Merlin and Arthur Closeup
Closeup portraits, pencil on paper, 2011.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Published: 2011-10-04
Words: 0
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 20
Kudos: 209
Bookmarks: 4
Hits: 2,637
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon
Arthur & Merlin's Journey To Their Happy Ending
Merlin & Arthur's first encounter left a bad impression on Merlin, who was convinced that Arthur was nothing but a prat. When Arthur & Merlin's paths cross again a few years later, Arthur will do anything to change Merlin's opinion of him. But what happens when Merlin is diagnosed with cancer & doesn't tell Arthur, not wanting to be a burden on him? Will they find their way back to each other? It's up to Arthur to set things right.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Additional Tags: Cancer, Happy Ending, Hospitals, Angst, Friendship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hospitalization, Pining, sick Merlin
Language: English
Published: 2013-12-12
Words: 22,951
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 19
Kudos: 176
Bookmarks: 26
Hits: 6,966
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Will (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Elena (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Mithian (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Merlin and Arthur's High School Reunion
Gwen and Merlin both have people they're hoping to see when they make plans to attend their ten-year high school reunion.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Romance, First Love, School Reunion, Angst
Language: English
Published: 2014-01-24
Words: 5,108
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 6
Kudos: 287
Bookmarks: 21
Hits: 4,137
Categories: F/M, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin)
Arthur and Merlin get caught in a snowstorm
Arthur builds them a cozy little nest, and Merlin makes a fire.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (BBC)
Additional Tags: Remix, camelotremix
Language: English
Published: 2010-10-09
Words: 1,892
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 6
Kudos: 103
Bookmarks: 6
Hits: 2,171
Characters: Merlin, Arthur Pendragon
Merlin's Trial, Arthur's Plan and How It All Went Awry
Merlin has to reveal his magic in order to save Arthur and Uther arrests him. This is the story of the trial and Arthur's plan to save Merlin. Neither of which go as expected. No Meant to be funny (you be the judge), also shows how much Merlin is loved in Camalot.Some spoilers, nothing big. Set before Lance's death but after Morgana leaves.
Rating: General Audiences
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: a lot of monologues, bit of a character study, Friendship
Language: English
Published: 2014-04-03
Words: 4,441
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 3
Kudos: 64
Bookmarks: 4
Hits: 1,060
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Movies
Merlin decides it's time to show Arthur what a movie is, but it doesn't go according to plan.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Merthur - Freeform, disney reference, Fluff, post reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arthur's trying, Merlin's exasperated, Neck Kissing
Language: English
Published: 2014-04-30
Words: 804
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 118
Bookmarks: 3
Hits: 2,446
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Art - Arthur & Merlin's First Kiss
Merlin isn't sure of Arthur's real intentions, but he will find out soon enough. :)
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Camelot Drabble Holiday Exchange Fest, First Kiss, Digital Art, Fluff, Romance, Comic
Language: English
Published: 2014-01-02
Words: 0
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 128
Bookmarks: 6
Hits: 2,988
Characters: Arthur Pendragon, Merlin (Merlin)
Merlin and Arthur
A Poem about Merlin and Arthur
Rating: General Audiences
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Team Green, Merthur Party 2013, poem, probably shitty poem
Language: English
Published: 2013-12-27
Words: 183
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 10
Kudos: 94
Bookmarks: 6
Hits: 999
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Merlin, Arthur, the Ass and the Bee
A domestic scene in Camelot
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Drunkenness, Fluff, Gambling
Language: English
Published: 2014-04-13
Words: 499
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 5
Kudos: 91
Bookmarks: 4
Hits: 1,361
a Merlin ficlet, Arthur's POV
When Arthur's king, there'll be another way.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (BBC)
Character: Arthur Pendragon
Additional Tags: Blank Verse Blog Week, Poetry
Language: English
Published: 2009-04-23
Words: 392
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 23
Bookmarks: 2
Hits: 721
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Gaius/Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Destiny and Doom
Arthur hires a band for his nephew, little Mordred's birthday.What could go wrong?Apparently .... everything.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Additional Tags: Destiny and Doom, merlin and arthur - Freeform, Merthur - Freeform, Merlin Is In A Band, Merlin Is A Singer, Merlin is a Little Shit (Merlin), Kid Mordred (Merlin), Band Fic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Uther Is A Tired Grandpa, Arthur is a clotpole, dollophead, Cabbagehead, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Music, Alternate Universe - Music, Cute Kids, Meet-Cute, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Boys Kissing, Boys In Love, Idiots in Love, Prat, two sides of the same coin
Language: English
Published: 2019-07-06
Words: 2,890
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 11
Kudos: 144
Bookmarks: 16
Hits: 2,171
Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M
Fandoms: Merlin (TV), Merlin (TV) RPF
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Freya/Merlin (Merlin), Freya & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin/Will (Merlin), Merlin & Will (Merlin), Morgana/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot du Lac/Arthur Pendragon, Mordred/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Mordred & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Mordred (Merlin), Merlin/Mordred (Merlin), Mordred/Morgana (Merlin), Mordred & Morgana (Merlin), Leon/Morgana (Merlin), Leon/Mordred (Merlin), Leon & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Gwen & Lancelot (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Gwen & Morgana (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon/Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana/Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana/Arthur Pendragon/Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Will (Merlin), Freya (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
The numbness was worth it
Merlin gets stabbed and gets treated by GaiusMerlin has to be resting or else the numbness Gaius gave him would ware offArthur gets bored looking at Merlin so he runs off to fighthe runs into MorganaMerlin ignores the numbness to go help his friendAltough,Morgana tells Arthur something secretive that Merlin hearsWhat is it?
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Additional Tags: Adventure, Romance
Language: English
Published: 2014-07-27
Words: 1,359
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 5
Hits: 610
Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage Sex
Characters: Merlin, Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Lady Morgana, Gaius (Merlin)
Arthur and Merlin
Arthur and Merlin just enjoying each other’s company.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin - Fandom
Relationship: Arthur/Merlin
Additional Tags: Fluff, Cuddling, Short
Language: English
Published: 2020-04-30
Words: 105
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 229
Bookmarks: 3
Hits: 4,499
Characters: Arthur, Merlin
royal blood
..... as if Balinor could be killed by Bandits O.oAlternatively:An alternative take on Balinor surviving and saving Camelot....And then proceeding to hold the entire kingdom hostage, because he has a frigging Dragon at his disposal :)
Rating: Not Rated
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Royalty, Balinor Lives (Merlin), Everybody Lives, Protective Arthur, POV Arthur, Jealous Arthur, Oblivious Arthur, BAMF Arthur, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Protective Merlin, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin’s Magic (Merlin), Good Morgana (Merlin), Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), dragon - Freeform, dragon lord, Arthur thinks Merlin is adopted, Soulmates, Potions, Potions Accident, Soulmate AU, Marriage, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Knights - Freeform, nobles - Freeform, Albion, The Golden Age (Destiny), Golden Age, Immortality, Immortal Merlin (Merlin), Immortal Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2020-04-25
Words: 26,590
Chapters: 4/4
Comments: 274
Kudos: 3,989
Bookmarks: 636
Hits: 57,955
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M, F/F
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor & Merlin (Merlin), Balinor/Hunith (Merlin), Balinor & Kilgharrah (Merlin), Balinor & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hunith & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hunith & Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Completed: 2020-05-02
Merlin and Arthur finally getting that serotonin
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Art, Drawing, Fan Art
Language: English
Published: 2020-07-02
Words: 7
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12
Bookmarks: 1
Hits: 1,154
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Arthur Touches Merlin More Than He Absolutely Has To
As the title suggests, this is a compilation of times when Arthur's touches lingered, and Merlin noticed.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Caretaking, Injury, Self-Sacrifice, Touching, Touch-Starved, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Banter, Feeding, Feeding Kink, Getting Together, First Kiss, Kissing, Boys Kissing, Sharing a Bed, Sharing Clothes, Awkward Kissing, Love, Friendship/Love, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Eye Sex, Eye Contact, and a lot of it, tm - Freeform
Language: English
Published: 2019-07-21
Words: 5,493
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 30
Kudos: 1,304
Bookmarks: 135
Hits: 12,622
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin)
Memory Jar
Uther Pendragon is dead.The sorcerer succeeded. And now a new king rules over Camelot and fights wars with the neighboring kingdoms.At his side, his loyal puppet the Shadow. Or as others like to call him: Emrys.The only one who can stop them is Prince Arthur Pendragon.The problem is: Nobody remembers who that is. Not even Arthur himself.
Rating: Not Rated
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Memory Loss, Memory Magic, Memory Charms, uther pendragon is dead, Who is Arthur Pendragon, POV Arthur, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Uther Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Protective Merlin, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin’s Magic (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Evil Merlin (Merlin), except not really, evil sorcerer, Marriage Proposal, Marriage, Gwen and Lance are married, Good Morgana (Merlin), neutral mordred, Slow Burn, Amnesia, Temporary Amnesia, Soul Bond, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Published: 2020-05-13
Words: 68,857
Chapters: 17/17
Comments: 184
Kudos: 577
Bookmarks: 102
Hits: 16,292
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Agravaine & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Agravaine & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Mordred (Merlin), Mordred & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine & Lancelot (Merlin), Gwaine & Gwen (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin, Gwen (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Emrys, Morgana (Merlin), Agravaine (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Kara (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Freya (Merlin), Lady of the Lake, Original Characters, Original Child Character(s)
Completed: 2020-11-14
When Arthur saw Merlin
Arthur and Merlin go swimming. And Arthur sees Merlin.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Merthur - Freeform, Fluff without Plot, Nudity, Consent, Swimming, Canon Era, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Intimacy
Language: English
Published: 2020-10-02
Words: 1,160
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 14
Kudos: 458
Bookmarks: 30
Hits: 4,820
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
merlin and arthur (the autumn version)
fall photo collection
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: polaroids, Photographs, Autumn, Fanart
Language: English
Published: 2020-10-27
Words: 69
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40
Bookmarks: 1
Hits: 518
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
merlin & arthur | stay with me
Happy(?) anniversary!! 😂😭
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Major Character Death
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fanvids
Language: English
Published: 2020-12-24
Words: 53
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9
Hits: 189
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Merlin and Arthur’s New Year Adventure
Arthur and Merlin plan to go to NYC for the ball drop, but Merlin gets sick. Arthur is being a sweet husband, Merlin finds a creative solution.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fluff, New Years, Married Couple, Sick! Merlin, no magic, merlin doesn’t have magic, no beta we die like men, based on a challenge prompt
Language: English
Published: 2021-01-01
Words: 827
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 9
Kudos: 57
Bookmarks: 5
Hits: 934
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Mentions of Gwen, Mentions of Lance, mentions of Gwaine and the other knights, mentions of Morgana - Character
The Month of Marriage.
This is a collection of oneshots forMarry Merthur Month, coupled with lefayart'sMerlin Inktoberprompts. So if you want to see our favourite idiots tie the knot in as many different ways as possible, come on and enjoy the ride.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Married Couple, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Court Sorcerer Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Drinking, King Merlin (Merlin), Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Prince Merlin (Merlin), Royal Merlin (Merlin), Arranged Marriage, Idiots in Love, Boys In Love, oneshots, Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Self Confidence Issues, Powerful Merlin (Merlin), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Good Morgana (Merlin), Good Mordred (Merlin), Alternate Universe - Pirate, Pirates, Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Reincarnation, Mpreg, Implied Mpreg, Disabled Character, Disabled Arthur Pendragon, Dragon Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), Soul Bond, Temporary Character Death, Immortal Merlin (Merlin), Polyamory, Parent Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Parent Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Returns (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2019-10-01
Words: 63,679
Chapters: 31/31
Comments: 205
Kudos: 1,216
Bookmarks: 186
Hits: 22,565
Categories: M/M, F/M, F/F
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Leon/Morgana (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot/Morgana (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Iseldir (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Will (Merlin), Aithusa (Merlin), Cenred (Merlin)
Completed: 2020-01-25
Merlin Teaches Arthur How To Drive: what could possibly go wrong?
“Merlin?” Arthur asked, his hands gripping the door in terror.“Yes, Arthur?” Merlin answered, distractedly.“Do you even know how to drive?”
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Driving, Immortality is one hell of a buffer, Arthur learns how to drive, Post-Canon, Merlin (Merlin) drives like Crowley (Good Omens), Australian Road Rules, Cause im australian and i only just got my licence and im not confusing myself any more, Neither Merlin nor Arthur can actually drive, Attempt at Humor, Humor, Humour and Hijinks, Hijinks & Shenanigans, vague driving instructions, Don't Try This At Home, Crack, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Published: 2021-01-06
Words: 1,109
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 14
Kudos: 75
Bookmarks: 8
Hits: 437
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)
Merlin & Arthur's guide to making Valentine's day cake
Another adventure of mini!Merlin and mini!Arthur.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fanart, Photo Shoots, Action Figures, Fluff, Recipes, Image Heavy
Language: English
Published: 2015-02-14
Words: 89
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 13
Kudos: 64
Bookmarks: 2
Hits: 1,365
Merlin & Arthur Advent 2021
A month full of miniature Merthur ficlets - each chapter is a stand-alone mini fic. Happy December!
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Advent Calendar Drabble, Christmas Mini Fics, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, An entire month of these two boys being completely adorable idiots, no beta we die like men, most of these will be written on my phone so beware typos, chapter tags in notes, Tags May Change, Modern AU, Canon Era, Mostly Fluff, Established Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, First Kiss, First Meetings, Some angst, Always a Happy Ending
Language: English
Published: 2021-12-01
Words: 38,561
Chapters: 30/30
Comments: 300
Kudos: 297
Bookmarks: 39
Hits: 5,050
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin Ensemble
Completed: 2022-02-04
Merlin and Arthur tag along with Harry Potter (and the Philosopher's Stone)
Merlin’s been keeping a close eye on the Riddle boy. It’s the flirting with the Balance that sets Riddle apart, makes him Merlin’s business. Merlin’s never gone out of his way to involve himself. When Riddle drags a baby boy into his mess, though, it’s too far. It’s a little too close to that life-for-a-life business. A little too close to Queen Ygraine’s death. Arthur agrees.They’re not the only ones watching. Albus Dumbledore has inserted himself and is already deconstructing the situation, putting measures into place and making plans. The boy is taken care of. Merlin and Arthur make some plans of their own.-------------------Merlin and Arthur take note the night Harry Potter cheats death (the first time). When the boy turns 11, they decide it's high time they went back to Hogwarts.
Rating: Not Rated
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Additional Tags: Hogwarts, Hogwarts First Year, Book 1: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Friendship, First Meetings, Diagon Alley, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Arthur, Immortal Merlin (Merlin), Immortal Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Children, Undercover, Secret Identity, Chaotic Dumbassery at its finest, nonbinary Merlin, Immortal Husbands, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Merlin
Language: English
Published: 2021-08-30
Words: 65,636
Chapters: 23/23
Comments: 645
Kudos: 2,875
Bookmarks: 447
Hits: 68,949
Fandoms: Merlin (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Rubeus Hagrid, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Severus Snape, Quirinus Quirrell
Completed: 2021-12-02
Merlin, Arthur, and the horrible, no good, very bad week.
Written for Merthur Week 2021.Arthur and Merlin go through 7 days of hell. One event after another threatening to pull the apart. With magic, danger, and outside forces conspiring against them, will they survive the week? And if they do, will they still be together when it is done?
Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Merthur Week 2021, Canon Era, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Slow Burn, Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2021-12-20
Words: 21,127
Chapters: 7/7
Comments: 11
Kudos: 224
Bookmarks: 46
Hits: 3,832
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-12-31
Soldier, Peasant, King
Bereft of the emotions that should have come at the implications of the sentence, Uther's tone is stoic as if his own son is a common prisoner. “You are to leave Camelot by nightfall. If we find you have returned to the grounds of this kingdom we will have no choice but to carry out your original sentence in the highest order.”Exiledanddisinherited? Brilliant.An AU where Uther, under the influence of Troll!Catrina and Goblin!Gaius legitimately disinherits Arthur and he must deal with the consequences thereof in an attempt to reclaim Camelot.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Alternate Universe, Disinherited Arthur AU, Slow Burn, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Good Morgana (Merlin), Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin), Angst, Egregious Use of Italics, minor Gwen/Arthur that never goes anywhere, Bisexual Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Petty Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Cooking as an Extended Metaphor for the Intimacy Your Bi Crisis Can't Process Yet, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Slow Burn Character Development feat. Arthur Pendragon, Alternate Universe - Competent Writers, Technical "In Vino Veritas" Moment™, Arthur Pendragon's Cottagecore Depression, The One Where The Crack Episodes Are Serious And The Serious Ones Are Crack, Arthur is Dealing with Internalized Biphobia, The Party™ Faces Too Many Bandits And Patrols That Constantly Ruin Their Plans, Ygraine's sigil, The Cup of Life, Alcoves Are For Gay Shit, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, Glacial Burn, Glacial Burn Resolved in the Sequel. We Promise., Now With More Gay Than Originally Planned., Unreliable Narrator, Beacause Arthur is Biased
Language: English
Published: 2021-05-08
Words: 159,773
Chapters: 35/35
Comments: 951
Kudos: 2,026
Bookmarks: 460
Hits: 71,191
Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Catrina/Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor/Hunith (Merlin), Balinor & Merlin (Merlin), Isolde/Tristan (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Troll Catrina (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Freya (Merlin), Alice (Merlin), Iseldir (Merlin), Sefa (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Tristan (Merlin), Isolde (Merlin), Morgause (Merlin), Ygraine de Bois (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Fisher King (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Aithusa (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Cenred (Merlin), Grettir (Merlin), Cornelius Sigan, Kilgharrah (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-12-17
The Laughter From the Next Room
A small ball hovered in her hand, shining with a silver-blue light. It floated there, getting brighter and brighter before dimming again. Wisps of cloud swirled at its center. It was pure magic.And the breath was stolen from Arthur’s lungs.“I thought you’d recognize it. He said it was warm. He said it reminded him of home.”It has been one year since Merlin's death when Arthur meets Morgana on the battlefield.Somehow, between all the guilt and shame, he discovers that his sister knew Merlin better than he ever did - and ever would.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Everyone Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Major Character Injury, Character Death, Betrayal, Angry Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Arthur is a Prat, arthur reacts badly, Good Morgana (Merlin), Morgana Knows about Merlin's Magic (Merlin), morgana redemption, Merlin & Morgana Friendship (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, comfort comes late, too late, Presumed Dead, Immortal Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Morgana (Merlin), knights of the round table - Freeform, the knights are awesome, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), oc for like half a second, gaius is dead sorry, its sad before it gets happy, Albion, Camelot, Merlin is Emrys (Merlin), Protective Merlin
Language: English
Published: 2023-01-06
Words: 24,541
Chapters: 6/6
Comments: 196
Kudos: 1,569
Bookmarks: 411
Hits: 19,807
Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Lancelot & Merlin (Merlin), Leon & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Mordred (Merlin), Merlin & Percival (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin)
Completed: 2023-02-22
In Exchange For Your Heart
Work page not found or no link in PDF; showing extracted metadata.
Dark!fic The Kingdom of Avalon has fallen. Arthur finds himself the reluctant keeper of the fallen enemy prince. Destiny had somehow made a mistake. *** "You don't have to, you know," Arthur said. "Not all the time." "What?" came Merlin’s clipped response from the corner after a moment. Arthur turned around to face his captive. "Be this," he gestured at Merlin broadly. "Be defiant, brave....stoic....all the time. It is painful to watch." Merlin didn't answer. Arthur sighed. "Just....just....when that door closes, when we reach the end of the day. Just allow yourself to relax for just a while." Arthur tried on a small smile, holding his palms up in a gesture of surrender. "I promise I won't tell anybody."
Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Category: F/M, M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV), Arthurian Mythology
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Ygraine de Bois/Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)/Original Character(s)
Character: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Cenred (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Freya (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Agravaine (Merlin), Morgause (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Dark Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Slavery, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Imprisonment, Slow Build, Captivity, Cruelty, Tragic Romance, Eventual Romance, Stockholm Syndrome, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Manipulative Relationship, Whump, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Possessive Behavior, Period-Typical Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Unrequited Love, Abusive Relationships, Revenge, Alternate Universe, Starvation, Jealousy, Alternate Universe - Dark
Published: 2021-12-27
Updated: 2022-02-27
Words: 57735
Chapters: 14/20
Merlin's Worries, Arthur's Distractions
Work page not found or no link in PDF; showing extracted metadata.
Magic has been used in Ealdor and Merlin needs a distraction. Author: Emrys MK Title : Merlin's Worries, Arthur's Distractions Rating : M Characters/pairings : Merlin/Arthur, Leon/Percival, Gwen, Hunith Summary : Magic has been spotted in Ealdor and Merlin needs a distraction. Words : ~1000 Warnings: angst Prompt 184: Infinite A/N : Part nine of my reincarnation series Merlin and Arthur Live Again . I want to thank Lucy, who asked if I would write about Arthur's past relationships. I haven't delved into much yet, but I did give a hint into his past. More to come. If there are any other things readers wants me to write about, please let me know, and, if it fits in, I'll do it. "Last week, a local female citizen of Ealdor, population fifty-seven, was arrested. Details are sketchy, but it is believed that this female attempted to perform magic. While sorcery is not illegal, a new law went into effect last month requiring magics to register. This person was not registered, hence the detainment. We will continue to follow this story and keep you abreast of the latest developments. Jo-" Merlin had heard enough; he turned off the telly and turned to see his mother's reaction, and, just as expected, her face was pale and she was staring at him, a look of abject terror on her face. Merlin attempted a smile. "It's okay, Mum, you know I'm careful. No one here knows about me." "If you're found out, Merlin, they'll take you away from us. They won't listen to reason. The-" Merlin had stood as she began speaking, walked to her, knelt, and taken her hands in his. "Mum, don't do this. There's no reason why anyone should suspect anything. None of the neighbors know. The only ones who ever knew were Arthur and his mother. You'll remember that they purposely did not tell Mr. Pendragon. There is nothing at all to worry about. I promise," Merlin said, hoping he sounded much more confident than he felt. The truth was he'd heard about the girl's arrest a few days earlier and had been on heightened alert since, thinking that at any second someone would come arrest him and take him away. His mother nodded, but continued to look worried. "It's your father's work, Merlin. I fear his dealings will come back to you. He travels so much and we don't know what all he does, but we do know what he uses to do it. If he's caught, then you know they'll want to question and exploit you." "Yeah, I know, but we can't worry about that," Merlin said, knowing that he had no other choice but to sound and act as if this didn't bother him. The last thing he wanted was for his mother to worry herself to death over this, and there was no doubt that she would do that very thing. Merlin knew that Hunith Emrys's life was her son. "It'll be okay." He kissed her on the forehead. Thirty minutes later he received a text from Arthur: Hey, Merlin. I know we talked for two hours earlier, but I just saw the news and figured you needed a distraction. Are you busy? Merlin: No, I'm not busy. You know you can text or call anytime, and yes, distract me, please. Arthur: Remember the two guys we went out with Saturday night? Merlin: Yeah, really big blokes :-) Arthur: Yeah, well, today Leon called and told me Percy and he are together. Merlin: Seriously? Arthur: Yeah. Merlin: But I thought Leon was with your former girlfriend, Gwen. Arthur: Yeah, they were, but she caught Percy and him together this morning and told Leon she never wanted to see him again and that she should have stayed with me, that I knew how to treat a lady. Merlin: And does she know that you'd rather treat a bloke these days? Arthur: She didn't, but she does now. Merlin: And how did that go down? Arthur: She called me just before I texted you and asked me if I wanted to meet her for drinks. She didn't go into any detail about what happened but told me she and Leon were finished and that she regretted ending things with me last year. Merlin: And? Arthur: I told her I was with someone else. Merlin: And? Arthur: She asked me who. Merlin: You're enjoying this, aren't you? Arthur: Immensely. Merlin: So, did you tell her who? Arthur: I told her it was someone who didn't live in Camelot. Her single word reply: Merlin. Merlin: And what did you say to that? Arthur: I told her yes, it was you and that I was flattered and I respected her and thought fondly of our time together, but that my heart now belonged to you and I hoped she and I could still be friends. Merlin: It works for Freya and me. Arthur: You can be friends with anyone, Merlin. I don't make friends at all easily. My dad takes great pride in reminding me daily how much of a failure I am when it comes to being social. Merlin: I'll never badmouth your father because hell hath no fury like me when someone speaks ill of either of my parents, but I so wish he could understand you like I do, Arthur. Arthur: Me too, Merlin, but back to Gwen. She said yes, that she wants to be friends and that she wants to meet you properly, not just in passing. Then she asked me when we were moving in together. I had to set her straight and tell her that just because we are two men who are together, it doesn't mean we have to live together. I told her I plan to finish uni and you're about to begin and that we are in no hurry to become domestic, that we have the rest of our lives to do that. But I did tell her that when it happens she'll be the first to know. Merlin: I look forward to that day :-) and Gwen sounds a lot like Freya. Merlin was about to add to the text when his mother knocked on his door. "Come in, Mum," he said, before finishing the text: Mum wants to talk so I've got to go. Talk to you tomorrow. Arthur: Have a good night, Merlin. Merlin: You, too, Arthur. Merlin's mother walked into his room. "Your father just called." "And?" asked a frantic Merlin, his breathing erratic. "He wanted to tell me he accepted another job today; it has nothing to do with magic and the pay is substantially more. You can go to Avalon. Your opportunities are infinite, Merlin." Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M, M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon/Percival (Merlin)
Character: Hunith (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Leon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Past Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Modern Era, Magic Series: Part 9 of Merlin and Arthur Live Again Collections: Camelot Drabble -- Prompt #184: Infinite
Published: 2015-11-05
Words: 1103
24 Hours
"Gwaine." Arthur says finally, already feeling a headache set in."King Arthur Pendragon of Camelot." Gwaine smiles gracefully??At this, the knights and Arthur blanch as one. Of course he is possessed, Gwaine won't use a proper title to save his life."I am not possessed..." Gwaine declares, looking directly at Arthur, then a bit to his left, gaze softening almost imperceptibly, expression incredulous as he says, "... especially not by a fictitious arthropod/villain of a show that doesn't air for 1500 years."Arthur cannot tell you what the bastard meant with such an absurd proclamation, considering how it was utter codswallop. But Merlin seems to understand something he doesn't, and gives out a sort of 'meep' sound.orGeorge asks Arthur to get his head out of his ass. Leon slowly loses his will to live. Gwaine and Merlin remember floating in supernovas. Albion blooms.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Merlin is a god, Merlin is a Little Shit (Merlin), Merlin is Emrys (Merlin), BAMF George (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Gwaine (Merlin), Gwaine is Merlin's brother, Epic Bromance, Long-Suffering Leon (Merlin), God!Merlin, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Everyone Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), The Knights Know About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Knights Of The Round Table (Merlin) - Freeform, Protective Knights (Merlin), Protective Lancelot (Merlin), Angst, Fluff, Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, merlin is a warrior, Merlin is good With a sword, merlin remembers, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Worried Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Falling In Love, Love Confessions, Getting Together, First Kiss, Arthur Pendragon Whump (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur knights Merlin (Merlin), How is that not a tag, Gods, The Old Religion (Merlin), The triple goddess - Freeform, Hindu Mythos, Gwaine is the Triple Goddess, i said what i said, God reveal, Merlin is Myrridin, Merlin is a Disaster (Merlin), Guilty Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin is a slut (Merlin), (allegedly) - Freeform, Angry Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2023-03-24
Words: 6,891
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 38
Kudos: 296
Bookmarks: 40
Hits: 4,252
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine/Percival (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), George (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Cenred (Merlin)
Sunrise in Ealdor, Sunset in Camelot
Merlin gets sick on an errand and is stuck in Ealdor. When delivering the medicine, Arthur accidentally discovers Merlin’s magic while he is asleep, and wants to protect him when they return to Camelot. The only way is to supervise him when he is asleep, which makes for an awkward sleeping situation. The two become more and more close and the boundaries between magic and love become blurred as Arthur asks himself the question: how much is too much change?“Some things,” he continued, “when hidden, become explosive. Secrets create guilt where there is none. If people ask questions, let them. We don’t have to say anything more than the truth.”“What do you know?”“More than I should,” he rose up one step, now eye-to-eye, “and yet, less than I want to.”
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Ealdor (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Dreams and Nightmares, one bed, Idiots in Love, Sick Merlin (Merlin), Soft Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon-centric (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Birthday Fluff, Birthday Presents, Awesome Hunith (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), merlin at the start, I like Ealdor and thought they could have done more with the place, Slow Burn, arthur on his cottage core arc, arthur is scared of dogs, animals love arthur, Holding Hands, Arthur talking about his feelings, Will and Merlin before canon, The “what are we?” conversation, sharing a saddle, Siblings Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Caretaking, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Slow Dancing, Drunk Dancing, Disguise, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Merlin Doesn't Know that Arthur Pendragon Knows (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2023-03-19
Words: 96,094
Chapters: 19/19
Comments: 151
Kudos: 1,614
Bookmarks: 283
Hits: 49,376
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Hunith & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Original Characters, Will (Merlin), Original Child Character(s), Morgana (Merlin), Leon (Merlin)
Completed: 2023-08-18
Arthur & Merlin: Destiny made more of the Master and Servant
Basically, my sister bought a bunch of nice, shiny, new thin markers and I obviously had to use them. This was the result. I'm not going to claim that it's amazing or anything, but it's pretty dang adorable and also I had fun with it, so oh well. I have five pictures done for this series, each from a different fandom. This one is the Merlin BBC picture. Enjoy!
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Fanart, markers are the medium, cause my sister bought a bunch and i had to use them, this was the result, no it isn't professional, but i had fun so who cares, team 2
Language: English
Published: 2012-11-02
Words: 0
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22
Bookmarks: 1
Hits: 4,414
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur friendship, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Merlin (Arthurian), Arthur Pendragon, Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Merlin and Arthur: Confrontation
Work page not found or no link in PDF; showing extracted metadata.
Quite simply, the lyrics of 'The Confrontation' from Les Misérables rewritten for a scenario in which Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic. Notes I've really enjoyed seeing Les Mis at the cinema, and this is my favourite song. Then I told my friend Blackthorn14 (Find her on DA, Tumblr etc!) that someone should rewrite the words for Arthur finding out about Merlin's magic. Then I had a go and so did she, and some of her lines were much better than mine, and some of mine she preferred over hers; so I did a bit of cutting and copying and some tweaking here and there, and what you see before you is a more or less equal collaboration. Unfortunately neither of us can sing, but we were pretty pleased with how it turned out, so it seemed a shame not to post it up somewhere... Someone clever Merlin cosplayers need to record this for us. Please, talented people of the internet, do it! For best effect, try singing this along to the track :) We used the film version, though :) [ARTHUR] Merlin, at last, Your secret becomes plain A sorcerer And Camelot’s betrayed [MERLIN] Before you say another word, Arthur Before you send me to the stake to burn Listen to me! There is something you should know. I was working for our destiny. Everything I did I did for you, For Camelot, I fought as best I knew We’re two sides of the same coin. Different sides- [ARTHUR] Merlin, stop it now! I've seen the things magic can do You deserve no trust from me A liar like you. [MERLIN(counterpoint)] Believe of me what you will This is something I had to do You don’t know what I’ve done All I did was save your life You know nothing I have done If not for me you would be dead My magic helped build Albion I am warning you Arthur You still need me by your side There is power in this world That you can’t face alone [ARTHUR(counterpoint)] You have tricked me all these years I considered you a friend No, It was all a lie How many men have I lost? How many fights? Come with me you sorcerer I’ll go on with my father’s deeds Our friendship means nothing now No mercy for scum like you You belong inside a jail All these years you’ve lived a lie You have treated me as a fool How could you keep this from me? I would have kept your secret well If you’d proved that you trust me I’d believe this destiny! Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV), Les Misérables (2012)
Character: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Song fic, Song Parody, Confrontation
Published: 2013-01-23
Words: 256
How Arthur Knew Merlin Was Gay
Gaius can't keep a secret and Arthur is worried about Merlin's drinking problem. Comedy.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Merlin is at the Tavern, Gaius is a Bad Secret Keeper
Language: English
Published: 2013-09-21
Words: 1,283
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 52
Kudos: 1,026
Bookmarks: 69
Hits: 13,798
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Merlin worships Arthur from afar, up close
Merlin accidentally turns Arthur into a bird, and learns something about his feelings for him.
Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (BBC)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur
Additional Tags: Animal Transformation
Language: English
Published: 2010-03-27
Words: 1,091
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 3
Kudos: 255
Bookmarks: 15
Hits: 4,625
Arthur overwhelms Merlin with how sappy he is the morning after
Merlin enjoys waking up next to Arthur
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (BBC)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur
Additional Tags: five things
Language: English
Published: 2010-03-13
Words: 861
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 124
Bookmarks: 6
Hits: 3,454
Characters: Merlin, Arthur
Just A Kiss From Your Lips
A collection of Merthur kiss one-shots, all in one convenient place. Each work will be a separate chapter, with its own title and summary. See notes for each chapter for possible warnings about content.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Canon Era, Mutual Pining, Pining Merlin (Merlin), Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Clumsy Merlin (Merlin), Fluff, Boys Kissing, Boys In Love, Dorks in Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Season/Series 01, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Angry Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Angry Merlin (Merlin), Angry Kissing, Light Angst, The boys need to use their words properly, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Worried Merlin (Merlin), Getting Together, Love Confessions, Hospitalization, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Sort Of, Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV Alternating, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin), Good Morgana (Merlin), Panic Attacks, but very mild, no beta we die like knights, Evil Morgana (Merlin), Confused Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Gwen/Arthur Pendragon - freeform, Gwen & Arthur Pendragon Friendship (Merlin), Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fake Marriage, except not really, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, idiots to lovers, Background Relationships, Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Strangers to Lovers, Cooking Lessons, Bad Cooking, Consort Merlin (Merlin), Smitten Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Romance
Language: English
Published: 2020-11-23
Words: 394,593
Chapters: 84/84
Comments: 1,785
Kudos: 3,355
Bookmarks: 441
Hits: 110,478
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Minor Characters, Morgana (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-12-28
Rhyme or Reason
Arthur leads Merlin to the edge of the forest.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Angst, Unhappy Ending, Seemingly unrequited love
Language: English
Published: 2018-04-16
Words: 727
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 38
Kudos: 232
Bookmarks: 16
Hits: 2,005
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Midnight in Arthur's Chambers
Merlin talks in his sleep at night.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Canon Era, Established Relationship, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Somniloquy (Sleep-Talking), Fluff
Language: English
Published: 2018-04-19
Words: 566
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 51
Kudos: 2,016
Bookmarks: 187
Hits: 13,454
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Thousands of Years And I’ve Still Got You
Arthur remembered exactly three days after Merlin. But not much changed for him. His own feelings about Merlin didn’t require much examination after remembering. Arthur of the past had loved Gwen, sure, but Arthur of the past had also loved Merlin. Arthur of the past didn’t ever bother examining what those feelings meant, they hardly mattered, what with Morgana’s betrayal, and running a kingdom, and needing an heir. Merlin had been his manservant and his friend and he had loved him. It really wasn’t particularly complicated. Feelings in the present seemed to require much more examination. He wasn’t sure why his modern day self had to be so angsty, or perhaps his past self had just been rather shallow.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Retrospective, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Published: 2019-01-16
Words: 1,802
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 10
Kudos: 254
Bookmarks: 25
Hits: 2,154
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Epilogue
Arthur organises a romantic dinner with Merlin at the very expensive and well known restaurant 'The Avalon' but has another surprise up his sleeve.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Confessions, Fluff, Domestic
Language: English
Published: 2018-09-17
Words: 897
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84
Bookmarks: 4
Hits: 1,052
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)
Someday
Prompt: Give Merlin and Arthur a happy ending please.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Protective Arthur, Boys In Love, Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sleepy Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling
Language: English
Published: 2020-01-19
Words: 693
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 8
Kudos: 363
Bookmarks: 24
Hits: 4,181
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Sunshine
Arthur gets shot!(A modern au one shot that has nothing else with it. I just saw a prompt and went with it)Please be sure to comment as I'd love to hear from all of you!
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Major Character Death
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: I’m sorry, Angst, One Shot, Arthur gets shot, this has no other context, angsty as fuck
Language: English
Published: 2019-12-27
Words: 400
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31
Bookmarks: 2
Hits: 340
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)
I'll be back, I promise
Arthur had to get Merlin out of Camelot, apparently the idiot has magic and his father, Uther had found out about it. He couldn't lose Merlin, he just couldn't
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin - Fandom
Additional Tags: Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Execution, Temporary Character Death, Arthur is slowly losing it, Everything is sad until it isn't
Language: English
Published: 2020-03-09
Words: 1,917
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 123
Bookmarks: 10
Hits: 1,589
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Leon & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin)
The arranged marriage between Arthur and Merlin.
King Merlin and King Arthur meet on their wedding day, Arthur has not been able to process his feelings properly and marries Merlin out of duty but Merlin vows to make his new husband happy, little did they know that they are perfect for one another, it will just take time.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, King Merlin - Freeform, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur does it out of duty., Merlin is not too sure about it., but as they learn more about one another, they fall in love, HARD, Arthur is sad and repressed his feelings out of duty, Merlin wants to make him happy, Fanart, Merlin Fanart, Arthur fanart, Ygraine Sigil
Language: English
Published: 2020-04-12
Words: 171
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 12
Kudos: 173
Bookmarks: 8
Hits: 4,360
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Familiar To You, Strange To Me
Merlin is on the run from Cenreds knights and transforms into a puppy. And who should find him but Arthur? Who takes him back to Camelot to become one of his hunting dogs.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash, Magic Revealed, Animal Transformation, Panic Attacks, Don't copy to another site, Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Jealousy, Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius did not sign up for a stupid reckless son, but that's what he got, Merlin did not prepare for this much work, Arthur did not ask to have his entire world view to be rewritten, Good Morgana (Merlin), this was not supposed to be this long, Arthur makes Merlin think about Kilgharrah’s prophesies and not just believe everything he hears, Technically finished but could be returned to
Language: English
Published: 2019-09-24
Words: 60,332
Chapters: 5/5
Comments: 54
Kudos: 778
Bookmarks: 172
Hits: 18,573
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Gaius & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Kilgharrah & Merlin (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Kilgharrah & Arthur Pendragon, Lancelot & Merlin (Merlin), Lancelot & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor & Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin)
Completed: 2019-12-07
Stupid And Beautiful
“Then... then you’re as stupid as you are ugly,” Arthur spat. Merlin gulped, and ran towards the door.“Merlin-“ he heard the scraping of a chair, “Wait,” Arthur said.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Cuddles, Sad Merlin (Merlin), Angry Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Sharing a Bed, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Published: 2020-04-25
Words: 484
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 5
Kudos: 288
Bookmarks: 10
Hits: 4,621
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
sleepy
Arthur knows about Merlin's magic. He's practically always known.He was more concerned over the fact that Merlin kept falling asleep EVERYWHERE.Not that he minds much.
Rating: Not Rated
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Sleep, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), POV Arthur, Protective Arthur, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Gwaine Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), No Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Published: 2020-04-13
Words: 14,596
Chapters: 2/2
Comments: 121
Kudos: 4,429
Bookmarks: 570
Hits: 42,124
Categories: Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Leon & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon & Merlin (Merlin), Elyan & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot & Merlin (Merlin), Lancelot & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine & Lancelot (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin)
Completed: 2020-04-16
A Scarf, a Poorly Wrapped Gift, and a Kiss
”Merlin Emrys, will you make me the happiest person in the universe and marry me?”
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Fluff, there is one curse word, light comedy, Anniversary, Anniversaries, Cold, Scarfs, Marriage Proposal, proposal, can be read as, Modern AU, or - Freeform, arthur returns au, resurrection AU, ? - Freeform, Soft Boys, Gay, LGBT, Idiots in Love
Language: English
Published: 2020-06-15
Words: 517
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 18
Kudos: 164
Bookmarks: 8
Hits: 1,071
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Arthur Pendragon and Merlin Emrys Read Thirst Tweets
Merlin: Hi, I’m Merlin Emrys!Arthur: And I’m Arthur Pendragon. We’re Camelot’s Striker and-Merlin: Camelot’s Goalkeeper!Arthur: And today we’re going to- ehm-Merlin: Read some Thirst Tweets! Here we go!
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Thirst Tweets, Alternate Universe - Football, Fluff and Crack, this is pure sheer crack sorry not sorry, Idiots in Love, Crack, Gwaine is still my fave idiot
Language: English
Published: 2020-07-06
Words: 1,453
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 150
Kudos: 2,087
Bookmarks: 95
Hits: 14,675
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Percival (Merlin)
Just Listen
Merlin wants to stop Arthur from going on another stupid quest assigned to him by Uther, but he believes he isn't worthy enough for Arthur to listen to him.OrMerlin believes he's nothing more than a good fuck for Arthur.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Protective Merlin, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), POV Merlin (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Oblivious Arthur, Arthurian, Boys In Love, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Era, Established Relationship, Parent Gaius (Merlin), Gaius is So Done (Merlin), No Smut, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur, Bossy Arthur, Soft Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), soft merlin, soft merthur, Fluffy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Feels, Friends With Benefits, During Canon, Secret Relationship, Arthur is in love
Language: English
Published: 2020-08-11
Words: 1,204
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 22
Kudos: 1,702
Bookmarks: 121
Hits: 18,668
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius & Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Peace for Our Time
Merlin froze for several seconds before squinting at Arthur across the table. “I feel like I’m definitely misunderstanding the situation here.”Arthur sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I really don’t think you are.”“You want me to learn magic?”
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Magic Revealed, Season/Series 05, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Whump, Canon Rewrite, Angst
Language: English
Published: 2019-03-22
Words: 91,060
Chapters: 37/37
Comments: 573
Kudos: 3,634
Bookmarks: 807
Hits: 83,971
Categories: F/M, Gen
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Mordred (Merlin), Merlin/Mithian (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Aithusa (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin)
Completed: 2019-04-27
Three Times Arthur Refuses To Hug Merlin And One Time Merlin Makes Him
Merlin scowled, wondering why the hell Arthur Pendragon had such a beef with hugging people.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Hugs, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Quote: Conceal Don't Feel (Disney), Non-Consensual Hugging, But Arthur liked it anyway so..., Cute, Adorable, Touch-Starved, Fluffy Ending, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts
Language: English
Published: 2020-08-26
Words: 867
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 20
Kudos: 529
Bookmarks: 29
Hits: 3,999
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
You're Safe Now.
"You... You have magic?" Arthur gasped out, "You're a sorcerer?"Merlin gave Arthur a solemn look, fear evident in his eyes."Yes, Arthur.""God Merlin." Arthur said."You must have been so lonely."---(A reveal fic, bc you can not tell me that Arthur 'you're my only friend and I couldn't bear to lose you' Pendragon would really just sulk in response to that)---Link to Français translation by the lovely SankaMalfoy in the notes.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Crying, Ambiguous Slash, French translation available
Language: English
Published: 2020-08-27
Words: 367
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 20
Kudos: 982
Bookmarks: 68
Hits: 7,118
Categories: Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
His favourite thing
Merlin visits Arthur in the hospital.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Caring Merlin (Merlin), Hospitals, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Published: 2020-10-13
Words: 295
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 6
Kudos: 134
Bookmarks: 1
Hits: 1,275
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)
Merlin's Kisses
Merlin kisses everyone.Everyone except Arthur.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Fluff, merlin being a cutie, so much flufffff, Kissing, a little bit of jealousy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Published: 2020-08-31
Words: 691
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 21
Kudos: 839
Bookmarks: 66
Hits: 5,326
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
We Were Hot
Work page not found or no link in PDF; showing extracted metadata.
Arthur and Merlin wake Gaius. They're absolutely terrible liars. The homophobia is mostly implied, nothing outright. "Merlin?" Arthur hissed out, as he leaned into a crevice in the wall. "Arthur! Finally." The dark haired boy popped out from his hiding place, bringing a relieved sigh from Arthur. "I was held up. My father." Merlin nodded in understanding and the two slipped into the dark. Minutes later Merlin was pressed back against the stone wall, hips held down by Arthur's hand. The blonde boy nipped gently at Merlin's neck, murmuring into his ear. "Missed you." Merlin sighed into the touch of Arthur's lips, and the blonde brought his head up, bringing his lips to Merlin's. The two pressed together, Merlin tugging his lover close. Several minutes later, the two broke apart, chests heaving and lips swollen. Merlin grinned up at Arthur, who returned the look. Arthur took Merlin by the hand and the two slipped quietly up to Merlin's room. As soon as the door shut Arthur was pulling Merlin close again, seeking any touch. The blonde pushed Merlin back slightly, falling onto the bed. Merlin laughed, then clapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes twinkling. Arthur snorted, but the two quickly became involved in each other's touch once again. Arthur lay on top of Merlin, cradling the dark haired boy's face in his hand, and kissing the life out of him. Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur, pulling him closer. Arthur slid one hand away from Merlin's face, and slowly slid it under the fabric of Merlin's shirt, his hand resting on Merlin's stomach, a gentle warmth. Arthur's lips traveled down Merlin's neck, the smaller boy moaning quietly and the sensation. Arthur rested his other hand on Merlin's chest, and then whispered out a rough, "Off." Merlin sat up, tugging the shirt over his shoulders, before laying back down, a blush spreading down his neck to his chest. Arthur smirked at him, then re-connected their lips briefly, his mouth traveling slowly across Merlin's torso, teasing his nipples gently, slowly, before traveling down further. He teased Merlin a bit, tracing patterns across Merlin's stomach, knowing he was ticklish. "Arthur!" Merlin hissed, his stomach tensing in protest. Merlin shoved at Arthur's head lightly, teasingly, but Arthur got off Merlin entirely. "Oh, you want me off then?" He smirked, and Merlin groaned. "No, I don't." "You sure? You really seemed like you didn't there." His tone was teasing, and Merlin replied with, "I don't want you tickling me, but I want you...there..." "Where?" "/There/. Arthur, you know what I mean!" "I wanna hear you say it." Arthur said, murmuring into his ear, as he lowered his body back down onto Merlin's. Merlin rolled his eyes, but muttered out, "I want you on my cock." Arthur laughed, low in his throat. "Perfect." The blonde slid back down to Merlin's stomach, and after pressing a kiss to his belly button and getting a threatening glare from Merlin he went lower. Arthur grabbed at Merlin's trousers, sliding them off his legs. His head went down, and Merlin's back arched. ------- Sometime later Arthur lay on Merlins chest, both boys sweaty, their bare skin rosy from their activities. They lay in silence, snuggled into each other, their legs entwined, candlelight flickering on them. Merlin slid his hand onto Arthur's cheek, tilting the blonde's head so their eyes met. "Hmm?" Arthur mumbled sleepily. "I love you." Arthur smiled, his eyes close to shutting. "Love you too Mer." Suddenly, the door opened, showing the shocked face of Gaius. "Excuse me?!" The two jumped, Merlin trying to stutter out an excuse. "Um, uh, I was jus- I mean, we were just-" Arthur interuppted. "We were just hot." Merlin glared at him when Gaius glanced away, to which Arthur raised his eyebrows, with an expression saying, 'what else could I say.' "You were hot then." Gaius said, clearly unbelieving, "Why were you here in the first place then your Majesty? In Merlin's bed of all places." "Well, um," Now it was Arthur's turn to sputter. "He had a disagreement with his father, and needed some place to cool off. We got tired." Merlin offered. Gaius raised an eyebrow, and then sighed. "I'm sure you could return to your room without confrontation from your father now my lord." "Certainly." Arthur glanced at the door, knowing he was still undressed. "I'll leave in a moment." Arthur nodded at Gaius, who sighed and left the room, but not before giving Merlin a Look. As soon as the door shut, Arthur scrambled for his clothes, as did Merlin. "Hey," Arthur said, catching sight of Merlin's fearful face. "We'll be okay. I can see to that." Merlin nodded, and Arthur brushed his cheek softly with his hand, then leaned in for a quick, very quick kiss. The two went downstairs, and after bidding Gaius goodnight, Arthur was on his way. Merlin avoided the old man's eyes, and tried to walk quietly to his room, but Gaius stopped him. "So. Are you going to explain?" "I thought we already had." Gaius sighed, and sat down. "Merlin. I'm not stupid. Besides the fact that both of your clothes were strewn about the floor and your bodies are both strewn with kissbruises, you are both terrible, terrible, liars." Merlin let out a gust of air, and sat down, his face in his hand. After a moment he raised his head, meeting Gaius's eyes. "I'm sorry." "Do you love him?" "What?" "I asked you if you love him. Do you?" "Yes." Merlin whispered, eyes on the floor now. "And he you?" "Yes." "How long?" "Less than a year. Eight months, in two weeks." "Well. Invite him here tommorow, I just talk with him." Merlin looked up, wary. "Why?" "I'm your guardian, I have to approve of him. He may be the kings son, but that doesn't mean he gets to hurt my ward." Gaius looked down at Merlin kindly, whose face clearly showed his shock. "You aren't going to kick me out? Or report us?" "No, I'm not Merlin. I care for you, if Arthur is who makes you happy then so be it. Doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on him tommorow though." He said with a wink. "Thank you." Merlin said, still somewhat dazed. "Of course." Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Character: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Canon Era, Secret Relationship, Period-Typical Homophobia, Protective Gaius (Merlin), Gaius is So Done (Merlin), Caught, Boys Kissing, almost smut but not quite, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Bad Lying, Top Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Bottom Merlin (Merlin) Series: Part 2 of the volume of merlin
Published: 2020-10-22
Words: 1034
Above and Beyond
Once again, Merlin sacrafices his life, for Arthur. Just this time, he dies. Broken hearted, Arthur finds use in the Horn of Cathbhadh, and sees Merlin's ghost again.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fanvids, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Canon Era, Alternate Universe - Canon, Sad, How Do I Tag, Protective Merlin, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2020-12-14
Words: 119
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 5
Kudos: 64
Bookmarks: 5
Hits: 2,503
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)
What Merlin Never Saw
Things Merlin would probably never know, from Arthur's POV.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Worried Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Smitten Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur's a confused mess, but he figures it out, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Kinda, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Published: 2020-11-11
Words: 4,399
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 19
Kudos: 1,224
Bookmarks: 92
Hits: 12,520
Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Melrin/Arthur, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, minor Gwen/Arthur Pendragon
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin)
of snow in hair and rings on their fingers
Merthur Week Day 1: “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.” + FluffArthur watched with fond amusement as Merlin’s arms pinwheeled and he tripped face-first into the snow.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Merthur Week 2020, Day 1, Day 1: “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.” + Fluff, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Snow, Background Relationships, background Gwen/Morgana - Freeform, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Court Sorcerer Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Everyone knows about Merlin's magic, Good Morgana (Merlin), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, this isn’t mentioned but it’s important to me that you know that
Language: English
Published: 2020-12-21
Words: 316
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 8
Kudos: 164
Bookmarks: 16
Hits: 1,187
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Long Live the King
Arthur, who doesn't know about Merlin's magic, hosts a tournament for his Court Sorcerer. Merlin is not jealous. No, why would he be? That's stupid. So what if the new Court Sorcerer seems to be kinda powerful? Also, power-hungry people suck. Like a lot.-or-Arthur knows but doesn't know. Merlin hates the new guy (with good reason). Arthur ignores Merlin. They're idiots.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Arthur Knows, but not completely, Jealous Merlin (Merlin), Magical Tournaments, Protective Merlin (Merlin), Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Smitten Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Pining Merlin (Merlin), Requited Unrequited Love, Angst, A bit of torture, Hurt/Comfort, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, no beta we die like men, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Blink and you'll miss Gwaine, Idiots in Love, slightly possessive Behavior, someone give Merlin a hug, i'm looking at u arthur
Language: English
Published: 2020-11-11
Words: 19,325
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 42
Kudos: 1,871
Bookmarks: 235
Hits: 24,406
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), minor Gwen/Arthur
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Original Characters
Summer Afternoons
“What are you hiding Merlin?” Arthur asked with raised eyebrows, though he was unable to stop the slight smirk on his face. Merlin jumped slightly as he turned around, looking surprised to find Arthur there.“What? Why would I be hiding anything?” Merlin replied as casually as he could, but Arthur knew him far too well to believe that.---Day 4 of merthurweek2020, “What are you hiding Merlin?” + Fun
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Established Relationship, Kind Of
Language: English
Published: 2020-12-25
Words: 533
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 90
Bookmarks: 5
Hits: 719
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Six Falls and a Confession
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Arthur figures out that he's in love with Merlin when he's 1 1. It takes him more than a decade to finally tell him. Or: Five times Arthur wants to tell Merlin and one time he does. Notes This fic really fought me at every turn; first I couldn't come up with an idea, and then I wasn't in the mood, and then when I actually sat down and to write it would only come out by heavy force. But I’ve written and posted an autumn inspired fic every year since 2017 and I wasn’ t about to stop now . You couldn’ t best me, fic. (I’m actually pretty happy with how it turned out, all struggles considered!) For those of you who aren’ t familiar with the English school system, students are 1 1/12 years old in year 7 and 16/17 in sixth form! Also big thanks to the best Joji-san for sensitivity beta-ing Merlin for me!<3 See the end of the work for more notes I. It’s early September and the days are not quite as warm as they’ve been. Arthur usually resents the coming of the cold, but this year he can’t help but grin when he pulls on his jacket over his school uniform. It’s not that he particularly likes the cold, but frigid and foggy mornings mean that the autumn term is finally starting and Arthur has looked forward to it since last semester ended. He loves the summer holidays and usually hates for them to end, but this year he hasn’ t been able to stop himself from wishing they would just be over already; he likes school well enough — he really likes learning about histor y and the sciences — but that’s not why he’s been almost bursting with excitement about going back. What’ s really been keeping him restless and eager the past few weeks has been the knowledge that with the start of the school term, comes meeting Merlin again. Arthur hasn’ t seen his best friend since the start of the summer , since Merlin has been away visiting family , and the summer has been dreadfully boring without him. Arthur is so excited to see him again he’s certain he’s been getting on his fathe r and sister ’s nerves with it — not that it stopped him from bouncing around the house this morning in his haste to get ready . And now, finally , he’s on his way to the first day of school for year seven. He’d be running if Morgana wasn’ t walking — like a snail because she’ s evil — with him. Arthur jumps up and down in his place on a pile of green leaves as he waits for her to catch up — she might as well crawl with how slowly she’ s walking. “Stop grinning like that,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “One would think you have a crush on him,” she adds and smirks. Arthur stops and scrunches his nose up. “I don’ t have a crush. Crushes are gross.” Morgana grins at him. “Sure, whatever . Just let me know if you need any help asking him to be your boyfriend,” she says as she walks past him. “I don’t want him to be my boyfrien d,” Arthur says with a frown as he falls into step with her. “I want him to be my friend.” “He can be both, you dummy ,” Mor gana tells him. “That’ s why it’ s called boy friend .” That makes Arthur pause in his steps, before he shakes his head and runs up to walk beside her again. “It’s a girl thing to have crushes,” he says. He knows Elena talked about having crushes on some of the boys in year seven when they were still in year six, but he’s never heard any of his boy friends say anything about crushes. “And I’m not a girl.” Morgana snorts. “Then why did Father marry your mother?” she retorts. Arthur frowns in thought. He supposes that’s true, but he’s never had a crush before! Why would he have one on Merlin ? Aren’ t boys supposed to have crushes on girls, anyway? “But Merlin’ s not a girl either ,” he says, and Morgana pats him patronising ly on the shoulder because she thinks she knows so much more than he does just because she’ s two years older . “Doesn’ t mean you can’t like him,” she says, and then she shoves him in old evil-sister - fashion, because apparently Arthur got so lost in his thoughts that he didn’ t notice they’d already reached the school. “See you later, brother!” she says, and then skips up the steps to meet her friends and leaves Arthur with a bunch of unanswered questions. Arthur frowns at her . Stupid Mor gana and her stupid friends. “Arthur!” He turns around at the sound of his name, grins widely when he spots Merlin — who is wrapped up in an oversized jacket and wears a neckerchief around his neck, even if it’ s barely below fifteen degrees outside, because he gets cold even when it’s not really all that chilly — and for gets all about crushes and Mor gana. He forgets it for a few hours, until lunch, when Merlin laughs loudly at Gwaine’ s stupid joke and Arthur ’s stomach flutters as if there are falling leaves or butterflies inside it. His eyes widen and he stops with his fork midway to his mouth. Maybe Morgana was right. Maybe he does want Merlin to be his boyfriend. For the rest of the day, Arthur can’t stop thinking about it, about how Merlin is kind of cute with his rosy cheeks and oversized jacket and clumsy boots, about how maybe Arthur wouldn’ t be so opposed to holding his hand, about how he would quite like to introduce Merlin as his ‘best friend and boyfriend’. Which means it’s become a thing that Arthur actually thinks might be true, which means that he has to tell Merlin about it, because they tell each other everything and Arthur isn’t about to start keeping secrets now. Only , he isn’t sure how to tell him. He’s not going to ask Morgana for help because she’s a witch who wants nothing but for Arthur to suffer, but who better to ask than his father , who is wise and smart and knows how everything works? So instead of going back to his room after dinner like he usually does, he follows his father to his office and stops outside it, rocking back and forth on his heels. His father’s office is dark mahogany and warm leather , and Arthur has always felt both intimidated and awed by it. “What is it, Arthur?” his father asks from his old leather chair , the evening paper in his hands. “Did everything go well at school today?” Arthur stops rocking on his feet and nods. “Y es, Father , it was fine,” he says. “I was, uhm..” “Hesitation is not a desirable or respectable trait, Arthur . You should know better ,” his father says, not looking up from the paper . Arthur swallows, and then squares his shoulders. “You know Merlin,” he says, and his father arches an eyebrow in acknowledgement. “W ell, I, uh- think I like him.” He means to go on, but his father looks up at him with a disapproving frow n that has Arthur snapping his mouth shut. “That’ s nonsense. Where did you get that idea?” he asks, and Arthur ’s shoulders hitch up just the slightest at the same time his stomach drops. “Uh- well, Mor gana said-“ His father scoffs. “Don’ t listen to your sister , she’s just trying to rile you up. You don’t like Merlin. Get that ridiculous notion out of your head. He’s a boy and so are you,” he states, returning his focus to the paper . “Now , was there anything else?” “Erm, no, uh, thank you,” Arthur says in a small voice. There’ s a lump in his throat and an uncomfortable feeling in his chest. His father dismisses him with a wave of his hand and Arthur quickly hurries to his room to bury himself under his duvet. Rain patters against his window . He suddenly feels very certain that he does have a crush on Merlin, and that he absolutely cannot tell him. II. The night air is chilly and wet, the late September rain filling the potholes in the road and leaving puddles on the pavement. The street lights flicker and the headlights of a passing car reflect in the pools of water , before the car drives through them and ruins it. There’ s a gale coming, the winds pulling at their clothes and nipping at their cheeks, the gloomy clouds rolling above their heads. Arthur blinks the wetness from his eyes and wipes the raindrop from his cheek and thinks that even the weather is miserable. He huddles into his worn hoodie in an attempt to stay warm, but even the heat from Merlin’ s leg pressed against his isn’t helping to stave off the early autumn chill. Arthur feels cold to the bone, and not just because of the wind that pushes cold air into the collar of his hoodie. They’ve started sixth form and it’s supposed to be exciting and fun and new, but all Arthur feels is lousy . “I don’t want you to leave,” he mutters into his collar . It’s quiet and petulant and just the slightest bit angry , and Arthur doesn’ t care. He is angry , angry at Merlin for just up and leaving him like this with next to no warning. Only a few weeks ago things were great and Arthur was excited to start this new part of his life, and then Merlin went and told him he’s moving and everything turned horrible. Merlin sighs next to him, wrapped up in his thick jacket and the wool scarf Arthur knows his mother knitted him for Christmas two years ago; Arthur has a matching one, red to Merlin’ s blue. His cheeks are rosy red from the cold and his eyes are sad, their blue almost black in the dark of the night. “Me neither ,” he mumbles, burying his chin further into his scarf. “But with Mum’ s health we need to be closer to family and we can’t exactly ask them all to come to London, now can we?” he says with a laugh, but it sounds hollow in the dim street. Arthur doesn’t answer, because there really isn’t anything he can say, is there? It’s not like Merlin has a choice and Arthur can’t exactly demand that he leave his mother while she’s sick, no matter how much he wants him to stay . Merlin sighs again, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “I’m going to miss it here,” he says. A smile pulls at his lips as he watches the wet street and the dark park on the other side of it. “Remember when we were ten and we climbed the big tree and I broke my arm?” he asks, the corners of his eyes scrunching up just the slightest. As if Arthur could forget; he’d gotten a right heart attack, seeing Merlin cry and clutch his arm to his chest in pain. “The scolding from Mum was almost worse than the pain,” Merlin contin ues with a laugh, and this one, at least, is real, if a little wet. He sniffles, grinning widely , and turns to Arthur . “But you were there the whole time — you wouldn’ t even leave the hospital. Told me stories about knights and sorcerers and drago ns to keep me distracted, and then you demanded that you got to write on my cast and you wrote your name so large no one else could fit theirs, like the self-entitled prat you are.” His smile softens into something a little sadder , and Arthur hates this so much. Hates saying goodbye. Doesn’ t even know if he knows how to. Merlin glances back at the clouds and the stars just starting to peek through them. “I’m going to miss you,” he says, quietly , and Arthur thinks about telling him, then. About the feelings he’s been pushing away since he was eleven and his father told him he wasn’ t allowed to have them. About the flutters and the want and the maybe-I’m-in-love-with-you. Because this is Merlin and if he can’t tell Merlin then who could he ever hope to tell? If he can’t share this secret with Merlin — this secret that’s overwhelming and large and scary — then he doesn’ t think he can share it with anyone, and he’s not sure he can live with that. And he doesn’ t know when — if — he’ll see Merlin again, so if not now , when? But the words are too heavy in his chest and too big to travel through his throat and Arthur is too afraid and swallows them back down. “I say good riddan ce,” he says instea d, knocking their shoulders together , because it’s easier than being vulnerable and he knows Merlin will get what he means anyway . Merlin grins at him, wet and sad and Arthur hates that he’s leaving. Hates that this is goodbye, even if neither of them actually says the word. “Prat.” III. Arthur and Merlin lose touch sometim e during the spring after Merlin leaves — because it’s difficult to keep in touch even when you really want to when you’re seventeen and everything around you is changing — and Arthur doesn’ t really expect for that to change. He certainly doesn’ t expect to find Merlin back in his life just a month into his first year at university , but here he is, sitting in the university library on a dark, wet Thursday evening in early October , when the leaves have just started to change colours into their bright yellows and vibra nt oranges and deep reds. And Merlin, dressed in a cozy, washe d out red sweater and taller and older than the Merlin that left, sits in front of him, typing away at his laptop. The librar y floor is silent besides the clacking of Merlin’ s keyboard and the occasional flip of a page from across the room where another group of students are sitting, their whispers quiet in the vast open space. It’s way too late to be studying, the world outside the windows dark save for the few streetlights strewn across campus. The rain patters agains t the glass and the occasional leaf falls past, illuminated by the lights from inside and the lamps outside. Arthur didn’t even know Merlin went to the same university as him until Gwen dragged Merlin along to their friend group’ s biweekly Sunday pub-quiz a few weeks ago and Merlin was promptly adopted into the group. Arthur didn’ t need the introduction Gwen gave, could have recognised Merlin anywhere, even when he was taller and older and just that much more pretty . And Merlin didn’ t seem to have any problem recognising him either , judging by the massive and heart-stopping grin he sent Arthur ’s way the moment their eyes met. Arthur thought he was over Merlin, he really did — not as a friend, because no number of years could ever remove how important Merlin has always been, but those nerve-wracking romantic feelings — and yet they’re there, right underneath his breastbone, humming and warm and as solid and real as they’d been the day he left Merlin on the steps to his building four years ago. And in the same way those feelings easily made their way back into Arthur ’s life, so did Merlin, and he’s made himself snug and comfortable as a constant presence that Arthur isn’t sure how he lived without for so long. Lance stretches beside Arthur , his bones cracking satisfyingly , and it reminds Arthur of just how long they’ve been sat here. “I think it’s time for me to head home,” he says, closing his laptop and tucking it into his bag. “I’m pretty sure I’ll do better on the midterms if I actually get some sleep in between study sessions.” Arthur huffs out a laugh and leans back in his chair . He still has an assignment that needs to be submitted by midnight, but he really would love to go back to his own crappy dorm bed. “Sleep is for the weak,” Merlin says, never taking his eyes of f his screen. Arthur and Lance share a look. Arthur shakes his head with a sigh. “I’ll follow you to the cafeteria,” he says and stands up. “I’m going to need cof fee if I want to survive another two hours of this.” “Oh, get me one, will you?” Merlin asks. He’ s still not looking up from his laptop. Arthur rolls his eyes at him. “I’d tell you to get one yourself but I don’t think even a natural disaster could get you to move,” he says. That, at least, gets Merlin to finally look up to grin at him. Lance chuckles, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder . “See you tomorrow , Merlin.” “See you tomorrow , Lance. Enjoy your sleep,” Merlin says and turns to grin at him. “I will,” Lance says. “Enjoy your studying.” “I won’ t.” “I’ll make sure he doesn’ t die,” Arthur says, clasping Lance on the shoulder as he walks past him towards the stairs. He doesn’ t miss Merlin poking his tongue out at him, but Arthur is clearly the more mature person here because he stops himself from poking his tongue out right back at him. Lance laughs as he follows him, the sound loud in the quiet space. “And who’ s going to make sure you don’ t?” Arthur grins. “Merlin, of course.” Lance chuckles. “It’ll be a pleasant surprise if I see either of you alive and awake in the morning, then,” he says and squeezes Arthur ’s shoulder . “Try to get some sleep at least.” “We will,” Arthur says as they stop by the small cof fee hub. “T ell Gwen I said hi.” “Will do. Goodnight, Arthur ,” Lance says with a smile. “Night,” Arthur says, waving him off as he leaves the library , and then steps up to the tired- looking student manning the cof fee. It’s only when he orders that he realises he doesn’ t know how Merlin likes his coffee. 16- year-old Merlin didn’ t drink coffee, and Arthur has only known 20-year -old Merlin for a few weeks. So he gets a vegan pumpkin spice latte for himself because he’s a basic bitch and it tastes good, and orders a large black coffee with just a bit of dairy-free-milk for Merlin and hopes it’ll do. That’ s how the Merlin he knew liked his tea. “One large dose of caffeine,” he says as he places the takeaway mug next to Merlin’ s scattered notes. “Oh my god, thank you,” Merlin says, moving the mug to his lips and taking a large gulp without so much as a wince. How he can drink it when it’s still scalding hot Arthur doesn’ t know , but he used to do that with hot chocolate and tea before too. “Oh, this is perfect. Thank you, Arthur ,” he says, grinning at Arthur with a brightness that rivals the bloody sun. Arthur hasn’ t seen Merlin in four years, and somehow it’s like no time has passed at all. He knows he doesn’ t really know this Merlin, this older version of him that has lived a life without Arthur , but he finds that he desperately wants to. Wants to know him in any way Merlin will let him, actually , and for a moment he wonders if this is the moment he should tell him. If it’s time to spill the secrets that are no longer held tightly against his chest but are still held close and only shared with a very select few. Maybe now, almost entirely alone on the third floor of the university library on a wet, dark evening in October , when they’re starting over and continuing on, is when he should let Merlin know how he feels. “Gosh I’m so happy to have you back in my life. I really missed you,” Merlin says, grin soft around the edges, hair tousled just so and looking warm and cozy and like everything Arthur thinks he could ever want. Arthur ’s lips twitch into a smile hidden behind his mug, the steam curling warm around his nose. “No one managed to take my place, then?” he says, and Merlin laughs. “No, you prat. No one’s ego is large enough,” he says. “But no, I’ve only ever had one best friend,” he adds, smile wide and happy and warm, and Arthur doesn’ t want to risk ruining that, or the second chance they’ve been given. So he smiles back and tucks the feelings into the pocket he kept them in for so long before, and says, “Me too.” IV. “Merlin, do you really think this is a good idea? You don’t think it’s a little too.. on the nose?” Arthur asks as he twists and turns in front of the body-length mirror in Merlin’ s flat. It’s not that he doesn’t think he looks good — the costume is very high quality and Arthur is going to have to wear it for every single costume party for the rest of his life with how much it cost — but it feels a little too ridiculous. They’ve been teased about this since they became friends in primary; is it really necessary to add fuel to the flame? “That’ s why it’ s so good!” Merlin calls from the bathroom. Arthur sighs. The things he does for him. “Are you nearly finished or are we going to be three hours late again?” “Yeah yeah, done in a second! This bloody beard doesn’ t want to stick,” Merlin says. “Need any help?” Arthur asks as he tightens the belt around his waist and pulls on his red cape. He grabs the small pink, purpl e, and blue dragon pin from Merlin’ s desk and fiddles with it. It’s his favourite pride pin, given to him by Merlin after he finally gathered up the courage to tell him that he likes people romantically and no one sexua lly, regardless of gender . It still scares him to wear it, despite the pride he feels. He wonders how long it’ll take before it stops making his stomach swoop anxiously , if it ever will stop. “No, all good!” Merlin says, and then he’s bouncing out from the bathroom and Arthur can’t help the loud laugh that escapes him. “You look absolutely ridiculous,” he says. “Remind me to never let you grow a beard.” Merlin pouts at him, and it makes him look even more bizarre in his red robes and long white fake beard and scraggly wig. He’ s even added wrinkles. “Who said Merlin the Wizard had to be old?” Arthur asks, still fiddling with the pin in his hands. “Maybe he was a fit young sorcerer .” Merlin rolls his eyes and steps forward, hands reaching to grab the pin from Arthur ’s hands. He hums as he removes the pin lock. “King Arthur ’s young lover , perhaps?” he says, glancing up briefly at Arthur before he returns his attention to fastening the pin to Arthur ’s cape. Arthur swallows. “W ell, history always did have a way of being pretty gay .” Merlin snorts. “You can say that again.” He finishes fastening the pin, runs his hands over the fabric of the cape, and then steps back. He grins at Arthur . “Now we match,” he says, tugging at his red robes and the bi-coloured butterfly and the non-binary he/him pins fastened on the left side of his chest. Arthur huf fs out a laugh, heart thudding in his chest. “You look great,” Merlin adds, giving him a once-over . “The Great King of Camelot.” “Thanks,” Arthur says, voice hoarse. He clears his throat. “Y ou look old.” Merlin rolls his eyes at him again, and really it fits his costume perfectly . “Prat.” “That’ s Your Royal Prat to you, Sorce rer,” Arthur says as he makes sure he has all his things and picks up Merli n’s phone before grabbing hold of Merlin’ s arm. “Now come on, the court awaits us.” Gwaine has really gone all out. His house is decked out with skeletons and ghosts and spider - web, a row of pumpkins that Arthur recognises from their annual pumpkin-carving competition litters his front porch, and the music blasting from the living room is nothing if not the Ghostbusters soundtrack. Gwaine himself is dressed in a leather costume that shows more skin than perhaps is socially acceptable but is entirely expected from him and a winged eyeliner that even Arthur is jealous of even if he very rarely wears makeup. No way the Playboy bunnies are getting all the fun, as Gwai ne said a few years ago when he wore a literal Playboy bunny outfit for Halloween. He’ s only outdone himself since. “Friends! You made it,” he calls when they walk through the door. “I’m loving the couple’ s costume,” he says with a wide grin. Arthur rolls his eyes at him and lets himself be pulled into a mostly naked hug. “Thanks. It was all Merlin’ s idea,” he says when Gwaine pulls Merlin into a similar hug. Gwaine grins at Merlin, slapping him on the shoulder . “Of course it was.” Merlin grins back at him proudly . His fake beard is already starting to peel, so Arthur pushes it back in place. “You want anything to drink?” Gwaine asks, motioning towards the kitchen that is only a little less crowded than the living room and the hall. Arthur shrugs. “Why not.” “I’m alright, thanks. I’m going to find Gwen! I promised her I’d show her my outfit as soon as I came,” Merlin says, waving them off and disappearing into the throng of people and further into the house. “Alright then, what can I offer you, Princess?” Gwaine asks as he leads Arthur into the kitchen. There are orange streamers hanging from the ceiling and the kitchen table is littered with an array of drinks and bottles. Arthur rolls his eyes again. “Honestly , anything’ s fine so long as it’s not deadly . I do have to attend lunch with my father and sister tomorrow , and as much as I think Morgana would love to see me hungover I don’t think Father would be too impressed,” he says, scowling when Gwaine grins at him. “Your daddy’s always been a stick in the mud,” he says, and Arthur scrunc hes his nose up at the choice of word , but can’t disagr ee with the rest. “I’m going to make you a potion of courage so you can finally get around to telling Merlin how you feel. You’ll only feel it a little in the morning , I promise,” he says with a smile that tells Arthur he’s definitely going to feel it more than a little. Arthur purses his lips and gives him an unimpressed glare, but doesn’ t stop him when Gwaine grabs a few of the bottles strewn across the table and starts pouring liquids of different colours into a glass. “Oh, come on, mate. You’ve been pining for him since primary school. Don’ t you think it’s about time?” Honestly Arthur doesn’ t know why he ever told Gwaine about his feelings for Merlin, but then he probably wasn’ t very sober when he did and it was definitely Gwaine and his scarily- tasty, very-alcoholic drinks’ fault. He raises an eyebrow when Gwaine drops a small, round item into his drink and holds it out to him. “And I’m perfectly fine pining until I die,” he says, taking the glass and watching the fake eye bob up and down in the colourful drink. He gives Gwaine a skeptical look before taking a sip. “Oh my god,” he says, making a face. It’ s way too strong and tastes way too good. “What the hell did you put in this?” Gwaine just grins at him and slaps him on the shoulder . “Just think about it,” he says, before slipping out of the kitchen. Arthur doesn’ t tell him that he has thought about it, multiple times. He takes another sip from the drink and grimaces again. God he’s not having any more to drink after this one. Arthur has thought about it, more times than he can count, really , has been close to telling Merlin a handful of times too. And yet, Gwaine’ s words make him think about it again, because honestly he isn’t sure he really is fine pining until the day he dies. He loves being friends with Merlin more than anything and if that’ s what they’re always going to be then that is more than fine with him, but he’s not sure he could go his entire life not knowing if that’s what Merlin wants or if their relationship could be something else. It’s probably the ridiculous amount of alcohol in the drink Gwaine made, but he’s feeling a little daring tonight. He won’ t ever know what Merlin feels if he never asks, right? So he spends almost half an hour walking through Gwaine’ s house trying to find Merlin somewhere in the crowd of witches and superheroes and pirates and ghosts, with little success. But he’ s made up his mind now , and like hell he’ s going to chicken out. It’s only when he goes outside into the cold night air that he spots him in the corner of the garden, face softly illuminated by the string of yellow lights hanging in the red and orange trees. He’s sitting, rather close, too, and laughing with a girl — Freya, Arthur thinks, from one of Merlin’ s nerdy societies. They’re turned towards each other , knees touching and smiles on their faces, caught in conve rsation. They look like they’ve forgotten the rest of the world exists, as if there’ s only the two of them, and Arthur ’s stomach drops. He guesses he wasn’ t meant to tell Merlin today either . He’s just about to turn around and go back inside when Merlin spots him. Merlin turns and grins at him, and Arthur , in turn, just gives him an awkward wave. Merlin turns back to Freya, saying something that has her smiling widely and nodding, and then he ducks in to leave a lingering kiss on her cheek before standing up and making his way towards Arthur . He doesn’ t take his eyes off her until he’s reached him, and Arthur supposes there’ s no need to ask. It’ s plenty obvious what Merlin feels. So, instead, he forces a grin and wiggles his eyebrows when Merlin finally looks at him. Merlin just laughs, cheeks dusted red, and punches him in the arm. V. The tube is crowded, with people packed shoulder to shoulder in the aisles and groups of friends squeezed too many into a row of seats. Arthur is tucked — more like wedged, really — between Merlin and Percival, the rest of their friends crammed in around them. There’ s really no use in trying to follow any of the conversations happening around him with the loud noise of the train and the laughter and chatter filling the car from all directions, and it’s much too tight to get a hold of his phone, so Arthur settles with staring off into the space in front of him. Which happens to hold a glum looking Merlin. It’s not very cold on the tube — the body temperature of all eight hundre d or so people are doing wonders against the early November cold — but Merlin is wrapped up in his usual blue scarf, chin tucked into it, and huddled into a thick rust red jacket. The dark grey wool beanie he’s wear ing has a small cat with a red neckerchief on the brim, his dark hair curling around it. He’s clearly trying to follow whatev er conversation Morgana, Leon, Lance, and Gwen are having on the other side of Percival, but Arthur can barely hear them so he figures Merlin isn’t much better off. He knows why he’s trying though, knows why there’s a small frown pulling at his brow and why there’ s a tired set to his shoulders and bags under his eyes. Arthur wishes he could help, wishes he could cheer him up, get him out of his own head and forget about Freya for a moment, but he’s shit at these things. What do you tell someone who’ s just been broken up with by their year-long girlfriend? Merlin really liked Freya, probably even loved her; what do you say to someone who’ s gotten their heart broken? Arthur isn’t sure he’d want anyone to say anything reassuring to him at all, honestly . It’s all empty words, anyway . So he doesn’ t say anything reassuring. Instead, he says, “Your face is going to get stuck if you keep frowning like that,” because he’ s an idiot. Merlin rolls his eyes at him, but the frown loosens up just the slightest, so Arthur takes it as a win. “You’re one to speak, with how you brood half the time. You’re going to get wrinkles,” Merlin retorts. Arthur gapes at him, af fronted. “I don’ t brood!” Merlin snorts. He squeezes his hand up between them and runs his thumb over Arthur ’s forehead. “Then what’ s this, Mr. Sunshine?” he says, and Arthur immediately tries to relax the scowl he’d barely noticed. “I’m a delight, thank you very much.” Merlin huffs out a laugh, and it’s a little happier , at least. Instead of trying to pull his arm down to his side again, he simply lets it rest against Arthur ’s chest, hand steady on his shoulder . Arthur wonders if Merlin can feel his heart beating loudly in his chest. “You’re about as delightful as the flu,” Merlin tells him. Arthur can’t help himself, and smirks, wiggling his eyebrows. “What, getting you all hot and bothered?” he asks, and Merlin lets out a loud, startled laugh. Warmth fills Arthur ’s chest at the look Merlin gives him, his eyes twinkling with mirth. He hasn’ t seen Merlin smile so widely in weeks. He grins crookedly back at him. “You wish,” Merlin says, and becaus e their proximity means he can’t punch Arthur in the arm like he usually would, he resorts to pinching his neck lightly . Arthur complains out loud, and wonders silently if he should admit that yes, he kind of does. “This station is W ood Gr een,” the announcement sounds over the intercom, and as soon as the tube stops almost the entire car fills out into the station. And from there it’s a rush of bodies and excitement and street food and drinks, watching the large bonfire get lit and its fire grow , yelling more than speaking the rhyme, and cheering over the morbid tradition of watching a man made of straw be set on fire. It’s fun and pleasant and the drinks are warm where the night is cold, and they’re all bundled together as close to the fire as they can get. Arthur stands next to Merlin, a cup of hot apple cider in his hands, watchin g from the corner of his eye as Merlin stares absentmindedly into the fire. The light of the bonfire casts shadows and a yellow glow across his face that makes him look ethereal. The quiet content in his eyes has Arthu r’s heart aching in his chest, because Merlin deserves this always, to feel content and happy and cherished. Merlin deserves to know that someone loves him, now more than ever , when he feels broken and unloveable. It’s their final year, and while Arthur doesn’ t think he could let go of Merl in again so easily , they’re graduating soon and life takes turns you don’t expect it to. He might not get another chance, might not gather up the courage again before it’ s too late. “Merlin,” he starts, and Merlin turns to him with a hum, eyes softly crinkled at the corners. His cheeks are a little rosy from the nipping wind, but he looks warm and comfortable and Arthur is so ridiculously in love. Arthur opens his mouth to continue — to tell him, finally — but that’s when the first firework goes off and the world is lit with a wonderful array of colours. Merlin turns his head with a surprised laugh to watch the display in the night sky, but Arthur pays more attention to the way the colours illuminate Merlin’ s face and how they reflect in his wide, awestruck eyes. Merlin’ s face is lit up in delight by the time the colours fade. He turns to Arthur with a blinding smile, and Arthur swallows. Because he can’t risk taking this away from him, not now, not for such selfish reasons as his own. “What were you going to say?” Merlin asks, and Arthur shakes his head. There’ll be another time, a time when Merlin isn’t heart broken and his eyes don’t reflect the night sky, when Arthur can form the words instead of just wanting to stare at him in awe. “Nothing,” he says. “Just… glad you’re here.” Merlin beams at him and bumps their shoulders. He doesn’ t pull away afterwards. “Me too.” + I. It’s a cold, wet Saturday in late Novem ber. The air is cold and the trees are bare, and the day has been lovely , the air crisp and the sky blue — up until about an hour ago. Then lunchtime came around and so did the dark clouds hanging heavy over Arthur ’s head, and of course it would start pouring down the mome nt he stepped out from the safety of the under ground station. As he rushes through the streets in the rain he’s eternally grateful that he had the foresight to bring a raincoat and that Merlin decided on meeting for a coffee rather than the walk he first suggested. A bell jingles as he pushes the door to The Round Table open and steps inside, coat dripping water onto the floor despite the short trip from the station to the café. He pulls the hood down and unzips the coat as he glances around the small and cozy space. It’s of little surprise that Merlin is nowhere to be seen; he does have a penchant for being late. Arthur decides to order while he waits, and scans over the menus above the bar. They’re all changed from their autumn and Halloween specials to limited winter and Christmas drinks, and the shelves are lined with yule logs, Christmas puddings, and fruity mince pies amongst their usual pastries and cakes. The only thing that’s missing, really , is the Christmas decoration and All I Want For Christmas Is You playing from the speakers, but Arthur figures it’s probably only a matter of days. He doesn ’t dislike Christmas per se, but he doesn’ t usually try to get himself into the Christmas spirit until December 1st, so he’s happy to see they still offer their autumn assortment. He orders a vegan caramel and hazelnut latte and a black coffee with a splash of dairy-free milk and a pinch of cinnam on. Just as he’s about to pay he throws in one of the gingerbread muffins too because he can’t help himself. It’s only a week until December , anyway . He’s just sat down with the drinks and the pastry when the bell above the door jingles again, a mop of wet, dark hair and dark blue eyes looking around until they spot him. Merlin grins widely and makes his way through the café. The corner of Arthur ’s mouth tugs up just the slightest. “Sorry I’m late!” Merlin says when he reaches him, and he does at least have the decency to look like he means it. “I forgot my umbrella at home and was hoping I could wait out the rain at the station,” he says as he shrugs off his wet coat and hangs it over the chair in front of Arthur . His hair is dripping water onto his dark green sweater and his cheeks are flushed a bright red from the cold. Arthur rolls his eyes good heartedly . “Only you, Merlin.” “That’ s not true!” Merlin exclaims, ruffling his hair and successfully splattering water droplets everywhere. “The forecast didn’ t say anything about a downpour!” “It did say it was going to rain,” Arthur points out. Merlin rolls his eyes as he steps aroun d the table. “It didn’ t say it was going to rain this much . Clotpole,” he says, and then he bends down and pulls Arthur into a tight, warm — if a little wet — hug. “I missed you.” Arthur wraps his arms around Merlin’ s back and hugs him back just as tightly . It’s only been a few months, and it’s not like they haven’ t talked, but between internships and work and Merlin being away as part of his graduate position, they’ve barely had any time to meet since graduation. And Arthur has missed him something fiercely . “We talked yesterday ,” he says, just to be an arse, and Merlin huffs out a laugh and hugs him just a little tighter . Arthur grins. “I missed you too.” Merlin squeezes him one more time and then he pulls back, plopping into his chair and pulling his waiting cup of coffee towards him. He takes a sip and hums satisfied, his lips pulling into a grin. The corners of it are soft and warm. “So, what ’s happened in your life? I want to know everything,” he says, leaning his elbows against the table. Arthur huffs out a laugh and takes a sip from his own warm drink. “You already know everything,” he says. “Nothing new has happened in the last eighteen hours, surprisingly enough.” Merlin just continues to grin at him. “How was the Halloween party?” “Good,” Arthur says. “Gwaine and Percy fell into the pool and Leon had to pull them out. They were both grounded and forced to spend the rest of the night sobering up in Gwaine’ s bathroom,” he tells him with a chuck le. “And Gwen looked so gorgeous in her costume we all thought Lance was going to get down and propose any second.” He grins. “Although I think he’ s probably got something a little more special planned.” Merlin chuckles. “Maybe not the most romantic situation when people are dressed up in outfits ranging from nothing to absolute absurdity and everyone is well beyond drunk. Good choice, Lance.” “I’m pretty sure Gwen would say yes if he proposed in a dumpster , to be fair .” Merlin laughs, warm and happy . “Yeah, she would.” “My costume wasn’ t nearly as good without my sorcerer , though,” Arthur says, and Merlin smiles widely . “I’m sure the mighty King Arthur is just as striking without him,” he says. Arthur shrugs. “Maybe,” he says, hiding his smile behind his cup. “But he definitely felt like something was missing.” Merlin’ s bright eyes crinkle at the corners. “I guess his sorcerer will have to make sure to show up next time, then,” he says. “I’m holding you to that,” Arthur says, giving him a pointed look. “So, how was Manchester? Seemed like you had a lot of fun.” Merlin’ s entire face lights up. “I did! It was so interesting to finally see everything I’ve learnt actually be used in practice, you know?” he says, and then he goes on a ramble about everything he saw in the three months he was away , everyone he met, all the things he got to do. Arthur has already heard more than half of this, but he has only heard it over the phone and through video calls with poor connection, and he’ll never mind hearing Merlin speak, no matter how many times he has to hear the same thing. A little distance and four months apart and the feelings in Arthur ’s chest haven’ t diminished in the slightest. At this point he figures they probably never will. “-and Sefa has promised to come here just before Christmas; we were thinking of heading up to Edinbur gh for the Christmas market. I’m just really excited to see her again, even if we saw each other a few weeks ago,” Merlin says with a laugh. He speaks about her a lot, Sefa, and it’ s clear he likes her . Arthur just isn’ t sure in which way . So he raises his eyebrow suggestively , and Merlin’ s quick to wave him of f. “No, it’s nothing like that,” he says with a chuckle. “We’re friends, and I’m pretty sure she and Daegal have something going on,” he adds and grins. Arthur nods in understanding, but frowns when Merlin gives him a funny look. “How about you?” Merlin asks, averting his eyes and grabbing one of the forks on the table. He pokes at the gingerbread muffin. “Mithian seems nice,” he says, and there’ s a strange tilt to his voice. And sure, Mithian is nice. Quite lovely , actually , and Arthur could see something happening between them, if he wasn’ t so damn gone on the person sitting in front of him. And so, this time, Arthur doesn’ t hesitate, doesn’ t stop himself or let himself back down. This time, he lets the words he’s wanted to say for so long roll off his tongue with an ease that really isn’ t all that surprising. “She is,” Merlin’ s lips tug up into something that is probably supposed to be a smile but looks more like a grimace, “but I’m far too busy pining over my best friend for the nth year in a row to really consider it.” It feels not so scary and very relievin g, to finally share the secret he never wanted to keep to begin with. Merlin snaps his head up to stare at him with wide eyes and Arthur rolls his eyes at him. “Oh come on, you can’ t be that oblivious.” Merlin huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. “No. I just wasn’ t expecting you to actually admit it,” he says, and Arthur frowns at him. “I’ve been waiting for you to say something since we were fifteen.” Arthur balks. “Why did you wait for me to say something? If you knew , why didn’ t you say so?” Merlin shrugs, shoving a piece of muffin into his mouth. “I didn’ t want to force you to share something you weren’ t ready for, or feel like you were obligated to do anything about it. I know your dad isn’ t…” he grimaces, “the most approving.” Arthur snorts. “No shit. But seriously , since year ten?” he asks, and Merlin nods. Arthur huffs out a laugh, and leans back in his chair . “Guess all my anxiety about telling you was pretty unnecessary .” Merlin gives him a soft smile. “Y ou never needed to be anxious.” “I know ,” Arthur says with a sigh. “I’ve wanted you to know since I figured it out, but it always came up at bad times or something came in the way and ruined the moment,” he says. Merlin laughs. “But at a café on a random, miserable Saturday afternoon fit the bill?” he asks, mirth in his eyes. Arthur pushes down his own grin and shrugs. “Figured it was as good a day as any .” “Say it again,” Merlin says, leaning forward in his chair , his lips stretching wide as he smiles. Arthur rolls his eyes at him, but he feels his smile tug at his own cheeks. “I love you.” “I know that,” Merlin says with laughter in his voice. “Say the other thing,” he tells him. Arthur huf fs out a breath of a laugh and moves forwards so he’ s also leaning over the table. “I’m in love with you,” he says, holding Merlin’ s gaze. He doesn’ t bother fighting the smile anymore. “Have been since I was eleven.” Merlin grins, wide and bright and warm, and then he ducks forward and his lips catch Arthur ’s in a kiss that tastes like cinnamon and coffee and caramel. It is new and exciting just the same as it feels entirely natural, like something Arthur has done a hundred times before, something he’ll do hundreds and hundreds of times again. “Good,” Merlin says when he pulls away . “Because I’m in love with you too and I’d really like to add ‘boyfriend’ to the list of things I refer to you as in my head.” Arthur runs a thumb over Merlin’ s cheekbone and raises an eyebrow . He probably shouldn’ t ask, but he can’ t help himself. “Oh? And what other names do you have on that list?” “Clotpoll. Prat. Best friend. Ass. Arthur . Cabbagehead. Love of my life. Dollophead.” He laughs and kisses Merlin again. “Wouldn’ t be a complete list without boyfriend on there, would it?” Merlin grins at him again, bright and warm enough to rival the sun. “No, no it wouldn’ t.” End Notes Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Find me on tumblr and twitter ! Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated! 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Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive W arning: No Archive W arnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV) Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Background & Cameo Characters, Lancelot (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin) Additional T ags: Modern Era, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, 5+1 Things, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Good Mor gana (Merlin), or well not if you ask 1 1y/o arthur, Light Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, It's Uther, uther is the homophobe, no surprise there, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Time Skips, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Getting Together, Alcohol, Food, both of those are just lightly mentioned, Autumn, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Guy Fawkes Night, Bonfires, Fireworks, Minor Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Minor Freya/Merlin (Merlin), Alternate Universe - College/University, kind of, Bisexual Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Bisexual Merlin (Merlin), Asexual Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Nonbinary Merlin (Merlin), he/him pronouns for merlin, both of these are only mentioned in passing but i want it known anyway, Minor Mor gana & Arthur, Minor Arthur & Merlin & Lancelot, Minor Arthur & Merlin & Gwaine, biromantic arthur pendragon, Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) Language: English Stats: Published: 2021-1 1-18 Words: 7, 842 Chapters: 1/1 Six Falls and a Confession by a_written_dream Summary Arthur figures out that he's in love with Merlin when he's 1 1. It takes him more than a decade to finally tell him. Or: Five times Arthur wants to tell Merlin and one time he does. Notes This fic really fought me at every turn; first I couldn't come up with an idea, and then I wasn't in the mood, and then when I actually sat down and to write it would only come out by heavy force. But I’ve written and posted an autumn inspired fic every year since 2017 and I wasn’ t about to stop now . You couldn’ t best me, fic. (I’m actually pretty happy with how it turned out, all struggles considered!) For those of you who aren’ t familiar with the English school system, students are 1 1/12 years old in year 7 and 16/17 in sixth form! Also big thanks to the best Joji-san for sensitivity beta-ing Merlin for me!<3 See the end of the work for more notes I. It’s early September and the days are not quite as warm as they’ve been. Arthur usually resents the coming of the cold, but this year he can’t help but grin when he pulls on his jacket over his school uniform. It’s not that he particularly likes the cold, but frigid and foggy mornings mean that the autumn term is finally starting and Arthur has looked forward to it since last semester ended. He loves the summer holidays and usually hates for them to end, but this year he hasn’ t been able to stop himself from wishing they would just be over already; he likes school well enough — he really likes learning about histor y and the sciences — but that’s not why he’s been almost bursting with excitement about going back. What’ s really been keeping him restless and eager the past few weeks has been the knowledge that with the start of the school term, comes meeting Merlin again. Arthur hasn’ t seen his best friend since the start of the summer, since Merlin has been away visiting family, and the summer has been dreadfully boring without him. Arthur is so excited to see him again he’s certain he’s been getting on his fathe r and sister ’s nerves with it — not that it stopped him from bouncing around the house this morning in his haste to get ready . And now, finally, he’s on his way to the first day of school for year seven. He’d be running if Morgana wasn’ t walking — like a snail because she’ s evil — with him. Arthur jumps up and down in his place on a pile of green leaves as he waits for her to catch up — she might as well crawl with how slowly she’ s walking. “Stop grinning like that, ” she says with a roll of her eyes. “One would think you have a crush on him, ” she adds and smirks. Arthur stops and scrunches his nose up. “I don’ t have a crush. Crushes are gross.” Morgana grins at him. “Sure, whatever . Just let me know if you need any help asking him to be your boyfriend, ” she says as she walks past him. “I don’t want him to be my boyfrien d, ” Arthur says with a frown as he falls into step with her. “I want him to be my friend.” “He can be both, you dummy, ” Mor gana tells him. “That’ s why it’ s called boy friend .” That makes Arthur pause in his steps, before he shakes his head and runs up to walk beside her again. “It’s a girl thing to have crushes, ” he says. He knows Elena talked about having crushes on some of the boys in year seven when they were still in year six, but he’s never heard any of his boy friends say anything about crushes. “And I’m not a girl.” Morgana snorts. “Then why did Father marry your mother?” she retorts. Arthur frowns in thought. He supposes that’s true, but he’s never had a crush before! Why would he have one on Merlin ? Aren’ t boys supposed to have crushes on girls, anyway? “But Merlin’ s not a girl either, ” he says, and Morgana pats him patronising ly on the shoulder because she thinks she knows so much more than he does just because she’ s two years older . “Doesn’ t mean you can’t like him, ” she says, and then she shoves him in old evil-sister - fashion, because apparently Arthur got so lost in his thoughts that he didn’ t notice they’d already reached the school. “See you later, brother!” she says, and then skips up the steps to meet her friends and leaves Arthur with a bunch of unanswered questions. Arthur frowns at her . Stupid Mor gana and her stupid friends. “Arthur!” He turns around at the sound of his name, grins widely when he spots Merlin — who is wrapped up in an oversized jacket and wears a neckerchief around his neck, even if it’ s barely below fifteen degrees outside, because he gets cold even when it’s not really all that chilly — and for gets all about crushes and Mor gana. He forgets it for a few hours, until lunch, when Merlin laughs loudly at Gwaine’ s stupid joke and Arthur ’s stomach flutters as if there are falling leaves or butterflies inside it. His eyes widen and he stops with his fork midway to his mouth. Maybe Morgana was right. Maybe he does want Merlin to be his boyfriend. For the rest of the day, Arthur can’t stop thinking about it, about how Merlin is kind of cute with his rosy cheeks and oversized jacket and clumsy boots, about how maybe Arthur wouldn’ t be so opposed to holding his hand, about how he would quite like to introduce Merlin as his ‘best friend and boyfriend’. Which means it’s become a thing that Arthur actually thinks might be true, which means that he has to tell Merlin about it, because they tell each other everything and Arthur isn’t about to start keeping secrets now. Only, he isn’t sure how to tell him. He’s not going to ask Morgana for help because she’s a witch who wants nothing but for Arthur to suffer, but who better to ask than his father, who is wise and smart and knows how everything works? So instead of going back to his room after dinner like he usually does, he follows his father to his office and stops outside it, rocking back and forth on his heels. His father’s office is dark mahogany and warm leather, and Arthur has always felt both intimidated and awed by it. “What is it, Arthur?” his father asks from his old leather chair, the evening paper in his hands. “Did everything go well at school today?” Arthur stops rocking on his feet and nods. “Y es, Father, it was fine, ” he says. “I was, uhm..” “Hesitation is not a desirable or respectable trait, Arthur . You should know better, ” his father says, not looking up from the paper . Arthur swallows, and then squares his shoulders. “You know Merlin, ” he says, and his father arches an eyebrow in acknowledgement. “W ell, I, uh- think I like him.” He means to go on, but his father looks up at him with a disapproving frow n that has Arthur snapping his mouth shut. “That’ s nonsense. Where did you get that idea?” he asks, and Arthur ’s shoulders hitch up just the slightest at the same time his stomach drops. “Uh- well, Mor gana said-“ His father scoffs. “Don’ t listen to your sister, she’s just trying to rile you up. You don’t like Merlin. Get that ridiculous notion out of your head. He’s a boy and so are you, ” he states, returning his focus to the paper . “Now, was there anything else?” “Erm, no, uh, thank you, ” Arthur says in a small voice. There’ s a lump in his throat and an uncomfortable feeling in his chest. His father dismisses him with a wave of his hand and Arthur quickly hurries to his room to bury himself under his duvet. Rain patters against his window . He suddenly feels very certain that he does have a crush on Merlin, and that he absolutely cannot tell him. II. The night air is chilly and wet, the late September rain filling the potholes in the road and leaving puddles on the pavement. The street lights flicker and the headlights of a passing car reflect in the pools of water, before the car drives through them and ruins it. There’ s a gale coming, the winds pulling at their clothes and nipping at their cheeks, the gloomy clouds rolling above their heads. Arthur blinks the wetness from his eyes and wipes the raindrop from his cheek and thinks that even the weather is miserable. He huddles into his worn hoodie in an attempt to stay warm, but even the heat from Merlin’ s leg pressed against his isn’t helping to stave off the early autumn chill. Arthur feels cold to the bone, and not just because of the wind that pushes cold air into the collar of his hoodie. They’ve started sixth form and it’s supposed to be exciting and fun and new, but all Arthur feels is lousy . “I don’t want you to leave, ” he mutters into his collar . It’s quiet and petulant and just the slightest bit angry, and Arthur doesn’ t care. He is angry, angry at Merlin for just up and leaving him like this with next to no warning. Only a few weeks ago things were great and Arthur was excited to start this new part of his life, and then Merlin went and told him he’s moving and everything turned horrible. Merlin sighs next to him, wrapped up in his thick jacket and the wool scarf Arthur knows his mother knitted him for Christmas two years ago; Arthur has a matching one, red to Merlin’ s blue. His cheeks are rosy red from the cold and his eyes are sad, their blue almost black in the dark of the night. “Me neither, ” he mumbles, burying his chin further into his scarf. “But with Mum’ s health we need to be closer to family and we can’t exactly ask them all to come to London, now can we?” he says with a laugh, but it sounds hollow in the dim street. Arthur doesn’t answer, because there really isn’t anything he can say, is there? It’s not like Merlin has a choice and Arthur can’t exactly demand that he leave his mother while she’s sick, no matter how much he wants him to stay . Merlin sighs again, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “I’m going to miss it here, ” he says. A smile pulls at his lips as he watches the wet street and the dark park on the other side of it. “Remember when we were ten and we climbed the big tree and I broke my arm?” he asks, the corners of his eyes scrunching up just the slightest. As if Arthur could forget; he’d gotten a right heart attack, seeing Merlin cry and clutch his arm to his chest in pain. “The scolding from Mum was almost worse than the pain, ” Merlin contin ues with a laugh, and this one, at least, is real, if a little wet. He sniffles, grinning widely, and turns to Arthur . “But you were there the whole time — you wouldn’ t even leave the hospital. Told me stories about knights and sorcerers and drago ns to keep me distracted, and then you demanded that you got to write on my cast and you wrote your name so large no one else could fit theirs, like the self-entitled prat you are.” His smile softens into something a little sadder, and Arthur hates this so much. Hates saying goodbye. Doesn’ t even know if he knows how to. Merlin glances back at the clouds and the stars just starting to peek through them. “I’m going to miss you, ” he says, quietly, and Arthur thinks about telling him, then. About the feelings he’s been pushing away since he was eleven and his father told him he wasn’ t allowed to have them. About the flutters and the want and the maybe-I’m-in-love-with-you. Because this is Merlin and if he can’t tell Merlin then who could he ever hope to tell? If he can’t share this secret with Merlin — this secret that’s overwhelming and large and scary — then he doesn’ t think he can share it with anyone, and he’s not sure he can live with that. And he doesn’ t know when — if — he’ll see Merlin again, so if not now, when? But the words are too heavy in his chest and too big to travel through his throat and Arthur is too afraid and swallows them back down. “I say good riddan ce, ” he says instea d, knocking their shoulders together, because it’s easier than being vulnerable and he knows Merlin will get what he means anyway . Merlin grins at him, wet and sad and Arthur hates that he’s leaving. Hates that this is goodbye, even if neither of them actually says the word. “Prat.” III. Arthur and Merlin lose touch sometim e during the spring after Merlin leaves — because it’s difficult to keep in touch even when you really want to when you’re seventeen and everything around you is changing — and Arthur doesn’ t really expect for that to change. He certainly doesn’ t expect to find Merlin back in his life just a month into his first year at university, but here he is, sitting in the university library on a dark, wet Thursday evening in early October, when the leaves have just started to change colours into their bright yellows and vibra nt oranges and deep reds. And Merlin, dressed in a cozy, washe d out red sweater and taller and older than the Merlin that left, sits in front of him, typing away at his laptop. The librar y floor is silent besides the clacking of Merlin’ s keyboard and the occasional flip of a page from across the room where another group of students are sitting, their whispers quiet in the vast open space. It’s way too late to be studying, the world outside the windows dark save for the few streetlights strewn across campus. The rain patters agains t the glass and the occasional leaf falls past, illuminated by the lights from inside and the lamps outside. Arthur didn’t even know Merlin went to the same university as him until Gwen dragged Merlin along to their friend group’ s biweekly Sunday pub-quiz a few weeks ago and Merlin was promptly adopted into the group. Arthur didn’ t need the introduction Gwen gave, could have recognised Merlin anywhere, even when he was taller and older and just that much more pretty . And Merlin didn’ t seem to have any problem recognising him either, judging by the massive and heart-stopping grin he sent Arthur ’s way the moment their eyes met. Arthur thought he was over Merlin, he really did — not as a friend, because no number of years could ever remove how important Merlin has always been, but those nerve-wracking romantic feelings — and yet they’re there, right underneath his breastbone, humming and warm and as solid and real as they’d been the day he left Merlin on the steps to his building four years ago. And in the same way those feelings easily made their way back into Arthur ’s life, so did Merlin, and he’s made himself snug and comfortable as a constant presence that Arthur isn’t sure how he lived without for so long. Lance stretches beside Arthur, his bones cracking satisfyingly, and it reminds Arthur of just how long they’ve been sat here. “I think it’s time for me to head home, ” he says, closing his laptop and tucking it into his bag. “I’m pretty sure I’ll do better on the midterms if I actually get some sleep in between study sessions.” Arthur huffs out a laugh and leans back in his chair . He still has an assignment that needs to be submitted by midnight, but he really would love to go back to his own crappy dorm bed. “Sleep is for the weak, ” Merlin says, never taking his eyes of f his screen. Arthur and Lance share a look. Arthur shakes his head with a sigh. “I’ll follow you to the cafeteria, ” he says and stands up. “I’m going to need cof fee if I want to survive another two hours of this.” “Oh, get me one, will you?” Merlin asks. He’ s still not looking up from his laptop. Arthur rolls his eyes at him. “I’d tell you to get one yourself but I don’t think even a natural disaster could get you to move, ” he says. That, at least, gets Merlin to finally look up to grin at him. Lance chuckles, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder . “See you tomorrow, Merlin.” “See you tomorrow, Lance. Enjoy your sleep, ” Merlin says and turns to grin at him. “I will, ” Lance says. “Enjoy your studying.” “I won’ t.” “I’ll make sure he doesn’ t die, ” Arthur says, clasping Lance on the shoulder as he walks past him towards the stairs. He doesn’ t miss Merlin poking his tongue out at him, but Arthur is clearly the more mature person here because he stops himself from poking his tongue out right back at him. Lance laughs as he follows him, the sound loud in the quiet space. “And who’ s going to make sure you don’ t?” Arthur grins. “Merlin, of course.” Lance chuckles. “It’ll be a pleasant surprise if I see either of you alive and awake in the morning, then, ” he says and squeezes Arthur ’s shoulder . “Try to get some sleep at least.” “We will, ” Arthur says as they stop by the small cof fee hub. “T ell Gwen I said hi.” “Will do. Goodnight, Arthur, ” Lance says with a smile. “Night, ” Arthur says, waving him off as he leaves the library, and then steps up to the tired- looking student manning the cof fee. It’s only when he orders that he realises he doesn’ t know how Merlin likes his coffee. 16- year-old Merlin didn’ t drink coffee, and Arthur has only known 20-year -old Merlin for a few weeks. So he gets a vegan pumpkin spice latte for himself because he’s a basic bitch and it tastes good, and orders a large black coffee with just a bit of dairy-free-milk for Merlin and hopes it’ll do. That’ s how the Merlin he knew liked his tea. “One large dose of caffeine, ” he says as he places the takeaway mug next to Merlin’ s scattered notes. “Oh my god, thank you, ” Merlin says, moving the mug to his lips and taking a large gulp without so much as a wince. How he can drink it when it’s still scalding hot Arthur doesn’ t know, but he used to do that with hot chocolate and tea before too. “Oh, this is perfect. Thank you, Arthur, ” he says, grinning at Arthur with a brightness that rivals the bloody sun. Arthur hasn’ t seen Merlin in four years, and somehow it’s like no time has passed at all. He knows he doesn’ t really know this Merlin, this older version of him that has lived a life without Arthur, but he finds that he desperately wants to. Wants to know him in any way Merlin will let him, actually, and for a moment he wonders if this is the moment he should tell him. If it’s time to spill the secrets that are no longer held tightly against his chest but are still held close and only shared with a very select few. Maybe now, almost entirely alone on the third floor of the university library on a wet, dark evening in October, when they’re starting over and continuing on, is when he should let Merlin know how he feels. “Gosh I’m so happy to have you back in my life. I really missed you, ” Merlin says, grin soft around the edges, hair tousled just so and looking warm and cozy and like everything Arthur thinks he could ever want. Arthur ’s lips twitch into a smile hidden behind his mug, the steam curling warm around his nose. “No one managed to take my place, then?” he says, and Merlin laughs. “No, you prat. No one’s ego is large enough, ” he says. “But no, I’ve only ever had one best friend, ” he adds, smile wide and happy and warm, and Arthur doesn’ t want to risk ruining that, or the second chance they’ve been given. So he smiles back and tucks the feelings into the pocket he kept them in for so long before, and says, “Me too.” IV. “Merlin, do you really think this is a good idea? You don’t think it’s a little too.. on the nose?” Arthur asks as he twists and turns in front of the body-length mirror in Merlin’ s flat. It’s not that he doesn’t think he looks good — the costume is very high quality and Arthur is going to have to wear it for every single costume party for the rest of his life with how much it cost — but it feels a little too ridiculous. They’ve been teased about this since they became friends in primary; is it really necessary to add fuel to the flame? “That’ s why it’ s so good!” Merlin calls from the bathroom. Arthur sighs. The things he does for him. “Are you nearly finished or are we going to be three hours late again?” “Yeah yeah, done in a second! This bloody beard doesn’ t want to stick, ” Merlin says. “Need any help?” Arthur asks as he tightens the belt around his waist and pulls on his red cape. He grabs the small pink, purpl e, and blue dragon pin from Merlin’ s desk and fiddles with it. It’s his favourite pride pin, given to him by Merlin after he finally gathered up the courage to tell him that he likes people romantically and no one sexua lly, regardless of gender . It still scares him to wear it, despite the pride he feels. He wonders how long it’ll take before it stops making his stomach swoop anxiously, if it ever will stop. “No, all good!” Merlin says, and then he’s bouncing out from the bathroom and Arthur can’t help the loud laugh that escapes him. “You look absolutely ridiculous, ” he says. “Remind me to never let you grow a beard.” Merlin pouts at him, and it makes him look even more bizarre in his red robes and long white fake beard and scraggly wig. He’ s even added wrinkles. “Who said Merlin the Wizard had to be old?” Arthur asks, still fiddling with the pin in his hands. “Maybe he was a fit young sorcerer .” Merlin rolls his eyes and steps forward, hands reaching to grab the pin from Arthur ’s hands. He hums as he removes the pin lock. “King Arthur ’s young lover, perhaps?” he says, glancing up briefly at Arthur before he returns his attention to fastening the pin to Arthur ’s cape. Arthur swallows. “W ell, history always did have a way of being pretty gay .” Merlin snorts. “You can say that again.” He finishes fastening the pin, runs his hands over the fabric of the cape, and then steps back. He grins at Arthur . “Now we match, ” he says, tugging at his red robes and the bi-coloured butterfly and the non-binary he/him pins fastened on the left side of his chest. Arthur huf fs out a laugh, heart thudding in his chest. “You look great, ” Merlin adds, giving him a once-over . “The Great King of Camelot.” “Thanks, ” Arthur says, voice hoarse. He clears his throat. “Y ou look old.” Merlin rolls his eyes at him again, and really it fits his costume perfectly . “Prat.” “That’ s Your Royal Prat to you, Sorce rer, ” Arthur says as he makes sure he has all his things and picks up Merli n’s phone before grabbing hold of Merlin’ s arm. “Now come on, the court awaits us.” Gwaine has really gone all out. His house is decked out with skeletons and ghosts and spider - web, a row of pumpkins that Arthur recognises from their annual pumpkin-carving competition litters his front porch, and the music blasting from the living room is nothing if not the Ghostbusters soundtrack. Gwaine himself is dressed in a leather costume that shows more skin than perhaps is socially acceptable but is entirely expected from him and a winged eyeliner that even Arthur is jealous of even if he very rarely wears makeup. No way the Playboy bunnies are getting all the fun, as Gwai ne said a few years ago when he wore a literal Playboy bunny outfit for Halloween. He’ s only outdone himself since. “Friends! You made it, ” he calls when they walk through the door. “I’m loving the couple’ s costume, ” he says with a wide grin. Arthur rolls his eyes at him and lets himself be pulled into a mostly naked hug. “Thanks. It was all Merlin’ s idea, ” he says when Gwaine pulls Merlin into a similar hug. Gwaine grins at Merlin, slapping him on the shoulder . “Of course it was.” Merlin grins back at him proudly . His fake beard is already starting to peel, so Arthur pushes it back in place. “You want anything to drink?” Gwaine asks, motioning towards the kitchen that is only a little less crowded than the living room and the hall. Arthur shrugs. “Why not.” “I’m alright, thanks. I’m going to find Gwen! I promised her I’d show her my outfit as soon as I came, ” Merlin says, waving them off and disappearing into the throng of people and further into the house. “Alright then, what can I offer you, Princess?” Gwaine asks as he leads Arthur into the kitchen. There are orange streamers hanging from the ceiling and the kitchen table is littered with an array of drinks and bottles. Arthur rolls his eyes again. “Honestly, anything’ s fine so long as it’s not deadly . I do have to attend lunch with my father and sister tomorrow, and as much as I think Morgana would love to see me hungover I don’t think Father would be too impressed, ” he says, scowling when Gwaine grins at him. “Your daddy’s always been a stick in the mud, ” he says, and Arthur scrunc hes his nose up at the choice of word, but can’t disagr ee with the rest. “I’m going to make you a potion of courage so you can finally get around to telling Merlin how you feel. You’ll only feel it a little in the morning, I promise, ” he says with a smile that tells Arthur he’s definitely going to feel it more than a little. Arthur purses his lips and gives him an unimpressed glare, but doesn’ t stop him when Gwaine grabs a few of the bottles strewn across the table and starts pouring liquids of different colours into a glass. “Oh, come on, mate. You’ve been pining for him since primary school. Don’ t you think it’s about time?” Honestly Arthur doesn’ t know why he ever told Gwaine about his feelings for Merlin, but then he probably wasn’ t very sober when he did and it was definitely Gwaine and his scarily- tasty, very-alcoholic drinks’ fault. He raises an eyebrow when Gwaine drops a small, round item into his drink and holds it out to him. “And I’m perfectly fine pining until I die, ” he says, taking the glass and watching the fake eye bob up and down in the colourful drink. He gives Gwaine a skeptical look before taking a sip. “Oh my god, ” he says, making a face. It’ s way too strong and tastes way too good. “What the hell did you put in this?” Gwaine just grins at him and slaps him on the shoulder . “Just think about it, ” he says, before slipping out of the kitchen. Arthur doesn’ t tell him that he has thought about it, multiple times. He takes another sip from the drink and grimaces again. God he’s not having any more to drink after this one. Arthur has thought about it, more times than he can count, really, has been close to telling Merlin a handful of times too. And yet, Gwaine’ s words make him think about it again, because honestly he isn’t sure he really is fine pining until the day he dies. He loves being friends with Merlin more than anything and if that’ s what they’re always going to be then that is more than fine with him, but he’s not sure he could go his entire life not knowing if that’s what Merlin wants or if their relationship could be something else. It’s probably the ridiculous amount of alcohol in the drink Gwaine made, but he’s feeling a little daring tonight. He won’ t ever know what Merlin feels if he never asks, right? So he spends almost half an hour walking through Gwaine’ s house trying to find Merlin somewhere in the crowd of witches and superheroes and pirates and ghosts, with little success. But he’ s made up his mind now, and like hell he’ s going to chicken out. It’s only when he goes outside into the cold night air that he spots him in the corner of the garden, face softly illuminated by the string of yellow lights hanging in the red and orange trees. He’s sitting, rather close, too, and laughing with a girl — Freya, Arthur thinks, from one of Merlin’ s nerdy societies. They’re turned towards each other, knees touching and smiles on their faces, caught in conve rsation. They look like they’ve forgotten the rest of the world exists, as if there’ s only the two of them, and Arthur ’s stomach drops. He guesses he wasn’ t meant to tell Merlin today either . He’s just about to turn around and go back inside when Merlin spots him. Merlin turns and grins at him, and Arthur, in turn, just gives him an awkward wave. Merlin turns back to Freya, saying something that has her smiling widely and nodding, and then he ducks in to leave a lingering kiss on her cheek before standing up and making his way towards Arthur . He doesn’ t take his eyes off her until he’s reached him, and Arthur supposes there’ s no need to ask. It’ s plenty obvious what Merlin feels. So, instead, he forces a grin and wiggles his eyebrows when Merlin finally looks at him. Merlin just laughs, cheeks dusted red, and punches him in the arm. V. The tube is crowded, with people packed shoulder to shoulder in the aisles and groups of friends squeezed too many into a row of seats. Arthur is tucked — more like wedged, really — between Merlin and Percival, the rest of their friends crammed in around them. There’ s really no use in trying to follow any of the conversations happening around him with the loud noise of the train and the laughter and chatter filling the car from all directions, and it’s much too tight to get a hold of his phone, so Arthur settles with staring off into the space in front of him. Which happens to hold a glum looking Merlin. It’s not very cold on the tube — the body temperature of all eight hundre d or so people are doing wonders against the early November cold — but Merlin is wrapped up in his usual blue scarf, chin tucked into it, and huddled into a thick rust red jacket. The dark grey wool beanie he’s wear ing has a small cat with a red neckerchief on the brim, his dark hair curling around it. He’s clearly trying to follow whatev er conversation Morgana, Leon, Lance, and Gwen are having on the other side of Percival, but Arthur can barely hear them so he figures Merlin isn’t much better off. He knows why he’s trying though, knows why there’s a small frown pulling at his brow and why there’ s a tired set to his shoulders and bags under his eyes. Arthur wishes he could help, wishes he could cheer him up, get him out of his own head and forget about Freya for a moment, but he’s shit at these things. What do you tell someone who’ s just been broken up with by their year-long girlfriend? Merlin really liked Freya, probably even loved her; what do you say to someone who’ s gotten their heart broken? Arthur isn’t sure he’d want anyone to say anything reassuring to him at all, honestly . It’s all empty words, anyway . So he doesn’ t say anything reassuring. Instead, he says, “Your face is going to get stuck if you keep frowning like that, ” because he’ s an idiot. Merlin rolls his eyes at him, but the frown loosens up just the slightest, so Arthur takes it as a win. “You’re one to speak, with how you brood half the time. You’re going to get wrinkles, ” Merlin retorts. Arthur gapes at him, af fronted. “I don’ t brood!” Merlin snorts. He squeezes his hand up between them and runs his thumb over Arthur ’s forehead. “Then what’ s this, Mr. Sunshine?” he says, and Arthur immediately tries to relax the scowl he’d barely noticed. “I’m a delight, thank you very much.” Merlin huffs out a laugh, and it’s a little happier, at least. Instead of trying to pull his arm down to his side again, he simply lets it rest against Arthur ’s chest, hand steady on his shoulder . Arthur wonders if Merlin can feel his heart beating loudly in his chest. “You’re about as delightful as the flu, ” Merlin tells him. Arthur can’t help himself, and smirks, wiggling his eyebrows. “What, getting you all hot and bothered?” he asks, and Merlin lets out a loud, startled laugh. Warmth fills Arthur ’s chest at the look Merlin gives him, his eyes twinkling with mirth. He hasn’ t seen Merlin smile so widely in weeks. He grins crookedly back at him. “You wish, ” Merlin says, and becaus e their proximity means he can’t punch Arthur in the arm like he usually would, he resorts to pinching his neck lightly . Arthur complains out loud, and wonders silently if he should admit that yes, he kind of does. “This station is W ood Gr een, ” the announcement sounds over the intercom, and as soon as the tube stops almost the entire car fills out into the station. And from there it’s a rush of bodies and excitement and street food and drinks, watching the large bonfire get lit and its fire grow, yelling more than speaking the rhyme, and cheering over the morbid tradition of watching a man made of straw be set on fire. It’s fun and pleasant and the drinks are warm where the night is cold, and they’re all bundled together as close to the fire as they can get. Arthur stands next to Merlin, a cup of hot apple cider in his hands, watchin g from the corner of his eye as Merlin stares absentmindedly into the fire. The light of the bonfire casts shadows and a yellow glow across his face that makes him look ethereal. The quiet content in his eyes has Arthu r’s heart aching in his chest, because Merlin deserves this always, to feel content and happy and cherished. Merlin deserves to know that someone loves him, now more than ever, when he feels broken and unloveable. It’s their final year, and while Arthur doesn’ t think he could let go of Merl in again so easily, they’re graduating soon and life takes turns you don’t expect it to. He might not get another chance, might not gather up the courage again before it’ s too late. “Merlin, ” he starts, and Merlin turns to him with a hum, eyes softly crinkled at the corners. His cheeks are a little rosy from the nipping wind, but he looks warm and comfortable and Arthur is so ridiculously in love. Arthur opens his mouth to continue — to tell him, finally — but that’s when the first firework goes off and the world is lit with a wonderful array of colours. Merlin turns his head with a surprised laugh to watch the display in the night sky, but Arthur pays more attention to the way the colours illuminate Merlin’ s face and how they reflect in his wide, awestruck eyes. Merlin’ s face is lit up in delight by the time the colours fade. He turns to Arthur with a blinding smile, and Arthur swallows. Because he can’t risk taking this away from him, not now, not for such selfish reasons as his own. “What were you going to say?” Merlin asks, and Arthur shakes his head. There’ll be another time, a time when Merlin isn’t heart broken and his eyes don’t reflect the night sky, when Arthur can form the words instead of just wanting to stare at him in awe. “Nothing, ” he says. “Just… glad you’re here.” Merlin beams at him and bumps their shoulders. He doesn’ t pull away afterwards. “Me too.” + I. It’s a cold, wet Saturday in late Novem ber. The air is cold and the trees are bare, and the day has been lovely, the air crisp and the sky blue — up until about an hour ago. Then lunchtime came around and so did the dark clouds hanging heavy over Arthur ’s head, and of course it would start pouring down the mome nt he stepped out from the safety of the under ground station. As he rushes through the streets in the rain he’s eternally grateful that he had the foresight to bring a raincoat and that Merlin decided on meeting for a coffee rather than the walk he first suggested. A bell jingles as he pushes the door to The Round Table open and steps inside, coat dripping water onto the floor despite the short trip from the station to the café. He pulls the hood down and unzips the coat as he glances around the small and cozy space. It’s of little surprise that Merlin is nowhere to be seen; he does have a penchant for being late. Arthur decides to order while he waits, and scans over the menus above the bar. They’re all changed from their autumn and Halloween specials to limited winter and Christmas drinks, and the shelves are lined with yule logs, Christmas puddings, and fruity mince pies amongst their usual pastries and cakes. The only thing that’s missing, really, is the Christmas decoration and All I Want For Christmas Is You playing from the speakers, but Arthur figures it’s probably only a matter of days. He doesn ’t dislike Christmas per se, but he doesn’ t usually try to get himself into the Christmas spirit until December 1st, so he’s happy to see they still offer their autumn assortment. He orders a vegan caramel and hazelnut latte and a black coffee with a splash of dairy-free milk and a pinch of cinnam on. Just as he’s about to pay he throws in one of the gingerbread muffins too because he can’t help himself. It’s only a week until December, anyway . He’s just sat down with the drinks and the pastry when the bell above the door jingles again, a mop of wet, dark hair and dark blue eyes looking around until they spot him. Merlin grins widely and makes his way through the café. The corner of Arthur ’s mouth tugs up just the slightest. “Sorry I’m late!” Merlin says when he reaches him, and he does at least have the decency to look like he means it. “I forgot my umbrella at home and was hoping I could wait out the rain at the station, ” he says as he shrugs off his wet coat and hangs it over the chair in front of Arthur . His hair is dripping water onto his dark green sweater and his cheeks are flushed a bright red from the cold. Arthur rolls his eyes good heartedly . “Only you, Merlin.” “That’ s not true!” Merlin exclaims, ruffling his hair and successfully splattering water droplets everywhere. “The forecast didn’ t say anything about a downpour!” “It did say it was going to rain, ” Arthur points out. Merlin rolls his eyes as he steps aroun d the table. “It didn’ t say it was going to rain this much . Clotpole, ” he says, and then he bends down and pulls Arthur into a tight, warm — if a little wet — hug. “I missed you.” Arthur wraps his arms around Merlin’ s back and hugs him back just as tightly . It’s only been a few months, and it’s not like they haven’ t talked, but between internships and work and Merlin being away as part of his graduate position, they’ve barely had any time to meet since graduation. And Arthur has missed him something fiercely . “We talked yesterday, ” he says, just to be an arse, and Merlin huffs out a laugh and hugs him just a little tighter . Arthur grins. “I missed you too.” Merlin squeezes him one more time and then he pulls back, plopping into his chair and pulling his waiting cup of coffee towards him. He takes a sip and hums satisfied, his lips pulling into a grin. The corners of it are soft and warm. “So, what ’s happened in your life? I want to know everything, ” he says, leaning his elbows against the table. Arthur huffs out a laugh and takes a sip from his own warm drink. “You already know everything, ” he says. “Nothing new has happened in the last eighteen hours, surprisingly enough.” Merlin just continues to grin at him. “How was the Halloween party?” “Good, ” Arthur says. “Gwaine and Percy fell into the pool and Leon had to pull them out. They were both grounded and forced to spend the rest of the night sobering up in Gwaine’ s bathroom, ” he tells him with a chuck le. “And Gwen looked so gorgeous in her costume we all thought Lance was going to get down and propose any second.” He grins. “Although I think he’ s probably got something a little more special planned.” Merlin chuckles. “Maybe not the most romantic situation when people are dressed up in outfits ranging from nothing to absolute absurdity and everyone is well beyond drunk. Good choice, Lance.” “I’m pretty sure Gwen would say yes if he proposed in a dumpster, to be fair .” Merlin laughs, warm and happy . “Yeah, she would.” “My costume wasn’ t nearly as good without my sorcerer, though, ” Arthur says, and Merlin smiles widely . “I’m sure the mighty King Arthur is just as striking without him, ” he says. Arthur shrugs. “Maybe, ” he says, hiding his smile behind his cup. “But he definitely felt like something was missing.” Merlin’ s bright eyes crinkle at the corners. “I guess his sorcerer will have to make sure to show up next time, then, ” he says. “I’m holding you to that, ” Arthur says, giving him a pointed look. “So, how was Manchester? Seemed like you had a lot of fun.” Merlin’ s entire face lights up. “I did! It was so interesting to finally see everything I’ve learnt actually be used in practice, you know?” he says, and then he goes on a ramble about everything he saw in the three months he was away, everyone he met, all the things he got to do. Arthur has already heard more than half of this, but he has only heard it over the phone and through video calls with poor connection, and he’ll never mind hearing Merlin speak, no matter how many times he has to hear the same thing. A little distance and four months apart and the feelings in Arthur ’s chest haven’ t diminished in the slightest. At this point he figures they probably never will. “-and Sefa has promised to come here just before Christmas; we were thinking of heading up to Edinbur gh for the Christmas market. I’m just really excited to see her again, even if we saw each other a few weeks ago, ” Merlin says with a laugh. He speaks about her a lot, Sefa, and it’ s clear he likes her . Arthur just isn’ t sure in which way . So he raises his eyebrow suggestively, and Merlin’ s quick to wave him of f. “No, it’s nothing like that, ” he says with a chuckle. “We’re friends, and I’m pretty sure she and Daegal have something going on, ” he adds and grins. Arthur nods in understanding, but frowns when Merlin gives him a funny look. “How about you?” Merlin asks, averting his eyes and grabbing one of the forks on the table. He pokes at the gingerbread muffin. “Mithian seems nice, ” he says, and there’ s a strange tilt to his voice. And sure, Mithian is nice. Quite lovely, actually, and Arthur could see something happening between them, if he wasn’ t so damn gone on the person sitting in front of him. And so, this time, Arthur doesn’ t hesitate, doesn’ t stop himself or let himself back down. This time, he lets the words he’s wanted to say for so long roll off his tongue with an ease that really isn’ t all that surprising. “She is, ” Merlin’ s lips tug up into something that is probably supposed to be a smile but looks more like a grimace, “but I’m far too busy pining over my best friend for the nth year in a row to really consider it.” It feels not so scary and very relievin g, to finally share the secret he never wanted to keep to begin with. Merlin snaps his head up to stare at him with wide eyes and Arthur rolls his eyes at him. “Oh come on, you can’ t be that oblivious.” Merlin huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. “No. I just wasn’ t expecting you to actually admit it, ” he says, and Arthur frowns at him. “I’ve been waiting for you to say something since we were fifteen.” Arthur balks. “Why did you wait for me to say something? If you knew, why didn’ t you say so?” Merlin shrugs, shoving a piece of muffin into his mouth. “I didn’ t want to force you to share something you weren’ t ready for, or feel like you were obligated to do anything about it. I know your dad isn’ t…” he grimaces, “the most approving.” Arthur snorts. “No shit. But seriously, since year ten?” he asks, and Merlin nods. Arthur huffs out a laugh, and leans back in his chair . “Guess all my anxiety about telling you was pretty unnecessary .” Merlin gives him a soft smile. “Y ou never needed to be anxious.” “I know, ” Arthur says with a sigh. “I’ve wanted you to know since I figured it out, but it always came up at bad times or something came in the way and ruined the moment, ” he says. Merlin laughs. “But at a café on a random, miserable Saturday afternoon fit the bill?” he asks, mirth in his eyes. Arthur pushes down his own grin and shrugs. “Figured it was as good a day as any .” “Say it again, ” Merlin says, leaning forward in his chair, his lips stretching wide as he smiles. Arthur rolls his eyes at him, but he feels his smile tug at his own cheeks. “I love you.” “I know that, ” Merlin says with laughter in his voice. “Say the other thing, ” he tells him. Arthur huf fs out a breath of a laugh and moves forwards so he’ s also leaning over the table. “I’m in love with you, ” he says, holding Merlin’ s gaze. He doesn’ t bother fighting the smile anymore. “Have been since I was eleven.” Merlin grins, wide and bright and warm, and then he ducks forward and his lips catch Arthur ’s in a kiss that tastes like cinnamon and coffee and caramel. It is new and exciting just the same as it feels entirely natural, like something Arthur has done a hundred times before, something he’ll do hundreds and hundreds of times again. “Good, ” Merlin says when he pulls away . “Because I’m in love with you too and I’d really like to add ‘boyfriend’ to the list of things I refer to you as in my head.” Arthur runs a thumb over Merlin’ s cheekbone and raises an eyebrow . He probably shouldn’ t ask, but he can’ t help himself. “Oh? And what other names do you have on that list?” “Clotpoll. Prat. Best friend. Ass. Arthur . Cabbagehead. Love of my life. Dollophead.” He laughs and kisses Merlin again. “Wouldn’ t be a complete list without boyfriend on there, would it?” Merlin grins at him again, bright and warm enough to rival the sun. “No, no it wouldn’ t.” End Notes Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Find me on tumblr and twitter ! Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated! 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Language: English
Published: 2021-1 1-18 Words: 7,842 Chapters: 1/1 Six Falls and a Confession by a_written_dream Summary Arthur figures out that he's in love with Merlin when he's 1 1. It takes him more than a decade to finally tell him. Or: Five times Arthur wants to tell Merlin and one time he does. Notes This fic really fought me at every turn; first I couldn't come up with an idea, and then I wasn't in the mood, and then when I actually sat down and to write it would only come out by heavy force. But I’ve written and posted an autumn inspired fic every year since 2017 and I wasn’ t about to stop now . You couldn’ t best me, fic. (I’m actually pretty happy with how it turned out, all struggles considered!) For those of you who aren’ t familiar with the English school system, students are 1 1/12 years old in year 7 and 16/17 in sixth form! Also big thanks to the best Joji-san for sensitivity beta-ing Merlin for me!<3 See the end of the work for more notes I. It’s early September and the days are not quite as warm as they’ve been. Arthur usually resents the coming of the cold, but this year he can’t help but grin when he pulls on his jacket over his school uniform. It’s not that he particularly likes the cold, but frigid and foggy mornings mean that the autumn term is finally starting and Arthur has looked forward to it since last semester ended. He loves the summer holidays and usually hates for them to end, but this year he hasn’ t been able to stop himself from wishing they would just be over already; he likes school well enough — he really likes learning about histor y and the sciences — but that’s not why he’s been almost bursting with excitement about going back. What’ s really been keeping him restless and eager the past few weeks has been the knowledge that with the start of the school term, comes meeting Merlin again. Arthur hasn’ t seen his best friend since the start of the summer , since Merlin has been away visiting family , and the summer has been dreadfully boring without him. Arthur is so excited to see him again he’s certain he’s been getting on his fathe r and sister ’s nerves with it — not that it stopped him from bouncing around the house this morning in his haste to get ready . And now, finally , he’s on his way to the first day of school for year seven. He’d be running if Morgana wasn’ t walking — like a snail because she’ s evil — with him. Arthur jumps up and down in his place on a pile of green leaves as he waits for her to catch up — she might as well crawl with how slowly she’ s walking. “Stop grinning like that,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “One would think you have a crush on him,” she adds and smirks. Arthur stops and scrunches his nose up. “I don’ t have a crush. Crushes are gross.” Morgana grins at him. “Sure, whatever . Just let me know if you need any help asking him to be your boyfriend,” she says as she walks past him. “I don’t want him to be my boyfrien d,” Arthur says with a frown as he falls into step with her. “I want him to be my friend.” “He can be both, you dummy ,” Mor gana tells him. “That’ s why it’ s called boy friend .” That makes Arthur pause in his steps, before he shakes his head and runs up to walk beside her again. “It’s a girl thing to have crushes,” he says. He knows Elena talked about having crushes on some of the boys in year seven when they were still in year six, but he’s never heard any of his boy friends say anything about crushes. “And I’m not a girl.” Morgana snorts. “Then why did Father marry your mother?” she retorts. Arthur frowns in thought. He supposes that’s true, but he’s never had a crush before! Why would he have one on Merlin ? Aren’ t boys supposed to have crushes on girls, anyway? “But Merlin’ s not a girl either ,” he says, and Morgana pats him patronising ly on the shoulder because she thinks she knows so much more than he does just because she’ s two years older . “Doesn’ t mean you can’t like him,” she says, and then she shoves him in old evil-sister - fashion, because apparently Arthur got so lost in his thoughts that he didn’ t notice they’d already reached the school. “See you later, brother!” she says, and then skips up the steps to meet her friends and leaves Arthur with a bunch of unanswered questions. Arthur frowns at her . Stupid Mor gana and her stupid friends. “Arthur!” He turns around at the sound of his name, grins widely when he spots Merlin — who is wrapped up in an oversized jacket and wears a neckerchief around his neck, even if it’ s barely below fifteen degrees outside, because he gets cold even when it’s not really all that chilly — and for gets all about crushes and Mor gana. He forgets it for a few hours, until lunch, when Merlin laughs loudly at Gwaine’ s stupid joke and Arthur ’s stomach flutters as if there are falling leaves or butterflies inside it. His eyes widen and he stops with his fork midway to his mouth. Maybe Morgana was right. Maybe he does want Merlin to be his boyfriend. For the rest of the day, Arthur can’t stop thinking about it, about how Merlin is kind of cute with his rosy cheeks and oversized jacket and clumsy boots, about how maybe Arthur wouldn’ t be so opposed to holding his hand, about how he would quite like to introduce Merlin as his ‘best friend and boyfriend’. Which means it’s become a thing that Arthur actually thinks might be true, which means that he has to tell Merlin about it, because they tell each other everything and Arthur isn’t about to start keeping secrets now. Only , he isn’t sure how to tell him. He’s not going to ask Morgana for help because she’s a witch who wants nothing but for Arthur to suffer, but who better to ask than his father , who is wise and smart and knows how everything works? So instead of going back to his room after dinner like he usually does, he follows his father to his office and stops outside it, rocking back and forth on his heels. His father’s office is dark mahogany and warm leather , and Arthur has always felt both intimidated and awed by it. “What is it, Arthur?” his father asks from his old leather chair , the evening paper in his hands. “Did everything go well at school today?” Arthur stops rocking on his feet and nods. “Y es, Father , it was fine,” he says. “I was, uhm..” “Hesitation is not a desirable or respectable trait, Arthur . You should know better ,” his father says, not looking up from the paper . Arthur swallows, and then squares his shoulders. “You know Merlin,” he says, and his father arches an eyebrow in acknowledgement. “W ell, I, uh- think I like him.” He means to go on, but his father looks up at him with a disapproving frow n that has Arthur snapping his mouth shut. “That’ s nonsense. Where did you get that idea?” he asks, and Arthur ’s shoulders hitch up just the slightest at the same time his stomach drops. “Uh- well, Mor gana said-“ His father scoffs. “Don’ t listen to your sister , she’s just trying to rile you up. You don’t like Merlin. Get that ridiculous notion out of your head. He’s a boy and so are you,” he states, returning his focus to the paper . “Now , was there anything else?” “Erm, no, uh, thank you,” Arthur says in a small voice. There’ s a lump in his throat and an uncomfortable feeling in his chest. His father dismisses him with a wave of his hand and Arthur quickly hurries to his room to bury himself under his duvet. Rain patters against his window . He suddenly feels very certain that he does have a crush on Merlin, and that he absolutely cannot tell him. II. The night air is chilly and wet, the late September rain filling the potholes in the road and leaving puddles on the pavement. The street lights flicker and the headlights of a passing car reflect in the pools of water , before the car drives through them and ruins it. There’ s a gale coming, the winds pulling at their clothes and nipping at their cheeks, the gloomy clouds rolling above their heads. Arthur blinks the wetness from his eyes and wipes the raindrop from his cheek and thinks that even the weather is miserable. He huddles into his worn hoodie in an attempt to stay warm, but even the heat from Merlin’ s leg pressed against his isn’t helping to stave off the early autumn chill. Arthur feels cold to the bone, and not just because of the wind that pushes cold air into the collar of his hoodie. They’ve started sixth form and it’s supposed to be exciting and fun and new, but all Arthur feels is lousy . “I don’t want you to leave,” he mutters into his collar . It’s quiet and petulant and just the slightest bit angry , and Arthur doesn’ t care. He is angry , angry at Merlin for just up and leaving him like this with next to no warning. Only a few weeks ago things were great and Arthur was excited to start this new part of his life, and then Merlin went and told him he’s moving and everything turned horrible. Merlin sighs next to him, wrapped up in his thick jacket and the wool scarf Arthur knows his mother knitted him for Christmas two years ago; Arthur has a matching one, red to Merlin’ s blue. His cheeks are rosy red from the cold and his eyes are sad, their blue almost black in the dark of the night. “Me neither ,” he mumbles, burying his chin further into his scarf. “But with Mum’ s health we need to be closer to family and we can’t exactly ask them all to come to London, now can we?” he says with a laugh, but it sounds hollow in the dim street. Arthur doesn’t answer, because there really isn’t anything he can say, is there? It’s not like Merlin has a choice and Arthur can’t exactly demand that he leave his mother while she’s sick, no matter how much he wants him to stay . Merlin sighs again, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “I’m going to miss it here,” he says. A smile pulls at his lips as he watches the wet street and the dark park on the other side of it. “Remember when we were ten and we climbed the big tree and I broke my arm?” he asks, the corners of his eyes scrunching up just the slightest. As if Arthur could forget; he’d gotten a right heart attack, seeing Merlin cry and clutch his arm to his chest in pain. “The scolding from Mum was almost worse than the pain,” Merlin contin ues with a laugh, and this one, at least, is real, if a little wet. He sniffles, grinning widely , and turns to Arthur . “But you were there the whole time — you wouldn’ t even leave the hospital. Told me stories about knights and sorcerers and drago ns to keep me distracted, and then you demanded that you got to write on my cast and you wrote your name so large no one else could fit theirs, like the self-entitled prat you are.” His smile softens into something a little sadder , and Arthur hates this so much. Hates saying goodbye. Doesn’ t even know if he knows how to. Merlin glances back at the clouds and the stars just starting to peek through them. “I’m going to miss you,” he says, quietly , and Arthur thinks about telling him, then. About the feelings he’s been pushing away since he was eleven and his father told him he wasn’ t allowed to have them. About the flutters and the want and the maybe-I’m-in-love-with-you. Because this is Merlin and if he can’t tell Merlin then who could he ever hope to tell? If he can’t share this secret with Merlin — this secret that’s overwhelming and large and scary — then he doesn’ t think he can share it with anyone, and he’s not sure he can live with that. And he doesn’ t know when — if — he’ll see Merlin again, so if not now , when? But the words are too heavy in his chest and too big to travel through his throat and Arthur is too afraid and swallows them back down. “I say good riddan ce,” he says instea d, knocking their shoulders together , because it’s easier than being vulnerable and he knows Merlin will get what he means anyway . Merlin grins at him, wet and sad and Arthur hates that he’s leaving. Hates that this is goodbye, even if neither of them actually says the word. “Prat.” III. Arthur and Merlin lose touch sometim e during the spring after Merlin leaves — because it’s difficult to keep in touch even when you really want to when you’re seventeen and everything around you is changing — and Arthur doesn’ t really expect for that to change. He certainly doesn’ t expect to find Merlin back in his life just a month into his first year at university , but here he is, sitting in the university library on a dark, wet Thursday evening in early October , when the leaves have just started to change colours into their bright yellows and vibra nt oranges and deep reds. And Merlin, dressed in a cozy, washe d out red sweater and taller and older than the Merlin that left, sits in front of him, typing away at his laptop. The librar y floor is silent besides the clacking of Merlin’ s keyboard and the occasional flip of a page from across the room where another group of students are sitting, their whispers quiet in the vast open space. It’s way too late to be studying, the world outside the windows dark save for the few streetlights strewn across campus. The rain patters agains t the glass and the occasional leaf falls past, illuminated by the lights from inside and the lamps outside. Arthur didn’t even know Merlin went to the same university as him until Gwen dragged Merlin along to their friend group’ s biweekly Sunday pub-quiz a few weeks ago and Merlin was promptly adopted into the group. Arthur didn’ t need the introduction Gwen gave, could have recognised Merlin anywhere, even when he was taller and older and just that much more pretty . And Merlin didn’ t seem to have any problem recognising him either , judging by the massive and heart-stopping grin he sent Arthur ’s way the moment their eyes met. Arthur thought he was over Merlin, he really did — not as a friend, because no number of years could ever remove how important Merlin has always been, but those nerve-wracking romantic feelings — and yet they’re there, right underneath his breastbone, humming and warm and as solid and real as they’d been the day he left Merlin on the steps to his building four years ago. And in the same way those feelings easily made their way back into Arthur ’s life, so did Merlin, and he’s made himself snug and comfortable as a constant presence that Arthur isn’t sure how he lived without for so long. Lance stretches beside Arthur , his bones cracking satisfyingly , and it reminds Arthur of just how long they’ve been sat here. “I think it’s time for me to head home,” he says, closing his laptop and tucking it into his bag. “I’m pretty sure I’ll do better on the midterms if I actually get some sleep in between study sessions.” Arthur huffs out a laugh and leans back in his chair . He still has an assignment that needs to be submitted by midnight, but he really would love to go back to his own crappy dorm bed. “Sleep is for the weak,” Merlin says, never taking his eyes of f his screen. Arthur and Lance share a look. Arthur shakes his head with a sigh. “I’ll follow you to the cafeteria,” he says and stands up. “I’m going to need cof fee if I want to survive another two hours of this.” “Oh, get me one, will you?” Merlin asks. He’ s still not looking up from his laptop. Arthur rolls his eyes at him. “I’d tell you to get one yourself but I don’t think even a natural disaster could get you to move,” he says. That, at least, gets Merlin to finally look up to grin at him. Lance chuckles, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder . “See you tomorrow , Merlin.” “See you tomorrow , Lance. Enjoy your sleep,” Merlin says and turns to grin at him. “I will,” Lance says. “Enjoy your studying.” “I won’ t.” “I’ll make sure he doesn’ t die,” Arthur says, clasping Lance on the shoulder as he walks past him towards the stairs. He doesn’ t miss Merlin poking his tongue out at him, but Arthur is clearly the more mature person here because he stops himself from poking his tongue out right back at him. Lance laughs as he follows him, the sound loud in the quiet space. “And who’ s going to make sure you don’ t?” Arthur grins. “Merlin, of course.” Lance chuckles. “It’ll be a pleasant surprise if I see either of you alive and awake in the morning, then,” he says and squeezes Arthur ’s shoulder . “Try to get some sleep at least.” “We will,” Arthur says as they stop by the small cof fee hub. “T ell Gwen I said hi.” “Will do. Goodnight, Arthur ,” Lance says with a smile. “Night,” Arthur says, waving him off as he leaves the library , and then steps up to the tired- looking student manning the cof fee. It’s only when he orders that he realises he doesn’ t know how Merlin likes his coffee. 16- year-old Merlin didn’ t drink coffee, and Arthur has only known 20-year -old Merlin for a few weeks. So he gets a vegan pumpkin spice latte for himself because he’s a basic bitch and it tastes good, and orders a large black coffee with just a bit of dairy-free-milk for Merlin and hopes it’ll do. That’ s how the Merlin he knew liked his tea. “One large dose of caffeine,” he says as he places the takeaway mug next to Merlin’ s scattered notes. “Oh my god, thank you,” Merlin says, moving the mug to his lips and taking a large gulp without so much as a wince. How he can drink it when it’s still scalding hot Arthur doesn’ t know , but he used to do that with hot chocolate and tea before too. “Oh, this is perfect. Thank you, Arthur ,” he says, grinning at Arthur with a brightness that rivals the bloody sun. Arthur hasn’ t seen Merlin in four years, and somehow it’s like no time has passed at all. He knows he doesn’ t really know this Merlin, this older version of him that has lived a life without Arthur , but he finds that he desperately wants to. Wants to know him in any way Merlin will let him, actually , and for a moment he wonders if this is the moment he should tell him. If it’s time to spill the secrets that are no longer held tightly against his chest but are still held close and only shared with a very select few. Maybe now, almost entirely alone on the third floor of the university library on a wet, dark evening in October , when they’re starting over and continuing on, is when he should let Merlin know how he feels. “Gosh I’m so happy to have you back in my life. I really missed you,” Merlin says, grin soft around the edges, hair tousled just so and looking warm and cozy and like everything Arthur thinks he could ever want. Arthur ’s lips twitch into a smile hidden behind his mug, the steam curling warm around his nose. “No one managed to take my place, then?” he says, and Merlin laughs. “No, you prat. No one’s ego is large enough,” he says. “But no, I’ve only ever had one best friend,” he adds, smile wide and happy and warm, and Arthur doesn’ t want to risk ruining that, or the second chance they’ve been given. So he smiles back and tucks the feelings into the pocket he kept them in for so long before, and says, “Me too.” IV. “Merlin, do you really think this is a good idea? You don’t think it’s a little too.. on the nose?” Arthur asks as he twists and turns in front of the body-length mirror in Merlin’ s flat. It’s not that he doesn’t think he looks good — the costume is very high quality and Arthur is going to have to wear it for every single costume party for the rest of his life with how much it cost — but it feels a little too ridiculous. They’ve been teased about this since they became friends in primary; is it really necessary to add fuel to the flame? “That’ s why it’ s so good!” Merlin calls from the bathroom. Arthur sighs. The things he does for him. “Are you nearly finished or are we going to be three hours late again?” “Yeah yeah, done in a second! This bloody beard doesn’ t want to stick,” Merlin says. “Need any help?” Arthur asks as he tightens the belt around his waist and pulls on his red cape. He grabs the small pink, purpl e, and blue dragon pin from Merlin’ s desk and fiddles with it. It’s his favourite pride pin, given to him by Merlin after he finally gathered up the courage to tell him that he likes people romantically and no one sexua lly, regardless of gender . It still scares him to wear it, despite the pride he feels. He wonders how long it’ll take before it stops making his stomach swoop anxiously , if it ever will stop. “No, all good!” Merlin says, and then he’s bouncing out from the bathroom and Arthur can’t help the loud laugh that escapes him. “You look absolutely ridiculous,” he says. “Remind me to never let you grow a beard.” Merlin pouts at him, and it makes him look even more bizarre in his red robes and long white fake beard and scraggly wig. He’ s even added wrinkles. “Who said Merlin the Wizard had to be old?” Arthur asks, still fiddling with the pin in his hands. “Maybe he was a fit young sorcerer .” Merlin rolls his eyes and steps forward, hands reaching to grab the pin from Arthur ’s hands. He hums as he removes the pin lock. “King Arthur ’s young lover , perhaps?” he says, glancing up briefly at Arthur before he returns his attention to fastening the pin to Arthur ’s cape. Arthur swallows. “W ell, history always did have a way of being pretty gay .” Merlin snorts. “You can say that again.” He finishes fastening the pin, runs his hands over the fabric of the cape, and then steps back. He grins at Arthur . “Now we match,” he says, tugging at his red robes and the bi-coloured butterfly and the non-binary he/him pins fastened on the left side of his chest. Arthur huf fs out a laugh, heart thudding in his chest. “You look great,” Merlin adds, giving him a once-over . “The Great King of Camelot.” “Thanks,” Arthur says, voice hoarse. He clears his throat. “Y ou look old.” Merlin rolls his eyes at him again, and really it fits his costume perfectly . “Prat.” “That’ s Your Royal Prat to you, Sorce rer,” Arthur says as he makes sure he has all his things and picks up Merli n’s phone before grabbing hold of Merlin’ s arm. “Now come on, the court awaits us.” Gwaine has really gone all out. His house is decked out with skeletons and ghosts and spider - web, a row of pumpkins that Arthur recognises from their annual pumpkin-carving competition litters his front porch, and the music blasting from the living room is nothing if not the Ghostbusters soundtrack. Gwaine himself is dressed in a leather costume that shows more skin than perhaps is socially acceptable but is entirely expected from him and a winged eyeliner that even Arthur is jealous of even if he very rarely wears makeup. No way the Playboy bunnies are getting all the fun, as Gwai ne said a few years ago when he wore a literal Playboy bunny outfit for Halloween. He’ s only outdone himself since. “Friends! You made it,” he calls when they walk through the door. “I’m loving the couple’ s costume,” he says with a wide grin. Arthur rolls his eyes at him and lets himself be pulled into a mostly naked hug. “Thanks. It was all Merlin’ s idea,” he says when Gwaine pulls Merlin into a similar hug. Gwaine grins at Merlin, slapping him on the shoulder . “Of course it was.” Merlin grins back at him proudly . His fake beard is already starting to peel, so Arthur pushes it back in place. “You want anything to drink?” Gwaine asks, motioning towards the kitchen that is only a little less crowded than the living room and the hall. Arthur shrugs. “Why not.” “I’m alright, thanks. I’m going to find Gwen! I promised her I’d show her my outfit as soon as I came,” Merlin says, waving them off and disappearing into the throng of people and further into the house. “Alright then, what can I offer you, Princess?” Gwaine asks as he leads Arthur into the kitchen. There are orange streamers hanging from the ceiling and the kitchen table is littered with an array of drinks and bottles. Arthur rolls his eyes again. “Honestly , anything’ s fine so long as it’s not deadly . I do have to attend lunch with my father and sister tomorrow , and as much as I think Morgana would love to see me hungover I don’t think Father would be too impressed,” he says, scowling when Gwaine grins at him. “Your daddy’s always been a stick in the mud,” he says, and Arthur scrunc hes his nose up at the choice of word , but can’t disagr ee with the rest. “I’m going to make you a potion of courage so you can finally get around to telling Merlin how you feel. You’ll only feel it a little in the morning , I promise,” he says with a smile that tells Arthur he’s definitely going to feel it more than a little. Arthur purses his lips and gives him an unimpressed glare, but doesn’ t stop him when Gwaine grabs a few of the bottles strewn across the table and starts pouring liquids of different colours into a glass. “Oh, come on, mate. You’ve been pining for him since primary school. Don’ t you think it’s about time?” Honestly Arthur doesn’ t know why he ever told Gwaine about his feelings for Merlin, but then he probably wasn’ t very sober when he did and it was definitely Gwaine and his scarily- tasty, very-alcoholic drinks’ fault. He raises an eyebrow when Gwaine drops a small, round item into his drink and holds it out to him. “And I’m perfectly fine pining until I die,” he says, taking the glass and watching the fake eye bob up and down in the colourful drink. He gives Gwaine a skeptical look before taking a sip. “Oh my god,” he says, making a face. It’ s way too strong and tastes way too good. “What the hell did you put in this?” Gwaine just grins at him and slaps him on the shoulder . “Just think about it,” he says, before slipping out of the kitchen. Arthur doesn’ t tell him that he has thought about it, multiple times. He takes another sip from the drink and grimaces again. God he’s not having any more to drink after this one. Arthur has thought about it, more times than he can count, really , has been close to telling Merlin a handful of times too. And yet, Gwaine’ s words make him think about it again, because honestly he isn’t sure he really is fine pining until the day he dies. He loves being friends with Merlin more than anything and if that’ s what they’re always going to be then that is more than fine with him, but he’s not sure he could go his entire life not knowing if that’s what Merlin wants or if their relationship could be something else. It’s probably the ridiculous amount of alcohol in the drink Gwaine made, but he’s feeling a little daring tonight. He won’ t ever know what Merlin feels if he never asks, right? So he spends almost half an hour walking through Gwaine’ s house trying to find Merlin somewhere in the crowd of witches and superheroes and pirates and ghosts, with little success. But he’ s made up his mind now , and like hell he’ s going to chicken out. It’s only when he goes outside into the cold night air that he spots him in the corner of the garden, face softly illuminated by the string of yellow lights hanging in the red and orange trees. He’s sitting, rather close, too, and laughing with a girl — Freya, Arthur thinks, from one of Merlin’ s nerdy societies. They’re turned towards each other , knees touching and smiles on their faces, caught in conve rsation. They look like they’ve forgotten the rest of the world exists, as if there’ s only the two of them, and Arthur ’s stomach drops. He guesses he wasn’ t meant to tell Merlin today either . He’s just about to turn around and go back inside when Merlin spots him. Merlin turns and grins at him, and Arthur , in turn, just gives him an awkward wave. Merlin turns back to Freya, saying something that has her smiling widely and nodding, and then he ducks in to leave a lingering kiss on her cheek before standing up and making his way towards Arthur . He doesn’ t take his eyes off her until he’s reached him, and Arthur supposes there’ s no need to ask. It’ s plenty obvious what Merlin feels. So, instead, he forces a grin and wiggles his eyebrows when Merlin finally looks at him. Merlin just laughs, cheeks dusted red, and punches him in the arm. V. The tube is crowded, with people packed shoulder to shoulder in the aisles and groups of friends squeezed too many into a row of seats. Arthur is tucked — more like wedged, really — between Merlin and Percival, the rest of their friends crammed in around them. There’ s really no use in trying to follow any of the conversations happening around him with the loud noise of the train and the laughter and chatter filling the car from all directions, and it’s much too tight to get a hold of his phone, so Arthur settles with staring off into the space in front of him. Which happens to hold a glum looking Merlin. It’s not very cold on the tube — the body temperature of all eight hundre d or so people are doing wonders against the early November cold — but Merlin is wrapped up in his usual blue scarf, chin tucked into it, and huddled into a thick rust red jacket. The dark grey wool beanie he’s wear ing has a small cat with a red neckerchief on the brim, his dark hair curling around it. He’s clearly trying to follow whatev er conversation Morgana, Leon, Lance, and Gwen are having on the other side of Percival, but Arthur can barely hear them so he figures Merlin isn’t much better off. He knows why he’s trying though, knows why there’s a small frown pulling at his brow and why there’ s a tired set to his shoulders and bags under his eyes. Arthur wishes he could help, wishes he could cheer him up, get him out of his own head and forget about Freya for a moment, but he’s shit at these things. What do you tell someone who’ s just been broken up with by their year-long girlfriend? Merlin really liked Freya, probably even loved her; what do you say to someone who’ s gotten their heart broken? Arthur isn’t sure he’d want anyone to say anything reassuring to him at all, honestly . It’s all empty words, anyway . So he doesn’ t say anything reassuring. Instead, he says, “Your face is going to get stuck if you keep frowning like that,” because he’ s an idiot. Merlin rolls his eyes at him, but the frown loosens up just the slightest, so Arthur takes it as a win. “You’re one to speak, with how you brood half the time. You’re going to get wrinkles,” Merlin retorts. Arthur gapes at him, af fronted. “I don’ t brood!” Merlin snorts. He squeezes his hand up between them and runs his thumb over Arthur ’s forehead. “Then what’ s this, Mr. Sunshine?” he says, and Arthur immediately tries to relax the scowl he’d barely noticed. “I’m a delight, thank you very much.” Merlin huffs out a laugh, and it’s a little happier , at least. Instead of trying to pull his arm down to his side again, he simply lets it rest against Arthur ’s chest, hand steady on his shoulder . Arthur wonders if Merlin can feel his heart beating loudly in his chest. “You’re about as delightful as the flu,” Merlin tells him. Arthur can’t help himself, and smirks, wiggling his eyebrows. “What, getting you all hot and bothered?” he asks, and Merlin lets out a loud, startled laugh. Warmth fills Arthur ’s chest at the look Merlin gives him, his eyes twinkling with mirth. He hasn’ t seen Merlin smile so widely in weeks. He grins crookedly back at him. “You wish,” Merlin says, and becaus e their proximity means he can’t punch Arthur in the arm like he usually would, he resorts to pinching his neck lightly . Arthur complains out loud, and wonders silently if he should admit that yes, he kind of does. “This station is W ood Gr een,” the announcement sounds over the intercom, and as soon as the tube stops almost the entire car fills out into the station. And from there it’s a rush of bodies and excitement and street food and drinks, watching the large bonfire get lit and its fire grow , yelling more than speaking the rhyme, and cheering over the morbid tradition of watching a man made of straw be set on fire. It’s fun and pleasant and the drinks are warm where the night is cold, and they’re all bundled together as close to the fire as they can get. Arthur stands next to Merlin, a cup of hot apple cider in his hands, watchin g from the corner of his eye as Merlin stares absentmindedly into the fire. The light of the bonfire casts shadows and a yellow glow across his face that makes him look ethereal. The quiet content in his eyes has Arthu r’s heart aching in his chest, because Merlin deserves this always, to feel content and happy and cherished. Merlin deserves to know that someone loves him, now more than ever , when he feels broken and unloveable. It’s their final year, and while Arthur doesn’ t think he could let go of Merl in again so easily , they’re graduating soon and life takes turns you don’t expect it to. He might not get another chance, might not gather up the courage again before it’ s too late. “Merlin,” he starts, and Merlin turns to him with a hum, eyes softly crinkled at the corners. His cheeks are a little rosy from the nipping wind, but he looks warm and comfortable and Arthur is so ridiculously in love. Arthur opens his mouth to continue — to tell him, finally — but that’s when the first firework goes off and the world is lit with a wonderful array of colours. Merlin turns his head with a surprised laugh to watch the display in the night sky, but Arthur pays more attention to the way the colours illuminate Merlin’ s face and how they reflect in his wide, awestruck eyes. Merlin’ s face is lit up in delight by the time the colours fade. He turns to Arthur with a blinding smile, and Arthur swallows. Because he can’t risk taking this away from him, not now, not for such selfish reasons as his own. “What were you going to say?” Merlin asks, and Arthur shakes his head. There’ll be another time, a time when Merlin isn’t heart broken and his eyes don’t reflect the night sky, when Arthur can form the words instead of just wanting to stare at him in awe. “Nothing,” he says. “Just… glad you’re here.” Merlin beams at him and bumps their shoulders. He doesn’ t pull away afterwards. “Me too.” + I. It’s a cold, wet Saturday in late Novem ber. The air is cold and the trees are bare, and the day has been lovely , the air crisp and the sky blue — up until about an hour ago. Then lunchtime came around and so did the dark clouds hanging heavy over Arthur ’s head, and of course it would start pouring down the mome nt he stepped out from the safety of the under ground station. As he rushes through the streets in the rain he’s eternally grateful that he had the foresight to bring a raincoat and that Merlin decided on meeting for a coffee rather than the walk he first suggested. A bell jingles as he pushes the door to The Round Table open and steps inside, coat dripping water onto the floor despite the short trip from the station to the café. He pulls the hood down and unzips the coat as he glances around the small and cozy space. It’s of little surprise that Merlin is nowhere to be seen; he does have a penchant for being late. Arthur decides to order while he waits, and scans over the menus above the bar. They’re all changed from their autumn and Halloween specials to limited winter and Christmas drinks, and the shelves are lined with yule logs, Christmas puddings, and fruity mince pies amongst their usual pastries and cakes. The only thing that’s missing, really , is the Christmas decoration and All I Want For Christmas Is You playing from the speakers, but Arthur figures it’s probably only a matter of days. He doesn ’t dislike Christmas per se, but he doesn’ t usually try to get himself into the Christmas spirit until December 1st, so he’s happy to see they still offer their autumn assortment. He orders a vegan caramel and hazelnut latte and a black coffee with a splash of dairy-free milk and a pinch of cinnam on. Just as he’s about to pay he throws in one of the gingerbread muffins too because he can’t help himself. It’s only a week until December , anyway . He’s just sat down with the drinks and the pastry when the bell above the door jingles again, a mop of wet, dark hair and dark blue eyes looking around until they spot him. Merlin grins widely and makes his way through the café. The corner of Arthur ’s mouth tugs up just the slightest. “Sorry I’m late!” Merlin says when he reaches him, and he does at least have the decency to look like he means it. “I forgot my umbrella at home and was hoping I could wait out the rain at the station,” he says as he shrugs off his wet coat and hangs it over the chair in front of Arthur . His hair is dripping water onto his dark green sweater and his cheeks are flushed a bright red from the cold. Arthur rolls his eyes good heartedly . “Only you, Merlin.” “That’ s not true!” Merlin exclaims, ruffling his hair and successfully splattering water droplets everywhere. “The forecast didn’ t say anything about a downpour!” “It did say it was going to rain,” Arthur points out. Merlin rolls his eyes as he steps aroun d the table. “It didn’ t say it was going to rain this much . Clotpole,” he says, and then he bends down and pulls Arthur into a tight, warm — if a little wet — hug. “I missed you.” Arthur wraps his arms around Merlin’ s back and hugs him back just as tightly . It’s only been a few months, and it’s not like they haven’ t talked, but between internships and work and Merlin being away as part of his graduate position, they’ve barely had any time to meet since graduation. And Arthur has missed him something fiercely . “We talked yesterday ,” he says, just to be an arse, and Merlin huffs out a laugh and hugs him just a little tighter . Arthur grins. “I missed you too.” Merlin squeezes him one more time and then he pulls back, plopping into his chair and pulling his waiting cup of coffee towards him. He takes a sip and hums satisfied, his lips pulling into a grin. The corners of it are soft and warm. “So, what ’s happened in your life? I want to know everything,” he says, leaning his elbows against the table. Arthur huffs out a laugh and takes a sip from his own warm drink. “You already know everything,” he says. “Nothing new has happened in the last eighteen hours, surprisingly enough.” Merlin just continues to grin at him. “How was the Halloween party?” “Good,” Arthur says. “Gwaine and Percy fell into the pool and Leon had to pull them out. They were both grounded and forced to spend the rest of the night sobering up in Gwaine’ s bathroom,” he tells him with a chuck le. “And Gwen looked so gorgeous in her costume we all thought Lance was going to get down and propose any second.” He grins. “Although I think he’ s probably got something a little more special planned.” Merlin chuckles. “Maybe not the most romantic situation when people are dressed up in outfits ranging from nothing to absolute absurdity and everyone is well beyond drunk. Good choice, Lance.” “I’m pretty sure Gwen would say yes if he proposed in a dumpster , to be fair .” Merlin laughs, warm and happy . “Yeah, she would.” “My costume wasn’ t nearly as good without my sorcerer , though,” Arthur says, and Merlin smiles widely . “I’m sure the mighty King Arthur is just as striking without him,” he says. Arthur shrugs. “Maybe,” he says, hiding his smile behind his cup. “But he definitely felt like something was missing.” Merlin’ s bright eyes crinkle at the corners. “I guess his sorcerer will have to make sure to show up next time, then,” he says. “I’m holding you to that,” Arthur says, giving him a pointed look. “So, how was Manchester? Seemed like you had a lot of fun.” Merlin’ s entire face lights up. “I did! It was so interesting to finally see everything I’ve learnt actually be used in practice, you know?” he says, and then he goes on a ramble about everything he saw in the three months he was away , everyone he met, all the things he got to do. Arthur has already heard more than half of this, but he has only heard it over the phone and through video calls with poor connection, and he’ll never mind hearing Merlin speak, no matter how many times he has to hear the same thing. A little distance and four months apart and the feelings in Arthur ’s chest haven’ t diminished in the slightest. At this point he figures they probably never will. “-and Sefa has promised to come here just before Christmas; we were thinking of heading up to Edinbur gh for the Christmas market. I’m just really excited to see her again, even if we saw each other a few weeks ago,” Merlin says with a laugh. He speaks about her a lot, Sefa, and it’ s clear he likes her . Arthur just isn’ t sure in which way . So he raises his eyebrow suggestively , and Merlin’ s quick to wave him of f. “No, it’s nothing like that,” he says with a chuckle. “We’re friends, and I’m pretty sure she and Daegal have something going on,” he adds and grins. Arthur nods in understanding, but frowns when Merlin gives him a funny look. “How about you?” Merlin asks, averting his eyes and grabbing one of the forks on the table. He pokes at the gingerbread muffin. “Mithian seems nice,” he says, and there’ s a strange tilt to his voice. And sure, Mithian is nice. Quite lovely , actually , and Arthur could see something happening between them, if he wasn’ t so damn gone on the person sitting in front of him. And so, this time, Arthur doesn’ t hesitate, doesn’ t stop himself or let himself back down. This time, he lets the words he’s wanted to say for so long roll off his tongue with an ease that really isn’ t all that surprising. “She is,” Merlin’ s lips tug up into something that is probably supposed to be a smile but looks more like a grimace, “but I’m far too busy pining over my best friend for the nth year in a row to really consider it.” It feels not so scary and very relievin g, to finally share the secret he never wanted to keep to begin with. Merlin snaps his head up to stare at him with wide eyes and Arthur rolls his eyes at him. “Oh come on, you can’ t be that oblivious.” Merlin huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. “No. I just wasn’ t expecting you to actually admit it,” he says, and Arthur frowns at him. “I’ve been waiting for you to say something since we were fifteen.” Arthur balks. “Why did you wait for me to say something? If you knew , why didn’ t you say so?” Merlin shrugs, shoving a piece of muffin into his mouth. “I didn’ t want to force you to share something you weren’ t ready for, or feel like you were obligated to do anything about it. I know your dad isn’ t…” he grimaces, “the most approving.” Arthur snorts. “No shit. But seriously , since year ten?” he asks, and Merlin nods. Arthur huffs out a laugh, and leans back in his chair . “Guess all my anxiety about telling you was pretty unnecessary .” Merlin gives him a soft smile. “Y ou never needed to be anxious.” “I know ,” Arthur says with a sigh. “I’ve wanted you to know since I figured it out, but it always came up at bad times or something came in the way and ruined the moment,” he says. Merlin laughs. “But at a café on a random, miserable Saturday afternoon fit the bill?” he asks, mirth in his eyes. Arthur pushes down his own grin and shrugs. “Figured it was as good a day as any .” “Say it again,” Merlin says, leaning forward in his chair , his lips stretching wide as he smiles. Arthur rolls his eyes at him, but he feels his smile tug at his own cheeks. “I love you.” “I know that,” Merlin says with laughter in his voice. “Say the other thing,” he tells him. Arthur huf fs out a breath of a laugh and moves forwards so he’ s also leaning over the table. “I’m in love with you,” he says, holding Merlin’ s gaze. He doesn’ t bother fighting the smile anymore. “Have been since I was eleven.” Merlin grins, wide and bright and warm, and then he ducks forward and his lips catch Arthur ’s in a kiss that tastes like cinnamon and coffee and caramel. It is new and exciting just the same as it feels entirely natural, like something Arthur has done a hundred times before, something he’ll do hundreds and hundreds of times again. “Good,” Merlin says when he pulls away . “Because I’m in love with you too and I’d really like to add ‘boyfriend’ to the list of things I refer to you as in my head.” Arthur runs a thumb over Merlin’ s cheekbone and raises an eyebrow . He probably shouldn’ t ask, but he can’ t help himself. “Oh? And what other names do you have on that list?” “Clotpoll. Prat. Best friend. Ass. Arthur . Cabbagehead. Love of my life. Dollophead.” He laughs and kisses Merlin again. “Wouldn’ t be a complete list without boyfriend on there, would it?” Merlin grins at him again, bright and warm enough to rival the sun. “No, no it wouldn’ t.” End Notes Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Find me on tumblr and twitter ! Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated! Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Words: 7,842
Chapters: 1/1
Secrets & Lies
Arthur had finally put his finger on it.The thing that had made Merlin stand out, the thing that had intrigued him about the boy ever since the first time he’d met him. The thing that was going to get him killed… Merlin had magic. Not only had it, but used it freely all the bloody time. It was only a matter of time before someone saw him do it, and then they’d report him to the king and Merlin would be dragged out into the courtyard and executed.Well, not if Arthur had anything to do about it.Mid series one, Arthur, for once not being totally oblivious, discovers that Merlin has magic. The problem is, having magic gets people killed and Arthur very much prefers Merlin alive. It turns out making sure nobody sees Merlin do magic is rather a full-time job however...
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Post-Episode: s01e07 Gates of Avalon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), Merlin uses his magic incredibly unsubtly, for once Arthur gets sole use of the braincell, Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Banter, Name-Calling, lovable idiots, Canon-Typical Violence, it's those damn bandits again, magical healing, They have a moment, Misunderstandings, Feelings Realization, Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin), Arthur & Morgana sibling relationship (Merlin), Merlin is an idiot, Idiots in Love, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluffy Ending, prat and idiot, Merlin Gets a Hug (Merlin), Swearing, Canon Era
Language: English
Published: 2021-04-18
Words: 13,333
Chapters: 3/3
Comments: 90
Kudos: 2,381
Bookmarks: 393
Hits: 23,601
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-04-18
I Start to Wonder (What His Story Might Be)
Merlin's half-lidded eyes looked up at him, eyebrow raising in an imitation of his mentor. "Like I said, I'm tired," he said, monotone, staring at Arthur passively through eyes he was fighting to keep open.akaMerlin is tired when he brings Arthur his breakfast and Arthur wants to know whyakaMerlin vents and then tooth-rotting fluff happens
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Merlin Whump (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Protective Arthur, Arthur Loves Merlin (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Scars, Scar reveal, its not v big tho dont get excited, POV Merlin (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), i only meant for this to be a one shot, it just ended up ending a chapter by itself, so i had to write a second one, Merlin is So Done (Merlin), Self-Sacrificing Merlin (Merlin), Fluff and Angst, Merlin vents, thats it thats the fic, Fluff, i just rlly wanted merlin to vent and be loved, How Do I Tag, Author Is Sleep Deprived, like Merlin, Sleep-Deprived Merlin (Merlin), that should be a tag, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, it sounds angstier than it is i promise, i think, Soft Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Getting Together, First Kiss, Tired Merlin (Merlin), Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2022-12-12
Words: 6,744
Chapters: 2/2
Comments: 22
Kudos: 1,489
Bookmarks: 192
Hits: 18,282
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Assassins - Character
Completed: 2022-12-12
His Protective Warlock
To Arthur, Merlin was always different. A bit idiot, too. However when he saw his magic first, he also realized that how powerful Merlin was. It was terrifying but still Arthur fell in love with his both sides.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Arthur Pendragon Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parent Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Feelings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, Everyone Hates Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2023-03-10
Words: 4,862
Chapters: 2/2
Comments: 10
Kudos: 359
Bookmarks: 48
Hits: 5,917
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin)
Completed: 2023-03-13
the girl with blue eyes and white hair (winter woes)
Merlin's secrets all came to light when he found his dragon-daughter in a strange cave, during a patrol with Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.Except, Aithusa was a baby, now. A human baby. And Merlin didn’t know what to do, much less how to explain all this to Arthur.And then, the cold started taking its toll on Merlin, in more ways than one.(aka, Merlin’s Blue-Eyes White Daughter)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Father-Daughter Relationship, Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), Sad Merlin (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Sick Merlin (Merlin), Post-Season/Series 04, Pre-Episode: s05e01-02 Arthur's Bane (Merlin), Human Aithusa (Merlin), Guilty Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin gets a cold and says things he probably shouldn't, Arthur feels like a bad friend, but they make up, eventually, Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dad!Merlin, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Protective Knights (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur is trying to be a good uncle, I'm not sure if he's succeeding tho, But he's trying, Fluff, Some Fluff for your hard times, Protective Gwaine (Merlin), Panic Attacks, Kinda, but tw for those i guess, Baby Aithusa (Merlin), Accidental Baby Acquisition, Kind Of, Terrible medieval medicical pratices, I know noting about medicine, Let Arthur Talk About His Feelings/Emotions, Arthur Pendragon Needs a Hug (Merlin), Shape-Shifting Aithusa, Happy Ending
Language: English
Published: 2023-05-07
Words: 32,257
Chapters: 6/6
Comments: 75
Kudos: 1,486
Bookmarks: 293
Hits: 21,057
Categories: Gen, F/M
Relationships: Aithusa & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Aithusa & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), past Freya/Merlin (Merlin) - Relationship, Freya/Merlin (Merlin), Mentioned Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Aithusa (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Freya (Merlin)
Completed: 2023-07-27
Sandbox Stories
Arthur meets a friend in a sandbox.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Modern Era, kid!Merlin, kid!Arthur, Teen!Valiant, Teen!Leon, Teen!Elyan, Cute, Fun
Language: English
Published: 2015-12-21
Words: 666
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 8
Kudos: 198
Bookmarks: 5
Hits: 2,478
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
A Life Without Love Isn't A Life Worth Living
Merlin meets Arthur. .. his purpose
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Suicide, Depression, very sad
Language: English
Published: 2015-12-24
Words: 883
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29
Bookmarks: 1
Hits: 881
Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Major Character Death
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin)
Practice Makes Perfect
When Arthur finds out Merlin has magic, he makes Merlin train him how to fight against sorcery. It’s all going perfectly fine until Arthur decides he wants to build up a tolerance to love potions.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Love Potion/Spell, Fluff and Crack, First Kiss, Canon Era
Language: English
Published: 2016-01-19
Words: 3,058
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 173
Kudos: 16,410
Bookmarks: 1,973
Hits: 117,902
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon/A Tree
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Easier Said Than Done
'Merlin,' Arthur called for the third time. He was getting really irritated. /Dammit, where is that idiot?/ he wondered. A second later Merlin stumbled into Arthur's chambers, tripping over his own feet. Arthur gets upset when Merlin doesn't respond to his orders, and decides to show him a piece of his mind. Fluffy Merthur slash fic
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Merthur - Freeform, Fluff, Drabble, Confession, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Published: 2012-12-04
Words: 1,105
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 6
Kudos: 113
Bookmarks: 9
Hits: 1,808
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
To Walk in his Shoes
When a magical enemy of Merlin's decides it's high time Arthur found out about Merlin's magic, he sets a spell forcing Arthur to be bound to Merlin. There was a catch though, Merlin couldn't see him. So Arthur is forced to be Merlin's shadow for a day. He never expected to see this though. The magic was a surprise... But this? Can Arthur get himself visible in time?
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Self-Harm, Hurt!Merlin, Hurt Merlin, Hurt/Comfort, Invisibility, Protective Arthur, Depression, Magic Revealed, Oneshot
Language: English
Published: 2016-04-21
Words: 5,553
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 14
Kudos: 1,013
Bookmarks: 119
Hits: 28,391
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Regent
Arthur is turned into a child.And with that, Camelot is in dire need of a regent or else there will be war.The natural next in line, is no other than Lord Agravaine, who seems to suspect Merlin as the reason for Arthur's current condition.And if that man wasn't bad enough, Merlin learns the bitter truth about Arthur's childhood. And Agravaine's role in it.Something has to happen, or the six year old Arthur is forced to live through his trauma a second time.That is, until they find out Arthur left a will....
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Merlin (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Age Regression/De-Aging, Curses, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Angry Merlin (Merlin), Gaius turns a blind eye, Merlin finds out about Arthur's past, Scar reveal, It's Arthur who has the scars, Don't be confused, Immortal Leon (Merlin), Slow Burn
Language: English
Published: 2022-08-27
Words: 148,386
Chapters: 16/16
Comments: 432
Kudos: 1,880
Bookmarks: 407
Hits: 49,870
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Categories: Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Agravaine & Merlin (Merlin), Agravaine & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Gaius & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Leon & Merlin (Merlin), Agravaine & Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Agravaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Emrys, Balinor (Merlin), Dragoon the Great, Hunith (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin)
Completed: 2023-02-18
Look After You
Merlin sits on the side of the bed. 'Arthur,' he says. 'Are you sick?'Arthur huddles in the bedclothes. 'Throat hurts,' he croaks, and swallows painfully.(Arthur is sick, and Merlin takes care of him. But Arthur wants something more, and he won't say what it is.)
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Sickfic, Sick Arthur, Caring Merlin, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Sharing Body Heat, Hugs, Arthur needs a hug, Sleepy Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Canon Era, Caring, Wrist Kiss, Love Confessions, Sort Of, Arthur Has the Worst Timing Ever, First Kiss, Kissing, Hurt/Comfort, and now with, sick Merlin, in the modern day, Arthur Uses A Kettle, Post-it Notes, Merlin Leaves Post-It Notes For Arthur, Caring Arthur, Protective Arthur, Getting Together
Language: English
Published: 2016-06-01
Words: 6,166
Chapters: 4/4
Comments: 147
Kudos: 3,293
Bookmarks: 415
Hits: 40,463
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Completed: 2016-12-05
What I'd Have Done
"I'm not sure what I'd have done.""And I didn't want to put you in that position.”For better or for worse, Arthur knows Merlin's secret. The problem? Merlin doesn't know Arthur knows. This leaves Arthur with a predicament... and an opportunity. A test. Three trials and three opportunities for Merlin to prove he doesn't deserve death. Arthur hopes he will pass them. Maybe then the image of Merlin's golden eyes will stop haunting him.Merlin opened his mouth. A noise unlike any sound Arthur had ever heard escaped from it. Loud and rumbling and guttural, inhuman, and in no way, shape, or form could actually be coming from his manservant.But it was. And Merlin was speaking."O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes! Erkheo!"For a minute, there was complete silence—a silence in which Arthur just stared from behind a tree in an incomprehensive daze.But then there was a sound. Both loud and forceful and... familiar.The sound of flapping wings.AKA an in-depth character study of Arthur. I do not endorse Arthur's actions, but this is what I think he'd do in canon. This was my season 3 prediction!
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Betrayed!Arthur, BAMF!Merlin, Arthur testing Merlin's loyalty, Death, Emrys title reveal, "What If" Magic Reveal, Some Merlin POV, Arthur processing Merlin's secret, Merlin not knowing Arthur knows, Trials, An exploration of Arthur's character/thought process/development, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, POV Arthur, Arthur-centric, Canon Era, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Season/Series 03, Magic Revealed, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin’s Magic (Merlin), Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), Gen or Pre-Slash, Merthur or Arwen or both depending on how you read canon, Suicidal Thoughts, TW: Hangings / Execution, Arthur gets the character development he deserves because I said so, This is my thesis on Arthur as a character, Merlin calls Arthur out on his shit, Gaius and Gwen also call Arthur out on his shit, Morgana is in evil smirk mode but there's hope for her yet, I do not endorse Arthur's thoughts or actions this is just what I think he would do in canon, Fix-It of Sorts, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Heavy Angst, Merlin doesn't know that Arthur knows
Language: English
Published: 2015-10-17
Words: 119,263
Chapters: 14/14
Comments: 1,051
Kudos: 5,674
Bookmarks: 1,489
Hits: 117,646
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin, Arthur, Gaius, Uther, Kilgharrah, Gwen, Morgana, Leon (Merlin), George (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin)
Completed: 2022-03-15
Roll to Me (Short Version)
Arthur had been back from the dead for five days when Merlin decided to take him roller skating. Merlin wouldn't admit it, but his primary motivation was to see the mighty Arthur Pendragon fall on his bum.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Arthur Pendragon Returns, Rollerblades & Rollerskates, Fluff, Community: camelot_drabble
Language: English
Published: 2017-02-01
Words: 998
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 22
Kudos: 138
Bookmarks: 12
Hits: 1,497
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Total Knockout
Or "Why Arthur Should Stop Getting Knocked Unconscious at Strategic Moments Throughout the Show so that Merlin Can Do Magic Without Getting Caught." It's Arthur's coronation day, but the new king isn't quite… himself this morning.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Crack, Humor, Satire, Friendship, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Published: 2011-04-11
Words: 3,511
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 4
Kudos: 178
Bookmarks: 21
Hits: 1,942
Categories: Gen, F/M
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Into the Blue
Arthur is feverish, Merlin snuggles him. Gwen isn't in it much tbh, and you can read it as Merthur if you so wish.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort, Fever, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Language: English
Published: 2017-03-05
Words: 1,046
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 4
Kudos: 139
Bookmarks: 13
Hits: 2,182
Relationships: Gwen/Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin)
Cutting the strings.
Merlin has had enough and makes a life changing choice and Arthur is right behind him and something starts to bloom between the two men.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Confessions, Honesty, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Confusion, Angst
Language: English
Published: 2018-09-14
Words: 1,337
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55
Bookmarks: 3
Hits: 1,520
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin)
Cuddling a Prince
Merlin leaves Camelot abruptly to see his mother in Ealdor. Arthur is left lonely, sleepless, and in need of a good cuddle. The knights step in to help, because what are friends for.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin - Fandom
Additional Tags: arthur misses merlin, and cuddles, the knights step in, Fluff and Crack, Established Relationship, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort
Language: English
Published: 2018-11-26
Words: 1,548
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 16
Kudos: 653
Bookmarks: 63
Hits: 6,900
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Knights (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin)
Never Enough
During a meeting with Queen Victoria, Arthur met Helen Mora. She was an excellent singer. After a successful performance that Arthur set up, he was prepared to leave and go on a tour of the country with her. Merlin, upon hearing that Arthur would leave, couldn't help but feel like Arthur was ashamed of him and the circus.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Published: 2019-02-15
Words: 1,370
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 84
Bookmarks: 1
Hits: 1,164
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lady Helen of Mora
If I'm Arthur
They played Merlin and Arthur when they were small, because Merlin was well,actuallynamed Merlin, and if there was a Merlin there should be an Arthur to match.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Growing Up Together, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical
Language: English
Published: 2017-07-20
Words: 429
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 16
Kudos: 166
Bookmarks: 12
Hits: 1,543
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Grief
Balinor just died. And instead of comforting Merlin, Arthur tells him not to cry.Merlin is done - and gives Arthur a piece of his mind
Rating: Not Rated
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Grief, merlin is mad, No man is worth your tears, Oblivious Arthur, Emotional Hurt, Merlin is So Done (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2020-02-25
Words: 917
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 34
Kudos: 1,867
Bookmarks: 106
Hits: 12,806
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor & Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin)
the after
From the nightmares the dream begins.'“Yes, but,” Arthur crowded Merlin again, his lips hovering over Merlin’s until Merlin closed the gap between them and covered Arthur’s mouth with his own. “Did you mean it?”'
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2019-11-20
Words: 2,044
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 14
Kudos: 730
Bookmarks: 50
Hits: 5,783
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)
Of Course I Care
Merlin has anxiety and it’s a tricky thing to deal with. only Lancelot seems to help. Arthur is tired of feeling helpless. He goes to Lancelot to learn how to help Merlin.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: can be platonic or romantic you decide, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Lancelot (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur needs help taking care of his smol, Sir Leon the Long Suffering, that tag's funny again!, it's mostly implied tho, everyone ships it
Language: English
Published: 2020-08-05
Words: 2,932
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 48
Kudos: 2,910
Bookmarks: 262
Hits: 22,088
Categories: Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot/Merlin (Merlin), Lancelot & Merlin (Merlin), Leon & Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Gaius & Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin)
3 Times Arthur Brings Merlin Flowers and the 1 Time Merlin Realises Why
“I’ve brought you flowers.”“Oh, these are fantastic, Arthur! Truly. Gaius will be so pleased. We can never afford roses.”Merlin found what he was looking for – a knife – and turned back to the roses. Arthur let out a strangled sound as he sliced off the heads of the roses, tossing the stalks away.“Roses have so many health benefits,” Merlin offered conversationally. “They can help reduce pain, depression, anxiety, stress… You're getting quite good at identifying the right flowers for medicinal use!”------In which Arthur keeps getting Merlin flowers and Merlin keeps thinking they're for medicinal use.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Minor Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Misunderstandings, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Good Morgana (Merlin), Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), courting, 5+1 Things, except minus 2, because you can only mess up getting flowers so many times, Fluff, Humour, Pining Arthur, Romance, Annoyed Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2020-08-10
Words: 3,599
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 91
Kudos: 3,665
Bookmarks: 487
Hits: 20,536
Categories: F/F, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin & Morgana & Arthur Pendragon, Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Morgana (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin)
Ear muffs?
Two of our favorite idiots in a story that leads to the invention of........
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Neckerchief (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Merlin (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Magic, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Merlin - Freeform, less than 1k words
Language: English
Published: 2020-09-29
Words: 767
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 12
Kudos: 194
Bookmarks: 8
Hits: 2,656
Categories: Gen, M/M, Other
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table/Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
If I Give You This
Merthur Week 2020 Day 4 - "What are you hiding Merlin?" + funArthur hasn't seen Merlin all day. He decides to see what's going on.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Merthur Week 2020, Gift Giving, Implied Feelings, Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Shy Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2020-12-24
Words: 505
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 142
Bookmarks: 10
Hits: 1,159
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
At the Last Moment...
People [are] hiding everywhere; stand still as a stone...Merlin has imagined telling Arthur his secret. He's thought about it countless times, hundreds upon hundreds. Thought about his fate, his destiny to serve Arthur as the Once and Future King.But he's never imagined this. Never thought this would happen, never thought he would take such a step.And now he is certain that his end has come.(Or, Merlin plans or rather decides spur of the moment to reveal his magic and - if necessary - die trying. Because how can he be completely, utterly certain that he is immortal, Kilgharrah? And how can he truly serve Arthur if he forever conceals an integral part of himself?)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: What-If, During Canon, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arguing, Fights, Self-Esteem Issues, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Gwaine Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Crying, Visions, Anger, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fate & Destiny, Banter, Protective Arthur, Panic Attacks, Humor, Attempt at Humor, Mistaken Identity, Swearing, Confused Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin is So Done (Merlin), Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Epic Friendship, Friendship/Love, Season/Series 05, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Innuendo, Merlin has had enough of this, Hugs, Gwaine is a supportive bestie, Everyone Loves Merlin (Merlin), Affectionate Insults, Nicknames, Elyan Lives (Merlin), Declarations Of Love, Canon-Typical Violence, Deviates From Canon, Kissing, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Gwaine's Hair (Merlin), Gwaine Flirts (Merlin), Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, Post-Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, Dreams and Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sleepy Cuddles, War Boys Showing Affection, Merlin has a lot of feelings okay, Pre-Battle of Camlann (Merlin), Battle of Camlann (Merlin), Post-Battle of Camlann (Merlin), Arthur also has feelings they're just a bit... repressed, Oblivious Arthur, Merlin's Neckerchief (Merlin), Idiots in Love, Emotionally Repressed Bi Boys
Language: English
Published: 2020-09-23
Words: 23,062
Chapters: 23/30
Comments: 52
Kudos: 284
Bookmarks: 39
Hits: 7,493
Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Categories: Gen, F/M, M/M
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin), Undisclosed Relationship(s), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin)
Updated: 2024-02-19
Warden (Of The Land), Primal (Of The Sea)
“Atlantis has always had a King,” said Merlin, a worried frown settled on his features. Arthur longed to kiss his worries away, were it not for the impossible task still ahead. “Now, it needs something more.”The Trident’s recovery a constant weight on his shoulders, Arthur returned the intense gaze of his gorgeous companion. “What could be greater than a King?”“A Hero.”---Arthur is a half-human, half-atlantean warrior, popularly known as the Aquaman. Following his world saving feat with his fellow League heroes, he does his best to use his natural abilities for the good of humankind. Enter captivating, fierce Merlin, a Prince of the Seas, who insists on Arthur’s help to stop his power hungry half-brother King Mordred from forcefully uniting the oceanic people to conquer the surface world.The Kingdom of Atlantis needs its one true heir to take the throne, but can Arthur set aside his anger at the people who murdered his Queen Mother for bearing a half-breed? Amid Primordial Creatures, Legendary Weapons and Powerful Sea Sorcerers, Arthur must stop a great war and save everyone, while enduring Merlin’s irresistible self.Easier said than done.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Additional Tags: Aquaman!Arthur, Mera!Merlin, Slow Burn, Protective Arthur, Pining Arthur, Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Badass EVERYONE, Gaius is so done, Uther is nice, Mordred is a little shit, BAMF Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Prince!Merlin, Alternate Universe - DCEU
Language: English
Published: 2019-06-08
Words: 83,660
Chapters: 20/20
Comments: 103
Kudos: 427
Bookmarks: 138
Hits: 14,479
Fandoms: Aquaman (2018), Merlin (TV)
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Morgana & Morgause, Ygraine de Bois/Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor/Hunith (Merlin)
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Morgause (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Ygraine de Bois (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Valiant (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gawain (Arthurian), Leon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin)
Completed: 2019-10-20
Don't leave me, please
Not me taking that little bit in whatever episode it is when Arthur jumps when Merlin drops something and r u n n i n g with it
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Getting Together, Thunder and Lightning, Panic Attacks, Kind Of, Idiots in Love, Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, but its very brief, How Do I Tag, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), i guess, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era
Language: English
Published: 2021-01-10
Words: 1,705
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 10
Kudos: 483
Bookmarks: 46
Hits: 4,640
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
a death for a life, a life for a lie
Merlin leaned against the railing, forcing Arthur to meet his gaze. “Don’t lie to me, Arthur.”“Right. That’s your job, isn’t it?” The words left Arthur’s mouth before he considered the damage it would cause. Before he considered the fight he was probably starting.Merlin tensed immediately, his eyes going dark. “Excuse me?”(aka how arthur finds out the truth about his mother’s death)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: no magic reveal, Sad Merlin, sad Arthur, angry arthur, Mistrust, Unhealthy Relationships, you know the drill by now
Language: English
Published: 2020-12-26
Words: 4,022
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 20
Kudos: 456
Bookmarks: 16
Hits: 5,139
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), minor Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin) - Relationship
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin)
Rest, Now
The second he sees the walls of Camelot, Merlin slumps in the saddle. Cara nickers in warning and he just manages to right himself before Arthur looks over.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Post-Episode: s04e08 Lamia, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Magic Revealed, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Gwen Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), all the poly, Because yes, Angst with a Happy Ending, Poor Merlin, someone make sure this bean doesn't blame himself for absolutely everything, Protective Gwen (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2021-06-28
Words: 2,096
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 41
Kudos: 2,365
Bookmarks: 327
Hits: 19,529
Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Merlin (Merlin), Gwen/Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin)
Destiny and Chicken [The Show on Channel 5]
The story-within-a-story in my fic "Channel 5". This is the TV show, written in script format.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Additional Tags: Modern Era, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Television, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Published: 2015-01-08
Words: 2,142
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 2
Hits: 226
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Will (Merlin), Freya (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elena (Merlin), Mithian (Merlin)
Lavender and Gardenias
Work page not found or no link in PDF; showing extracted metadata.
Merlin is in love with Prince Arthur. The only problem is that Arthur is in love with Guinevere. Arthur is head over heels in love with Merlin but is convinced the warlock is in love with Morgana, so Arthur is dating Guinevere to make them jealous. Merlin and Morgana aren’t in love, they just tend to pretend to make out to hide that they’re practicing magic together in secret Basically a fake dating au where both Merlin and Arthur are idiots (hence the "the love is requited, they're just idiots" tag) Notes See the end of the work for notes There was a knock at the door of Arthur’s chambers. “Enter,” Arthur said, not looking up from his reading. Merlin glanced up at the door from where he was grabbing Arthur’s riding clothes. Gwen entered the room, head held high. “Your Highness,” Gwen said. “The Lady Morgana would like to coordinate outfits with you for the upcoming feast tomorrow.” Merlin looked up at Gwen, the blood draining from his face. He would undoubtedly have to help with all the last minute preparations of said feast. Gwen gave him a sympathetic smile. At least they would be working together. “What possessed Morgana to do that?” Arthur asked, putting down his scroll. “What color was she thinking?” “Emerald green, Your Highness,” Gwen said, curtseying. Arthur’s lip curled in disgust. “Of course she chose green,” he muttered. “Alright. Tell Morgana that that is acceptable. Have Merlin help you with the arrangements.” Merlin looked at Gwen, biting back a groan. “Yes, Your Highness,” Gwen replied with a curtsey before leaving the room. Merlin put down Arthur’s riding clothes and followed after her. If Arthur complained, he only had himself to blame. “So what does this all entail?” Merlin asked. “We find Arthur an outfit in emerald that matches Lady Morgana’s dress.” “That would be easier if Arthur wore anything that wasn’t red,” Merlin grumbled. Gwen laughed as they strode down the halls. “Luckily the tailors already know Arthur’s measurements, it won’t be hard to have something made quickly.” “Is anything quick and easy when it comes to Arthur?” Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow. Gwen laughed again, inclining her head towards Merlin. “Good point. He does have some charming features to him, though.” Merlin’s stomach twisted. A sudden annoyance toward Gwen arose in his chest but he quashed it down. He didn’t want to feel ill will towards her, but it still sat there like a curled dragon, waiting to catch him off guard again. Likely that night when sleep eluded him. “Right,” Merlin muttered under his breath, quiet enough that he thought Gwen wouldn’t hear. Gwen tilted her head and studied him before deciding to pretend she hadn’t heard. Gwen and Merlin passed hurried servants with arms full of decorations and cleaning supplies. “We might also have to help prepare for the feast itself. I will, at least, since Morgana already has a dress.” “I can help. It’ll get me away from Arthur for a while and I’ll be of use for something other than target practice.” Gwen gave a small snort of laughter. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “It’s alright, everyone knows how much of a royal prat Arthur is. I would expect nothing less.” Gwen smiled and shook her head before knocking at the tailor’s door. Entering the room, she said, “Prince Arthur needs a formal outfit for the feast tomorrow.” The tailor nodded wearily. “The usual red?” “No, he’ll be coordinating with Lady Morgana. Emerald green.” “I’ll see what I can do,” the tailor said. “Sorry,” Merlin said. The tailor gave Merlin a weak smile, the bags under his eyes weighing down his entire frame with exhaustion. “Is there something wrong?” Gwen asked, resting a hand on the tailor’s arm. “You seem more exhausted and harried than usual.” “The Lady Morgana convinced King Uther to reinstate the servants’ ball, so I’m working overtime to make items for the servants as well.” “I’m sorry,” Gwen said. “What’s the servants’ ball?” Merlin asked. “It’s a celebration for the servants after the regular feasting activities. A ‘thank you’ of sorts for all the hard work the servants do,” Gwen explained. Merlin nodded. “Is it required?” “Not necessarily, but there will be better food than you get otherwise and I’m requiring you to come with me. We’ll coordinate outfits. I’m thinking a nice blue.” Merlin smiled. “Well then I guess you’re in luck because blue’s my favorite color.” “I’m glad, because I embroidered you a cloak, so there’s no backing out now.” Merlin blanched. “A cloak?” Gwen nodded. “It has stars on it, just wait until you see it.” “This feast was announced today, when did you have the time to make me a cloak?” Gwen shrugged. “A girl gets bored, you know. Besides, I thought it would make a nice Yule gift.” “How did you know my measurements?” Gwen smiled, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “A girl’s got to have her secrets, Merlin.” Merlin backed away slowly with wide eyes. Gwen laughed. “While you were out helping Arthur, I talked to Gaius. He let me into your room to get the measurements.” Merlin nodded despite his unease. What if she had seen his magic book? “Well, let’s leave the tailor to his work, there’s more to be done,” Gwen said. Merlin wordlessly followed her out and back into the bustling halls. “Do you have a dress for the servants’ ball?” Merlin asked. “I do. Lady Morgana gave it to me as a gift. It’s what inspired me to make your cloak.” “I’m flattered you made me a cloak,” Merlin said. “Of course,” Gwen said, hip checking Merlin. “We’re friends, that’s what friends do.” Merlin laughed. “Guess I better learn to sew, then,” he joked. “That’s unnecessary, but you could help me pick wildflowers to put around the castle,” Gwen said. Merlin nodded. “Sure.” “But for now, we have feast preparations and masters to tend to.” They strode down the halls quickly, Gwen rushing to a servant overburdened with boxes, grabbing the other side of the box. “Well, let’s get to work then,” Merlin said to himself, pushing up his sleeves. He lost Gwen in the commotion but he’d find her eventually. The feast, which was in full swing by then, was a boisterous affair. The bubbling anticipation of the servants’ ball was the only thing keeping all the servants awake as the party went on through the night. Morgana was certainly right, in emerald green, she and Arthur were a stunning picture of elegance and rivaled every other person at the party, even the dignitaries from the neighboring kingdom who had decided to descend upon Camelot so suddenly. But Arthur didn’t have eyes for Morgana. He kept looking over at where Merlin and Guinevere stood together, stunning visions in midnight blue, the lights of the candles catching on the gold and silver embroidered stars on their outfits. Merlin studied Arthur out of the corner of his eyes. Arthur’s gaze kept flitting to him and Gwen. He’s probably swooning over Gwen, Merlin thought bitterly as he filled goblets with wine. As the feasting ended, the band struck up a tune and the dancing began. Merlin watched the glittering nobles and their celebration, not able to do anything more than hold a wine pitcher and maybe shuffle his feet. Gwen bumped shoulders with him. “Cheer up, we’ll be dancing ourselves in a few hours.” “The food better be worth it,” Merlin grumbled. “It will be.” Eventually, the feast wound down and the nobles departed. Merlin helped Arthur undress and retire for the night, not bothering to take off his cloak. It was comfortable and smelled faintly of wildflowers. “Good night, Merlin,” Arthur said as Merlin snuffed out the candles. “Good night,” Merlin said, already on his way out the door. “That cloak suits you.” Merlin stopped, hand resting on the door handle. What was he supposed to say? “Thank you,” Merlin said before closing the door and walking away. He followed the groups of servants crackling with nervous excitement. They obviously knew the way. The less he had to think about where he was walking, the more he could ruminate on what Arthur had said. “Merlin,” Gwen said. He stopped walking, looking around. She popped up at his elbow, linking arms with him. “We have to make our grand entrance together.” Merlin nodded and let Gwen lead him through the castle. The servants’ ball wasn’t like the balls and feasts he was used to. It had the same food, cast offs and leftovers from the feast earlier in the evening, and everyone was dressed in their best, but there weren’t silver plates and a professional band, it was wooden trenchers and the cook had brought her harp. “We’re the best dressed here,” Merlin joked. “Of course we are, isn’t that the point?” Gwen and Merlin exchanged a grin. Gwen opened her hand to Merlin. “Shall we?” Merlin took her hand and let her lead him to the dance floor. They danced, Merlin letting Gwen lead, since she knew more about dancing than he did. They swirled through the dance floor much like Arthur and Morgana had earlier but a starry vision. End Notes This first chapter is short, but they'll get longer as they go on This was the inspiration for Merlin’s cloak and Gwen’s dress bc why not You can find us at pirates-and-candles and thehotasfuckgay on tumblr. Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/F, F/M, M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Morgana (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin)
Character: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Morgause (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Canon Era, lavender marriage, Not Canon Compliant, Merlin & Morgana Friendship (Merlin), morgana isn't evil, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Angst, but not a whole lot (hopefully), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), arthur is slightly more observant than in canon, Morgana Knows about Merlin's Magic (Merlin), they’re magic besties, arthur doesn’t know about morgana’s magic, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, The Love Is Requited They’re Just Idiots, this is a balinor lives only household, Period-Typical Homophobia, arthur finds out about morgana's magic, no beta we die like knights, Rating May Change
Published: 2021-11-03
Words: 1434
Chapters: 1/
forever winter if you go
“Believe me, Arthur," Merlin says, trying to convince Arthur, who looks outside the window into the grey sky."I don't know who and what to believe anymore, Merlin."Merlin's eyes widen in shock, and he stares at the back of Arthur's head."You can trust me, Arthur! And you know that!""Can I, Merlin?"
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Published: 2021-12-18
Words: 1,148
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 4
Kudos: 247
Bookmarks: 14
Hits: 3,056
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Dancing With Him
Merlin and Arthur attend Sophie's birthday party where Arthur meets someone new.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2015-04-21
Words: 1,210
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 4
Kudos: 121
Bookmarks: 3
Hits: 2,438
Of Many To Come
Merlin wasn't doing anything rash like erasing the memory completely, he was merely…burying it. It would simply be overlooked, almost like it wasn't important enough to think about. Arthur wouldn't be able to remember it, but Merlin would never be able to forget it.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Magic-Users, Pining Merlin, Poor Merlin, Memory Alteration, Repressed Memories, Memory Magic, Arthur Finds Out, Jealous Arthur, Protective Arthur, Minor Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, POV Merlin, Original Character(s), Attempted Sexual Assault, Arthur Saves the Day, Camelot, First Kiss, True Love's Kiss
Language: English
Published: 2015-04-26
Words: 5,676
Chapters: 2/2
Comments: 49
Kudos: 4,575
Bookmarks: 604
Hits: 67,761
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Leon (Merlin)
Completed: 2015-08-04
i wish to see you smile, full of happiness and love
It's a dangerous thing, devotion.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Dark Merlin (Merlin), Dark Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), not really dark arthur tbh, he's like, Grey Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), And like, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Soft Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Is Into Merlin's Smile (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), it's a thing that passes, not a big deal, it's a short fic how am i going to make it a big deal, how obsession can turn love a lil bit ugly, Someone dies, actually a lot of people die but it's like very very non graphic and mostly just said, Devotion, honestly this was born of my thoughts of how arthur and the way he is about merlin's smiles, arthur: i would do anything to see you smile, merlin: i would do anything for you, yup :D, this is a little soft tbh if we ignore the Dark bit of it lol, oh oh, Uther Pendragon Dies (Merlin), fun times :P, ummm - Freeform, Love, Friendship, at this point i dont even know what im tagging, like? it's such a short thing should i be tagging so mugh?, meh who cares i like tagging, so other things are that merlin is Very Very in love, Arthur Loves Merlin (Merlin), Merlin Loves Arthur (Merlin), They love each other
Language: English
Published: 2022-08-13
Words: 1,240
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 43
Kudos: 675
Bookmarks: 124
Hits: 4,767
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), other people i think?, i dont think so - Character
Merlin! I Think I Have Magic!
Arthur wasn’t sure exactly when it had started, but now he was sure of it. HE. HAD. MAGIC. It was the only way to explain all the falling branches and mysterious happenings around him. There were just too many coincidences to deny it any longer. But what was he to do?!His father could never find out. And what if Merlin learned he had magic and began to fear him? For now, Arthur was going to have to keep this secret to himself which is a lot easier said than done when he can barely control it.Or the five times Arthur thinks he’s using magic, and the one time he figures out what’s really going on. Get ready for another of my patent blend of comedy, fluff and hurt/comfort!
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Crack Treated Seriously, Getting Together, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Idiot Arthur Pendragon, Good Morgana (Merlin), Happy Ending, Merlin will never let Arthur forget this, Non-Explicit Sex, First Kiss, First Time
Language: English
Published: 2022-08-15
Words: 7,073
Chapters: 6/6
Comments: 196
Kudos: 1,720
Bookmarks: 225
Hits: 16,490
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Completed: 2022-09-29
Arthur's Caged Heart
"Merlin, can I speak with you, in private""Yes sire" Merlin says quickly rushing up to his room to hide his magic books under some clothes under his bed. He wishes he could clean his room more, this is not how he imagined his first time staying in his bedroom with Arthur.Arthur follows quickly behind him, he removes his cloak and neatly folds it and puts it on his lap as he sits on Merlin's bed with a creak. Mentally making a note to find a new bed for his servant.-or-Arthur is an idiot at literally everything that involves Merlin. Well that causes some trouble with the pair, and Arthur has to address some difficult realizations about himself and his servant
Rating: General Audiences
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Mild Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Jealous Arthur, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Unresolved Tension, Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin), Not Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Not Beta Read
Language: English
Published: 2022-11-22
Words: 5,103
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 280
Bookmarks: 25
Hits: 4,889
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Everything I do, ( I do it for you)
“Well, I was thinking -”, Arthur began, but Merlin interrupted him. As always.“YOU- thinking? Now I'm getting worried.”“My plans are always well thought through. Just so you know.”“I think we both know who of us does the thinking and what happens, when you leave me out of your plans.”Alternatively:Arthur makes a plan to get Percival and Gwaine together. His plan involved a fake relationship with none other than Merlin Emrys himself. His best friend.And crush, obviously. Yes, Arthur's plans are very well thought through.... as one can imagine
Rating: Not Rated
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends, Childhood Friends, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Merlin's Neckerchief (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Good Morgana (Merlin), Protective Arthur, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), First Kiss, First Love, Love at First Sight, Romance, Fluff, Coming Out, LGBTQ Themes, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Female Character of Color, Gay Merlin (Merlin), Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Elyan (Merlin), Aro/Ace Leon (Merlin), Pansexual Gwaine (Merlin), Aromantic Gwaine (Merlin), Panromantic Elena (Merlin), Asexual Elena (Merlin), Lesbian Morgana (Merlin), Bisexual Gwen (Merlin), Trauma, Childhood Trauma, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, read with caution, Experimentation, Non-Explicit, suppressed memories
Language: English
Published: 2021-10-06
Words: 79,634
Chapters: 10/10
Comments: 107
Kudos: 287
Bookmarks: 55
Hits: 7,593
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Sex
Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Elena/OC, Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Percival & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin & Morgana & Arthur Pendragon, Gwen & Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine & Percival (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Elena (Merlin), Mithian (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Cendred (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-12-10
Keep fit
Merlin doesn’t think that Arthur does enough exercise so he makes up a training program but little does he know that Arthur may have his own.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: exercise, Humor, Grumpy Arthur, Merlin being annoying in Arthur's view, arthur being a prat
Language: English
Published: 2015-08-08
Words: 2,269
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 11
Hits: 278
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Dreams are dangerous
Merlin has had a nightmare and Arthur comforts him.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Caring Arthur
Language: English
Published: 2015-08-12
Words: 514
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 60
Bookmarks: 1
Hits: 1,560
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Giving Up The Ghost
Work page not found or no link in PDF; showing extracted metadata.
The battle of Camlann is done, Arthur is mortally wounded and dealing with the revelation that Merlin is a sorcerer . His servant has magic. The one person he trusted more than any other had betrayed him…lied to him all these years. Merlin is determined to take his king to Avalon to be healed by the Sidhe. Over the two-day journey , Arthur slowly begins to realize that Merlin is still Merlin, magic or not. The most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth… his servant, his friend, and protector . When Mor gana catches up to them before they can reach A valon, Merlin makes the ultimate sacrifice for his king leaving Arthur reeling. Defying prophecy and forever altering the fate of the king and of Camelot. Notes My tribute to Merlin in honor of the T en-Y ear Anniversary of the finale. Long Live Merlin!!!! This is the story I have always wanted to write. From the POV of Arthur , his internal dialogue and emotional struggle with Merlin’ s confession that he is a sorcerer . The actual dialogue and story pretty much follows the final episode up to the point where Mor gana catches up to them. From there it takes a drastic turn, diver ging wildly from canon, and creating a whole new ending. Enjoy and I hope you all love it as much as I do. Feedback appreciated. If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Aftermath Arthur was drowning in pitch-black darkness. His eyelids were heavy . The pain was like a lightning bolt in his side. Mordred, how could he have been so stupid to trust the boy? So, this is how it is all meant to end…with yet another betrayal by someone he cared about, someone he trusted. Arthur Pendragon...trusting fool. It seemed that his faith in others was to be his undoing. Maybe his father had been right not to depend on others…to not trust anyone. Another image penetrated the darkness, a fleeting glimpse of the old sorcerer…Dragoon? Why would the old man help him? Why would a sorcerer fight for Camelot, the kingdom that had persecuted his kind for decades? It didn’ t make any sense. The old man had killed his father and now he was carrying him from the battlefield…how in the hell was a doddery old man able to bear his weight in full armor? And why was he crying? Guinevere, his beautiful queen, at least Camelot would be in good hands. He could go to the other world knowing that. She would be a great leader and Merlin would be at her side to help her just as he had been for Arthur . His reign was done. He could die knowing the kingdom was safe. He just needed to let go. Arthur huf fed a breath and opened his eyes swallowing hard. There was a crackling fire near his feet and a familiar figure crouched on the other side of the flames. He knew that ratty brown jacket. But how did Merlin even find him? Where was the old sorcerer? “Merlin,” Arthur said, amazed that his voice still worked. “How are you feeling?” Merlin asked, immediately moving to his side as Arthur tried to sit up. “Ah, ah mmm,” Arthur grabbed Merlin as pain tore through his body . Merlin gripped Arthur ’s forearm where it lay against his shoulder , desperate to keep that connection to his king. “Lie back…lie back,” he said, his voice thick with worry . “Where have you been?” “It doesn't matter now .” “Ah, my side…my side,” Arthur said his head fell back, face twisting in pain. “You are bleeding,” Merlin glanced down at the wound. “That's all right. I thought I was dying,” Arthur said every breath a struggle. Merlin looked at him again his blue eyes shining with tears, his face etched with worry . “I'm sorry . I thought I'd defied the prophecy . I thought I was in time.” “What are you talking about?” “I defeated the Saxons. The dragon. And yet...and yet I knew it was Mordred that I must stop,” Merlin said. Arthur patted Merlin’ s shoulder squeezing gently as his eyes widened, a slight smile on his face, “The person who defeated them was the sorcerer .” “It was me,” Merlin said fretfully , grasping Arthur's wrist as tears pooled in his eyes. “Don't be ridiculous, Merlin,” Arthur said, shaking his head slightly , “This is stupid, why would you say that?” He stared at him, struggling to grasp what Merlin was trying to say . “I'm a...” Merlin’ s voice faltered, tears sliding down his face as he struggled to find the words he had imagined saying to Arthur so many times. “I'm a sorcerer . I have magic. And I use it for you, Arthur . Only for you,” he spoke with a quiet ur gency . “Merlin, you are not a sorcerer . I would know!” “Look…here,” Merlin held out his hand, palm facing up, and uttered words that Arthur did not understand. Suddenly a familiar glowing orb of light formed, and Arthur's eyes widened in surprise as he remembered…all those years ago. He remembered that light. Arthur looked at Merlin as the truth seared his pain-addled mind. No, no, no, not Merlin… not the one person he trusted more than any other . Magic…Merlin had magic…it was not true…it couldn’ t be true. This was wrong…just wrong. Arthur wanted to run away , to put as much distance between himself and this person he thought he knew , but his body refused to cooperate. T urning his head, he looked for a way to escape knowing full well there was none...not from this. “Leave me,” Arthur breathed, his eyes wide with fear and pain, his mouth turned down in a deep frown, body trembling with cold and fear . “Arthur ,” Merlin said, his voice pleading for him to understand. “No, just...you heard. Just...” Arthur said his voice filled with desperation, sadness, and a bone-deep feeling of betrayal that dwarfed anything he had felt with Mor gana…worse even than when he had caught Guinevere and Lancelot together . He glanced back to see that Merlin had reluctantly moved away , putting distance between them. The anguish in his eyes was almost too much for Arthur to bear , but he could not bring himself to call him back. Arthur awoke to the sound of footsteps approaching, for a moment he felt panic, but then he had Merlin to protect him. Merlin…his liar of a servant. He could still scarcely believe it. Merlin…a sorcerer…a goddamn sorcerer . But then he always knew there was something about him. And hadn’ t Merlin all but admitted it that day in the council chambers? Admitted to being the one who healed Gwen’ s father . And yet Arthur had made fun of him, convinced everyone that he was a fool in love with Gwen. T urns out that, yet again, it was Arthur who was the fool. Keeping his eyes closed, Arthur listened to Gaius and Merlin saying something about Saxons, Comfrey , and Sticklewort whatever the hell that was. “Merlin, why don’ t you water the horses? And make sure they are fed, we can’ t hide here for much longer ,” Gaius said. Arthur waited until Merlin had walked away and then opened his eyes. He reached for Gaius, grabbing hold of his robe. “He’ s a sorcerer!” he said, and the older man just looked at him. “Y ou knew .” Of course, he knew , Arthur , you idiot. The man took Merlin in and cared for him. “Arthur , he is your friend,” Gaius said. “I want him gone.” “There is no need to fear him.” “Have him take word to Camelot. T o Guinevere.” “You cannot send Merlin. I will go.” “I need a physician right now , not a sorcerer .” “He can do far more than me, far more than you can ever imagine. Arthur , he doesn’ t just have magic…there are those who say he is the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth.” “Merlin?” Arthur said completely befuddled. Then he remembered what Gaius has told him after Mor gana kidnapped him. One day you will learn, Arthur . One day you will understand...just how much they've done for you . Merlin…Gaius had been talking about Merlin. One day he would understand just how much Merlin had done for him. Then he remembered what The Dolma said that day at the Cauldron of Arianrhod. One day , great King, you will r ecognize the true worth of those that surr ound you. Merlin was missing because she was Merlin. Merlin saved Gwen…it was his magic. Arthur felt shame and sadness begin to eclipse his anger . “If you are to stand any chance of survival, you'll need Merlin to help you, not me,” Gaius said, and Arthur turned his head to look in the direction Merlin had gone while the older man finished examining his wound. “Arthur , there is a fragment of sword embedded in your chest. It is not an ordinary blade. Y ou must trust Merlin.” “Trust Merlin,” Arthur huf fed a laugh rolling his eyes, “I’ll never trust him again.” “Merlin has always believed in you, Arthur…please believe in him…have faith in him. I always have,” Gaius said. “Arthur , there is little choice. Y our only hope for survival is the Lake of A valon and the Sidhe. For only their magic can save you.” “The Sidhe…magical beings are going to be willing to heal me?” “I cannot say for certain, but there is no other option.” “Very well,” Arthur said reluctantly , “I will allow him to take me to the Lake of A valon, but after everything…all the betrayals…this one hurts the most. Merlin…” “Arthur , Merlin did not betray you. He wanted to tell you the truth so many times. If anyone is to blame it is me. It was I who told him to keep his magic a secret.” “He could have told me after my father died…Merlin killed my father .” “You’re wrong, Arthur ,” Gaius said forcefully , “Merlin did not kill the king. He tried to heal him, but Mor gana had Agravaine put a necklace around his neck that reversed any healing magic tenfold. In trying to save Uther…” “Merlin killed him…” “I only discovered the necklace after , and it was too late to do anything. Merlin was devastated. He was so afraid that he had turned you against magic forever . That you would never know him for who he truly is. That is all he has ever wanted, Sire, to be accepted by you.” “This is too much,” Arthur said, “Leave me, please.” “I am truly sorry , Arthur ,” Gaius said then he got up and went of f to talk to Merlin leaving Arthur to deal with his jumbled emotions. The pain in his side had faded somewhat, due to whatever Gaius had given him, leaving him with little distraction from the internal turmoil. Merlin…his idiot servant and friend…had magic. All this time he kept his secret. Made a fool out of Arthur and for what? What was his goal? What did he want from him? “Arthur ,” Merlin said apprehensively , and Arthur turned his head to look at him. “W e need to leave at first light.” “I’ll decide,” Arthur said quietly . “I can't let you die.” “It doesn't change anything,” Arthur replied then turned his head closing his eyes. He listened as Merlin walked away . His eyes burning with unshed tears, he heard Gaius speaking to Merlin. “Let him sleep. It's late. Y ou cannot travel tonight,” Gaius said, “Y ou were right to tell him.” Arthur feels another punch to his gut. Merlin was right to tell him…he was wrong to have kept his damn magic a secret all these years. And Gaius…he lied to protect Merlin. He risked his life keeping the truth from Uther Pendragon. Arthur winced as a sharp pain radiated upward from his wound. Could he really trust Merlin to take him to some magical place? T o allow some magical beings to heal him? Merlin was there for him after his father died. Merlin was always there for him, by his side through thick and thin. Loyal, brave, and strong, and yet he was a liar . I didn't want you to feel that you wer e alone. Dammit, Merlin. How could you do this to me? Arthur grimaced as he tried to shift his position only to give up when the pain became too much to bear . “Stupid foolish idiot,” he muttered under his breath, not sure if he was speaking of Merlin or of himself…maybe both. The rustle of the wind through the trees, the crickets chirping, the sound and smell of the campfire. Arthur looked up at the sky and remembered a night not long ago when he and Merlin had camped out alone in the woods near the cave of The Disir . Everything her e... is so full of life. Every tr ee, every leaf. Every insect. It's as if the world is vibrating. As if everything is much mor e than itself. Merlin felt all that when Arthur could not because Merlin had magic. Why then did he tell Arthur that there could be no place for magic in Camelot? W ouldn’ t he want magic to be free? For him to be free? Mordred…Merlin wanted to stop Mordred. He knew…the prophecy…Mordred was destined to kill him. That explained the constant tension between his servant and the young knight. And why Merlin was so upset that Arthur did not kill Mordred when he had a chance to do so. Arthur ’s head hurt from thinking. His side hurt. His heart hurt. The more pieces that fell into place in the complex riddle that was his servant, the more he wanted to punch something. The clearer things became, the more he wanted to scream. He almost wished he had died on the battlefield rather than having to deal with all this. He didn’ t want to deal with this. Mercifully , he managed to drift of f to sleep at some point during the night. Arthur awoke at dawn to Merlin stomping out what remained of the fire. He groaned, moving his head, his eyes heavy with sleep. The constant pain in his side forced his mind to focus on something other than Merlin. “Arthur , we have to go now ,” Merlin said softly , crouching next to him, “Please, trust me.” “You want me to trust you?” Arthur scof fed. “Please, Arthur . When we get back to Camelot, I will take whatever punishment you choose…I don’ t care. Just let me take you to A valon.” “And if I were to order you to be burned on the pyre?” Arthur asked, staring at him fixedly . Merlin’ s shoulders lifted, his expression stoic, determined, “If that is what you decide, then I will accept it…I’ll even save you the trouble and light the fire myself.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, you idiot. As if I could ever watch you die.” Merlin gave him a half smile and then helped him up of f the ground, with dif ficulty , but he managed to get him to the horse and maneuvered him into the saddle helping him to sit upright. Arthur reached up dragging a leather cord over his head. “Gaius,” Arthur called out and the old physician approached, “Give this to Guinevere.” “It's the Royal Seal, sire,” Gaius said as Arthur placed it in his open palm “If I am to die, I can think of no one who I would rather succeed me.” Gaius covered his hand with his own and nodded before he walked toward Merlin. “You know he was betrayed. The girl, Eira cannot be trusted,” Merlin said in warning. “I know .” “How long does he have?” Merlin asked trying to keep his voice down, but Arthur heard him anyway . “At best, two days.” Merlin nodded then walked past Gaius toward Arthur . “Merlin,” Gaius said, and he stopped turning back to face the older man. Gaius hugged him tightly , “I'll have your favorite meal waiting for you. Now go. Look after him. Go.” Merlin stepped between the two horses gathering up the reins as Arthur glanced down at Gaius. Merlin then led them away turning to look back at his mentor a look of dread in his blue eyes. They traveled in silence, Arthur hated the silence, but neither did he want to talk. He felt the wariness and fear emanating from Merlin, his head constantly on a swivel, eyes wide and vigilant. Why was he doing this? Why did he care so much? If he truly was the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, he didn’ t need Arthur . He had never once asked for anything. He could have used his magic to get whatever he wanted, but he did not. Why? Crossing the plains, the weather was gloomy , the wind biting. Arthur sat hunched over the saddle shivering beneath his armor . Merlin looked back seeing two men riding quickly toward them. “Saxons!” he stopped his horse and dismounted. Scrambling to grab the rolled blanket from behind his saddle, he unfolded and draped it over Arthur . “I'll deal with them. Keep your head down. Don't speak.” Arthur grabbed the edges of the blanket pulling it tighter around him to hide his face as Merlin stepped away looking down into the wooded valley below . A puf f of smoke suddenly rose from the trees below . It reminded Arthur of a time long ago when the woman witnessed the horse in the smoke. He closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath that Merlin did not hear . “Help us!” Merlin called out waving both arms in the air at the approaching riders, “Please you have to help us. W e were ambushed.” The Saxons dismount and walk toward him. “By whom?” one of them asked. “These two men,” Merlin said. “What did they look like?” “Um...one was...a knight.” Merlin glanced back at Arthur seeing the exposed hilt of Arthur ’s sword. “They stormed our camp,” he said pointing toward the smoke to distract the Saxons while he hurried to cover it with the blanket before they turned around. “You're sure it was a Camelot knight?” “Yeah.” The Saxon pushed Merlin back as he stepped forward then yanked the blanket of f Arthur . Both men drew their swords. Arthur watched as Merlin’ s arms came up, hands outstretched and both men screamed as they were thrown violently backward. “You've lied to me all this time.” Merlin said nothing, he just turned, retrieved the blanket, and got back in the saddle. Arthur gripped the reins with one hand ur ging his horse to follow . His chest hurt even more from the shock of seeing Merlin use magic so openly . The display of his immense power only serving to fortify the sense of betrayal. They rode until dark, then Merlin helped Arthur of f his horse and down onto his bedroll which he had placed near the base of a tree so that his upper body was slightly elevated to keep the pressure of f his wound. Arthur watched as he gathered wood. After several minutes of failed attempts to start a fire with flints, Arthur huf fed a breath. “Why don’ t you use magic?” Arthur asked. “Habit, I suppose,” Merlin said, looking at him questioningly . Arthur nodded then watched as his servant’ s eyes turned gold and the wood burst into flame. “Feels strange.” “Yeah,” Arthur said flatly , eyeing Merlin as he stood and went to grab his own bedroll. “I thought I knew you.” Merlin met his gaze, “I’m still the same person.” “I trusted you.” “I'm sorry ,” Merlin said, his eyes flickering with sadness, regret, and something else Arthur could not decipher . “I'm sorry too.” Merlin looked at Arthur then got up, moving toward him, and proceeded to remove his boots. “What are you doing?” “They need drying,” Merlin said positioning the boots near the fire just as he had done countless times in the past then returned to his bedroll. “This will be good for you. Y ou need to eat,” Merlin said, supporting Arthur ’s head as he tried to get him to eat. “Why are you doing this?” Arthur asked and Merlin placed the spoon back in the bowl. “Why are you still behaving like a servant?” Merlin sat the bowl down on the ground. “It's my destiny . As it has been since the day we met,” he said giving his king a slight smile. “I tried to take your head of f with a mace.” “And I stopped you, using magic.” “You cheated!” “You were going to kill me,” Merlin shrugged. “I should've.” “I'm glad you didn't. I do this because of who you are. W ithout you, Camelot's nothing.” “There was a time when that was true. Not now . There are many who can fill the crown.” “There will never be another like you, Arthur . I also do this...” Merlin rested the bowl on his knee, supporting Arthur's head as he got him to take a bite of the soup, “Because you're my friend and I don't want to lose you.” Arthur could feel himself weakening. It was all he could do to remain upright on the bent tree he was sitting on while Merlin prepared the horses. Pulling a waterskin from his saddlebag, Merlin turned just in time to see Arthur slump over and hurried to his side to catch him before he fell. “Arthur , you need to hold on. One more day. One more day ,” he said as he wiped Arthur's head with a cloth. He then put the cloth down and removed the top from the waterskin. “Why did you never tell me?” Arthur asked. “I wanted to, but...” “What?” “You'd have chopped my head of f,” Merlin said then gave Arthur a drink of water . “I'm not sure what I would've done.” “And I didn't want to put you in that position.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “That's what worried you?” “Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me…I was born to serve you, Arthur . And I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't change a thing,” Merlin said then he looked at Arthur , “Ready?” Arthur nodded then Merlin helped him to stand, and they moved toward the horses. Merlin was leading the way when he suddenly stopped and held up his hand. Arthur stopped as they both saw the smoke from a campfire through the trees just ahead. “Saxons?” Arthur asked, then watched as Merlin clearly did something. His shoulders visibly relaxed a moment later . “They're long gone.” “How do you know?” “I can see the path ahead,” Merlin said, and Arthur immediately remembered the impenetrable forest and how Merlin got them through it and to the Dark T ower to rescue Guinevere. “So, you're not an idiot. That was another lie.” “No, it’ s just another part of my charm,” Merlin grinned then nudged his horse forward and Arthur followed. It wasn’ t long before they both heard riders and men approaching from the other direction. Merlin held his hand up and looked around then nodded to their right. “In there,” he said, and they rode of f the path and up an incline into a stand of trees. Arthur stood with his back against the tree for support while Merlin watched the approaching riders. He moved around the tree realizing that their tracks would be seen. “ Andslyht !” he said and out of nowhere a breeze picked up the leaves, covering over their trail. The Saxons stopped and looked around. Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold making the bushes across the trail rustle. “This way ,” one of the men shouted and they moved of f in the other direction. “You've done this before,” Arthur said, remembering the wind in Ealdor as Merlin turned to look at him. “All these years, Merlin…you never once sought any credit.” “It's not why I do it,” Merlin said, “Come on.” He then draped Arthur ’s arm over his shoulders and helped him back to their horses. They hadn’ t gone far when Merlin looked back to see Arthur slumped over the side of his horse. “Arthur!” Merlin immediately dismounted and went to his side helping him to sit upright. “I can't go on.” “There's not far to go. W e need to reach the lake before dawn.” “No, Merlin. No.” “All right. W e rest for an hour .” It didn’ t take long for Merlin to get a fire going. He glanced over at Arthur where he sat on the ground leaning back against a dead tree. He moved to sit on the log and gave him a drink of water . Arthur looked up at Merlin. “Merlin, whatever happens...” “Shh...don't talk.” “I'm the King, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do,” Arthur said with just a glimmer of amusement in his pain-filled eyes in an echo of their familiar banter . “I always have. I'm not going to change now .” “I don't want you to change. I want you...to always...be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you.” “Does that mean you're gonna give me a day of f?” “Two,” Arthur said. “That's generous,” Merlin said then as Arthur's head lolled and fell forward, he checked his pulse. “Get some sleep,” he whispered then looked around warily silently praying. Merlin had a very bad feeling as he looked up at the moon. He went to Arthur ’s side, shaking him gently . “W e need to get moving,” Arthur barely opened his eyes, and Merlin shook him again. “Arthur . We've wasted enough time.” The sun was just coming up when they stop to rest again. Merlin helped Arthur of f the horse and lowered him down to the ground up against a rock. He nodded toward the view of the lake below . “Avalon. W e'll get there,” Merlin said and a moment later the horses whinnied and spooked taking of f. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he shouted but they were gone. “Hello, Emrys,” Mor gana’ s voice came from behind him, and he turned around. Mor gana’ s eyes flash and he was thrown across the clearing. Arthur instinctively reached for his sword, but it was not there. Mor gana approached him like a predator stalking her prey . “What a joy it is to see you, Arthur . Look at you…not so tall and mighty now ,” she gave him a smug smile, “Y ou may have won the battle, but you've lost the war . You're going to die by Mordred's hand. But don't worry , my dear brother , I won't let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you until the wolves gor ge on your carcass and bathe in your blood.” “No, the time for all this bloodshed is over ,” Merlin said, and Mor gana spun around standing to face him. “I blame myself for what you've become...but this has to end.” “Please, as if you can stop me, Merlin. Besides, it is too late,” Mor gana smiled, “Arthur is dying. Y our beloved king cannot be saved no matter what you do to me.” “No!” Merlin said, his eyes darkening with rage and desperation. “Poor Emrys…with all your magic, you have still failed Arthur…failed Camelot.” Mor gana glared at him, her voice sharp as a blade, “Y our decisions brought us here. Y ou chose to sacrifice everyone else for the man you love.” Mor gana relaxed her shoulders and let out a sigh, “Ironic isn’ t it…that your obsession with protecting my brother will end in his death despite all you have done to prevent it. Merlin met Arthur ’s pained gaze as the king shook his head. “Merlin—Merlin don’ t listen to her…Mor gana is wrong,” Arthur said pleadingly , and Merlin gave him a ghost of a smile. “No, she’ s right,” Merlin smiled sadly , and Arthur ’s eyes went wide, “I love you, Arthur . I cannot let you die…” “Merlin!” Arthur shouted. He watched Merlin’ s eyes turn bright gold as he lunged forward wrapping a startled Mor gana in his embrace. T ilting his head back, he uttered a spell that had her screaming at the top of her lungs as they were trapped in a swirling wind. “Merlin, no!” Arthur tried to get to his feet, but he was too weak. He could only watch in horror as the vortex became a twisted, writhing form of darkness and light…ripping what could only be magic from their very souls creating a wave of power that rolled outward from their cores. A wave that washed over the land and hit Arthur full force then everything went black… Destiny Be Damned “My Lord,” Arthur struggled to open his eyes as he heard a familiar voice. “Arthur…you’re alive, Merlin saved you,” Percival said his huge hands trembling as he gently shook the king. “Merlin,” Arthur said softly , “Merlin!” he shouted gripping Percival’ s arm. “Where is he?” he asked trying to see past his knight, but Percival was using his body to keep Arthur from seeing the aftermath of whatever Merlin had done to save him. “Let me up…let me go!” “Sire, don’ t…Arthur , he’s—he’ s gone,” Percival choked on the words, “They are both gone.” “No!” Arthur said shoving the knight aside with surprising strength considering he had been on the ver ge of death. He pushed himself up of f the ground. Stumbling forward, he landed on his knees next to Merlin’ s motionless body . “Merlin, no, you cannot leave me. I was meant to die, not you. Dammit…Merlin,” he shouted, dragging his friend into his arms and cradling him. “Merlin—Merlin please…come on. I need you!” Arthur pressed his fingers to Merlin’ s neck praying he would find a heartbeat but there was nothing. He pressed their foreheads together . A deep, guttural cry of grief came out of him startling Percival who hovered nearby uncertain of what to do for his king. “Merlin!” Arthur shouted shaking him, “Y ou idiot…why did you do this? Y ou did not have to die for me, I never wanted this. I am so sorry…so sorry , Merlin. I love you too…I never told you. I should have told you.” Percival swiped at his tears with the back of his hand, stunned by the king’ s words to Merlin. Everyone had known there was a unique and powerful bond between Arthur and Merlin, but to hear Arthur express it in such a way was heart-wrenching. Arthur held Merlin, rocking him gently , his hand splayed wide across his chest. He shook his head tears streaming down his face. He spared a glance at Mor gana, his dead sister , and realized that he felt no anger only sadness and regret. He had let her down, failed her in every way imaginable. He failed her and he had failed Merlin. “I’m sorry—so sorry ,” Arthur choked drawing Merlin against him. He got his feet underneath him and stood up, lifting Merlin from the ground. Percival stepped forward to help him, but the king shook his head. “No,” Arthur said then carried Merlin toward the lake. “Your Highness,” Percival said, “Y ou cannot carry him…it’ s too far .” “I must get Merlin to A valon, the Sidhe will heal him…bring him back to me,” Arthur said, his voice edged with determination. “I cannot lose him.” “Sire, look!” Percival said pointing up into the sky . Arthur looked up as the Great Dragon soared overhead. “My sword!” he bellowed as he gently lowered Merlin to the ground. The dragon circled once then landed in front of them his eyes focused on Merlin and only Merlin. “Merlin?” the dragon said, startling Arthur and Percival. “You can speak?” Arthur asked. “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon rumbled. “What do you want? What business do you have here?” “Merlin…he is dead.” “He—he gave his life for me. I do not know what he did. Mor gana…” “The witch is dead,” the dragon growled. “Yes, magic…” The dragon bowed his head. “Y oung W arlock, I never meant for this…” he said, “This was not your destiny , Merlin.” Arthur stared at the massive creature and for some reason, he felt no fear . There was obviously something…a bond between him and Merlin that he clearly did not understand and at the moment he did not want to know . “Can you help him?” Arthur asked, desperation in his voice. “I cannot…perhaps if he still had his magic, but it is gone. His immortality is gone.” “Immortality?” Arthur asked, his mouth dropping open, “Y ou’re saying he was meant to live forever , and he gave it all up for me?” “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon said, “Y ou were meant to die, and Merlin was meant to live on, waiting for your return when Albion needed you most.” Arthur dropped to his knees next to Merlin and caressed his cheek. “Merlin, dammit,” he choked on his breath and tears slid down his face again. “Y ou weren’ t supposed to die for me.” “There is nothing you can do, Great King,” the dragon said, “Merlin is gone.” “What was that? What did he do?” Arthur asked. “The spell Merlin used to destroy the witch, it separated them both from their magic forcing it from their souls and casting it out over the land. It healed you, healed me…I was dying. It is why I was unable to come when Merlin called me.” “Called you?” Percival asked the question before Arthur could get it out. “Merlin is—was the last of his kind…the last of the Dragonlords. Like his father before him.” “His father? Balinor was Merlin’ s father?” Arthur asked, his eyes wide. “Yes, Arthur ,” the dragon said, “His gift was passed down to Merlin when he died.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “So many secrets…such a heavy burden he carried. And for what?” “For you, King Arthur .” “This cannot be. I cannot lose him…he’ s my friend!” “And yet it is done. Merlin made his choice. He chose to die for you.” “I did not ask for this. I would never…please, there must be someone who can bring him back.” “I am sorry , there is nothing that can be done. His magic is gone from his body .” Arthur lifted Merlin from the ground and looked up at the dragon. “If I can get him to Avalon, the Sidhe could heal him.” The dragon shook his head, “The Sidhe are powerful, but even they cannot bring Merlin back. I am truly sorry , Arthur . Merlin is gone. W ithout his magic…” “Then bring it back!” Arthur shouted. “It has been returned to where it came from.” “Where is that?” “The earth…the sky…the sea,” the dragon said, “Merlin was born with magic…he was magic. W ithout it, he cannot exist.” Arthur struggled to hold on to Merlin’ s body refusing Percival’ s continued attempts to help. He looked up at the dragon. “I am supposed to just let him go?” he asked. “I am afraid you have no other choice.” Arthur dropped to his knees again holding Merlin in his arms. His hands trembling. He shook his head slowly then pressed his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender kiss. He choked back a sob and gathered Merlin close. “Gods, I am so sorry , Merlin…please for give me,” he gasped. “For give me…” he cried out, gently shaking his friend’ s lifeless body . The sound of an approaching rider had Percival drawing his sword. He crept slowly back in the direction they had come thinking it could be one of Mor gana’ s Saxons. Instead, a figure emer ged from the woods and stopped cold as he saw them. “Arthur!” Gwaine exclaimed and Percival nearly dropped his sword in shock, “Arthur , thank the Gods you’re alive.” “Gwaine, you were…you were dead,” Percival stuttered. “Yes, and then I wasn’ t,” Gwaine grinned, but as he came closer , he saw who Arthur was holding in his arms. “Merlin…Merlin, no, no, no,” he choked stumbling forward and dropping to his knees beside his best friends. “What—what happened?” he asked. “Merlin…” Arthur choked, unable to get the words out. “Merlin’ s magic was released,” the dragon responded instead, and Gwaine barely looked at him, “It healed me and apparently brought you back to life, Sir Gwaine.” “Dammit, Merlin, I knew it…I knew you were special,” Gwaine said, his shoulders vibrating as tears pooled in his eyes, “Y ou cannot be dead.” “It’s all my fault,” Arthur whispered shaking his head. “Mor gana?” Gwaine asked. “Dead,” Percival said. “Merlin killed her , and he destroyed himself in the process. For me.” He smiled sadly as he tenderly stroked Merlin’ s face then smoothed his dark hair . “I will honor you, Merlin. I will be the king you saw in me all along…I will do it for you…” He closed his eyes tightly against the tears and shook his head. “Merlin…” he sobbed and Gwaine reached over to place a comforting hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “Arthur ,” Percival said, “Should we take Merlin home now?” Arthur looked up at him then the dragon and shook his head. “No, Merlin is magic. I will not see him burn on a funeral pyre in the square. W e will take him to the lake. Something deep inside me says that is where he belongs.” “Gwaine and I will round up the horses and take you there,” Percival nodded then he and Gwaine headed back into the woods. “You are right, Arthur ,” the dragon said, “A valon is where Merlin belongs.” “You said there was a prophecy that I would return, and he would be waiting for me.” “That is true.” “Then it is possible he could return as I would have. I will wait for him,” Arthur said, his eyes filled with intense emotion. “Arthur…” the dragon shook his head. “I will wait for him!” “Very well, Great King.” Arthur looked at Merlin again and nodded, “I will wait for you, Merlin. As long as it takes.” The sky was a blazing fire, the sun was setting over the Lake of A valon as Merlin’ s body was laid out on a bed of reeds, greenery , and flowers in a wooden boat. Arthur stood on the shore with his sword in hand, the sword Merlin had made for him. For ged in a dragon’ s breath… Kilgharrah told him the truth about its creation and its purpose. Merlin had given him the sword when he needed it most, helped him to find his confidence again…to believe in himself when all things seemed hopeless. He held it reverently , the blade glowing in the light of the sunset. “Arthur ,” Gwaine said, looking at him intently , “Ready?” Arthur approached the boat and looked down at Merlin, “I will see you again, Merlin.” He brushed his hand along the side of his face then leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s. He stepped back and after Gwaine and Percival said their goodbyes, they pushed the boat of f the shore then the three of them watched it drift out on the current. The Great Dragon flew overhead swooping down to set the boat on fire and Arthur ’s stood there watching it burn, feeling like his heart was shattered. Not even the pull of Camelot and the longing to see Guinevere again could make him leave that spot at that moment. His Merlin was gone…the other half of his soul. He felt the pang of regret and loss, but more than that he longed to be able to tell Merlin what he truly meant to him. No one would ever be able to fill the void he left behind. Percival and Gwaine were reluctant to leave him alone, but finally walked back to their camp and the warmth of the fire, and Arthur was left to his grief watching the boat burn and vanish beneath the water ’s surface. “Arthur ,” a woman’ s voice called out, seeming to come from the lake, “Arthur , do not worry . I shall watch over him for he was my love as well.” “Who are you?” he asked. “I am Freya, Arthur , Merlin saved me, he loved me, and he loved you, My King.” Arthur smiled, his eyes shining in the waning light. “T ell him…” he said his voice breaking. “He knows, Arthur…he has always known.” “Thank you.” “Live well and honor his sacrifice, Arthur .” “I will, I swear ,” he nodded, “Freya, will he ever return?” “That I do not know ,” she said. “Of course,” Arthur said softly then slowly turned and walked toward the camp. His wound may have been healed, but he still felt like he had a gaping hole in the middle of his chest. A hole that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Gwaine looked up at him as he approached, and Arthur could see the haunted look in his eyes. He had died and come back and his best friend who brought him back was dead. They would never get over the loss of Merlin. No one in Camelot would. “I’m not even going to ask if you’re all right,” Gwaine said as Arthur sat down across the fire from him. “I know you’re not because I’m definitely not, and Merlin…” his voice trailed of f as tears pooled in his eyes and he ran a hand through his long hair . Arthur gave him a sad smile and nodded, “One thing…when I went to the Perilous Lands, the man on the bridge called me Courage and said that in order to complete my quest I would need Strength and Magic…now I know what he meant. I needed you and Merlin…Strength and Magic.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh and nodded wiping the tears from his eyes. “Part of me wishes I was still dead…I would gladly die so Merlin could live.” “No, Gwaine…” Percival said softly . “Merlin would want you to live,” Arthur said as he added wood to the fire. “The selfless idiot,” Gwaine shook his head his lips parting in a fond smile. “Gwaine, you took Merlin somewhere…before the battle,” Arthur said and Gwaine nodded. “Yes, he was searching for something. I knew something was wrong. W e went to the V alley of the Fallen Kings, to a cave. Along the way , we were attacked by bandits, and Merlin was knocked to the ground. He cried out for me, his voice filled with such fear…I had never seen him so afraid, so uncertain.” “A cave?” Percival asked, “Y ou mean the Crystal Cave…” “You know of it?” “Only the stories. It was said that the place was magical…actually the birthplace of all magic.” “Why did Merlin go there?” Arthur asked. “He must have been looking for magic,” Gwaine said, “The panic he felt when the bandits attacked, he must have lost his magic and needed to get it back before he could join you at Camlann, Arthur . It is the only thing that makes sense. I asked him how he would get back to Camelot without me to protect him, he told me that if he found what he was looking for , he would be perfectly safe.” “Gods, I was such a fool,” Arthur shook his head, “Before he left, he told me that he had vital supplies to obtain for Gaius…I didn’ t believe him.” Running his fingers through his hair he let out a pained sound. “I all but called him a coward…all because he would not be coming with me. I was so stupid. I should have known…” “You can’ t blame yourself, Arthur ,” Gwaine said. “The look in his eyes…I really hurt him. I should have realized he was in trouble, but I was too focused on my own selfish needs.” “Why didn’ t he just tell us?” Gwaine asked shaking his head, “W e were his best friends. W e would have protected him.” “I asked him that,” Arthur said, “And he told me he was afraid that I would chop of f his head. That he never wanted to put me in a position to have to choose between Camelot’ s laws and him. T o be forced to lie to my father for him.” “You would have done so gladly ,” Percival frowned, “Y ou would never have let any harm come to him.” “It is my fault for not telling him what he meant to me.” “You should have knighted him,” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “Sir Merlin,” Percival huf fed a laugh. Gwaine fell silent staring into the flames. Arthur poked at the fire with a stick. Merlin’ s constant prattle used to fill the silence. Now , it was just silence…an overwhelming, dark, and cold silence. The king closed his eyes reaching into his memories for moments to fill the void. He chuckled softly and shook his head. “Merlin,” Arthur said, tears glinting in his eyes even as he was overcome with mirth. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, fearing his friend was crossing the line into madness. “Merlin…the old sorcerer was Merlin. I just remembered when he was captured and brought in front of my father . He called him a stupid arrogant old tyrant right to his face. He saved Guinevere from the pyre, almost getting himself burned at the stake instead, and the entire time I thought he was in the tavern.” Gwaine chuckled, “Y ou know he was rarely ever in the tavern.” “I realize that now . All the times I thought he was drinking himself stupid he was using magic to save me and Camelot.” Percival returned then, having gone to gather more wood. He dropped it on the ground and sat down. “Y ou’re telling me, that old sorcerer in the battle was Merlin?” he asked. “Yes, Dragoon, he was Merlin…and the Dolma,” Arthur laughed. “The Dolma?” Gwaine asked. “The sorceress at the Cauldron of Arianrhod where we took Guinevere to free her of Morgana’ s dark magic. Merlin could not use his magic in front of me and he could not be Dragoon for obvious reasons, so he became an old woman.” “Merlin turned himself into a woman?” Percival asked raising an eyebrow . “Not sure if he actually was a woman or just looked like one, but he was convincing,” Arthur smiled, “No wonder The Dolma got upset when we nearly for got Merlin.” “You for got him,” Gwaine said. “Not exactly , well yes, but in my own defense, my mind was on Guinevere and getting her back to Camelot. I came so close to losing her . Merlin knew even before I did that something was wrong with her . He always knew .” “Because he was a servant,” Percival said. “Servants are invisible, they see things that others miss,” Gwaine shrugged. “That and he knew Guinevere well, she was his first friend in Camelot,” Arthur shook his head. “So many things make sense now that didn’ t before. How did I not realize that he had magic?” “I knew there was something about him. I even remember the man at the bridge calling him Magic, but I didn’ t put it all together until now ,” Gwaine frowned. “How many times?” Percival asked, “How many times did Merlin save you?” “I don’ t know ,” Arthur said then tossed his stick on the fire, “I guess now I’ll never know .” “I can’ t wait to get back to Camelot and drink myself into oblivion,” Gwaine said. “Yeah,” Percival nodded. “Gaius,” Arthur shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes tightly , “How am I going to tell Gaius…Merlin was like a son to him. He is going to be devastated.” “I will tell him,” Gwaine said. “No, it is my responsibility . I will tell him. Gods…Hunith…” “Merlin’ s mother . I could go to Ealdor , Arthur ,” Gwaine said. “This is going to kill her . Merlin was her entire world,” Arthur dropped his head into his hands. “We will return to Camelot with you, Sire, then Gwaine and I can go to Ealdor to inform her.” Arthur ’s shoulders vibrated as a desperate and anguished cry slipped out before he could stop it. He brought his arms up hands clasped behind his neck as the dam broke and he came apart at the seams unable to stop the deluge. Gwaine got to his feet and moved to Arthur ’s side, “Arthur , it’s all right…just let it out.” Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions under control. “I can’ t—can’ t do this. I am the king…I should be stronger ,” he said as he rocked forward closing his eyes tightly . Gwaine wrapped his arm around Arthur ’s neck patting his chest. “You loved Merlin, Arthur , no one can expect you to hold all this in and not lose it. Better to let it out now when it is just us, yeah?” Arthur leaned into Gwaine, “I need him back…I want Merlin back.” “I know ,” Gwaine said meeting Percival’ s gaze, “W e will find a way to get through this.” “Drunken stupor?” Arthur asked. “If that’ s what it takes,” Percival said, and Arthur attempted a smile. “He wasn’ t supposed to die…not for me…not like this.” “Merlin would have done anything for you, Arthur . You know that. Knowing now that he had magic, I am certain it was him that night in the square. He escaped from the dungeon and used magic to extinguish all the flames so he could slip by us in the darkness and get to you when you were dying from the poison. There is no other explanation. Merlin saved you that night then somehow made his way back to his cell without us noticing.” “I gave all the credit to Gaius,” Arthur said rolling his eyes, “Gods, Merlin…” “The point is, Merlin would always choose death if it meant that you would live on to fulfill your destiny . He saw a chance and took it.” “Mor gana…she was my sister and yet I feel nothing for her .” “After all she did to you and your people, it is understandable,” Percival said. “Merlin said he blamed himself for what she had become. Mor gana told him it was his decisions that brought us here…he had been so focused on protecting me that he brought about the very thing he was trying to prevent. When he and I went to the Disir , Merlin betrayed his own heart. He said I should not allow magic back in Camelot believing that Mordred would die. He wanted him to die because he knew he was destined to kill me.” “That is the way with prophecy ,” Percival said, “Just because it is foretold does not mean it will come to be.” “Mordred lived and Merlin was forced to remain in darkness hiding who he truly was,” Arthur said, “I knew there was tension between the two of them, I had no idea why .” Gwaine frowned, “Leon and I interrupted something between them in the corridor one day they were in heated conversation. Mordred was clearly furious, he stormed of f. Merlin just said it was nothing, but we did not believe him.” Arthur closed his eyes for a moment then tilted his head back looking up at the night sky . “The burden Merlin was forced to carry on his shoulders. He must have felt so alone all these years…isolated. He had only Gaius and the damn dragon to turn to.” “Sire, you should try to get some sleep. W e can head back to Camelot at first light,” Percival said. Arthur nodded, wiped his eyes then let out a ragged breath. Gwaine stood up, getting his bedroll laying it out next to the fire and Arthur laid down on it. It took hours for him to finally fall asleep. And in his dreams, he saw Merlin smiling. “Merlin,” Arthur said in his sleep. Remember me, Arthur…r emember me and I will always be. Arthur jolted upright pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. Gwaine was awake keeping watch for Saxons that might still be in the area. “Arthur?” “I’m all right, just…” “What?” “Merlin…he spoke to me in my dream.” Gwaine smiled, “Y ou see, he will always be with you.” “I know he will be.” “The sun is coming up, Y our Highness, we should return to Camelot,” Percival said as he got up to pack their few belongings and take care of the horses. “Ready?” Gwaine asked placing a hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “No,” Arthur said getting to his feet anyway , “The thought of returning to Camelot without Merlin…it’ s just so hard to imagine not having him there. He became such an important part of the kingdom. People loved him.” “Then it is our job to make sure they never for get him and the sacrifices he made,” Gwaine smiled. Arthur nodded his lips parting in a soft smile, “Let’ s go home.” “My Lady ,” Leon said as he burst into the council chambers, “The king…he has been seen approaching Camelot. He is with Gwaine and Percival. He is alive!” “Oh, thank God,” Gwen gasped then followed Leon out, heading for the courtyard. She descended the steps just as Arthur rode through the gates coming toward her with Gwaine and Percival riding just a step behind. She watched the gates fully expecting to see Merlin. He had done it…he had saved Arthur . When Merlin did not appear , she met Arthur ’s gaze and her heart dropped. “No, no, not Merlin,” she cried, shaking her head. Arthur dismounted and she immediately flew into his arms. He held her tightly burying his face in her dark hair to hide his grief from the people. She cupped the back of his head holding him, feeling every shudder…every barely restrained sob. “Arthur ,” Gwen said, “Shh, my love. Y ou are home…you are alive.” “Merlin…” Arthur choked. “He saved you.” “Guinevere, he was a sorcerer .” “I know ,” Gwen smiled through her tears, drawing back to frame his face with her hands, “I know he had magic. He was always by your side, protecting you. What happened, Arthur?” “Mor gana caught up to us, she…Merlin killed her , she is dead. He brought us peace, but it cost him his life. In destroying her , he destroyed himself. It wasn’ t supposed to be…it was not his destiny . I was meant to die, Guinevere.” “But you did not, and I am so happy and grateful. I could not live without you, Arthur . Merlin gave his life for you and for that he will be honored.” “I want him back.” “I know , so do I, Arthur . Come inside, let’ s get you some food and you can rest.” Arthur shook his head, “There is something I must do first. I need to tell Gaius. And I need to write a letter to Hunith. Gwaine and Percival are going to ride to Ealdor to…to tell her that her son is dead.” “Sire,” Leon said, “I will go. Gwaine and Percival need food and rest as well. I will leave immediately .” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her…tell her that I am sorry . Gods, I should go…I should be there. Merlin was my best friend. I should be the one…” Leon put a hand on Arthur's shoulder , “You are clearly exhausted, My Lord, let me do this for you. I will bring Hunith back with me then you can speak with her in person.” “All right, Leon, thank you. T ake a few men with you. I do not want you going alone.” “We will leave within the hour , Arthur ,” Leon gave a nod then watched as Arthur climbed the steps with Gwen’ s arms around him. Percival and Gwaine gave Leon a grateful nod and then followed. Hearing the commotion in the square, Gaius was just coming around the corner when Gwen and Arthur came up the stairs and Arthur stopped when he saw him. The old physician looked past them and shook his head. “Where is Merlin?” he asked. “Gaius…” Arthur said his voice soft, eyes shining with tears, “Merlin…” “No, no, it can’ t be,” Gaius gasped, “Not Merlin…” “I’m so sorry , Gaius. He saved me. Merlin—Merlin is gone…he’ s dead.” Gaius stumbled back a step to lean against the wall, clutching his chest. Gwaine and Arthur both rushed forward to steady him and ease him down onto a bench. His hands were shaking violently as he closed his eyes. “What—what happened?” he asked. Arthur crouched down in front of him and grasped his shoulder . “Mor gana caught up to us. Merlin did something, I am not exactly sure what, but Kilgharrah said that his magic and Morgana’ s was returned to the earth the sea, and the sky . Merlin gave up his magic and his immortality…for me. I am so sorry , Gaius. It was not supposed to happen like this. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gaius shook his head, “I should have known. Merlin always said he would gladly die for you, Arthur . He loved you.” “I know—I know he did. He told me,” Arthur said, gently squeezing Gaius’ shoulder . “Did he suf fer?” Gaius asked his voice breaking. Arthur shook his head, “It all happened so fast. I tried to get to him, but this wave of magic…it washed over the land. It healed me and Kilgharrah and it brought Gwaine back to life. God knows what else it did. I have never seen anything like it, Gaius.” “I had no idea Merlin even knew of such a spell,” Gaius said. “Leon is riding out with some men within the hour to Ealdor .” “I should go with them,” Gaius said, “Hunith trusted me to protect her son and I failed.” “No, Gaius, it was I who failed,” Arthur said, “Not you. I should have known long ago…I should have seen the burden Merlin carried. No one is to blame but me.” “Arthur , it was I who ur ged Merlin to hide his magic. I wanted to keep him safe.” “And you did, Gaius. Y ou took him in, and you were there for him when no one else was. You treated him like a son, and I know he was grateful for that. I know the truth now , about his magic, about Balinor . I for gave him, I accepted him, and I told him as much before he died. My only regret is I did not tell him how much he meant to me, and how much I loved him. For Merlin, I am going to lift the ban on magic. And while I know it is of little consolation, I want to honor him and his sacrifice. Merlin will never be for gotten, and the people will know who he truly was and what he meant to their king.” “Thank you, Arthur ,” Gaius nodded, tears in his eyes, “Merlin wanted so badly for you to see him for who he was, and you should know that it pained him to keep his secret, from you especially .” “Merlin once asked me if I would call him a hero if he died. I should have told him then, but I was a fool. I failed to appreciate him. He was always there for me. Magic aside, he was the one person I knew I could always count on. He was a hero in every way .” “For what it is worth, Sire, Merlin felt the same. Even though he kept his secret, he did trust you. He gave all that he was for you.” “I know ,” Arthur nodded then looked at Gwaine and Percival, “Could you two please take Gaius to his chambers then once he is settled get some rest yourselves.” “Yes, Sire,” Percival nodded. “If you need me,” Gwaine said to Arthur . “I’ll be all right, go now ,” Arthur nodded then watched the three men walk away before turning to Guinevere. She stepped into his embrace kissing him tenderly . “Come, Arthur let’ s get you cleaned up and fed then you will rest,” Gwen smiled cupping his cheek, “I am so glad you are home.” “So am I,” Arthur said then let her lead him toward their chambers. Truth and Honor Arthur stood at the wall where he and Merlin had stood so many times. The place where he had said goodbye to his servant before he left to return to Ealdor all those years ago to save his village from Kanen and his bandits. He smiled as he remembered walking across the grass, acting like children pushing and bumping shoulders as they took of f running… friends…best friends. The sun was just coming up, Arthur had been awake all night. Every time he closed his eyes to sleep he saw Merlin dying over and over again. He missed him, his laugh…but then Merlin had not really laughed in so long. How had he not noticed? It was not just the magic Arthur had been oblivious to, but the loneliness, pain, and loss. The overwhelming weight of their shared destiny had been carried by Merlin alone. Arthur bowed his head. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a piece of cloth, faded blue, shabby yet beautiful. Merlin’ s scarf…he had found it in his room, it was the one his servant had been wearing the night he nearly died after throwing himself between Arthur and the Doracha. It still smelled like wood, herbs, and Merlin. The king smiled clutching it in his hand as tears slid down his face. “Arthur…” Arthur flinched, turning to see Gwaine standing behind him his face etched with worry and understanding. Arthur shook his head. “The queen sent me to look for you,” Gwaine said. “You found me,” Arthur responded, his voice sounding hollow even to his own ears. “You’ve been up here all night?” “No, just a couple of hours. Couldn’ t sleep.” “Gwen said you never returned to your chambers.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I sat in his room for hours. Been wandering the castle most of the night. Merlin was such a presence here…everything just feels wrong without him. He touched so many lives. How are we supposed to just go on without him? It’ s not right.” “I heard Gaius is staying in a room at the inn,” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “He is heartbroken. I fear for his health.” “And you?” Gwaine asked. Arthur met his gaze and shook his head, “How did I not see it? He was always there for me. How did I not see that he had grown so callous, so focused on keeping me safe? Gwaine, he changed, and I missed it. I should have been there for him. Maybe…maybe if I had, he would still be here…instead of lying on the bottom of that godforsaken lake.” “Arthur , you are not the only one who failed Merlin,” Gwaine said, “He was my best friend too, and I did not see it either . I was so focused on my duties as a Knight of Camelot, drinking in the tavern, gambling, and pretty girls. I should have been there for him too, and I wasn’ t.” “Yet it was you he turned to for help when he lost his magic, and when Gaius was kidnapped, because I refused to listen. Lancelot…you…he could not come to me for help because I was an arrogant prat who refused to take his worries and his warnings seriously . He was forced to fight his battles in secret.” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur , folding his arms across his chest as he turned and leaned back against the wall. “Why didn’ t you listen to him?” “Because I was a fool. I took him for granted. I could not see past my own pride to accept that Merlin was far more intelligent and discerning than I was. He was always better at observing and reading people. People like Agravaine…Merlin knew he was working against me. He tried to warn me, and I did not listen.” Arthur shook his head fighting his emotions, “I have a sick feeling that Merlin was forced to deal with him when it should have been me.” “What do you mean?” Gwaine asked. “Looking back now , when we were in the tunnels near Ealdor , Merlin went back to create a distraction, to give us time to escape. I think Merlin killed him.” Arthur leaned forward resting his hands on the top of the wall and shook his head. “How many times was Merlin forced to kill for me? His innocence was lost…his morals became blurred, his smile faded, and I failed to notice.” “We all did, Arthur . Merlin was very adept at hiding, not just his magic, but his pain and fear as well. When he found me in Engerd and asked for my help when you had gone to the Perilous Lands, I saw then how devoted to you he was…how far he would go to make sure you survived whatever threat you faced.” “The Doracha,” Arthur said softly , “Merlin threw himself at them. He was terrified, but he did not even hesitate…you know he of fered to take my place, to sacrifice himself. If Lancelot had not stepped through first, Merlin would have.” “I guess now we know how he survived their attack…his magic and his immortality ,” Gwaine huf fed and shook his head. “Y ou think Lancelot knew about his magic?” “I am certain of it. Y ou weren’ t here when he first came to Camelot. He killed the Grif fin that was threatening the kingdom, now I know Merlin must have had a hand in it. Gaius said the only way it could be killed was with magic and the two of them were thick as thieves from the beginning.” “Makes sense.” “So many things make sense now . Falling branches, wild winds coming out of nowhere, bandits falling of f horses for no reason or getting tripped up, the impenetrable forest, the immortal army just exploding into nothing.” “The damn W yverns,” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin was a Dragonlord.” Arthur nodded, “Merlin, found and lost his father within a day and I had no idea. He hid his grief, buried it, and was still by my side when I faced the dragon. He stopped Kilgharrah from continuing his attack on Camelot. Gods, I was an idiot. I could not figure out why Merlin was so upset over the death of Balinor , a man he had only just met. I still remember the look on his face when he turned around…” “Arthur , you can stand out here and continue to mentally flog yourself for mistakes that can never be fixed, or you can pull yourself together and do what you promised. Honor Merlin’ s memory…free magic so people like him can finally come out of the shadows and stop living in fear . That is the best way you can begin to make amends.” “You’re right, Gwaine,” Arthur nodded, “Thank you.” “No problem.” “You are a good man and a loyal friend. I know I gave you a hard time over the years, but I want you to know that I appreciate all you have done for me, for Merlin, for the kingdom.” Gwaine smiled and shrugged, “I wouldn’ t have it any other way .” “Are we still on for that drunken stupor?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Absolutely , we will have a few…or a dozen for Merlin too.” “That night in the tavern, before Camlann, when Merlin took all my money ,” Arthur chuckled, “Do you think he cheated?” “Oh, most definitely ,” Gwaine laughed, “I know I would have if I had his gift.” “Will we ever know all he did?” “Doubtful, but then it doesn’ t really matter . Merlin was a hero.” “Would you join me for breakfast, Gwaine?” “I’d be honored,” he smiled. They turned and walked across the grass. It was just before sunset when the bonfire was lit outside the walls of the city . People came from the lower town, outlying villages, and even neighboring kingdoms. Arthur stood beside the fire with Guinevere on his arm staring into the flames as they grew higher and higher reaching into the sky . Knights, squires, servants, merchants, and peasants all gathered around, little children brought flowers and precious stones, placing them on top of a low wall that stood close to the flames. “Arthur ,” Gwen choked back a sob and he wrapped his arms around her , “It’s so beautiful.” “If only Merlin could see this,” he said fighting his own tears. Merlin deserved this honor and more. He was stunned when people began to come forward telling stories about Merlin, his good deeds, his courage, his strength, and his loyalty . Some told stories of how he had saved the life of a loved one, and others had funny stories about Merlin’ s antics and his clumsiness. The cook told everyone how Merlin always helped her in the kitchen even though he had his own duties. She admitted giving him extra sweets hoping to put some meat on his bones and everyone laughed tearfully . It was at that moment when Arthur saw Hunith step into the circle of light, her eyes red from crying, her hands trembling. Leon was beside her , his hand on her elbow as they approached. Arthur let go of Gwen, moving toward Merlin’ s mother then gathered her into his arms. “Arthur ,” Hunith gasped and broke down crying again. “I’m so sorry , Hunith, for give me,” Arthur choked as she drew back, cupping his cheek and shaking her head. “There is nothing to for give, Arthur ,” she smiled through her tears, “Merlin…my boy , he loved you more than anything. I do not blame you.” “It should have been me. Merlin should be here.” “No, Arthur…Merlin’ s magic was for you. He was born to serve you.” “He told me as much,” Arthur laughed softly even as tears slid down his face. “Merlin gave his life so you could be the great king he always knew you would be,” Hunith said then glanced over at Gwen, “Camelot will thrive, and Merlin’ s death will not be in vain.” “I am going to lift the ban on magic, Hunith, so no one will have to live in fear the way Merlin did…the way you did, always trying to keep him safe. I am just sorry I did not do it sooner . I let my father ’s hate, fear , and indoctrination blind me to the truth about sorcery . I can see now that it is not magic that is inherently evil, that evil is in the hearts of man. Merlin taught me that.” “All that matters is what you do from now forward, Great King,” Hunith said, “Remember Merlin, remember his sacrifices and how much he loved you. He may be gone, but he can still guide you.” She looked around at all the faces and smiled, wiping her eyes, “Thank you all, thank you for coming to honor my son’ s memory .” Holding on to Hunith’ s hand, Arthur took a deep breath, he looked at her then at Guinevere and his knights. “Many of you know that Merlin and I did not get of f to a great start,” Arthur said with a slight grin, and many people chuckled and nodded, “The fool wasn’ t even in Camelot a day and he chose to challenge the Prince of Camelot, called me out for bullying my servant. I found myself strangely drawn to this peasant with a death wish. There was just something about Merlin that I couldn’ t put my finger on. I am ashamed to admit that I challenged him to a mace fight in the market, not one of my finest moments. Merlin nearly beat me too, though he admitted to me very recently that he used magic to do so. Then unbeknownst to anyone, he used it again to save my life and ended up as my manservant as a reward.” Arthur laughed softly , looking around at his people. “Having Merlin in my life changed me, made me a better man, a better prince, and ultimately the king that I am today . Despite the dif ference in our status, he never once treated me differently . He saw through my façade, let me know all of my flaws and just what he thought of my title and my arrogance,” he grinned, rolling his eyes as he glanced up at the night sky for a moment. The people laughed and Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions in check before he could continue. He let go of Hunith’ s hand taking a few steps forward as she nodded reassuringly , and in that gesture, Arthur found the strength he needed to say what was truly in his heart. “Merlin, lived in fear every day , battled foes we never knew about and some that we did. Camelot would not be standing if it weren’ t for his courage, strength, and tenacity . Merlin was forced to hide who he truly was for far too long. I myself only found out about his magic when he told me after the battle at Camlann. At first, I was angry and hurt that he had not trusted me with his greatest secret, but I realized that he only did it to protect me and the people he loved, the people of this kingdom and beyond. He gave all of himself, risking life and limb and even his humanity for all of us. I hope I can be the king Merlin saw in me, even when I was, as he so loved to point out, an arrogant, pompous dollop head,” he grinned, and everyone laughed. “Don’ t forget Clotpole,” Gwaine shouted. “And cabbage head,” Leon laughed. “Royal prat,” Percival chuckled. “Yes, how could I for get,” Arthur smirked. “I want to thank each and every one of you for coming here tonight. It means a lot to Merlin’ s mother , to me, to Gaius, and all his friends. Merlin will not be for gotten. He will live on in all of us. I know I will never for get him, and I will never stop missing him. He was the other half of my soul, and his loss has left a gaping hole that will never be filled.” “Two sides of the same coin,” Hunith smiled through her tears then brought Arthur ’s hand up to her lips. Arthur nodded and hugged her tightly . The rest of the evening was filled with tears, laughter , food, drink, and endless stories. Hunith went to be with Gaius as the old physician lingered silently on the edge of the firelight clearly struggling with his grief. Gwen excused herself and Leon accompanied her back into the castle, but not before she made sure that Arthur knew he did not have to follow until he was ready . Arthur was stunned to see Princess Mithian walking toward him, tears in her eyes as she shook her head. “Arthur , I am so deeply sorry , I know what Merlin meant to you. He was a good man.” “Mithian, I didn’ t expect that you would travel all this way to be here. Thank you for coming.” “Merlin was special to me as well, Arthur . I did not say anything at the time because obviously did not want to get Merlin into trouble, but I know for certain that it was he who caused the tremor that saved all of us. I caught a glimpse of his eyes as he uttered words of a spell then struck the ground with his hand.” Arthur nodded, “Unexplainable things happened around Merlin all the time and I was too stupid to see it.” “Not stupid, Arthur ,” Mithian said then kissed his cheek, “I will be forever grateful to Merlin and to you for all you did. My father and I, we owe you both our lives.” “How is King Rodor?” “He is doing as well as can be expected for a man of his age. He sends his regards.” “I hope you will stay on a few days,” Arthur said, “I would love to talk to you about lifting the ban on magic and get your input. I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and your people.” “I would be delighted,” Mithian said, “I should like to get to know your beautiful queen better , as the last time we were here…” “Yes, Guinevere will be happy to have a woman to talk to.” “It is good to see you again, Arthur . I just wish it were under better circumstances. I can see how hard it is for you to lose Merlin.” “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “I miss him.” “I know ,” she said then clasped his hands, “If there is anything I can do for you, please ask. “Thank you, Mithian,” Arthur smiled, kissing her cheek then she moved toward the fire. He glanced over and spotted Queen Annis riding in with her knights. He approached them as she slid to the ground and reached for his hand. “Arthur ,” Annis said, “I heard what happened. I am so deeply sorry .” “Thank you for coming, Annis,” Arthur smiled. “Of course,” the queen said, “I want you to know that I am behind you on lifting the ban on magic. It is time for the ways of Uther Pendragon to change. Magic should be accepted again and people able to live in peace, without fear . “I appreciate that, Annis,” Arthur said then motioned toward the food. Y ou have had a long journey please eat, drink, and I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and Princess Mithian.” “Ah yes, I am starving,” the queen winked at him then waved to her knights to take care of the horses and joined in the festivities. Arthur walked amongst the people and then returned to the bonfire. He added more wood as Gwaine came to stand next to him. “I always knew that Merlin was well loved,” Gwaine smiled, “But this is just amazing.” “I wish he could see it,” Arthur said swiping at his eyes. “Maybe he can.” “I want him back.” “So do I, Arthur…so do I.” “Are you all right?” Gwaine shrugged, “I’m alive.” “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “And I am glad of that. I could not have gotten through this without your help, thank you.” “You’re welcome.” “Come on let’ s get a drink,” Arthur said, draping his arm around Gwaine’ s shoulders. The days that followed were filled with council meetings, kingdom negotiations, and citizen concerns with the prospect of magic being allowed in Camelot again, some of whom had magic and were still afraid to use it openly . Arthur could not help but think about Merlin and how hard it must have been for him to hide, especially considering just how powerful he was. T o suppress his magic, to control it, and use it without being caught. “Arthur ,” Gwen said. “Yes?” “Do you want to talk about it…about Merlin?” Arthur shook his head, “I’m sorry .” “You do not have to apologize, Arthur…not to me.” “How did you handle it? When Gaius told you…” he asked, his voice trailing of f. “Merlin was your friend too. Y ou must have felt betrayed on some level, as I did.” Gwen sat down at the table, reaching out to take hold of his hand. “Gaius merely confirmed what I had already suspected. I knew Merlin would never have left your side unless there was something of vital importance. He loved you more than anything and anyone, Arthur . When I saw that old sorcerer on the clif fs and Gaius admitted to knowing who he was, I started to piece together the past. My father ’s miraculous recovery , all the times you were pulled back from the brink of death, the times I was saved from execution, so many things began to make sense once I added the element of magic. Merlin had magic.” “When he told me,” Arthur said, “I reacted badly . I ordered him to leave me.” “And yet he didn’ t,” Gwen smiled. “The way I treated him…I did not deserve his loyalty , his friendship…he should have hated me.” Gwen laughed softly , and Arthur looked at her curiously . “Arthur , you for get I was there in the beginning. I saw how you and Merlin were instantly drawn to each other . Tell me, that day on the training field, when you two first met…if Merlin had been any other peasant, what would you have done?” Arthur nodded and smiled, “I would have hauled him in front of my father . Probably made sure he was banished or at the very least locked up for a month.” “And yet you didn’ t. Not even when he stood his ground in the market the next day and fought you. Arthur , you, and Merlin were always meant to stand together , side by side as equals.” “That’ s just it though, Guinevere, I never treated him as an equal. Even that last day , before I left for Camlann when he told me that he would not be coming with me, I called him a coward. I am ashamed of the way I belittled him, and I refused to listen when he tried to tell me that Agravaine was working against me. When Cedric was possessed by Sigan and countless other times. All the years he fought for me and for Camelot and received nothing, asked for nothing.” “Arthur , Merlin served you, protected you, and guided you out of a strong sense of duty , destiny , and most of all out of love. I may be your wife and your queen, but I always knew there was a deep bond between the two of you that I could never hope to compete with. He loved you and you loved him,” Gwen smiled taking hold of both his hands. Arthur shook his head and let out a breath, “I couldn’ t…” “But you did. I have known that ever since the night you risked everything to find the Mortaeus flower . To save the life of a young man you could not bear to lose. He became a part of you. I saw the look on your face when he fell to the floor after drinking that wine. You did not stop to think about station or status, all you cared about was Merlin. Everyone saw it and they were proud of you for doing what was good and right.” Arthur got up from his chair and walked to the windows looking out over the courtyard as the sun set, watching his people heading for their homes, to join their families around the hearth. He lowered his head, running his fingers through his blonde hair . “Arthur , you can talk to me. I will not judge you.” “I know , Guinevere, I am trying. It is just so hard because I kept these feelings buried for so long. I never allowed myself to…” his voice broke of f. Gwen got up moving to embrace him. She cupped his cheek and smiled. “Just say it,” she whispered, “Say what is in your heart.” Arthur ’s eyes filled with tears, and he nodded, “I loved him, Guinevere…I loved him so much and I don’ t know how to be me without him at my side.” Gwen smiled, “I know , Arthur .” “How can you not feel betrayed?” “I have no right to feel betrayed. Y ou for get that I too know how it feels to love someone so deeply that you cannot be with.” “Lancelot,” Arthur nodded lowering his gaze, “He was a better man than me.” “That is not true, Arthur . You were strong, noble, brave men who loved so fully . You both gave everything for Camelot and its people. I love you and I always will love Lancelot. Just as you will always love me and Merlin.” Arthur hugged her close, “I do love you my queen…my beautiful, understanding, and wise wife.” “Arthur , I have news,” Gwen smiled brightly , “I wanted to wait to tell you when I was sure. Arthur , you are going to be a father…I am with child.” “Guinevere…” Arthur shook his head, his eyes wide, he let out a joyous cry and kissed her deeply . “That is wonderful!” “I wasn’ t certain how you would take the news with everything…I know it is a lot.” “I am going to be a father!” Arthur laughed. Gwen beamed up at him, stroking his cheek, “Y es, you are.” “I love you, Guinevere, so very much.” “I love you, Arthur .” “This is a new beginning,” Arthur said with a slight nod, “Albion will live, and our child will be brought into a world of peace and prosperity . A world that I could not have achieved without Merlin. I need to find a way to honor him.” “Perhaps you could start by learning just how much he did for you…for me, and for Camelot.” “How do I even begin to do that?” Gwen smiled, “Start at the beginning…with Hunith. She is here in Camelot. And I believe that Gaius knows far more than he was ever able to reveal before.” “The Great Dragon…” Arthur said, and Gwen’ s eyes went wide with fear and confusion. “What does the dragon have to do with Merlin?” Arthur laughed, “Ah, yes, I guess I left that part out. The Great Dragon’ s name is Kilgharrah, and he is the one who told Merlin of our destiny . Do you remember when Merlin and I went in search of the Last Dragonlord to seek his help when Kilgharrah was attacking Camelot? Balinor was Merlin’ s father . When he died his gift was passed down to Merlin. Now that I look back, I think it was Merlin who released the dragon. The idiot.” “Arthur , the dragon is dead, isn’ t he?” “No, Merlin let me believe that I had mortally wounded him back then. The dragon was dying of old age though, and whatever Merlin did to destroy Mor gana it released a wave of magic over the land that not only healed me, but Kilgharrah as well, and it brought Gwaine back from the dead.” “Oh, the day before you returned?” Gwen asked her eyes going wide. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “Merlin saved all that is precious to me when he ended Mor gana's reign of terror . He gave up his magic and his immortality for me.” “Immortality?” Gwen gasped. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “I was meant to die, to return when Albion needed me most. Merlin was to live forever waiting for my return so he would be there to guide me and protect me as he did in this life.” “Oh, Arthur ,” Gwen said softly . “Now you can understand this guilt I feel. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gwen sat down hard on the chair and shook her head, “Arthur , if you were meant to die and one day return. Could that mean Merlin will one day return?” “I don’ t know . I need to find someone who can tell me. The dragon may be my only hope of finding out. Which means I need to find a way to bring him to me. I must talk to Gaius…or perhaps the Druids. Or I can speak to Merlin!” Arthur said, his eyes going wide. “How?” Gwen asked shaking her head. “The Horn of Cathbhadh,” he said, “It is in the vaults. I could ride to the Great Stones of Nemeton and use it to summon Merlin.” “Are you certain that is wise, Arthur? Y ou remember what happened with your father .” “I will speak to Gaius, have him show me the proper way to do it,” he looked at Gwen, “I love you. I am so happy about our child.” “Go, Arthur ,” she nodded and laughed, “Go speak with Gaius now .” “Are you sure,” he asked. “I am sure. Y ou need to learn all you can about Merlin’ s sacrifice. I want our child to know him and all he did for us.” “I love you,” Arthur said then kissed her tenderly before leaving their chambers. “My Lord,” Gaius said as he opened the door to find Arthur standing on the other side his hands clasped behind him. “What brings you to my chambers?” “I came to see how you are doing and to ask a favor ,” Arthur said as he stepped inside the room which seemed darker than normal. Perhaps it was the lack of light or the lack of a certain someone’ s presence within its walls. “Gaius, I know what Merlin meant to you and I know that you protected him all these years.” “I did, Sire,” Gaius said as he sat down at the table, returning to his dinner . He motioned to the other bench and Arthur sat down. “W ould you like some food?” “No, thank you.” “So, what can I do for you, Arthur?” “Gaius, you told me that one day I would learn, that I would understand just how much they had done for me. It was Merlin you spoke of back then. I know that now , and I need to know everything, Gaius. I need to know all that Merlin did for me and for Camelot. The only way that can happen is if I speak to Merlin.” Gaius barely flinched at the last part, nodding wearily . “And just how do you plan to do that?” “The Horn of Cathbhadh,” Arthur said. “That is not possible, Arthur .” “It worked with my father .” “Only the spirits of your ancestors may be summoned by the horn. It will not work for Merlin.” Arthur ’s face fell and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Then how? I must speak with Merlin.” Gaius nodded, “The Horn will not help you, Sire.” “Gaius, please, I beg of you. I cannot move on without knowing the truth.” “Very well,” Gaius nodded sadly , “I will tell you all I know . There is no reason not to, now that I no longer have to protect Merlin.” Arthur lowered his gaze, “Gaius, I am so sorry . If I could trade places with him, I would. If I could bring him back.” “Merlin would not want you to, Arthur . I think he always knew he would have to lay down his life for you in the end.” “I feel so empty , Gaius,” Arthur said, “I don’ t know how to be me without Merlin. I owe him everything. I miss him, Gods…” Gaius let out a breath and gave Arthur a slight smile. “I know you do.” “I need to know what the prophecy says now that I have lived, and Merlin died. He was meant to live…I was meant to die. How can I call the dragon to me?” “You know about Kilgharrah,” Gaius said raising an eyebrow . “Yes, he came to A valon after it all happened. He told me of the prophecy and Merlin’ s father . I figured out that it was Merlin who set Kilgharrah free all those years ago.” “He did, but only because the dragon had helped him to save you many times. Kilgharrah was exceptionally good at telling Merlin just enough and leaving out the parts he should have been told. The old dragon had his own aims. I only allowed Merlin to communicate with him because I knew they were both creatures of magic. They needed each other .” “My father kept him prisoner for two decades.” “Yes, Sire,” Gaius said, “He believed that keeping Kilgharrah prisoner would set an example for any kingdoms who would ever think they could attack Camelot.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “That worked out well.” “Yes, but it did accomplish one thing, it struck fear in all those with magic. If your father could keep a magical beast prisoner , what could he do to them?” “My father was wrong,” Arthur said, “He was wrong about everything. Magic is not evil. Perhaps if I had known that then, I would have had time to save Mor gana.” “Mor gana’ s magic was far dif ferent from Merlin’ s. Her magic emer ged at first through her dreams…nightmares. She saw things in them that eventually came to be. Things that were avoided because Merlin was able to stop them.” “Sophia?” Arthur said letting out a breath, “I knew there was more to that story .” “Mor gana saw her drown you in her dreams. Merlin tried to get through to you to keep you from going with Sophia and Aulfric. They were Sidhe in human form. Condemned to live a mortal life for killing another Sidhe. Their only way back to A valon was to sacrifice you. Merlin was nearly killed when Aulfric slammed him into the wall in your chambers. When I found him, he was in pain and disoriented. Y et he still ran all the way to A valon to stop them and save you.” Arthur shook his head, “How many times did he nearly die for me?” “Too many to count I’m afraid,” Gaius frowned. “I remember , Mor gana dreamed of the Questing Beast…she was terrified.” “Yes, she saw you die.” “How did I survive? The bite was supposed to be fatal. And for that matter the beast itself, I know I did not kill it.” “Merlin did. W ith the same spell that he used on Lancelot’ s lance so he could kill the Griffin. Merlin enchanted your sword and drove it into the heart of the beast killing it. When they brought you back to Camelot, there was little hope. Merlin went to the dragon who told him he would need to go to the Isle of the Blessed. That he would need the magic of the old religion to save you. Nimueh was there. She gave him water from the Cup of Life, and in exchange, he bar gained his own life. Unfortunately , she knew who Merlin really was. She chose to take his mother instead. Hunith showed up here in the middle of a storm deathly ill and covered in sores. Merlin intended to return to the Isle of the Blessed to force Nimueh to take him instead. I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how he is—was,” Gaius said. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “He never would do what he was told.” “He went to your chambers, said he needed to tell you goodbye. It was then that I decided it would be me…that I would take his place. I went to the Isle of the Blessed to of fer myself for Merlin. I was unconscious by the time Merlin arrived. He told me afterward, Nimueh tried to get him to join her , to rule by her side…he refused of course. She attacked him with balls of fire. He ended up with a burn scar on his chest from the one that hit him. He pulled lightning from the storm raging overhead and killed her . In taking her life, the balance was restored and Hunith lived…I lived.” “And I lived…” Arthur let out a ragged breath. “It was Merlin’ s duty , his destiny to protect you…his purpose…the purpose for his magic. He was born with it, Arthur . For Merlin, magic was like breathing…a part of him.” “So, when he said that he was born to serve me…” “Yes,” Gaius nodded. “Gods, Gaius, what did I ever do to deserve him? He was a far better man than me.” “Merlin would be the first to disagree with that, Arthur . Your father was a friend, but even I can admit that he was a hard man, cruel and unyielding at times. He made me take an oath to never tell you the truth about Nimueh and your birth. I am sorry , truly . I was a foolish old man, I let fear direct my actions. If I had not then Merlin and Mor gana would still be with us. Y ou have lost so much, Arthur…” Gaius frowned and shook his head. “Guinevere told me that she is with child,” Arthur smiled. Gaius smiled, “I am happy for you both. Y ou will be a wonderful father , Arthur .” “If Merlin had not done what he did, I would not be here. My child would have grown up without a father just as I grew up without my mother .” “Then Merlin fulfilled his destiny ,” Gaius said. “I want him back. I need him back,” Arthur said. “That is not possible, no matter how much I wish it were. I loved Merlin as a son.” “I know you did.” Gaius looked at Arthur intently . “Arthur , there is one place where you may be able to communicate with Merlin. I cannot guarantee that it will work.” “Please, Gaius. I will do whatever it takes.” “The reason Merlin was not able to go with you to Camlann…Mor gana took his magic using a creature of the Old Religion, called the Gean Canach. His only hope of regaining it was to travel to the place where magic was born. It is called the Crystal Cave and lies in the V alley of the Fallen Kings. Mor gana showed up and brought down the cave entrance trapping Merlin inside. He was injured and without his magic. Desperate to get to you before the battle. He told me that his father appeared to him in the cave and helped him to regain his magic. He used the crystals to send you the message about the hidden path in the mountains.” “Yes, he did.” “Perhaps if you go to the Crystal Cave there may be a way to communicate with Merlin. I will need to do some research. If you can give me a day or so.” “Yes, of course, Gaius,” Arthur said, “But will I need the help of magic?” “I will be able to tell you more once I look into it.” “Very well, it is getting late. I would like to speak with you more tomorrow , Gaius.” “You know where to find me, My Lord,” Gaius nodded, “Good night, Arthur .” “Good night, Gaius,” Arthur said then left the chambers. He walked down the silent corridor , but instead of returning to their chambers, he walked outside and down the steps. He needed a drink. Heading for the tavern he walked in to find Gwaine and Percival at a table staring at their tankards of mead not saying anything. The fire was burning in the hearth, and the barkeep looked up, surprised to see the king. “My Lord,” he bowed, “What can I get you, Sire?” “Whatever they are having, please,” Arthur said then walked over to the table and pulled up a chair . Gwaine and Percival took a moment to even realize he was there, nearly jumping out of their skin when they did. “Arthur!” Percival said in surprise. Gwaine turned to look at him, his eyes glazed over . “Every time I see you, I look for him,” he huf fed a pained laugh, his words slurred, “But then I remember , and it feels like a knife through the gut.” Arthur nodded, taking a drink of his mead as soon as Evoric placed it in front of him. “I keep expecting him to show up with some ridiculous story about falling asleep in the woods. Gods, I miss that smile and his annoying prattle. I would give anything to hear him call me a Clotpole or a dollop head again.” “Merlin never held back on his insults, did he,” Gwaine chuckled. “Arthur ,” Percival said, “Do you think it was his magic that saved him after the Doracha?” “Knowing what I know now I am certain of it,” Arthur said as Evoric brought him a second tankard of mead before he’d even finished the first. He shrugged, swallowed down the first, then started on the second. It wasn’ t proper for the king to get drunk in a tavern, but he couldn’ t find a reason to care right now . “Lancelot must have known that Merlin had magic,” Percival nodded. “Yeah, Gaius confirmed my suspicions. Merlin enchanted the lance he used to kill the Grif fin back when he first came to Camelot. The first time he was made a knight and my father stripped him of his title because his seal of nobility was for ged…which I believe a certain Warlock was responsible for as well.” “Warlock? Sorcerer? Dragonlord?” Gwaine said, “Merlin was just full of surprises.” “What is the dif ference between a W arlock and a Sorcerer?” Percival asked. “From what Gaius told me, Merlin was born with his magic,” Arthur said, “It was as much a part of him as breathing, or the blood pumping through his veins. Sorcerers may have a gift, but they study magic, it does not come naturally to them. Merlin was magic, but he learned how to use it properly from Gaius. So, I suppose, in a way , he was both.” “Was it really Mordred who mortally wounded you?” Gwaine asked Arthur . “Yes,” Arthur nodded taking a drink of his mead, “I hesitated…that is all it took. He said I gave him no other choice. When I ran him through, he smiled…he smiled like he was relieved. It made no sense. I cared about him…trained him and he turned against me over a girl he hadn’ t seen since he was a child.” “You gave her a chance, Arthur…she refused your of fer,” Gwaine shook his head. “But Mordred didn’ t know that did he,” Arthur frowned. “This prophecy…” Percival said, “Merlin knew about it?” “Explains why he and Mordred were always at odds. I thought maybe Merlin was just jealous of the attention you were paying to Mordred,” Gwaine frowned. Arthur nodded, “I see that now . It must have been so hard for him knowing that Mordred had magic like him and yet he was merely a servant and I made Mordred a knight.” “If you had known Mordred had magic you wouldn’ t have done so,” Percival said. “No, I most likely would not have. Merlin is the one who deserved to be a knight,” Arthur shook his head, “Gods, I am ashamed of the way I treated him. I still have no idea how many times he saved my life…how many times he saved Camelot.” The door opened then, and they looked around as Leon walked in, and waved to Evoric who nodded and poured another tankard of mead. “Thought I might find you all here,” Leon said as he pulled up a chair , sat down, then looked at Arthur . “Are you all right, Sire?” Arthur shook his head, “Why wouldn’ t I be? I have only lost the other half of my soul.” “I’m sorry ,” Leon frowned. “No, it is I who should be sorry ,” Arthur said patting Leon’ s shoulder , “I have been neglecting my kingly duties placing too much on your shoulders.” “The queen sent me to find you, she is worried.” “I should probably go back.” “No, perhaps this is what you need…to talk about Merlin,” Leon said, “I am certain she understands.” “What kind of man am I?” Arthur asked, his words beginning to slur as he drank a third tankard of mead, “My queen…my wife, she is with child and I am here, with you lot, grieving over my servant…best friend…protector…sorcerer…warlock…Dragonlord.” “You’re going to be a father?” Leon smiled. “Yep, I am, and if not for Merlin I would have died and never known about my child.” “Cheers,” Gwaine and Percival smiled then downed their mead. “I’m drunk,” Arthur said. “Me too?” Gwaine smirked. Arthur shook his head then let it fall back and chuckled, “Merlin used his magic in our fight in the market, he admitted it to me. I had no idea. He would have won if Gaius had not distracted him. I hit him with a broomstick.” “Low blow ,” Percival smirked. “Heard about that fight, didn’ t see it for myself,” Leon smiled. “Then he saved my life, and as a reward, my father made him my manservant.” “Sounds more like a punishment,” Gwaine grinned. “You’re not wrong,” Arthur shrugged his eyes growing wider , “Sacked him after the snakes in the shield thing with V aliant. I was an idiot.” “You obviously hired him back,” Percival said. “Yes, I couldn’ t stand the thought of anyone else replacing him…and now…” “There’ s always Geor ge,” Leon smirked. Arthur glared at him, “I would rather wash my own socks than have to deal with Geor ge.” “He is rather stif f and proper ,” Gwaine laughed. “That’ s just it, he is too ef ficient for our king,” Leon chuckled. “And he’ s not Merlin,” Arthur said finishing his mead, “I want Merlin back.” “We all do,” Leon said, “He was a friend to all of us…a brother really .” Arthur leaned forward placing his head in his hands, elbows on the table. The others looked at each other , clearly concerned for their friend and king. He huf fed a laugh then dropped his hands, his eyes shining with tears. “I am really , really drunk,” he said. “Me too, but not enough yet,” Gwaine mumbled then tipped his empty tankard upside down. “We should get you two back to the palace,” Leon said. “No,” Arthur said then turned to the barkeep, “Evoric, do you have a room available?” “Yes, of course, Y our Highness,” he nodded, “I shall give you my best room.” “One for Gwaine too…Percival?” “No, I am not that drunk, but I’ll help get Gwaine upstairs.” “My Lord, the room I have for you has a second bed for Sir Gwaine or I can give him a separate room,” Evoric said. “No need, Gwaine can share the room with me,” Arthur said as he stood up, swaying on his feet to the point where Leon had to prop him up. “Thank you, Leon. W ill you please send word to Guinevere…tell her I am sorry .” “I am certain she will understand, Arthur ,” Leon said then helped his king up the stairs with Percival following behind, Gwaine leaning heavily on him. Reaching the top of the stairs, they followed Evoric to the end of the long hallway . He unlocked the door opening it wide, stepping inside to light the candles and start a fire in the hearth. “Here we are,” Evoric smiled. Leon sat Arthur down on the lar ger bed near the fire. Percival dropped Gwaine on the smaller bed by the wall then pulled his boots of f. “You’re a good friend…a very big, good friend,” Gwaine smirked and Percival rolled his eyes placing his boots near the hearth. “Leon,” Arthur said then let out a loud burp that made Gwaine laugh. Leon shook his head, taking of f Arthur ’s boots. “Lie down, Arthur , you need to rest.” “Can’ t sleep,” Arthur said as he laid back on the pillow , “I close my eyes, I see Merlin dying…over and over and over again. I will never get that vision out of my head as long as I live. He should be here…not me. It should be me lying in that godforsaken lake.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom. Camelot would be nothing without you, Arthur ,” Leon said with conviction. “Merlin said those exact words to me on the way to A valon,” Arthur said pinching the bridge of his nose before running his fingers through his hair which had gotten too long, but he had no desire to let anyone cut it…that was Merlin’ s job…” “Arthur ,” Leon said, “See you in the morning, rest.” He headed toward the door and Percival followed him out, closing the door behind them, leaving Arthur and Gwaine in silence. “I should have been there,” Gwaine choked out, his voice rough. “Gwaine…” “It was my fault. If I had not convinced Percival that we should go after Mor gana…she would not have gone to A valon. Merlin would be alive, and he would have had time to save you.” “No, Gwaine…don’ t put that on yourself.” “I was so angry about Eira…I allowed her into my bed…I trusted her .” Arthur huf fed a bitter laugh, “I know all about trusting people I should not have. Y ou are not to blame, Gwaine. I do not blame you.” Gwaine let out a growl, kicking the end of the bed. “All of this goes back to your father . His hatred of magic did this…he took Merlin from us.” Arthur fell silent and Gwaine pushed himself up to a seated position, back against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest, then folded his hands across the back of his head. Arthur rolled onto his side facing his knight, “I had the chance to kill my father .” “What?” Gwaine asked, looking at him. “Merlin lied to me…he lied to stop me from killing my father .” “What happened?” “Mor gause conjured the spirit of my mother , Ygraine, who told me the truth about my birth…what my father did. The reason he started the Great Pur ge in the first place. My mother could not conceive so he turned to magic for an heir . I do not know if he knew what the price would be, but in the end, my mother died so I could live…balance…a life for a life. I was angry…Gods, so angry . Upon returning to Camelot, I was out for his blood, I challenged him…demanded that he fight me. I had the point of my sword at his chest when Merlin burst in and told me that Mor gause lied, that it was not my mother I saw . That it was all a lie to tear apart the kingdom. Merlin could have let me kill my father , he would have been free, but instead, he lied, and I dropped my sword.” “Sounds like Merlin,” Gwaine said, “So unselfish. Always putting others ahead of his own needs.” “I still feel such shame for the way I reacted when he told me about his magic.” “It’s understandable, Arthur .” Arthur nodded, “I thought I knew him…and the whole time he was hiding this huge part of himself. I should have known. W e were…” “You loved each other .” “Yeah,” Arthur said with a soft laugh then sat upright and looked at Gwaine, “He was your best friend too, you really didn’ t feel hurt?” “No, not at all,” Gwaine shook his head, “Merlin kept his secret to protect himself. He lived in fear every day of his life. That is something you and I could never possibly understand. Even before he came to Camelot, he grew up in Essetir…Cenred was well known for imprisoning and enslaving those with magic. He had no chance…stay or leave, he would always be in danger . Coming to Camelot was his best chance at survival. Becoming your servant was his destiny .” Arthur nodded, tears pooling in his eyes, “Y ou’re a wise man, Sir Gwaine.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh, “I’m really not.” “True…but thank you…thank you for being here for me.” “And we owe Merlin for that as well don’ t we.” “What did Mor gana do to you?” “Ah, that nasty snake thing…the same one she used on Elyan to find out you all were going to Ealdor ,” Gwaine shivered. “Gods, I hate snakes.” “I hate spiders…giant hairy spiders,” Arthur muttered. “Definitely hate spiders and snakes. Don’ t mind dragons so much now .” Arthur laughed, “Me neither .” “Still hate W yverns though.” “Gaius thinks I might be able to communicate with Merlin from the Crystal Cave.” “Really?” Gwaine asked his eyes going wide. “I need to try ,” Arthur said, “I need to see him…talk to him.” “Then I am going with you.” “Gwaine,” he shook his head, “I need to go alone.” “You are the king, Arthur , you cannot venture into the V alley of the Fallen Kings alone. Morgana may be dead, but there are still enemies out there who would love your head on a pike.” Arthur looked at Gwaine then nodded, “All right. But only you and me. No one else.” “When do we leave?” “Gaius said he needed to do some research. He has to find a way that I can communicate without magic of my own. There is a chance it will not work at all.” “You were born of magic, do think there is a chance you have some sort of magic?” Arthur laughed, “No, I don’ t think so.” “What is it you really want, Arthur?” “I need to know the part of Merlin he kept hidden. I need to understand.” “So, you can find a way to for give him?” Gwaine asked. “No, I have already for given him.” “Then what are you after?” “Ideally , I want to bring him home,” Arthur lowered his gaze to the floor for a moment then looked at Gwaine. “But if that is not possible, I at least want my child to grow up knowing him. T o know the man who brought peace to Camelot. Is that so insane?” Gwaine shook his head, “No, Arthur , not at all.” “We should sleep, we are going to feel like death in the morning.” “I will go with you to see Gaius. He will give us his remedy then we can work on a plan.” Arthur laid back down on his side staring into the flames and laughed, “The fire.” “What?” “The fire in Jarl’ s fortress, when we faked that fight…the fire that mysteriously started and covered our escape.” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin…” “Remember what he said, that if it wasn’ t for that fire, we would have all been pushing up daisies.” “Of course. Also explains your recovery from the poisoned arrow in your leg. Y ou were burning up with fever…” “I was dying. And Merlin saved me…again.” Gwaine looked at Arthur intently , “Whatever it takes, we will do right by him. W e will make sure that Merlin is remembered…always. And maybe one day he will return.” “I hope so,” Arthur said then finally drifted of f to sleep. Gwaine passed out soon after . To See Him Again “Gwaine, are you alive?” Arthur asked shaking his knight gently . “What? Oh, yes…alive…still alive,” he jolted awake nearly rolling of f the bed. “That makes one of us,” Arthur winced sitting down on the bed to put on his boots, “My head…” Gwaine stumbled to the hearth stepping into his own boots with surprising agility considering how much he’d had to drink. “Let’ s get to Gaius, he will fix us right up,” he chuckled. “Sounds like you have gone to him many times for the remedy ,” Arthur smirked. “Regular customer .” They blew out the candles and then made their way downstairs where Evoric had breakfast prepared for them. They sat down and ate. Arthur placed a handful of gold coins on the table. “Please, Y our Highness, I cannot accept payment,” Evoric said. “I insist,” Arthur said, “For the mead, the room, and this delicious breakfast.” “Very well, My Lord. Y ou are welcome anytime,” Evoric said then lowered his head, “W e all miss Merlin. He helped me out often with remedies and fixing things. He was a good man.” “Yes, he was,” Arthur nodded. They finished eating and then headed for the palace. After a slight detour to let Gwen know , he was all right and to apologize for abandoning her , they reached the door of the physician’ s chambers. Gwaine knocked and then opened the door . Gaius waved a hand toward the table. “Leon told me to expect you two, remedy is there on the table.” “Thank you, Gaius,” Arthur said drinking his down quickly trying not to smell it first. “Y ep, still as nasty tasting as ever .” “Nectar of the Gods,” Gwaine chuckled, downing his with a flourish. “Gaius, have you found anything?” Arthur asked as he approached the older man. “I was up most of the night and I was able to confirm that the Horn of Cathbhadh will not work for someone who is not a direct blood ancestor .” Arthur said down on the bench, “And the Crystal Cave?” “There is a way to use the crystals to communicate with spirits, but you will need help.” “Magical help?” Arthur asked. “I’m afraid so,” Gaius said, “Y ou will need to retrieve the Crystal of Neahtid from the vaults of Camelot and return it to the Crystal Cave from which it came.” “That doesn’ t sound too dif ficult,” Gwaine said as he sat down on a bench across from Arthur . “Yes, well, that is the easy part, I am afraid. Before you return it, you must enhance its power .” “And just how do I do that?” Arthur asked. “It must be infused with magic from a high priestess.” Arthur ’s face fell, “That is obviously out of the question.” “The only other option is the Great Dragon,” Gaius said. “Good, I need to speak with Kilgharrah anyway . Is there a way that I can call him to me?” “There is a spell, but I am not certain I have enough power . I am willing to try , Arthur .” Arthur knew from the look in Gaius’ eyes that this spell would take a lot out of him to perform. “Gaius, would it harm you? I will not ask you to do it if it will.” “It will not be easy , but I will do it for Merlin…for you.” “Is there another way? I will not do anything that will put you at risk.” Gaius thought for a moment then his eyes widened, “Of course, your sword, Arthur . It was forged by Kilgharrah. It holds his power . You can use it to call him.” “Great, tell me what I need to do.” “Arthur , please don’ t go alone,” Gwen said as Arthur packed his bags. “Guinevere, Gwaine is going with me, I won’ t be alone,” he said stopping what he was doing to embrace her . “There is no need to worry . With Mor gana dead and the Saxons scattered there is little threat right now . I must do this. Please understand. If I have a chance to see Merlin, to speak with him, I need to try . There is so much I need him to know and things that I must know to protect Camelot. T o keep the peace for our child.” Gwen shook her head, “I just do not want to lose you, Arthur . I cannot raise our child alone.” “I love you, Guinevere, I will return. I promise you.” “All right,” she finally relented, “Just promise me that if you speak to Merlin, tell him how much he means to me and how grateful I am for everything he did.” “I will tell him,” Arthur smiled then kissed her before resuming packing. There was a knock on the door . Gwen went to answer it. Gwaine stepped inside the room and she gave him a look... “Y ou will take care of him,” she said. “Upon my life, I will protect Arthur , My Lady ,” Gwaine said then he approached Arthur with an object in a leather pouch. “Is this what we need?” he asked as he opened it and pulled out the Crystal of Neahtid. Arthur had not laid eyes on it since they brought it back to Camelot all those years ago. “That’ s it,” Arthur sheathed his sword, kissed Gwen then nodded, “Let’ s go.” They made their way out of the castle to find Leon and Percival waiting in the courtyard with their horses. “Thank you,” Arthur smiled, climbing onto his horse while Gwaine secured the crystal in his saddlebag then mounted his own horse. “Arthur , are you sure this is wise?” Leon asked. “It is something I have to do, Leon. Please understand.” “I do, just it isn’ t safe out there.” “I will take care of him, I promise,” Gwaine said. “Courage and Strength,” Percival said with a nod then reached up to grasp Arthur ’s forearm, “Godspeed, both of you.” Arthur nodded then turned his horse, heading for the drawbridge with Gwaine close behind. They crossed over it and then headed toward the clearing Gaius told them about. The place where Merlin used to sneak of f to call Kilgharrah for help. It was already mid-morning and they still had far to go to reach the Crystal Cave. As soon as they reached the clearing, Arthur dismounted, drew his sword, and stepped into the clearing. He held the sword out in front of him, resting flat across both hands then closed his eyes focusing all his light and ener gy into the blade then, tilting his head back, he shouted. “Kilgharrah, Great Dragon, I wish to speak with you. In the name of Merlin, The Last Dragonlord, please come to me. Hear your king, Kilgharrah…” “Did it work?” Gwaine asked keeping his voice low . “I don’ t know ,” Arthur shook his head. “Maybe you should say it again.” “What if he is too far away?” Arthur asked. Gwaine held up a hand, “Listen…” They both heard the familiar sound of massive wings and looked up as Kilgharrah came over the hill. He landed in the clearing just a few feet from the king. “King Arthur…Sir Gwaine, you called for me,” the dragon said. “I did,” Arthur said then sheathed his sword, “I have a favor to ask of you.” “A favor?” Kilgharrah asked a curious glint in his golden eyes. “Yes, I must speak with Merlin. Gaius said there is a chance that I can reach him in the Crystal Cave, but I need you to enhance the magic of the Crystal of Neahtid so that I may do so.” “I see,” the dragon said, “Might I ask why you wish to speak with Merlin?” Arthur nodded, “There are things I need answers to, and things I need him to know . Will you help me? Please.” “Very well,” Kilgharrah said, “Bring me the crystal, but you should know , Arthur , Merlin may not want to be summoned.” “Why?” Arthur asked, shaking his head, “Why would he not want to come to me?” “Arthur , Merlin gave his life for you. He would want you to live, to move on.” “I can’ t do that,” Arthur shook his head, his voice breaking, “Not until I say what I need to say to him. I need to see him one last time. He died not knowing how I feel about him.” Kilgharrah raised his head and looked at Gwaine then back to Arthur . He let out a breath, a puff of smoke and flame. “Great King, there are things Merlin did that he may not want you to know .” “If you’re referring to the fact that it was Merlin who set you free? I figured that out for myself. So, you see I am not a complete idiot.” Kilgharrah let out a chuckle, “Y ou definitely are not.” “Will you help me then?” “I will help you, King Arthur ,” Kilgharrah said. He watched as Gwaine stepped forward with the Crystal of Neahtid in his hand. “Place it on the ground then step back.” Gwaine did as he said before moving to stand next to Arthur . The dragon lowered his head and opened his mouth breathing a heatless golden flame over the crystal. It began to glow with a light so bright that Arthur and Gwaine had to look away . “It is done.” “Thank you,” Arthur said. “In the center of the Crystal Cave, you will find a pool of water . Place the crystal in the water and focus on Merlin. I trust Gaius told you what to say .” “He did,” Gwaine nodded. “If Merlin chooses not to appear to you, Arthur , you will not try again. Promise me.” Arthur lowered his gaze to the crystal for a moment then looked up at Kilgharrah again. “If Merlin chooses not to come to me, I will let him be. I promise.” “The magic I have infused into the crystal will destroy it if you attempt the summoning a second time. It will shatter , obliterating everything within its reach. It will sever any connection between the Crystal Cave and A valon, the repercussions of which would be far worse than the tear in the veil that released the Doracha.” Arthur and Gwaine looked at each other as that memory took hold. Neither of them wanted to relive that nightmare. They had nearly lost Merlin, then they did lose Lancelot. “I swear to you, I will perform the summoning only once,” Arthur said. “Good, then I bid you farewell, King Arthur…Sir Gwaine,” Kilgharrah said then moved away preparing to fly . “Wait, please, Kilgharrah,” Arthur said. The dragon turned back to look at him. “Please, tell me, do you know what happens now that Merlin changed our destiny by dying in my place? I was meant to return one day . Does that mean Merlin will too?” Kilgharrah shook his head, “I do not know , Arthur . The prophecies were written centuries before you and Merlin were even born. They all ended with your death and Merlin being immortal. What he did forever altered not only your fate but the fates of all those around you. What will happen remains to be seen. No one can say if he will return.” “Perhaps I can call on you again,” Arthur said, “I am certain you miss him too.” “I would like that, Arthur ,” the dragon said then launched into the air and flew away , vanishing over the hills. Gwaine picked up the crystal placing it back inside the leather pouch. They made their way back to the horses in silence until they were in the saddle, heading toward the V alley of the Fallen Kings. “Arthur , did Merlin ever tell you what happened to him after the two of you were separated by the rock fall that day? When the bandits took him. When we found him, he was not himself.” “He never spoke of it again.” “I could not help but wonder if Mor gana had him and he escaped. Especially knowing now that he had magic.” “He would not have risked using magic to escape from her . She would have realized he was Emrys. I am certain she did not know who he was until Mordred told her after he left Camelot. That is why she sent that creature to steal his magic.” “Makes sense,” Gwaine nodded, “I cannot begin to imagine how terrified he must have been to lose something that was such a part of him…something he had always been able to rely on from the day he was born. It is no wonder he panicked when those bandits attacked us in the Valley of the Fallen Kings when I was taking him to the Crystal Cave.” “I always wondered why , even when he was so clearly scared, he never lost faith that we would prevail no matter what we faced. I guess now I know why…he had his magic.” “No, Arthur ,” Gwaine smiled, “He had faith in you. Magic needed you as much as you needed Magic. Merlin’ s mother said it best…you were two sides of the same coin.” Arthur glanced over at Gwaine and nodded, “Thank you for coming on this journey with me.” “Nowhere else I would rather be.” “Do you think the dragon is right? That Merlin may not want to come to me?” Gwaine thought for a moment then shook his head, “All I know is Merlin loved you. I think he will want to see you again as much as you want to see him.” “There is so much I need to say , and I have no idea how long I will have to say it. When I summoned my father , I had little time before he told me I must go or risk being trapped in the world of the dead. Then I made the mistake of looking back as the veil closed releasing his spirit into this world. It was his ghost that hurt Percival and Guinevere, damaged the Round Table. Merlin and I had to hunt him down to send him back. He nearly killed Merlin, pinned him to a door in the armory with two spears. I blew the horn and right before he vanished, he tried to say something about Merlin. I think he was going to tell me about his magic. He must have used magic to fight my father after he knocked me out.” “Ah yes, poetry ,” Gwaine chuckled. “What?” “Oh, Leon told us how he found you and Merlin alone, sneaking around the castle in the dark. Arthur scof fed, “What did you all think we were doing?” “Poetry of course,” Gwaine grinned, wagging his eyebrows. “I never…could never let myself have…” Arthur said his voice trailing of f. “You are an honorable man, Arthur . You would never betray Gwen or hurt Merlin.” “Yes, but it did not stop me from wondering what it would be like,” Arthur blushed. He fell silent as they rode through a narrow ravine following the brook. Gwaine knew he needed to keep him talking. “Tell me more about when you and Merlin first met.” “You’re just trying to keep me talking,” Arthur said narrowing his eyes. “Well, either you talk, or I will, and we both know how much you enjoy my mindless chatter ,” Gwaine laughed. “Come on, tell me. I really want to know .” “Fine,” the king smirked. “I was not of ficially the Crown Prince yet, and needless to say I was a bit of a bully…an ass, as Merlin called me that day .” “Sounds about right,” Gwaine chuckled. “You want to hear this or not?” “Sorry , Sire, do go on.” “My servant prior to Merlin, his name was Morris…dull, spineless, and what Merlin would call a bootlicker . I was on the training grounds with my equally bootlicking friends at the time. I was showing of f and I may have been throwing knives at the tar get my servant was carrying as he tried to place it for me. He lost his hold on it and the tar get rolled across the ground and fell at Merlin’ s feet, he placed his boot on it and says to me that’ s enough that I’d had my fun.” You’ve had your fun, my friend… Those words brought both a smile and tears. Arthur swiped them away and told Gwaine the rest of their first interactions leaving his knight laughing so hard that he could barely breathe. “You asked him if he knew how to walk on his knees?” Gwaine asked, fighting of f another wave of laughter . “I did,” Arthur said unable to hold back a smirk. “You really were an ass,” Gwaine chuckled. “Yes, and Merlin was quite adept at pointing out my flaws and telling me when I was being an idiot. He was the only person to ever do so and get away with it. T ruthfully , it is the reason I kept him around. He never failed to challenge me when I was doing the wrong thing or encouraged me when I was doubting myself. He created a damn sword for me of all things. Gods, Gwaine I did not deserve him.” “The way I see it, you needed him in your life. Y ou were surrounded by people who only told you what you wanted to hear and would never stand up to you when you were being a prat.” “Yes, and then you came along,” Arthur laughed, “Y ou and your hatred of nobles. Why is that anyway? Y ou never told me.” “No one knows, save for Merlin.” “You may as well tell me now .” “If I tell you I will have to kill you,” Gwaine said, and Arthur laughed. “My father was a knight in Caerleon’ s army . A noble. Fought and died for the king and yet when my mother went to him for help, he turned her away . As soon as I was old enough, I left home and made a living doing whatever I could. I would go back home and leave money with her every chance I got. Until the day I went back to find that she had died, and my heartless sister was gone…married some noble in another kingdom.” “I am so sorry , Gwaine.” Gwaine shook his head and smiled sadly , “That day I met you and Merlin in the tavern…I had just come from there. I had planned to drink myself into a stupor . Instead, I met this courageous and stupid man who started a fight he could not win and his best friend who dragged my wounded arse back to Camelot and gave me a reason to keep fighting.” Arthur nodded, “And ended up saving my life again. I could have made you a knight if you had told me the truth. My father would have overturned his decision easily if he had known.” “I could not have served under a king like Uther ,” Gwaine said, “I am proud to serve you, Arthur . You stood up for me against your father and I have never for gotten that.” “When Merlin went to you for help after I left for the Perilous Lands, you agreed to help because of him, not me. I knew that. Y ou were a good friend to him. I think you serve me because of him more than out of duty to me.” “Merlin was the first and only true friend I’d ever had,” Gwaine said, “I think we bonded over the fact that neither of us really knew our fathers and grew up without them in our lives. What was Merlin’ s father like?” Arthur let out a breath, “I didn’ t get a chance to really know him before he was killed by one of Cenred’ s men. But what I saw was a man who had survived against all odds and was strong, brave, and far more powerful than I ever could have imagined…like father like son…” “Yes,” Gwaine nodded, “What would you have done…if Merlin had told you about his magic sooner?” “I have asked myself that question a hundred times, Gwaine, and I am ashamed to say I still do not know the answer . All I know for certain is that I could never have let him die. Even in the beginning, I would have protected him, or at least I would like to believe I would have. Gods, my father has been so wrong about so much. I wish I could repair all the damage his hatred has done.” “The Great Pur ge began when you were born and your mother died,” Gwaine said. “Yes,” Arthur said. “And Merlin…he was born of magic…was magic…and he was a few years younger than you.” “What are you getting at?” “When Merlin destroyed Mor gana, what his magic did, healing us and Kilgharrah. God knows what else it touched…all that power , it had to come from somewhere. The magic released in the Great Pur ge, from the slaughtering of sorcerers…what if Merlin was born of that magic?” “If that is true,” Arthur ’s eyes widened, “Then why would he be destined to protect me, the son of the king who was responsible for the Great Pur ge…essentially the reason for it?” “You were born of magic, Merlin was born with magic,” Gwaine said, “T wo sides of the same coin…together you would bring balance. Build a world of peace and end the war on magic.” Arthur stared at his knight for a moment. “When did you become such a deep thinker ,” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow . Gwaine chuckled and shook his head, “I’m just putting the pieces together .” Arthur frowned, “I did not deserve him. I was blind to his deeds and his suf fering…just as I was to Mor gana’ s. I could have saved her…I should have saved him.” “Mor gana was beyond saving, Arthur . Her hatred was born of fear . That changes a person to their very core. She held me captive enough, I got to know her quite well. Behind those beautiful, haunted eyes was a soul filled with pain, bitterness, and rage that no one could have overcome. I would bet my life that Merlin tried, and if he could not save her , what chance did you have?” “You’re probably right,” Arthur said, “They were once friends, you know . Merlin and Morgana…there was a time when I thought, they were more. But then something happened that caused a rift between them. Something changed after Mor gause and the Knights of Medhir attacked Camelot. She put all the people to sleep, only Mor gana was still awake… now I know why . Then something happened, the knights stopped and Mor gause took her away . We searched for more than a year . When we finally found her and brought her home, Merlin was visibly shaken. It was as if he did not want her back in Camelot.” “I’m sure he had good reason.” “Yes, I am certain he did. I just wish I knew the truth. I will probably never know everything.” “Probably not, and the dragon did say there were things Merlin did...that could be one of them.” “I didn’ t know at the time that Mor gana was my half-sister ,” Arthur shook his head, “I am not certain when she learned the truth, but I believe it was that knowledge that made her turn against our father . She became so twisted, a dark vengeful witch, determined to take back her birthright.” “Uther was at fault, not you, Arthur . And definitely not Merlin. Whatever he did, he did out of love for you and Camelot. The choice he made that day to stop her , it was made for the very same reason. He saw no other way out.” Arthur swiped at his eyes again and nodded, “I know .” “We will reach the Crystal Cave soon. It is not much farther . We should set up camp for the night and wait until morning to use the crystal?” “That’ s probably wise,” Arthur said, “I want to be rested and thinking clearly when I do this. We only have one shot at it.” “I know a good spot, not far from the cave. W e can set up camp there and take a look inside before we do anything.” They rode down into a ravine that looked vaguely familiar to Arthur . As they got of f the horses, he remembered. It was the day bandits had chased him and Merlin. He’d been shot in the back with an arrow , the bandits were on top of them. Y et Merlin had not only fended them of f somehow but healed him from what easily could have been a fatal wound. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked as he got the fire going, “Are you all right?” “Yes, it’ s just I have been here before…with Merlin. W e were running from bandits, and I was shot in the back with an arrow . Merlin told me it did not pierce my armor , but I remember now .” “What else can you remember?” “I could hear Merlin talking to me. Just flashes of memory , I remember hearing him crying. At one point I heard him talking to someone, but there was no one else there. It makes no sense,” Arthur said shaking his head. “When I woke up the next morning, I was healed, and Merlin was behaving oddly . He seemed traumatized by something.” “Something he saw in the Crystal Cave,” Gwaine said knowingly . “It is said that the Crystal of Neahtid had the power to show the future. If it came from the cave…” “Merlin’ s magic allowed him to see the future through the crystals in the cave. It would explain why he was so upset.” “Merlin must have seen something about Mor gana. It was shortly after we returned to Camelot, she left her chambers late one night and somehow ended up falling down the stairs fracturing her skull. She was dying then inexplicably healed…Merlin must have healed her . He healed her despite knowing what she would become. He could have just let her die.” Gwaine looked down at the fire, “Merlin still had hope that he would be able to help her . He must have known that she was your sister .” “I remember telling him that I would give up my place on the throne for her to see another sunrise,” Arthur said, “He saved her life because I wanted her to live. W e grew up together and I loved her as a sister . I could not bear the thought of losing her . Everything Merlin did was for me. He tried to save my father too. But Mor gana interfered in the spell, he died and Merlin…the guilt he must have felt. He risked so much.” “I still can’ t believe that old sorcerer was Merlin all along,” Gwaine huf fed a laugh. “It is no wonder he kept his secret from me, even after my father was gone. I lashed out and tried to kill him. Then later , when he came to me as himself, I told him I had lost both my parents to magic…that it was pure evil, and I would never lose sight of that again. I was essentially telling Merlin that he was pure evil.” “And if your father had lived…do you really believe things would have changed for Merlin?” “No, I would not have been able to free magic until I became king. He would have still had to hide who he was.” “And yet Merlin still tried to save Uther knowing full well that either way he would have to continue to live in the shadows,” Gwaine said shaking his head. “He could have done nothing and just let my father die…it would have been easier and safer for him to do so. Merlin risked everything to help me because I asked him to. Just as he did with Mor gana. I was angry at him for keeping his magic a secret and yet I never gave him a reason to trust me with that secret.” “All that matters is that you accepted him in the end. Now , sit down here and eat something, then get some rest,” Gwaine said. “No, not yet. I need to see the cave. Where is the entrance?” Gwaine got up, grabbed his sword then headed down a path. “This way ,” he said, and Arthur followed him. They walked into the mouth of the cave. Gwaine found a discarded torch and lit it. They climbed up over the rocks, moving deeper into the cavern until they emer ged into a wide-open area filled with glowing crystals. “Gwaine, return to camp, keep watch I need to be alone,” Arthur said. Gwaine nodded and went to pass him the torch, but he refused it. “You won’ t be able to see your way out of here.” “And neither will you if I take the torch.” “Fine, I will come back for you in a little while,” Gwaine said. “Thank you again, Gwaine…for being here with me. I am not sure I could have faced this on my own.” “You’re welcome,” he said then made his way back out of the cave leaving Arthur alone. Arthur sat down on the ground in the center of the crystals and closed his eyes. Even without magic, he could feel the power emanating from them. Merlin had come here to regain his magic after Mor gana’ s creature stole it from him. Arthur could imagine him there, injured, and scared…trapped because of the cave-in caused by Mor gana. “Merlin, can you hear me,” Arthur asked, tears pooling in his eyes, “I miss you. I need to see you again, to talk to you. There is so much I need to say . So much I have to make up for . Merlin, please…” Arthur sat in silence listening. He heard the trickle of water as it ran down the wall of the cave into the crystal-clear pool where they would place the Crystal of Neahtid for the summoning. He was tempted to go back to camp, get the crystal and perform it now , but his mind was foggy . He wanted to be rested and focused. “Is anyone there,” he asked receiving no response. “I will return tomorrow ,” Arthur got to his feet and headed toward the mouth of the cave. He was able to see well enough without the torch and reached the entrance just as Gwaine came through. “Are you all right?” he asked. “I will be tomorrow , if this works,” Arthur said stepping out into the night. Gwaine hesitated a moment glancing back up toward the crystals. He feared what would happen if Merlin refused to appear . Arthur would be devastated. “Merlin, Arthur needs you, my friend. Please, do not refuse him when he summons you,” Gwaine said then followed his king. Arthur woke at dawn, but he let Gwaine sleep a little longer while he went over the words Gaius had written down. At least it was not the language of the Old Religion. He wondered if it would even work. What if nothing happened? W ould that mean it failed or that Merlin refused to come through? “Did you get any sleep at all?” Gwaine asked as he sat up rubbing his eyes. “I did…a few hours here and there.” “You are exhausted.” “I’ll sleep for a week after I see Merlin and talk to him.” Gwaine studied him closely . “Are you sure you will be able to move on if Merlin refuses to show?” “I cannot think about that possibility right now ,” Arthur said then got up, retrieving the Crystal of Neahtid from Gwaine’ s saddlebag. “I’m going to do this now .” “I’m coming with you,” Gwaine said then pulled on his boots, grabbed the torch, lit it in the fire, and followed his king. The sun was just coming over the crest of the hill, its golden rays filtering through the trees, illuminating the mouth of the cave. They stepped inside and then climbed up to the crystals. Looking around, Gwaine nodded toward the pool. “That must be it,” he said. Arthur nodded approaching it as he slipped the crystal from the leather pouch and dropped to his knees in front of the pool. He placed it in the water and then looked at Gwaine. He took a breath before reading the words on the parchment. When he finished, he stood up and stepped back. At first, nothing happened, but a moment later a low hum began. It grew louder , the crystal began to vibrate in the water causing ripples on the surface. “Merlin,” Arthur said his voice pleading. He did not care if he had to beg, he would do it. “Merlin, I need you…please,” he said. He saw Gwaine step back a bit. “Scared?” he asked him with a slight smile. “No, not at all,” Gwaine smirked, though his eyes were wide. “Arthur ,” a deep voice reverberated of f the walls that was definitely not Merlin. Arthur turned around to see a familiar bearded figure standing a few feet away . “Balinor…” he said. The man was solid but had a bluish light around him. “King Arthur ,” Balinor smiled fondly , “He said you would come.” “Merlin? Where is he? Please, I need to see him…speak with him.” “In due time,” Balinor said, “There is something you need to see first.” “If Merlin is afraid, he does not have to be.” Balinor nodded, stepping closer , “Great King, there are many things my son was forced to do of which he is not proud. After you see what I am about to show you, if you still want to speak to him, he will come through the veil.” Arthur nodded, “So, be it, but there is nothing you can show me that will change my mind.” “Very well,” Balinor said then stepped back waving a hand toward the lar gest of the crystals and suddenly there were images. Gwaine put out the torch and then moved to stand with Arthur . “W atch, Arthur…” the older man nodded, and the images moved through the crystals. Arthur inhaled sharply as he saw moments from Merlin’ s life flashing before his eyes. From before he came to Camelot, his mother ’s letter to Gaius. He smiled as he saw a happy , carefree Merlin walking along the road, arriving in Camelot only to witness a beheading of a sorcerer first thing. “I would have turned tail and run if that were my first experience in Camelot, and I don’ t even have magic,” Gwaine said. Arthur shook his head, “But he stayed.” He kept his eyes on the crystals taking it all in. Their first meeting…their fight, then the banquet hall, the falling chandelier , and time visibly slowing while Merlin pulled Arthur out of the path of the witch’ s dagger . Valiant and the snakes, Nimueh and the poison that Merlin drank to save him, the light orb in the cave, Lancelot and the Grif fin, Edwin trying to kill his father , and Merlin saving him. Sophia, Aulfric, Kanen, and the bandits in Ealdor…the wind that turned the battle. Arthur saw the unicorn and Anhora, The Questing Beast, and the battle with Nimueh, Merlin was hit by a ball of fire, lying on the ground only to get to his feet and draw lightning from the sky , killing Nimueh. He was shocked to see the beast he had wounded, had actually been Freya…Freya from the Lake of A valon. Merlin had loved her . She died in Merlin’ s arms on the shore of the lake. Arthur had taken away the one person Merlin found who could understand him…accept him for who he truly was…love him the way he deserved to be loved. Even that did not compare to the shock of seeing the image of Merlin poisoning Mor gana and his releasing of the Great Dragon and the moment he learned who his father was before they set out on their quest to find Balinor . The moment Balinor learned who Merlin was and seeing them together by the fire while Arthur slept. The depth of emotion in Merlin’ s face when his father said good night to him for the first…and last…time in his life. Balinor ’s death and the overwhelming grief in Merlin’ s eyes…how he had struggled to hide it from Arthur who’d told him no man was worth his tears. Then the confrontation with the dragon and Merlin realizing his powers as a Dragonlord, speaking to Kilgharrah in a voice that sent shivers all through Arthur ’s body . The images continued and Arthur had no idea how he managed to absorb all of it, it had to be the magic enabling him to grasp and understand each and every moment as they flashed quickly . He laughed aloud when he saw Merlin release the Goblin. Then remembered his donkey ears and braying and his father ’s bald head the flatulence… “Should have known he was responsible for that,” he smirked. “Sorry I missed that one,” Gwaine chuckled. The images continued through the years everything from Elena being a changeling, to yet more of Mor gana’ s deception and the bizarre and quite frightening Manticore which Merlin fought. It was the stuf f of nightmares. Then the discovery of Arthur and Guinevere’ s relationship and Merlin changing into the old sorcerer to clear her name only to nearly end up burned on the pyre himself. The young sorcerer who fought Uther in the tournament. Merlin befriending the boy and trying to teach him the right way to use magic. It's...lonely . To...be mor e powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow . To...be special and…and have to pr etend you'r e a fool. I know how it feels, I understand. “Merlin,” Arthur shook his head watching the scene. Merlin with a flame burning in the palm of his hand, revealing his true self to this boy in an attempt to convince him not to fight. “Gods, you should never have been made to feel that way .” The next scenes were of their quest to find the Cup of Life. Then the loss of Camelot and Morgana crowned queen, slaughtering its citizens in her lust for power . Her telling their father that she hated him. Merlin retrieving the sword from the Lake of A valon to save Camelot from the immortal Army by spilling the blood from the Cup of Life, the Doracha, the death of Uther , and Merlin saving the dragon’ s egg from the tomb of Ashkanar and hatching the white dragon into the world…her name was Aithusa. The battle with Queen Annis and her giant and watching Merlin’ s eyes flash gold as he helped Arthur in the fight when Mor gana’ s spell made his sword impossible to wield. Then came the moment both he and Gwaine had wondered about. Merlin restrained, hanging by his arms in Mor gana’ s hovel in pain and soaking wet. Mor gana putting the head of a damn snake in the back of his neck commanding him to kill Arthur . Followed by Merlin’ s many failed attempts to obey her . It was then that something occurred to Gwaine. “Arthur , when we found him, he was covered in mud from head to toe and you hugged him anyway . Was that the only time you ever showed him af fection? Every time prior , at the Fisher King’ s castle, after he survived the Doracha, you never embraced him like that.” “No,” Arthur shook his head, “He tried to hug me once and I refused.” “You do realize that the one and only time you ever hugged him he was under Mor gana’ s control. It is likely that he never even remembered it.” Arthur lowered his gaze and let out a breath, “Y ou are right, Gwaine. I kept him at arms- length, but not for the reason you think.” “Oh, I know why ,” Gwaine smirked. “Enlighten me then,” Arthur said. “Because you knew , if you gave into those feelings, that there would be no turning back.” “I loved him…” “And he loved you. He was Mor gana’ s prisoner ,” Gwaine said, “She was controlling Merlin, and yet every assassination attempt failed almost comically . That tells me Merlin’ s magic was protecting you even though he was not in control.” Arthur nodded, “I have no doubt. He was incapacitated and dying when he sent that light to me in the cave when I went in search of the Mortaeus flower .” The battle between Mor gana and Old Merlin was brutal. Arthur was stunned to see the raw power of his sister and his best friend and knew full well that Merlin could have killed her at any time. He had been holding back. Gwaine was surprised too, letting out a gasp when Merlin swept her up in a mighty whirlwind tossing her like a ragdoll. Then destroying the Fomorrah freeing himself from her control only to return to Camelot and find himself forced into a training session with Geor ge. “Oh, now that was just plain cruel, Arthur ,” Gwaine laughed, “Poor Merlin.” “I thought it was funny at the time,” Arthur said, “But not so much now that I know what he went through. I feel like such a fool…a selfish idiot.” The images flashed faster , the Lamia then the return of Lancelot who had not actually been Lancelot, but a shade sent by Mor gana to interfere in his and Guinevere’ s wedding. Arthur was relieved to know the truth…to know his friend Lancelot had not actually betrayed him. He chuckled as he saw Merlin’ s little pranks on him while Mithian was in Camelot. The spilling of the soup, the uncontrollable burping. “Jealous, Merlin,” Gwaine laughed heartily . “Jealous, no, he was just upset that I was moving on from Guinevere.” “No, my friend, that was pure jealousy because he was watching the man he loved with yet another beautiful woman,” Gwaine smirked. “Don’ t be ridiculous, Gwaine,” Arthur shook his head then watched the images from the hunt and the deer which had been an enchanted Guinevere. He saw Merlin’ s eyes flash gold and the arrow he had shot went wide only for Mithian to fire and hit her . He felt sick to his stomach. Merlin had ridden out in the night alone to find her…healed her with his magic. “Merlin…” Arthur choked. Then came the deception of Agravaine, Arthur wanted to punch something as he saw all that his uncle had done. He had been working with Mor gana from the start. Undermining his authority at every turn. The kidnapping of Gaius, yet another time when Arthur should have listened to Merlin and did not. Merlin using magic to turn him into a simpleton and putting him in those ridiculous clothes. Then an image of Merlin calling Kilgharrah and the dragon wiping out the majority of Agravaine’ s army . Gwaine let out an impressed whistle and Arthur wanted to see it again… there was just something about Merlin’ s dragon powers…the deep, resonating, almost animalistic tone to his voice. Next came the image that confirmed Arthur ’s fears. Merlin in the tunnels, facing Agravaine and what was left of his army and being forced to use his magic to kill them all. “Merlin did kill Agravaine,” Arthur said. “I should have listened to him when he tried to tell me that my uncle was working against me. Merlin should not have been put in that position…I let him go back there alone. It should have been me to face him. I should never have trusted my uncle.” “Agravaine was your family , it is understandable that you would trust him.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “I should have learned from Mor gana’ s betrayal that family means nothing. Even my father betrayed me in so many ways. It was Merlin, all these years… Merlin who I should have trusted fully , he was my other half…my friend, my family , and more.” “More?” Gwaine grinned. “Shut up,” Arthur rolled his eyes. The next image was Arthur pulling the sword from the stone, the golden light, and the pride in Merlin’ s eyes as he’d helped Arthur to believe in himself again. Merlin sneaking back into the citadel planting some magical object under Mor gana’ s bed that had rendered her temporarily powerless. Now , he knew the meaning behind her comment about Emrys. How wrong she had been, because Emrys was right there in front of her all along, protecting Arthur . Merlin had saved them yet again and they had retaken Camelot and Mor gana disappeared. As the images moved on into the last year , before the battle at Camlann, Arthur saw for the first time just how hard it had been for Merlin. How weighed down and unhappy he had become, rarely smiling. T ears filled his eyes as he saw Merlin fighting every single damn day to keep him alive. The worst was seeing him dying alone on the forest floor after being poisoned by Mor gana and thrown over a clif f only to recover with the help of that boy and then they returned to Camelot in time to save Arthur from the Sarrum’ s assassin. An assassin Guinevere ordered. Seeing her now , knowing it was her all along trying to kill him because of Mor gana’ s ritual. He could barely breathe as he saw Merlin’ s tears after he had uttered the deep guttural words to heal Arthur from the poison, once again saving his king. Then saving Guinevere from Mor gana’ s curse, becoming The Dolma to do so, because he could not use magic in front of Arthur . “Oh, Merlin,” Arthur gasped. The rest was a blur , the betrayal of Mordred, the creature that stole Merlin’ s magic, his goodbye to Gwaine, the confrontation between him and Mor gana in the cave, and Merlin healing. Regaining his magic in time to warn Arthur using the crystals. When it was all over, Arthur and Gwaine stood frozen in place struggling to grasp it all. “Gwaine, I saw the look in your eyes when you and Merlin parted. Y ou knew…” Arthur turned to him and shook his head. “Not exactly , I wondered if he had magic, but I never knew for certain. Just something inside me knew that would be the last time I would see Merlin. I felt it, deep in my soul, that one or both of us would not survive.” Arthur watched the last of the images. The moment Merlin told him he had magic…that he was a sorcerer . He was ashamed as Gwaine watched his reaction expecting to feel his knight’ s judgment. “You took it better than I thought you would,” Gwaine said with a huf f. “Yes, well, I am not proud of that. I should have been more understanding…what it took for him to finally tell me his deepest secret.” The last scene was the moment Merlin sacrificed himself and as it faded away they both stood there silent and stunned. “Do you understand,” Balinor asked as he stepped forward, “Why Merlin is afraid?” Arthur shook his head, “It does not matter…none of it matters, Balinor . I want…I need to see Merlin…to talk to him.” “Then you can for give my son?” Balinor asked. “No,” Arthur said, “There is nothing to for give. It is I who needs to make amends for what I did, for how I treated him. I need to ask him to for give me.” “Arthur…” Merlin’ s voice came from all around them, and Arthur smiled. “Merlin, thank God,” he let out a breathy laugh, “Merlin, please, I need you to show yourself to me…you have nothing to fear .” Balinor stepped back revealing Merlin standing just behind him, an uneasy smile on his face. Arthur stared at him unable to believe he was really there. Merlin came closer , like his father , there was a bluish glow around him, but he was solid…he was there. He reached out a hand to touch the face of his king, but all Arthur could feel was a warm tingling sensation. His heart sank as he had hoped to be able to touch Merlin. “I am so glad to see you,” Arthur breathed out. “You really came,” Merlin said, “I mean, I hoped, but I wasn’ t sure how you felt about magic after everything.” “I need to feel you,” Arthur choked. It was a struggle to find the words, to get out what he needed to say before Merlin went away again. “I’m afraid that’ s not possible, but I am here, Arthur .” “Merlin, for give me…there is so much I did not know . Things you went through. The loss of your father , Freya, W ill…I am so sorry I was not there for you all those times you needed me. I am sorry I let you be captured and tortured by Mor gana. I am sorry for the hurtful thing I said to you before Camlann, you are not a coward, and you were always the bravest man I ever met. I was stupid and selfish; I should have seen that you were in trouble.” “You had a war looming, I never blamed you for that. If it makes you feel any better , I cheated at dice in the tavern that night when I took all your money ,” Merlin gave him a cheeky grin. “Not the first time is it,” Arthur chuckled. “Gaius told you what happened? Why I had to leave?” “We pieced it together ,” Arthur glanced at Gwaine, “Gaius just confirmed it.” Merlin then looked at Gwaine, “Hello, Gwaine!” “Merlin,” Gwaine smiled through his own tears, “I miss you, my friend. Thank you for bringing me back from the dead.” “Anytime,” Merlin smiled then turned back to Arthur . “I tried so hard to get to you before Mordred could…” Merlin said lowering his gaze, “Kilgharrah warned me long ago when Mordred first came to Camelot…he said I should let him die or kill him myself and I just could not do it. Mor gana…what she became was all my fault.” “None of it was your fault and I am proud of you for not acting on the dragon’ s warnings. Mordred deserved to live…he deserved a chance to choose his own path and he did so. If anything, I pushed him right into Mor gana’ s waiting arms.” Merlin nodded, “Y ou…me…Mor gana…Mordred…our destinies were entwined. Everything happened because I lost sight of my humanity and made choices that I should not have made. If I had reached out to Mor gana and Mordred…if I had told you about my magic sooner… Arthur shook his head, “W e haven’ t much time, Merlin, I do not want to dwell on the past. The magic in the crystal will not last much longer . Gods, I want so badly to hold you in my arms right now , to tell you…” “I know , Arthur ,” Merlin smiled fondly . “No, I need to tell you,” Arthur said with tears sliding down his face, “I love you, Merlin. I love you more than I can ever say . I am sorry I buried my feelings for you. I was scared…” “Arthur ,” Merlin grinned, “I love you too. From the moment we met, I think.” “You called me an ass,” Arthur chuckled through his tears. “And a prat,” Merlin smiled, “But there is no one I would have rather served. I told you, I was born to serve you, Arthur , and I am so damn proud of that. I would not change a single thing.” “Oh, Guinevere is with child,” Arthur said, “I’m going to be a father . She wanted me to thank you for all you did for her as well.” Merlin beamed, “That makes me very happy . Knowing your child will grow up with both parents in a kingdom of peace. Just promise you won’ t name him after me…or her .” “There will always only be one Merlin in my life,” Arthur smiled, tears pooling in his eyes. “You are the other half of my soul and I feel so lost without you by my side. I should have told you long ago what you mean to me, Merlin.” “I think I knew . Sometimes the way you looked at me…I felt it. Even when you were throwing things and calling me names. Arthur chuckled, “Horseplay…” “I didn’ t mind really .” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, what you did…what you lost…your magic and your life. I was meant to die, not you. Do you even know what your sacrifice did to the prophecies? What will happen now? W ill you return one day , as I was meant to?” “Arthur , I did what I had to do to make sure you lived. Y ou are the king; I was but a servant. I would make the same decision all over again. My magic will never be completely gone as it is a part of my soul. As far as the prophecies…I do not know any more now than I did in life, except that you will live on to be the king I always dreamed you would be. And you have Gwen and soon a child. Remember me, live for me, be happy and tell everyone back in Camelot that I am all right. I am at peace.” Arthur brought his hands up trying to feel Merlin there, but he was just ener gy…magic. “I want you back,” he said softly . Merlin’ s eyes glistened as he appeared to be crying, “Arthur , please do not feel sadness or grief any longer . I am and always will be a part of you. Look after Gaius for me, tell him I’m sorry for leaving him. T ell my mother that I love her and that I am with my father . Tell Kilgharrah that I expect him to do all he can to protect you and Camelot in my absence. Merlin stepped closer pressing his forehead to Arthur ’s even though they couldn’ t actually feel each other . “I will make sure that you are remembered by everyone in the kingdom and beyond. I want to honor you the way you should have been in life.” “That is not why I did it, Arthur . I do not need honor or recognition. I just need to know that you are alive and well and happy ,” Merlin said then drew back slightly , “Arthur , Mor gana is with me. All this time she was under a curse placed on her by Mor gause during the year she was missing. It twisted her anger and fear turning her into a monster . She wanted me to tell you she is sorry for everything, though she knows that means little after all she did.” “Mor gana was cursed?” Arthur asked and Merlin nodded. “She is free of it, it released her when she died. She is at peace now , Arthur . Remember Morgana as she was before, kind, beautiful, and full of life. I am going to look after her as I should have done in life.” “Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her that I understand, that I for give her . That I still love her , I always did.” Merlin smiled, “I will tell her .” Then he looked at Gwaine and smiled, “Y ou will look after this dollop head for me?” “Always, Merlin,” Gwaine nodded, “It was good to see you again.” “You too, old friend,” Merlin said then turned back to Arthur , “I must go now . The magic of the crystal is fading.” “No, not yet,” Arthur said his voice catching in his throat, “Please…” “I have to go, but before I do…I need you to promise me that you will not use the Crystal of Neahtid to try to summon me again.” “No, Kilgharrah made that quite clear ,” Arthur shook his head. “Good,” Merlin smiled, “T ell me you haven’ t replaced me with a bootlicker .” “I can never replace you, Merlin…with a bootlicker or otherwise.” “Time to go, Arthur ,” Merlin said taking a step back, “Goodbye…be well and be happy .” “Merlin…” “Always…” Merlin said as he and his father stepped back vanishing in a bright bluish-white light. Arthur stood where he was for several minutes then collapsed to his knees, bowing his head. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, “Are you all right?” “No,” he huf fed a laugh, “But I suppose I will have to be.” “Come on, let’ s get you out of here,” Gwaine retrieved the crystal slipping it back into the leather pouch that Arthur had dropped on the ground. He relit the torch and nodded. “W e will get some food and rest then we can head back. W e should be able to reach Camelot before nightfall if we hurry .” Arthur got to his feet and with one last glance at the place where Merlin had stood, he turned and followed his knight out of the cave. He paused for a moment at the entrance when he heard Merlin’ s distant voice. Goodbye, Clotpole. He laughed aloud and Gwaine turned to look at him. “What?” “Nothing…let’ s go home,” Arthur smiled then putting his arm around the other man’ s shoulder , they walked back to their camp. The Circle of Life Six months later… Arthur paced the floor just outside of Gaius’ chambers his hands clasped behind his head, worry etched on his face, and tears pooling in his eyes. He was terrified. He kept seeing over and over in his head, his Guinevere collapsing to the floor in the middle of the feast, clutching her swollen belly , crying out in pain. She had looked up at him as he tried to comfort her after sending for Gaius. Arthur…our baby…something is wr ong… The sheer terror he felt at that moment. His mother had died giving birth to him. W as fate so cruel that it would cause history to repeat itself? W ould he lose his beautiful Guinevere and their baby? No, this cannot happen…not again. He glanced at the closed door again hearing whimpers and cries from his wife. Gaius had forced him to leave, he needed room to work, and Arthur was in the way , but he wanted to be with her . Needed to be with her . He turned and stopped short of punching the stone wall, instead pressing his palms flat against it then bowed his head. “Please…please, do not take them,” his voice came out in a stuttered cry of sheer pain. “Y ou took my mother…you took my father…” He let out a ragged breath then looked up, “Y ou took Merlin from me. Please, I beg of you,” Arthur choked, “Do not take my Guinevere… our child. I will do anything…anything…” “Arthur ,” Hunith said from the doorway , “You should come in now .” “Hunith I can’ t…I can’ t lose them,” he closed his eyes to hold back the tears as she caressed his cheek. “Arthur , come inside,” she nodded the grief in her eyes and her reassuring touch forced him to pull himself together he stepped into the room where Guinevere lay on the bed next to the fire. She reached her hand out for him and he dropped to his knees kissing it and then her forehead. Her hair was wet, and her face twisted in pain. “Arthur…” she gasped. She was so weak that she could barely lift her head. “Guinevere, please don’ t leave me,” he whispered, “I love you…” he looked up at Gaius meeting the old physician’ s gaze. His eyes held the same grief as Hunith’ s. “Gaius, save them, please…you have to save them!” “I’ve done all I can, Arthur ,” Gaius said, “The baby is coming, but I am afraid there is much bleeding inside. The baby is turned the wrong way…a breech. I cannot risk trying to turn the baby with Gwen already bleeding so heavily . To do so would risk both their lives.” Arthur nodded in understanding then looked into Gwen’ s eyes, “I am so sorry .” “Arthur , I don’ t want to leave you,” she cried. “There has to be something…magic…” he lowered his head. “My magic is not powerful enough, Sire,” Gaius said as he sat down on a bench. “If Merlin were here…” “Arthur , I’m afraid this would not even be within his power .” Gwen screamed, her fingers gripping the edges of the bed. She was shaking uncontrollably , and her skin was cold to the touch. Arthur was lost, he did not know what to do, and he was afraid to touch her and cause her more pain. He looked down seeing the blood and he knew…he was losing her . Hunith put her hands on Arthur ’s shoulders, “Arthur , let me take care of her .” He looked up at her and gave a slight nod then got to his feet moving to sit on the steps leading to Merlin’ s old room. Drawing his knees up, he pressed his hands to his face and wept silently . Merlin stood on the shore of A valon a heavy feeling had settled over him. Something was wrong…very wrong. Arthur… He bent down and placed a hand over the water , his eyes flashing gold. He saw Arthur lost and alone as Gwen screamed in pain. He heard Gaius and saw his mother helping to take care of her . “No!” Merlin yelled as he saw the blood and he knew . “No, please!” he screamed into the sky, “Stop this, please…Arthur cannot lose them!” “My child…” a woman wrapped in a soft white glow appeared over the water , “What distresses you so?” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur has lost enough. Do not take his wife and baby . I beg of you, White Goddess. Spare them.” “You insist on challenging the fates yet again for your king?” she asked with a raised eyebrow and a soft smile. “Have you not yet learned your lesson…what happens when you go against destiny?” “Save them, please! I will do anything. Y ou can take back my magic…” “Ah, Merlin, even in this world you continue to sacrifice yourself for King Arthur . He has moved on, as should you. I will not take back your magic.” “I cannot stand by and allow him to suf fer the loss of Gwen and their child. Not when there is something I can do to save them!” Merlin shouted. “What makes you think you can save them?” The Goddess studied him with narrowed eyes then lifted her head slightly and smiled. “V ery well…choose one,” she said bluntly . “What?” he asked, his eyes going wide. “Choose, Merlin, Guinevere, or the child. Choose, or both will die.” “How can I possibly make such a choice?” “You must do so now , my child. The queen or the heir? Which will live?” Merlin dropped to his knees on the shore, tears streaming down his face. He lowered his head focusing on the images in the water . Gwen or the baby , he could not choose…but if he did not, Arthur would lose them both. The kingdom would lose its queen and the heir to the throne…Arthur ’s legacy . “Merlin, you must choose,” the White Goddess said. Looking up at her , his eyes wide and filled with tears, “Arthur will be devastated.” “Yes, he will be, but you can spare him the loss of his wife or his child. I am only of fering you this chance out of love for you, my proudest creation…my gift to the world.” Merlin looked down at the images on the water's surface again then got to his feet. He swiped at his eyes and looked at her . His voice came out rough and deep. “I choose the child. Save their baby , please.” “Very well,” the goddess nodded then she took the tip of her silver staf f and swirled it through the images in the water and her eyes glowed bright white. Merlin stumbled back a step. A moment later she was gone, and he was alone. Arthur sat on the steps holding the tiny bundle in his arms, tears sliding down his face. His son…he had a son. He pressed his lips to the tiny head, a sob escaping his chest. His beautiful Guinevere was gone. How would he ever be able to go on without her? “Arthur , would you like me to take him?” Hunith asked. “No, not yet,” he shook his head. “I want you to know , that I will stay in Camelot and help you all I can,” she said softly . “Thank you, Hunith,” he gave her a sad smile, “He’ s beautiful, isn’ t he.” “Yes, he is,” she said pulling a small stool over so she could sit next to them. “Have you thought of a name?” Arthur nodded, “His name will be Gavin…Gavin Thomas Pendragon.” Hunith smiled, “That is the perfect name. Gavin is a bird…like a Merlin.” “Yes, it is. How do I do this alone?” Arthur asked, “How did you raise Merlin all alone?” “We do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy , Arthur . That is all we can do.” Arthur glanced over at the bed where a sheet covered the body of his Guinevere. “I failed her…I cannot fail him.” “These things happen, it was not your fault. The fact that Gavin survived is a miracle. I have helped to deliver many babies who were breech and they did not make it.” “Gaius…” Arthur said. “He will return soon. He went to inform the court and to make arrangements…” “I just…I can’ t believe she is gone,” Arthur shook his head. “I know , I am so deeply sorry . She was a wonderful woman and queen.” “Thank you for all you did for her through the last months. She loved you so much.” “And I her , we grew close during the time she lived with me in Ealdor . Arthur , she loved you deeply . She wanted this baby…she wanted you to have a son to carry on the Pendragon legacy . She told me many times that meant everything to her .” “I just never thought I would be raising him on my own.” “You will not be alone, you have so many people who love you, Arthur . You are like a son to me. I could not have gotten through Merlin’ s death without you and Gwen. I will always be here for you and Gavin, I promise.” “Thank you,” Arthur smiled reaching over to grasp her hand, “Having you here helped me too.” “Perhaps you should take Gavin to your chambers and get some rest, Arthur . I have arranged for a cradle to be placed in your room. I will come for you when she is ready , and I will stay with him while you say your goodbyes. I must go to the kitchen to prepare more of the milk for his next feeding.” Arthur stared at the bed and then nodded. “All right,” he said then got up carefully supporting the head of his infant son. He kissed Hunith on the forehead then left the room walking down the corridor . He was glad that he did not meet anyone along the way . It was after midnight. W alking into the chambers he had shared with Guinevere he felt the weight of her loss. Glancing down at the child in his arms he smiled. “I won’ t let you down, Guinevere,” he said softly , “I will raise our son. I will never let him forget his mother . He will be loved and cherished, and I promise he will never doubt his worth.” Merlin smiled through his tears as he watched the scene in the water . “Arthur , I am so sorry ,” he whispered. He turned as he heard a noise behind him. He saw Gwen coming toward the lake, looking as she did when she was a servant, wearing the pink dress she had worn the day he took her to the woods to meet Arthur for their picnic. He shook his head as she looked up and saw him. “Merlin!” she gasped and ran into his waiting arms. “Gwen, I am so sorry ,” he choked, tears running down his face. “Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for .” “I wanted to save you both…but the White Goddess forced me to choose.” “I don’ t understand,” Gwen said softly cupping his cheek. “I asked her to save you and the baby , but she made me choose between you. I chose to save the baby ,” Merlin said his voice breaking. “Oh, Merlin,” Gwen smiled brightly , “Thank you…thank you for saving my child. All I wanted was for my baby to live. That is all a mother can ask for .” “Arthur…” “Arthur will be all right,” she said, “He will be a wonderful father . I have no doubt.” “I was afraid…” Merlin shook his head, “I felt Arthur ’s despair , I just wanted to help.” “And you did, Merlin. Y ou saved my life many times, you saved my father , and now you have saved my beautiful baby . I owe you a debt I can never repay .” She stepped back and looked at him, “Y ou look good, Merlin. I have missed you.” “My magic has been slowly returning.” “So, this is where we go when it is over ,” Gwen said, “Y ou are here to greet me?” “Yes, well…it’ s the gateway ,” Merlin nodded, “I just like it here. It is peaceful.” “Where do I go next?” “Come with me,” he smiled then led her out onto the water . He waved a hand and a doorway appeared. It opened and she looked at him with a fond smile. “You’re coming with me then?” “No, but you won’ t be alone,” he nodded as Elyan and T om appeared in the open doorway . “Father! Elyan!” Gwen beamed then embraced Merlin, “Thank you for being here for me.” “I love you, Gwen,” he said then kissed her tenderly , “Go on, now , your family is waiting.” Gwen stepped through the door , and it vanished. Merlin stood there for a moment then looked up as the White Goddess appeared to him again. “It seems you made the right choice, my child.” “Thank you for your help. What will happen now?” “The child will live, it seems he has his own destiny ,” she smiled. “What do you mean?” “That is not for you to know…not yet,” the goddess said then vanished in a white light. “Great,” Merlin muttered, “Y ou’re worse than Kilgharrah.” Three years later… “Gavin!” Hunith called after the young prince, “Gavin, come here child. Are you trying to give me a fright? T ake pity on this old woman.” “Sorry ,” the little sandy-haired, blue-eyed boy gave her a sheepish grin, “I want to see father .” “A training field is no place for a little one,” Hunith beamed as she scooped him up in her arms. He kicked his legs gently , pressing his hand to her cheek. “Please, Hunith…” Letting out a breath, she shook her head, “Fine, but just for a little while. Then you are going to eat your lunch and take an afternoon nap. Promise?” Gavin nodded, “Promise!” Hunith carried him to the training field where Arthur was working with his new knights. Gwaine and Percival lingered of f to the side drinking from the water bucket, covered in sweat. It was already hot, and it was only late morning. Arthur glanced over , spotting them, and ran over to kiss his son’ s chubby cheek. “Y ou want to watch?” he asked, and Gavin nodded emphatically . “One day you will join us, my boy .” “That is a long time away ,” Hunith chided Arthur with a wink. “Yes, of course,” he chuckled then kissed Gavin again before jogging back to his men. Hunith moved to a bench and sat down putting Gavin on his feet while keeping her arm around him so he would not run out onto the field and get in the way . She watched as Arthur fought three knights at once and as usual, he defeated each of them with strength and stamina. She smiled as she remembered Merlin telling her how he and Arthur met. Her boys…all three of them, she thought as she kissed the top of Gavin’ s head. She lost Merlin, but she loved Arthur and Gavin as her own, feeling as proud of them as any mother would. As Ygraine would. A second group of knights, this time four , surrounded Arthur . She noted that one of them wore leather armor which she thought was odd. Arthur did not seem concerned about it as he began to spar with the four men. Hunith caught a glimpse, a flash of metal that was out of place. Before she could react the man with the leather rushed forward slicing at Arthur ’s throat with a dagger only to hit an invisible force his eyes widening in surprise for a split second before Arthur ran him through with his sword. He turned to look at his son, breathing hard and shaking. Gavin was standing with one arm raised and his eyes shimmering gold. Hunith looked from him to Arthur in shock. Neither of them said anything not wanting to draw attention to the boy. She had suspected for a while now that Gavin had magic…now there could be no doubt. He just saved his father ’s life without uttering a word of a spell. “That’ s enough,” Arthur growled at his men, “Get this rubbish of f the field.” He walked over to Gavin picking him up in his arms. “Gavin, you did that?” The boy nodded. “Couldn’ t let that bad man hurt you,” he said then his face fell, “Am I in trouble?” “No, no, my boy ,” Arthur kissed his forehead, “Y ou’re not in trouble, love.” He looked at Hunith questioningly then they walked back to the castle together . “I guess now we know .” “Yes,” she said, “Are you all right?” “Yes, thanks to my son.” “I was referring to what he did. Are you all right with the magic?” Arthur shook his head, “I am not scared of it, if that is what you’re asking. How did you feel when you realized Merlin had magic at such an early age?” Hunith laughed, “Merlin was much younger when I first saw his magic.” “Really?” Arthur asked. “Yes, the first time his eyes turned gold I was so frightened I nearly dropped him. He was only a week old at the time.” “So, he was literally born with it,” Arthur shook his head, “And now my Gavin has magic. What I do not understand is how . Guinevere did not have magic and I definitely do not have it. I wish Gaius were here, could really use his help.” Gaius had passed on just a year earlier . Hunith had taken over as healer and caretaker for Gavin. Arthur would have been lost without her in their lives since Guinevere died. “Who else can I go to?” “Maybe reach out to the Druids, they may know . Or Kilgharrah…” Arthur nodded, “If anyone would know the answer it would be the dragon.” It had become a regular occurrence for Arthur to go to the clearing and call to him. He would come and they would talk about Merlin and how much they missed him. Kilgharrah had explained the prophecies and his and Merlin’ s parts in them. He still did not know the lasting ef fects of Merlin’ s death. The Gods, or Fates, or whoever had not seen fit to reveal what lay ahead for them all. “I will go to him before nightfall.” “I want to go,” Gavin said, “Please, father .” “All right,” Arthur smiled, “I will take you, but only if you do what Hunith says and eat your lunch and take a nap.” “All right,” he grinned. “I should come along too,” Hunith said, “That way I can bring Gavin home when he gets too tired out. I know you will want to stay longer .” “You’re so good to us,” Arthur smiled then kissed her cheek. “I have to take care of my boys,” she winked then took Gavin from his father , “All right, food then nap, then we will go see the dragon.” Arthur stood there watching his giggling son and the woman who gave up everything to take care of them. He now knew exactly where Merlin inherited his deep compassion and his intelligence. Hunith reminded him so much of her son in the little facial expressions and the way she could look at him and know exactly what he was thinking. Arthur could not have survived the last three years without her support, her steadfast courage, and strength. Having her there was the next best thing to having Merlin himself. “Arthur ,” Leon said as he came toward him, “What happened back there on the training field?” “That new knight…Magne…he attacked me with a dagger . I killed him.” “I’m talking about the magic, Sire,” the taller man said. “Yes, that,” Arthur said as he turned and started walking up the steps. “Arthur?” Letting out a breath, Arthur glanced around and then moved closer to Leon. “It was Gavin.” Leon’ s eyes went wide, “Gavin has magic? How?” “I have no idea, but I need to find out. I will be going to the clearing before sunset with Gavin and Hunith,” he said, “I need to speak with Kilgharrah.” “I should come with you, or Gwaine,” he said. “We will be fine, but thank you, Leon.” “Magne was a traitor . We searched his quarters and found evidence that he was working for someone, but we do not know yet who it was.” “Could be anyone,” Arthur shook his head and continued walking up the stairs to the next floor . He turned the corner and headed for the council chambers. “There are many who are resisting the uniting of the five kingdoms under my rule.” “But the kings and queens have all sworn their allegiance and agreed to the terms.” “True, but there are others who are not so accepting of their decision. Many lords feel entitled to their kingdom’ s wealth and power which will now fall under Camelot’ s control and protection. In doing so it limits their ability to become wealthier of f the backs of the citizens. Keeps them from abusing their titles.” Leon smiled, “If your father could see what you have accomplished, Arthur…” “He would still find fault in it, as he always did. I no longer care about my father ’s approval or acceptance. He was wrong in all his decisions. W rong for his hate and bigotry and the genocide of hundreds…if not thousands of innocent people with and without magic.” “Well, for what it is worth, I am proud of you, Arthur ,” Leon said, “Y ou are a far better man and king than Uther ever was.” “And I owe it all to Merlin,” Arthur said softly , “Without him…Camelot would not be standing, and I would not be king.” “That may be true, but it was you that Merlin fought for , not the kingdom. It was his belief… his love that made him choose to fight by your side.” Arthur nodded and let out a breath, “I still miss him, and I miss my beautiful Guinevere.” “I know you do,” Leon said, “At least you have Gavin.” “Yes, and Gavin has magic,” Arthur huf fed a laugh. “Should make life interesting.” “To say the least.” “It is good you have Hunith to help. The voice of experience when it comes to magic.” “I am eternally grateful for her . I would be lost without Hunith’ s guidance and support.” “Like her son,” Leon said knowingly , and Arthur smiled. “I must go now , Gwaine is speaking to people trying to find out if anyone knows where Magne came from.” “Keep me informed,” Arthur said and watched as Leon walked down the corridor . He reached the door of the council chambers and went inside to find Percival studying a map. “Arthur ,” he said, “I was just looking over the finished map of the newly united kingdoms. It is amazingly well done and detailed.” “You always did love your maps,” Arthur grinned. “When you have traveled as much as I, maps are interesting.” “I never imagined I would one day be the ruler over all five kingdoms as one.” “After you defeated Mor gana, they felt you were the leader they all needed.” “I did not do it alone,” Arthur shook his head and sat down at the head of the table. “No, but it was you who inspired every man, woman, and child to fight for freedom. It was your love for your people that drove you, unlike some kings who only cared about themselves and no one else.” “It was my knights, my army , my queen, and…” Arthur ’s voice trailed of f. “Merlin,” Percival said. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “If not for him I could have easily turned into one of those kings. He and Guinevere taught me so much about compassion and strength…putting others first no matter what their station. They showed me that a person’ s title or position in life does not determine their worth, as did Gwaine. Lancelot taught me to stand for what I believed in… for what was right and good. Y ou, Percival, showed me that strength and bravery were not enough and that I needed to be open-minded and listen to people. Gaius’ skills as a physician, Leon’ s loyalty , and Elyan’ s determination…all of you have made me the king I am.” Percival smiled, “And none of us would be here if not for Merlin.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “Y es, you are right. Sometimes I think Gwaine and Lancelot were more loyal to Merlin than to me.” “Gwaine told me some of what you two witnessed in the Crystal Cave,” Percival said as he took a seat to Arthur ’s right. “Merlin should have a statue erected in the square in his honor .” Arthur grinned, “Merlin would hate it. All he did, he did not want rewards or to be celebrated…just to be accepted for who he was…to be free.” “Free to use his magic,” Percival nodded. “Every time I think about the danger he faced every single day he lived in Camelot. All the hangings, beheadings, the pyres in the courtyard…all those people, they could have been him at any given moment and I would have been powerless to stop it while my father lived.” “You would have found a way . You would never have let Merlin die like that.” “No, instead he sacrificed himself for me.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom.” “His dream of being free…it is not fair that he died never knowing freedom. He lived his entire life in fear of persecution, slavery , and death. He deserved that chance.” “Yes, he did,” Percival nodded, “But you were more important to him than his freedom…his life. He proved that over and over again. Do you think there is a chance that one day he will return?” “I do not know . He didn’ t know either . The prophecies said I would die, and he would live on.” “His magic made him immortal.” “He told me that his magic will never totally be gone because it is a part of him, part of his soul.” “Then perhaps once his magic is at full strength, he will be able to return. He will be immortal again,” Percival said. “I am not sure that is how it works. He no longer has a body anyway; it was burned by Kilgharrah on A valon. Even if he could return, his soul would have nowhere to go.” Percival nodded, “W e all miss him. He was like a brother to all of us.” Arthur ran a hand through his hair , “He was everything to me.” “I know , Arthur . I may not have been here in the beginning, but I saw enough to know that you loved him as much as he loved you. Even if you could not show it.” Clearing his throat awkwardly , Arthur leaned forward pulling the map closer , “Let’ s have a look at this map.” Percival smiled, “Y es, Sire.” “It’s a beautiful evening,” Hunith said inhaling the fresh air as she rode the dark gray mare next to Arthur on his white stallion Apollo with Gavin in front of him. “Yes, it is,” Arthur smiled. Gavin looked up at him and grinned, “Going to see Killy!” Arthur laughed, “Y es, we are. Though I’m not sure you should call him that.” “He likes me,” Gavin said. “Yes, he does. He said you were special. I guess now we know what he meant.” “Like Merlin,” the boy grinned. “Just like Merlin,” Arthur wrapped his arm around Gavin pulling him closer , kissing the top of his beautiful son’ s dark blonde head. “Y our mother would be so proud of you, little one… so brave and smart.” “Like his father ,” Hunith smiled, and Arthur laughed. Reaching their destination, Arthur dismounted and put Gavin down on the ground watching as the boy ran to the center of the clearing, looking up into the sky . He then turned to help Hunith down and tethered the horses to a tree while she went to join Gavin. He looked around, taking in their surroundings. He reached for his sword as a sudden feeling of unease washed over him. Shaking his head, he drew the sword and called to Kilgharrah and waited. “Arthur ,” Hunith turned to look back at him, her eyes wide as she seemed to be sensing something as well. Arthur took two steps toward Gavin. He heard a sound behind him and spun around as a heavy fog came out of nowhere, enveloping them making it impossible to see anything. He heard the sound of men rushing toward them, obscured by the fog, and ran to where he knew that Hunith and Gavin had been standing. They were gone. “Gavin! Hunith!” he yelled, “Where are you?” “Arthur!” he heard Hunith cry out and turned heading toward the sound of her voice. “No, get away from him!” Hunith screamed. “Leave him alone!” “Hunith!” Arthur caught a glimpse of five men dressed in leather and chain mail moving through the fog, wielding swords, and maces. They had not seen him, and he moved silently his heart pounding in his chest as he forced himself to focus. He looked up at the sky hoping to see the dragon and nearly tripped over Hunith who was on the ground a deep gash on her forehead. “Arthur ,” she gasped, tears streaming down her face as she grabbed his tunic, “I tried to stop them…they have Gavin!” “Hunith, take this,” Arthur said handing her the dagger from his boot. “Can you walk?” he asked. “I think so,” she nodded, and he helped her up leading her over to a stand of trees. “Stay here, I have to go after them,” he said, “Which way did they take him?” “That way ,” Hunith motioned to her left, “Arthur…” The sound of heavy wings somewhere above made them both look up and Kilgharrah swooped down letting loose a hot breath that cleared the fog around them then he landed. “Kilgharrah, they have my son!” Arthur said, “I need your help.” The dragon launched into the air once again and circled overhead burning of f the fog until they could see the area. Arthur spotted two men and rushed them killing one. The other he shoved up against a tree the blade of his sword pressing against the man’ s throat. “Where’ s my son?” he roared. “Where you will never find him,” the man grinned, his dark eyes cold. “Tell me now!” Arthur growled his blade drawing blood. “Never!” Arthur stepped back and drove his sword through the man killing him instantly . Looking up he saw Kilgharrah burn a trail taking out three more men. “They are heading east,” Kilgharrah said then headed in that direction with Arthur following on the ground. He ran down an incline and through a ravine stopping as he heard Gavin crying in the distance. “Gavin!” Arthur called out and started running toward the sound of his son’ s voice. He scrambled over a rise and ran through a brook following tracks in the mud. He reached a ridge and looked down spotting a group of twelve men mounting horses one of them struggling to hold on to a squirming and kicking Gavin who was fighting with everything he had. “Gavin! Release him now!” Arthur shouted half running half sliding down the steep slope. “Let me go!” Gavin screamed, then bit the man holding him, on his upper arm. The man roared and slapped him hard and Gavin went limp. “No!” Arthur yelled, jumping over a fallen tree. Kilgharrah swooped down the men scattered firing crossbows at him to no ef fect. “Give me back my son!” he locked swords with three men who rushed him, he fought them of f killing two and wounding the third. When he looked around the man holding Gavin was nowhere in sight and Kilgharrah was laying down a trail of flames through the woods. “Gavin!” Arthur yelled his heart crushed in a vise of panic and desperation as he turned in a complete circle running a hand through his hair. Smoke from the fires and the still lingering fog made it impossible to see anything especially with the sun going down. Kilgharrah landed near Arthur . “I am sorry , Great King,” he said, “I lost sight of them when they split up in the woods. I could have burned everything, but I was afraid I would harm the boy.” “They took him…they took my son,” Arthur said fighting tears. He could not think, his hands were shaking. “Kilgharrah, I need you to go to Camelot and get help, please. I will go back and check on Hunith at the clearing. T ell my men to meet us there as soon as possible.” “I will go,” the dragon said then leaped into the air flying for Camelot. Arthur pulled himself together and somehow made his way back to the clearing. He found Hunith sitting by a fire hugging herself, rocking back and forth with tears streaming down her face. She looked up as Arthur approached her , eyes going wide and full of hope that vanished when she did not see Gavin. “I am so sorry ,” she choked shaking her head, “I tried to hold on to Gavin, but they hit me.” Arthur crouched next to her , cupping her cheek, “It was not your fault. There’ s nothing you could have done. I chased them, I saw him, but they got away…I—I sent Kilgharrah for help. Did you hear or see anything that could help us find him?” Hunith thought for a moment then nodded, “I heard someone mention King Alined.” “Alined? Why would he take Gavin? Those men were not wearing Deorham colors.” “I also heard the name Amren,” she said, and Arthur nodded. “Alined’ s son, Prince Amren…that makes more sense. He is the sole heir to the throne of Deorham and railed against the uniting of the kingdoms under my rule. He was to inherit the throne when Alined dies and was not pleased that his father signed the agreement that essentially gave away his birthright.” “But he will still be king, just under Camelot rule…your rule,” Hunith said. “Yes, but he will not have the power his father had during his reign. I should have known he would retaliate. Dammit.” “He won’ t hurt Gavin, will he?” Hunith asked tears shining in her eyes. Arthur shook his head, “I do not know . The man holding Gavin slapped him to make him stop fighting him. He stopped moving.” “Dear Gods,” she gasped, “Oh, Arthur , I’m so sorry .” “Hunith, stop blaming yourself,” Arthur said, “If anyone is to blame it is me for coming here without protection.” “How did they even know you would be here?” “Obviously , there was someone else other than Magne in Camelot. They must have overheard us talking. The knights will be here soon. W e will get him back.” “What caused that fog?” Hunith asked. “Magic, I have seen it before. Only that time it was Merlin trying to help the Druids.” “They have magic…” “It seems so.” “What are you going to do?” “I’m going to find my son, and God help anyone who gets in my way ,” Arthur said, his eyes fierce and dark. The Calling Merlin felt it, the call of his magic…not from within but coming from the other side. Reaching, pulling, dragging him toward the edge of the lake. He ran through the woods, the sun’s rays filtering down through the branches. W ithout slowing his pace, he dove into the water swimming hard and fast until he saw the bright blinding light beneath the surface. He headed right for it and busted through the center exploding to the surface. His lungs burned his body suddenly felt heavy and awkward. He stumbled from the water collapsing to his knees on the shore digging his long fingers into the sand. Sucking in air , he looked up at the dark sky at the bright stars shining through gaps in a heavy fog that felt unnatural. He tried to stand, but his legs did not want to work. He let out a groan rolling onto his back. He was cold, trembling, and weak…he was alive. Alive and naked. “Ow,” he moaned pressing his hand to his forehead. The magic was even stronger now , calling to him. He inhaled deeply trying to focus. He felt his magic sur ge within him in answer to the call. Whatever it was, it was bad…really bad. He needed to get up and move. Being slammed back into this body , his own body , he would have to figure out later how that was even possible when his body was burned to ash by dragon fire over three years prior . Merlin crawled up the shore and then stood on legs as wobbly as a newborn colt. His eyes flashed bright gold, focusing everything on finding his equilibrium and strengthening this new body . Running a hand through his dark hair he looked around. Please, help me… Hearing the words so clearly startled him. It sounded like a small child. He reached out with his magic, eyes burning gold as he sent his vision out into the woods over hills and through ravines, along a brook searching for the source. He found it in a camp hidden deep in a gully . Surrounded by fifteen men with three campfires, a small child sat huddled in a blanket his hands and feet tied. I hear you, little one. Merlin waited and listened for a response. Who was this child and why did his magic feel so familiar , like a part of his own? Merlin… How do you know my name? My father… Your father…what is your name? Gavin…Prince Gavin Pendragon… Merlin’ s knees nearly gave out again as the realization hit him. Gavin…Arthur and Gwen’ s son and he had magic…Merlin’ s magic. He was in trouble. I’m coming for you, Gavin. Do not give up. Hurry , Merlin… Keep talking to me, little one. I’m her e. Don’ t be scar ed. I want to go home…want my father… I will get you back to him, I pr omise. Merlin ran through the woods until he came to a village where people were settling in for the night. He skirted the edge until he found a house with nearly dry laundry hanging on a rack. He grabbed a worn brown tunic and a dark gray cloak with a hood, and brown trousers. He dressed quickly and then called a pair of boots to him from inside the house whispering a word to make them fit him. He then uttered an apology and a few words of magic to warm their hearth and stack their firewood. It was all he could do for now , he had to get to Gavin. The village didn’ t have any horses, so he focused on Gavin and started to run. He considered calling Kilgharrah, but from what he could tell the area was heavily wooded and the dragon would not be able to land nearby . He wasn’ t even sure if his Dragonlord powers would still work since he died and he had no son to pass them down to. Gavin, ar e you still with me? I’m her e…the man with strange eyes made me want to sleep. Someone with magic… Merlin… It’s all right, you r est. I will be ther e soon. I won’ t let anyone hurt you. Okay… Merlin clambered up a hillside, his eyes shining in the darkness helping him find his way . He was finally feeling at home in his own body again, his long legs strong and sure, his balance and focus returning. He couldn’ t help smiling it felt so good to be alive again and at the moment he wasn’ t about to question such a gift. W as this permanent or would he be forced to return to A valon? Taking every shortcut that he could remember , Merlin finally reached the camp. The men were sleeping except for two positioned at each end of the gully to watch for any sign of trouble. He lifted the hood of the cloak and lowered his head before walking boldly into the center of the camp. The guards jumped up drawing their swords. “Declare yourself,” one of them said. Merlin saw Gavin sleeping up against the tree wrapped in a heavy blanket. He smiled and then turned to the guards. “Forgive my intrusion, I am a Druid, separated from my people,” Merlin said. “Be on your way then,” the taller of the guards growled. “I will, but first, may I warm myself by your fire?” “You may not!” Merlin shook his head and then lowered his hood. The guards rushed him, but he raised one hand and shouted a word. They hit a wall of magic and froze, their eyes wide with fear . Merlin felt movement behind him and turned as their sorcerer threw a spell at him. Almost as soon as the spell was cast the man froze as he recognized Merlin. “I know you! Merlin, isn’ t it…” “Alvarr ,” Merlin smirked. “You…you have magic!” “I was born with it.” “Are you him…are you Emrys?” Merlin shrugged, “Might be.” “What do you want? There is nothing here for you.” “Oh, you see there is. Y ou and your men kidnapped someone very important to me.” Alvarr looked over at the sleeping child. “It is not of my doing. Their orders came from someone in Deorham…from King Alined’ s court.” “Working for a warmonger king who prospers of f the backs of dead soldiers?” Merlin glanced around, “Casting sleeping spells on a frightened little boy . You should be ashamed of yourself.” “You have no right to judge me…you protected the Pendragons,” Alvarr hissed closing the distance between them, “If you are truly the great Emrys why do you care about one young prince?” “Because I was born to serve the Once and Future King and you have taken his son. I cannot allow you to get away with that. I just spent the last three years in A valon, I am stronger now than I ever was before. If you want to live you will walk away and let me take him home to Camelot.” “Even if I do, they will not allow you to do that,” Alvarr smiled smugly nodding to the now wide-awake mercenaries surrounding Merlin. “They will be more than happy to send you back to A valon.” Merlin’ s smile grew , “I’d like to see them try .” Alvarr ’s eyes flashed, and Merlin uttered a word throwing his arms out to the side. Every man in the camp except Alvarr dropped dead where they stood causing the latter ’s face to turn a few shades paler as he realized the truth. “Emrys,” Alvarr said, “Please, do not harm me. W e are the same…” Merlin shook his head, “No, I am nothing like you. T o take an innocent child from his father . Using Mor gana all those years ago the way you did. Corrupting Mordred. I should kill you, but I am going to do something far worse and allow you to live, only without the one thing that makes you the monster you are. Y our magic. “No, please!” Alvarr shouted bringing his arms up. Merlin raised a hand and shouted a spell his eyes turning silver . Alvarr fell to the ground as his magic was ripped from his chest, shot into the air , and scattered like falling stars over the land as he cried and begged. When Merlin finished, he released him. “There now you will know what it is like to be powerless and frightened,” Merlin said coldly , “Get up, run away…now!” Alvarr scrambled to his feet and ran into the woods without another word or even a glance back. Merlin then turned and gathered Gavin up in his arms uttering a spell to wake him. The boy looked so much like Arthur it brought tears to his eyes. He smiled, gently caressing his cheek as his eyes fluttered open. “Merlin?” he asked. “Yes,” Merlin nodded, “Are you hurt?” “You really came for me,” Gavin said. “Of course,” Merlin grinned, “Y ou have magic.” “Like you,” the boy said, “My father…told me you were gone.” “I was, but I’m not anymore. What do you say we get you back to him?” “He’ s far away ,” Gavin said his eyes welling up with tears. “We will find him…I found you, didn’ t I?” Merlin grinned, hugging him close and the boy wrapped his arms around his neck. “Hunith tried to stop the bad men from taking me. They hit her ,” Gavin choked, his little body trembling. Merlin’ s eyes widened, “My mother was with you and Arthur?” “She takes care of me,” Gavin nodded, “W e were going to see Killy ‘cause I can do things.” “Killy?” Merlin asked with a grin. The thought of Kilgharrah allowing Gavin to call him that was quite amusing. “W ell, don’ t you worry , my mum is a tough woman. I am certain she is fine.” “She tells me stories about you,” Gavin smiled through his tears. Merlin laughed as he sat the boy down by the fire to warm his hands and check him over for injuries finding only a few cuts and bruises, “I’m sure she does.” He whispered a word and the ropes fell away from his wrists and ankles. “There, you’re free now .” “You’re really not gone anymore?” “I’m here, Gavin. I do not know how , but your magic and mine are the same. It called me home.” “I’m glad…father misses you.” “And I missed him so much.” “Can you stay with us now?” Merlin had no idea whether he would be able to or not. W as this temporary or was he back for good? W as he immortal again? It was obvious that his magic was much stronger than before. “I’m not sure it is up to me, but I want to.” “Please stay…” Gavin said softly . “Come on, let’ s get you back to Arthur .” Gavin wrapped his arms around Merlin as he picked the exhausted boy up resting him on his hip. Reaching out with his magic he felt Arthur and smiled. “He’ s not far , he’s looking for you,” he said, and Gavin buried his face in the crook of Merlin’ s neck. “Sleep little one, you’re safe now .” He smiled and then headed west, his magic guiding them through the woods. Arthur was barely able to focus, stumbling over the rough ground holding onto the reins of his horse. His vision blurred and he had not eaten anything. Once his men had arrived at the clearing, he sent Hunith back with Leon. Gwaine and Percival were fanned out on either side of him. They had been searching in the darkness all night using torches carried by his soldiers to light the way . The magical fog lingered, and Kilgharrah flew overhead searching the countryside, but even he was exhausted, so Arthur sent him away . The dragon had reluctantly left, clearly worried about Gavin. It was so strange to think about a magical creature being such an important part of their lives now . His father would definitely have something to say about that. “Arthur ,” Gwaine said handing him a waterskin and a hunk of dried meat, “Y ou look like you are going to drop any minute. Y ou need to rest and eat, drink some water .” “Cannot rest until I find my son,” Arthur shook his head. “Gwaine’ s right,” Percival said as he approached, “Y ou’re not going to be able to fight if you can’t even stand up.” “He’ s alone and cold…surrounded by strangers,” Arthur said then forced himself to take a drink of water and a bite of the meat, “I can’ t stop.” He handed the waterskin back to Gwaine and started walking forward again. Gwaine and Percival looked at each other both feeling helpless. Their king…their friend was hurting and lost. He would push himself to his limits to get Gavin back. And what if the worst happened? Arthur had already lost Merlin and Gwen…to lose Gavin would kill him. Arthur crouched down looking at a track in the torchlight. The men who took Gavin had split into three groups and they had no idea which of the three had him. For all he knew they could be following the wrong tracks and Gavin could be miles in the opposite direction. “Gavin,” Arthur choked, dropping to his knees, and lowered his head. “What is that?” Gwaine asked and Arthur looked up turning to see where he was looking. The fog seemed to be alive, swirling and dancing through the trees like spirits, ghosts of the dead, silent and eerie. A bluish-white glow illuminated the trees, pushing back the fog. Arthur ’s heart stuttered, that light… He got to his feet as a hooded figure emer ged from the woods, wrapped in a heavy gray cloak. Percival and Gwaine drew their swords, but Arthur waved a hand. “Stand down,” the king said as he walked toward the figure. “My Lord,” Percival said. “They mean us no harm.” “How can you be so sure?” Gwaine asked. “Call it a funny feeling,” Arthur said then sheathed his own sword. He watched as the figure stopped walking. He drew back his cloak revealing a sleepy but very much alive Gavin. “Oh, my God, Gavin!” The figure put Gavin down on the ground as Arthur dropped to his knees. “Father!” Gavin yelled and ran toward him. “Thank the Gods,” Arthur dropped to his knees gathering him into his embrace holding him kissing his cheek and forehead, stroking his hair checking him over for injuries. “My boy ,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Don’ t cry, father ,” Gavin said, hugging his neck. “I’m so sorry ,” Arthur said holding him tightly . He looked up at the hooded figure who was still standing a few yards away . “Thank you, whoever you are…for bringing my boy back. How will I ever repay you? Y ou shall receive a reward, anything you want…name it…land, gold, anything.” “I’d settle for my old job back,” the figure said then slowly lowered his hood. “Holy…” Gwaine said, his mouth dropping open in shock. Arthur stared at the man before him, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Merlin?” Merlin gave him a wide grin, “Hello, Arthur…” “Merlin…you’re alive!” Arthur scrambled to his feet bringing Gavin with him. “My God, you’re back! How?” he asked shaking his head as he closed the distance between them. “I’m not exactly sure, but it was Gavin. His magic…I do not know how , but it is part of my own. It…he called to me, brought me back and I was able to find him. The men who took him are all dead except Alvarr . I let him live, but without his magic. Personal experience taught me that is a fate worse than death.” Arthur shook his head, “As glad as I am to hear that, right now I just want to look at you.” Merlin chuckled, “Are you saying you’re glad to see me?” “Gods, yes,” Arthur grinned, “W elcome home, Merlin.” He put his arm around Merlin’ s neck and kissed his temple as they walked back toward Gwaine and Percival who were grinning from ear to ear . “Boys, we have Gavin, and we have Merlin back.” “Merlin!” Gwaine said and he stepped forward embracing him tightly , cupping the back of his head, “It is so damn good to see you, my friend.” “You too, Gwaine,” Merlin grinned then turned to Percival who wrapped him in a bear hug that made it dif ficult to breathe. “Merlin, we missed you,” he said as he drew back finally releasing him. “It is good to have you back, brother .” “It’s good to be back.” Arthur looked at Gavin smiling and kissed his cheek. “Set up camp for the night,” he told the men and they hurried to do as he ordered. Merlin reached out to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “He looks like you,” he grinned. “I know , poor child,” Arthur smirked. “Are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am now , thanks to you. I will never be able to repay all you have done for me, Merlin.” “Then it’ s a good thing you don’ t have to.” “I’m hungry ,” Gavin said tucking his face into Arthur ’s neck. “Then let’ s get you something to eat.” Arthur tucked Gavin into his bedroll wrapping him up warmly and kissing the top of his head. Merlin sat by the fire watching with a crooked grin. “What?” Arthur asked. “Nothing, just you’re pretty good at that.” Arthur sat down next to Merlin, “Y es, well, considering who my father was it is a miracle.” “You were always better than your father ,” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him intently and shook his head, “I can’ t believe you’re here.” “Neither can I. One minute I was in A valon the next I was back…naked on the shore and completely disoriented and weak. I don’ t know how I am even me…my body .” “How do you feel now?” Arthur asked. Merlin smiled, “Happy .” “What was it like…A valon?” “Beautiful, peaceful, surreal…lonely…” Merlin frowned. “You were all alone?” “I chose to be,” he said. “Why would you?” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin…” “I guess I just felt like I didn’ t belong in the next world any more than I belonged in this one.” “Merlin, that’ s not true…” Merlin looked into Arthur ’s eyes and smiled, “It really is. Y ou saw the truth in the Crystal Cave. Y ou know what I have done…the people I hurt and killed. I am sorry for lying to you all those years. I wanted to tell you so much. Y ou were the one person I wanted to see me for who I truly was and to accept me fully .” “I see you now , and I do accept you. Gods, Merlin, I am so damn happy to have you back,” Arthur smiled. “And you brought my son back to me.” “Did you really kiss me?” Merlin asked with a raised eyebrow , “Percival told me that after I died you kissed me.” Arthur blushed and nodded, “I did.” “Sorry I missed it,” Merlin huf fed a laugh. “Really?” “Only time I ever got a real hug from you was when I was under Mor gana’ s control and cannot even remember it. Then you wait until I am dead to kiss me,” he grinned. “I never knew you wanted…” “Yes, well, you were always a bit thick,” Merlin chuckled. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “It’s all right, I always knew you loved Gwen, and she loved you. All that mattered to me was that you were happy and safe and that you would be the king that Camelot needed.” “Yes, but you needed me too and I wasn’ t there for you.” Merlin shook his head slowly , “It doesn’ t matter now .” “It really does,” Arthur said, “Everything you did for me…it was not out of duty or for some prophecy , it was out of love. Y ou sacrificed yourself for me.” “And I would do it all over again.” “I know you would and before you go and do something so foolish again, I want you to know that I love you…I love you, Merlin.” Merlin’ s head shot up as he met Arthur ’s gaze. His lips parted wordlessly , and Arthur laughed. “Speechless, are you?” he asked. “Arthur…” “I should have told you before, but I was an idiot and scared. I meant what I said in the Crystal Cave. Y ou are the other half of my soul; you always were, and you always will be.” Merlin smiled, “T wo sides of the same coin…” Arthur reached up placing his hand on Merlin’ s face, his thumb brushing lightly over his cheekbone. “It’s time I do this properly ,” he said then leaned forward pressing his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender searching kiss. Merlin kissed him back a tear slipping from his eye. Arthur drew back brushing it away with his thumb. “Are you okay?” he asked, and Merlin nodded. “Just never thought…” he said with a hitch in his voice as he averted his gaze looking over at the others around another fire. “Arthur , I don’ t know if this is permanent…if I can even stay.” Arthur nodded, “Then I do not want to waste a single moment with you. Merlin, I want you to return with us to Camelot. Y ou can do or have anything you want. Y ou can take over as physician. Y our mother has been doing both Gaius’ job and taking care of Gavin. I would have been lost without her these last three years.” “Gaius,” Merlin said softly his eyes filled with sadness. “You did know…” “Yeah, I saw him when he passed over into A valon. He tried to talk me into going through with him, but I stayed where I was.” “Losing you, Gwen, and Gaius…it was a rough few years. And Geof frey too.” “Geof frey died?” Merlin asked. “Yes, shortly after Gaius. I still have not replaced him either .” “Arthur , I want to stay with you and Gavin,” Merlin said, “As long as I am able.” “You said Gavin’ s magic is like yours?” “It is.” “Makes sense,” Arthur nodded, “Gwen was already pregnant when you did what you did to destroy Mor gana. Y our magic was released. It healed me and Kilgharrah and brought Gwaine back from the dead. It is possible that it somehow reached Gwen and our unborn child.” “I did not know it would do that. I just knew that the spell was my only chance of saving you.” “You said Mor gana was with you?” “She was, she passed over into A valon as well. It took her a long time to come to terms with everything that happened. She was certain that she belonged in hell, but I told her that it was not her fault, that it was Mor gause. W e forgave each other and she moved on…she is with Mordred now .” Arthur nodded, “Mordred, he didn’ t deserve his fate either .” Merlin lowered his head, “If I had followed my heart and helped him and Mor gana…” “Merlin, enough now , what’ s done is done. I do not want to waste any more time dwelling on the past. I have my son, I have you and I am high king over all of Albion. All five kingdoms united under one rule, peace and prosperity , and freedom. None of it would be possible without you.” “All I did was keep your arse alive,” Merlin grinned. “You really want your old job back?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Yes, unless you already have a servant of course.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I haven’ t had a servant since you died. Other than the basic duties. Y ou always said I needed to learn to do things for myself. So, I did.” “Amazing,” Merlin laughed, “Y ou dress yourself and everything?” “I even do my own laundry .” “Oh, now I know you are lying,” Merlin chuckled. “Ok, I send my laundry out to be done,” Arthur shrugged, “But I get myself up in the morning. Of course, my speeches are not as good as the ones you wrote for me.” “If you no longer have need of a manservant perhaps, I could take over Gaius and Geof frey’ s jobs and begin to rebuild the collection of magic books now that you have lifted the ban.” “That would be good,” Arthur nodded, “Perhaps you could write your own books to hopefully begin to undo the damage my father did. So, people will understand that magic is not evil.” Merlin looked at his king with tears in his eyes, “I used to dream of the day that you would see the good in magic…to be free to use the gifts I was born with.” “You are free now , Merlin. I will give you anything you want, just ask.” “Right now , I think you should get some sleep,” Merlin smiled, “Y ou’re exhausted.” “I am, I guess I’m just afraid I’ll fall asleep and wake up and you will be gone.” “Sleep, Arthur , I promise I will be here when you wake.” “You should rest too.” “I have been resting for more than three years. I am enjoying the feeling of being alive again. I think I will go join the others for some food.” “You’ll come back,” Arthur said. “I will,” Merlin smiled and then started to get to his feet, but Arthur took hold of his wrist. “Merlin…I just want to do things right this time. I don’ t want to deny my feelings anymore. But I will not do anything unless it is what you want too. The last thing I want to do is hurt you again.” “Arthur , I want to be with you. It is all I have ever wanted.” Arthur drew him close and kissed Merlin again, “Good because now that I’ve kissed you…I don’t think I can stop.” “Mmm, I wholeheartedly consent,” Merlin grinned then kissed him back. “Now get some sleep, Sire. Physician’ s orders.” Arthur laughed and then laid down on his bedroll next to Gavin. Merlin waved a hand and covered him with a blanket. His eyes flashed and the fire grew warmer . He then got up and walked over to where Gwaine and Percival were sitting around the fire pretending they had not been watching them the entire time. “May I join you?” Merlin asked and Gwaine grinned. “Merlin, damn it is good to see you,” he said pulling him down to sit on the log next to him, “Are you all right?” “I’m good I think,” Merlin nodded, “Still trying to get my bearings. Nothing like having your soul yanked out of A valon and slammed back into a somehow reformed body to leave you feeling a bit disoriented and overwhelmed.” “I cannot even imagine…” Percival said shaking his head. “Is there any food left?” Merlin asked. “Lots…here you go,” Gwaine said and handed Merlin a plate of stew and some bread, “It is not as good as yours. I missed your cooking.” “How’ s Arthur?” Percival asked. “Exhausted, but relieved to have his son,” Merlin said. “How on earth did you find him?” Gwaine asked. “He called to me, his magic…Arthur thinks that what I did, my magic being released somehow it found its way to Gavin while Gwen was pregnant.” “That’ s possible,” Gwaine nodded, “It brought me back from the dead. Who knows what else it did? Thank you, by the way .” “You’re welcome,” Merlin grinned. “You and Arthur…” Percival said raising an eyebrow . “We’ll see…I am not even sure that this is permanent.” “Avalon is not getting you back without a fight,” Gwaine said his voice rough, “Not losing you again. Even if I have to of fer myself up to appease the Goddess.” “I’ll never let you do that for me. Gwaine, you should know , I met your father ,” Merlin smiled, “He said he is very proud of you.” “My father?” Gwaine asked, tears filling his eyes, “He knows…” Merlin nodded, “I told him all about you. I used my magic to let him see you.” “Thank you, Merlin, that means a lot.” “Apparently , he and my father knew each other when they were young boys.” “Really?” Gwaine asked, “Guess that explains why you and I got on so well from the moment we met. I felt a connection to you.” “Being in A valon many things became so clear ,” Merlin said. “What do you mean?” Percival asked. Merlin glanced over at Arthur , “I met Arthur ’s mother .” “What was she like?” Gwaine asked. “Beautiful, sweet, loving, she had me tell her everything about Arthur and she told me the truth about Uther and what he did. She was happy and relieved to know that he was safe and happy .” “Did you tell Arthur?” Percival asked. “Not yet,” Merlin shook his head, “I will though. He is exhausted, I want him to rest. I am going to take over Gaius’ position as physician and Geof frey’ s position as librarian.” “Arthur never even bothered to replace you,” Gwaine said, “No one measured up. Though I think it had more to do with grief and loneliness than anything else. He really struggled after losing you, Merlin. It changed him. Then he lost Gwen and if it had not been for Gavin…” “I did not think my death would af fect him like that. What is the life of a servant compared to that of a king? W e were friends but I thought he would be all right in time.” Percival and Gwaine looked at each other knowingly . “Merlin, anyone who spent any time at all around you and Arthur knew that there was some deeper bond. Y ou were far more to him than a servant or even friend,” Percival said. “Arthur told me things after your death,” Gwaine said, “Things I will not repeat because it is not my place to do so. Merlin, you have this second chance you need to talk to him…really talk. Get him to tell you himself. And by the Gods, do not let anything or anyone come between you again.” “Yes,” Merlin nodded, “I just wish I knew what all of this means. If I am back permanently or if I was released from A valon just to help Gavin.” “There is someone who might be able to tell you,” Gwaine said then looked up to the sky . “If my Dragonlord gift still works. When my father died it passed to me. When I died, I had no son for it to go to.” “Only one way to find out,” Percival smiled. “If not, then Arthur can call him,” Gwaine said. “Arthur?” Merlin asked eyebrows lifting. “Through his sword, he can call Kilgharrah,” Percival nodded. “Yeah, he and old Killy have a bond and Gavin just loves the giant lizard. Kilgharrah helped in the search until he was ready to drop from the sky . Arthur sent him away to rest. The dragon missed you too, Merlin,” Gwaine said. “I will call him in the morning, before we leave for Camelot,” Merlin said, “I should also check on Aithusa. God knows where she is now , what happened to her after Camlann.” “Aithusa?” Percival asked. “The white dragon…the egg I rescued from the T omb of Ashkanar and hatched,” Merlin grinned. “So that’ s where Mor gana got the dragon,” the lar ger man said. “Yes, I was so focused on protecting Arthur that I abandoned her and Mor gana…” Merlin said, his voice trailing of f and he let out a rough breath. “I made so many mistakes.” “And you did so much good as well, Merlin. Always remember that,” Gwaine embraced him then drew back, patting his cheek. “This is a new beginning, my friend. Let go of the past and live now or you will miss out on so much. When you brought me back from the dead, I was so damn grateful for a fresh start. A chance to do better , and I think I have.” Percival nodded then chuckled, “Still drinks too much though.” “That doesn’ t surprise me,” Merlin laughed. “We can’ t all be perfect,” Gwaine laughed heartily then he looked into Merlin’ s eyes, his mirth fading, “It is really good to have you back, Merlin. How do you feel…I mean do you feel like you?” Merlin shook his head, “It is hard to explain. I mean, this body is mine, but all the scars are gone. Is it strange that I miss them?” “Not strange at all,” Percival said, “Y ou earned every one of them. They told your story .” “I don’ t even know if I am still immortal. My magic is more powerful.” “Well, I think it is safe to say you are still human,” Gwaine said, “Y ou can still be hurt, Merlin. So, maybe this time, you will be a little more careful and not take so many risks.” Merlin smiled, “Let’ s hope I won’ t have reason to this time around.” “What do you think Arthur will do to Alined…his son?” Percival asked. “Unless we can find absolute proof that they were involved in Gavin’ s kidnapping there is little he can do. He cannot accuse them without it, or we will have a war on our hands,” Gwaine said. “I let Alvarr go, he might have provided proof,” Merlin frowned. “Not likely ,” Percival shook his head, “The traitor Magne, he is our only link and he’ s dead.” “There has to be someone else, someone who knew Arthur planned to visit Kilgharrah and that Gavin would be with him,” Gwaine said. “Then we need to find out who it was,” Merlin said. “Tomorrow…right now , we need sleep,” Percival smiled then reached out to squeeze Merlin’ s shoulder . “W elcome home, Merlin.” He got up and moved over to his bedroll flopped down on it and let out a sigh closing his eyes. “You should sleep too, Gwaine,” Merlin said. “Aren’ t you tired? “A little, I guess.” “Are you sure you’re okay?” “Yeah, it’ s just a lot…” “Here’ s a bedroll for you, go get some rest. W e have a long ride back to Camelot tomorrow and you are going to cause quite a stir when we get there.” “The people probably won’ t even remember me,” Merlin said accepting the spare bedroll. “Wait and see,” Gwaine winked then laid down on his own bedroll, “Good night, Merlin.” “Good night, Gwaine,” Merlin hesitated for a moment then got up walking back over to where Arthur and Gavin were sleeping. He laid out his bedroll then sat down by the fire and added more wood. He glanced over at Arthur and smiled as he saw Gavin curled up in his father ’s arms, both sleeping soundly . With a whispered word he adjusted the blanket over them, and Arthur stirred, his eyes fluttering open. “Gavin,” he whispered reassuring himself that his son was still there. He then looked at Merlin with a smile, “Merlin…” “Go back to sleep, Arthur . I am not going anywhere,” Merlin grinned. “Sorry , I didn’ t mean to wake you.” “Are you all right?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Y ou all keep asking me that. I’m good…really .” “Come here, Merlin,” Arthur said rolling onto his back, holding his hand out. “Arthur?” “Come here, please,” Arthur reached over and pulled Merlin’ s bedroll closer , “Lay down.” “Yes, Y our Majesty ,” Merlin grinned and sat down taking of f his boots and cloak then Arthur tugged his sleeve sliding an arm around his shoulder and drawing him close, covering him with part of the blanket. “Just let me hold you,” Arthur said softly . Merlin did not ar gue he let out a breath and shifted onto his side resting his head on Arthur ’s shoulder . He smiled and Arthur ran his fingers through his hair . “There, much better .” “You sure this is a good idea,” Merlin grinned. “Yes, Merlin. Now go to sleep.” Merlin closed his eyes, listening to the beating of Arthur ’s heart. He felt the warmth of his breath and wondered for a moment if they could really be like this from now on. Could they really be together the way he always wanted, but never thought possible? “You’re thinking, Merlin,” Arthur said sleepily . “Sorry…” “Everything will be all right.” “If you say so, Sire.” “I do and I’m the king, so I am always right.” Merlin lifted his head to look into Arthur ’s eyes. “Are you ever going to change?” “No, you’d get bored,” Arthur grinned drawing Merlin’ s head back down, “Sleep.” Homecoming Arthur woke up to Gavin patting his cheek. “Father , wake up.” “I’m awake,” Arthur said looking around his heart jumped as he realized Merlin was not there. His boots and cloak were gone. W as he gone? “Merlin!” “Merlin is going to call Killy ,” Gavin smiled. Arthur sat up, slipped on his boots, grabbed his jacket, and got to his feet. He scooped up Gavin and carried him through their camp. Merlin was standing in a clearing with his cloak on, the hood down. His dark hair sticking up. “Merlin?” Arthur asked. Merlin turned to look at him, eyes shining with tears, and shook his head, “What if it doesn’ t work? What if I have lost that part of me…the only thing I had of my father?” “You won’ t know until you try , Merlin,” Arthur shook his head shifting Gavin’ s weight onto his hip. “Go ahead.” Merlin nodded wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his cloak and took a deep breath. “Here goes,” he said, then tilting his head back he focused and let out a roar followed by the ancient words he knew so well. His magic sur ged carrying the call higher and further over the land. “It worked…at least I think it did,” he turned to look at Arthur who was staring at him in awe. “Merlin, that was incredible,” the king said. “Can I do that?” Gavin asked with a giggle. “Afraid not, little one,” Merlin grinned. It was several minutes before they heard the familiar sound of leathery wings in the air . Kilgharrah circled and then landed with a thud, bowing his head to Merlin. “Young W arlock, you have returned,” the dragon said his eyes bright. “Hello, old friend,” Merlin said, “I was not sure you would hear me. If I had lost my Dragonlord gift when I died.” “Your Dragonlord power is yours, Merlin, a part of your soul,” Kilgharrah said with a toothy smile, “I missed you.” “I missed you too,” Merlin said, “I need to know if this is permanent. W ill I live now , or must I return to A valon?” “You will live, Merlin, you are once again needed in this world. Not only to protect Arthur but to help Gavin learn to use and control his magic.” “His magic…did it come from Merlin, because of what he did that day?” “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon said, “When Merlin’ s magic was released, it absorbed and transformed Mor gana’ s eclipsing her darkness, purifying her in a way , as she died. It healed you and I and as you know brought Sir Gwaine back from the dead. Gavin is a special child, for not only is he the son of the Once and Future King, who himself was born of magic, but he is the balance. For when Merlin died the world needed him to be that balance. T o keep magic alive in the world until such time that Merlin would return to guide him.” “Is that what happened during the Great Pur ge?” Arthur asked. “Yes, it resulted in rampant magic with no balance. That balance was Merlin. Born into the world to both contain and sustain the magic. He was born with magic as you were born of magic, two sides of the same coin.” “Balance,” Merlin said looking at Arthur intently . Kilgharrah nodded, “Y ou may have defied the prophecies, Y oung W arlock, but prophecy always finds a way in the end. Y ou altered the path, and they merely found a new route to the same destination.” Arthur smiled, “Then Merlin can stay…he’ s home for good?” “He is,” Kilgharrah nodded. “And my immortality?” Merlin asked. “That part of the prophecy no longer exists because Arthur did not die, and you have returned. So, that I cannot answer .” “Who can?” Arthur asked. “Perhaps you can summon the Goddess herself for answers,” Kilgharrah said. “Maybe one day , right now I am just glad to be alive and back with the people I love.” “Killy ,” Gavin giggled, and Arthur placed him on the ground. Kilgharrah chuckled and lowered his head. “I am so relieved to see you are safe, little prince.” “Thank you for all you did, Kilgharrah,” Arthur said, “I owe you a great debt.” “It is I who owed you a debt for the crimes I committed against Camelot long ago. I was blinded by rage and sought revenge against your father . I should never have attacked the innocent.” Arthur nodded, “Y ou helped the kingdom as well, Kilgharrah. And I cannot honestly say that, if I had been kept prisoner in that cavern for twenty years, I would not have done the same.” “Kilgharrah, do you know where Aithusa is? Is she alive?” Merlin asked. “She is alive, your magic healed her as well. She is no longer deformed and crippled and lives in the White Mountains.” “Does—does she hate me?” “No, Y oung W arlock, she could never hate you. Y ou brought her into the world…called her from her egg. Y ou are her Dragonlord.” “And I abandoned her ,” Merlin said his voice edged with regret and sadness. “Aithusa understands. I am certain if you call for her , she will come to you.” “Perhaps I will go to her one day ,” Merlin smiled. “I am certain she would be pleased to see you. For now , you need to focus on settling back into your life here in Camelot. Much has changed since you died. Y ou are needed.” “Thank you, Kilgharrah for everything,” Arthur nodded. “You are most welcome, Great King,” the dragon bowed, “I must go now . It is so good to have you back Merlin. Enjoy this life.” “I will,” Merlin smiled, and they watched as he launched into the air and circled overhead a few times before flying away . Then he turned to Arthur and laughed, “I think that is the first time I ever heard him give a straight answer . All I ever got before were riddles.” Arthur nodded, “W e spoke a lot after you died. He told me how much he regretted some of the decisions he made. That he should have told you everything from the beginning.” “I’m not certain it would have made a dif ference,” Merlin shook his head. “Are you ready to go home?” Arthur asked?” “Gods, yes,” Merlin grinned. “Pack up, men, let’ s get back to Camelot,” Arthur ordered. They rode into the square a few hours later and Merlin’ s eyes lit up as he saw his home for the first time in over three years. Arthur smiled as he watched him take it all in. The city and the lower town had expanded a great deal in the time he was gone. Much lar ger and nicer houses had replaced tiny hovels and huts. Gwen’ s house had been expanded and fixed up for Hunith because she felt more comfortable there than in the palace. Though she did have a room in Gavin’ s chambers. The people came out of their houses to greet their king and the young prince as they returned. They had all been devastated to hear that Gavin had been taken, they were relieved, and overjoyed to have him back home. But it was Merlin who created the most jubilation. Arthur grinned as the people began to notice him and started calling out his name. Merlin! Merlin has r eturned! Merlin! He is back! Merlin is home! “I don’ t understand…I didn’ t expect…” Merlin shook his head and looked at Arthur . “I promised to honor you and your sacrifices for me and for Camelot.” “You did,” Merlin’ s eyes narrowed, and his eyebrows raised, “What did you do?” “Well, it started with the celebration outside the walls after you died, people came from all around including royalty . Annis and Mithian and so many others who wanted to remember you and to honor your sacrifice and to say their goodbyes to a young man they had always known was special. I got to hear endless stories of people you had helped…people you had saved. It turned into a yearly celebration growing lar ger every time. Druids came here to tell the stories of the great Emrys,” Arthur smiled, “Y ou believed people would have for gotten about you, but Merlin, you touched far too many lives for that to happen. Y our people love you.” “My people,” Merlin said softly , shaking his head. “Your people, Merlin. They have held out hope for your return and now here you are,” Arthur grinned. “But I don’ t deserve…” “Yes, you do.” Riding up to the steps they dismounted. Merlin was immediately swarmed by people. Hunith came down the steps with Leon and they both froze seeing who was at the center of the commotion. “Merlin!” Hunith cried out and ran down the steps the crowd parted to let her through, “My God, Merlin! Y ou’re home!” she choked back tears as she threw her arms around his neck holding him so tight. Merlin had tears in his eyes rocking her gently . “Mother ,” he said, his voice breaking. “My beautiful boy ,” Hunith gasped cupping his cheek, “Y ou’re really here.” “I am, mother , I love you,” Merlin grinned then hugged her tighter . Arthur climbed the steps with Gavin in his arms and looked around at all the people. He smiled and called out over the crowd, “Please, give Merlin some time to adjust and to spend with his mother . I promise in the coming days we will have a celebration. Spread the word and join us in welcoming home Camelot’ s most beloved servant, friend, and warlock…as it was he who rescued Prince Gavin and returned him to me.” The people cheered and chanted Merlin’ s name as they patted his back and shoulder and slowly moved away leaving him standing with his mother his eyes wide and his mouth open in stunned silence uncertain what to say . “Merlin,” Arthur said then motioned for him and Hunith to follow . Leon met Merlin halfway up the steps, “Merlin…” “Sir Leon,” Merlin smiled. “It’s really you,” the knight said shaking his head then with a wide grin he embraced Merlin cupping the back of his head. “Thank the Gods, you were missed around here, brother .” “I wasn’ t expecting this reception,” Merlin chuckled, and Leon smiled. “Best prepare yourself then because there is more to come.” “He’ s right, Merlin,” Hunith beamed. “I guess I’m just not used to everyone knowing who I really am…what I’ve done.” Gwaine and Percival came up the steps behind them. Gwaine put an arm around Merlin, “And you said people wouldn’ t remember you.” “Come along,” Hunith said taking Gavin from Arthur , “Let’ s get you boys fed and this little one needs a bath and sleep.” “Thank you, Hunith,” Arthur said then kissed Gavin’ s head. “I need to go with Arthur first,” Merlin said. “Very well, it is so good to have you back.” “I love you, mother .” Arthur headed up the steps and Merlin followed him. He glanced back at Merlin and grinned. “What?” Merlin asked. “Nothing, just so damn happy ,” Arthur said then he grabbed the sleeve of Merlin’ s cloak and pulled him into the empty council chambers, and shut the door . “I know it is a lot and you are feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Merlin, I want…” Merlin silenced him with a deep kiss, his hands tugging Arthur closer . “Overwhelm me, please,” he said huskily , and Arthur deepened the kiss. “Gods, Merlin,” Arthur whispered against his lips. “You really want me,” Merlin said. “Yes…” Arthur moaned kissing him deeper and harder his hand sliding around to the back of Merlin’ s neck holding him there as he backed him up against the door . “Always, Merlin…” “Ah, Arthur ,” Merlin gasped tipping his head back and Arthur chuckled. “Sorry , I got a bit carried away .” “No, I started it,” he grinned. Arthur looked into his eyes, “Merlin, did you ever…were you ever with anyone?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “When did I have time? Besides, there was always only you, and if I couldn’ t have you then I didn’ t want anyone. I loved Freya, but that was doomed from the start.” “I’m so sorry ,” Arthur said pressing his forehead to Merlin’ s. Merlin smiled, “Don’ t be.” “I am going to do everything in my power to make it up to you, Merlin. I promise you.” “I understand if you don’ t want to be together in public.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, I want everyone to know what you mean to me. What you have always meant to me. I wish I had known how you felt about me.” “It wouldn’ t have mattered,” Merlin said. “I do know one thing,” Arthur said, “If I had known how you felt about me, I am not sure I could have resisted. I was always so afraid…scared that if I had approached you, you would give yourself to me out of duty only and nothing more. I could not bear to use you in such a way.” “Arthur , I am yours, I have always been yours,” Merlin grinned kissing him tenderly . “And I am yours, Merlin.” A knock on the door startled them and they laughed. Merlin stepped aside and Arthur opened the door and the room filled with the people of the court ready for their king to inform them of the events of the past couple of days. Arthur moved to the front of the room and told everyone what happened. “We should retaliate against King Alined,” one of the lords spoke up. “I have reason to believe that it was not King Alined, but his son, Prince Amren who orchestrated the kidnapping. He is bitter and angry that I now have dominion over the kingdom he is due to inherit once Alined is gone,” Arthur said. “As he sees it, his father signed away his birthright to me. In taking Gavin, I believe he wanted to force my hand and start a war . I will not give him the war he wants. I will send a messenger to Deorham to inform the king what his son has done and let him decide what shall be done. My son is safe thanks to Merlin,” Arthur smiled meeting Merlin’ s gaze then motioned for him to join him. Merlin held his head high as he moved to stand next to his king causing gasps and muttering from the court. “As you can see, Merlin has returned. He rescued Gavin and returned him to me. Y et again proving his love and loyalty to Camelot. There will be many changes in the upcoming days. You should all be aware that my relationship with Merlin has also changed. I love him deeply and he loves me.” The gasps of surprise and some of disgust came from the court and Arthur looked at them intently . “If any of you have a problem with that, I will be more than happy to relieve you of your position in this court.” “Your majesty , you married a servant, but this…Merlin is…” a man spoke up his voice trembling. “Merlin is what?” Arthur asked his eyes narrowing. “Merlin’ s a sorcerer and, Sire, he’ s a man…” “Thank you for pointing that out, Lord Bishop, I was not aware,” Arthur glared at him, and the others smiled awkwardly . Merlin had to stifle a laugh. “Merlin is also the other half of my soul. He has given everything for me and Camelot. From now on you will show him the same respect as you show me. I am your king. Do not for get that and do not question me again. I have hidden my feelings for Merlin out of duty for far too long. I love him and we are going to be together .” “Yes, My Lord,” Lord Bishop bowed, “I apologize, please for give me.” “Good,” Arthur grinned, “If that is all you are dismissed.” After they all left Merlin turned to Arthur and lost it. He laughed so hard, and Arthur joined in. “The look on his face,” Merlin chuckled nearly doubling over in laughter , “Like he was sucking on a pickled egg.” Arthur pulled Merlin close and kissed him, “It is good to hear you laugh like that again. I missed it. I missed seeing your smile.” “But Y our Majesty , I am a man,” Merlin deadpanned then busted up laughing again. “A very beautiful and intoxicating man,” Arthur said cupping his cheek. “Can I ask you something?” “Yes…anything.” “I cannot help but feel like us being together is disrespectful to Gwen. I feel like I am betraying her . Are you sure?” “Merlin, Guinevere knew…I told her . After you died, I told her what you meant to me. She already knew . I think she would be happy for us. I think she would want us to be together .” “You told her , and she wasn’ t upset?” “Not at all. She understood because a part of her would always love Lancelot the way part of me would always love you. She loved you too, Merlin.” Merlin nodded, tears in his eyes, “I am glad…I would never want. And Gavin…” “Gavin loved you even before he met you. I told him everything about you and our adventures together .” Merlin smiled, “Y ou did.” “Yes, I am required to tell him one of our stories before bed every night before he goes to sleep.” “Maybe I could tell him a story sometime.” “I guarantee he will be demanding just that.” “Can we really do this? Be together…be a family?” “Is that what you want?” Arthur asked softly and Merlin nodded. “More than anything.” “Then that is what you shall have.” “Um, I should see about sorting out the physician’ s chambers and my old room. And if you still want me to take over Geof frey’ s duties as well…the library probably needs cleaning and organizing. Then there is the secret room…” “Secret room?” Arthur asked raising an eyebrow . “Yeah, the room where I found and released the Goblin.” “Ah yes, I remember that all too well.” “There are magic books in there that need to be collected and cataloged.” Arthur smiled and placed a hand on Merlin’ s neck, “There is plenty of time for that. Y ou need to take a few days and settle in. As for your old room, you will not be needing it if you move into my chambers with me.” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want me to move into your chambers?” “When you are ready , yes,” Arthur blushed, “I mean if you want to. I don’ t want to push.” “Arthur , I want to, believe me, but for the sake of the kingdom perhaps we should ease them into this…what we are now . Some will not like that we are together .” “I guess you’re right,” Arthur said, “I should probably find a way to explain things to Gavin too before we go that far .” Merlin leaned in and kissed Arthur , “We need to tell my mother too.” “I didn’ t think about that,” Arthur shook his head, “Do you think she will object?” “I really don’ t know . I mean, I think she always knew that I had feelings for you, so that will not come as a surprise. But us actually acting on those feelings might.” “Merlin, as long as you know without a doubt that this is real and that I love you. No matter what anyone thinks about it, I do not care. I am tired of burying my feelings and denying myself the one person I need more than anyone.” “I will never doubt that…not now…not ever , Arthur .” Arthur kissed him deeply then nodded, “Y ou should go to your mother .” “I will find you later ,” Merlin smiled. “I should talk to my men,” Arthur nodded. “I’m sure Gwaine and Percival have already told them,” Merlin chuckled, “And I am fairly certain the castle gossip mill is in full swing.” “Yes, I used to hear things. People thought you and I were…that I was taking advantage of you back then. They assumed that just because I was not bedding every woman in the kingdom …” “I know , I heard the stories too,” Merlin chuckled, and Arthur looked at him. “Why didn’ t you ever say anything? I would have put a stop to it had I known. If my father had ever gotten wind of the rumors, he would have removed you from my service or worse. I thought my keeping quiet about it would make them stop.” Merlin smiled, “T o be honest, I did not mind. I never set them straight. I just let them think what they wanted to think and a part of me liked having them think that because people left me alone and I guess because I wanted it to be true. When I used to get you ready for bed at night, I used to wish you would ask me to stay . To take care of those needs for you.” Arthur nodded, “And I used to fight the ur ge to ask you to. W e were both stupid. W e could have been together back then.” “But then would you have married Gwen?” Merlin asked, “Y ou wouldn’ t have Gavin.” “I do not know what I would have done. Which is why I don’ t want to waste any more time, Merlin. As soon as you are ready and we tell everyone, I want you to move into my chambers and become my consort.” Merlin’ s eye widened, “That is quite of ficial.” “Yes, it is, and I want to make sure that you are protected in every way . No one will ever again treat you as less than you are, Merlin. I swear to you.” “I don’ t need anything of ficial, just to be with you.” “Yes, I know , but if anything should happen to me before Gavin is old enough. I want you to be protected and cared for . You will rule by my side in whatever capacity you wish, but I need to know that you are safe. Y ou have been through so much and lost so much because of me. And while I know I can never undo the damage or repay that debt; this is one way that I can at least begin to make amends.” “Arthur , you don’ t owe me anything,” Merlin said, tears in his eyes. “But I do, Merlin…and I am going to make sure you are loved and happy . “All right,” Merlin nodded then looked toward the door , “I should go now .” “Go,” Arthur kissed him and then watched as he left the room a soft smile on his face. “There you are, my boy ,” Hunith said as Merlin came through the door of the physician’ s chambers his eyes taking in the room. “I kept it as Gaius had it just in case you returned and wanted to take over .” “I missed this place so much,” Merlin smiled, his eyes brimming with tears, “I left Gaius.” “Merlin, Gaius loved you,” Hunith said, “Losing you broke his heart, but he understood. He missed you so much, but he told me that it did not surprise him that you chose to sacrifice yourself for Arthur . That it was your destiny , no matter the cost, to make sure Arthur lived.” “He’ s my friend, I could not let him die. He had to live.” “Merlin, I am your mother . I know you are in love with Arthur , you have been since the beginning. And seeing you two together this morning…I am not blind. Arthur loves you too.” Merlin smiled, “W e are um…” “I know and I am pleased,” Hunith laughed and embraced him, “Now sit down and eat. T ell your old mum everything. Starting with that father of yours. I am sorry I kept the truth from you about Balinor , Merlin…I just thought it would be safer for you. W e loved each other deeply and it hurt him so much to leave me.” “I know ,” Merlin nodded. “How is he? I mean other than the obvious.” “He is at peace, he helped me so much. I am so proud of him. Honored to be his son.” “And I am certain he is as proud of you as I am.” “Mother , are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am just happy to have my son back.” “I am glad you stayed in Camelot.” Hunith nodded, “I could not leave Arthur with a baby boy to raise. Losing Gwen was devastating for him.” Merlin rested his arms on the table as his mother placed a plate in front of him. “His own mother died giving birth to him…history repeating itself. I wish I had been able to save them both.” “What do you mean?” Hunith asked her brow creasing. “I sensed Arthur ’s despair and fear . I begged the Goddess to save them. She forced me to choose…Gwen or the baby…I chose the baby . When Gwen crossed over to A valon, I told her what happened and she was grateful, but I still feel like I should have done more.” “Well, as a mother , I can assure you that the life of her son was all that mattered to Guinevere.” “I just feel guilty .” “Have you told Arthur?” “Not yet. I need to. I’m not sure how .” “I am certain that he will feel the same as the queen. Gavin is his son and his heir . He dotes on that boy , and never fails to be there when he goes to bed so he can tell him a story and kiss him good night. Arthur is always telling him how proud he is of him.” “That is because Uther never gave Arthur the love and support that he needed and deserved. I think, deep down, he blamed Arthur for Ygraine’ s death when it was his doing. He used magic and when the price was her life, he lashed out at everyone and everything with magic instead of facing up to his own guilt. Arthur suf fered his entire life trying to please that man and he is determined that Gavin never feels the way he did.” “Arthur is a wonderful father ,” Hunith smiled, “And I think you will be as well.” “Me?” “Yes, Merlin, if you are going to be with Arthur , you will be Gavin’ s father as well.” Merlin smiled, “I guess I hadn’ t thought of it that way .” “It is good that Arthur told him all about you the last three years.” “I know I will need to help him with his magic. Kilgharrah said that his magic came from me. I don’ t quite understand how exactly . But when my magic was released, it healed him and Arthur and brought Gwaine back to life and somehow found its way to Gavin when Gwen was pregnant with him.” “That makes sense,” Hunith nodded as she began to eat, “Gwen did tell me that the day before Arthur returned to Camelot, she had a dream. She said she felt something, a calming warmth wash over her and she just knew that Arthur was alive.” Merlin picked at his food and shook his head, “I am grateful to be back. I just hope it isn’ t because of some impending doom. I just want to live here with you, Arthur and Gavin, and our friends. T o not have to fight anymore.” “Magic is legal now , there have been no magical attacks in years.” “And we have Alined’ s son trying to start a war and using Gavin to do it.” “I am fairly certain that when word gets out that you are back at Arthur ’s side, he will rethink his plans. He had little chance of beating Arthur before, with you here now…the enemies of Camelot will not dare to challenge him.” “I hope you’re right.” “So, are you going to take over for Gaius?” Merlin nodded, “And Geof frey.” “Really?” “Arthur doesn’ t need a servant anymore. I need to do my part in bringing back magic. Educating people and allaying their fears and prejudices against those with magic. Arthur asked me to write my own books to add to the library and I plan to collect all the surviving books and such that still exist in the secret room. This is what I was always meant to do and now I am back I can fulfill this part of the prophecy .” “I will be happy to assist you here,” Hunith said. “I would love that.” “I assume you will be moving into Arthur ’s chambers?” she asked with a knowing smile. Merlin chuckled and nodded, “He asked me to. I wanted to tell you first. And we need to give people time to adjust to the idea that their king is in love with his warlock.” “Merlin, don’ t you dare let anyone else keep you from the man you love.” “Mother , it is not that simple?” “Isn’ t it?” Hunith asked raising an eyebrow , “You nearly lost each other forever . Do you really plan to let what others think keep you apart just because a few might get upset? Arthur loves you and he wants to be with you. Do not waste a single second of this new life, Merlin.” “I won’ t,” Merlin smiled. “I really need to find some clothes. I stole these from a village after the Lake of A valon spit me out naked and disoriented.” “Then it is a good thing that Gaius and I kept all your belongings. Y ou will find everything in your old room. Including your magic book and the Sidhe staf f and whatever else you had hidden beneath the floorboards.” “Really?” Merlin asked, “Why was everyone so certain that I would return?” “We had faith Merlin, because to believe anything else was too painful. Arthur believed more than anyone. He would visit the lake often and speak with Kilgharrah on a regular basis. He was convinced that one day you would return.” “I didn’ t know ,” Merlin said. “The man loves you.” “Arthur said that he told Gwen, after I died, he told her what I meant to him.” “Yes, Gwen and I talked about it. She adored you, Merlin. She was so grateful to have Arthur alive and well and the kingdom was safe from Mor gana at last. She knew you loved Arthur and that he loved you.” “I am really scared that if I accept that this is all real, that I can finally have Arthur…” “You’re afraid something will happen to take it all away .” “Yes.” “Then all the more reason to live in the present, my boy .” “You’re right.” “Of course, I am,” Hunith beamed, “Now finish your food and go find your king.” “I am really glad you’re here,” Merlin smiled. “Nowhere I would rather be. Before you go, you should clean up and change your clothes.” “Wish I had a tub. I could really use a bath.” “There’ s one in your room,” Hunith smiled, “Arthur had it brought in here for me before I moved to Gwen’ s old house. Should I have water brought in?” Merlin grinned, “I think I can handle it.” “Good,” Hunith got up wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek, “I do love you, my boy . I need to take some salve to Evoric then I am going home for the evening. Give Arthur my love.” “Yes, mother ,” Merlin chuckled. “See you tomorrow ,” Hunith laughed then left the room closing the door behind her . Merlin got up cleaned their plates with a word then moved about the room touching every surface, inhaling the familiar scent of herbs and woodsmoke. T ears came to his eyes as he remembered Gaius, his snoring, and the eyebrow that struck fear in the strongest knight. “Gods, I miss you, old friend,” Merlin said softly , trailing his fingers along the stone hearth. He moved a chest from the table to the shelf where it had always been. He looked around then headed up the steps to his old room pushing the door open to find it just as he had left it except for the lar ge oval wooden tub by the wall. He tilted his head holding out a hand and the tub filled with steaming hot water and all the candles in the room flared to life casting a golden glow around the walls of the room he never thought he would see again. Opening the cupboard, he found his clothes clean and folded. His neckerchiefs and belts and his favorite brown jacket and two pairs of his boots. Hanging up on hooks were three brand- new tunics, blue, purple, and red. There were two new pairs of trousers dark blue and black, and a new pair of black boots. “Arthur ,” he smiled, “Y ou really did believe I would return.” Stripping of f his clothes and boots he slipped into the water with a deep sigh and closed his eyes. He felt a rush of emotions…grief, longing, pain, anguish…like sliding into a pit so deep and dark he could easily get lost in it. Then there was love, like a beacon, shining bright and clear showing him the way back out. His shoulders trembled, tears sliding down his face as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyelids. Arthur climbed the steps to Merlin’ s old room, he stopped at the door as he heard Merlin’ s quiet sobs. He splayed his hand against the wood not sure whether to intrude or to walk away . Shaking his head, he let out a breath and pushed the door open. He saw Merlin in the tub, head down. He closed the door and crossed the floor to kneel next to the tub. “Merlin,” he whispered placing a hand on the back of his head then gently caressed his neck, “Merlin, you are home…you’re here with me. Everything is going to be all right.” Arthur leaned forward pressing his lips to the back of Merlin’ s shoulder . It scared him to no end to see him like this, so broken and vulnerable. “Merlin, look at me, please,” he said, and Merlin turned his head, his eyes wide and dark with pain. “Arthur ,” he said. “I’m sorry ,” Arthur said brushing his thumb over the sensitive place behind Merlin’ s ear. Merlin shook his head, “I just…everything just hit me…” “I know , believe me…I’ve had many of those moments in the last few years. I understand.” “I mean, I am so grateful to be home…” “But you feel overwhelmed by all that you have lost.” Merlin nodded, “And I’m really scared, Arthur…that all this…that we…” He shook his head then leaned back, resting it on the edge of the tub. “Me too,” Arthur said then leaned over to grab the washcloth and soap. He slowly and tenderly began to wash the dirt and grime from Merlin’ s neck and chest. “Just lie back, I’m going to look after you for a change.” “You don’ t have to,” Merlin shook his head. “Yes, I do,” Arthur said as he raised Merlin’ s right arm out of the water easing the soap and cloth over his pale skin and lean muscles wrapping a hand around his slender wrist as he washed his long fingers and palm before pressing his lips to the center of it. “Y ou took care of me, but you had no one to take care of you. That changes now .” “Arthur…” “Shh, close your eyes and just let me do this, Merlin,” Arthur said then took hold of his left arm repeating the motions. He leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s chest. The scars that Merlin used to have were gone…where there had once been raised white jagged ridges of flesh, was now smooth pale white skin. “This is strange,” Merlin gave a husky moan as Arthur ’s hand slid down his stomach to his hip and down his thigh to his knee lifting it from the water to wash it. He repeated the motion with the other leg and Merlin let out a shaky breath and an even deeper moan. “Feel good, does it?” Arthur asked with a crooked grin. “It’s not unpleasant,” Merlin trembled and let out a gasp as his king slid a hand up his inner thigh hesitating just a moment before going further , slowly wrapping around his fully hard cock. “Arthur!” he growled, and Arthur laughed softly . “Finally ,” he said slowly stroking Merlin as he leaned over and kissed him. “Gods, Arthur…” “You are much bigger than I imagined,” Arthur said against his lips. “You imagined my…” Merlin’ s laugh was cut of f by a guttural groan of pleasure as Arthur ’s thumb and forefinger wrapped around the head. “Arthur…oh, that…don’ t stop, please. Gods, that feels so good.” “I have no intention of stopping,” Arthur said kissing him deeper , his tongue asking for and gaining entrance to Merlin’ s warm wet mouth, their tongues moving together as he pleasured him with his sword-callused hand. “I’m going to make you come for me.” “Arthur…I’m so close,” Merlin panted arching into the king’ s grip as he stroked his full length. He wanted it to last, he struggled to hold back, but it just felt too good. It wasn’ t just anyone touching him so intimately , it was Arthur…his Arthur . “Don’ t hold back, Merlin, just let go. I want you to.” Merlin tilted his head back and cried out Arthur ’s name. His chest heaving his hands gripping the edge of the tub as his lips parted and he shuddered violently as he came, spilling his seed in the bathwater . His eyes closed tightly; he bit down on his bottom lip. “Feel better?” Arthur asked as he nuzzled his neck and kissed the spot behind his ear while lazily stroking his cock. “Oh, yes,” Merlin gasped still quivering, the muscles in his stomach and thighs clenching and releasing with the force of his release. Arthur got to his feet and then leaned over to kiss him. “I’ll leave you to finish. Get dressed and join me in my chambers for dinner .” Merlin opened his eyes noticing the obvious bulge in Arthur ’s trousers. “But you need…” “Later , Merlin,” he said then tenderly washed his face and smiled. “W ear the purple one,” he said then kissed Merlin deeply before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Merlin huf fed a laugh then quickly finished washing and got out of the tub to dry of f and dress. He put on the black trousers and purple tunic then slipped on the new black boots. He gave up on his hair leaving it wet and messy then headed for Arthur ’s chambers. Just as he approached the door it opened, and he found himself face to face with Geor ge who looked at him at first with surprise then a tight smile. “Merlin, welcome home,” he said stif fly then with a bow he moved past him and down the corridor . “Are you just going to stand there with your mouth open?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Did Geor ge just bow to me?” “Get used to it, Merlin, you’re not a servant anymore.” “I’ll always be your servant, Arthur . Nice clothes and a title won’ t change that,” Merlin chuckled as he walked in and closed the door . “Lock it, I don’ t want to be disturbed,” Arthur wagged an eyebrow and Merlin laughed slipping the lock into place then moved toward the table where there was a veritable feast laid out for the two of them. “Um, Arthur…what you did for me back in my room…” Arthur closed the distance between them and kissed him, “That’ s just a taste of what I have in store for you, Merlin.” He looked down taking in his appearance and shook his head, “I always did love you in purple.” “I can’ t believe you had new clothes waiting for me. Y ou really had faith that I would return.” “I did,” Arthur kissed him again, “I had to keep the faith or go mad with grief.” Merlin shook his head, “I never considered how much my death would af fect you. I never meant to bring you so much pain.” “It doesn’ t matter now , you are back. Now sit down with me and eat,” Arthur motioned toward the table and Merlin sat down in the chair while Arthur took the one across from him and poured the wine. The king looked at him his blue eyes filled with concern. “Merlin, is there something bothering you?” “There are things I need to tell you, but I’m not sure how .” “I thought we were beyond secrets,” Arthur said, raising an eyebrow . “Come on, out with it.” “Well, first, I met your mother . She was beautiful and so sweet. W e talked about you and I told her everything. She is so proud of you, Arthur . She loves you so much. She also told me everything your father did.” “So, what she told me was true?” Merlin nodded, “I lied to you back then and I’m sorry . I thought I was doing the right thing.” “You did the right thing, Merlin. It’ s all right. Thank you for telling me. It feels good knowing mother is proud of me. That’ s not all though is it?” Merlin tore of f a piece of bread and a hunk of meat then shook his head. “When I was in Avalon, the night of Gavin’ s birth, I sensed your fear , your despair , and Gwen’ s pain.” Arthur stopped eating and took a drink of wine. “Y ou did?” Merlin nodded, “I used magic to look in on you and I saw everything. I begged the Goddess to save Gwen and the baby . I told her I would do anything.” “Merlin, what did you do?” Arthur asked warily . “I wanted to save them both, Arthur ,” Merlin’ s eyes filled with tears. “The Goddess…she forced me to choose. She said I could save the queen or the child, that if I didn’ t choose, they would both die. I—I chose to save Gavin. I let Gwen die. I’m so sorry , Arthur…if I could have saved her…” Arthur stared at Merlin, his eyes wide and dark. Merlin dropped his gaze to his hands and stilled, not daring to breathe, waiting for his king’ s wrath. When it didn’ t come, he dared to look up and Arthur was shaking his head. He slammed his fists down on the arms of his chair making Merlin flinch. “I—I’m so sorry ,” he choked on the words then slid his chair back getting ready to leave the room. “Where are you going?” Arthur asked, his voice hard. “I understand why you’re angry , I don’ t blame you,” Merlin said, “I’ll just go.” “Merlin,” Arthur said then got up walking around the table to grip his forearms, “I am not angry at you. No one should be forced to make such a choice. No one. I am so sorry the Goddess did that to you. It wasn’ t fair.” “But Gwen,” Merlin said, quickly averting his gaze. “Merlin, listen to me,” Arthur cupped his chin lifting his eyes again, “What she made you do was cruel. I am not angry at you; I am angry at what she did to you. T o be forced to choose between your dearest friend and the life of her baby .” “When I said that I felt like I was betraying Gwen, this is why . I can’ t help but wonder what she would think of my being here…” Merlin swallowed hard, “I saw her in A valon, and I told her what happened. She told me I made the right choice, and that the life of her child was all that mattered to her . But now I am here, and she isn’ t…” “Merlin, you know my mother died giving birth to me. Guinevere and I talked about it at length. She told me that if anything were to go wrong that she would gladly die to save our baby . You made the right choice. Guinevere loved Gavin with all that she was. She would not have wanted to live if he had died. It was not fair that you were put in that position, but I love my son more than life and I am grateful. It was so hard to lose her , but if I had lost them both…” “I couldn’ t let you lose them both,” Merlin said softly , shaking his head. “Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur said then drew him into his arms and kissed him, “I don’ t want you to feel like your being here is a betrayal to Guinevere. Please, let it go.” “I’ll try ,” he nodded. “Good,” Arthur cupped his cheek, “Now sit and eat.” They returned to the table eating in silence for a while until Arthur pushed his chair back and went to look out the windows. Folding his arms across his chest. Merlin watched him for a moment, he knew that look, Arthur was thinking. “Arthur?” he asked. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “For what?” “From the moment we met I treated you horribly . I took you for granted and I expected far more from you than any servant before you. I dragged you into dangerous situations that, as a servant, you had no business being in. Merlin, I put you at risk time and time again, for purely selfish reasons…because I couldn’ t bear to be apart from you. I needed you like I needed air to breathe. I think I knew even then that I loved you and because of that kept you at arm’ s length not allowing myself to admit to those feelings. I thought if I could pretend, they didn’ t exist I would be able to love someone else and no one would ever have to know that I was completely in love with my manservant. I think my father began to suspect something was going on when I chose to go after the Mortaeus flower to save your life. So, I had to be even more careful, because if he ever found out the truth he would have either banished or executed you.” Merlin remained silent sensing that Arthur needed to get his feelings out. “When you went missing after the rockfall, which I assume you caused to protect me, I was lost. All I could think about was that you were out there somewhere in danger and that I never told you what you meant to me. When you told me about your magic, I reacted badly . I was hurt and angry because you lied to me, and you didn’ t trust me with such a huge part of who you are. But then I realized that I never gave you any reason to. How many times did I tell you to your face that magic was pure evil, that it corrupted people? I belittled you and treated you like a fool. Y ou watched me follow my father ’s orders like a mindless attack dog. Y ou had every reason in the world to keep your secret from me.” “Arthur , if I could go back, I would tell you in the beginning. I wanted you to know . I nearly told you that day in Ealdor…if Mor gana hadn’ t walked in to tell us Kanen and his men had crossed the river , I would have.” Arthur nodded, “I know that now , but Merlin, I am not sure what I would have done back then. I cannot say for certain that I wouldn’ t have left you in Ealdor or turned you over to my father .” “Still, I should have trusted you.” “I know I told you that the past doesn’ t matter anymore, but it does. I cannot make up for the way I treated you and I cannot make up for all the pain and loss you suf fered because of me. Will, Freya, your father…and then you died for me.” “And I told you I would do it all over again,” Merlin said then got up from his chair going to stand in front of his king. “I love you, Arthur . I want to be with you. W e both made mistakes, but we are here now , and I don’ t want to keep things from you anymore. I want no barriers between us.” Arthur smiled and kissed him, “I want to love you the way you deserve.” “We can start right now ,” Merlin grinned then deepened the kiss. “Clothes are definitely a barrier ,” Arthur growled against his lips. “Yes, they are.” “I missed you undressing me.” “I may be out of practice,” Merlin chuckled staring into Arthur ’s eyes. “I’m sure it will all come back to you.” “Hmm, yes,” Merlin smiled backing Arthur toward the bed, tugging at the laces of Arthur ’s trousers, “I can’ t stop thinking about what happened in my room earlier . Seeing you hard for me.” “It’s not the first time,” Arthur grinned kissing Merlin harder . “You asked me if I have been with anyone, were you ever with anyone other than Gwen?” “When I was younger before you came to Camelot. I was with a woman once and experimented with fellow knights, but nothing like what I want to do with you.” “Really?” Merlin asked with a smirk. “Merlin, I want your mouth on me, please,” Arthur said with a hitch in his voice, “So many times I imagined those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock.” “Yes, Sire,” Merlin smiled dropping to his knees. He hooked his fingers beneath the waist of Arthur ’s trousers drawing them down freeing his engor ged cock. He let out a long, drawn- out moan as Merlin licked the full length from base to tip before swallowing him down licking and sucking and stroking him mercilessly until Arthur ’s knees were trembling. “Gods, Merlin,” Arthur gasped tangling his fingers in Merlin’ s dark hair , “It’s even better than I imagined. Y our mouth…” His hips stuttered as the head of his cock hit the back of Merlin’ s throat and he sucked in his cheeks. “Oh, yes…Merlin, so good.” Merlin drew back looking up at Arthur with such absolute love and desire. “Arthur , I want you to take me…please.” “Yes, Merlin…I want to,” Arthur said drawing him up to his feet and kissing him hard and deep. He pulled Merlin’ s tunic of f and removed his trousers after he kicked of f his boots. He stood before his king fully naked, his beautiful pale skin begging to be touched and kissed and marked by Arthur…claimed at last. “Arthur ,” his eyes flashed gold and he kissed him, “I’m ready please…” Arthur kicked of f his own trousers and tunic then eased Merlin back against the bed. “Y ou’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he kissed him. Merlin laid back on the bed and Arthur moved between his parted thighs his fingers finding him slick and open for him. He let out a low moan and pressed the head of his cock against his entrance biting down on his bottom lip as he struggled to slow down, to keep himself from the edge. Merlin kissed him passionately wrapping his long legs around Arthur . “Now , please, Arthur ,” he whispered huskily , “I need you inside me.” “I don’ t want to hurt you.” “You won’ t,” Merlin panted, “Please, I have waited so long.” Arthur kissed him full on the lips then dragged one hand down to Merlin’ s heavy cock stroking him slowly as he drove his hips forward into Merlin, groaning as the wet heat of his body enveloped him. “Oh, God,” Arthur whispered, “Y ou feel so good.” “Arthur , yes, please…” Arthur thrust into Merlin hard and deep and fast completely losing himself in the intensity of the joining of their bodies. It was even more incredible than he ever could have imagined. “Merlin, you’re mine at last…I love you,” he gasped. “I love you too,” Merlin breathed out throwing his head back, his eyes closed, and lips parted in a wordless cry of sheer pleasure. Arthur ’s cock filled him so completely , awakening his body in ways he never dreamed possible. His magic wrapped around them, and he laughed breathlessly as he felt it caressing Arthur ’s body and his king’ s eyes opened wide in surprise. “That feels strange,” Arthur moaned feeling Merlin’ s magic brushing over his skin like a thousand butterflies. “Incredible,” he gasped. Arthur pulled out of Merlin earning him a whine of protest. He moved onto the bed and laid down. Merlin moved on top of him immediately impaling himself on Arthur ’s cock once again. Arthur slid his hands over his shoulders and down his back to cup his arse while he rode him slowly , reveling in every movement. “Merlin…I’m close, so close.” “Touch me, Arthur ,” Merlin moaned as he rotated his hips and bore down on Arthur fully and his hand wrapped around Merlin’ s cock stroking him. “Y es, so good,” he gasped. “Merlin, now ,” Arthur moaned arching up into him as he spilled his seed deep inside him at last and Merlin followed him over the edge coating his hand in his own come. “Arthur…holy hell,” Merlin shuddered and trembled on top of him. “That was incredible,” Arthur laughed breathlessly . “Gods, why did we wait so long?” Merlin asked. “We were clearly idiots.” Easing of f Arthur , Merlin laid down next to him and they kissed. Chests pressed together , skin glistening with sweat. “I love you,” Merlin smiled. “I love you, Merlin,” Arthur grinned his thumb stroking his cheek and gliding across his bottom lip. “Always. Stay the night with me.” “I think I can be persuaded,” Merlin grinned kissing him lazily as they clung to each other . Arthur brought his hand up and removed his silver ring sliding it onto Merlin’ s finger bringing tears to his eyes. “Arthur , I can’ t…” “You can, Merlin. I want everyone to know what we are to each other now . Wear it always.” “But it was your mother ’s.” “And she would want you to have it.” “Are you sure?” “Yes,” Arthur kissed him. “Thank you,” Merlin smiled kissing him back. “Are you tired?” Arthur asked. “Not really .” “Feel like going to the tavern?” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want to go to the tavern?” “I think we should go. Gwaine and the others are there tonight. I know they want to welcome you home too.” “What about Gavin’ s story time?” “Already taken care of. The poor little one was exhausted. He was out before I got to the bit about the unicorn.” “In that case, let’ s go to the tavern,” Merlin grinned. Arthur kissed him then they got out of bed cleaned up and got dressed. Merlin’ s hair was all over the place and Arthur laughed trying to tame it to no avail. “I think you may need a little magic for this,” Arthur smiled, “Y ou walk in looking like that and they will know exactly what we have been up to.” “I thought you wanted everyone to know ,” Merlin grinned. “I want them to know we are together but what we do in our bedroom is none of their business,” Arthur said kissing him. “Y ou know Gwaine…” “Ah yes, I do,” Merlin smiled then with a word his magic smoothed his hair . “Better?” “I shall look forward to messing it up again later ,” Arthur said huskily then pulled him close, “You are beautiful, Merlin.” “Am I really?” “Gods, yes, absolutely ethereally so.” “I still can’ t quite believe this is happening.” “We just made love,” Arthur grinned, “And if we don’ t get going, I am going to mess up that hair right now .” Merlin laughed then headed for the door and unlocked it. They left Arthur ’s chambers heading down the corridor out of the castle and toward the lower town. The Rising Sun was full of people when they entered. Musicians were playing in the corner and there were couples dancing. Gwaine spotted them immediately and waved them over . “Didn’ t expect to see you two tonight,” he winked, and Arthur gave him a stern look, though his eyes were filled with amusement. “I figured you all would want to welcome Merlin home,” he smirked. “Aye that we do,” Gwaine said embracing Merlin, “Y ou look really good, old friend. Happy .” “I am,” Merlin smiled shyly lowering his head for a moment, “It feels good to be back.” “Look at you,” Leon said, “All dressed up.” The knight embraced Merlin. “It is good to see you.” “Merlin,” Percival said placing a big hand on his shoulder , “Welcome home, you were missed.” “Thank you,” Merlin smiled then followed Arthur to a bench on the other side of the long table where the knights were sitting. They sat down and Evoric brought them tankards of mead. “Merlin, dear boy , it is so good to see you again,” he said, “W elcome back.” “Good to see you too, Evoric,” Merlin grinned, “How’ s Greta and the kids?” “Greta is well, she is visiting her sister in Brenwell, she will be delighted to see you. The kids have all grown and moved away , but they are doing well. James will be moving home to take over the tavern in a few months I am getting too old for this. I must get back to my patrons. Again, welcome back, Merlin.” Arthur leaned close linking their fingers together . “Are you all right? If it is too overwhelming we can go.” “No, I want to stay ,” Merlin said. “Good,” Arthur smiled then kissed him earning them a series of whistles and cheers from the knights. They both rolled their eyes and smiled. “It’s about time,” Leon chuckled, and Arthur looked at his old friend and first knight. “What are you on about?” he asked him. “Poetry ,” Leon grinned. “Right,” Arthur nodded, and Merlin laughed, his blue eyes wide and filled with mirth. It was so good to see Merlin happy and alive. His heart swelled with love and quietness even in the midst of the gaiety . The other half of his soul was back where he belonged, and he would never let anything come between them again. “I love you.” Merlin kissed him, “I love you too.” Two hours, many more tankards of mead, and a lot of celebrating later , the two of them and Gwaine made their way back to the castle. The three of them were laughing and shoving each other playfully . “Gwaine…you’re drunk,” Arthur said, only slightly slurring his words. “So are you, My Lord,” Gwaine chuckled, “Good thing Merlin is still somewhat sober , or we would be sleeping in the upstairs room again.” “You two slept in the inn?” Merlin asked. “Yep, after you…we got drunk. Percival and Leon had to practically carry us upstairs,” Arthur grinned. “It’ s not appropriate for a king to get drunk in public…but I am so happy tonight. I have you back,” he said stopping to pull Merlin into his arms for a deep kiss. Gwaine laughed, “Y ou’re worried about getting drunk in public and you’re making out with Merlin in the street.” “Shut up, Gwaine,” Merlin grinned kissing Arthur back. “I’ll leave you two be,” Gwaine laughed then headed for his chambers. “Good night, Gwaine,” Arthur chuckled. “Good night, My Lord…good night, Merlin.” Arthur laughed, “Maybe we should take this back to my chambers.” “I have a better idea,” Merlin grinned then took his hand leading Arthur through a door and into the castle. He pulled him into a short corridor and through a door into a stairwell that led up to the tower . They stumbled through a door and into a round room at the top of the tower its windows overlooking the whole city bathed in moonlight. “I haven’ t been up here since I was a child,” Arthur smiled, “I used to love this room.” “I would come here often to think, to practice magic,” Merlin said leaning on the windowsill taking in the view . Arthur stared at him intently and shook his head. “It must have been so lonely , so isolating…being forced to hide who you were.” “It was, but I don’ t have to anymore,” Merlin turned to meet his gaze, his smile bright and open. Arthur moved closer wrapping his arms around him, “Never again, Merlin…never again.” He kissed him deeply then went down on his knees his fingers quickly freeing Merlin’ s half- hard cock swallowing him down. Merlin moaned loudly , one hand on the windowsill and the other on his king’ s head, his fingers tugging at his hair as his mouth devoured his full length. “Arthur , Gods, feels so good,” he gasped tilting his head back, lips parted. “Merlin,” Arthur whispered looking up at him with wild eyes reveling in the feel of Merlin, the taste of Merlin. “Arthur , your mouth,” he breathed out, chest heaving, as he resisted the ur ge to thrust into that wet heat. “My Lord…Sire…Gods, please…” He leaned back against the stone, his knees trembling. “Arthur , I’m close…” Arthur moaned around him and sucked in his cheeks his tongue curling around Merlin’ s cock and a moment later he came with a violent shudder spilling his seed in the mouth of his sovereign. His knees gave out and he collapsed in Arthur ’s arms holding on to him like a lifeline. “Merlin,” Arthur said with a breathless laugh, “Are you all right?” “Ask me that when I can remember my name,” Merlin chuckled. “I love making you come,” Arthur whispered in his ear , “The look of utter bliss on your face…and your eyes…they turn gold for just a moment when you reach the threshold.” “Do they?” Merlin asked with a grin as he looked into Arthur ’s eyes. “Yes, it’ s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Absolutely stunning.” “I’ve never felt like this, Arthur…all my life I was never able to truly be myself with anyone.” “I’m glad you can now…with me,” Arthur smiled kissing him tenderly . Merlin’ s hand stroked the length of Arthur ’s hard shaft through his trousers as they kissed. “Shall I return the favor , Sire?” he asked with a grin. “Stand up,” Arthur said, and Merlin got to his feet. Arthur followed suit and unlaced his trousers. “T urn around and lean on the windowsill.” Merlin obeyed looking back over his shoulder as Arthur ran his hands over the soft flesh of his arse his fingers delving inside him. “Arthur ,” Merlin moaned pressing back against those fingers as he worked him open with only a little aid from magic. “Hold on to something,” Arthur grinned then pulled his fingers out freeing his cock, and stepped forward thrusting into Merlin in one smooth motion, burying himself inside to the hilt. Merlin let out a cry of pleasure his fingers gripping the stone as Arthur rolled his hips making him shiver from head to toe. “Gods, you feel good, Merlin.” “Arthur…” Merlin moaned as they moved together both breathing hard and desperate for more, needing to get closer , to mer ge their bodies and souls for eternity . “Harder , please,” Merlin gasped thrusting back against his king the head of his cock brushing against the spot inside him that made him see stars and his knees go weak. “I love you,” Arthur growled pounding into Merlin harder and faster until he spilled inside him with such force that he swore he nearly lost consciousness. “Gods, Merlin…” Merlin could not speak, he was so lost in the moment, the ecstasy of release. He barely touched himself and he was coming, spilling his seed over his hand. He pressed his forehead to the cool of the stone wall and Arthur curled around him. “Never like this with anyone else,” Arthur whispered against the back of his head, “Only you, Merlin…only you.” “Arthur ,” Merlin said breathlessly . “Are you all right? I didn’ t hurt you did I?” “Oh, I am good…amazing in fact,” Merlin said leaning back into his arms. “I wonder if I can let Leon run the kingdom for a week or two and we can stay in my chambers and make love over and over .” Merlin laughed, “As brilliant as that would be, I’m not sure it would be a good idea. People will think I enchanted you or something to distract you from your duties.” “You are a wonderful distraction,” Arthur kissed him. “Come on, it is getting cold up here,” Merlin said, “Let’ s go back to your chambers.” They righted their clothing smoothed down their hair and headed back down the spiral staircase. W alking hand in hand down the corridor of the silent palace. This is how it was always meant to be. This was their destiny realized. “Merlin,” Arthur said as they reached the door of his room. “Yeah?” Merlin asked. “I am not sure what I will need to do to make it possible under the laws of Camelot, but I want you to be mine in every way . I want to marry you. If you will have me.” Merlin’ s eyes went wide and bright, “Arthur…” “Merlin, will you marry me?” Arthur asked taking hold of both hands, his thumb tracing the silver ring on his finger . “Please, I love you and I want you to be my husband.” “Yes,” Merlin said tears shining in his eyes, “Y es, Arthur , I will marry you. If that is even possible.” Arthur sur ged forward and kissed him deeply , “I will do whatever it takes to make it happen.” “If not then perhaps we can be bound in other ways,” Merlin smiled. Arthur kissed him deeply and then opened the door . They went inside and Merlin closed and locked the door again. He poured them some wine and started the fire in the hearth to ward off the chill of the room while Arthur cleaned up and got ready for bed. Merlin watched him with a crooked grin on his face as he washed and undressed. “What?” Arthur asked when he noticed. “You really have learned to do things for yourself.” “I can unlearn if you prefer ,” Arthur grinned. “Actually , I kind of like this new independent you,” Merlin said as he closed the distance between them and pulled of f his tunic and boots. “Do you now?” “Mmm, yes, it’ s really kind of nice to not have to worry about chores. I can focus on much more rewarding endeavors.” “Please do,” Arthur smirked as Merlin kissed his neck and shoulder . “Yes, My Lord,” he said then kissed him full on the mouth. The New Prophecy Merlin sat on the floor in the secret room of the library surrounded by piles of magic books sorted by the type of magic they contained and subject matter . He was surprised that so many had survived Uther ’s pur ge and suspected that Geof frey had kept them in this room on purpose. There’ s no way the man did not know this room existed. His suspicions were confirmed when he found a book, more of a record. It was in the old librarian’ s handwriting the dates listed were all after the start of the Great Pur ge. It listed the books that had been destroyed. Merlin smiled, Geof frey had been working behind Uther ’s back to protect materials that were rare and that he could not bear to see lost forever . Getting to his feet, Merlin walked over to a long shelf, he waved a hand banishing the layers of dust and cobwebs then his eyes flashed gold and each shelf was engraved with magic runes that would protect the books from everything from fire to flood. He then arranged them on the newly cleaned shelves. “Merlin!” Merlin turned around grinning at the sound of Gavin’ s voice. He walked to the panel, pushed it open, and stepped through into the main library . “Merlin, there you are,” Gavin smiled running to him. “Hello, what are you doing here, little one?” “Hunith brought me.” Just then Hunith came around the corner . “There you are, young man, you are getting too fast for me,” she laughed. “Merlin, you’re covered in dust, what are you doing in here?” “Cleaning the secret room, or ganizing the magic books that were hidden in there. I am taking over for Geof frey.” “Aren’ t you taking on too much, so soon?” she asked, “Physician and librarian?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Believe me compared to being Gaius’ apprentice, Arthur ’s manservant, and secret defender of Camelot, this is a piece of cake.” “I suppose so,” Hunith said, “I just worry .” “I’m fine, mother , really ,” Merlin grinned kissing her cheek. “You do look happy ,” she smiled knowingly , “I assume you and Arthur…” Merlin blushed, “Y es, he wants me to marry him.” “Oh, that is wonderful news.” “It may never happen, but it is nice knowing that it’ s what he wants.” “Arthur loves you, Merlin. I am certain he will find a way .” “What if the people, the court won’ t accept us being together?” “Does it matter?” Hunith asked, “As long as you and Arthur love each other?” “No, it doesn’ t,” Merlin grinned then kissed Gavin’ s cheek. “I want books,” Gavin said wrapping his arms around Merlin’ s neck. “Then let’ s find you some books,” Merlin laughed. Arthur paced the empty council chambers his arms folded across his chest. He’d woken up from a nightmare to an empty bed, empty chambers. For a fleeting moment, he feared that he had dreamed it all, that Merlin was still dead. Then he looked over at the tangled bedding, the imprint from another head on the pillows and he smiled. He’s spent the entire morning pouring over the laws of Camelot looking for a way to make it possible for him and Merlin to marry . For Merlin to be accepted as his and to rule by his side. He had trusted members of the court working out the details. W ith luck, he and Merlin could be married within a month. He smiled running his fingers through his hair . He needed a haircut and now that Merlin was back… “Sire,” Leon said as he came through the door , “Riders are approaching the gates. They wear the colors of Deorham.” “Alined’ s men…” Arthur frowned, “Show them to the throne room. I will see them immediately .” “Very well,” Leon nodded and left. Arthur took a breath and then headed for the throne room. He spotted Gwaine in the corridor . “Gwaine, I need you to go to the library and find Merlin. T ell him to dress and meet me in the throne room we have guests. Alined’ s men.” Gwaine nodded, “I’ll go. What do you think this is about?” “Not sure, but I need Merlin there with me.” “Right, I’ll go get him and we will meet you in the throne room,” Gwaine said then took of f running down the corridor . Merlin was just leaving the library when Gwaine rounded the corner . “What’ s wrong?” he asked. “Arthur sent me to find you, Alined’ s men are here. He needs you to dress up pretty and join him in the throne room.” “What do they want?” Merlin asked as they headed for the physician’ s chambers so he could clean up and change clothes. “No idea, but it can’ t be good.” Hunith was preparing a remedy when they walked in, and Gavin was sitting on the bed looking at a book of pictures of mythical creatures. “Merlin, Gwaine,” she smiled. “Mother , I need you to keep Gavin here, do not let him out of your sight. Alined’ s men are here, and we don’ t know what they want,” Merlin said as he ran up the steps to his room and closed the door . He used magic to heat water in a bowl, washed up quickly then put on his new dark blue trousers and the red tunic with the gold embroidered collar and cuf fs. Slipped on his black boots and tamed his hair with magic then headed back downstairs. Hunith reached up to fix the collar and patted his cheek. “I will keep Gavin here with me,” she nodded, “T ell Arthur he is safe.” “I love you,” Merlin kissed her forehead then bent to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “Gavin, you will protect my mother for me?” “I will,” the boy beamed up at him. “Gwaine,” Merlin nodded, and they left the room. Arthur looked up as the door opened and Merlin walked in with Gwaine right behind him. He approached looking around warily . “Where are they?” he asked. “They are on their way up now ,” Arthur said as he looked Merlin over from head to toe and smiled making an appreciative sound. “W e definitely need to get the tailor to make you more new clothes. Y ou look incredible.” “Thank you, My Lord,” Merlin grinned, leaning in for a kiss, but Gwaine cleared his throat alerting them to the arrival of their guests and he moved to stand behind Arthur ’s throne, but the king gripped his wrist and drew him forward to stand beside him. “Your Majesty ,” Leon said, “I present the delegation from King Alined. They asked for an audience with you in regard to the actions of Prince Amren.” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, then Leon stepped aside, and the men entered. “Your highness, King Arthur ,” the leader said, “I am Sir Harak, first knight of Deorham. King Alined sent us with an of fering and his deepest apologies for the actions of his son Prince Amren in the kidnapping of your son Prince Gavin.” Arthur raised an eyebrow , “He is admitting that Amren was involved?” “Yes, My Lord,” Harak said, “The prince confessed to the king what he had done after some persuasion. King Alined has disinherited him and named his daughter , Princess Fiona as his successor to the throne.” “And what is this of fering?” Arthur asked. Harak motioned to one of his men who moved to the door and gestured to someone in the corridor . A man in restraints, with a hood over his head, was dragged into the throne room and forced onto his knees at Arthur ’s feet. The hood was then removed to reveal a terrified Prince Amren. “King Alined wishes to avoid war ,” Harak said, “Prince Amren is at your mercy , to face sentencing for the crime of kidnapping your son.” Arthur stared down at the prince, he was only a year older than Arthur . They had known each other as boys. The man had grown up pampered and protected. “Amren,” Arthur said, “What do you have to say for yourself? Y ou kidnapped my son.” “King Arthur , I deeply regret what I did. I was angry at my father for giving away my birthright.” “My son could have been killed,” Arthur said his voice sharp and hard. “I know , My Lord, I beg of you, if you intend to kill me, make it quick.” Arthur gave Merlin a sidelong glance and Merlin gave him a barely discernable nod. He turned his attention back to Prince Amren. “On your feet, Amren,” Arthur said. The prince obeyed, with help from Harak, reluctantly meeting Arthur ’s gaze. “Please, Y our Majesty…” Amren practically whimpered. “Your father has banished you?” “Yes,” he said his voice trembling. Arthur let out a breath and shook his head, “Everything in me wants to have you put to death for what you did, but it seems that letting you live will be a greater punishment. Y ou will be released, Prince Amren. Y ou will leave Camelot…leave the five kingdoms never to return. Is that understood?” “Yes, My Lord, thank you…your mercy is appreciated. I will do as you have ordered. Y ou have shown that you are a good and strong king.” Arthur took a step toward him, and the prince paled, “It is not mercy , Amren. What you did was cruel and unfor givable. But if we are to achieve lasting peace in the kingdoms, it must be without bloodshed. I am not my father . If I were you would be dead already . I choose to let you live with what you have done and what you have lost because of your decision.” “King Arthur ,” Sir Harak bowed, “W e will inform King Alined of your decision.” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, “Now remove him from my court, please.” Gwaine and Leon glanced at Arthur nodding then followed the men out. Merlin released a breath and then took hold of his king’ s hand. “That was a tough decision,” he said softly . “Yes, but the right one,” Arthur smiled. “Are you all right?” “As long as you are by my side, yes,” he said then kissed Merlin tenderly . “I’m proud of you,” Merlin grinned. “Proud of your king?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Of you,” Merlin kissed him. “Funny , even though my father so rarely said those words to me, they mean so much more coming from you, Merlin. I want so much to be worthy of your love, your loyalty , and devotion.” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur…” “I love you, Merlin.” “And I love you, Y our Majesty .” “Now you use titles,” Arthur chuckled. “You’d rather I call you a prat? “Actually , yes.” “I love you, Prat,” Merlin grinned then kissed him deeply . The lower town was just beginning to stir as the sun rose in the east. A lone figure wrapped in a dark green cloak the hood covering her long dark hair walked with determination, her back straight and head high. As she walked through the lower town she lowered the hood. The people gasped their eyes going wide in fear as they stared in disbelief. She gave them a hesitant smile and continued on her way the people parting to let her through. She walked into the square only to find herself surrounded by knights. The alarm bells went of f alerting the citadel to the intruder . Arthur and Merlin heard them from their chambers. There was a knock on the door . It opened and Gwaine entered. “Arthur…” he said his eyes filled with fear . “What is it?” Arthur asked. “In the square, it’ s Mor gana. She has returned.” Merlin’ s eyes widened and he took of f running with Arthur and Gwaine close behind. He charged down the stairs and out the doors heading down the steps. He pushed between two of the knights. Reaching Mor gana, he drew her behind him protectively and shook his head. “Stop, please,” he said, “She means no harm.” “Merlin,” Mor gana said, sounding annoyed, “I don’ t need you to protect me.” “Doesn’ t look that way to me,” Merlin grinned. “Mor gana,” Arthur said as he came down the steps. “Arthur…” “Is it really you?” he asked motioning for the knights to stand down. Morgana moved from behind Merlin approaching her brother . She bowed her head and then knelt at his feet. She looked up at him, tears in her jade-green eyes. “It is me, the real me, Y our Highness,” she said her voice soft, but edged with fear and uncertainty . “Merlin told me everything,” Arthur said then crouched in front of her catching her completely by surprise. “I’m sorry , Mor gana.” Morgana shook her head, tears sliding down her cheeks, “Why are you apologizing to me?” “I failed you,” Arthur said reaching out to brush a tear away with his thumb, “I was blind to your pain, your fear . What our father did to you was wrong, just as he was wrong about magic.” “Arthur , what I did…” Mor gana choked back a sob. “It wasn’ t you…well, it wasn’ t all you. I know that now . How are you back?” Morgana glanced at Merlin then turned back to Arthur , “The Goddess, she said I could return, but I can only stay if I can earn your for giveness, Arthur . I know I don’ t deserve it… Arthur smiled and pulled her into his embrace, “Y ou have it, Mor gana…if you can for give me.” Mor gana’ s whole body shook with relieved sobs as she clung to her brother . Merlin met Arthur ’s gaze with a wide grin and a nod. “I’m so sorry , Arthur ,” Mor gana gasped. “Welcome home, my sister…I love you,” Arthur smiled cupping the back of her head. Morgana stif fened and drew back releasing him, then stood up. She closed her eyes tilting her head back as what looked like falling stars shot across the sky conver ging on one point to become a beam of silver light, pure and beautiful aimed down at the ground, at Mor gana. She raised her arms into the air and the beam came down flowing into her . She opened her eyes; they were a brilliant silver . “What’ s happening?” Arthur asked Merlin. “It’s her magic, it has been purified and it is returning to her ,” he said. “Oh,” Mor gana gasped as the magic settled down in her core where it belonged. “Mor gana?” Merlin smiled. “This is incredible,” she breathed out slowly , “Merlin…” “You have your magic back,” Arthur said. “Yes, the Goddess said that I had to have your for giveness in order to stay , but I could only have my magic back if you still have love for me,” Mor gana said with a soft laugh. “I didn’ t think…” “You’re my sister , Mor gana. I hated what you did, but I never hated you. I think a part of me understood why you went down the path you did. Our father lied to us both. He denied you your heritage and your rightful place in the kingdom.” “The throne was never mine to claim,” Mor gana said, “Mor gause, she poisoned me with darkness and hatred. She wanted the power she could only obtain through me. Y ou were always meant to rule, Arthur .” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur , his eyes narrowed as he studied Mor gana. She met his gaze with a genuine softness and reassurance. “You’re not her ,” he said. “Gwaine,” Mor gana smiled, “Y ou’re alive.” “Yes, thanks to Merlin.” “I’m glad,” she bowed, “I am so sorry for all that I did to you. I humbly beg your forgiveness.” Gwaine stared at her for a moment then shook his head, “Y ou’re not her…not the Lady Morgana I knew .” “No, Gwaine,” Arthur smiled, “This is the Lady Mor gana that I grew up with, the one who belongs in Camelot. She’ s stubborn, bossy , a little scary , but she is kind, compassionate and she’s my sister .” “And my friend,” Merlin smiled. Morgana turned to him, “Y ou look happy .” “I am,” he grinned then glanced at Arthur . “I missed you,” she said. “I missed you too,” Merlin hugged her and then kissed her forehead. “Father!” Gavin shouted as he came tearing down the steps with Hunith right behind him. Arthur turned and smiled. “Father?” Mor gana asked. “Mor gana, this is Prince Gavin Pendragon, your nephew ,” Arthur said proudly as his son reached the bottom step and stopped. He looked up at Mor gana with a bright smile and blue eyes that could see into the soul. “Look at you,” Mor gana cried dropping to her knees in front of him, “Y ou are beautiful.” Gavin moved closer to her reaching out to touch her cheek. “Y ou’re safe now ,” he said softly , “You don’ t have to be scared no more.” Morgana stared at him her eyes filling with tears. She shook her head unable to speak as Gavin wrapped his little arms around her neck. She held him tightly looking up at Arthur and then Merlin in utter disbelief. “Welcome home, Mor gana,” Arthur smiled. “Gods, look at you,” Mor gana choked back a cry of joy , kissing Gavin’ s little chubby cheek. “Let’ s go inside,” Arthur said scooping Gavin up in his arms. Gwaine extended a hand to Mor gana. She looked at him in surprise before taking it and he helped her up. Merlin put a hand on her lower back guiding her up the steps. “Lady Mor gana,” Hunith said as they reached her . “Hunith,” Mor gana smiled embracing her . “That’ s the beautiful young lady I remember , welcome home.” “Thank you.” “How do you feel?” Merlin asked her as they walked down the corridor . She stopped for a moment to look around then nodded. “I feel free. And incredibly happy . There’ s something dif ferent about you, Merlin…” she said studying him, taking in his new clothes then she spotted the silver ring…Arthur ’s silver ring on his hand. “Oh, this explains a few things.” Merlin blushed, “Y es, well, Arthur and me…” Morgana’ s eyes widened, “It is about time. Y ou two…always looking longingly at each other . Everyone knew you were completely besotted with Arthur and Arthur with you. I just never imagined that he would act on his feelings. He really has changed, hasn’ t he.” “So have I,” Merlin said. “I can see that,” Mor gana beamed, “I am so pleased, Merlin. Y ou deserve to be happy .” “As do you,” he said. “I’m beginning to believe that. I still feel so guilty though.” “I know…I still carry my own guilt, but we have to for give ourselves,” Merlin smiled. “This is your second chance, Mor gana,” Gwaine said, “Don’ t waste it dwelling on the past. If Arthur and Merlin can for give you…” Morgana turned to look at him, “But can you?” Gwaine shook his head, “It’ s strange. I don’ t see you as the same woman who tortured me on more than one occasion and then killed me. As I said, you’re not her .” “How can you not?” she asked. “Maybe if I had known you before, I would feel dif ferently . I cannot reconcile the two versions of you. Maybe that is a good thing.” “Maybe so,” Mor gana smiled looking into his eyes. Merlin went ahead leaving the two of them alone. Gwaine took her arm slipping it through his then followed. Mor gana felt a rush of emotion that was almost overwhelming as they walked into the throne room where Arthur stood with Merlin, Gavin in his arms. Her eyes filled with tears again at the sight and she smiled. “I’m home.” Arthur sat at his desk working on a speech. He couldn’ t focus on the words because he kept looking up at the door every few minutes waiting for Merlin to appear . Where was he? The last three weeks had been insane. There were constant and ongoing discussions with his advisors and lords over the most basic kingdom business. The getting used to having Morgana in his life again and trying to figure out a way to give her back what their father had taken from her , as well as working to change the laws to allow Arthur and Merlin to marry . Then an outbreak of some sort of fever in an outlying village had kept Merlin and Hunith away for five days only to have the same sickness break out in Camelot’ s lower town while they were gone. Mor gana had done her best to take care of the patients until they returned then the three of them worked together until finally , it was under control. Arthur rubbed his eyes and dropped his quill. He slipped on his boots and headed for the door. It was late and the castle was quiet, so he didn’ t care that he was only wearing his trousers and a sleep tunic. He needed to find Merlin. Not finding him in the physician’ s chambers, Arthur headed toward the library . The door creaked when he opened it. The room was dark save for a few scattered candles. The secret room… “Merlin,” Arthur called out as he reached the wall behind which he knew the hidden room lay. He kicked the shelf that tripped the release and it opened. “Merlin?” he said as the panel closed behind him. “Arthur ,” Merlin said, coming out from behind a high shelf lined with ancient books, “What time is it?” “It’s almost midnight,” Arthur smiled, “Are you all right?” “Yes, sorry , I lost track of time,” Merlin grinned. “I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me,” Arthur said his eyes narrowing. “Never ,” Merlin shook his head, “Just a lot to catch up on since the outbreak.” “Are you sure that’ s all it is?” “I am sure. I’m sorry for neglecting you, my king.” Arthur looked around the room and nodded, “This is amazing. I had no idea so much survived my father ’s pur ge.” “Yes, well, some of the books were severely damaged and I had to repair them with magic. Some were beyond saving. The shelves are warded now , they will be protected.” “That’ s good…very good,” Arthur said watching as Merlin stretched to put a book on the higher shelf. He smirked then stepped closer wrapping his arms around him. “It’ s very quiet in here, isn’ t it?” “Mmm, yes,” Merlin grinned as Arthur ’s hands slid beneath his tunic splaying over his flat stomach and he felt the hard ridge of the king’ s arousal pressing against his arse. “What shall your punishment be for neglecting your king, Mer—lin?” “Oh!” Merlin gasped then let out a low moan as Arthur thrust his hips forward pressing him into the shelf, “Gods, more of that…definitely more of that.” Arthur grinned and repeated the movement and Merlin let out a sound of desperate longing. “It’s not punishment if it feels good,” he chuckled. “Arthur ,” Merlin moaned pressing back into him, “Please…” Turning Merlin around Arthur kissed him hard and deep biting his bottom lip and thrusting his tongue into his warm wet mouth as he pressed him back against the shelf. Merlin’ s eyes were wide and dark with arousal his breath coming out in short gasps, his chest heaving. “Merlin,” Arthur growled, rolling his hips into his, “I want you now…” Merlin nodded eagerly , unable to form words he yanked Arthur ’s tunic over his head kissing his chest, neck, and shoulder . It was the king’ s turn to moan filthily , his hips stuttering as Merlin’ s hands quickly unlaced his trousers and pushed them down to his broad muscular thighs. Arthur shoved his hand down the front of Merlin’ s trousers gripping his hard cock. “Gods, Arthur!” he gasped kissing Arthur again, their hot breath mingling as their tongues moved together . They were both completely out of their minds, needing to feel every touch, every thrust. “Merlin,” Arthur whispered huskily pushing his trousers down and Merlin kicked them of f with his boots as Arthur lifted him of f his feet wrapping his long legs around his waist and kissing him, devouring his lips and tongue. “Magic…need magic,” he growled and Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold. A moment later Arthur thrust into him, and Merlin cried out in utter bliss. “Arthur , yes, please…” he panted, closing his eyes, reaching up to grip the shelf with both hands, holding on for dear life as Arthur drove into him. “Arthur…don’ t stop…more!” “Merlin, you feel so good, so tight,” Arthur kissed him. He looked into his eyes rolling his hips harder and faster . The wild look in Merlin’ s sex-addled gaze increased his arousal tenfold. “I love you,” he breathed out thrusting up into him, their bodies trembling and drenched with sweat. “Mine, always, Merlin.” “Arthur ,” Merlin said breathlessly . “I’m close,” Arthur whispered, kissing him, and sucking on his full bottom lip. Merlin placed one hand on his own cock stroking himself furiously as Arthur pounded into him with abandon. They shouted loudly as they came, shuddering violently . Merlin let go of his spent cock gripping the shelf as Arthur continued to thrust into him again and again until they could no longer move or form coherent thoughts. “Holy…” Arthur gasped, and Merlin huf fed a laugh. “If that is my punishment I shall have to neglect you more often.” “Such insolence,” Arthur grinned kissing him. “I love you,” Merlin said kissing him back. “I think we should take this to our bed.” “Perhaps you should carry me.” “So, you can kick me again,” Arthur smirked then nipped at his bottom lip then slipped out of Merlin then set him back on his feet. “Get dressed, Mer—lin,” he grinned then pulled up his trousers and retrieved his sleep tunic. “Yes, Sire,” Merlin grinned. Once they were both dressed they put out all the candles and left the library walking back to Arthur ’s chambers. Passing the guards in the corridor Arthur nodded, dismissing them for the night. “You think that’ s a good idea?” Merlin asked. “I’m sleeping with the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth,” Arthur smiled raising an eyebrow , “I’m perfectly safe.” “True,” Merlin chuckled then followed him into the room, and they closed and locked the door. He started the fire in the hearth and lit the candles while Arthur undressed. “W ould you like me to fill the tub for you?” “Merlin, you’re not my servant anymore.” “No, I know , but I don’ t mind.” Arthur looked at him and shook his head, “Y ou really miss it don’ t you.” “Being your servant,” Merlin said then shrugged, “Y es, I guess I do.” “Tell me, Merlin, if you never became my servant…if we never had this shared destiny , what do you think your life would be like now?” Merlin sat down in the chair by the hearth and took of f his boots. He looked at Arthur , shaking his head. “My life…” he said thoughtfully , his voice catching, “I don’ t know…and I don’t want to know .” Arthur moved toward the chair crouching in front of Merlin, taking hold of his hands. “Y ou never wanted anything else for yourself? Surely you had dreams.” “Only to be loved and to be free to use my magic…to be accepted for who I am,” he smiled, “I have that now , Arthur , and there is nothing else I want.” “Just every time I think about how much you suf fered, the pain and the loss, because of me,” Arthur said bringing Merlin’ s hands to his lips. “I just want you to be happy .” “I am, Arthur , believe me,” Merlin said, leaning forward to kiss him, “For the first time in my life I am not afraid. I don’ t have to skulk around in the shadows defending the kingdom anymore. And I finally have you the way I always dreamed of but never dared hope.” “Yes, you do,” Arthur grinned then stood up, “Now , get undressed and let’ s clean up and go to bed. I am exhausted.” “Yes, My Lord,” Merlin smiled. Three weeks later Arthur and Merlin were married in a ceremony in the clearing with the citizens of Camelot, the Druids, Kilgharrah, and even Aithusa looking on. The knights stood behind Arthur , Leon holding a beaming Gavin in his arms while Mor gana walked with Merlin who was dressed in black trousers and a fine purple silk tunic embroidered with silver thread on the collar and the cuf fs. Black shiny boots and a silver circlet on his head. Arthur smiled, his blue eyes shining with tears. Mor gana met her brother ’s gaze then she turned to Merlin smiling brightly . She cupped his cheek and nodded slightly . “You look so handsome,” she said, “I love you, Merlin. I am so pleased that you and Arthur found your way back to each other .” “I love you too, Mor gana,” Merlin said his eyes brimming with tears. “Arthur , you take care of him the way he always took care of you,” Mor gana said. “I will,” Arthur smiled reaching out for Merlin’ s hand as she moved to stand next to a tearful Hunith and Gwaine who kissed her on the forehead before taking hold of her hand. “Ready?” Arthur asked. “Yes,” Merlin grinned taking his place in front of his king, “I love you.” “Always,” Arthur said. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the ancient right of handfasting…” The time of Albion, born fr om Magic’ s sacrifice. The King lives, his legacy shall be the bridge between peace and magic. Emrys and the King, one soul, one heart, one destiny realized. Out of the darkness is born the light. For giveness, r edemption…faith, and love shall r eign. The bloodline unbr oken, a new r eign will triumph. Fr om the last br eath to a new awakening magic shall thrive once again. The world in balance. Life and death ar e restor ed. Long live The King…long live Magic! Giving Up The Ghost - By A-ha Chapter Summary If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Giving Up The Ghost by A-ha Icy road, blinding dark Rolling hills in the distance Open wound, a painful scar Love has left its burning trademark Off the grid, out of bounds Further down into shadow Darkest day and whitest night In harm's way We're chasing rainbows Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurts the most You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Frozen lake soon will flow Frozen ground soon to follow But hey - everything is in your head And what you killed is never dead Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost On what you loved the most On a coal-black sea, the sky's on fire Failed attempts at a funeral pyre Deep as dreams of dark desire The flames are growing ever higher You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Rating: Explicit Archive W arning: Major Character Death Categories: F/M, M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV) Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Mor gana (Merlin) Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Original Child Character(s), Kilgharrah (Merlin) Additional T ags: Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Morgana Knows about Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Gwen Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Queen Gwen (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Character Death, Temporary Character Death, Post-Battle of Camlann (Merlin), After Camlann Merlin Big Bang, Pregnancy, Evil Mor gana (Merlin), Redeemed Mor gana (Merlin), Merlin Dies (Merlin), Morgana Dies (Merlin), Alternate Universe - Canon Diver gence, Explicit Sexual Content, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning Language: English Collections: Ficsread2022 Stats: Published: 2022-12-24 Words: 56, 035 Chapters: 9/9 Giving Up The Ghost by MerlinsBrokenHeart Summary The battle of Camlann is done, Arthur is mortally wounded and dealing with the revelation that Merlin is a sorcerer . His servant has magic. The one person he trusted more than any other had betrayed him…lied to him all these years. Merlin is determined to take his king to Avalon to be healed by the Sidhe. Over the two-day journey, Arthur slowly begins to realize that Merlin is still Merlin, magic or not. The most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth… his servant, his friend, and protector . When Mor gana catches up to them before they can reach A valon, Merlin makes the ultimate sacrifice for his king leaving Arthur reeling. Defying prophecy and forever altering the fate of the king and of Camelot. Notes My tribute to Merlin in honor of the T en-Y ear Anniversary of the finale. Long Live Merlin!!!! This is the story I have always wanted to write. From the POV of Arthur, his internal dialogue and emotional struggle with Merlin’ s confession that he is a sorcerer . The actual dialogue and story pretty much follows the final episode up to the point where Mor gana catches up to them. From there it takes a drastic turn, diver ging wildly from canon, and creating a whole new ending. Enjoy and I hope you all love it as much as I do. Feedback appreciated. If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Aftermath Arthur was drowning in pitch-black darkness. His eyelids were heavy . The pain was like a lightning bolt in his side. Mordred, how could he have been so stupid to trust the boy? So, this is how it is all meant to end…with yet another betrayal by someone he cared about, someone he trusted. Arthur Pendragon...trusting fool. It seemed that his faith in others was to be his undoing. Maybe his father had been right not to depend on others…to not trust anyone. Another image penetrated the darkness, a fleeting glimpse of the old sorcerer…Dragoon? Why would the old man help him? Why would a sorcerer fight for Camelot, the kingdom that had persecuted his kind for decades? It didn’ t make any sense. The old man had killed his father and now he was carrying him from the battlefield…how in the hell was a doddery old man able to bear his weight in full armor? And why was he crying? Guinevere, his beautiful queen, at least Camelot would be in good hands. He could go to the other world knowing that. She would be a great leader and Merlin would be at her side to help her just as he had been for Arthur . His reign was done. He could die knowing the kingdom was safe. He just needed to let go. Arthur huf fed a breath and opened his eyes swallowing hard. There was a crackling fire near his feet and a familiar figure crouched on the other side of the flames. He knew that ratty brown jacket. But how did Merlin even find him? Where was the old sorcerer? “Merlin, ” Arthur said, amazed that his voice still worked. “How are you feeling?” Merlin asked, immediately moving to his side as Arthur tried to sit up. “Ah, ah mmm, ” Arthur grabbed Merlin as pain tore through his body . Merlin gripped Arthur ’s forearm where it lay against his shoulder, desperate to keep that connection to his king. “Lie back…lie back, ” he said, his voice thick with worry . “Where have you been?” “It doesn't matter now .” “Ah, my side…my side, ” Arthur said his head fell back, face twisting in pain. “You are bleeding, ” Merlin glanced down at the wound. “That's all right. I thought I was dying, ” Arthur said every breath a struggle. Merlin looked at him again his blue eyes shining with tears, his face etched with worry . “I'm sorry . I thought I'd defied the prophecy . I thought I was in time.” “What are you talking about?” “I defeated the Saxons. The dragon. And yet...and yet I knew it was Mordred that I must stop, ” Merlin said. Arthur patted Merlin’ s shoulder squeezing gently as his eyes widened, a slight smile on his face, “The person who defeated them was the sorcerer .” “It was me, ” Merlin said fretfully, grasping Arthur's wrist as tears pooled in his eyes. “Don't be ridiculous, Merlin, ” Arthur said, shaking his head slightly, “This is stupid, why would you say that?” He stared at him, struggling to grasp what Merlin was trying to say . “I'm a...” Merlin’ s voice faltered, tears sliding down his face as he struggled to find the words he had imagined saying to Arthur so many times. “I'm a sorcerer . I have magic. And I use it for you, Arthur . Only for you, ” he spoke with a quiet ur gency . “Merlin, you are not a sorcerer . I would know!” “Look…here, ” Merlin held out his hand, palm facing up, and uttered words that Arthur did not understand. Suddenly a familiar glowing orb of light formed, and Arthur's eyes widened in surprise as he remembered…all those years ago. He remembered that light. Arthur looked at Merlin as the truth seared his pain-addled mind. No, no, no, not Merlin… not the one person he trusted more than any other . Magic…Merlin had magic…it was not true…it couldn’ t be true. This was wrong…just wrong. Arthur wanted to run away, to put as much distance between himself and this person he thought he knew, but his body refused to cooperate. T urning his head, he looked for a way to escape knowing full well there was none...not from this. “Leave me, ” Arthur breathed, his eyes wide with fear and pain, his mouth turned down in a deep frown, body trembling with cold and fear . “Arthur, ” Merlin said, his voice pleading for him to understand. “No, just...you heard. Just...” Arthur said his voice filled with desperation, sadness, and a bone-deep feeling of betrayal that dwarfed anything he had felt with Mor gana…worse even than when he had caught Guinevere and Lancelot together . He glanced back to see that Merlin had reluctantly moved away, putting distance between them. The anguish in his eyes was almost too much for Arthur to bear, but he could not bring himself to call him back. Arthur awoke to the sound of footsteps approaching, for a moment he felt panic, but then he had Merlin to protect him. Merlin…his liar of a servant. He could still scarcely believe it. Merlin…a sorcerer…a goddamn sorcerer . But then he always knew there was something about him. And hadn’ t Merlin all but admitted it that day in the council chambers? Admitted to being the one who healed Gwen’ s father . And yet Arthur had made fun of him, convinced everyone that he was a fool in love with Gwen. T urns out that, yet again, it was Arthur who was the fool. Keeping his eyes closed, Arthur listened to Gaius and Merlin saying something about Saxons, Comfrey, and Sticklewort whatever the hell that was. “Merlin, why don’ t you water the horses? And make sure they are fed, we can’ t hide here for much longer, ” Gaius said. Arthur waited until Merlin had walked away and then opened his eyes. He reached for Gaius, grabbing hold of his robe. “He’ s a sorcerer!” he said, and the older man just looked at him. “Y ou knew .” Of course, he knew, Arthur, you idiot. The man took Merlin in and cared for him. “Arthur, he is your friend, ” Gaius said. “I want him gone.” “There is no need to fear him.” “Have him take word to Camelot. T o Guinevere.” “You cannot send Merlin. I will go.” “I need a physician right now, not a sorcerer .” “He can do far more than me, far more than you can ever imagine. Arthur, he doesn’ t just have magic…there are those who say he is the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth.” “Merlin?” Arthur said completely befuddled. Then he remembered what Gaius has told him after Mor gana kidnapped him. One day you will learn, Arthur . One day you will understand...just how much they've done for you . Merlin…Gaius had been talking about Merlin. One day he would understand just how much Merlin had done for him. Then he remembered what The Dolma said that day at the Cauldron of Arianrhod. One day, great King, you will r ecognize the true worth of those that surr ound you. Merlin was missing because she was Merlin. Merlin saved Gwen…it was his magic. Arthur felt shame and sadness begin to eclipse his anger . “If you are to stand any chance of survival, you'll need Merlin to help you, not me, ” Gaius said, and Arthur turned his head to look in the direction Merlin had gone while the older man finished examining his wound. “Arthur, there is a fragment of sword embedded in your chest. It is not an ordinary blade. Y ou must trust Merlin.” “Trust Merlin, ” Arthur huf fed a laugh rolling his eyes, “I’ll never trust him again.” “Merlin has always believed in you, Arthur…please believe in him…have faith in him. I always have, ” Gaius said. “Arthur, there is little choice. Y our only hope for survival is the Lake of A valon and the Sidhe. For only their magic can save you.” “The Sidhe…magical beings are going to be willing to heal me?” “I cannot say for certain, but there is no other option.” “Very well, ” Arthur said reluctantly, “I will allow him to take me to the Lake of A valon, but after everything…all the betrayals…this one hurts the most. Merlin…” “Arthur, Merlin did not betray you. He wanted to tell you the truth so many times. If anyone is to blame it is me. It was I who told him to keep his magic a secret.” “He could have told me after my father died…Merlin killed my father .” “You’re wrong, Arthur, ” Gaius said forcefully, “Merlin did not kill the king. He tried to heal him, but Mor gana had Agravaine put a necklace around his neck that reversed any healing magic tenfold. In trying to save Uther…” “Merlin killed him…” “I only discovered the necklace after, and it was too late to do anything. Merlin was devastated. He was so afraid that he had turned you against magic forever . That you would never know him for who he truly is. That is all he has ever wanted, Sire, to be accepted by you.” “This is too much, ” Arthur said, “Leave me, please.” “I am truly sorry, Arthur, ” Gaius said then he got up and went of f to talk to Merlin leaving Arthur to deal with his jumbled emotions. The pain in his side had faded somewhat, due to whatever Gaius had given him, leaving him with little distraction from the internal turmoil. Merlin…his idiot servant and friend…had magic. All this time he kept his secret. Made a fool out of Arthur and for what? What was his goal? What did he want from him? “Arthur, ” Merlin said apprehensively, and Arthur turned his head to look at him. “W e need to leave at first light.” “I’ll decide, ” Arthur said quietly . “I can't let you die.” “It doesn't change anything, ” Arthur replied then turned his head closing his eyes. He listened as Merlin walked away . His eyes burning with unshed tears, he heard Gaius speaking to Merlin. “Let him sleep. It's late. Y ou cannot travel tonight, ” Gaius said, “Y ou were right to tell him.” Arthur feels another punch to his gut. Merlin was right to tell him…he was wrong to have kept his damn magic a secret all these years. And Gaius…he lied to protect Merlin. He risked his life keeping the truth from Uther Pendragon. Arthur winced as a sharp pain radiated upward from his wound. Could he really trust Merlin to take him to some magical place? T o allow some magical beings to heal him? Merlin was there for him after his father died. Merlin was always there for him, by his side through thick and thin. Loyal, brave, and strong, and yet he was a liar . I didn't want you to feel that you wer e alone. Dammit, Merlin. How could you do this to me? Arthur grimaced as he tried to shift his position only to give up when the pain became too much to bear . “Stupid foolish idiot, ” he muttered under his breath, not sure if he was speaking of Merlin or of himself…maybe both. The rustle of the wind through the trees, the crickets chirping, the sound and smell of the campfire. Arthur looked up at the sky and remembered a night not long ago when he and Merlin had camped out alone in the woods near the cave of The Disir . Everything her e... is so full of life. Every tr ee, every leaf. Every insect. It's as if the world is vibrating. As if everything is much mor e than itself. Merlin felt all that when Arthur could not because Merlin had magic. Why then did he tell Arthur that there could be no place for magic in Camelot? W ouldn’ t he want magic to be free? For him to be free? Mordred…Merlin wanted to stop Mordred. He knew…the prophecy…Mordred was destined to kill him. That explained the constant tension between his servant and the young knight. And why Merlin was so upset that Arthur did not kill Mordred when he had a chance to do so. Arthur ’s head hurt from thinking. His side hurt. His heart hurt. The more pieces that fell into place in the complex riddle that was his servant, the more he wanted to punch something. The clearer things became, the more he wanted to scream. He almost wished he had died on the battlefield rather than having to deal with all this. He didn’ t want to deal with this. Mercifully, he managed to drift of f to sleep at some point during the night. Arthur awoke at dawn to Merlin stomping out what remained of the fire. He groaned, moving his head, his eyes heavy with sleep. The constant pain in his side forced his mind to focus on something other than Merlin. “Arthur, we have to go now, ” Merlin said softly, crouching next to him, “Please, trust me.” “You want me to trust you?” Arthur scof fed. “Please, Arthur . When we get back to Camelot, I will take whatever punishment you choose…I don’ t care. Just let me take you to A valon.” “And if I were to order you to be burned on the pyre?” Arthur asked, staring at him fixedly . Merlin’ s shoulders lifted, his expression stoic, determined, “If that is what you decide, then I will accept it…I’ll even save you the trouble and light the fire myself.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, you idiot. As if I could ever watch you die.” Merlin gave him a half smile and then helped him up of f the ground, with dif ficulty, but he managed to get him to the horse and maneuvered him into the saddle helping him to sit upright. Arthur reached up dragging a leather cord over his head. “Gaius, ” Arthur called out and the old physician approached, “Give this to Guinevere.” “It's the Royal Seal, sire, ” Gaius said as Arthur placed it in his open palm “If I am to die, I can think of no one who I would rather succeed me.” Gaius covered his hand with his own and nodded before he walked toward Merlin. “You know he was betrayed. The girl, Eira cannot be trusted, ” Merlin said in warning. “I know .” “How long does he have?” Merlin asked trying to keep his voice down, but Arthur heard him anyway . “At best, two days.” Merlin nodded then walked past Gaius toward Arthur . “Merlin, ” Gaius said, and he stopped turning back to face the older man. Gaius hugged him tightly, “I'll have your favorite meal waiting for you. Now go. Look after him. Go.” Merlin stepped between the two horses gathering up the reins as Arthur glanced down at Gaius. Merlin then led them away turning to look back at his mentor a look of dread in his blue eyes. They traveled in silence, Arthur hated the silence, but neither did he want to talk. He felt the wariness and fear emanating from Merlin, his head constantly on a swivel, eyes wide and vigilant. Why was he doing this? Why did he care so much? If he truly was the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, he didn’ t need Arthur . He had never once asked for anything. He could have used his magic to get whatever he wanted, but he did not. Why? Crossing the plains, the weather was gloomy, the wind biting. Arthur sat hunched over the saddle shivering beneath his armor . Merlin looked back seeing two men riding quickly toward them. “Saxons!” he stopped his horse and dismounted. Scrambling to grab the rolled blanket from behind his saddle, he unfolded and draped it over Arthur . “I'll deal with them. Keep your head down. Don't speak.” Arthur grabbed the edges of the blanket pulling it tighter around him to hide his face as Merlin stepped away looking down into the wooded valley below . A puf f of smoke suddenly rose from the trees below . It reminded Arthur of a time long ago when the woman witnessed the horse in the smoke. He closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath that Merlin did not hear . “Help us!” Merlin called out waving both arms in the air at the approaching riders, “Please you have to help us. W e were ambushed.” The Saxons dismount and walk toward him. “By whom?” one of them asked. “These two men, ” Merlin said. “What did they look like?” “Um...one was...a knight.” Merlin glanced back at Arthur seeing the exposed hilt of Arthur ’s sword. “They stormed our camp, ” he said pointing toward the smoke to distract the Saxons while he hurried to cover it with the blanket before they turned around. “You're sure it was a Camelot knight?” “Yeah.” The Saxon pushed Merlin back as he stepped forward then yanked the blanket of f Arthur . Both men drew their swords. Arthur watched as Merlin’ s arms came up, hands outstretched and both men screamed as they were thrown violently backward. “You've lied to me all this time.” Merlin said nothing, he just turned, retrieved the blanket, and got back in the saddle. Arthur gripped the reins with one hand ur ging his horse to follow . His chest hurt even more from the shock of seeing Merlin use magic so openly . The display of his immense power only serving to fortify the sense of betrayal. They rode until dark, then Merlin helped Arthur of f his horse and down onto his bedroll which he had placed near the base of a tree so that his upper body was slightly elevated to keep the pressure of f his wound. Arthur watched as he gathered wood. After several minutes of failed attempts to start a fire with flints, Arthur huf fed a breath. “Why don’ t you use magic?” Arthur asked. “Habit, I suppose, ” Merlin said, looking at him questioningly . Arthur nodded then watched as his servant’ s eyes turned gold and the wood burst into flame. “Feels strange.” “Yeah, ” Arthur said flatly, eyeing Merlin as he stood and went to grab his own bedroll. “I thought I knew you.” Merlin met his gaze, “I’m still the same person.” “I trusted you.” “I'm sorry, ” Merlin said, his eyes flickering with sadness, regret, and something else Arthur could not decipher . “I'm sorry too.” Merlin looked at Arthur then got up, moving toward him, and proceeded to remove his boots. “What are you doing?” “They need drying, ” Merlin said positioning the boots near the fire just as he had done countless times in the past then returned to his bedroll. “This will be good for you. Y ou need to eat, ” Merlin said, supporting Arthur ’s head as he tried to get him to eat. “Why are you doing this?” Arthur asked and Merlin placed the spoon back in the bowl. “Why are you still behaving like a servant?” Merlin sat the bowl down on the ground. “It's my destiny . As it has been since the day we met, ” he said giving his king a slight smile. “I tried to take your head of f with a mace.” “And I stopped you, using magic.” “You cheated!” “You were going to kill me, ” Merlin shrugged. “I should've.” “I'm glad you didn't. I do this because of who you are. W ithout you, Camelot's nothing.” “There was a time when that was true. Not now . There are many who can fill the crown.” “There will never be another like you, Arthur . I also do this...” Merlin rested the bowl on his knee, supporting Arthur's head as he got him to take a bite of the soup, “Because you're my friend and I don't want to lose you.” Arthur could feel himself weakening. It was all he could do to remain upright on the bent tree he was sitting on while Merlin prepared the horses. Pulling a waterskin from his saddlebag, Merlin turned just in time to see Arthur slump over and hurried to his side to catch him before he fell. “Arthur, you need to hold on. One more day. One more day, ” he said as he wiped Arthur's head with a cloth. He then put the cloth down and removed the top from the waterskin. “Why did you never tell me?” Arthur asked. “I wanted to, but...” “What?” “You'd have chopped my head of f, ” Merlin said then gave Arthur a drink of water . “I'm not sure what I would've done.” “And I didn't want to put you in that position.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “That's what worried you?” “Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me…I was born to serve you, Arthur . And I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't change a thing, ” Merlin said then he looked at Arthur, “Ready?” Arthur nodded then Merlin helped him to stand, and they moved toward the horses. Merlin was leading the way when he suddenly stopped and held up his hand. Arthur stopped as they both saw the smoke from a campfire through the trees just ahead. “Saxons?” Arthur asked, then watched as Merlin clearly did something. His shoulders visibly relaxed a moment later . “They're long gone.” “How do you know?” “I can see the path ahead, ” Merlin said, and Arthur immediately remembered the impenetrable forest and how Merlin got them through it and to the Dark T ower to rescue Guinevere. “So, you're not an idiot. That was another lie.” “No, it’ s just another part of my charm, ” Merlin grinned then nudged his horse forward and Arthur followed. It wasn’ t long before they both heard riders and men approaching from the other direction. Merlin held his hand up and looked around then nodded to their right. “In there, ” he said, and they rode of f the path and up an incline into a stand of trees. Arthur stood with his back against the tree for support while Merlin watched the approaching riders. He moved around the tree realizing that their tracks would be seen. “ Andslyht !” he said and out of nowhere a breeze picked up the leaves, covering over their trail. The Saxons stopped and looked around. Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold making the bushes across the trail rustle. “This way, ” one of the men shouted and they moved of f in the other direction. “You've done this before, ” Arthur said, remembering the wind in Ealdor as Merlin turned to look at him. “All these years, Merlin…you never once sought any credit.” “It's not why I do it, ” Merlin said, “Come on.” He then draped Arthur ’s arm over his shoulders and helped him back to their horses. They hadn’ t gone far when Merlin looked back to see Arthur slumped over the side of his horse. “Arthur!” Merlin immediately dismounted and went to his side helping him to sit upright. “I can't go on.” “There's not far to go. W e need to reach the lake before dawn.” “No, Merlin. No.” “All right. W e rest for an hour .” It didn’ t take long for Merlin to get a fire going. He glanced over at Arthur where he sat on the ground leaning back against a dead tree. He moved to sit on the log and gave him a drink of water . Arthur looked up at Merlin. “Merlin, whatever happens...” “Shh...don't talk.” “I'm the King, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do, ” Arthur said with just a glimmer of amusement in his pain-filled eyes in an echo of their familiar banter . “I always have. I'm not going to change now .” “I don't want you to change. I want you...to always...be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you.” “Does that mean you're gonna give me a day of f?” “Two, ” Arthur said. “That's generous, ” Merlin said then as Arthur's head lolled and fell forward, he checked his pulse. “Get some sleep, ” he whispered then looked around warily silently praying. Merlin had a very bad feeling as he looked up at the moon. He went to Arthur ’s side, shaking him gently . “W e need to get moving, ” Arthur barely opened his eyes, and Merlin shook him again. “Arthur . We've wasted enough time.” The sun was just coming up when they stop to rest again. Merlin helped Arthur of f the horse and lowered him down to the ground up against a rock. He nodded toward the view of the lake below . “Avalon. W e'll get there, ” Merlin said and a moment later the horses whinnied and spooked taking of f. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he shouted but they were gone. “Hello, Emrys, ” Mor gana’ s voice came from behind him, and he turned around. Mor gana’ s eyes flash and he was thrown across the clearing. Arthur instinctively reached for his sword, but it was not there. Mor gana approached him like a predator stalking her prey . “What a joy it is to see you, Arthur . Look at you…not so tall and mighty now, ” she gave him a smug smile, “Y ou may have won the battle, but you've lost the war . You're going to die by Mordred's hand. But don't worry, my dear brother, I won't let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you until the wolves gor ge on your carcass and bathe in your blood.” “No, the time for all this bloodshed is over, ” Merlin said, and Mor gana spun around standing to face him. “I blame myself for what you've become...but this has to end.” “Please, as if you can stop me, Merlin. Besides, it is too late, ” Mor gana smiled, “Arthur is dying. Y our beloved king cannot be saved no matter what you do to me.” “No!” Merlin said, his eyes darkening with rage and desperation. “Poor Emrys…with all your magic, you have still failed Arthur…failed Camelot.” Mor gana glared at him, her voice sharp as a blade, “Y our decisions brought us here. Y ou chose to sacrifice everyone else for the man you love.” Mor gana relaxed her shoulders and let out a sigh, “Ironic isn’ t it…that your obsession with protecting my brother will end in his death despite all you have done to prevent it. Merlin met Arthur ’s pained gaze as the king shook his head. “Merlin—Merlin don’ t listen to her…Mor gana is wrong, ” Arthur said pleadingly, and Merlin gave him a ghost of a smile. “No, she’ s right, ” Merlin smiled sadly, and Arthur ’s eyes went wide, “I love you, Arthur . I cannot let you die…” “Merlin!” Arthur shouted. He watched Merlin’ s eyes turn bright gold as he lunged forward wrapping a startled Mor gana in his embrace. T ilting his head back, he uttered a spell that had her screaming at the top of her lungs as they were trapped in a swirling wind. “Merlin, no!” Arthur tried to get to his feet, but he was too weak. He could only watch in horror as the vortex became a twisted, writhing form of darkness and light…ripping what could only be magic from their very souls creating a wave of power that rolled outward from their cores. A wave that washed over the land and hit Arthur full force then everything went black… Destiny Be Damned “My Lord, ” Arthur struggled to open his eyes as he heard a familiar voice. “Arthur…you’re alive, Merlin saved you, ” Percival said his huge hands trembling as he gently shook the king. “Merlin, ” Arthur said softly, “Merlin!” he shouted gripping Percival’ s arm. “Where is he?” he asked trying to see past his knight, but Percival was using his body to keep Arthur from seeing the aftermath of whatever Merlin had done to save him. “Let me up…let me go!” “Sire, don’ t…Arthur, he’s—he’ s gone, ” Percival choked on the words, “They are both gone.” “No!” Arthur said shoving the knight aside with surprising strength considering he had been on the ver ge of death. He pushed himself up of f the ground. Stumbling forward, he landed on his knees next to Merlin’ s motionless body . “Merlin, no, you cannot leave me. I was meant to die, not you. Dammit…Merlin, ” he shouted, dragging his friend into his arms and cradling him. “Merlin—Merlin please…come on. I need you!” Arthur pressed his fingers to Merlin’ s neck praying he would find a heartbeat but there was nothing. He pressed their foreheads together . A deep, guttural cry of grief came out of him startling Percival who hovered nearby uncertain of what to do for his king. “Merlin!” Arthur shouted shaking him, “Y ou idiot…why did you do this? Y ou did not have to die for me, I never wanted this. I am so sorry…so sorry, Merlin. I love you too…I never told you. I should have told you.” Percival swiped at his tears with the back of his hand, stunned by the king’ s words to Merlin. Everyone had known there was a unique and powerful bond between Arthur and Merlin, but to hear Arthur express it in such a way was heart-wrenching. Arthur held Merlin, rocking him gently, his hand splayed wide across his chest. He shook his head tears streaming down his face. He spared a glance at Mor gana, his dead sister, and realized that he felt no anger only sadness and regret. He had let her down, failed her in every way imaginable. He failed her and he had failed Merlin. “I’m sorry—so sorry, ” Arthur choked drawing Merlin against him. He got his feet underneath him and stood up, lifting Merlin from the ground. Percival stepped forward to help him, but the king shook his head. “No, ” Arthur said then carried Merlin toward the lake. “Your Highness, ” Percival said, “Y ou cannot carry him…it’ s too far .” “I must get Merlin to A valon, the Sidhe will heal him…bring him back to me, ” Arthur said, his voice edged with determination. “I cannot lose him.” “Sire, look!” Percival said pointing up into the sky . Arthur looked up as the Great Dragon soared overhead. “My sword!” he bellowed as he gently lowered Merlin to the ground. The dragon circled once then landed in front of them his eyes focused on Merlin and only Merlin. “Merlin?” the dragon said, startling Arthur and Percival. “You can speak?” Arthur asked. “Yes, King Arthur, ” the dragon rumbled. “What do you want? What business do you have here?” “Merlin…he is dead.” “He—he gave his life for me. I do not know what he did. Mor gana…” “The witch is dead, ” the dragon growled. “Yes, magic…” The dragon bowed his head. “Y oung W arlock, I never meant for this…” he said, “This was not your destiny, Merlin.” Arthur stared at the massive creature and for some reason, he felt no fear . There was obviously something…a bond between him and Merlin that he clearly did not understand and at the moment he did not want to know . “Can you help him?” Arthur asked, desperation in his voice. “I cannot…perhaps if he still had his magic, but it is gone. His immortality is gone.” “Immortality?” Arthur asked, his mouth dropping open, “Y ou’re saying he was meant to live forever, and he gave it all up for me?” “Yes, King Arthur, ” the dragon said, “Y ou were meant to die, and Merlin was meant to live on, waiting for your return when Albion needed you most.” Arthur dropped to his knees next to Merlin and caressed his cheek. “Merlin, dammit, ” he choked on his breath and tears slid down his face again. “Y ou weren’ t supposed to die for me.” “There is nothing you can do, Great King, ” the dragon said, “Merlin is gone.” “What was that? What did he do?” Arthur asked. “The spell Merlin used to destroy the witch, it separated them both from their magic forcing it from their souls and casting it out over the land. It healed you, healed me…I was dying. It is why I was unable to come when Merlin called me.” “Called you?” Percival asked the question before Arthur could get it out. “Merlin is—was the last of his kind…the last of the Dragonlords. Like his father before him.” “His father? Balinor was Merlin’ s father?” Arthur asked, his eyes wide. “Yes, Arthur, ” the dragon said, “His gift was passed down to Merlin when he died.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “So many secrets…such a heavy burden he carried. And for what?” “For you, King Arthur .” “This cannot be. I cannot lose him…he’ s my friend!” “And yet it is done. Merlin made his choice. He chose to die for you.” “I did not ask for this. I would never…please, there must be someone who can bring him back.” “I am sorry, there is nothing that can be done. His magic is gone from his body .” Arthur lifted Merlin from the ground and looked up at the dragon. “If I can get him to Avalon, the Sidhe could heal him.” The dragon shook his head, “The Sidhe are powerful, but even they cannot bring Merlin back. I am truly sorry, Arthur . Merlin is gone. W ithout his magic…” “Then bring it back!” Arthur shouted. “It has been returned to where it came from.” “Where is that?” “The earth…the sky…the sea, ” the dragon said, “Merlin was born with magic…he was magic. W ithout it, he cannot exist.” Arthur struggled to hold on to Merlin’ s body refusing Percival’ s continued attempts to help. He looked up at the dragon. “I am supposed to just let him go?” he asked. “I am afraid you have no other choice.” Arthur dropped to his knees again holding Merlin in his arms. His hands trembling. He shook his head slowly then pressed his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender kiss. He choked back a sob and gathered Merlin close. “Gods, I am so sorry, Merlin…please for give me, ” he gasped. “For give me…” he cried out, gently shaking his friend’ s lifeless body . The sound of an approaching rider had Percival drawing his sword. He crept slowly back in the direction they had come thinking it could be one of Mor gana’ s Saxons. Instead, a figure emer ged from the woods and stopped cold as he saw them. “Arthur!” Gwaine exclaimed and Percival nearly dropped his sword in shock, “Arthur, thank the Gods you’re alive.” “Gwaine, you were…you were dead, ” Percival stuttered. “Yes, and then I wasn’ t, ” Gwaine grinned, but as he came closer, he saw who Arthur was holding in his arms. “Merlin…Merlin, no, no, no, ” he choked stumbling forward and dropping to his knees beside his best friends. “What—what happened?” he asked. “Merlin…” Arthur choked, unable to get the words out. “Merlin’ s magic was released, ” the dragon responded instead, and Gwaine barely looked at him, “It healed me and apparently brought you back to life, Sir Gwaine.” “Dammit, Merlin, I knew it…I knew you were special, ” Gwaine said, his shoulders vibrating as tears pooled in his eyes, “Y ou cannot be dead.” “It’s all my fault, ” Arthur whispered shaking his head. “Mor gana?” Gwaine asked. “Dead, ” Percival said. “Merlin killed her, and he destroyed himself in the process. For me.” He smiled sadly as he tenderly stroked Merlin’ s face then smoothed his dark hair . “I will honor you, Merlin. I will be the king you saw in me all along…I will do it for you…” He closed his eyes tightly against the tears and shook his head. “Merlin…” he sobbed and Gwaine reached over to place a comforting hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “Arthur, ” Percival said, “Should we take Merlin home now?” Arthur looked up at him then the dragon and shook his head. “No, Merlin is magic. I will not see him burn on a funeral pyre in the square. W e will take him to the lake. Something deep inside me says that is where he belongs.” “Gwaine and I will round up the horses and take you there, ” Percival nodded then he and Gwaine headed back into the woods. “You are right, Arthur, ” the dragon said, “A valon is where Merlin belongs.” “You said there was a prophecy that I would return, and he would be waiting for me.” “That is true.” “Then it is possible he could return as I would have. I will wait for him, ” Arthur said, his eyes filled with intense emotion. “Arthur…” the dragon shook his head. “I will wait for him!” “Very well, Great King.” Arthur looked at Merlin again and nodded, “I will wait for you, Merlin. As long as it takes.” The sky was a blazing fire, the sun was setting over the Lake of A valon as Merlin’ s body was laid out on a bed of reeds, greenery, and flowers in a wooden boat. Arthur stood on the shore with his sword in hand, the sword Merlin had made for him. For ged in a dragon’ s breath… Kilgharrah told him the truth about its creation and its purpose. Merlin had given him the sword when he needed it most, helped him to find his confidence again…to believe in himself when all things seemed hopeless. He held it reverently, the blade glowing in the light of the sunset. “Arthur, ” Gwaine said, looking at him intently, “Ready?” Arthur approached the boat and looked down at Merlin, “I will see you again, Merlin.” He brushed his hand along the side of his face then leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s. He stepped back and after Gwaine and Percival said their goodbyes, they pushed the boat of f the shore then the three of them watched it drift out on the current. The Great Dragon flew overhead swooping down to set the boat on fire and Arthur ’s stood there watching it burn, feeling like his heart was shattered. Not even the pull of Camelot and the longing to see Guinevere again could make him leave that spot at that moment. His Merlin was gone…the other half of his soul. He felt the pang of regret and loss, but more than that he longed to be able to tell Merlin what he truly meant to him. No one would ever be able to fill the void he left behind. Percival and Gwaine were reluctant to leave him alone, but finally walked back to their camp and the warmth of the fire, and Arthur was left to his grief watching the boat burn and vanish beneath the water ’s surface. “Arthur, ” a woman’ s voice called out, seeming to come from the lake, “Arthur, do not worry . I shall watch over him for he was my love as well.” “Who are you?” he asked. “I am Freya, Arthur, Merlin saved me, he loved me, and he loved you, My King.” Arthur smiled, his eyes shining in the waning light. “T ell him…” he said his voice breaking. “He knows, Arthur…he has always known.” “Thank you.” “Live well and honor his sacrifice, Arthur .” “I will, I swear, ” he nodded, “Freya, will he ever return?” “That I do not know, ” she said. “Of course, ” Arthur said softly then slowly turned and walked toward the camp. His wound may have been healed, but he still felt like he had a gaping hole in the middle of his chest. A hole that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Gwaine looked up at him as he approached, and Arthur could see the haunted look in his eyes. He had died and come back and his best friend who brought him back was dead. They would never get over the loss of Merlin. No one in Camelot would. “I’m not even going to ask if you’re all right, ” Gwaine said as Arthur sat down across the fire from him. “I know you’re not because I’m definitely not, and Merlin…” his voice trailed of f as tears pooled in his eyes and he ran a hand through his long hair . Arthur gave him a sad smile and nodded, “One thing…when I went to the Perilous Lands, the man on the bridge called me Courage and said that in order to complete my quest I would need Strength and Magic…now I know what he meant. I needed you and Merlin…Strength and Magic.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh and nodded wiping the tears from his eyes. “Part of me wishes I was still dead…I would gladly die so Merlin could live.” “No, Gwaine…” Percival said softly . “Merlin would want you to live, ” Arthur said as he added wood to the fire. “The selfless idiot, ” Gwaine shook his head his lips parting in a fond smile. “Gwaine, you took Merlin somewhere…before the battle, ” Arthur said and Gwaine nodded. “Yes, he was searching for something. I knew something was wrong. W e went to the V alley of the Fallen Kings, to a cave. Along the way, we were attacked by bandits, and Merlin was knocked to the ground. He cried out for me, his voice filled with such fear…I had never seen him so afraid, so uncertain.” “A cave?” Percival asked, “Y ou mean the Crystal Cave…” “You know of it?” “Only the stories. It was said that the place was magical…actually the birthplace of all magic.” “Why did Merlin go there?” Arthur asked. “He must have been looking for magic, ” Gwaine said, “The panic he felt when the bandits attacked, he must have lost his magic and needed to get it back before he could join you at Camlann, Arthur . It is the only thing that makes sense. I asked him how he would get back to Camelot without me to protect him, he told me that if he found what he was looking for, he would be perfectly safe.” “Gods, I was such a fool, ” Arthur shook his head, “Before he left, he told me that he had vital supplies to obtain for Gaius…I didn’ t believe him.” Running his fingers through his hair he let out a pained sound. “I all but called him a coward…all because he would not be coming with me. I was so stupid. I should have known…” “You can’ t blame yourself, Arthur, ” Gwaine said. “The look in his eyes…I really hurt him. I should have realized he was in trouble, but I was too focused on my own selfish needs.” “Why didn’ t he just tell us?” Gwaine asked shaking his head, “W e were his best friends. W e would have protected him.” “I asked him that, ” Arthur said, “And he told me he was afraid that I would chop of f his head. That he never wanted to put me in a position to have to choose between Camelot’ s laws and him. T o be forced to lie to my father for him.” “You would have done so gladly, ” Percival frowned, “Y ou would never have let any harm come to him.” “It is my fault for not telling him what he meant to me.” “You should have knighted him, ” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “Sir Merlin, ” Percival huf fed a laugh. Gwaine fell silent staring into the flames. Arthur poked at the fire with a stick. Merlin’ s constant prattle used to fill the silence. Now, it was just silence…an overwhelming, dark, and cold silence. The king closed his eyes reaching into his memories for moments to fill the void. He chuckled softly and shook his head. “Merlin, ” Arthur said, tears glinting in his eyes even as he was overcome with mirth. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, fearing his friend was crossing the line into madness. “Merlin…the old sorcerer was Merlin. I just remembered when he was captured and brought in front of my father . He called him a stupid arrogant old tyrant right to his face. He saved Guinevere from the pyre, almost getting himself burned at the stake instead, and the entire time I thought he was in the tavern.” Gwaine chuckled, “Y ou know he was rarely ever in the tavern.” “I realize that now . All the times I thought he was drinking himself stupid he was using magic to save me and Camelot.” Percival returned then, having gone to gather more wood. He dropped it on the ground and sat down. “Y ou’re telling me, that old sorcerer in the battle was Merlin?” he asked. “Yes, Dragoon, he was Merlin…and the Dolma, ” Arthur laughed. “The Dolma?” Gwaine asked. “The sorceress at the Cauldron of Arianrhod where we took Guinevere to free her of Morgana’ s dark magic. Merlin could not use his magic in front of me and he could not be Dragoon for obvious reasons, so he became an old woman.” “Merlin turned himself into a woman?” Percival asked raising an eyebrow . “Not sure if he actually was a woman or just looked like one, but he was convincing, ” Arthur smiled, “No wonder The Dolma got upset when we nearly for got Merlin.” “You for got him, ” Gwaine said. “Not exactly, well yes, but in my own defense, my mind was on Guinevere and getting her back to Camelot. I came so close to losing her . Merlin knew even before I did that something was wrong with her . He always knew .” “Because he was a servant, ” Percival said. “Servants are invisible, they see things that others miss, ” Gwaine shrugged. “That and he knew Guinevere well, she was his first friend in Camelot, ” Arthur shook his head. “So many things make sense now that didn’ t before. How did I not realize that he had magic?” “I knew there was something about him. I even remember the man at the bridge calling him Magic, but I didn’ t put it all together until now, ” Gwaine frowned. “How many times?” Percival asked, “How many times did Merlin save you?” “I don’ t know, ” Arthur said then tossed his stick on the fire, “I guess now I’ll never know .” “I can’ t wait to get back to Camelot and drink myself into oblivion, ” Gwaine said. “Yeah, ” Percival nodded. “Gaius, ” Arthur shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes tightly, “How am I going to tell Gaius…Merlin was like a son to him. He is going to be devastated.” “I will tell him, ” Gwaine said. “No, it is my responsibility . I will tell him. Gods…Hunith…” “Merlin’ s mother . I could go to Ealdor, Arthur, ” Gwaine said. “This is going to kill her . Merlin was her entire world, ” Arthur dropped his head into his hands. “We will return to Camelot with you, Sire, then Gwaine and I can go to Ealdor to inform her.” Arthur ’s shoulders vibrated as a desperate and anguished cry slipped out before he could stop it. He brought his arms up hands clasped behind his neck as the dam broke and he came apart at the seams unable to stop the deluge. Gwaine got to his feet and moved to Arthur ’s side, “Arthur, it’s all right…just let it out.” Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions under control. “I can’ t—can’ t do this. I am the king…I should be stronger, ” he said as he rocked forward closing his eyes tightly . Gwaine wrapped his arm around Arthur ’s neck patting his chest. “You loved Merlin, Arthur, no one can expect you to hold all this in and not lose it. Better to let it out now when it is just us, yeah?” Arthur leaned into Gwaine, “I need him back…I want Merlin back.” “I know, ” Gwaine said meeting Percival’ s gaze, “W e will find a way to get through this.” “Drunken stupor?” Arthur asked. “If that’ s what it takes, ” Percival said, and Arthur attempted a smile. “He wasn’ t supposed to die…not for me…not like this.” “Merlin would have done anything for you, Arthur . You know that. Knowing now that he had magic, I am certain it was him that night in the square. He escaped from the dungeon and used magic to extinguish all the flames so he could slip by us in the darkness and get to you when you were dying from the poison. There is no other explanation. Merlin saved you that night then somehow made his way back to his cell without us noticing.” “I gave all the credit to Gaius, ” Arthur said rolling his eyes, “Gods, Merlin…” “The point is, Merlin would always choose death if it meant that you would live on to fulfill your destiny . He saw a chance and took it.” “Mor gana…she was my sister and yet I feel nothing for her .” “After all she did to you and your people, it is understandable, ” Percival said. “Merlin said he blamed himself for what she had become. Mor gana told him it was his decisions that brought us here…he had been so focused on protecting me that he brought about the very thing he was trying to prevent. When he and I went to the Disir, Merlin betrayed his own heart. He said I should not allow magic back in Camelot believing that Mordred would die. He wanted him to die because he knew he was destined to kill me.” “That is the way with prophecy, ” Percival said, “Just because it is foretold does not mean it will come to be.” “Mordred lived and Merlin was forced to remain in darkness hiding who he truly was, ” Arthur said, “I knew there was tension between the two of them, I had no idea why .” Gwaine frowned, “Leon and I interrupted something between them in the corridor one day they were in heated conversation. Mordred was clearly furious, he stormed of f. Merlin just said it was nothing, but we did not believe him.” Arthur closed his eyes for a moment then tilted his head back looking up at the night sky . “The burden Merlin was forced to carry on his shoulders. He must have felt so alone all these years…isolated. He had only Gaius and the damn dragon to turn to.” “Sire, you should try to get some sleep. W e can head back to Camelot at first light, ” Percival said. Arthur nodded, wiped his eyes then let out a ragged breath. Gwaine stood up, getting his bedroll laying it out next to the fire and Arthur laid down on it. It took hours for him to finally fall asleep. And in his dreams, he saw Merlin smiling. “Merlin, ” Arthur said in his sleep. Remember me, Arthur…r emember me and I will always be. Arthur jolted upright pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. Gwaine was awake keeping watch for Saxons that might still be in the area. “Arthur?” “I’m all right, just…” “What?” “Merlin…he spoke to me in my dream.” Gwaine smiled, “Y ou see, he will always be with you.” “I know he will be.” “The sun is coming up, Y our Highness, we should return to Camelot, ” Percival said as he got up to pack their few belongings and take care of the horses. “Ready?” Gwaine asked placing a hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “No, ” Arthur said getting to his feet anyway, “The thought of returning to Camelot without Merlin…it’ s just so hard to imagine not having him there. He became such an important part of the kingdom. People loved him.” “Then it is our job to make sure they never for get him and the sacrifices he made, ” Gwaine smiled. Arthur nodded his lips parting in a soft smile, “Let’ s go home.” “My Lady, ” Leon said as he burst into the council chambers, “The king…he has been seen approaching Camelot. He is with Gwaine and Percival. He is alive!” “Oh, thank God, ” Gwen gasped then followed Leon out, heading for the courtyard. She descended the steps just as Arthur rode through the gates coming toward her with Gwaine and Percival riding just a step behind. She watched the gates fully expecting to see Merlin. He had done it…he had saved Arthur . When Merlin did not appear, she met Arthur ’s gaze and her heart dropped. “No, no, not Merlin, ” she cried, shaking her head. Arthur dismounted and she immediately flew into his arms. He held her tightly burying his face in her dark hair to hide his grief from the people. She cupped the back of his head holding him, feeling every shudder…every barely restrained sob. “Arthur, ” Gwen said, “Shh, my love. Y ou are home…you are alive.” “Merlin…” Arthur choked. “He saved you.” “Guinevere, he was a sorcerer .” “I know, ” Gwen smiled through her tears, drawing back to frame his face with her hands, “I know he had magic. He was always by your side, protecting you. What happened, Arthur?” “Mor gana caught up to us, she…Merlin killed her, she is dead. He brought us peace, but it cost him his life. In destroying her, he destroyed himself. It wasn’ t supposed to be…it was not his destiny . I was meant to die, Guinevere.” “But you did not, and I am so happy and grateful. I could not live without you, Arthur . Merlin gave his life for you and for that he will be honored.” “I want him back.” “I know, so do I, Arthur . Come inside, let’ s get you some food and you can rest.” Arthur shook his head, “There is something I must do first. I need to tell Gaius. And I need to write a letter to Hunith. Gwaine and Percival are going to ride to Ealdor to…to tell her that her son is dead.” “Sire, ” Leon said, “I will go. Gwaine and Percival need food and rest as well. I will leave immediately .” “Very well, ” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her…tell her that I am sorry . Gods, I should go…I should be there. Merlin was my best friend. I should be the one…” Leon put a hand on Arthur's shoulder, “You are clearly exhausted, My Lord, let me do this for you. I will bring Hunith back with me then you can speak with her in person.” “All right, Leon, thank you. T ake a few men with you. I do not want you going alone.” “We will leave within the hour, Arthur, ” Leon gave a nod then watched as Arthur climbed the steps with Gwen’ s arms around him. Percival and Gwaine gave Leon a grateful nod and then followed. Hearing the commotion in the square, Gaius was just coming around the corner when Gwen and Arthur came up the stairs and Arthur stopped when he saw him. The old physician looked past them and shook his head. “Where is Merlin?” he asked. “Gaius…” Arthur said his voice soft, eyes shining with tears, “Merlin…” “No, no, it can’ t be, ” Gaius gasped, “Not Merlin…” “I’m so sorry, Gaius. He saved me. Merlin—Merlin is gone…he’ s dead.” Gaius stumbled back a step to lean against the wall, clutching his chest. Gwaine and Arthur both rushed forward to steady him and ease him down onto a bench. His hands were shaking violently as he closed his eyes. “What—what happened?” he asked. Arthur crouched down in front of him and grasped his shoulder . “Mor gana caught up to us. Merlin did something, I am not exactly sure what, but Kilgharrah said that his magic and Morgana’ s was returned to the earth the sea, and the sky . Merlin gave up his magic and his immortality…for me. I am so sorry, Gaius. It was not supposed to happen like this. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gaius shook his head, “I should have known. Merlin always said he would gladly die for you, Arthur . He loved you.” “I know—I know he did. He told me, ” Arthur said, gently squeezing Gaius’ shoulder . “Did he suf fer?” Gaius asked his voice breaking. Arthur shook his head, “It all happened so fast. I tried to get to him, but this wave of magic…it washed over the land. It healed me and Kilgharrah and it brought Gwaine back to life. God knows what else it did. I have never seen anything like it, Gaius.” “I had no idea Merlin even knew of such a spell, ” Gaius said. “Leon is riding out with some men within the hour to Ealdor .” “I should go with them, ” Gaius said, “Hunith trusted me to protect her son and I failed.” “No, Gaius, it was I who failed, ” Arthur said, “Not you. I should have known long ago…I should have seen the burden Merlin carried. No one is to blame but me.” “Arthur, it was I who ur ged Merlin to hide his magic. I wanted to keep him safe.” “And you did, Gaius. Y ou took him in, and you were there for him when no one else was. You treated him like a son, and I know he was grateful for that. I know the truth now, about his magic, about Balinor . I for gave him, I accepted him, and I told him as much before he died. My only regret is I did not tell him how much he meant to me, and how much I loved him. For Merlin, I am going to lift the ban on magic. And while I know it is of little consolation, I want to honor him and his sacrifice. Merlin will never be for gotten, and the people will know who he truly was and what he meant to their king.” “Thank you, Arthur, ” Gaius nodded, tears in his eyes, “Merlin wanted so badly for you to see him for who he was, and you should know that it pained him to keep his secret, from you especially .” “Merlin once asked me if I would call him a hero if he died. I should have told him then, but I was a fool. I failed to appreciate him. He was always there for me. Magic aside, he was the one person I knew I could always count on. He was a hero in every way .” “For what it is worth, Sire, Merlin felt the same. Even though he kept his secret, he did trust you. He gave all that he was for you.” “I know, ” Arthur nodded then looked at Gwaine and Percival, “Could you two please take Gaius to his chambers then once he is settled get some rest yourselves.” “Yes, Sire, ” Percival nodded. “If you need me, ” Gwaine said to Arthur . “I’ll be all right, go now, ” Arthur nodded then watched the three men walk away before turning to Guinevere. She stepped into his embrace kissing him tenderly . “Come, Arthur let’ s get you cleaned up and fed then you will rest, ” Gwen smiled cupping his cheek, “I am so glad you are home.” “So am I, ” Arthur said then let her lead him toward their chambers. Truth and Honor Arthur stood at the wall where he and Merlin had stood so many times. The place where he had said goodbye to his servant before he left to return to Ealdor all those years ago to save his village from Kanen and his bandits. He smiled as he remembered walking across the grass, acting like children pushing and bumping shoulders as they took of f running… friends…best friends. The sun was just coming up, Arthur had been awake all night. Every time he closed his eyes to sleep he saw Merlin dying over and over again. He missed him, his laugh…but then Merlin had not really laughed in so long. How had he not noticed? It was not just the magic Arthur had been oblivious to, but the loneliness, pain, and loss. The overwhelming weight of their shared destiny had been carried by Merlin alone. Arthur bowed his head. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a piece of cloth, faded blue, shabby yet beautiful. Merlin’ s scarf…he had found it in his room, it was the one his servant had been wearing the night he nearly died after throwing himself between Arthur and the Doracha. It still smelled like wood, herbs, and Merlin. The king smiled clutching it in his hand as tears slid down his face. “Arthur…” Arthur flinched, turning to see Gwaine standing behind him his face etched with worry and understanding. Arthur shook his head. “The queen sent me to look for you, ” Gwaine said. “You found me, ” Arthur responded, his voice sounding hollow even to his own ears. “You’ve been up here all night?” “No, just a couple of hours. Couldn’ t sleep.” “Gwen said you never returned to your chambers.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I sat in his room for hours. Been wandering the castle most of the night. Merlin was such a presence here…everything just feels wrong without him. He touched so many lives. How are we supposed to just go on without him? It’ s not right.” “I heard Gaius is staying in a room at the inn, ” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “He is heartbroken. I fear for his health.” “And you?” Gwaine asked. Arthur met his gaze and shook his head, “How did I not see it? He was always there for me. How did I not see that he had grown so callous, so focused on keeping me safe? Gwaine, he changed, and I missed it. I should have been there for him. Maybe…maybe if I had, he would still be here…instead of lying on the bottom of that godforsaken lake.” “Arthur, you are not the only one who failed Merlin, ” Gwaine said, “He was my best friend too, and I did not see it either . I was so focused on my duties as a Knight of Camelot, drinking in the tavern, gambling, and pretty girls. I should have been there for him too, and I wasn’ t.” “Yet it was you he turned to for help when he lost his magic, and when Gaius was kidnapped, because I refused to listen. Lancelot…you…he could not come to me for help because I was an arrogant prat who refused to take his worries and his warnings seriously . He was forced to fight his battles in secret.” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur, folding his arms across his chest as he turned and leaned back against the wall. “Why didn’ t you listen to him?” “Because I was a fool. I took him for granted. I could not see past my own pride to accept that Merlin was far more intelligent and discerning than I was. He was always better at observing and reading people. People like Agravaine…Merlin knew he was working against me. He tried to warn me, and I did not listen.” Arthur shook his head fighting his emotions, “I have a sick feeling that Merlin was forced to deal with him when it should have been me.” “What do you mean?” Gwaine asked. “Looking back now, when we were in the tunnels near Ealdor, Merlin went back to create a distraction, to give us time to escape. I think Merlin killed him.” Arthur leaned forward resting his hands on the top of the wall and shook his head. “How many times was Merlin forced to kill for me? His innocence was lost…his morals became blurred, his smile faded, and I failed to notice.” “We all did, Arthur . Merlin was very adept at hiding, not just his magic, but his pain and fear as well. When he found me in Engerd and asked for my help when you had gone to the Perilous Lands, I saw then how devoted to you he was…how far he would go to make sure you survived whatever threat you faced.” “The Doracha, ” Arthur said softly, “Merlin threw himself at them. He was terrified, but he did not even hesitate…you know he of fered to take my place, to sacrifice himself. If Lancelot had not stepped through first, Merlin would have.” “I guess now we know how he survived their attack…his magic and his immortality, ” Gwaine huf fed and shook his head. “Y ou think Lancelot knew about his magic?” “I am certain of it. Y ou weren’ t here when he first came to Camelot. He killed the Grif fin that was threatening the kingdom, now I know Merlin must have had a hand in it. Gaius said the only way it could be killed was with magic and the two of them were thick as thieves from the beginning.” “Makes sense.” “So many things make sense now . Falling branches, wild winds coming out of nowhere, bandits falling of f horses for no reason or getting tripped up, the impenetrable forest, the immortal army just exploding into nothing.” “The damn W yverns, ” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin was a Dragonlord.” Arthur nodded, “Merlin, found and lost his father within a day and I had no idea. He hid his grief, buried it, and was still by my side when I faced the dragon. He stopped Kilgharrah from continuing his attack on Camelot. Gods, I was an idiot. I could not figure out why Merlin was so upset over the death of Balinor, a man he had only just met. I still remember the look on his face when he turned around…” “Arthur, you can stand out here and continue to mentally flog yourself for mistakes that can never be fixed, or you can pull yourself together and do what you promised. Honor Merlin’ s memory…free magic so people like him can finally come out of the shadows and stop living in fear . That is the best way you can begin to make amends.” “You’re right, Gwaine, ” Arthur nodded, “Thank you.” “No problem.” “You are a good man and a loyal friend. I know I gave you a hard time over the years, but I want you to know that I appreciate all you have done for me, for Merlin, for the kingdom.” Gwaine smiled and shrugged, “I wouldn’ t have it any other way .” “Are we still on for that drunken stupor?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Absolutely, we will have a few…or a dozen for Merlin too.” “That night in the tavern, before Camlann, when Merlin took all my money, ” Arthur chuckled, “Do you think he cheated?” “Oh, most definitely, ” Gwaine laughed, “I know I would have if I had his gift.” “Will we ever know all he did?” “Doubtful, but then it doesn’ t really matter . Merlin was a hero.” “Would you join me for breakfast, Gwaine?” “I’d be honored, ” he smiled. They turned and walked across the grass. It was just before sunset when the bonfire was lit outside the walls of the city . People came from the lower town, outlying villages, and even neighboring kingdoms. Arthur stood beside the fire with Guinevere on his arm staring into the flames as they grew higher and higher reaching into the sky . Knights, squires, servants, merchants, and peasants all gathered around, little children brought flowers and precious stones, placing them on top of a low wall that stood close to the flames. “Arthur, ” Gwen choked back a sob and he wrapped his arms around her, “It’s so beautiful.” “If only Merlin could see this, ” he said fighting his own tears. Merlin deserved this honor and more. He was stunned when people began to come forward telling stories about Merlin, his good deeds, his courage, his strength, and his loyalty . Some told stories of how he had saved the life of a loved one, and others had funny stories about Merlin’ s antics and his clumsiness. The cook told everyone how Merlin always helped her in the kitchen even though he had his own duties. She admitted giving him extra sweets hoping to put some meat on his bones and everyone laughed tearfully . It was at that moment when Arthur saw Hunith step into the circle of light, her eyes red from crying, her hands trembling. Leon was beside her, his hand on her elbow as they approached. Arthur let go of Gwen, moving toward Merlin’ s mother then gathered her into his arms. “Arthur, ” Hunith gasped and broke down crying again. “I’m so sorry, Hunith, for give me, ” Arthur choked as she drew back, cupping his cheek and shaking her head. “There is nothing to for give, Arthur, ” she smiled through her tears, “Merlin…my boy, he loved you more than anything. I do not blame you.” “It should have been me. Merlin should be here.” “No, Arthur…Merlin’ s magic was for you. He was born to serve you.” “He told me as much, ” Arthur laughed softly even as tears slid down his face. “Merlin gave his life so you could be the great king he always knew you would be, ” Hunith said then glanced over at Gwen, “Camelot will thrive, and Merlin’ s death will not be in vain.” “I am going to lift the ban on magic, Hunith, so no one will have to live in fear the way Merlin did…the way you did, always trying to keep him safe. I am just sorry I did not do it sooner . I let my father ’s hate, fear, and indoctrination blind me to the truth about sorcery . I can see now that it is not magic that is inherently evil, that evil is in the hearts of man. Merlin taught me that.” “All that matters is what you do from now forward, Great King, ” Hunith said, “Remember Merlin, remember his sacrifices and how much he loved you. He may be gone, but he can still guide you.” She looked around at all the faces and smiled, wiping her eyes, “Thank you all, thank you for coming to honor my son’ s memory .” Holding on to Hunith’ s hand, Arthur took a deep breath, he looked at her then at Guinevere and his knights. “Many of you know that Merlin and I did not get of f to a great start, ” Arthur said with a slight grin, and many people chuckled and nodded, “The fool wasn’ t even in Camelot a day and he chose to challenge the Prince of Camelot, called me out for bullying my servant. I found myself strangely drawn to this peasant with a death wish. There was just something about Merlin that I couldn’ t put my finger on. I am ashamed to admit that I challenged him to a mace fight in the market, not one of my finest moments. Merlin nearly beat me too, though he admitted to me very recently that he used magic to do so. Then unbeknownst to anyone, he used it again to save my life and ended up as my manservant as a reward.” Arthur laughed softly, looking around at his people. “Having Merlin in my life changed me, made me a better man, a better prince, and ultimately the king that I am today . Despite the dif ference in our status, he never once treated me differently . He saw through my façade, let me know all of my flaws and just what he thought of my title and my arrogance, ” he grinned, rolling his eyes as he glanced up at the night sky for a moment. The people laughed and Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions in check before he could continue. He let go of Hunith’ s hand taking a few steps forward as she nodded reassuringly, and in that gesture, Arthur found the strength he needed to say what was truly in his heart. “Merlin, lived in fear every day, battled foes we never knew about and some that we did. Camelot would not be standing if it weren’ t for his courage, strength, and tenacity . Merlin was forced to hide who he truly was for far too long. I myself only found out about his magic when he told me after the battle at Camlann. At first, I was angry and hurt that he had not trusted me with his greatest secret, but I realized that he only did it to protect me and the people he loved, the people of this kingdom and beyond. He gave all of himself, risking life and limb and even his humanity for all of us. I hope I can be the king Merlin saw in me, even when I was, as he so loved to point out, an arrogant, pompous dollop head, ” he grinned, and everyone laughed. “Don’ t forget Clotpole, ” Gwaine shouted. “And cabbage head, ” Leon laughed. “Royal prat, ” Percival chuckled. “Yes, how could I for get, ” Arthur smirked. “I want to thank each and every one of you for coming here tonight. It means a lot to Merlin’ s mother, to me, to Gaius, and all his friends. Merlin will not be for gotten. He will live on in all of us. I know I will never for get him, and I will never stop missing him. He was the other half of my soul, and his loss has left a gaping hole that will never be filled.” “Two sides of the same coin, ” Hunith smiled through her tears then brought Arthur ’s hand up to her lips. Arthur nodded and hugged her tightly . The rest of the evening was filled with tears, laughter, food, drink, and endless stories. Hunith went to be with Gaius as the old physician lingered silently on the edge of the firelight clearly struggling with his grief. Gwen excused herself and Leon accompanied her back into the castle, but not before she made sure that Arthur knew he did not have to follow until he was ready . Arthur was stunned to see Princess Mithian walking toward him, tears in her eyes as she shook her head. “Arthur, I am so deeply sorry, I know what Merlin meant to you. He was a good man.” “Mithian, I didn’ t expect that you would travel all this way to be here. Thank you for coming.” “Merlin was special to me as well, Arthur . I did not say anything at the time because obviously did not want to get Merlin into trouble, but I know for certain that it was he who caused the tremor that saved all of us. I caught a glimpse of his eyes as he uttered words of a spell then struck the ground with his hand.” Arthur nodded, “Unexplainable things happened around Merlin all the time and I was too stupid to see it.” “Not stupid, Arthur, ” Mithian said then kissed his cheek, “I will be forever grateful to Merlin and to you for all you did. My father and I, we owe you both our lives.” “How is King Rodor?” “He is doing as well as can be expected for a man of his age. He sends his regards.” “I hope you will stay on a few days, ” Arthur said, “I would love to talk to you about lifting the ban on magic and get your input. I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and your people.” “I would be delighted, ” Mithian said, “I should like to get to know your beautiful queen better, as the last time we were here…” “Yes, Guinevere will be happy to have a woman to talk to.” “It is good to see you again, Arthur . I just wish it were under better circumstances. I can see how hard it is for you to lose Merlin.” “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “I miss him.” “I know, ” she said then clasped his hands, “If there is anything I can do for you, please ask. “Thank you, Mithian, ” Arthur smiled, kissing her cheek then she moved toward the fire. He glanced over and spotted Queen Annis riding in with her knights. He approached them as she slid to the ground and reached for his hand. “Arthur, ” Annis said, “I heard what happened. I am so deeply sorry .” “Thank you for coming, Annis, ” Arthur smiled. “Of course, ” the queen said, “I want you to know that I am behind you on lifting the ban on magic. It is time for the ways of Uther Pendragon to change. Magic should be accepted again and people able to live in peace, without fear . “I appreciate that, Annis, ” Arthur said then motioned toward the food. Y ou have had a long journey please eat, drink, and I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and Princess Mithian.” “Ah yes, I am starving, ” the queen winked at him then waved to her knights to take care of the horses and joined in the festivities. Arthur walked amongst the people and then returned to the bonfire. He added more wood as Gwaine came to stand next to him. “I always knew that Merlin was well loved, ” Gwaine smiled, “But this is just amazing.” “I wish he could see it, ” Arthur said swiping at his eyes. “Maybe he can.” “I want him back.” “So do I, Arthur…so do I.” “Are you all right?” Gwaine shrugged, “I’m alive.” “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “And I am glad of that. I could not have gotten through this without your help, thank you.” “You’re welcome.” “Come on let’ s get a drink, ” Arthur said, draping his arm around Gwaine’ s shoulders. The days that followed were filled with council meetings, kingdom negotiations, and citizen concerns with the prospect of magic being allowed in Camelot again, some of whom had magic and were still afraid to use it openly . Arthur could not help but think about Merlin and how hard it must have been for him to hide, especially considering just how powerful he was. T o suppress his magic, to control it, and use it without being caught. “Arthur, ” Gwen said. “Yes?” “Do you want to talk about it…about Merlin?” Arthur shook his head, “I’m sorry .” “You do not have to apologize, Arthur…not to me.” “How did you handle it? When Gaius told you…” he asked, his voice trailing of f. “Merlin was your friend too. Y ou must have felt betrayed on some level, as I did.” Gwen sat down at the table, reaching out to take hold of his hand. “Gaius merely confirmed what I had already suspected. I knew Merlin would never have left your side unless there was something of vital importance. He loved you more than anything and anyone, Arthur . When I saw that old sorcerer on the clif fs and Gaius admitted to knowing who he was, I started to piece together the past. My father ’s miraculous recovery, all the times you were pulled back from the brink of death, the times I was saved from execution, so many things began to make sense once I added the element of magic. Merlin had magic.” “When he told me, ” Arthur said, “I reacted badly . I ordered him to leave me.” “And yet he didn’ t, ” Gwen smiled. “The way I treated him…I did not deserve his loyalty, his friendship…he should have hated me.” Gwen laughed softly, and Arthur looked at her curiously . “Arthur, you for get I was there in the beginning. I saw how you and Merlin were instantly drawn to each other . Tell me, that day on the training field, when you two first met…if Merlin had been any other peasant, what would you have done?” Arthur nodded and smiled, “I would have hauled him in front of my father . Probably made sure he was banished or at the very least locked up for a month.” “And yet you didn’ t. Not even when he stood his ground in the market the next day and fought you. Arthur, you, and Merlin were always meant to stand together, side by side as equals.” “That’ s just it though, Guinevere, I never treated him as an equal. Even that last day, before I left for Camlann when he told me that he would not be coming with me, I called him a coward. I am ashamed of the way I belittled him, and I refused to listen when he tried to tell me that Agravaine was working against me. When Cedric was possessed by Sigan and countless other times. All the years he fought for me and for Camelot and received nothing, asked for nothing.” “Arthur, Merlin served you, protected you, and guided you out of a strong sense of duty, destiny, and most of all out of love. I may be your wife and your queen, but I always knew there was a deep bond between the two of you that I could never hope to compete with. He loved you and you loved him, ” Gwen smiled taking hold of both his hands. Arthur shook his head and let out a breath, “I couldn’ t…” “But you did. I have known that ever since the night you risked everything to find the Mortaeus flower . To save the life of a young man you could not bear to lose. He became a part of you. I saw the look on your face when he fell to the floor after drinking that wine. You did not stop to think about station or status, all you cared about was Merlin. Everyone saw it and they were proud of you for doing what was good and right.” Arthur got up from his chair and walked to the windows looking out over the courtyard as the sun set, watching his people heading for their homes, to join their families around the hearth. He lowered his head, running his fingers through his blonde hair . “Arthur, you can talk to me. I will not judge you.” “I know, Guinevere, I am trying. It is just so hard because I kept these feelings buried for so long. I never allowed myself to…” his voice broke of f. Gwen got up moving to embrace him. She cupped his cheek and smiled. “Just say it, ” she whispered, “Say what is in your heart.” Arthur ’s eyes filled with tears, and he nodded, “I loved him, Guinevere…I loved him so much and I don’ t know how to be me without him at my side.” Gwen smiled, “I know, Arthur .” “How can you not feel betrayed?” “I have no right to feel betrayed. Y ou for get that I too know how it feels to love someone so deeply that you cannot be with.” “Lancelot, ” Arthur nodded lowering his gaze, “He was a better man than me.” “That is not true, Arthur . You were strong, noble, brave men who loved so fully . You both gave everything for Camelot and its people. I love you and I always will love Lancelot. Just as you will always love me and Merlin.” Arthur hugged her close, “I do love you my queen…my beautiful, understanding, and wise wife.” “Arthur, I have news, ” Gwen smiled brightly, “I wanted to wait to tell you when I was sure. Arthur, you are going to be a father…I am with child.” “Guinevere…” Arthur shook his head, his eyes wide, he let out a joyous cry and kissed her deeply . “That is wonderful!” “I wasn’ t certain how you would take the news with everything…I know it is a lot.” “I am going to be a father!” Arthur laughed. Gwen beamed up at him, stroking his cheek, “Y es, you are.” “I love you, Guinevere, so very much.” “I love you, Arthur .” “This is a new beginning, ” Arthur said with a slight nod, “Albion will live, and our child will be brought into a world of peace and prosperity . A world that I could not have achieved without Merlin. I need to find a way to honor him.” “Perhaps you could start by learning just how much he did for you…for me, and for Camelot.” “How do I even begin to do that?” Gwen smiled, “Start at the beginning…with Hunith. She is here in Camelot. And I believe that Gaius knows far more than he was ever able to reveal before.” “The Great Dragon…” Arthur said, and Gwen’ s eyes went wide with fear and confusion. “What does the dragon have to do with Merlin?” Arthur laughed, “Ah, yes, I guess I left that part out. The Great Dragon’ s name is Kilgharrah, and he is the one who told Merlin of our destiny . Do you remember when Merlin and I went in search of the Last Dragonlord to seek his help when Kilgharrah was attacking Camelot? Balinor was Merlin’ s father . When he died his gift was passed down to Merlin. Now that I look back, I think it was Merlin who released the dragon. The idiot.” “Arthur, the dragon is dead, isn’ t he?” “No, Merlin let me believe that I had mortally wounded him back then. The dragon was dying of old age though, and whatever Merlin did to destroy Mor gana it released a wave of magic over the land that not only healed me, but Kilgharrah as well, and it brought Gwaine back from the dead.” “Oh, the day before you returned?” Gwen asked her eyes going wide. “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “Merlin saved all that is precious to me when he ended Mor gana's reign of terror . He gave up his magic and his immortality for me.” “Immortality?” Gwen gasped. “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “I was meant to die, to return when Albion needed me most. Merlin was to live forever waiting for my return so he would be there to guide me and protect me as he did in this life.” “Oh, Arthur, ” Gwen said softly . “Now you can understand this guilt I feel. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gwen sat down hard on the chair and shook her head, “Arthur, if you were meant to die and one day return. Could that mean Merlin will one day return?” “I don’ t know . I need to find someone who can tell me. The dragon may be my only hope of finding out. Which means I need to find a way to bring him to me. I must talk to Gaius…or perhaps the Druids. Or I can speak to Merlin!” Arthur said, his eyes going wide. “How?” Gwen asked shaking her head. “The Horn of Cathbhadh, ” he said, “It is in the vaults. I could ride to the Great Stones of Nemeton and use it to summon Merlin.” “Are you certain that is wise, Arthur? Y ou remember what happened with your father .” “I will speak to Gaius, have him show me the proper way to do it, ” he looked at Gwen, “I love you. I am so happy about our child.” “Go, Arthur, ” she nodded and laughed, “Go speak with Gaius now .” “Are you sure, ” he asked. “I am sure. Y ou need to learn all you can about Merlin’ s sacrifice. I want our child to know him and all he did for us.” “I love you, ” Arthur said then kissed her tenderly before leaving their chambers. “My Lord, ” Gaius said as he opened the door to find Arthur standing on the other side his hands clasped behind him. “What brings you to my chambers?” “I came to see how you are doing and to ask a favor, ” Arthur said as he stepped inside the room which seemed darker than normal. Perhaps it was the lack of light or the lack of a certain someone’ s presence within its walls. “Gaius, I know what Merlin meant to you and I know that you protected him all these years.” “I did, Sire, ” Gaius said as he sat down at the table, returning to his dinner . He motioned to the other bench and Arthur sat down. “W ould you like some food?” “No, thank you.” “So, what can I do for you, Arthur?” “Gaius, you told me that one day I would learn, that I would understand just how much they had done for me. It was Merlin you spoke of back then. I know that now, and I need to know everything, Gaius. I need to know all that Merlin did for me and for Camelot. The only way that can happen is if I speak to Merlin.” Gaius barely flinched at the last part, nodding wearily . “And just how do you plan to do that?” “The Horn of Cathbhadh, ” Arthur said. “That is not possible, Arthur .” “It worked with my father .” “Only the spirits of your ancestors may be summoned by the horn. It will not work for Merlin.” Arthur ’s face fell and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Then how? I must speak with Merlin.” Gaius nodded, “The Horn will not help you, Sire.” “Gaius, please, I beg of you. I cannot move on without knowing the truth.” “Very well, ” Gaius nodded sadly, “I will tell you all I know . There is no reason not to, now that I no longer have to protect Merlin.” Arthur lowered his gaze, “Gaius, I am so sorry . If I could trade places with him, I would. If I could bring him back.” “Merlin would not want you to, Arthur . I think he always knew he would have to lay down his life for you in the end.” “I feel so empty, Gaius, ” Arthur said, “I don’ t know how to be me without Merlin. I owe him everything. I miss him, Gods…” Gaius let out a breath and gave Arthur a slight smile. “I know you do.” “I need to know what the prophecy says now that I have lived, and Merlin died. He was meant to live…I was meant to die. How can I call the dragon to me?” “You know about Kilgharrah, ” Gaius said raising an eyebrow . “Yes, he came to A valon after it all happened. He told me of the prophecy and Merlin’ s father . I figured out that it was Merlin who set Kilgharrah free all those years ago.” “He did, but only because the dragon had helped him to save you many times. Kilgharrah was exceptionally good at telling Merlin just enough and leaving out the parts he should have been told. The old dragon had his own aims. I only allowed Merlin to communicate with him because I knew they were both creatures of magic. They needed each other .” “My father kept him prisoner for two decades.” “Yes, Sire, ” Gaius said, “He believed that keeping Kilgharrah prisoner would set an example for any kingdoms who would ever think they could attack Camelot.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “That worked out well.” “Yes, but it did accomplish one thing, it struck fear in all those with magic. If your father could keep a magical beast prisoner, what could he do to them?” “My father was wrong, ” Arthur said, “He was wrong about everything. Magic is not evil. Perhaps if I had known that then, I would have had time to save Mor gana.” “Mor gana’ s magic was far dif ferent from Merlin’ s. Her magic emer ged at first through her dreams…nightmares. She saw things in them that eventually came to be. Things that were avoided because Merlin was able to stop them.” “Sophia?” Arthur said letting out a breath, “I knew there was more to that story .” “Mor gana saw her drown you in her dreams. Merlin tried to get through to you to keep you from going with Sophia and Aulfric. They were Sidhe in human form. Condemned to live a mortal life for killing another Sidhe. Their only way back to A valon was to sacrifice you. Merlin was nearly killed when Aulfric slammed him into the wall in your chambers. When I found him, he was in pain and disoriented. Y et he still ran all the way to A valon to stop them and save you.” Arthur shook his head, “How many times did he nearly die for me?” “Too many to count I’m afraid, ” Gaius frowned. “I remember, Mor gana dreamed of the Questing Beast…she was terrified.” “Yes, she saw you die.” “How did I survive? The bite was supposed to be fatal. And for that matter the beast itself, I know I did not kill it.” “Merlin did. W ith the same spell that he used on Lancelot’ s lance so he could kill the Griffin. Merlin enchanted your sword and drove it into the heart of the beast killing it. When they brought you back to Camelot, there was little hope. Merlin went to the dragon who told him he would need to go to the Isle of the Blessed. That he would need the magic of the old religion to save you. Nimueh was there. She gave him water from the Cup of Life, and in exchange, he bar gained his own life. Unfortunately, she knew who Merlin really was. She chose to take his mother instead. Hunith showed up here in the middle of a storm deathly ill and covered in sores. Merlin intended to return to the Isle of the Blessed to force Nimueh to take him instead. I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how he is—was, ” Gaius said. “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “He never would do what he was told.” “He went to your chambers, said he needed to tell you goodbye. It was then that I decided it would be me…that I would take his place. I went to the Isle of the Blessed to of fer myself for Merlin. I was unconscious by the time Merlin arrived. He told me afterward, Nimueh tried to get him to join her, to rule by her side…he refused of course. She attacked him with balls of fire. He ended up with a burn scar on his chest from the one that hit him. He pulled lightning from the storm raging overhead and killed her . In taking her life, the balance was restored and Hunith lived…I lived.” “And I lived…” Arthur let out a ragged breath. “It was Merlin’ s duty, his destiny to protect you…his purpose…the purpose for his magic. He was born with it, Arthur . For Merlin, magic was like breathing…a part of him.” “So, when he said that he was born to serve me…” “Yes, ” Gaius nodded. “Gods, Gaius, what did I ever do to deserve him? He was a far better man than me.” “Merlin would be the first to disagree with that, Arthur . Your father was a friend, but even I can admit that he was a hard man, cruel and unyielding at times. He made me take an oath to never tell you the truth about Nimueh and your birth. I am sorry, truly . I was a foolish old man, I let fear direct my actions. If I had not then Merlin and Mor gana would still be with us. Y ou have lost so much, Arthur…” Gaius frowned and shook his head. “Guinevere told me that she is with child, ” Arthur smiled. Gaius smiled, “I am happy for you both. Y ou will be a wonderful father, Arthur .” “If Merlin had not done what he did, I would not be here. My child would have grown up without a father just as I grew up without my mother .” “Then Merlin fulfilled his destiny, ” Gaius said. “I want him back. I need him back, ” Arthur said. “That is not possible, no matter how much I wish it were. I loved Merlin as a son.” “I know you did.” Gaius looked at Arthur intently . “Arthur, there is one place where you may be able to communicate with Merlin. I cannot guarantee that it will work.” “Please, Gaius. I will do whatever it takes.” “The reason Merlin was not able to go with you to Camlann…Mor gana took his magic using a creature of the Old Religion, called the Gean Canach. His only hope of regaining it was to travel to the place where magic was born. It is called the Crystal Cave and lies in the V alley of the Fallen Kings. Mor gana showed up and brought down the cave entrance trapping Merlin inside. He was injured and without his magic. Desperate to get to you before the battle. He told me that his father appeared to him in the cave and helped him to regain his magic. He used the crystals to send you the message about the hidden path in the mountains.” “Yes, he did.” “Perhaps if you go to the Crystal Cave there may be a way to communicate with Merlin. I will need to do some research. If you can give me a day or so.” “Yes, of course, Gaius, ” Arthur said, “But will I need the help of magic?” “I will be able to tell you more once I look into it.” “Very well, it is getting late. I would like to speak with you more tomorrow, Gaius.” “You know where to find me, My Lord, ” Gaius nodded, “Good night, Arthur .” “Good night, Gaius, ” Arthur said then left the chambers. He walked down the silent corridor, but instead of returning to their chambers, he walked outside and down the steps. He needed a drink. Heading for the tavern he walked in to find Gwaine and Percival at a table staring at their tankards of mead not saying anything. The fire was burning in the hearth, and the barkeep looked up, surprised to see the king. “My Lord, ” he bowed, “What can I get you, Sire?” “Whatever they are having, please, ” Arthur said then walked over to the table and pulled up a chair . Gwaine and Percival took a moment to even realize he was there, nearly jumping out of their skin when they did. “Arthur!” Percival said in surprise. Gwaine turned to look at him, his eyes glazed over . “Every time I see you, I look for him, ” he huf fed a pained laugh, his words slurred, “But then I remember, and it feels like a knife through the gut.” Arthur nodded, taking a drink of his mead as soon as Evoric placed it in front of him. “I keep expecting him to show up with some ridiculous story about falling asleep in the woods. Gods, I miss that smile and his annoying prattle. I would give anything to hear him call me a Clotpole or a dollop head again.” “Merlin never held back on his insults, did he, ” Gwaine chuckled. “Arthur, ” Percival said, “Do you think it was his magic that saved him after the Doracha?” “Knowing what I know now I am certain of it, ” Arthur said as Evoric brought him a second tankard of mead before he’d even finished the first. He shrugged, swallowed down the first, then started on the second. It wasn’ t proper for the king to get drunk in a tavern, but he couldn’ t find a reason to care right now . “Lancelot must have known that Merlin had magic, ” Percival nodded. “Yeah, Gaius confirmed my suspicions. Merlin enchanted the lance he used to kill the Grif fin back when he first came to Camelot. The first time he was made a knight and my father stripped him of his title because his seal of nobility was for ged…which I believe a certain Warlock was responsible for as well.” “Warlock? Sorcerer? Dragonlord?” Gwaine said, “Merlin was just full of surprises.” “What is the dif ference between a W arlock and a Sorcerer?” Percival asked. “From what Gaius told me, Merlin was born with his magic, ” Arthur said, “It was as much a part of him as breathing, or the blood pumping through his veins. Sorcerers may have a gift, but they study magic, it does not come naturally to them. Merlin was magic, but he learned how to use it properly from Gaius. So, I suppose, in a way, he was both.” “Was it really Mordred who mortally wounded you?” Gwaine asked Arthur . “Yes, ” Arthur nodded taking a drink of his mead, “I hesitated…that is all it took. He said I gave him no other choice. When I ran him through, he smiled…he smiled like he was relieved. It made no sense. I cared about him…trained him and he turned against me over a girl he hadn’ t seen since he was a child.” “You gave her a chance, Arthur…she refused your of fer, ” Gwaine shook his head. “But Mordred didn’ t know that did he, ” Arthur frowned. “This prophecy…” Percival said, “Merlin knew about it?” “Explains why he and Mordred were always at odds. I thought maybe Merlin was just jealous of the attention you were paying to Mordred, ” Gwaine frowned. Arthur nodded, “I see that now . It must have been so hard for him knowing that Mordred had magic like him and yet he was merely a servant and I made Mordred a knight.” “If you had known Mordred had magic you wouldn’ t have done so, ” Percival said. “No, I most likely would not have. Merlin is the one who deserved to be a knight, ” Arthur shook his head, “Gods, I am ashamed of the way I treated him. I still have no idea how many times he saved my life…how many times he saved Camelot.” The door opened then, and they looked around as Leon walked in, and waved to Evoric who nodded and poured another tankard of mead. “Thought I might find you all here, ” Leon said as he pulled up a chair, sat down, then looked at Arthur . “Are you all right, Sire?” Arthur shook his head, “Why wouldn’ t I be? I have only lost the other half of my soul.” “I’m sorry, ” Leon frowned. “No, it is I who should be sorry, ” Arthur said patting Leon’ s shoulder, “I have been neglecting my kingly duties placing too much on your shoulders.” “The queen sent me to find you, she is worried.” “I should probably go back.” “No, perhaps this is what you need…to talk about Merlin, ” Leon said, “I am certain she understands.” “What kind of man am I?” Arthur asked, his words beginning to slur as he drank a third tankard of mead, “My queen…my wife, she is with child and I am here, with you lot, grieving over my servant…best friend…protector…sorcerer…warlock…Dragonlord.” “You’re going to be a father?” Leon smiled. “Yep, I am, and if not for Merlin I would have died and never known about my child.” “Cheers, ” Gwaine and Percival smiled then downed their mead. “I’m drunk, ” Arthur said. “Me too?” Gwaine smirked. Arthur shook his head then let it fall back and chuckled, “Merlin used his magic in our fight in the market, he admitted it to me. I had no idea. He would have won if Gaius had not distracted him. I hit him with a broomstick.” “Low blow, ” Percival smirked. “Heard about that fight, didn’ t see it for myself, ” Leon smiled. “Then he saved my life, and as a reward, my father made him my manservant.” “Sounds more like a punishment, ” Gwaine grinned. “You’re not wrong, ” Arthur shrugged his eyes growing wider, “Sacked him after the snakes in the shield thing with V aliant. I was an idiot.” “You obviously hired him back, ” Percival said. “Yes, I couldn’ t stand the thought of anyone else replacing him…and now…” “There’ s always Geor ge, ” Leon smirked. Arthur glared at him, “I would rather wash my own socks than have to deal with Geor ge.” “He is rather stif f and proper, ” Gwaine laughed. “That’ s just it, he is too ef ficient for our king, ” Leon chuckled. “And he’ s not Merlin, ” Arthur said finishing his mead, “I want Merlin back.” “We all do, ” Leon said, “He was a friend to all of us…a brother really .” Arthur leaned forward placing his head in his hands, elbows on the table. The others looked at each other, clearly concerned for their friend and king. He huf fed a laugh then dropped his hands, his eyes shining with tears. “I am really, really drunk, ” he said. “Me too, but not enough yet, ” Gwaine mumbled then tipped his empty tankard upside down. “We should get you two back to the palace, ” Leon said. “No, ” Arthur said then turned to the barkeep, “Evoric, do you have a room available?” “Yes, of course, Y our Highness, ” he nodded, “I shall give you my best room.” “One for Gwaine too…Percival?” “No, I am not that drunk, but I’ll help get Gwaine upstairs.” “My Lord, the room I have for you has a second bed for Sir Gwaine or I can give him a separate room, ” Evoric said. “No need, Gwaine can share the room with me, ” Arthur said as he stood up, swaying on his feet to the point where Leon had to prop him up. “Thank you, Leon. W ill you please send word to Guinevere…tell her I am sorry .” “I am certain she will understand, Arthur, ” Leon said then helped his king up the stairs with Percival following behind, Gwaine leaning heavily on him. Reaching the top of the stairs, they followed Evoric to the end of the long hallway . He unlocked the door opening it wide, stepping inside to light the candles and start a fire in the hearth. “Here we are, ” Evoric smiled. Leon sat Arthur down on the lar ger bed near the fire. Percival dropped Gwaine on the smaller bed by the wall then pulled his boots of f. “You’re a good friend…a very big, good friend, ” Gwaine smirked and Percival rolled his eyes placing his boots near the hearth. “Leon, ” Arthur said then let out a loud burp that made Gwaine laugh. Leon shook his head, taking of f Arthur ’s boots. “Lie down, Arthur, you need to rest.” “Can’ t sleep, ” Arthur said as he laid back on the pillow, “I close my eyes, I see Merlin dying…over and over and over again. I will never get that vision out of my head as long as I live. He should be here…not me. It should be me lying in that godforsaken lake.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom. Camelot would be nothing without you, Arthur, ” Leon said with conviction. “Merlin said those exact words to me on the way to A valon, ” Arthur said pinching the bridge of his nose before running his fingers through his hair which had gotten too long, but he had no desire to let anyone cut it…that was Merlin’ s job…” “Arthur, ” Leon said, “See you in the morning, rest.” He headed toward the door and Percival followed him out, closing the door behind them, leaving Arthur and Gwaine in silence. “I should have been there, ” Gwaine choked out, his voice rough. “Gwaine…” “It was my fault. If I had not convinced Percival that we should go after Mor gana…she would not have gone to A valon. Merlin would be alive, and he would have had time to save you.” “No, Gwaine…don’ t put that on yourself.” “I was so angry about Eira…I allowed her into my bed…I trusted her .” Arthur huf fed a bitter laugh, “I know all about trusting people I should not have. Y ou are not to blame, Gwaine. I do not blame you.” Gwaine let out a growl, kicking the end of the bed. “All of this goes back to your father . His hatred of magic did this…he took Merlin from us.” Arthur fell silent and Gwaine pushed himself up to a seated position, back against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest, then folded his hands across the back of his head. Arthur rolled onto his side facing his knight, “I had the chance to kill my father .” “What?” Gwaine asked, looking at him. “Merlin lied to me…he lied to stop me from killing my father .” “What happened?” “Mor gause conjured the spirit of my mother, Ygraine, who told me the truth about my birth…what my father did. The reason he started the Great Pur ge in the first place. My mother could not conceive so he turned to magic for an heir . I do not know if he knew what the price would be, but in the end, my mother died so I could live…balance…a life for a life. I was angry…Gods, so angry . Upon returning to Camelot, I was out for his blood, I challenged him…demanded that he fight me. I had the point of my sword at his chest when Merlin burst in and told me that Mor gause lied, that it was not my mother I saw . That it was all a lie to tear apart the kingdom. Merlin could have let me kill my father, he would have been free, but instead, he lied, and I dropped my sword.” “Sounds like Merlin, ” Gwaine said, “So unselfish. Always putting others ahead of his own needs.” “I still feel such shame for the way I reacted when he told me about his magic.” “It’s understandable, Arthur .” Arthur nodded, “I thought I knew him…and the whole time he was hiding this huge part of himself. I should have known. W e were…” “You loved each other .” “Yeah, ” Arthur said with a soft laugh then sat upright and looked at Gwaine, “He was your best friend too, you really didn’ t feel hurt?” “No, not at all, ” Gwaine shook his head, “Merlin kept his secret to protect himself. He lived in fear every day of his life. That is something you and I could never possibly understand. Even before he came to Camelot, he grew up in Essetir…Cenred was well known for imprisoning and enslaving those with magic. He had no chance…stay or leave, he would always be in danger . Coming to Camelot was his best chance at survival. Becoming your servant was his destiny .” Arthur nodded, tears pooling in his eyes, “Y ou’re a wise man, Sir Gwaine.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh, “I’m really not.” “True…but thank you…thank you for being here for me.” “And we owe Merlin for that as well don’ t we.” “What did Mor gana do to you?” “Ah, that nasty snake thing…the same one she used on Elyan to find out you all were going to Ealdor, ” Gwaine shivered. “Gods, I hate snakes.” “I hate spiders…giant hairy spiders, ” Arthur muttered. “Definitely hate spiders and snakes. Don’ t mind dragons so much now .” Arthur laughed, “Me neither .” “Still hate W yverns though.” “Gaius thinks I might be able to communicate with Merlin from the Crystal Cave.” “Really?” Gwaine asked his eyes going wide. “I need to try, ” Arthur said, “I need to see him…talk to him.” “Then I am going with you.” “Gwaine, ” he shook his head, “I need to go alone.” “You are the king, Arthur, you cannot venture into the V alley of the Fallen Kings alone. Morgana may be dead, but there are still enemies out there who would love your head on a pike.” Arthur looked at Gwaine then nodded, “All right. But only you and me. No one else.” “When do we leave?” “Gaius said he needed to do some research. He has to find a way that I can communicate without magic of my own. There is a chance it will not work at all.” “You were born of magic, do think there is a chance you have some sort of magic?” Arthur laughed, “No, I don’ t think so.” “What is it you really want, Arthur?” “I need to know the part of Merlin he kept hidden. I need to understand.” “So, you can find a way to for give him?” Gwaine asked. “No, I have already for given him.” “Then what are you after?” “Ideally, I want to bring him home, ” Arthur lowered his gaze to the floor for a moment then looked at Gwaine. “But if that is not possible, I at least want my child to grow up knowing him. T o know the man who brought peace to Camelot. Is that so insane?” Gwaine shook his head, “No, Arthur, not at all.” “We should sleep, we are going to feel like death in the morning.” “I will go with you to see Gaius. He will give us his remedy then we can work on a plan.” Arthur laid back down on his side staring into the flames and laughed, “The fire.” “What?” “The fire in Jarl’ s fortress, when we faked that fight…the fire that mysteriously started and covered our escape.” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin…” “Remember what he said, that if it wasn’ t for that fire, we would have all been pushing up daisies.” “Of course. Also explains your recovery from the poisoned arrow in your leg. Y ou were burning up with fever…” “I was dying. And Merlin saved me…again.” Gwaine looked at Arthur intently, “Whatever it takes, we will do right by him. W e will make sure that Merlin is remembered…always. And maybe one day he will return.” “I hope so, ” Arthur said then finally drifted of f to sleep. Gwaine passed out soon after . To See Him Again “Gwaine, are you alive?” Arthur asked shaking his knight gently . “What? Oh, yes…alive…still alive, ” he jolted awake nearly rolling of f the bed. “That makes one of us, ” Arthur winced sitting down on the bed to put on his boots, “My head…” Gwaine stumbled to the hearth stepping into his own boots with surprising agility considering how much he’d had to drink. “Let’ s get to Gaius, he will fix us right up, ” he chuckled. “Sounds like you have gone to him many times for the remedy, ” Arthur smirked. “Regular customer .” They blew out the candles and then made their way downstairs where Evoric had breakfast prepared for them. They sat down and ate. Arthur placed a handful of gold coins on the table. “Please, Y our Highness, I cannot accept payment, ” Evoric said. “I insist, ” Arthur said, “For the mead, the room, and this delicious breakfast.” “Very well, My Lord. Y ou are welcome anytime, ” Evoric said then lowered his head, “W e all miss Merlin. He helped me out often with remedies and fixing things. He was a good man.” “Yes, he was, ” Arthur nodded. They finished eating and then headed for the palace. After a slight detour to let Gwen know, he was all right and to apologize for abandoning her, they reached the door of the physician’ s chambers. Gwaine knocked and then opened the door . Gaius waved a hand toward the table. “Leon told me to expect you two, remedy is there on the table.” “Thank you, Gaius, ” Arthur said drinking his down quickly trying not to smell it first. “Y ep, still as nasty tasting as ever .” “Nectar of the Gods, ” Gwaine chuckled, downing his with a flourish. “Gaius, have you found anything?” Arthur asked as he approached the older man. “I was up most of the night and I was able to confirm that the Horn of Cathbhadh will not work for someone who is not a direct blood ancestor .” Arthur said down on the bench, “And the Crystal Cave?” “There is a way to use the crystals to communicate with spirits, but you will need help.” “Magical help?” Arthur asked. “I’m afraid so, ” Gaius said, “Y ou will need to retrieve the Crystal of Neahtid from the vaults of Camelot and return it to the Crystal Cave from which it came.” “That doesn’ t sound too dif ficult, ” Gwaine said as he sat down on a bench across from Arthur . “Yes, well, that is the easy part, I am afraid. Before you return it, you must enhance its power .” “And just how do I do that?” Arthur asked. “It must be infused with magic from a high priestess.” Arthur ’s face fell, “That is obviously out of the question.” “The only other option is the Great Dragon, ” Gaius said. “Good, I need to speak with Kilgharrah anyway . Is there a way that I can call him to me?” “There is a spell, but I am not certain I have enough power . I am willing to try, Arthur .” Arthur knew from the look in Gaius’ eyes that this spell would take a lot out of him to perform. “Gaius, would it harm you? I will not ask you to do it if it will.” “It will not be easy, but I will do it for Merlin…for you.” “Is there another way? I will not do anything that will put you at risk.” Gaius thought for a moment then his eyes widened, “Of course, your sword, Arthur . It was forged by Kilgharrah. It holds his power . You can use it to call him.” “Great, tell me what I need to do.” “Arthur, please don’ t go alone, ” Gwen said as Arthur packed his bags. “Guinevere, Gwaine is going with me, I won’ t be alone, ” he said stopping what he was doing to embrace her . “There is no need to worry . With Mor gana dead and the Saxons scattered there is little threat right now . I must do this. Please understand. If I have a chance to see Merlin, to speak with him, I need to try . There is so much I need him to know and things that I must know to protect Camelot. T o keep the peace for our child.” Gwen shook her head, “I just do not want to lose you, Arthur . I cannot raise our child alone.” “I love you, Guinevere, I will return. I promise you.” “All right, ” she finally relented, “Just promise me that if you speak to Merlin, tell him how much he means to me and how grateful I am for everything he did.” “I will tell him, ” Arthur smiled then kissed her before resuming packing. There was a knock on the door . Gwen went to answer it. Gwaine stepped inside the room and she gave him a look... “Y ou will take care of him, ” she said. “Upon my life, I will protect Arthur, My Lady, ” Gwaine said then he approached Arthur with an object in a leather pouch. “Is this what we need?” he asked as he opened it and pulled out the Crystal of Neahtid. Arthur had not laid eyes on it since they brought it back to Camelot all those years ago. “That’ s it, ” Arthur sheathed his sword, kissed Gwen then nodded, “Let’ s go.” They made their way out of the castle to find Leon and Percival waiting in the courtyard with their horses. “Thank you, ” Arthur smiled, climbing onto his horse while Gwaine secured the crystal in his saddlebag then mounted his own horse. “Arthur, are you sure this is wise?” Leon asked. “It is something I have to do, Leon. Please understand.” “I do, just it isn’ t safe out there.” “I will take care of him, I promise, ” Gwaine said. “Courage and Strength, ” Percival said with a nod then reached up to grasp Arthur ’s forearm, “Godspeed, both of you.” Arthur nodded then turned his horse, heading for the drawbridge with Gwaine close behind. They crossed over it and then headed toward the clearing Gaius told them about. The place where Merlin used to sneak of f to call Kilgharrah for help. It was already mid-morning and they still had far to go to reach the Crystal Cave. As soon as they reached the clearing, Arthur dismounted, drew his sword, and stepped into the clearing. He held the sword out in front of him, resting flat across both hands then closed his eyes focusing all his light and ener gy into the blade then, tilting his head back, he shouted. “Kilgharrah, Great Dragon, I wish to speak with you. In the name of Merlin, The Last Dragonlord, please come to me. Hear your king, Kilgharrah…” “Did it work?” Gwaine asked keeping his voice low . “I don’ t know, ” Arthur shook his head. “Maybe you should say it again.” “What if he is too far away?” Arthur asked. Gwaine held up a hand, “Listen…” They both heard the familiar sound of massive wings and looked up as Kilgharrah came over the hill. He landed in the clearing just a few feet from the king. “King Arthur…Sir Gwaine, you called for me, ” the dragon said. “I did, ” Arthur said then sheathed his sword, “I have a favor to ask of you.” “A favor?” Kilgharrah asked a curious glint in his golden eyes. “Yes, I must speak with Merlin. Gaius said there is a chance that I can reach him in the Crystal Cave, but I need you to enhance the magic of the Crystal of Neahtid so that I may do so.” “I see, ” the dragon said, “Might I ask why you wish to speak with Merlin?” Arthur nodded, “There are things I need answers to, and things I need him to know . Will you help me? Please.” “Very well, ” Kilgharrah said, “Bring me the crystal, but you should know, Arthur, Merlin may not want to be summoned.” “Why?” Arthur asked, shaking his head, “Why would he not want to come to me?” “Arthur, Merlin gave his life for you. He would want you to live, to move on.” “I can’ t do that, ” Arthur shook his head, his voice breaking, “Not until I say what I need to say to him. I need to see him one last time. He died not knowing how I feel about him.” Kilgharrah raised his head and looked at Gwaine then back to Arthur . He let out a breath, a puff of smoke and flame. “Great King, there are things Merlin did that he may not want you to know .” “If you’re referring to the fact that it was Merlin who set you free? I figured that out for myself. So, you see I am not a complete idiot.” Kilgharrah let out a chuckle, “Y ou definitely are not.” “Will you help me then?” “I will help you, King Arthur, ” Kilgharrah said. He watched as Gwaine stepped forward with the Crystal of Neahtid in his hand. “Place it on the ground then step back.” Gwaine did as he said before moving to stand next to Arthur . The dragon lowered his head and opened his mouth breathing a heatless golden flame over the crystal. It began to glow with a light so bright that Arthur and Gwaine had to look away . “It is done.” “Thank you, ” Arthur said. “In the center of the Crystal Cave, you will find a pool of water . Place the crystal in the water and focus on Merlin. I trust Gaius told you what to say .” “He did, ” Gwaine nodded. “If Merlin chooses not to appear to you, Arthur, you will not try again. Promise me.” Arthur lowered his gaze to the crystal for a moment then looked up at Kilgharrah again. “If Merlin chooses not to come to me, I will let him be. I promise.” “The magic I have infused into the crystal will destroy it if you attempt the summoning a second time. It will shatter, obliterating everything within its reach. It will sever any connection between the Crystal Cave and A valon, the repercussions of which would be far worse than the tear in the veil that released the Doracha.” Arthur and Gwaine looked at each other as that memory took hold. Neither of them wanted to relive that nightmare. They had nearly lost Merlin, then they did lose Lancelot. “I swear to you, I will perform the summoning only once, ” Arthur said. “Good, then I bid you farewell, King Arthur…Sir Gwaine, ” Kilgharrah said then moved away preparing to fly . “Wait, please, Kilgharrah, ” Arthur said. The dragon turned back to look at him. “Please, tell me, do you know what happens now that Merlin changed our destiny by dying in my place? I was meant to return one day . Does that mean Merlin will too?” Kilgharrah shook his head, “I do not know, Arthur . The prophecies were written centuries before you and Merlin were even born. They all ended with your death and Merlin being immortal. What he did forever altered not only your fate but the fates of all those around you. What will happen remains to be seen. No one can say if he will return.” “Perhaps I can call on you again, ” Arthur said, “I am certain you miss him too.” “I would like that, Arthur, ” the dragon said then launched into the air and flew away, vanishing over the hills. Gwaine picked up the crystal placing it back inside the leather pouch. They made their way back to the horses in silence until they were in the saddle, heading toward the V alley of the Fallen Kings. “Arthur, did Merlin ever tell you what happened to him after the two of you were separated by the rock fall that day? When the bandits took him. When we found him, he was not himself.” “He never spoke of it again.” “I could not help but wonder if Mor gana had him and he escaped. Especially knowing now that he had magic.” “He would not have risked using magic to escape from her . She would have realized he was Emrys. I am certain she did not know who he was until Mordred told her after he left Camelot. That is why she sent that creature to steal his magic.” “Makes sense, ” Gwaine nodded, “I cannot begin to imagine how terrified he must have been to lose something that was such a part of him…something he had always been able to rely on from the day he was born. It is no wonder he panicked when those bandits attacked us in the Valley of the Fallen Kings when I was taking him to the Crystal Cave.” “I always wondered why, even when he was so clearly scared, he never lost faith that we would prevail no matter what we faced. I guess now I know why…he had his magic.” “No, Arthur, ” Gwaine smiled, “He had faith in you. Magic needed you as much as you needed Magic. Merlin’ s mother said it best…you were two sides of the same coin.” Arthur glanced over at Gwaine and nodded, “Thank you for coming on this journey with me.” “Nowhere else I would rather be.” “Do you think the dragon is right? That Merlin may not want to come to me?” Gwaine thought for a moment then shook his head, “All I know is Merlin loved you. I think he will want to see you again as much as you want to see him.” “There is so much I need to say, and I have no idea how long I will have to say it. When I summoned my father, I had little time before he told me I must go or risk being trapped in the world of the dead. Then I made the mistake of looking back as the veil closed releasing his spirit into this world. It was his ghost that hurt Percival and Guinevere, damaged the Round Table. Merlin and I had to hunt him down to send him back. He nearly killed Merlin, pinned him to a door in the armory with two spears. I blew the horn and right before he vanished, he tried to say something about Merlin. I think he was going to tell me about his magic. He must have used magic to fight my father after he knocked me out.” “Ah yes, poetry, ” Gwaine chuckled. “What?” “Oh, Leon told us how he found you and Merlin alone, sneaking around the castle in the dark. Arthur scof fed, “What did you all think we were doing?” “Poetry of course, ” Gwaine grinned, wagging his eyebrows. “I never…could never let myself have…” Arthur said his voice trailing of f. “You are an honorable man, Arthur . You would never betray Gwen or hurt Merlin.” “Yes, but it did not stop me from wondering what it would be like, ” Arthur blushed. He fell silent as they rode through a narrow ravine following the brook. Gwaine knew he needed to keep him talking. “Tell me more about when you and Merlin first met.” “You’re just trying to keep me talking, ” Arthur said narrowing his eyes. “Well, either you talk, or I will, and we both know how much you enjoy my mindless chatter, ” Gwaine laughed. “Come on, tell me. I really want to know .” “Fine, ” the king smirked. “I was not of ficially the Crown Prince yet, and needless to say I was a bit of a bully…an ass, as Merlin called me that day .” “Sounds about right, ” Gwaine chuckled. “You want to hear this or not?” “Sorry, Sire, do go on.” “My servant prior to Merlin, his name was Morris…dull, spineless, and what Merlin would call a bootlicker . I was on the training grounds with my equally bootlicking friends at the time. I was showing of f and I may have been throwing knives at the tar get my servant was carrying as he tried to place it for me. He lost his hold on it and the tar get rolled across the ground and fell at Merlin’ s feet, he placed his boot on it and says to me that’ s enough that I’d had my fun.” You’ve had your fun, my friend… Those words brought both a smile and tears. Arthur swiped them away and told Gwaine the rest of their first interactions leaving his knight laughing so hard that he could barely breathe. “You asked him if he knew how to walk on his knees?” Gwaine asked, fighting of f another wave of laughter . “I did, ” Arthur said unable to hold back a smirk. “You really were an ass, ” Gwaine chuckled. “Yes, and Merlin was quite adept at pointing out my flaws and telling me when I was being an idiot. He was the only person to ever do so and get away with it. T ruthfully, it is the reason I kept him around. He never failed to challenge me when I was doing the wrong thing or encouraged me when I was doubting myself. He created a damn sword for me of all things. Gods, Gwaine I did not deserve him.” “The way I see it, you needed him in your life. Y ou were surrounded by people who only told you what you wanted to hear and would never stand up to you when you were being a prat.” “Yes, and then you came along, ” Arthur laughed, “Y ou and your hatred of nobles. Why is that anyway? Y ou never told me.” “No one knows, save for Merlin.” “You may as well tell me now .” “If I tell you I will have to kill you, ” Gwaine said, and Arthur laughed. “My father was a knight in Caerleon’ s army . A noble. Fought and died for the king and yet when my mother went to him for help, he turned her away . As soon as I was old enough, I left home and made a living doing whatever I could. I would go back home and leave money with her every chance I got. Until the day I went back to find that she had died, and my heartless sister was gone…married some noble in another kingdom.” “I am so sorry, Gwaine.” Gwaine shook his head and smiled sadly, “That day I met you and Merlin in the tavern…I had just come from there. I had planned to drink myself into a stupor . Instead, I met this courageous and stupid man who started a fight he could not win and his best friend who dragged my wounded arse back to Camelot and gave me a reason to keep fighting.” Arthur nodded, “And ended up saving my life again. I could have made you a knight if you had told me the truth. My father would have overturned his decision easily if he had known.” “I could not have served under a king like Uther, ” Gwaine said, “I am proud to serve you, Arthur . You stood up for me against your father and I have never for gotten that.” “When Merlin went to you for help after I left for the Perilous Lands, you agreed to help because of him, not me. I knew that. Y ou were a good friend to him. I think you serve me because of him more than out of duty to me.” “Merlin was the first and only true friend I’d ever had, ” Gwaine said, “I think we bonded over the fact that neither of us really knew our fathers and grew up without them in our lives. What was Merlin’ s father like?” Arthur let out a breath, “I didn’ t get a chance to really know him before he was killed by one of Cenred’ s men. But what I saw was a man who had survived against all odds and was strong, brave, and far more powerful than I ever could have imagined…like father like son…” “Yes, ” Gwaine nodded, “What would you have done…if Merlin had told you about his magic sooner?” “I have asked myself that question a hundred times, Gwaine, and I am ashamed to say I still do not know the answer . All I know for certain is that I could never have let him die. Even in the beginning, I would have protected him, or at least I would like to believe I would have. Gods, my father has been so wrong about so much. I wish I could repair all the damage his hatred has done.” “The Great Pur ge began when you were born and your mother died, ” Gwaine said. “Yes, ” Arthur said. “And Merlin…he was born of magic…was magic…and he was a few years younger than you.” “What are you getting at?” “When Merlin destroyed Mor gana, what his magic did, healing us and Kilgharrah. God knows what else it touched…all that power, it had to come from somewhere. The magic released in the Great Pur ge, from the slaughtering of sorcerers…what if Merlin was born of that magic?” “If that is true, ” Arthur ’s eyes widened, “Then why would he be destined to protect me, the son of the king who was responsible for the Great Pur ge…essentially the reason for it?” “You were born of magic, Merlin was born with magic, ” Gwaine said, “T wo sides of the same coin…together you would bring balance. Build a world of peace and end the war on magic.” Arthur stared at his knight for a moment. “When did you become such a deep thinker, ” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow . Gwaine chuckled and shook his head, “I’m just putting the pieces together .” Arthur frowned, “I did not deserve him. I was blind to his deeds and his suf fering…just as I was to Mor gana’ s. I could have saved her…I should have saved him.” “Mor gana was beyond saving, Arthur . Her hatred was born of fear . That changes a person to their very core. She held me captive enough, I got to know her quite well. Behind those beautiful, haunted eyes was a soul filled with pain, bitterness, and rage that no one could have overcome. I would bet my life that Merlin tried, and if he could not save her, what chance did you have?” “You’re probably right, ” Arthur said, “They were once friends, you know . Merlin and Morgana…there was a time when I thought, they were more. But then something happened that caused a rift between them. Something changed after Mor gause and the Knights of Medhir attacked Camelot. She put all the people to sleep, only Mor gana was still awake… now I know why . Then something happened, the knights stopped and Mor gause took her away . We searched for more than a year . When we finally found her and brought her home, Merlin was visibly shaken. It was as if he did not want her back in Camelot.” “I’m sure he had good reason.” “Yes, I am certain he did. I just wish I knew the truth. I will probably never know everything.” “Probably not, and the dragon did say there were things Merlin did...that could be one of them.” “I didn’ t know at the time that Mor gana was my half-sister, ” Arthur shook his head, “I am not certain when she learned the truth, but I believe it was that knowledge that made her turn against our father . She became so twisted, a dark vengeful witch, determined to take back her birthright.” “Uther was at fault, not you, Arthur . And definitely not Merlin. Whatever he did, he did out of love for you and Camelot. The choice he made that day to stop her, it was made for the very same reason. He saw no other way out.” Arthur swiped at his eyes again and nodded, “I know .” “We will reach the Crystal Cave soon. It is not much farther . We should set up camp for the night and wait until morning to use the crystal?” “That’ s probably wise, ” Arthur said, “I want to be rested and thinking clearly when I do this. We only have one shot at it.” “I know a good spot, not far from the cave. W e can set up camp there and take a look inside before we do anything.” They rode down into a ravine that looked vaguely familiar to Arthur . As they got of f the horses, he remembered. It was the day bandits had chased him and Merlin. He’d been shot in the back with an arrow, the bandits were on top of them. Y et Merlin had not only fended them of f somehow but healed him from what easily could have been a fatal wound. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked as he got the fire going, “Are you all right?” “Yes, it’ s just I have been here before…with Merlin. W e were running from bandits, and I was shot in the back with an arrow . Merlin told me it did not pierce my armor, but I remember now .” “What else can you remember?” “I could hear Merlin talking to me. Just flashes of memory, I remember hearing him crying. At one point I heard him talking to someone, but there was no one else there. It makes no sense, ” Arthur said shaking his head. “When I woke up the next morning, I was healed, and Merlin was behaving oddly . He seemed traumatized by something.” “Something he saw in the Crystal Cave, ” Gwaine said knowingly . “It is said that the Crystal of Neahtid had the power to show the future. If it came from the cave…” “Merlin’ s magic allowed him to see the future through the crystals in the cave. It would explain why he was so upset.” “Merlin must have seen something about Mor gana. It was shortly after we returned to Camelot, she left her chambers late one night and somehow ended up falling down the stairs fracturing her skull. She was dying then inexplicably healed…Merlin must have healed her . He healed her despite knowing what she would become. He could have just let her die.” Gwaine looked down at the fire, “Merlin still had hope that he would be able to help her . He must have known that she was your sister .” “I remember telling him that I would give up my place on the throne for her to see another sunrise, ” Arthur said, “He saved her life because I wanted her to live. W e grew up together and I loved her as a sister . I could not bear the thought of losing her . Everything Merlin did was for me. He tried to save my father too. But Mor gana interfered in the spell, he died and Merlin…the guilt he must have felt. He risked so much.” “I still can’ t believe that old sorcerer was Merlin all along, ” Gwaine huf fed a laugh. “It is no wonder he kept his secret from me, even after my father was gone. I lashed out and tried to kill him. Then later, when he came to me as himself, I told him I had lost both my parents to magic…that it was pure evil, and I would never lose sight of that again. I was essentially telling Merlin that he was pure evil.” “And if your father had lived…do you really believe things would have changed for Merlin?” “No, I would not have been able to free magic until I became king. He would have still had to hide who he was.” “And yet Merlin still tried to save Uther knowing full well that either way he would have to continue to live in the shadows, ” Gwaine said shaking his head. “He could have done nothing and just let my father die…it would have been easier and safer for him to do so. Merlin risked everything to help me because I asked him to. Just as he did with Mor gana. I was angry at him for keeping his magic a secret and yet I never gave him a reason to trust me with that secret.” “All that matters is that you accepted him in the end. Now, sit down here and eat something, then get some rest, ” Gwaine said. “No, not yet. I need to see the cave. Where is the entrance?” Gwaine got up, grabbed his sword then headed down a path. “This way, ” he said, and Arthur followed him. They walked into the mouth of the cave. Gwaine found a discarded torch and lit it. They climbed up over the rocks, moving deeper into the cavern until they emer ged into a wide-open area filled with glowing crystals. “Gwaine, return to camp, keep watch I need to be alone, ” Arthur said. Gwaine nodded and went to pass him the torch, but he refused it. “You won’ t be able to see your way out of here.” “And neither will you if I take the torch.” “Fine, I will come back for you in a little while, ” Gwaine said. “Thank you again, Gwaine…for being here with me. I am not sure I could have faced this on my own.” “You’re welcome, ” he said then made his way back out of the cave leaving Arthur alone. Arthur sat down on the ground in the center of the crystals and closed his eyes. Even without magic, he could feel the power emanating from them. Merlin had come here to regain his magic after Mor gana’ s creature stole it from him. Arthur could imagine him there, injured, and scared…trapped because of the cave-in caused by Mor gana. “Merlin, can you hear me, ” Arthur asked, tears pooling in his eyes, “I miss you. I need to see you again, to talk to you. There is so much I need to say . So much I have to make up for . Merlin, please…” Arthur sat in silence listening. He heard the trickle of water as it ran down the wall of the cave into the crystal-clear pool where they would place the Crystal of Neahtid for the summoning. He was tempted to go back to camp, get the crystal and perform it now, but his mind was foggy . He wanted to be rested and focused. “Is anyone there, ” he asked receiving no response. “I will return tomorrow, ” Arthur got to his feet and headed toward the mouth of the cave. He was able to see well enough without the torch and reached the entrance just as Gwaine came through. “Are you all right?” he asked. “I will be tomorrow, if this works, ” Arthur said stepping out into the night. Gwaine hesitated a moment glancing back up toward the crystals. He feared what would happen if Merlin refused to appear . Arthur would be devastated. “Merlin, Arthur needs you, my friend. Please, do not refuse him when he summons you, ” Gwaine said then followed his king. Arthur woke at dawn, but he let Gwaine sleep a little longer while he went over the words Gaius had written down. At least it was not the language of the Old Religion. He wondered if it would even work. What if nothing happened? W ould that mean it failed or that Merlin refused to come through? “Did you get any sleep at all?” Gwaine asked as he sat up rubbing his eyes. “I did…a few hours here and there.” “You are exhausted.” “I’ll sleep for a week after I see Merlin and talk to him.” Gwaine studied him closely . “Are you sure you will be able to move on if Merlin refuses to show?” “I cannot think about that possibility right now, ” Arthur said then got up, retrieving the Crystal of Neahtid from Gwaine’ s saddlebag. “I’m going to do this now .” “I’m coming with you, ” Gwaine said then pulled on his boots, grabbed the torch, lit it in the fire, and followed his king. The sun was just coming over the crest of the hill, its golden rays filtering through the trees, illuminating the mouth of the cave. They stepped inside and then climbed up to the crystals. Looking around, Gwaine nodded toward the pool. “That must be it, ” he said. Arthur nodded approaching it as he slipped the crystal from the leather pouch and dropped to his knees in front of the pool. He placed it in the water and then looked at Gwaine. He took a breath before reading the words on the parchment. When he finished, he stood up and stepped back. At first, nothing happened, but a moment later a low hum began. It grew louder, the crystal began to vibrate in the water causing ripples on the surface. “Merlin, ” Arthur said his voice pleading. He did not care if he had to beg, he would do it. “Merlin, I need you…please, ” he said. He saw Gwaine step back a bit. “Scared?” he asked him with a slight smile. “No, not at all, ” Gwaine smirked, though his eyes were wide. “Arthur, ” a deep voice reverberated of f the walls that was definitely not Merlin. Arthur turned around to see a familiar bearded figure standing a few feet away . “Balinor…” he said. The man was solid but had a bluish light around him. “King Arthur, ” Balinor smiled fondly, “He said you would come.” “Merlin? Where is he? Please, I need to see him…speak with him.” “In due time, ” Balinor said, “There is something you need to see first.” “If Merlin is afraid, he does not have to be.” Balinor nodded, stepping closer, “Great King, there are many things my son was forced to do of which he is not proud. After you see what I am about to show you, if you still want to speak to him, he will come through the veil.” Arthur nodded, “So, be it, but there is nothing you can show me that will change my mind.” “Very well, ” Balinor said then stepped back waving a hand toward the lar gest of the crystals and suddenly there were images. Gwaine put out the torch and then moved to stand with Arthur . “W atch, Arthur…” the older man nodded, and the images moved through the crystals. Arthur inhaled sharply as he saw moments from Merlin’ s life flashing before his eyes. From before he came to Camelot, his mother ’s letter to Gaius. He smiled as he saw a happy, carefree Merlin walking along the road, arriving in Camelot only to witness a beheading of a sorcerer first thing. “I would have turned tail and run if that were my first experience in Camelot, and I don’ t even have magic, ” Gwaine said. Arthur shook his head, “But he stayed.” He kept his eyes on the crystals taking it all in. Their first meeting…their fight, then the banquet hall, the falling chandelier, and time visibly slowing while Merlin pulled Arthur out of the path of the witch’ s dagger . Valiant and the snakes, Nimueh and the poison that Merlin drank to save him, the light orb in the cave, Lancelot and the Grif fin, Edwin trying to kill his father, and Merlin saving him. Sophia, Aulfric, Kanen, and the bandits in Ealdor…the wind that turned the battle. Arthur saw the unicorn and Anhora, The Questing Beast, and the battle with Nimueh, Merlin was hit by a ball of fire, lying on the ground only to get to his feet and draw lightning from the sky, killing Nimueh. He was shocked to see the beast he had wounded, had actually been Freya…Freya from the Lake of A valon. Merlin had loved her . She died in Merlin’ s arms on the shore of the lake. Arthur had taken away the one person Merlin found who could understand him…accept him for who he truly was…love him the way he deserved to be loved. Even that did not compare to the shock of seeing the image of Merlin poisoning Mor gana and his releasing of the Great Dragon and the moment he learned who his father was before they set out on their quest to find Balinor . The moment Balinor learned who Merlin was and seeing them together by the fire while Arthur slept. The depth of emotion in Merlin’ s face when his father said good night to him for the first…and last…time in his life. Balinor ’s death and the overwhelming grief in Merlin’ s eyes…how he had struggled to hide it from Arthur who’d told him no man was worth his tears. Then the confrontation with the dragon and Merlin realizing his powers as a Dragonlord, speaking to Kilgharrah in a voice that sent shivers all through Arthur ’s body . The images continued and Arthur had no idea how he managed to absorb all of it, it had to be the magic enabling him to grasp and understand each and every moment as they flashed quickly . He laughed aloud when he saw Merlin release the Goblin. Then remembered his donkey ears and braying and his father ’s bald head the flatulence… “Should have known he was responsible for that, ” he smirked. “Sorry I missed that one, ” Gwaine chuckled. The images continued through the years everything from Elena being a changeling, to yet more of Mor gana’ s deception and the bizarre and quite frightening Manticore which Merlin fought. It was the stuf f of nightmares. Then the discovery of Arthur and Guinevere’ s relationship and Merlin changing into the old sorcerer to clear her name only to nearly end up burned on the pyre himself. The young sorcerer who fought Uther in the tournament. Merlin befriending the boy and trying to teach him the right way to use magic. It's...lonely . To...be mor e powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow . To...be special and…and have to pr etend you'r e a fool. I know how it feels, I understand. “Merlin, ” Arthur shook his head watching the scene. Merlin with a flame burning in the palm of his hand, revealing his true self to this boy in an attempt to convince him not to fight. “Gods, you should never have been made to feel that way .” The next scenes were of their quest to find the Cup of Life. Then the loss of Camelot and Morgana crowned queen, slaughtering its citizens in her lust for power . Her telling their father that she hated him. Merlin retrieving the sword from the Lake of A valon to save Camelot from the immortal Army by spilling the blood from the Cup of Life, the Doracha, the death of Uther, and Merlin saving the dragon’ s egg from the tomb of Ashkanar and hatching the white dragon into the world…her name was Aithusa. The battle with Queen Annis and her giant and watching Merlin’ s eyes flash gold as he helped Arthur in the fight when Mor gana’ s spell made his sword impossible to wield. Then came the moment both he and Gwaine had wondered about. Merlin restrained, hanging by his arms in Mor gana’ s hovel in pain and soaking wet. Mor gana putting the head of a damn snake in the back of his neck commanding him to kill Arthur . Followed by Merlin’ s many failed attempts to obey her . It was then that something occurred to Gwaine. “Arthur, when we found him, he was covered in mud from head to toe and you hugged him anyway . Was that the only time you ever showed him af fection? Every time prior, at the Fisher King’ s castle, after he survived the Doracha, you never embraced him like that.” “No, ” Arthur shook his head, “He tried to hug me once and I refused.” “You do realize that the one and only time you ever hugged him he was under Mor gana’ s control. It is likely that he never even remembered it.” Arthur lowered his gaze and let out a breath, “Y ou are right, Gwaine. I kept him at arms- length, but not for the reason you think.” “Oh, I know why, ” Gwaine smirked. “Enlighten me then, ” Arthur said. “Because you knew, if you gave into those feelings, that there would be no turning back.” “I loved him…” “And he loved you. He was Mor gana’ s prisoner, ” Gwaine said, “She was controlling Merlin, and yet every assassination attempt failed almost comically . That tells me Merlin’ s magic was protecting you even though he was not in control.” Arthur nodded, “I have no doubt. He was incapacitated and dying when he sent that light to me in the cave when I went in search of the Mortaeus flower .” The battle between Mor gana and Old Merlin was brutal. Arthur was stunned to see the raw power of his sister and his best friend and knew full well that Merlin could have killed her at any time. He had been holding back. Gwaine was surprised too, letting out a gasp when Merlin swept her up in a mighty whirlwind tossing her like a ragdoll. Then destroying the Fomorrah freeing himself from her control only to return to Camelot and find himself forced into a training session with Geor ge. “Oh, now that was just plain cruel, Arthur, ” Gwaine laughed, “Poor Merlin.” “I thought it was funny at the time, ” Arthur said, “But not so much now that I know what he went through. I feel like such a fool…a selfish idiot.” The images flashed faster, the Lamia then the return of Lancelot who had not actually been Lancelot, but a shade sent by Mor gana to interfere in his and Guinevere’ s wedding. Arthur was relieved to know the truth…to know his friend Lancelot had not actually betrayed him. He chuckled as he saw Merlin’ s little pranks on him while Mithian was in Camelot. The spilling of the soup, the uncontrollable burping. “Jealous, Merlin, ” Gwaine laughed heartily . “Jealous, no, he was just upset that I was moving on from Guinevere.” “No, my friend, that was pure jealousy because he was watching the man he loved with yet another beautiful woman, ” Gwaine smirked. “Don’ t be ridiculous, Gwaine, ” Arthur shook his head then watched the images from the hunt and the deer which had been an enchanted Guinevere. He saw Merlin’ s eyes flash gold and the arrow he had shot went wide only for Mithian to fire and hit her . He felt sick to his stomach. Merlin had ridden out in the night alone to find her…healed her with his magic. “Merlin…” Arthur choked. Then came the deception of Agravaine, Arthur wanted to punch something as he saw all that his uncle had done. He had been working with Mor gana from the start. Undermining his authority at every turn. The kidnapping of Gaius, yet another time when Arthur should have listened to Merlin and did not. Merlin using magic to turn him into a simpleton and putting him in those ridiculous clothes. Then an image of Merlin calling Kilgharrah and the dragon wiping out the majority of Agravaine’ s army . Gwaine let out an impressed whistle and Arthur wanted to see it again… there was just something about Merlin’ s dragon powers…the deep, resonating, almost animalistic tone to his voice. Next came the image that confirmed Arthur ’s fears. Merlin in the tunnels, facing Agravaine and what was left of his army and being forced to use his magic to kill them all. “Merlin did kill Agravaine, ” Arthur said. “I should have listened to him when he tried to tell me that my uncle was working against me. Merlin should not have been put in that position…I let him go back there alone. It should have been me to face him. I should never have trusted my uncle.” “Agravaine was your family, it is understandable that you would trust him.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “I should have learned from Mor gana’ s betrayal that family means nothing. Even my father betrayed me in so many ways. It was Merlin, all these years… Merlin who I should have trusted fully, he was my other half…my friend, my family, and more.” “More?” Gwaine grinned. “Shut up, ” Arthur rolled his eyes. The next image was Arthur pulling the sword from the stone, the golden light, and the pride in Merlin’ s eyes as he’d helped Arthur to believe in himself again. Merlin sneaking back into the citadel planting some magical object under Mor gana’ s bed that had rendered her temporarily powerless. Now, he knew the meaning behind her comment about Emrys. How wrong she had been, because Emrys was right there in front of her all along, protecting Arthur . Merlin had saved them yet again and they had retaken Camelot and Mor gana disappeared. As the images moved on into the last year, before the battle at Camlann, Arthur saw for the first time just how hard it had been for Merlin. How weighed down and unhappy he had become, rarely smiling. T ears filled his eyes as he saw Merlin fighting every single damn day to keep him alive. The worst was seeing him dying alone on the forest floor after being poisoned by Mor gana and thrown over a clif f only to recover with the help of that boy and then they returned to Camelot in time to save Arthur from the Sarrum’ s assassin. An assassin Guinevere ordered. Seeing her now, knowing it was her all along trying to kill him because of Mor gana’ s ritual. He could barely breathe as he saw Merlin’ s tears after he had uttered the deep guttural words to heal Arthur from the poison, once again saving his king. Then saving Guinevere from Mor gana’ s curse, becoming The Dolma to do so, because he could not use magic in front of Arthur . “Oh, Merlin, ” Arthur gasped. The rest was a blur, the betrayal of Mordred, the creature that stole Merlin’ s magic, his goodbye to Gwaine, the confrontation between him and Mor gana in the cave, and Merlin healing. Regaining his magic in time to warn Arthur using the crystals. When it was all over, Arthur and Gwaine stood frozen in place struggling to grasp it all. “Gwaine, I saw the look in your eyes when you and Merlin parted. Y ou knew…” Arthur turned to him and shook his head. “Not exactly, I wondered if he had magic, but I never knew for certain. Just something inside me knew that would be the last time I would see Merlin. I felt it, deep in my soul, that one or both of us would not survive.” Arthur watched the last of the images. The moment Merlin told him he had magic…that he was a sorcerer . He was ashamed as Gwaine watched his reaction expecting to feel his knight’ s judgment. “You took it better than I thought you would, ” Gwaine said with a huf f. “Yes, well, I am not proud of that. I should have been more understanding…what it took for him to finally tell me his deepest secret.” The last scene was the moment Merlin sacrificed himself and as it faded away they both stood there silent and stunned. “Do you understand, ” Balinor asked as he stepped forward, “Why Merlin is afraid?” Arthur shook his head, “It does not matter…none of it matters, Balinor . I want…I need to see Merlin…to talk to him.” “Then you can for give my son?” Balinor asked. “No, ” Arthur said, “There is nothing to for give. It is I who needs to make amends for what I did, for how I treated him. I need to ask him to for give me.” “Arthur…” Merlin’ s voice came from all around them, and Arthur smiled. “Merlin, thank God, ” he let out a breathy laugh, “Merlin, please, I need you to show yourself to me…you have nothing to fear .” Balinor stepped back revealing Merlin standing just behind him, an uneasy smile on his face. Arthur stared at him unable to believe he was really there. Merlin came closer, like his father, there was a bluish glow around him, but he was solid…he was there. He reached out a hand to touch the face of his king, but all Arthur could feel was a warm tingling sensation. His heart sank as he had hoped to be able to touch Merlin. “I am so glad to see you, ” Arthur breathed out. “You really came, ” Merlin said, “I mean, I hoped, but I wasn’ t sure how you felt about magic after everything.” “I need to feel you, ” Arthur choked. It was a struggle to find the words, to get out what he needed to say before Merlin went away again. “I’m afraid that’ s not possible, but I am here, Arthur .” “Merlin, for give me…there is so much I did not know . Things you went through. The loss of your father, Freya, W ill…I am so sorry I was not there for you all those times you needed me. I am sorry I let you be captured and tortured by Mor gana. I am sorry for the hurtful thing I said to you before Camlann, you are not a coward, and you were always the bravest man I ever met. I was stupid and selfish; I should have seen that you were in trouble.” “You had a war looming, I never blamed you for that. If it makes you feel any better, I cheated at dice in the tavern that night when I took all your money, ” Merlin gave him a cheeky grin. “Not the first time is it, ” Arthur chuckled. “Gaius told you what happened? Why I had to leave?” “We pieced it together, ” Arthur glanced at Gwaine, “Gaius just confirmed it.” Merlin then looked at Gwaine, “Hello, Gwaine!” “Merlin, ” Gwaine smiled through his own tears, “I miss you, my friend. Thank you for bringing me back from the dead.” “Anytime, ” Merlin smiled then turned back to Arthur . “I tried so hard to get to you before Mordred could…” Merlin said lowering his gaze, “Kilgharrah warned me long ago when Mordred first came to Camelot…he said I should let him die or kill him myself and I just could not do it. Mor gana…what she became was all my fault.” “None of it was your fault and I am proud of you for not acting on the dragon’ s warnings. Mordred deserved to live…he deserved a chance to choose his own path and he did so. If anything, I pushed him right into Mor gana’ s waiting arms.” Merlin nodded, “Y ou…me…Mor gana…Mordred…our destinies were entwined. Everything happened because I lost sight of my humanity and made choices that I should not have made. If I had reached out to Mor gana and Mordred…if I had told you about my magic sooner… Arthur shook his head, “W e haven’ t much time, Merlin, I do not want to dwell on the past. The magic in the crystal will not last much longer . Gods, I want so badly to hold you in my arms right now, to tell you…” “I know, Arthur, ” Merlin smiled fondly . “No, I need to tell you, ” Arthur said with tears sliding down his face, “I love you, Merlin. I love you more than I can ever say . I am sorry I buried my feelings for you. I was scared…” “Arthur, ” Merlin grinned, “I love you too. From the moment we met, I think.” “You called me an ass, ” Arthur chuckled through his tears. “And a prat, ” Merlin smiled, “But there is no one I would have rather served. I told you, I was born to serve you, Arthur, and I am so damn proud of that. I would not change a single thing.” “Oh, Guinevere is with child, ” Arthur said, “I’m going to be a father . She wanted me to thank you for all you did for her as well.” Merlin beamed, “That makes me very happy . Knowing your child will grow up with both parents in a kingdom of peace. Just promise you won’ t name him after me…or her .” “There will always only be one Merlin in my life, ” Arthur smiled, tears pooling in his eyes. “You are the other half of my soul and I feel so lost without you by my side. I should have told you long ago what you mean to me, Merlin.” “I think I knew . Sometimes the way you looked at me…I felt it. Even when you were throwing things and calling me names. Arthur chuckled, “Horseplay…” “I didn’ t mind really .” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, what you did…what you lost…your magic and your life. I was meant to die, not you. Do you even know what your sacrifice did to the prophecies? What will happen now? W ill you return one day, as I was meant to?” “Arthur, I did what I had to do to make sure you lived. Y ou are the king; I was but a servant. I would make the same decision all over again. My magic will never be completely gone as it is a part of my soul. As far as the prophecies…I do not know any more now than I did in life, except that you will live on to be the king I always dreamed you would be. And you have Gwen and soon a child. Remember me, live for me, be happy and tell everyone back in Camelot that I am all right. I am at peace.” Arthur brought his hands up trying to feel Merlin there, but he was just ener gy…magic. “I want you back, ” he said softly . Merlin’ s eyes glistened as he appeared to be crying, “Arthur, please do not feel sadness or grief any longer . I am and always will be a part of you. Look after Gaius for me, tell him I’m sorry for leaving him. T ell my mother that I love her and that I am with my father . Tell Kilgharrah that I expect him to do all he can to protect you and Camelot in my absence. Merlin stepped closer pressing his forehead to Arthur ’s even though they couldn’ t actually feel each other . “I will make sure that you are remembered by everyone in the kingdom and beyond. I want to honor you the way you should have been in life.” “That is not why I did it, Arthur . I do not need honor or recognition. I just need to know that you are alive and well and happy, ” Merlin said then drew back slightly, “Arthur, Mor gana is with me. All this time she was under a curse placed on her by Mor gause during the year she was missing. It twisted her anger and fear turning her into a monster . She wanted me to tell you she is sorry for everything, though she knows that means little after all she did.” “Mor gana was cursed?” Arthur asked and Merlin nodded. “She is free of it, it released her when she died. She is at peace now, Arthur . Remember Morgana as she was before, kind, beautiful, and full of life. I am going to look after her as I should have done in life.” “Thank you, Merlin, ” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her that I understand, that I for give her . That I still love her, I always did.” Merlin smiled, “I will tell her .” Then he looked at Gwaine and smiled, “Y ou will look after this dollop head for me?” “Always, Merlin, ” Gwaine nodded, “It was good to see you again.” “You too, old friend, ” Merlin said then turned back to Arthur, “I must go now . The magic of the crystal is fading.” “No, not yet, ” Arthur said his voice catching in his throat, “Please…” “I have to go, but before I do…I need you to promise me that you will not use the Crystal of Neahtid to try to summon me again.” “No, Kilgharrah made that quite clear, ” Arthur shook his head. “Good, ” Merlin smiled, “T ell me you haven’ t replaced me with a bootlicker .” “I can never replace you, Merlin…with a bootlicker or otherwise.” “Time to go, Arthur, ” Merlin said taking a step back, “Goodbye…be well and be happy .” “Merlin…” “Always…” Merlin said as he and his father stepped back vanishing in a bright bluish-white light. Arthur stood where he was for several minutes then collapsed to his knees, bowing his head. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, “Are you all right?” “No, ” he huf fed a laugh, “But I suppose I will have to be.” “Come on, let’ s get you out of here, ” Gwaine retrieved the crystal slipping it back into the leather pouch that Arthur had dropped on the ground. He relit the torch and nodded. “W e will get some food and rest then we can head back. W e should be able to reach Camelot before nightfall if we hurry .” Arthur got to his feet and with one last glance at the place where Merlin had stood, he turned and followed his knight out of the cave. He paused for a moment at the entrance when he heard Merlin’ s distant voice. Goodbye, Clotpole. He laughed aloud and Gwaine turned to look at him. “What?” “Nothing…let’ s go home, ” Arthur smiled then putting his arm around the other man’ s shoulder, they walked back to their camp. The Circle of Life Six months later… Arthur paced the floor just outside of Gaius’ chambers his hands clasped behind his head, worry etched on his face, and tears pooling in his eyes. He was terrified. He kept seeing over and over in his head, his Guinevere collapsing to the floor in the middle of the feast, clutching her swollen belly, crying out in pain. She had looked up at him as he tried to comfort her after sending for Gaius. Arthur…our baby…something is wr ong… The sheer terror he felt at that moment. His mother had died giving birth to him. W as fate so cruel that it would cause history to repeat itself? W ould he lose his beautiful Guinevere and their baby? No, this cannot happen…not again. He glanced at the closed door again hearing whimpers and cries from his wife. Gaius had forced him to leave, he needed room to work, and Arthur was in the way, but he wanted to be with her . Needed to be with her . He turned and stopped short of punching the stone wall, instead pressing his palms flat against it then bowed his head. “Please…please, do not take them, ” his voice came out in a stuttered cry of sheer pain. “Y ou took my mother…you took my father…” He let out a ragged breath then looked up, “Y ou took Merlin from me. Please, I beg of you, ” Arthur choked, “Do not take my Guinevere… our child. I will do anything…anything…” “Arthur, ” Hunith said from the doorway, “You should come in now .” “Hunith I can’ t…I can’ t lose them, ” he closed his eyes to hold back the tears as she caressed his cheek. “Arthur, come inside, ” she nodded the grief in her eyes and her reassuring touch forced him to pull himself together he stepped into the room where Guinevere lay on the bed next to the fire. She reached her hand out for him and he dropped to his knees kissing it and then her forehead. Her hair was wet, and her face twisted in pain. “Arthur…” she gasped. She was so weak that she could barely lift her head. “Guinevere, please don’ t leave me, ” he whispered, “I love you…” he looked up at Gaius meeting the old physician’ s gaze. His eyes held the same grief as Hunith’ s. “Gaius, save them, please…you have to save them!” “I’ve done all I can, Arthur, ” Gaius said, “The baby is coming, but I am afraid there is much bleeding inside. The baby is turned the wrong way…a breech. I cannot risk trying to turn the baby with Gwen already bleeding so heavily . To do so would risk both their lives.” Arthur nodded in understanding then looked into Gwen’ s eyes, “I am so sorry .” “Arthur, I don’ t want to leave you, ” she cried. “There has to be something…magic…” he lowered his head. “My magic is not powerful enough, Sire, ” Gaius said as he sat down on a bench. “If Merlin were here…” “Arthur, I’m afraid this would not even be within his power .” Gwen screamed, her fingers gripping the edges of the bed. She was shaking uncontrollably, and her skin was cold to the touch. Arthur was lost, he did not know what to do, and he was afraid to touch her and cause her more pain. He looked down seeing the blood and he knew…he was losing her . Hunith put her hands on Arthur ’s shoulders, “Arthur, let me take care of her .” He looked up at her and gave a slight nod then got to his feet moving to sit on the steps leading to Merlin’ s old room. Drawing his knees up, he pressed his hands to his face and wept silently . Merlin stood on the shore of A valon a heavy feeling had settled over him. Something was wrong…very wrong. Arthur… He bent down and placed a hand over the water, his eyes flashing gold. He saw Arthur lost and alone as Gwen screamed in pain. He heard Gaius and saw his mother helping to take care of her . “No!” Merlin yelled as he saw the blood and he knew . “No, please!” he screamed into the sky, “Stop this, please…Arthur cannot lose them!” “My child…” a woman wrapped in a soft white glow appeared over the water, “What distresses you so?” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur has lost enough. Do not take his wife and baby . I beg of you, White Goddess. Spare them.” “You insist on challenging the fates yet again for your king?” she asked with a raised eyebrow and a soft smile. “Have you not yet learned your lesson…what happens when you go against destiny?” “Save them, please! I will do anything. Y ou can take back my magic…” “Ah, Merlin, even in this world you continue to sacrifice yourself for King Arthur . He has moved on, as should you. I will not take back your magic.” “I cannot stand by and allow him to suf fer the loss of Gwen and their child. Not when there is something I can do to save them!” Merlin shouted. “What makes you think you can save them?” The Goddess studied him with narrowed eyes then lifted her head slightly and smiled. “V ery well…choose one, ” she said bluntly . “What?” he asked, his eyes going wide. “Choose, Merlin, Guinevere, or the child. Choose, or both will die.” “How can I possibly make such a choice?” “You must do so now, my child. The queen or the heir? Which will live?” Merlin dropped to his knees on the shore, tears streaming down his face. He lowered his head focusing on the images in the water . Gwen or the baby, he could not choose…but if he did not, Arthur would lose them both. The kingdom would lose its queen and the heir to the throne…Arthur ’s legacy . “Merlin, you must choose, ” the White Goddess said. Looking up at her, his eyes wide and filled with tears, “Arthur will be devastated.” “Yes, he will be, but you can spare him the loss of his wife or his child. I am only of fering you this chance out of love for you, my proudest creation…my gift to the world.” Merlin looked down at the images on the water's surface again then got to his feet. He swiped at his eyes and looked at her . His voice came out rough and deep. “I choose the child. Save their baby, please.” “Very well, ” the goddess nodded then she took the tip of her silver staf f and swirled it through the images in the water and her eyes glowed bright white. Merlin stumbled back a step. A moment later she was gone, and he was alone. Arthur sat on the steps holding the tiny bundle in his arms, tears sliding down his face. His son…he had a son. He pressed his lips to the tiny head, a sob escaping his chest. His beautiful Guinevere was gone. How would he ever be able to go on without her? “Arthur, would you like me to take him?” Hunith asked. “No, not yet, ” he shook his head. “I want you to know, that I will stay in Camelot and help you all I can, ” she said softly . “Thank you, Hunith, ” he gave her a sad smile, “He’ s beautiful, isn’ t he.” “Yes, he is, ” she said pulling a small stool over so she could sit next to them. “Have you thought of a name?” Arthur nodded, “His name will be Gavin…Gavin Thomas Pendragon.” Hunith smiled, “That is the perfect name. Gavin is a bird…like a Merlin.” “Yes, it is. How do I do this alone?” Arthur asked, “How did you raise Merlin all alone?” “We do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy, Arthur . That is all we can do.” Arthur glanced over at the bed where a sheet covered the body of his Guinevere. “I failed her…I cannot fail him.” “These things happen, it was not your fault. The fact that Gavin survived is a miracle. I have helped to deliver many babies who were breech and they did not make it.” “Gaius…” Arthur said. “He will return soon. He went to inform the court and to make arrangements…” “I just…I can’ t believe she is gone, ” Arthur shook his head. “I know, I am so deeply sorry . She was a wonderful woman and queen.” “Thank you for all you did for her through the last months. She loved you so much.” “And I her, we grew close during the time she lived with me in Ealdor . Arthur, she loved you deeply . She wanted this baby…she wanted you to have a son to carry on the Pendragon legacy . She told me many times that meant everything to her .” “I just never thought I would be raising him on my own.” “You will not be alone, you have so many people who love you, Arthur . You are like a son to me. I could not have gotten through Merlin’ s death without you and Gwen. I will always be here for you and Gavin, I promise.” “Thank you, ” Arthur smiled reaching over to grasp her hand, “Having you here helped me too.” “Perhaps you should take Gavin to your chambers and get some rest, Arthur . I have arranged for a cradle to be placed in your room. I will come for you when she is ready, and I will stay with him while you say your goodbyes. I must go to the kitchen to prepare more of the milk for his next feeding.” Arthur stared at the bed and then nodded. “All right, ” he said then got up carefully supporting the head of his infant son. He kissed Hunith on the forehead then left the room walking down the corridor . He was glad that he did not meet anyone along the way . It was after midnight. W alking into the chambers he had shared with Guinevere he felt the weight of her loss. Glancing down at the child in his arms he smiled. “I won’ t let you down, Guinevere, ” he said softly, “I will raise our son. I will never let him forget his mother . He will be loved and cherished, and I promise he will never doubt his worth.” Merlin smiled through his tears as he watched the scene in the water . “Arthur, I am so sorry, ” he whispered. He turned as he heard a noise behind him. He saw Gwen coming toward the lake, looking as she did when she was a servant, wearing the pink dress she had worn the day he took her to the woods to meet Arthur for their picnic. He shook his head as she looked up and saw him. “Merlin!” she gasped and ran into his waiting arms. “Gwen, I am so sorry, ” he choked, tears running down his face. “Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for .” “I wanted to save you both…but the White Goddess forced me to choose.” “I don’ t understand, ” Gwen said softly cupping his cheek. “I asked her to save you and the baby, but she made me choose between you. I chose to save the baby, ” Merlin said his voice breaking. “Oh, Merlin, ” Gwen smiled brightly, “Thank you…thank you for saving my child. All I wanted was for my baby to live. That is all a mother can ask for .” “Arthur…” “Arthur will be all right, ” she said, “He will be a wonderful father . I have no doubt.” “I was afraid…” Merlin shook his head, “I felt Arthur ’s despair, I just wanted to help.” “And you did, Merlin. Y ou saved my life many times, you saved my father, and now you have saved my beautiful baby . I owe you a debt I can never repay .” She stepped back and looked at him, “Y ou look good, Merlin. I have missed you.” “My magic has been slowly returning.” “So, this is where we go when it is over, ” Gwen said, “Y ou are here to greet me?” “Yes, well…it’ s the gateway, ” Merlin nodded, “I just like it here. It is peaceful.” “Where do I go next?” “Come with me, ” he smiled then led her out onto the water . He waved a hand and a doorway appeared. It opened and she looked at him with a fond smile. “You’re coming with me then?” “No, but you won’ t be alone, ” he nodded as Elyan and T om appeared in the open doorway . “Father! Elyan!” Gwen beamed then embraced Merlin, “Thank you for being here for me.” “I love you, Gwen, ” he said then kissed her tenderly, “Go on, now, your family is waiting.” Gwen stepped through the door, and it vanished. Merlin stood there for a moment then looked up as the White Goddess appeared to him again. “It seems you made the right choice, my child.” “Thank you for your help. What will happen now?” “The child will live, it seems he has his own destiny, ” she smiled. “What do you mean?” “That is not for you to know…not yet, ” the goddess said then vanished in a white light. “Great, ” Merlin muttered, “Y ou’re worse than Kilgharrah.” Three years later… “Gavin!” Hunith called after the young prince, “Gavin, come here child. Are you trying to give me a fright? T ake pity on this old woman.” “Sorry, ” the little sandy-haired, blue-eyed boy gave her a sheepish grin, “I want to see father .” “A training field is no place for a little one, ” Hunith beamed as she scooped him up in her arms. He kicked his legs gently, pressing his hand to her cheek. “Please, Hunith…” Letting out a breath, she shook her head, “Fine, but just for a little while. Then you are going to eat your lunch and take an afternoon nap. Promise?” Gavin nodded, “Promise!” Hunith carried him to the training field where Arthur was working with his new knights. Gwaine and Percival lingered of f to the side drinking from the water bucket, covered in sweat. It was already hot, and it was only late morning. Arthur glanced over, spotting them, and ran over to kiss his son’ s chubby cheek. “Y ou want to watch?” he asked, and Gavin nodded emphatically . “One day you will join us, my boy .” “That is a long time away, ” Hunith chided Arthur with a wink. “Yes, of course, ” he chuckled then kissed Gavin again before jogging back to his men. Hunith moved to a bench and sat down putting Gavin on his feet while keeping her arm around him so he would not run out onto the field and get in the way . She watched as Arthur fought three knights at once and as usual, he defeated each of them with strength and stamina. She smiled as she remembered Merlin telling her how he and Arthur met. Her boys…all three of them, she thought as she kissed the top of Gavin’ s head. She lost Merlin, but she loved Arthur and Gavin as her own, feeling as proud of them as any mother would. As Ygraine would. A second group of knights, this time four, surrounded Arthur . She noted that one of them wore leather armor which she thought was odd. Arthur did not seem concerned about it as he began to spar with the four men. Hunith caught a glimpse, a flash of metal that was out of place. Before she could react the man with the leather rushed forward slicing at Arthur ’s throat with a dagger only to hit an invisible force his eyes widening in surprise for a split second before Arthur ran him through with his sword. He turned to look at his son, breathing hard and shaking. Gavin was standing with one arm raised and his eyes shimmering gold. Hunith looked from him to Arthur in shock. Neither of them said anything not wanting to draw attention to the boy. She had suspected for a while now that Gavin had magic…now there could be no doubt. He just saved his father ’s life without uttering a word of a spell. “That’ s enough, ” Arthur growled at his men, “Get this rubbish of f the field.” He walked over to Gavin picking him up in his arms. “Gavin, you did that?” The boy nodded. “Couldn’ t let that bad man hurt you, ” he said then his face fell, “Am I in trouble?” “No, no, my boy, ” Arthur kissed his forehead, “Y ou’re not in trouble, love.” He looked at Hunith questioningly then they walked back to the castle together . “I guess now we know .” “Yes, ” she said, “Are you all right?” “Yes, thanks to my son.” “I was referring to what he did. Are you all right with the magic?” Arthur shook his head, “I am not scared of it, if that is what you’re asking. How did you feel when you realized Merlin had magic at such an early age?” Hunith laughed, “Merlin was much younger when I first saw his magic.” “Really?” Arthur asked. “Yes, the first time his eyes turned gold I was so frightened I nearly dropped him. He was only a week old at the time.” “So, he was literally born with it, ” Arthur shook his head, “And now my Gavin has magic. What I do not understand is how . Guinevere did not have magic and I definitely do not have it. I wish Gaius were here, could really use his help.” Gaius had passed on just a year earlier . Hunith had taken over as healer and caretaker for Gavin. Arthur would have been lost without her in their lives since Guinevere died. “Who else can I go to?” “Maybe reach out to the Druids, they may know . Or Kilgharrah…” Arthur nodded, “If anyone would know the answer it would be the dragon.” It had become a regular occurrence for Arthur to go to the clearing and call to him. He would come and they would talk about Merlin and how much they missed him. Kilgharrah had explained the prophecies and his and Merlin’ s parts in them. He still did not know the lasting ef fects of Merlin’ s death. The Gods, or Fates, or whoever had not seen fit to reveal what lay ahead for them all. “I will go to him before nightfall.” “I want to go, ” Gavin said, “Please, father .” “All right, ” Arthur smiled, “I will take you, but only if you do what Hunith says and eat your lunch and take a nap.” “All right, ” he grinned. “I should come along too, ” Hunith said, “That way I can bring Gavin home when he gets too tired out. I know you will want to stay longer .” “You’re so good to us, ” Arthur smiled then kissed her cheek. “I have to take care of my boys, ” she winked then took Gavin from his father, “All right, food then nap, then we will go see the dragon.” Arthur stood there watching his giggling son and the woman who gave up everything to take care of them. He now knew exactly where Merlin inherited his deep compassion and his intelligence. Hunith reminded him so much of her son in the little facial expressions and the way she could look at him and know exactly what he was thinking. Arthur could not have survived the last three years without her support, her steadfast courage, and strength. Having her there was the next best thing to having Merlin himself. “Arthur, ” Leon said as he came toward him, “What happened back there on the training field?” “That new knight…Magne…he attacked me with a dagger . I killed him.” “I’m talking about the magic, Sire, ” the taller man said. “Yes, that, ” Arthur said as he turned and started walking up the steps. “Arthur?” Letting out a breath, Arthur glanced around and then moved closer to Leon. “It was Gavin.” Leon’ s eyes went wide, “Gavin has magic? How?” “I have no idea, but I need to find out. I will be going to the clearing before sunset with Gavin and Hunith, ” he said, “I need to speak with Kilgharrah.” “I should come with you, or Gwaine, ” he said. “We will be fine, but thank you, Leon.” “Magne was a traitor . We searched his quarters and found evidence that he was working for someone, but we do not know yet who it was.” “Could be anyone, ” Arthur shook his head and continued walking up the stairs to the next floor . He turned the corner and headed for the council chambers. “There are many who are resisting the uniting of the five kingdoms under my rule.” “But the kings and queens have all sworn their allegiance and agreed to the terms.” “True, but there are others who are not so accepting of their decision. Many lords feel entitled to their kingdom’ s wealth and power which will now fall under Camelot’ s control and protection. In doing so it limits their ability to become wealthier of f the backs of the citizens. Keeps them from abusing their titles.” Leon smiled, “If your father could see what you have accomplished, Arthur…” “He would still find fault in it, as he always did. I no longer care about my father ’s approval or acceptance. He was wrong in all his decisions. W rong for his hate and bigotry and the genocide of hundreds…if not thousands of innocent people with and without magic.” “Well, for what it is worth, I am proud of you, Arthur, ” Leon said, “Y ou are a far better man and king than Uther ever was.” “And I owe it all to Merlin, ” Arthur said softly, “Without him…Camelot would not be standing, and I would not be king.” “That may be true, but it was you that Merlin fought for, not the kingdom. It was his belief… his love that made him choose to fight by your side.” Arthur nodded and let out a breath, “I still miss him, and I miss my beautiful Guinevere.” “I know you do, ” Leon said, “At least you have Gavin.” “Yes, and Gavin has magic, ” Arthur huf fed a laugh. “Should make life interesting.” “To say the least.” “It is good you have Hunith to help. The voice of experience when it comes to magic.” “I am eternally grateful for her . I would be lost without Hunith’ s guidance and support.” “Like her son, ” Leon said knowingly, and Arthur smiled. “I must go now, Gwaine is speaking to people trying to find out if anyone knows where Magne came from.” “Keep me informed, ” Arthur said and watched as Leon walked down the corridor . He reached the door of the council chambers and went inside to find Percival studying a map. “Arthur, ” he said, “I was just looking over the finished map of the newly united kingdoms. It is amazingly well done and detailed.” “You always did love your maps, ” Arthur grinned. “When you have traveled as much as I, maps are interesting.” “I never imagined I would one day be the ruler over all five kingdoms as one.” “After you defeated Mor gana, they felt you were the leader they all needed.” “I did not do it alone, ” Arthur shook his head and sat down at the head of the table. “No, but it was you who inspired every man, woman, and child to fight for freedom. It was your love for your people that drove you, unlike some kings who only cared about themselves and no one else.” “It was my knights, my army, my queen, and…” Arthur ’s voice trailed of f. “Merlin, ” Percival said. “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “If not for him I could have easily turned into one of those kings. He and Guinevere taught me so much about compassion and strength…putting others first no matter what their station. They showed me that a person’ s title or position in life does not determine their worth, as did Gwaine. Lancelot taught me to stand for what I believed in… for what was right and good. Y ou, Percival, showed me that strength and bravery were not enough and that I needed to be open-minded and listen to people. Gaius’ skills as a physician, Leon’ s loyalty, and Elyan’ s determination…all of you have made me the king I am.” Percival smiled, “And none of us would be here if not for Merlin.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “Y es, you are right. Sometimes I think Gwaine and Lancelot were more loyal to Merlin than to me.” “Gwaine told me some of what you two witnessed in the Crystal Cave, ” Percival said as he took a seat to Arthur ’s right. “Merlin should have a statue erected in the square in his honor .” Arthur grinned, “Merlin would hate it. All he did, he did not want rewards or to be celebrated…just to be accepted for who he was…to be free.” “Free to use his magic, ” Percival nodded. “Every time I think about the danger he faced every single day he lived in Camelot. All the hangings, beheadings, the pyres in the courtyard…all those people, they could have been him at any given moment and I would have been powerless to stop it while my father lived.” “You would have found a way . You would never have let Merlin die like that.” “No, instead he sacrificed himself for me.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom.” “His dream of being free…it is not fair that he died never knowing freedom. He lived his entire life in fear of persecution, slavery, and death. He deserved that chance.” “Yes, he did, ” Percival nodded, “But you were more important to him than his freedom…his life. He proved that over and over again. Do you think there is a chance that one day he will return?” “I do not know . He didn’ t know either . The prophecies said I would die, and he would live on.” “His magic made him immortal.” “He told me that his magic will never totally be gone because it is a part of him, part of his soul.” “Then perhaps once his magic is at full strength, he will be able to return. He will be immortal again, ” Percival said. “I am not sure that is how it works. He no longer has a body anyway; it was burned by Kilgharrah on A valon. Even if he could return, his soul would have nowhere to go.” Percival nodded, “W e all miss him. He was like a brother to all of us.” Arthur ran a hand through his hair, “He was everything to me.” “I know, Arthur . I may not have been here in the beginning, but I saw enough to know that you loved him as much as he loved you. Even if you could not show it.” Clearing his throat awkwardly, Arthur leaned forward pulling the map closer, “Let’ s have a look at this map.” Percival smiled, “Y es, Sire.” “It’s a beautiful evening, ” Hunith said inhaling the fresh air as she rode the dark gray mare next to Arthur on his white stallion Apollo with Gavin in front of him. “Yes, it is, ” Arthur smiled. Gavin looked up at him and grinned, “Going to see Killy!” Arthur laughed, “Y es, we are. Though I’m not sure you should call him that.” “He likes me, ” Gavin said. “Yes, he does. He said you were special. I guess now we know what he meant.” “Like Merlin, ” the boy grinned. “Just like Merlin, ” Arthur wrapped his arm around Gavin pulling him closer, kissing the top of his beautiful son’ s dark blonde head. “Y our mother would be so proud of you, little one… so brave and smart.” “Like his father, ” Hunith smiled, and Arthur laughed. Reaching their destination, Arthur dismounted and put Gavin down on the ground watching as the boy ran to the center of the clearing, looking up into the sky . He then turned to help Hunith down and tethered the horses to a tree while she went to join Gavin. He looked around, taking in their surroundings. He reached for his sword as a sudden feeling of unease washed over him. Shaking his head, he drew the sword and called to Kilgharrah and waited. “Arthur, ” Hunith turned to look back at him, her eyes wide as she seemed to be sensing something as well. Arthur took two steps toward Gavin. He heard a sound behind him and spun around as a heavy fog came out of nowhere, enveloping them making it impossible to see anything. He heard the sound of men rushing toward them, obscured by the fog, and ran to where he knew that Hunith and Gavin had been standing. They were gone. “Gavin! Hunith!” he yelled, “Where are you?” “Arthur!” he heard Hunith cry out and turned heading toward the sound of her voice. “No, get away from him!” Hunith screamed. “Leave him alone!” “Hunith!” Arthur caught a glimpse of five men dressed in leather and chain mail moving through the fog, wielding swords, and maces. They had not seen him, and he moved silently his heart pounding in his chest as he forced himself to focus. He looked up at the sky hoping to see the dragon and nearly tripped over Hunith who was on the ground a deep gash on her forehead. “Arthur, ” she gasped, tears streaming down her face as she grabbed his tunic, “I tried to stop them…they have Gavin!” “Hunith, take this, ” Arthur said handing her the dagger from his boot. “Can you walk?” he asked. “I think so, ” she nodded, and he helped her up leading her over to a stand of trees. “Stay here, I have to go after them, ” he said, “Which way did they take him?” “That way, ” Hunith motioned to her left, “Arthur…” The sound of heavy wings somewhere above made them both look up and Kilgharrah swooped down letting loose a hot breath that cleared the fog around them then he landed. “Kilgharrah, they have my son!” Arthur said, “I need your help.” The dragon launched into the air once again and circled overhead burning of f the fog until they could see the area. Arthur spotted two men and rushed them killing one. The other he shoved up against a tree the blade of his sword pressing against the man’ s throat. “Where’ s my son?” he roared. “Where you will never find him, ” the man grinned, his dark eyes cold. “Tell me now!” Arthur growled his blade drawing blood. “Never!” Arthur stepped back and drove his sword through the man killing him instantly . Looking up he saw Kilgharrah burn a trail taking out three more men. “They are heading east, ” Kilgharrah said then headed in that direction with Arthur following on the ground. He ran down an incline and through a ravine stopping as he heard Gavin crying in the distance. “Gavin!” Arthur called out and started running toward the sound of his son’ s voice. He scrambled over a rise and ran through a brook following tracks in the mud. He reached a ridge and looked down spotting a group of twelve men mounting horses one of them struggling to hold on to a squirming and kicking Gavin who was fighting with everything he had. “Gavin! Release him now!” Arthur shouted half running half sliding down the steep slope. “Let me go!” Gavin screamed, then bit the man holding him, on his upper arm. The man roared and slapped him hard and Gavin went limp. “No!” Arthur yelled, jumping over a fallen tree. Kilgharrah swooped down the men scattered firing crossbows at him to no ef fect. “Give me back my son!” he locked swords with three men who rushed him, he fought them of f killing two and wounding the third. When he looked around the man holding Gavin was nowhere in sight and Kilgharrah was laying down a trail of flames through the woods. “Gavin!” Arthur yelled his heart crushed in a vise of panic and desperation as he turned in a complete circle running a hand through his hair. Smoke from the fires and the still lingering fog made it impossible to see anything especially with the sun going down. Kilgharrah landed near Arthur . “I am sorry, Great King, ” he said, “I lost sight of them when they split up in the woods. I could have burned everything, but I was afraid I would harm the boy.” “They took him…they took my son, ” Arthur said fighting tears. He could not think, his hands were shaking. “Kilgharrah, I need you to go to Camelot and get help, please. I will go back and check on Hunith at the clearing. T ell my men to meet us there as soon as possible.” “I will go, ” the dragon said then leaped into the air flying for Camelot. Arthur pulled himself together and somehow made his way back to the clearing. He found Hunith sitting by a fire hugging herself, rocking back and forth with tears streaming down her face. She looked up as Arthur approached her, eyes going wide and full of hope that vanished when she did not see Gavin. “I am so sorry, ” she choked shaking her head, “I tried to hold on to Gavin, but they hit me.” Arthur crouched next to her, cupping her cheek, “It was not your fault. There’ s nothing you could have done. I chased them, I saw him, but they got away…I—I sent Kilgharrah for help. Did you hear or see anything that could help us find him?” Hunith thought for a moment then nodded, “I heard someone mention King Alined.” “Alined? Why would he take Gavin? Those men were not wearing Deorham colors.” “I also heard the name Amren, ” she said, and Arthur nodded. “Alined’ s son, Prince Amren…that makes more sense. He is the sole heir to the throne of Deorham and railed against the uniting of the kingdoms under my rule. He was to inherit the throne when Alined dies and was not pleased that his father signed the agreement that essentially gave away his birthright.” “But he will still be king, just under Camelot rule…your rule, ” Hunith said. “Yes, but he will not have the power his father had during his reign. I should have known he would retaliate. Dammit.” “He won’ t hurt Gavin, will he?” Hunith asked tears shining in her eyes. Arthur shook his head, “I do not know . The man holding Gavin slapped him to make him stop fighting him. He stopped moving.” “Dear Gods, ” she gasped, “Oh, Arthur, I’m so sorry .” “Hunith, stop blaming yourself, ” Arthur said, “If anyone is to blame it is me for coming here without protection.” “How did they even know you would be here?” “Obviously, there was someone else other than Magne in Camelot. They must have overheard us talking. The knights will be here soon. W e will get him back.” “What caused that fog?” Hunith asked. “Magic, I have seen it before. Only that time it was Merlin trying to help the Druids.” “They have magic…” “It seems so.” “What are you going to do?” “I’m going to find my son, and God help anyone who gets in my way, ” Arthur said, his eyes fierce and dark. The Calling Merlin felt it, the call of his magic…not from within but coming from the other side. Reaching, pulling, dragging him toward the edge of the lake. He ran through the woods, the sun’s rays filtering down through the branches. W ithout slowing his pace, he dove into the water swimming hard and fast until he saw the bright blinding light beneath the surface. He headed right for it and busted through the center exploding to the surface. His lungs burned his body suddenly felt heavy and awkward. He stumbled from the water collapsing to his knees on the shore digging his long fingers into the sand. Sucking in air, he looked up at the dark sky at the bright stars shining through gaps in a heavy fog that felt unnatural. He tried to stand, but his legs did not want to work. He let out a groan rolling onto his back. He was cold, trembling, and weak…he was alive. Alive and naked. “Ow, ” he moaned pressing his hand to his forehead. The magic was even stronger now, calling to him. He inhaled deeply trying to focus. He felt his magic sur ge within him in answer to the call. Whatever it was, it was bad…really bad. He needed to get up and move. Being slammed back into this body, his own body, he would have to figure out later how that was even possible when his body was burned to ash by dragon fire over three years prior . Merlin crawled up the shore and then stood on legs as wobbly as a newborn colt. His eyes flashed bright gold, focusing everything on finding his equilibrium and strengthening this new body . Running a hand through his dark hair he looked around. Please, help me… Hearing the words so clearly startled him. It sounded like a small child. He reached out with his magic, eyes burning gold as he sent his vision out into the woods over hills and through ravines, along a brook searching for the source. He found it in a camp hidden deep in a gully . Surrounded by fifteen men with three campfires, a small child sat huddled in a blanket his hands and feet tied. I hear you, little one. Merlin waited and listened for a response. Who was this child and why did his magic feel so familiar, like a part of his own? Merlin… How do you know my name? My father… Your father…what is your name? Gavin…Prince Gavin Pendragon… Merlin’ s knees nearly gave out again as the realization hit him. Gavin…Arthur and Gwen’ s son and he had magic…Merlin’ s magic. He was in trouble. I’m coming for you, Gavin. Do not give up. Hurry, Merlin… Keep talking to me, little one. I’m her e. Don’ t be scar ed. I want to go home…want my father… I will get you back to him, I pr omise. Merlin ran through the woods until he came to a village where people were settling in for the night. He skirted the edge until he found a house with nearly dry laundry hanging on a rack. He grabbed a worn brown tunic and a dark gray cloak with a hood, and brown trousers. He dressed quickly and then called a pair of boots to him from inside the house whispering a word to make them fit him. He then uttered an apology and a few words of magic to warm their hearth and stack their firewood. It was all he could do for now, he had to get to Gavin. The village didn’ t have any horses, so he focused on Gavin and started to run. He considered calling Kilgharrah, but from what he could tell the area was heavily wooded and the dragon would not be able to land nearby . He wasn’ t even sure if his Dragonlord powers would still work since he died and he had no son to pass them down to. Gavin, ar e you still with me? I’m her e…the man with strange eyes made me want to sleep. Someone with magic… Merlin… It’s all right, you r est. I will be ther e soon. I won’ t let anyone hurt you. Okay… Merlin clambered up a hillside, his eyes shining in the darkness helping him find his way . He was finally feeling at home in his own body again, his long legs strong and sure, his balance and focus returning. He couldn’ t help smiling it felt so good to be alive again and at the moment he wasn’ t about to question such a gift. W as this permanent or would he be forced to return to A valon? Taking every shortcut that he could remember, Merlin finally reached the camp. The men were sleeping except for two positioned at each end of the gully to watch for any sign of trouble. He lifted the hood of the cloak and lowered his head before walking boldly into the center of the camp. The guards jumped up drawing their swords. “Declare yourself, ” one of them said. Merlin saw Gavin sleeping up against the tree wrapped in a heavy blanket. He smiled and then turned to the guards. “Forgive my intrusion, I am a Druid, separated from my people, ” Merlin said. “Be on your way then, ” the taller of the guards growled. “I will, but first, may I warm myself by your fire?” “You may not!” Merlin shook his head and then lowered his hood. The guards rushed him, but he raised one hand and shouted a word. They hit a wall of magic and froze, their eyes wide with fear . Merlin felt movement behind him and turned as their sorcerer threw a spell at him. Almost as soon as the spell was cast the man froze as he recognized Merlin. “I know you! Merlin, isn’ t it…” “Alvarr, ” Merlin smirked. “You…you have magic!” “I was born with it.” “Are you him…are you Emrys?” Merlin shrugged, “Might be.” “What do you want? There is nothing here for you.” “Oh, you see there is. Y ou and your men kidnapped someone very important to me.” Alvarr looked over at the sleeping child. “It is not of my doing. Their orders came from someone in Deorham…from King Alined’ s court.” “Working for a warmonger king who prospers of f the backs of dead soldiers?” Merlin glanced around, “Casting sleeping spells on a frightened little boy . You should be ashamed of yourself.” “You have no right to judge me…you protected the Pendragons, ” Alvarr hissed closing the distance between them, “If you are truly the great Emrys why do you care about one young prince?” “Because I was born to serve the Once and Future King and you have taken his son. I cannot allow you to get away with that. I just spent the last three years in A valon, I am stronger now than I ever was before. If you want to live you will walk away and let me take him home to Camelot.” “Even if I do, they will not allow you to do that, ” Alvarr smiled smugly nodding to the now wide-awake mercenaries surrounding Merlin. “They will be more than happy to send you back to A valon.” Merlin’ s smile grew, “I’d like to see them try .” Alvarr ’s eyes flashed, and Merlin uttered a word throwing his arms out to the side. Every man in the camp except Alvarr dropped dead where they stood causing the latter ’s face to turn a few shades paler as he realized the truth. “Emrys, ” Alvarr said, “Please, do not harm me. W e are the same…” Merlin shook his head, “No, I am nothing like you. T o take an innocent child from his father . Using Mor gana all those years ago the way you did. Corrupting Mordred. I should kill you, but I am going to do something far worse and allow you to live, only without the one thing that makes you the monster you are. Y our magic. “No, please!” Alvarr shouted bringing his arms up. Merlin raised a hand and shouted a spell his eyes turning silver . Alvarr fell to the ground as his magic was ripped from his chest, shot into the air, and scattered like falling stars over the land as he cried and begged. When Merlin finished, he released him. “There now you will know what it is like to be powerless and frightened, ” Merlin said coldly, “Get up, run away…now!” Alvarr scrambled to his feet and ran into the woods without another word or even a glance back. Merlin then turned and gathered Gavin up in his arms uttering a spell to wake him. The boy looked so much like Arthur it brought tears to his eyes. He smiled, gently caressing his cheek as his eyes fluttered open. “Merlin?” he asked. “Yes, ” Merlin nodded, “Are you hurt?” “You really came for me, ” Gavin said. “Of course, ” Merlin grinned, “Y ou have magic.” “Like you, ” the boy said, “My father…told me you were gone.” “I was, but I’m not anymore. What do you say we get you back to him?” “He’ s far away, ” Gavin said his eyes welling up with tears. “We will find him…I found you, didn’ t I?” Merlin grinned, hugging him close and the boy wrapped his arms around his neck. “Hunith tried to stop the bad men from taking me. They hit her, ” Gavin choked, his little body trembling. Merlin’ s eyes widened, “My mother was with you and Arthur?” “She takes care of me, ” Gavin nodded, “W e were going to see Killy ‘cause I can do things.” “Killy?” Merlin asked with a grin. The thought of Kilgharrah allowing Gavin to call him that was quite amusing. “W ell, don’ t you worry, my mum is a tough woman. I am certain she is fine.” “She tells me stories about you, ” Gavin smiled through his tears. Merlin laughed as he sat the boy down by the fire to warm his hands and check him over for injuries finding only a few cuts and bruises, “I’m sure she does.” He whispered a word and the ropes fell away from his wrists and ankles. “There, you’re free now .” “You’re really not gone anymore?” “I’m here, Gavin. I do not know how, but your magic and mine are the same. It called me home.” “I’m glad…father misses you.” “And I missed him so much.” “Can you stay with us now?” Merlin had no idea whether he would be able to or not. W as this temporary or was he back for good? W as he immortal again? It was obvious that his magic was much stronger than before. “I’m not sure it is up to me, but I want to.” “Please stay…” Gavin said softly . “Come on, let’ s get you back to Arthur .” Gavin wrapped his arms around Merlin as he picked the exhausted boy up resting him on his hip. Reaching out with his magic he felt Arthur and smiled. “He’ s not far, he’s looking for you, ” he said, and Gavin buried his face in the crook of Merlin’ s neck. “Sleep little one, you’re safe now .” He smiled and then headed west, his magic guiding them through the woods. Arthur was barely able to focus, stumbling over the rough ground holding onto the reins of his horse. His vision blurred and he had not eaten anything. Once his men had arrived at the clearing, he sent Hunith back with Leon. Gwaine and Percival were fanned out on either side of him. They had been searching in the darkness all night using torches carried by his soldiers to light the way . The magical fog lingered, and Kilgharrah flew overhead searching the countryside, but even he was exhausted, so Arthur sent him away . The dragon had reluctantly left, clearly worried about Gavin. It was so strange to think about a magical creature being such an important part of their lives now . His father would definitely have something to say about that. “Arthur, ” Gwaine said handing him a waterskin and a hunk of dried meat, “Y ou look like you are going to drop any minute. Y ou need to rest and eat, drink some water .” “Cannot rest until I find my son, ” Arthur shook his head. “Gwaine’ s right, ” Percival said as he approached, “Y ou’re not going to be able to fight if you can’t even stand up.” “He’ s alone and cold…surrounded by strangers, ” Arthur said then forced himself to take a drink of water and a bite of the meat, “I can’ t stop.” He handed the waterskin back to Gwaine and started walking forward again. Gwaine and Percival looked at each other both feeling helpless. Their king…their friend was hurting and lost. He would push himself to his limits to get Gavin back. And what if the worst happened? Arthur had already lost Merlin and Gwen…to lose Gavin would kill him. Arthur crouched down looking at a track in the torchlight. The men who took Gavin had split into three groups and they had no idea which of the three had him. For all he knew they could be following the wrong tracks and Gavin could be miles in the opposite direction. “Gavin, ” Arthur choked, dropping to his knees, and lowered his head. “What is that?” Gwaine asked and Arthur looked up turning to see where he was looking. The fog seemed to be alive, swirling and dancing through the trees like spirits, ghosts of the dead, silent and eerie. A bluish-white glow illuminated the trees, pushing back the fog. Arthur ’s heart stuttered, that light… He got to his feet as a hooded figure emer ged from the woods, wrapped in a heavy gray cloak. Percival and Gwaine drew their swords, but Arthur waved a hand. “Stand down, ” the king said as he walked toward the figure. “My Lord, ” Percival said. “They mean us no harm.” “How can you be so sure?” Gwaine asked. “Call it a funny feeling, ” Arthur said then sheathed his own sword. He watched as the figure stopped walking. He drew back his cloak revealing a sleepy but very much alive Gavin. “Oh, my God, Gavin!” The figure put Gavin down on the ground as Arthur dropped to his knees. “Father!” Gavin yelled and ran toward him. “Thank the Gods, ” Arthur dropped to his knees gathering him into his embrace holding him kissing his cheek and forehead, stroking his hair checking him over for injuries. “My boy, ” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Don’ t cry, father, ” Gavin said, hugging his neck. “I’m so sorry, ” Arthur said holding him tightly . He looked up at the hooded figure who was still standing a few yards away . “Thank you, whoever you are…for bringing my boy back. How will I ever repay you? Y ou shall receive a reward, anything you want…name it…land, gold, anything.” “I’d settle for my old job back, ” the figure said then slowly lowered his hood. “Holy…” Gwaine said, his mouth dropping open in shock. Arthur stared at the man before him, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Merlin?” Merlin gave him a wide grin, “Hello, Arthur…” “Merlin…you’re alive!” Arthur scrambled to his feet bringing Gavin with him. “My God, you’re back! How?” he asked shaking his head as he closed the distance between them. “I’m not exactly sure, but it was Gavin. His magic…I do not know how, but it is part of my own. It…he called to me, brought me back and I was able to find him. The men who took him are all dead except Alvarr . I let him live, but without his magic. Personal experience taught me that is a fate worse than death.” Arthur shook his head, “As glad as I am to hear that, right now I just want to look at you.” Merlin chuckled, “Are you saying you’re glad to see me?” “Gods, yes, ” Arthur grinned, “W elcome home, Merlin.” He put his arm around Merlin’ s neck and kissed his temple as they walked back toward Gwaine and Percival who were grinning from ear to ear . “Boys, we have Gavin, and we have Merlin back.” “Merlin!” Gwaine said and he stepped forward embracing him tightly, cupping the back of his head, “It is so damn good to see you, my friend.” “You too, Gwaine, ” Merlin grinned then turned to Percival who wrapped him in a bear hug that made it dif ficult to breathe. “Merlin, we missed you, ” he said as he drew back finally releasing him. “It is good to have you back, brother .” “It’s good to be back.” Arthur looked at Gavin smiling and kissed his cheek. “Set up camp for the night, ” he told the men and they hurried to do as he ordered. Merlin reached out to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “He looks like you, ” he grinned. “I know, poor child, ” Arthur smirked. “Are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am now, thanks to you. I will never be able to repay all you have done for me, Merlin.” “Then it’ s a good thing you don’ t have to.” “I’m hungry, ” Gavin said tucking his face into Arthur ’s neck. “Then let’ s get you something to eat.” Arthur tucked Gavin into his bedroll wrapping him up warmly and kissing the top of his head. Merlin sat by the fire watching with a crooked grin. “What?” Arthur asked. “Nothing, just you’re pretty good at that.” Arthur sat down next to Merlin, “Y es, well, considering who my father was it is a miracle.” “You were always better than your father, ” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him intently and shook his head, “I can’ t believe you’re here.” “Neither can I. One minute I was in A valon the next I was back…naked on the shore and completely disoriented and weak. I don’ t know how I am even me…my body .” “How do you feel now?” Arthur asked. Merlin smiled, “Happy .” “What was it like…A valon?” “Beautiful, peaceful, surreal…lonely…” Merlin frowned. “You were all alone?” “I chose to be, ” he said. “Why would you?” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin…” “I guess I just felt like I didn’ t belong in the next world any more than I belonged in this one.” “Merlin, that’ s not true…” Merlin looked into Arthur ’s eyes and smiled, “It really is. Y ou saw the truth in the Crystal Cave. Y ou know what I have done…the people I hurt and killed. I am sorry for lying to you all those years. I wanted to tell you so much. Y ou were the one person I wanted to see me for who I truly was and to accept me fully .” “I see you now, and I do accept you. Gods, Merlin, I am so damn happy to have you back, ” Arthur smiled. “And you brought my son back to me.” “Did you really kiss me?” Merlin asked with a raised eyebrow, “Percival told me that after I died you kissed me.” Arthur blushed and nodded, “I did.” “Sorry I missed it, ” Merlin huf fed a laugh. “Really?” “Only time I ever got a real hug from you was when I was under Mor gana’ s control and cannot even remember it. Then you wait until I am dead to kiss me, ” he grinned. “I never knew you wanted…” “Yes, well, you were always a bit thick, ” Merlin chuckled. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “It’s all right, I always knew you loved Gwen, and she loved you. All that mattered to me was that you were happy and safe and that you would be the king that Camelot needed.” “Yes, but you needed me too and I wasn’ t there for you.” Merlin shook his head slowly, “It doesn’ t matter now .” “It really does, ” Arthur said, “Everything you did for me…it was not out of duty or for some prophecy, it was out of love. Y ou sacrificed yourself for me.” “And I would do it all over again.” “I know you would and before you go and do something so foolish again, I want you to know that I love you…I love you, Merlin.” Merlin’ s head shot up as he met Arthur ’s gaze. His lips parted wordlessly, and Arthur laughed. “Speechless, are you?” he asked. “Arthur…” “I should have told you before, but I was an idiot and scared. I meant what I said in the Crystal Cave. Y ou are the other half of my soul; you always were, and you always will be.” Merlin smiled, “T wo sides of the same coin…” Arthur reached up placing his hand on Merlin’ s face, his thumb brushing lightly over his cheekbone. “It’s time I do this properly, ” he said then leaned forward pressing his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender searching kiss. Merlin kissed him back a tear slipping from his eye. Arthur drew back brushing it away with his thumb. “Are you okay?” he asked, and Merlin nodded. “Just never thought…” he said with a hitch in his voice as he averted his gaze looking over at the others around another fire. “Arthur, I don’ t know if this is permanent…if I can even stay.” Arthur nodded, “Then I do not want to waste a single moment with you. Merlin, I want you to return with us to Camelot. Y ou can do or have anything you want. Y ou can take over as physician. Y our mother has been doing both Gaius’ job and taking care of Gavin. I would have been lost without her these last three years.” “Gaius, ” Merlin said softly his eyes filled with sadness. “You did know…” “Yeah, I saw him when he passed over into A valon. He tried to talk me into going through with him, but I stayed where I was.” “Losing you, Gwen, and Gaius…it was a rough few years. And Geof frey too.” “Geof frey died?” Merlin asked. “Yes, shortly after Gaius. I still have not replaced him either .” “Arthur, I want to stay with you and Gavin, ” Merlin said, “As long as I am able.” “You said Gavin’ s magic is like yours?” “It is.” “Makes sense, ” Arthur nodded, “Gwen was already pregnant when you did what you did to destroy Mor gana. Y our magic was released. It healed me and Kilgharrah and brought Gwaine back from the dead. It is possible that it somehow reached Gwen and our unborn child.” “I did not know it would do that. I just knew that the spell was my only chance of saving you.” “You said Mor gana was with you?” “She was, she passed over into A valon as well. It took her a long time to come to terms with everything that happened. She was certain that she belonged in hell, but I told her that it was not her fault, that it was Mor gause. W e forgave each other and she moved on…she is with Mordred now .” Arthur nodded, “Mordred, he didn’ t deserve his fate either .” Merlin lowered his head, “If I had followed my heart and helped him and Mor gana…” “Merlin, enough now, what’ s done is done. I do not want to waste any more time dwelling on the past. I have my son, I have you and I am high king over all of Albion. All five kingdoms united under one rule, peace and prosperity, and freedom. None of it would be possible without you.” “All I did was keep your arse alive, ” Merlin grinned. “You really want your old job back?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Yes, unless you already have a servant of course.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I haven’ t had a servant since you died. Other than the basic duties. Y ou always said I needed to learn to do things for myself. So, I did.” “Amazing, ” Merlin laughed, “Y ou dress yourself and everything?” “I even do my own laundry .” “Oh, now I know you are lying, ” Merlin chuckled. “Ok, I send my laundry out to be done, ” Arthur shrugged, “But I get myself up in the morning. Of course, my speeches are not as good as the ones you wrote for me.” “If you no longer have need of a manservant perhaps, I could take over Gaius and Geof frey’ s jobs and begin to rebuild the collection of magic books now that you have lifted the ban.” “That would be good, ” Arthur nodded, “Perhaps you could write your own books to hopefully begin to undo the damage my father did. So, people will understand that magic is not evil.” Merlin looked at his king with tears in his eyes, “I used to dream of the day that you would see the good in magic…to be free to use the gifts I was born with.” “You are free now, Merlin. I will give you anything you want, just ask.” “Right now, I think you should get some sleep, ” Merlin smiled, “Y ou’re exhausted.” “I am, I guess I’m just afraid I’ll fall asleep and wake up and you will be gone.” “Sleep, Arthur, I promise I will be here when you wake.” “You should rest too.” “I have been resting for more than three years. I am enjoying the feeling of being alive again. I think I will go join the others for some food.” “You’ll come back, ” Arthur said. “I will, ” Merlin smiled and then started to get to his feet, but Arthur took hold of his wrist. “Merlin…I just want to do things right this time. I don’ t want to deny my feelings anymore. But I will not do anything unless it is what you want too. The last thing I want to do is hurt you again.” “Arthur, I want to be with you. It is all I have ever wanted.” Arthur drew him close and kissed Merlin again, “Good because now that I’ve kissed you…I don’t think I can stop.” “Mmm, I wholeheartedly consent, ” Merlin grinned then kissed him back. “Now get some sleep, Sire. Physician’ s orders.” Arthur laughed and then laid down on his bedroll next to Gavin. Merlin waved a hand and covered him with a blanket. His eyes flashed and the fire grew warmer . He then got up and walked over to where Gwaine and Percival were sitting around the fire pretending they had not been watching them the entire time. “May I join you?” Merlin asked and Gwaine grinned. “Merlin, damn it is good to see you, ” he said pulling him down to sit on the log next to him, “Are you all right?” “I’m good I think, ” Merlin nodded, “Still trying to get my bearings. Nothing like having your soul yanked out of A valon and slammed back into a somehow reformed body to leave you feeling a bit disoriented and overwhelmed.” “I cannot even imagine…” Percival said shaking his head. “Is there any food left?” Merlin asked. “Lots…here you go, ” Gwaine said and handed Merlin a plate of stew and some bread, “It is not as good as yours. I missed your cooking.” “How’ s Arthur?” Percival asked. “Exhausted, but relieved to have his son, ” Merlin said. “How on earth did you find him?” Gwaine asked. “He called to me, his magic…Arthur thinks that what I did, my magic being released somehow it found its way to Gavin while Gwen was pregnant.” “That’ s possible, ” Gwaine nodded, “It brought me back from the dead. Who knows what else it did? Thank you, by the way .” “You’re welcome, ” Merlin grinned. “You and Arthur…” Percival said raising an eyebrow . “We’ll see…I am not even sure that this is permanent.” “Avalon is not getting you back without a fight, ” Gwaine said his voice rough, “Not losing you again. Even if I have to of fer myself up to appease the Goddess.” “I’ll never let you do that for me. Gwaine, you should know, I met your father, ” Merlin smiled, “He said he is very proud of you.” “My father?” Gwaine asked, tears filling his eyes, “He knows…” Merlin nodded, “I told him all about you. I used my magic to let him see you.” “Thank you, Merlin, that means a lot.” “Apparently, he and my father knew each other when they were young boys.” “Really?” Gwaine asked, “Guess that explains why you and I got on so well from the moment we met. I felt a connection to you.” “Being in A valon many things became so clear, ” Merlin said. “What do you mean?” Percival asked. Merlin glanced over at Arthur, “I met Arthur ’s mother .” “What was she like?” Gwaine asked. “Beautiful, sweet, loving, she had me tell her everything about Arthur and she told me the truth about Uther and what he did. She was happy and relieved to know that he was safe and happy .” “Did you tell Arthur?” Percival asked. “Not yet, ” Merlin shook his head, “I will though. He is exhausted, I want him to rest. I am going to take over Gaius’ position as physician and Geof frey’ s position as librarian.” “Arthur never even bothered to replace you, ” Gwaine said, “No one measured up. Though I think it had more to do with grief and loneliness than anything else. He really struggled after losing you, Merlin. It changed him. Then he lost Gwen and if it had not been for Gavin…” “I did not think my death would af fect him like that. What is the life of a servant compared to that of a king? W e were friends but I thought he would be all right in time.” Percival and Gwaine looked at each other knowingly . “Merlin, anyone who spent any time at all around you and Arthur knew that there was some deeper bond. Y ou were far more to him than a servant or even friend, ” Percival said. “Arthur told me things after your death, ” Gwaine said, “Things I will not repeat because it is not my place to do so. Merlin, you have this second chance you need to talk to him…really talk. Get him to tell you himself. And by the Gods, do not let anything or anyone come between you again.” “Yes, ” Merlin nodded, “I just wish I knew what all of this means. If I am back permanently or if I was released from A valon just to help Gavin.” “There is someone who might be able to tell you, ” Gwaine said then looked up to the sky . “If my Dragonlord gift still works. When my father died it passed to me. When I died, I had no son for it to go to.” “Only one way to find out, ” Percival smiled. “If not, then Arthur can call him, ” Gwaine said. “Arthur?” Merlin asked eyebrows lifting. “Through his sword, he can call Kilgharrah, ” Percival nodded. “Yeah, he and old Killy have a bond and Gavin just loves the giant lizard. Kilgharrah helped in the search until he was ready to drop from the sky . Arthur sent him away to rest. The dragon missed you too, Merlin, ” Gwaine said. “I will call him in the morning, before we leave for Camelot, ” Merlin said, “I should also check on Aithusa. God knows where she is now, what happened to her after Camlann.” “Aithusa?” Percival asked. “The white dragon…the egg I rescued from the T omb of Ashkanar and hatched, ” Merlin grinned. “So that’ s where Mor gana got the dragon, ” the lar ger man said. “Yes, I was so focused on protecting Arthur that I abandoned her and Mor gana…” Merlin said, his voice trailing of f and he let out a rough breath. “I made so many mistakes.” “And you did so much good as well, Merlin. Always remember that, ” Gwaine embraced him then drew back, patting his cheek. “This is a new beginning, my friend. Let go of the past and live now or you will miss out on so much. When you brought me back from the dead, I was so damn grateful for a fresh start. A chance to do better, and I think I have.” Percival nodded then chuckled, “Still drinks too much though.” “That doesn’ t surprise me, ” Merlin laughed. “We can’ t all be perfect, ” Gwaine laughed heartily then he looked into Merlin’ s eyes, his mirth fading, “It is really good to have you back, Merlin. How do you feel…I mean do you feel like you?” Merlin shook his head, “It is hard to explain. I mean, this body is mine, but all the scars are gone. Is it strange that I miss them?” “Not strange at all, ” Percival said, “Y ou earned every one of them. They told your story .” “I don’ t even know if I am still immortal. My magic is more powerful.” “Well, I think it is safe to say you are still human, ” Gwaine said, “Y ou can still be hurt, Merlin. So, maybe this time, you will be a little more careful and not take so many risks.” Merlin smiled, “Let’ s hope I won’ t have reason to this time around.” “What do you think Arthur will do to Alined…his son?” Percival asked. “Unless we can find absolute proof that they were involved in Gavin’ s kidnapping there is little he can do. He cannot accuse them without it, or we will have a war on our hands, ” Gwaine said. “I let Alvarr go, he might have provided proof, ” Merlin frowned. “Not likely, ” Percival shook his head, “The traitor Magne, he is our only link and he’ s dead.” “There has to be someone else, someone who knew Arthur planned to visit Kilgharrah and that Gavin would be with him, ” Gwaine said. “Then we need to find out who it was, ” Merlin said. “Tomorrow…right now, we need sleep, ” Percival smiled then reached out to squeeze Merlin’ s shoulder . “W elcome home, Merlin.” He got up and moved over to his bedroll flopped down on it and let out a sigh closing his eyes. “You should sleep too, Gwaine, ” Merlin said. “Aren’ t you tired? “A little, I guess.” “Are you sure you’re okay?” “Yeah, it’ s just a lot…” “Here’ s a bedroll for you, go get some rest. W e have a long ride back to Camelot tomorrow and you are going to cause quite a stir when we get there.” “The people probably won’ t even remember me, ” Merlin said accepting the spare bedroll. “Wait and see, ” Gwaine winked then laid down on his own bedroll, “Good night, Merlin.” “Good night, Gwaine, ” Merlin hesitated for a moment then got up walking back over to where Arthur and Gavin were sleeping. He laid out his bedroll then sat down by the fire and added more wood. He glanced over at Arthur and smiled as he saw Gavin curled up in his father ’s arms, both sleeping soundly . With a whispered word he adjusted the blanket over them, and Arthur stirred, his eyes fluttering open. “Gavin, ” he whispered reassuring himself that his son was still there. He then looked at Merlin with a smile, “Merlin…” “Go back to sleep, Arthur . I am not going anywhere, ” Merlin grinned. “Sorry, I didn’ t mean to wake you.” “Are you all right?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Y ou all keep asking me that. I’m good…really .” “Come here, Merlin, ” Arthur said rolling onto his back, holding his hand out. “Arthur?” “Come here, please, ” Arthur reached over and pulled Merlin’ s bedroll closer, “Lay down.” “Yes, Y our Majesty, ” Merlin grinned and sat down taking of f his boots and cloak then Arthur tugged his sleeve sliding an arm around his shoulder and drawing him close, covering him with part of the blanket. “Just let me hold you, ” Arthur said softly . Merlin did not ar gue he let out a breath and shifted onto his side resting his head on Arthur ’s shoulder . He smiled and Arthur ran his fingers through his hair . “There, much better .” “You sure this is a good idea, ” Merlin grinned. “Yes, Merlin. Now go to sleep.” Merlin closed his eyes, listening to the beating of Arthur ’s heart. He felt the warmth of his breath and wondered for a moment if they could really be like this from now on. Could they really be together the way he always wanted, but never thought possible? “You’re thinking, Merlin, ” Arthur said sleepily . “Sorry…” “Everything will be all right.” “If you say so, Sire.” “I do and I’m the king, so I am always right.” Merlin lifted his head to look into Arthur ’s eyes. “Are you ever going to change?” “No, you’d get bored, ” Arthur grinned drawing Merlin’ s head back down, “Sleep.” Homecoming Arthur woke up to Gavin patting his cheek. “Father, wake up.” “I’m awake, ” Arthur said looking around his heart jumped as he realized Merlin was not there. His boots and cloak were gone. W as he gone? “Merlin!” “Merlin is going to call Killy, ” Gavin smiled. Arthur sat up, slipped on his boots, grabbed his jacket, and got to his feet. He scooped up Gavin and carried him through their camp. Merlin was standing in a clearing with his cloak on, the hood down. His dark hair sticking up. “Merlin?” Arthur asked. Merlin turned to look at him, eyes shining with tears, and shook his head, “What if it doesn’ t work? What if I have lost that part of me…the only thing I had of my father?” “You won’ t know until you try, Merlin, ” Arthur shook his head shifting Gavin’ s weight onto his hip. “Go ahead.” Merlin nodded wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his cloak and took a deep breath. “Here goes, ” he said, then tilting his head back he focused and let out a roar followed by the ancient words he knew so well. His magic sur ged carrying the call higher and further over the land. “It worked…at least I think it did, ” he turned to look at Arthur who was staring at him in awe. “Merlin, that was incredible, ” the king said. “Can I do that?” Gavin asked with a giggle. “Afraid not, little one, ” Merlin grinned. It was several minutes before they heard the familiar sound of leathery wings in the air . Kilgharrah circled and then landed with a thud, bowing his head to Merlin. “Young W arlock, you have returned, ” the dragon said his eyes bright. “Hello, old friend, ” Merlin said, “I was not sure you would hear me. If I had lost my Dragonlord gift when I died.” “Your Dragonlord power is yours, Merlin, a part of your soul, ” Kilgharrah said with a toothy smile, “I missed you.” “I missed you too, ” Merlin said, “I need to know if this is permanent. W ill I live now, or must I return to A valon?” “You will live, Merlin, you are once again needed in this world. Not only to protect Arthur but to help Gavin learn to use and control his magic.” “His magic…did it come from Merlin, because of what he did that day?” “Yes, King Arthur, ” the dragon said, “When Merlin’ s magic was released, it absorbed and transformed Mor gana’ s eclipsing her darkness, purifying her in a way, as she died. It healed you and I and as you know brought Sir Gwaine back from the dead. Gavin is a special child, for not only is he the son of the Once and Future King, who himself was born of magic, but he is the balance. For when Merlin died the world needed him to be that balance. T o keep magic alive in the world until such time that Merlin would return to guide him.” “Is that what happened during the Great Pur ge?” Arthur asked. “Yes, it resulted in rampant magic with no balance. That balance was Merlin. Born into the world to both contain and sustain the magic. He was born with magic as you were born of magic, two sides of the same coin.” “Balance, ” Merlin said looking at Arthur intently . Kilgharrah nodded, “Y ou may have defied the prophecies, Y oung W arlock, but prophecy always finds a way in the end. Y ou altered the path, and they merely found a new route to the same destination.” Arthur smiled, “Then Merlin can stay…he’ s home for good?” “He is, ” Kilgharrah nodded. “And my immortality?” Merlin asked. “That part of the prophecy no longer exists because Arthur did not die, and you have returned. So, that I cannot answer .” “Who can?” Arthur asked. “Perhaps you can summon the Goddess herself for answers, ” Kilgharrah said. “Maybe one day, right now I am just glad to be alive and back with the people I love.” “Killy, ” Gavin giggled, and Arthur placed him on the ground. Kilgharrah chuckled and lowered his head. “I am so relieved to see you are safe, little prince.” “Thank you for all you did, Kilgharrah, ” Arthur said, “I owe you a great debt.” “It is I who owed you a debt for the crimes I committed against Camelot long ago. I was blinded by rage and sought revenge against your father . I should never have attacked the innocent.” Arthur nodded, “Y ou helped the kingdom as well, Kilgharrah. And I cannot honestly say that, if I had been kept prisoner in that cavern for twenty years, I would not have done the same.” “Kilgharrah, do you know where Aithusa is? Is she alive?” Merlin asked. “She is alive, your magic healed her as well. She is no longer deformed and crippled and lives in the White Mountains.” “Does—does she hate me?” “No, Y oung W arlock, she could never hate you. Y ou brought her into the world…called her from her egg. Y ou are her Dragonlord.” “And I abandoned her, ” Merlin said his voice edged with regret and sadness. “Aithusa understands. I am certain if you call for her, she will come to you.” “Perhaps I will go to her one day, ” Merlin smiled. “I am certain she would be pleased to see you. For now, you need to focus on settling back into your life here in Camelot. Much has changed since you died. Y ou are needed.” “Thank you, Kilgharrah for everything, ” Arthur nodded. “You are most welcome, Great King, ” the dragon bowed, “I must go now . It is so good to have you back Merlin. Enjoy this life.” “I will, ” Merlin smiled, and they watched as he launched into the air and circled overhead a few times before flying away . Then he turned to Arthur and laughed, “I think that is the first time I ever heard him give a straight answer . All I ever got before were riddles.” Arthur nodded, “W e spoke a lot after you died. He told me how much he regretted some of the decisions he made. That he should have told you everything from the beginning.” “I’m not certain it would have made a dif ference, ” Merlin shook his head. “Are you ready to go home?” Arthur asked?” “Gods, yes, ” Merlin grinned. “Pack up, men, let’ s get back to Camelot, ” Arthur ordered. They rode into the square a few hours later and Merlin’ s eyes lit up as he saw his home for the first time in over three years. Arthur smiled as he watched him take it all in. The city and the lower town had expanded a great deal in the time he was gone. Much lar ger and nicer houses had replaced tiny hovels and huts. Gwen’ s house had been expanded and fixed up for Hunith because she felt more comfortable there than in the palace. Though she did have a room in Gavin’ s chambers. The people came out of their houses to greet their king and the young prince as they returned. They had all been devastated to hear that Gavin had been taken, they were relieved, and overjoyed to have him back home. But it was Merlin who created the most jubilation. Arthur grinned as the people began to notice him and started calling out his name. Merlin! Merlin has r eturned! Merlin! He is back! Merlin is home! “I don’ t understand…I didn’ t expect…” Merlin shook his head and looked at Arthur . “I promised to honor you and your sacrifices for me and for Camelot.” “You did, ” Merlin’ s eyes narrowed, and his eyebrows raised, “What did you do?” “Well, it started with the celebration outside the walls after you died, people came from all around including royalty . Annis and Mithian and so many others who wanted to remember you and to honor your sacrifice and to say their goodbyes to a young man they had always known was special. I got to hear endless stories of people you had helped…people you had saved. It turned into a yearly celebration growing lar ger every time. Druids came here to tell the stories of the great Emrys, ” Arthur smiled, “Y ou believed people would have for gotten about you, but Merlin, you touched far too many lives for that to happen. Y our people love you.” “My people, ” Merlin said softly, shaking his head. “Your people, Merlin. They have held out hope for your return and now here you are, ” Arthur grinned. “But I don’ t deserve…” “Yes, you do.” Riding up to the steps they dismounted. Merlin was immediately swarmed by people. Hunith came down the steps with Leon and they both froze seeing who was at the center of the commotion. “Merlin!” Hunith cried out and ran down the steps the crowd parted to let her through, “My God, Merlin! Y ou’re home!” she choked back tears as she threw her arms around his neck holding him so tight. Merlin had tears in his eyes rocking her gently . “Mother, ” he said, his voice breaking. “My beautiful boy, ” Hunith gasped cupping his cheek, “Y ou’re really here.” “I am, mother, I love you, ” Merlin grinned then hugged her tighter . Arthur climbed the steps with Gavin in his arms and looked around at all the people. He smiled and called out over the crowd, “Please, give Merlin some time to adjust and to spend with his mother . I promise in the coming days we will have a celebration. Spread the word and join us in welcoming home Camelot’ s most beloved servant, friend, and warlock…as it was he who rescued Prince Gavin and returned him to me.” The people cheered and chanted Merlin’ s name as they patted his back and shoulder and slowly moved away leaving him standing with his mother his eyes wide and his mouth open in stunned silence uncertain what to say . “Merlin, ” Arthur said then motioned for him and Hunith to follow . Leon met Merlin halfway up the steps, “Merlin…” “Sir Leon, ” Merlin smiled. “It’s really you, ” the knight said shaking his head then with a wide grin he embraced Merlin cupping the back of his head. “Thank the Gods, you were missed around here, brother .” “I wasn’ t expecting this reception, ” Merlin chuckled, and Leon smiled. “Best prepare yourself then because there is more to come.” “He’ s right, Merlin, ” Hunith beamed. “I guess I’m just not used to everyone knowing who I really am…what I’ve done.” Gwaine and Percival came up the steps behind them. Gwaine put an arm around Merlin, “And you said people wouldn’ t remember you.” “Come along, ” Hunith said taking Gavin from Arthur, “Let’ s get you boys fed and this little one needs a bath and sleep.” “Thank you, Hunith, ” Arthur said then kissed Gavin’ s head. “I need to go with Arthur first, ” Merlin said. “Very well, it is so good to have you back.” “I love you, mother .” Arthur headed up the steps and Merlin followed him. He glanced back at Merlin and grinned. “What?” Merlin asked. “Nothing, just so damn happy, ” Arthur said then he grabbed the sleeve of Merlin’ s cloak and pulled him into the empty council chambers, and shut the door . “I know it is a lot and you are feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Merlin, I want…” Merlin silenced him with a deep kiss, his hands tugging Arthur closer . “Overwhelm me, please, ” he said huskily, and Arthur deepened the kiss. “Gods, Merlin, ” Arthur whispered against his lips. “You really want me, ” Merlin said. “Yes…” Arthur moaned kissing him deeper and harder his hand sliding around to the back of Merlin’ s neck holding him there as he backed him up against the door . “Always, Merlin…” “Ah, Arthur, ” Merlin gasped tipping his head back and Arthur chuckled. “Sorry, I got a bit carried away .” “No, I started it, ” he grinned. Arthur looked into his eyes, “Merlin, did you ever…were you ever with anyone?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “When did I have time? Besides, there was always only you, and if I couldn’ t have you then I didn’ t want anyone. I loved Freya, but that was doomed from the start.” “I’m so sorry, ” Arthur said pressing his forehead to Merlin’ s. Merlin smiled, “Don’ t be.” “I am going to do everything in my power to make it up to you, Merlin. I promise you.” “I understand if you don’ t want to be together in public.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, I want everyone to know what you mean to me. What you have always meant to me. I wish I had known how you felt about me.” “It wouldn’ t have mattered, ” Merlin said. “I do know one thing, ” Arthur said, “If I had known how you felt about me, I am not sure I could have resisted. I was always so afraid…scared that if I had approached you, you would give yourself to me out of duty only and nothing more. I could not bear to use you in such a way.” “Arthur, I am yours, I have always been yours, ” Merlin grinned kissing him tenderly . “And I am yours, Merlin.” A knock on the door startled them and they laughed. Merlin stepped aside and Arthur opened the door and the room filled with the people of the court ready for their king to inform them of the events of the past couple of days. Arthur moved to the front of the room and told everyone what happened. “We should retaliate against King Alined, ” one of the lords spoke up. “I have reason to believe that it was not King Alined, but his son, Prince Amren who orchestrated the kidnapping. He is bitter and angry that I now have dominion over the kingdom he is due to inherit once Alined is gone, ” Arthur said. “As he sees it, his father signed away his birthright to me. In taking Gavin, I believe he wanted to force my hand and start a war . I will not give him the war he wants. I will send a messenger to Deorham to inform the king what his son has done and let him decide what shall be done. My son is safe thanks to Merlin, ” Arthur smiled meeting Merlin’ s gaze then motioned for him to join him. Merlin held his head high as he moved to stand next to his king causing gasps and muttering from the court. “As you can see, Merlin has returned. He rescued Gavin and returned him to me. Y et again proving his love and loyalty to Camelot. There will be many changes in the upcoming days. You should all be aware that my relationship with Merlin has also changed. I love him deeply and he loves me.” The gasps of surprise and some of disgust came from the court and Arthur looked at them intently . “If any of you have a problem with that, I will be more than happy to relieve you of your position in this court.” “Your majesty, you married a servant, but this…Merlin is…” a man spoke up his voice trembling. “Merlin is what?” Arthur asked his eyes narrowing. “Merlin’ s a sorcerer and, Sire, he’ s a man…” “Thank you for pointing that out, Lord Bishop, I was not aware, ” Arthur glared at him, and the others smiled awkwardly . Merlin had to stifle a laugh. “Merlin is also the other half of my soul. He has given everything for me and Camelot. From now on you will show him the same respect as you show me. I am your king. Do not for get that and do not question me again. I have hidden my feelings for Merlin out of duty for far too long. I love him and we are going to be together .” “Yes, My Lord, ” Lord Bishop bowed, “I apologize, please for give me.” “Good, ” Arthur grinned, “If that is all you are dismissed.” After they all left Merlin turned to Arthur and lost it. He laughed so hard, and Arthur joined in. “The look on his face, ” Merlin chuckled nearly doubling over in laughter, “Like he was sucking on a pickled egg.” Arthur pulled Merlin close and kissed him, “It is good to hear you laugh like that again. I missed it. I missed seeing your smile.” “But Y our Majesty, I am a man, ” Merlin deadpanned then busted up laughing again. “A very beautiful and intoxicating man, ” Arthur said cupping his cheek. “Can I ask you something?” “Yes…anything.” “I cannot help but feel like us being together is disrespectful to Gwen. I feel like I am betraying her . Are you sure?” “Merlin, Guinevere knew…I told her . After you died, I told her what you meant to me. She already knew . I think she would be happy for us. I think she would want us to be together .” “You told her, and she wasn’ t upset?” “Not at all. She understood because a part of her would always love Lancelot the way part of me would always love you. She loved you too, Merlin.” Merlin nodded, tears in his eyes, “I am glad…I would never want. And Gavin…” “Gavin loved you even before he met you. I told him everything about you and our adventures together .” Merlin smiled, “Y ou did.” “Yes, I am required to tell him one of our stories before bed every night before he goes to sleep.” “Maybe I could tell him a story sometime.” “I guarantee he will be demanding just that.” “Can we really do this? Be together…be a family?” “Is that what you want?” Arthur asked softly and Merlin nodded. “More than anything.” “Then that is what you shall have.” “Um, I should see about sorting out the physician’ s chambers and my old room. And if you still want me to take over Geof frey’ s duties as well…the library probably needs cleaning and organizing. Then there is the secret room…” “Secret room?” Arthur asked raising an eyebrow . “Yeah, the room where I found and released the Goblin.” “Ah yes, I remember that all too well.” “There are magic books in there that need to be collected and cataloged.” Arthur smiled and placed a hand on Merlin’ s neck, “There is plenty of time for that. Y ou need to take a few days and settle in. As for your old room, you will not be needing it if you move into my chambers with me.” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want me to move into your chambers?” “When you are ready, yes, ” Arthur blushed, “I mean if you want to. I don’ t want to push.” “Arthur, I want to, believe me, but for the sake of the kingdom perhaps we should ease them into this…what we are now . Some will not like that we are together .” “I guess you’re right, ” Arthur said, “I should probably find a way to explain things to Gavin too before we go that far .” Merlin leaned in and kissed Arthur, “We need to tell my mother too.” “I didn’ t think about that, ” Arthur shook his head, “Do you think she will object?” “I really don’ t know . I mean, I think she always knew that I had feelings for you, so that will not come as a surprise. But us actually acting on those feelings might.” “Merlin, as long as you know without a doubt that this is real and that I love you. No matter what anyone thinks about it, I do not care. I am tired of burying my feelings and denying myself the one person I need more than anyone.” “I will never doubt that…not now…not ever, Arthur .” Arthur kissed him deeply then nodded, “Y ou should go to your mother .” “I will find you later, ” Merlin smiled. “I should talk to my men, ” Arthur nodded. “I’m sure Gwaine and Percival have already told them, ” Merlin chuckled, “And I am fairly certain the castle gossip mill is in full swing.” “Yes, I used to hear things. People thought you and I were…that I was taking advantage of you back then. They assumed that just because I was not bedding every woman in the kingdom …” “I know, I heard the stories too, ” Merlin chuckled, and Arthur looked at him. “Why didn’ t you ever say anything? I would have put a stop to it had I known. If my father had ever gotten wind of the rumors, he would have removed you from my service or worse. I thought my keeping quiet about it would make them stop.” Merlin smiled, “T o be honest, I did not mind. I never set them straight. I just let them think what they wanted to think and a part of me liked having them think that because people left me alone and I guess because I wanted it to be true. When I used to get you ready for bed at night, I used to wish you would ask me to stay . To take care of those needs for you.” Arthur nodded, “And I used to fight the ur ge to ask you to. W e were both stupid. W e could have been together back then.” “But then would you have married Gwen?” Merlin asked, “Y ou wouldn’ t have Gavin.” “I do not know what I would have done. Which is why I don’ t want to waste any more time, Merlin. As soon as you are ready and we tell everyone, I want you to move into my chambers and become my consort.” Merlin’ s eye widened, “That is quite of ficial.” “Yes, it is, and I want to make sure that you are protected in every way . No one will ever again treat you as less than you are, Merlin. I swear to you.” “I don’ t need anything of ficial, just to be with you.” “Yes, I know, but if anything should happen to me before Gavin is old enough. I want you to be protected and cared for . You will rule by my side in whatever capacity you wish, but I need to know that you are safe. Y ou have been through so much and lost so much because of me. And while I know I can never undo the damage or repay that debt; this is one way that I can at least begin to make amends.” “Arthur, you don’ t owe me anything, ” Merlin said, tears in his eyes. “But I do, Merlin…and I am going to make sure you are loved and happy . “All right, ” Merlin nodded then looked toward the door, “I should go now .” “Go, ” Arthur kissed him and then watched as he left the room a soft smile on his face. “There you are, my boy, ” Hunith said as Merlin came through the door of the physician’ s chambers his eyes taking in the room. “I kept it as Gaius had it just in case you returned and wanted to take over .” “I missed this place so much, ” Merlin smiled, his eyes brimming with tears, “I left Gaius.” “Merlin, Gaius loved you, ” Hunith said, “Losing you broke his heart, but he understood. He missed you so much, but he told me that it did not surprise him that you chose to sacrifice yourself for Arthur . That it was your destiny, no matter the cost, to make sure Arthur lived.” “He’ s my friend, I could not let him die. He had to live.” “Merlin, I am your mother . I know you are in love with Arthur, you have been since the beginning. And seeing you two together this morning…I am not blind. Arthur loves you too.” Merlin smiled, “W e are um…” “I know and I am pleased, ” Hunith laughed and embraced him, “Now sit down and eat. T ell your old mum everything. Starting with that father of yours. I am sorry I kept the truth from you about Balinor, Merlin…I just thought it would be safer for you. W e loved each other deeply and it hurt him so much to leave me.” “I know, ” Merlin nodded. “How is he? I mean other than the obvious.” “He is at peace, he helped me so much. I am so proud of him. Honored to be his son.” “And I am certain he is as proud of you as I am.” “Mother, are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am just happy to have my son back.” “I am glad you stayed in Camelot.” Hunith nodded, “I could not leave Arthur with a baby boy to raise. Losing Gwen was devastating for him.” Merlin rested his arms on the table as his mother placed a plate in front of him. “His own mother died giving birth to him…history repeating itself. I wish I had been able to save them both.” “What do you mean?” Hunith asked her brow creasing. “I sensed Arthur ’s despair and fear . I begged the Goddess to save them. She forced me to choose…Gwen or the baby…I chose the baby . When Gwen crossed over to A valon, I told her what happened and she was grateful, but I still feel like I should have done more.” “Well, as a mother, I can assure you that the life of her son was all that mattered to Guinevere.” “I just feel guilty .” “Have you told Arthur?” “Not yet. I need to. I’m not sure how .” “I am certain that he will feel the same as the queen. Gavin is his son and his heir . He dotes on that boy, and never fails to be there when he goes to bed so he can tell him a story and kiss him good night. Arthur is always telling him how proud he is of him.” “That is because Uther never gave Arthur the love and support that he needed and deserved. I think, deep down, he blamed Arthur for Ygraine’ s death when it was his doing. He used magic and when the price was her life, he lashed out at everyone and everything with magic instead of facing up to his own guilt. Arthur suf fered his entire life trying to please that man and he is determined that Gavin never feels the way he did.” “Arthur is a wonderful father, ” Hunith smiled, “And I think you will be as well.” “Me?” “Yes, Merlin, if you are going to be with Arthur, you will be Gavin’ s father as well.” Merlin smiled, “I guess I hadn’ t thought of it that way .” “It is good that Arthur told him all about you the last three years.” “I know I will need to help him with his magic. Kilgharrah said that his magic came from me. I don’ t quite understand how exactly . But when my magic was released, it healed him and Arthur and brought Gwaine back to life and somehow found its way to Gavin when Gwen was pregnant with him.” “That makes sense, ” Hunith nodded as she began to eat, “Gwen did tell me that the day before Arthur returned to Camelot, she had a dream. She said she felt something, a calming warmth wash over her and she just knew that Arthur was alive.” Merlin picked at his food and shook his head, “I am grateful to be back. I just hope it isn’ t because of some impending doom. I just want to live here with you, Arthur and Gavin, and our friends. T o not have to fight anymore.” “Magic is legal now, there have been no magical attacks in years.” “And we have Alined’ s son trying to start a war and using Gavin to do it.” “I am fairly certain that when word gets out that you are back at Arthur ’s side, he will rethink his plans. He had little chance of beating Arthur before, with you here now…the enemies of Camelot will not dare to challenge him.” “I hope you’re right.” “So, are you going to take over for Gaius?” Merlin nodded, “And Geof frey.” “Really?” “Arthur doesn’ t need a servant anymore. I need to do my part in bringing back magic. Educating people and allaying their fears and prejudices against those with magic. Arthur asked me to write my own books to add to the library and I plan to collect all the surviving books and such that still exist in the secret room. This is what I was always meant to do and now I am back I can fulfill this part of the prophecy .” “I will be happy to assist you here, ” Hunith said. “I would love that.” “I assume you will be moving into Arthur ’s chambers?” she asked with a knowing smile. Merlin chuckled and nodded, “He asked me to. I wanted to tell you first. And we need to give people time to adjust to the idea that their king is in love with his warlock.” “Merlin, don’ t you dare let anyone else keep you from the man you love.” “Mother, it is not that simple?” “Isn’ t it?” Hunith asked raising an eyebrow, “You nearly lost each other forever . Do you really plan to let what others think keep you apart just because a few might get upset? Arthur loves you and he wants to be with you. Do not waste a single second of this new life, Merlin.” “I won’ t, ” Merlin smiled. “I really need to find some clothes. I stole these from a village after the Lake of A valon spit me out naked and disoriented.” “Then it is a good thing that Gaius and I kept all your belongings. Y ou will find everything in your old room. Including your magic book and the Sidhe staf f and whatever else you had hidden beneath the floorboards.” “Really?” Merlin asked, “Why was everyone so certain that I would return?” “We had faith Merlin, because to believe anything else was too painful. Arthur believed more than anyone. He would visit the lake often and speak with Kilgharrah on a regular basis. He was convinced that one day you would return.” “I didn’ t know, ” Merlin said. “The man loves you.” “Arthur said that he told Gwen, after I died, he told her what I meant to him.” “Yes, Gwen and I talked about it. She adored you, Merlin. She was so grateful to have Arthur alive and well and the kingdom was safe from Mor gana at last. She knew you loved Arthur and that he loved you.” “I am really scared that if I accept that this is all real, that I can finally have Arthur…” “You’re afraid something will happen to take it all away .” “Yes.” “Then all the more reason to live in the present, my boy .” “You’re right.” “Of course, I am, ” Hunith beamed, “Now finish your food and go find your king.” “I am really glad you’re here, ” Merlin smiled. “Nowhere I would rather be. Before you go, you should clean up and change your clothes.” “Wish I had a tub. I could really use a bath.” “There’ s one in your room, ” Hunith smiled, “Arthur had it brought in here for me before I moved to Gwen’ s old house. Should I have water brought in?” Merlin grinned, “I think I can handle it.” “Good, ” Hunith got up wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek, “I do love you, my boy . I need to take some salve to Evoric then I am going home for the evening. Give Arthur my love.” “Yes, mother, ” Merlin chuckled. “See you tomorrow, ” Hunith laughed then left the room closing the door behind her . Merlin got up cleaned their plates with a word then moved about the room touching every surface, inhaling the familiar scent of herbs and woodsmoke. T ears came to his eyes as he remembered Gaius, his snoring, and the eyebrow that struck fear in the strongest knight. “Gods, I miss you, old friend, ” Merlin said softly, trailing his fingers along the stone hearth. He moved a chest from the table to the shelf where it had always been. He looked around then headed up the steps to his old room pushing the door open to find it just as he had left it except for the lar ge oval wooden tub by the wall. He tilted his head holding out a hand and the tub filled with steaming hot water and all the candles in the room flared to life casting a golden glow around the walls of the room he never thought he would see again. Opening the cupboard, he found his clothes clean and folded. His neckerchiefs and belts and his favorite brown jacket and two pairs of his boots. Hanging up on hooks were three brand- new tunics, blue, purple, and red. There were two new pairs of trousers dark blue and black, and a new pair of black boots. “Arthur, ” he smiled, “Y ou really did believe I would return.” Stripping of f his clothes and boots he slipped into the water with a deep sigh and closed his eyes. He felt a rush of emotions…grief, longing, pain, anguish…like sliding into a pit so deep and dark he could easily get lost in it. Then there was love, like a beacon, shining bright and clear showing him the way back out. His shoulders trembled, tears sliding down his face as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyelids. Arthur climbed the steps to Merlin’ s old room, he stopped at the door as he heard Merlin’ s quiet sobs. He splayed his hand against the wood not sure whether to intrude or to walk away . Shaking his head, he let out a breath and pushed the door open. He saw Merlin in the tub, head down. He closed the door and crossed the floor to kneel next to the tub. “Merlin, ” he whispered placing a hand on the back of his head then gently caressed his neck, “Merlin, you are home…you’re here with me. Everything is going to be all right.” Arthur leaned forward pressing his lips to the back of Merlin’ s shoulder . It scared him to no end to see him like this, so broken and vulnerable. “Merlin, look at me, please, ” he said, and Merlin turned his head, his eyes wide and dark with pain. “Arthur, ” he said. “I’m sorry, ” Arthur said brushing his thumb over the sensitive place behind Merlin’ s ear. Merlin shook his head, “I just…everything just hit me…” “I know, believe me…I’ve had many of those moments in the last few years. I understand.” “I mean, I am so grateful to be home…” “But you feel overwhelmed by all that you have lost.” Merlin nodded, “And I’m really scared, Arthur…that all this…that we…” He shook his head then leaned back, resting it on the edge of the tub. “Me too, ” Arthur said then leaned over to grab the washcloth and soap. He slowly and tenderly began to wash the dirt and grime from Merlin’ s neck and chest. “Just lie back, I’m going to look after you for a change.” “You don’ t have to, ” Merlin shook his head. “Yes, I do, ” Arthur said as he raised Merlin’ s right arm out of the water easing the soap and cloth over his pale skin and lean muscles wrapping a hand around his slender wrist as he washed his long fingers and palm before pressing his lips to the center of it. “Y ou took care of me, but you had no one to take care of you. That changes now .” “Arthur…” “Shh, close your eyes and just let me do this, Merlin, ” Arthur said then took hold of his left arm repeating the motions. He leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s chest. The scars that Merlin used to have were gone…where there had once been raised white jagged ridges of flesh, was now smooth pale white skin. “This is strange, ” Merlin gave a husky moan as Arthur ’s hand slid down his stomach to his hip and down his thigh to his knee lifting it from the water to wash it. He repeated the motion with the other leg and Merlin let out a shaky breath and an even deeper moan. “Feel good, does it?” Arthur asked with a crooked grin. “It’s not unpleasant, ” Merlin trembled and let out a gasp as his king slid a hand up his inner thigh hesitating just a moment before going further, slowly wrapping around his fully hard cock. “Arthur!” he growled, and Arthur laughed softly . “Finally, ” he said slowly stroking Merlin as he leaned over and kissed him. “Gods, Arthur…” “You are much bigger than I imagined, ” Arthur said against his lips. “You imagined my…” Merlin’ s laugh was cut of f by a guttural groan of pleasure as Arthur ’s thumb and forefinger wrapped around the head. “Arthur…oh, that…don’ t stop, please. Gods, that feels so good.” “I have no intention of stopping, ” Arthur said kissing him deeper, his tongue asking for and gaining entrance to Merlin’ s warm wet mouth, their tongues moving together as he pleasured him with his sword-callused hand. “I’m going to make you come for me.” “Arthur…I’m so close, ” Merlin panted arching into the king’ s grip as he stroked his full length. He wanted it to last, he struggled to hold back, but it just felt too good. It wasn’ t just anyone touching him so intimately, it was Arthur…his Arthur . “Don’ t hold back, Merlin, just let go. I want you to.” Merlin tilted his head back and cried out Arthur ’s name. His chest heaving his hands gripping the edge of the tub as his lips parted and he shuddered violently as he came, spilling his seed in the bathwater . His eyes closed tightly; he bit down on his bottom lip. “Feel better?” Arthur asked as he nuzzled his neck and kissed the spot behind his ear while lazily stroking his cock. “Oh, yes, ” Merlin gasped still quivering, the muscles in his stomach and thighs clenching and releasing with the force of his release. Arthur got to his feet and then leaned over to kiss him. “I’ll leave you to finish. Get dressed and join me in my chambers for dinner .” Merlin opened his eyes noticing the obvious bulge in Arthur ’s trousers. “But you need…” “Later, Merlin, ” he said then tenderly washed his face and smiled. “W ear the purple one, ” he said then kissed Merlin deeply before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Merlin huf fed a laugh then quickly finished washing and got out of the tub to dry of f and dress. He put on the black trousers and purple tunic then slipped on the new black boots. He gave up on his hair leaving it wet and messy then headed for Arthur ’s chambers. Just as he approached the door it opened, and he found himself face to face with Geor ge who looked at him at first with surprise then a tight smile. “Merlin, welcome home, ” he said stif fly then with a bow he moved past him and down the corridor . “Are you just going to stand there with your mouth open?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Did Geor ge just bow to me?” “Get used to it, Merlin, you’re not a servant anymore.” “I’ll always be your servant, Arthur . Nice clothes and a title won’ t change that, ” Merlin chuckled as he walked in and closed the door . “Lock it, I don’ t want to be disturbed, ” Arthur wagged an eyebrow and Merlin laughed slipping the lock into place then moved toward the table where there was a veritable feast laid out for the two of them. “Um, Arthur…what you did for me back in my room…” Arthur closed the distance between them and kissed him, “That’ s just a taste of what I have in store for you, Merlin.” He looked down taking in his appearance and shook his head, “I always did love you in purple.” “I can’ t believe you had new clothes waiting for me. Y ou really had faith that I would return.” “I did, ” Arthur kissed him again, “I had to keep the faith or go mad with grief.” Merlin shook his head, “I never considered how much my death would af fect you. I never meant to bring you so much pain.” “It doesn’ t matter now, you are back. Now sit down with me and eat, ” Arthur motioned toward the table and Merlin sat down in the chair while Arthur took the one across from him and poured the wine. The king looked at him his blue eyes filled with concern. “Merlin, is there something bothering you?” “There are things I need to tell you, but I’m not sure how .” “I thought we were beyond secrets, ” Arthur said, raising an eyebrow . “Come on, out with it.” “Well, first, I met your mother . She was beautiful and so sweet. W e talked about you and I told her everything. She is so proud of you, Arthur . She loves you so much. She also told me everything your father did.” “So, what she told me was true?” Merlin nodded, “I lied to you back then and I’m sorry . I thought I was doing the right thing.” “You did the right thing, Merlin. It’ s all right. Thank you for telling me. It feels good knowing mother is proud of me. That’ s not all though is it?” Merlin tore of f a piece of bread and a hunk of meat then shook his head. “When I was in Avalon, the night of Gavin’ s birth, I sensed your fear, your despair, and Gwen’ s pain.” Arthur stopped eating and took a drink of wine. “Y ou did?” Merlin nodded, “I used magic to look in on you and I saw everything. I begged the Goddess to save Gwen and the baby . I told her I would do anything.” “Merlin, what did you do?” Arthur asked warily . “I wanted to save them both, Arthur, ” Merlin’ s eyes filled with tears. “The Goddess…she forced me to choose. She said I could save the queen or the child, that if I didn’ t choose, they would both die. I—I chose to save Gavin. I let Gwen die. I’m so sorry, Arthur…if I could have saved her…” Arthur stared at Merlin, his eyes wide and dark. Merlin dropped his gaze to his hands and stilled, not daring to breathe, waiting for his king’ s wrath. When it didn’ t come, he dared to look up and Arthur was shaking his head. He slammed his fists down on the arms of his chair making Merlin flinch. “I—I’m so sorry, ” he choked on the words then slid his chair back getting ready to leave the room. “Where are you going?” Arthur asked, his voice hard. “I understand why you’re angry, I don’ t blame you, ” Merlin said, “I’ll just go.” “Merlin, ” Arthur said then got up walking around the table to grip his forearms, “I am not angry at you. No one should be forced to make such a choice. No one. I am so sorry the Goddess did that to you. It wasn’ t fair.” “But Gwen, ” Merlin said, quickly averting his gaze. “Merlin, listen to me, ” Arthur cupped his chin lifting his eyes again, “What she made you do was cruel. I am not angry at you; I am angry at what she did to you. T o be forced to choose between your dearest friend and the life of her baby .” “When I said that I felt like I was betraying Gwen, this is why . I can’ t help but wonder what she would think of my being here…” Merlin swallowed hard, “I saw her in A valon, and I told her what happened. She told me I made the right choice, and that the life of her child was all that mattered to her . But now I am here, and she isn’ t…” “Merlin, you know my mother died giving birth to me. Guinevere and I talked about it at length. She told me that if anything were to go wrong that she would gladly die to save our baby . You made the right choice. Guinevere loved Gavin with all that she was. She would not have wanted to live if he had died. It was not fair that you were put in that position, but I love my son more than life and I am grateful. It was so hard to lose her, but if I had lost them both…” “I couldn’ t let you lose them both, ” Merlin said softly, shaking his head. “Thank you, Merlin, ” Arthur said then drew him into his arms and kissed him, “I don’ t want you to feel like your being here is a betrayal to Guinevere. Please, let it go.” “I’ll try, ” he nodded. “Good, ” Arthur cupped his cheek, “Now sit and eat.” They returned to the table eating in silence for a while until Arthur pushed his chair back and went to look out the windows. Folding his arms across his chest. Merlin watched him for a moment, he knew that look, Arthur was thinking. “Arthur?” he asked. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “For what?” “From the moment we met I treated you horribly . I took you for granted and I expected far more from you than any servant before you. I dragged you into dangerous situations that, as a servant, you had no business being in. Merlin, I put you at risk time and time again, for purely selfish reasons…because I couldn’ t bear to be apart from you. I needed you like I needed air to breathe. I think I knew even then that I loved you and because of that kept you at arm’ s length not allowing myself to admit to those feelings. I thought if I could pretend, they didn’ t exist I would be able to love someone else and no one would ever have to know that I was completely in love with my manservant. I think my father began to suspect something was going on when I chose to go after the Mortaeus flower to save your life. So, I had to be even more careful, because if he ever found out the truth he would have either banished or executed you.” Merlin remained silent sensing that Arthur needed to get his feelings out. “When you went missing after the rockfall, which I assume you caused to protect me, I was lost. All I could think about was that you were out there somewhere in danger and that I never told you what you meant to me. When you told me about your magic, I reacted badly . I was hurt and angry because you lied to me, and you didn’ t trust me with such a huge part of who you are. But then I realized that I never gave you any reason to. How many times did I tell you to your face that magic was pure evil, that it corrupted people? I belittled you and treated you like a fool. Y ou watched me follow my father ’s orders like a mindless attack dog. Y ou had every reason in the world to keep your secret from me.” “Arthur, if I could go back, I would tell you in the beginning. I wanted you to know . I nearly told you that day in Ealdor…if Mor gana hadn’ t walked in to tell us Kanen and his men had crossed the river, I would have.” Arthur nodded, “I know that now, but Merlin, I am not sure what I would have done back then. I cannot say for certain that I wouldn’ t have left you in Ealdor or turned you over to my father .” “Still, I should have trusted you.” “I know I told you that the past doesn’ t matter anymore, but it does. I cannot make up for the way I treated you and I cannot make up for all the pain and loss you suf fered because of me. Will, Freya, your father…and then you died for me.” “And I told you I would do it all over again, ” Merlin said then got up from his chair going to stand in front of his king. “I love you, Arthur . I want to be with you. W e both made mistakes, but we are here now, and I don’ t want to keep things from you anymore. I want no barriers between us.” Arthur smiled and kissed him, “I want to love you the way you deserve.” “We can start right now, ” Merlin grinned then deepened the kiss. “Clothes are definitely a barrier, ” Arthur growled against his lips. “Yes, they are.” “I missed you undressing me.” “I may be out of practice, ” Merlin chuckled staring into Arthur ’s eyes. “I’m sure it will all come back to you.” “Hmm, yes, ” Merlin smiled backing Arthur toward the bed, tugging at the laces of Arthur ’s trousers, “I can’ t stop thinking about what happened in my room earlier . Seeing you hard for me.” “It’s not the first time, ” Arthur grinned kissing Merlin harder . “You asked me if I have been with anyone, were you ever with anyone other than Gwen?” “When I was younger before you came to Camelot. I was with a woman once and experimented with fellow knights, but nothing like what I want to do with you.” “Really?” Merlin asked with a smirk. “Merlin, I want your mouth on me, please, ” Arthur said with a hitch in his voice, “So many times I imagined those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock.” “Yes, Sire, ” Merlin smiled dropping to his knees. He hooked his fingers beneath the waist of Arthur ’s trousers drawing them down freeing his engor ged cock. He let out a long, drawn- out moan as Merlin licked the full length from base to tip before swallowing him down licking and sucking and stroking him mercilessly until Arthur ’s knees were trembling. “Gods, Merlin, ” Arthur gasped tangling his fingers in Merlin’ s dark hair, “It’s even better than I imagined. Y our mouth…” His hips stuttered as the head of his cock hit the back of Merlin’ s throat and he sucked in his cheeks. “Oh, yes…Merlin, so good.” Merlin drew back looking up at Arthur with such absolute love and desire. “Arthur, I want you to take me…please.” “Yes, Merlin…I want to, ” Arthur said drawing him up to his feet and kissing him hard and deep. He pulled Merlin’ s tunic of f and removed his trousers after he kicked of f his boots. He stood before his king fully naked, his beautiful pale skin begging to be touched and kissed and marked by Arthur…claimed at last. “Arthur, ” his eyes flashed gold and he kissed him, “I’m ready please…” Arthur kicked of f his own trousers and tunic then eased Merlin back against the bed. “Y ou’re so beautiful, ” he whispered as he kissed him. Merlin laid back on the bed and Arthur moved between his parted thighs his fingers finding him slick and open for him. He let out a low moan and pressed the head of his cock against his entrance biting down on his bottom lip as he struggled to slow down, to keep himself from the edge. Merlin kissed him passionately wrapping his long legs around Arthur . “Now, please, Arthur, ” he whispered huskily, “I need you inside me.” “I don’ t want to hurt you.” “You won’ t, ” Merlin panted, “Please, I have waited so long.” Arthur kissed him full on the lips then dragged one hand down to Merlin’ s heavy cock stroking him slowly as he drove his hips forward into Merlin, groaning as the wet heat of his body enveloped him. “Oh, God, ” Arthur whispered, “Y ou feel so good.” “Arthur, yes, please…” Arthur thrust into Merlin hard and deep and fast completely losing himself in the intensity of the joining of their bodies. It was even more incredible than he ever could have imagined. “Merlin, you’re mine at last…I love you, ” he gasped. “I love you too, ” Merlin breathed out throwing his head back, his eyes closed, and lips parted in a wordless cry of sheer pleasure. Arthur ’s cock filled him so completely, awakening his body in ways he never dreamed possible. His magic wrapped around them, and he laughed breathlessly as he felt it caressing Arthur ’s body and his king’ s eyes opened wide in surprise. “That feels strange, ” Arthur moaned feeling Merlin’ s magic brushing over his skin like a thousand butterflies. “Incredible, ” he gasped. Arthur pulled out of Merlin earning him a whine of protest. He moved onto the bed and laid down. Merlin moved on top of him immediately impaling himself on Arthur ’s cock once again. Arthur slid his hands over his shoulders and down his back to cup his arse while he rode him slowly, reveling in every movement. “Merlin…I’m close, so close.” “Touch me, Arthur, ” Merlin moaned as he rotated his hips and bore down on Arthur fully and his hand wrapped around Merlin’ s cock stroking him. “Y es, so good, ” he gasped. “Merlin, now, ” Arthur moaned arching up into him as he spilled his seed deep inside him at last and Merlin followed him over the edge coating his hand in his own come. “Arthur…holy hell, ” Merlin shuddered and trembled on top of him. “That was incredible, ” Arthur laughed breathlessly . “Gods, why did we wait so long?” Merlin asked. “We were clearly idiots.” Easing of f Arthur, Merlin laid down next to him and they kissed. Chests pressed together, skin glistening with sweat. “I love you, ” Merlin smiled. “I love you, Merlin, ” Arthur grinned his thumb stroking his cheek and gliding across his bottom lip. “Always. Stay the night with me.” “I think I can be persuaded, ” Merlin grinned kissing him lazily as they clung to each other . Arthur brought his hand up and removed his silver ring sliding it onto Merlin’ s finger bringing tears to his eyes. “Arthur, I can’ t…” “You can, Merlin. I want everyone to know what we are to each other now . Wear it always.” “But it was your mother ’s.” “And she would want you to have it.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, ” Arthur kissed him. “Thank you, ” Merlin smiled kissing him back. “Are you tired?” Arthur asked. “Not really .” “Feel like going to the tavern?” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want to go to the tavern?” “I think we should go. Gwaine and the others are there tonight. I know they want to welcome you home too.” “What about Gavin’ s story time?” “Already taken care of. The poor little one was exhausted. He was out before I got to the bit about the unicorn.” “In that case, let’ s go to the tavern, ” Merlin grinned. Arthur kissed him then they got out of bed cleaned up and got dressed. Merlin’ s hair was all over the place and Arthur laughed trying to tame it to no avail. “I think you may need a little magic for this, ” Arthur smiled, “Y ou walk in looking like that and they will know exactly what we have been up to.” “I thought you wanted everyone to know, ” Merlin grinned. “I want them to know we are together but what we do in our bedroom is none of their business, ” Arthur said kissing him. “Y ou know Gwaine…” “Ah yes, I do, ” Merlin smiled then with a word his magic smoothed his hair . “Better?” “I shall look forward to messing it up again later, ” Arthur said huskily then pulled him close, “You are beautiful, Merlin.” “Am I really?” “Gods, yes, absolutely ethereally so.” “I still can’ t quite believe this is happening.” “We just made love, ” Arthur grinned, “And if we don’ t get going, I am going to mess up that hair right now .” Merlin laughed then headed for the door and unlocked it. They left Arthur ’s chambers heading down the corridor out of the castle and toward the lower town. The Rising Sun was full of people when they entered. Musicians were playing in the corner and there were couples dancing. Gwaine spotted them immediately and waved them over . “Didn’ t expect to see you two tonight, ” he winked, and Arthur gave him a stern look, though his eyes were filled with amusement. “I figured you all would want to welcome Merlin home, ” he smirked. “Aye that we do, ” Gwaine said embracing Merlin, “Y ou look really good, old friend. Happy .” “I am, ” Merlin smiled shyly lowering his head for a moment, “It feels good to be back.” “Look at you, ” Leon said, “All dressed up.” The knight embraced Merlin. “It is good to see you.” “Merlin, ” Percival said placing a big hand on his shoulder, “Welcome home, you were missed.” “Thank you, ” Merlin smiled then followed Arthur to a bench on the other side of the long table where the knights were sitting. They sat down and Evoric brought them tankards of mead. “Merlin, dear boy, it is so good to see you again, ” he said, “W elcome back.” “Good to see you too, Evoric, ” Merlin grinned, “How’ s Greta and the kids?” “Greta is well, she is visiting her sister in Brenwell, she will be delighted to see you. The kids have all grown and moved away, but they are doing well. James will be moving home to take over the tavern in a few months I am getting too old for this. I must get back to my patrons. Again, welcome back, Merlin.” Arthur leaned close linking their fingers together . “Are you all right? If it is too overwhelming we can go.” “No, I want to stay, ” Merlin said. “Good, ” Arthur smiled then kissed him earning them a series of whistles and cheers from the knights. They both rolled their eyes and smiled. “It’s about time, ” Leon chuckled, and Arthur looked at his old friend and first knight. “What are you on about?” he asked him. “Poetry, ” Leon grinned. “Right, ” Arthur nodded, and Merlin laughed, his blue eyes wide and filled with mirth. It was so good to see Merlin happy and alive. His heart swelled with love and quietness even in the midst of the gaiety . The other half of his soul was back where he belonged, and he would never let anything come between them again. “I love you.” Merlin kissed him, “I love you too.” Two hours, many more tankards of mead, and a lot of celebrating later, the two of them and Gwaine made their way back to the castle. The three of them were laughing and shoving each other playfully . “Gwaine…you’re drunk, ” Arthur said, only slightly slurring his words. “So are you, My Lord, ” Gwaine chuckled, “Good thing Merlin is still somewhat sober, or we would be sleeping in the upstairs room again.” “You two slept in the inn?” Merlin asked. “Yep, after you…we got drunk. Percival and Leon had to practically carry us upstairs, ” Arthur grinned. “It’ s not appropriate for a king to get drunk in public…but I am so happy tonight. I have you back, ” he said stopping to pull Merlin into his arms for a deep kiss. Gwaine laughed, “Y ou’re worried about getting drunk in public and you’re making out with Merlin in the street.” “Shut up, Gwaine, ” Merlin grinned kissing Arthur back. “I’ll leave you two be, ” Gwaine laughed then headed for his chambers. “Good night, Gwaine, ” Arthur chuckled. “Good night, My Lord…good night, Merlin.” Arthur laughed, “Maybe we should take this back to my chambers.” “I have a better idea, ” Merlin grinned then took his hand leading Arthur through a door and into the castle. He pulled him into a short corridor and through a door into a stairwell that led up to the tower . They stumbled through a door and into a round room at the top of the tower its windows overlooking the whole city bathed in moonlight. “I haven’ t been up here since I was a child, ” Arthur smiled, “I used to love this room.” “I would come here often to think, to practice magic, ” Merlin said leaning on the windowsill taking in the view . Arthur stared at him intently and shook his head. “It must have been so lonely, so isolating…being forced to hide who you were.” “It was, but I don’ t have to anymore, ” Merlin turned to meet his gaze, his smile bright and open. Arthur moved closer wrapping his arms around him, “Never again, Merlin…never again.” He kissed him deeply then went down on his knees his fingers quickly freeing Merlin’ s half- hard cock swallowing him down. Merlin moaned loudly, one hand on the windowsill and the other on his king’ s head, his fingers tugging at his hair as his mouth devoured his full length. “Arthur, Gods, feels so good, ” he gasped tilting his head back, lips parted. “Merlin, ” Arthur whispered looking up at him with wild eyes reveling in the feel of Merlin, the taste of Merlin. “Arthur, your mouth, ” he breathed out, chest heaving, as he resisted the ur ge to thrust into that wet heat. “My Lord…Sire…Gods, please…” He leaned back against the stone, his knees trembling. “Arthur, I’m close…” Arthur moaned around him and sucked in his cheeks his tongue curling around Merlin’ s cock and a moment later he came with a violent shudder spilling his seed in the mouth of his sovereign. His knees gave out and he collapsed in Arthur ’s arms holding on to him like a lifeline. “Merlin, ” Arthur said with a breathless laugh, “Are you all right?” “Ask me that when I can remember my name, ” Merlin chuckled. “I love making you come, ” Arthur whispered in his ear, “The look of utter bliss on your face…and your eyes…they turn gold for just a moment when you reach the threshold.” “Do they?” Merlin asked with a grin as he looked into Arthur ’s eyes. “Yes, it’ s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Absolutely stunning.” “I’ve never felt like this, Arthur…all my life I was never able to truly be myself with anyone.” “I’m glad you can now…with me, ” Arthur smiled kissing him tenderly . Merlin’ s hand stroked the length of Arthur ’s hard shaft through his trousers as they kissed. “Shall I return the favor, Sire?” he asked with a grin. “Stand up, ” Arthur said, and Merlin got to his feet. Arthur followed suit and unlaced his trousers. “T urn around and lean on the windowsill.” Merlin obeyed looking back over his shoulder as Arthur ran his hands over the soft flesh of his arse his fingers delving inside him. “Arthur, ” Merlin moaned pressing back against those fingers as he worked him open with only a little aid from magic. “Hold on to something, ” Arthur grinned then pulled his fingers out freeing his cock, and stepped forward thrusting into Merlin in one smooth motion, burying himself inside to the hilt. Merlin let out a cry of pleasure his fingers gripping the stone as Arthur rolled his hips making him shiver from head to toe. “Gods, you feel good, Merlin.” “Arthur…” Merlin moaned as they moved together both breathing hard and desperate for more, needing to get closer, to mer ge their bodies and souls for eternity . “Harder, please, ” Merlin gasped thrusting back against his king the head of his cock brushing against the spot inside him that made him see stars and his knees go weak. “I love you, ” Arthur growled pounding into Merlin harder and faster until he spilled inside him with such force that he swore he nearly lost consciousness. “Gods, Merlin…” Merlin could not speak, he was so lost in the moment, the ecstasy of release. He barely touched himself and he was coming, spilling his seed over his hand. He pressed his forehead to the cool of the stone wall and Arthur curled around him. “Never like this with anyone else, ” Arthur whispered against the back of his head, “Only you, Merlin…only you.” “Arthur, ” Merlin said breathlessly . “Are you all right? I didn’ t hurt you did I?” “Oh, I am good…amazing in fact, ” Merlin said leaning back into his arms. “I wonder if I can let Leon run the kingdom for a week or two and we can stay in my chambers and make love over and over .” Merlin laughed, “As brilliant as that would be, I’m not sure it would be a good idea. People will think I enchanted you or something to distract you from your duties.” “You are a wonderful distraction, ” Arthur kissed him. “Come on, it is getting cold up here, ” Merlin said, “Let’ s go back to your chambers.” They righted their clothing smoothed down their hair and headed back down the spiral staircase. W alking hand in hand down the corridor of the silent palace. This is how it was always meant to be. This was their destiny realized. “Merlin, ” Arthur said as they reached the door of his room. “Yeah?” Merlin asked. “I am not sure what I will need to do to make it possible under the laws of Camelot, but I want you to be mine in every way . I want to marry you. If you will have me.” Merlin’ s eyes went wide and bright, “Arthur…” “Merlin, will you marry me?” Arthur asked taking hold of both hands, his thumb tracing the silver ring on his finger . “Please, I love you and I want you to be my husband.” “Yes, ” Merlin said tears shining in his eyes, “Y es, Arthur, I will marry you. If that is even possible.” Arthur sur ged forward and kissed him deeply, “I will do whatever it takes to make it happen.” “If not then perhaps we can be bound in other ways, ” Merlin smiled. Arthur kissed him deeply and then opened the door . They went inside and Merlin closed and locked the door again. He poured them some wine and started the fire in the hearth to ward off the chill of the room while Arthur cleaned up and got ready for bed. Merlin watched him with a crooked grin on his face as he washed and undressed. “What?” Arthur asked when he noticed. “You really have learned to do things for yourself.” “I can unlearn if you prefer, ” Arthur grinned. “Actually, I kind of like this new independent you, ” Merlin said as he closed the distance between them and pulled of f his tunic and boots. “Do you now?” “Mmm, yes, it’ s really kind of nice to not have to worry about chores. I can focus on much more rewarding endeavors.” “Please do, ” Arthur smirked as Merlin kissed his neck and shoulder . “Yes, My Lord, ” he said then kissed him full on the mouth. The New Prophecy Merlin sat on the floor in the secret room of the library surrounded by piles of magic books sorted by the type of magic they contained and subject matter . He was surprised that so many had survived Uther ’s pur ge and suspected that Geof frey had kept them in this room on purpose. There’ s no way the man did not know this room existed. His suspicions were confirmed when he found a book, more of a record. It was in the old librarian’ s handwriting the dates listed were all after the start of the Great Pur ge. It listed the books that had been destroyed. Merlin smiled, Geof frey had been working behind Uther ’s back to protect materials that were rare and that he could not bear to see lost forever . Getting to his feet, Merlin walked over to a long shelf, he waved a hand banishing the layers of dust and cobwebs then his eyes flashed gold and each shelf was engraved with magic runes that would protect the books from everything from fire to flood. He then arranged them on the newly cleaned shelves. “Merlin!” Merlin turned around grinning at the sound of Gavin’ s voice. He walked to the panel, pushed it open, and stepped through into the main library . “Merlin, there you are, ” Gavin smiled running to him. “Hello, what are you doing here, little one?” “Hunith brought me.” Just then Hunith came around the corner . “There you are, young man, you are getting too fast for me, ” she laughed. “Merlin, you’re covered in dust, what are you doing in here?” “Cleaning the secret room, or ganizing the magic books that were hidden in there. I am taking over for Geof frey.” “Aren’ t you taking on too much, so soon?” she asked, “Physician and librarian?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Believe me compared to being Gaius’ apprentice, Arthur ’s manservant, and secret defender of Camelot, this is a piece of cake.” “I suppose so, ” Hunith said, “I just worry .” “I’m fine, mother, really, ” Merlin grinned kissing her cheek. “You do look happy, ” she smiled knowingly, “I assume you and Arthur…” Merlin blushed, “Y es, he wants me to marry him.” “Oh, that is wonderful news.” “It may never happen, but it is nice knowing that it’ s what he wants.” “Arthur loves you, Merlin. I am certain he will find a way .” “What if the people, the court won’ t accept us being together?” “Does it matter?” Hunith asked, “As long as you and Arthur love each other?” “No, it doesn’ t, ” Merlin grinned then kissed Gavin’ s cheek. “I want books, ” Gavin said wrapping his arms around Merlin’ s neck. “Then let’ s find you some books, ” Merlin laughed. Arthur paced the empty council chambers his arms folded across his chest. He’d woken up from a nightmare to an empty bed, empty chambers. For a fleeting moment, he feared that he had dreamed it all, that Merlin was still dead. Then he looked over at the tangled bedding, the imprint from another head on the pillows and he smiled. He’s spent the entire morning pouring over the laws of Camelot looking for a way to make it possible for him and Merlin to marry . For Merlin to be accepted as his and to rule by his side. He had trusted members of the court working out the details. W ith luck, he and Merlin could be married within a month. He smiled running his fingers through his hair . He needed a haircut and now that Merlin was back… “Sire, ” Leon said as he came through the door, “Riders are approaching the gates. They wear the colors of Deorham.” “Alined’ s men…” Arthur frowned, “Show them to the throne room. I will see them immediately .” “Very well, ” Leon nodded and left. Arthur took a breath and then headed for the throne room. He spotted Gwaine in the corridor . “Gwaine, I need you to go to the library and find Merlin. T ell him to dress and meet me in the throne room we have guests. Alined’ s men.” Gwaine nodded, “I’ll go. What do you think this is about?” “Not sure, but I need Merlin there with me.” “Right, I’ll go get him and we will meet you in the throne room, ” Gwaine said then took of f running down the corridor . Merlin was just leaving the library when Gwaine rounded the corner . “What’ s wrong?” he asked. “Arthur sent me to find you, Alined’ s men are here. He needs you to dress up pretty and join him in the throne room.” “What do they want?” Merlin asked as they headed for the physician’ s chambers so he could clean up and change clothes. “No idea, but it can’ t be good.” Hunith was preparing a remedy when they walked in, and Gavin was sitting on the bed looking at a book of pictures of mythical creatures. “Merlin, Gwaine, ” she smiled. “Mother, I need you to keep Gavin here, do not let him out of your sight. Alined’ s men are here, and we don’ t know what they want, ” Merlin said as he ran up the steps to his room and closed the door . He used magic to heat water in a bowl, washed up quickly then put on his new dark blue trousers and the red tunic with the gold embroidered collar and cuf fs. Slipped on his black boots and tamed his hair with magic then headed back downstairs. Hunith reached up to fix the collar and patted his cheek. “I will keep Gavin here with me, ” she nodded, “T ell Arthur he is safe.” “I love you, ” Merlin kissed her forehead then bent to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “Gavin, you will protect my mother for me?” “I will, ” the boy beamed up at him. “Gwaine, ” Merlin nodded, and they left the room. Arthur looked up as the door opened and Merlin walked in with Gwaine right behind him. He approached looking around warily . “Where are they?” he asked. “They are on their way up now, ” Arthur said as he looked Merlin over from head to toe and smiled making an appreciative sound. “W e definitely need to get the tailor to make you more new clothes. Y ou look incredible.” “Thank you, My Lord, ” Merlin grinned, leaning in for a kiss, but Gwaine cleared his throat alerting them to the arrival of their guests and he moved to stand behind Arthur ’s throne, but the king gripped his wrist and drew him forward to stand beside him. “Your Majesty, ” Leon said, “I present the delegation from King Alined. They asked for an audience with you in regard to the actions of Prince Amren.” “Very well, ” Arthur nodded, then Leon stepped aside, and the men entered. “Your highness, King Arthur, ” the leader said, “I am Sir Harak, first knight of Deorham. King Alined sent us with an of fering and his deepest apologies for the actions of his son Prince Amren in the kidnapping of your son Prince Gavin.” Arthur raised an eyebrow, “He is admitting that Amren was involved?” “Yes, My Lord, ” Harak said, “The prince confessed to the king what he had done after some persuasion. King Alined has disinherited him and named his daughter, Princess Fiona as his successor to the throne.” “And what is this of fering?” Arthur asked. Harak motioned to one of his men who moved to the door and gestured to someone in the corridor . A man in restraints, with a hood over his head, was dragged into the throne room and forced onto his knees at Arthur ’s feet. The hood was then removed to reveal a terrified Prince Amren. “King Alined wishes to avoid war, ” Harak said, “Prince Amren is at your mercy, to face sentencing for the crime of kidnapping your son.” Arthur stared down at the prince, he was only a year older than Arthur . They had known each other as boys. The man had grown up pampered and protected. “Amren, ” Arthur said, “What do you have to say for yourself? Y ou kidnapped my son.” “King Arthur, I deeply regret what I did. I was angry at my father for giving away my birthright.” “My son could have been killed, ” Arthur said his voice sharp and hard. “I know, My Lord, I beg of you, if you intend to kill me, make it quick.” Arthur gave Merlin a sidelong glance and Merlin gave him a barely discernable nod. He turned his attention back to Prince Amren. “On your feet, Amren, ” Arthur said. The prince obeyed, with help from Harak, reluctantly meeting Arthur ’s gaze. “Please, Y our Majesty…” Amren practically whimpered. “Your father has banished you?” “Yes, ” he said his voice trembling. Arthur let out a breath and shook his head, “Everything in me wants to have you put to death for what you did, but it seems that letting you live will be a greater punishment. Y ou will be released, Prince Amren. Y ou will leave Camelot…leave the five kingdoms never to return. Is that understood?” “Yes, My Lord, thank you…your mercy is appreciated. I will do as you have ordered. Y ou have shown that you are a good and strong king.” Arthur took a step toward him, and the prince paled, “It is not mercy, Amren. What you did was cruel and unfor givable. But if we are to achieve lasting peace in the kingdoms, it must be without bloodshed. I am not my father . If I were you would be dead already . I choose to let you live with what you have done and what you have lost because of your decision.” “King Arthur, ” Sir Harak bowed, “W e will inform King Alined of your decision.” “Very well, ” Arthur nodded, “Now remove him from my court, please.” Gwaine and Leon glanced at Arthur nodding then followed the men out. Merlin released a breath and then took hold of his king’ s hand. “That was a tough decision, ” he said softly . “Yes, but the right one, ” Arthur smiled. “Are you all right?” “As long as you are by my side, yes, ” he said then kissed Merlin tenderly . “I’m proud of you, ” Merlin grinned. “Proud of your king?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Of you, ” Merlin kissed him. “Funny, even though my father so rarely said those words to me, they mean so much more coming from you, Merlin. I want so much to be worthy of your love, your loyalty, and devotion.” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur…” “I love you, Merlin.” “And I love you, Y our Majesty .” “Now you use titles, ” Arthur chuckled. “You’d rather I call you a prat? “Actually, yes.” “I love you, Prat, ” Merlin grinned then kissed him deeply . The lower town was just beginning to stir as the sun rose in the east. A lone figure wrapped in a dark green cloak the hood covering her long dark hair walked with determination, her back straight and head high. As she walked through the lower town she lowered the hood. The people gasped their eyes going wide in fear as they stared in disbelief. She gave them a hesitant smile and continued on her way the people parting to let her through. She walked into the square only to find herself surrounded by knights. The alarm bells went of f alerting the citadel to the intruder . Arthur and Merlin heard them from their chambers. There was a knock on the door . It opened and Gwaine entered. “Arthur…” he said his eyes filled with fear . “What is it?” Arthur asked. “In the square, it’ s Mor gana. She has returned.” Merlin’ s eyes widened and he took of f running with Arthur and Gwaine close behind. He charged down the stairs and out the doors heading down the steps. He pushed between two of the knights. Reaching Mor gana, he drew her behind him protectively and shook his head. “Stop, please, ” he said, “She means no harm.” “Merlin, ” Mor gana said, sounding annoyed, “I don’ t need you to protect me.” “Doesn’ t look that way to me, ” Merlin grinned. “Mor gana, ” Arthur said as he came down the steps. “Arthur…” “Is it really you?” he asked motioning for the knights to stand down. Morgana moved from behind Merlin approaching her brother . She bowed her head and then knelt at his feet. She looked up at him, tears in her jade-green eyes. “It is me, the real me, Y our Highness, ” she said her voice soft, but edged with fear and uncertainty . “Merlin told me everything, ” Arthur said then crouched in front of her catching her completely by surprise. “I’m sorry, Mor gana.” Morgana shook her head, tears sliding down her cheeks, “Why are you apologizing to me?” “I failed you, ” Arthur said reaching out to brush a tear away with his thumb, “I was blind to your pain, your fear . What our father did to you was wrong, just as he was wrong about magic.” “Arthur, what I did…” Mor gana choked back a sob. “It wasn’ t you…well, it wasn’ t all you. I know that now . How are you back?” Morgana glanced at Merlin then turned back to Arthur, “The Goddess, she said I could return, but I can only stay if I can earn your for giveness, Arthur . I know I don’ t deserve it… Arthur smiled and pulled her into his embrace, “Y ou have it, Mor gana…if you can for give me.” Mor gana’ s whole body shook with relieved sobs as she clung to her brother . Merlin met Arthur ’s gaze with a wide grin and a nod. “I’m so sorry, Arthur, ” Mor gana gasped. “Welcome home, my sister…I love you, ” Arthur smiled cupping the back of her head. Morgana stif fened and drew back releasing him, then stood up. She closed her eyes tilting her head back as what looked like falling stars shot across the sky conver ging on one point to become a beam of silver light, pure and beautiful aimed down at the ground, at Mor gana. She raised her arms into the air and the beam came down flowing into her . She opened her eyes; they were a brilliant silver . “What’ s happening?” Arthur asked Merlin. “It’s her magic, it has been purified and it is returning to her, ” he said. “Oh, ” Mor gana gasped as the magic settled down in her core where it belonged. “Mor gana?” Merlin smiled. “This is incredible, ” she breathed out slowly, “Merlin…” “You have your magic back, ” Arthur said. “Yes, the Goddess said that I had to have your for giveness in order to stay, but I could only have my magic back if you still have love for me, ” Mor gana said with a soft laugh. “I didn’ t think…” “You’re my sister, Mor gana. I hated what you did, but I never hated you. I think a part of me understood why you went down the path you did. Our father lied to us both. He denied you your heritage and your rightful place in the kingdom.” “The throne was never mine to claim, ” Mor gana said, “Mor gause, she poisoned me with darkness and hatred. She wanted the power she could only obtain through me. Y ou were always meant to rule, Arthur .” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur, his eyes narrowed as he studied Mor gana. She met his gaze with a genuine softness and reassurance. “You’re not her, ” he said. “Gwaine, ” Mor gana smiled, “Y ou’re alive.” “Yes, thanks to Merlin.” “I’m glad, ” she bowed, “I am so sorry for all that I did to you. I humbly beg your forgiveness.” Gwaine stared at her for a moment then shook his head, “Y ou’re not her…not the Lady Morgana I knew .” “No, Gwaine, ” Arthur smiled, “This is the Lady Mor gana that I grew up with, the one who belongs in Camelot. She’ s stubborn, bossy, a little scary, but she is kind, compassionate and she’s my sister .” “And my friend, ” Merlin smiled. Morgana turned to him, “Y ou look happy .” “I am, ” he grinned then glanced at Arthur . “I missed you, ” she said. “I missed you too, ” Merlin hugged her and then kissed her forehead. “Father!” Gavin shouted as he came tearing down the steps with Hunith right behind him. Arthur turned and smiled. “Father?” Mor gana asked. “Mor gana, this is Prince Gavin Pendragon, your nephew, ” Arthur said proudly as his son reached the bottom step and stopped. He looked up at Mor gana with a bright smile and blue eyes that could see into the soul. “Look at you, ” Mor gana cried dropping to her knees in front of him, “Y ou are beautiful.” Gavin moved closer to her reaching out to touch her cheek. “Y ou’re safe now, ” he said softly, “You don’ t have to be scared no more.” Morgana stared at him her eyes filling with tears. She shook her head unable to speak as Gavin wrapped his little arms around her neck. She held him tightly looking up at Arthur and then Merlin in utter disbelief. “Welcome home, Mor gana, ” Arthur smiled. “Gods, look at you, ” Mor gana choked back a cry of joy, kissing Gavin’ s little chubby cheek. “Let’ s go inside, ” Arthur said scooping Gavin up in his arms. Gwaine extended a hand to Mor gana. She looked at him in surprise before taking it and he helped her up. Merlin put a hand on her lower back guiding her up the steps. “Lady Mor gana, ” Hunith said as they reached her . “Hunith, ” Mor gana smiled embracing her . “That’ s the beautiful young lady I remember, welcome home.” “Thank you.” “How do you feel?” Merlin asked her as they walked down the corridor . She stopped for a moment to look around then nodded. “I feel free. And incredibly happy . There’ s something dif ferent about you, Merlin…” she said studying him, taking in his new clothes then she spotted the silver ring…Arthur ’s silver ring on his hand. “Oh, this explains a few things.” Merlin blushed, “Y es, well, Arthur and me…” Morgana’ s eyes widened, “It is about time. Y ou two…always looking longingly at each other . Everyone knew you were completely besotted with Arthur and Arthur with you. I just never imagined that he would act on his feelings. He really has changed, hasn’ t he.” “So have I, ” Merlin said. “I can see that, ” Mor gana beamed, “I am so pleased, Merlin. Y ou deserve to be happy .” “As do you, ” he said. “I’m beginning to believe that. I still feel so guilty though.” “I know…I still carry my own guilt, but we have to for give ourselves, ” Merlin smiled. “This is your second chance, Mor gana, ” Gwaine said, “Don’ t waste it dwelling on the past. If Arthur and Merlin can for give you…” Morgana turned to look at him, “But can you?” Gwaine shook his head, “It’ s strange. I don’ t see you as the same woman who tortured me on more than one occasion and then killed me. As I said, you’re not her .” “How can you not?” she asked. “Maybe if I had known you before, I would feel dif ferently . I cannot reconcile the two versions of you. Maybe that is a good thing.” “Maybe so, ” Mor gana smiled looking into his eyes. Merlin went ahead leaving the two of them alone. Gwaine took her arm slipping it through his then followed. Mor gana felt a rush of emotion that was almost overwhelming as they walked into the throne room where Arthur stood with Merlin, Gavin in his arms. Her eyes filled with tears again at the sight and she smiled. “I’m home.” Arthur sat at his desk working on a speech. He couldn’ t focus on the words because he kept looking up at the door every few minutes waiting for Merlin to appear . Where was he? The last three weeks had been insane. There were constant and ongoing discussions with his advisors and lords over the most basic kingdom business. The getting used to having Morgana in his life again and trying to figure out a way to give her back what their father had taken from her, as well as working to change the laws to allow Arthur and Merlin to marry . Then an outbreak of some sort of fever in an outlying village had kept Merlin and Hunith away for five days only to have the same sickness break out in Camelot’ s lower town while they were gone. Mor gana had done her best to take care of the patients until they returned then the three of them worked together until finally, it was under control. Arthur rubbed his eyes and dropped his quill. He slipped on his boots and headed for the door. It was late and the castle was quiet, so he didn’ t care that he was only wearing his trousers and a sleep tunic. He needed to find Merlin. Not finding him in the physician’ s chambers, Arthur headed toward the library . The door creaked when he opened it. The room was dark save for a few scattered candles. The secret room… “Merlin, ” Arthur called out as he reached the wall behind which he knew the hidden room lay. He kicked the shelf that tripped the release and it opened. “Merlin?” he said as the panel closed behind him. “Arthur, ” Merlin said, coming out from behind a high shelf lined with ancient books, “What time is it?” “It’s almost midnight, ” Arthur smiled, “Are you all right?” “Yes, sorry, I lost track of time, ” Merlin grinned. “I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me, ” Arthur said his eyes narrowing. “Never, ” Merlin shook his head, “Just a lot to catch up on since the outbreak.” “Are you sure that’ s all it is?” “I am sure. I’m sorry for neglecting you, my king.” Arthur looked around the room and nodded, “This is amazing. I had no idea so much survived my father ’s pur ge.” “Yes, well, some of the books were severely damaged and I had to repair them with magic. Some were beyond saving. The shelves are warded now, they will be protected.” “That’ s good…very good, ” Arthur said watching as Merlin stretched to put a book on the higher shelf. He smirked then stepped closer wrapping his arms around him. “It’ s very quiet in here, isn’ t it?” “Mmm, yes, ” Merlin grinned as Arthur ’s hands slid beneath his tunic splaying over his flat stomach and he felt the hard ridge of the king’ s arousal pressing against his arse. “What shall your punishment be for neglecting your king, Mer—lin?” “Oh!” Merlin gasped then let out a low moan as Arthur thrust his hips forward pressing him into the shelf, “Gods, more of that…definitely more of that.” Arthur grinned and repeated the movement and Merlin let out a sound of desperate longing. “It’s not punishment if it feels good, ” he chuckled. “Arthur, ” Merlin moaned pressing back into him, “Please…” Turning Merlin around Arthur kissed him hard and deep biting his bottom lip and thrusting his tongue into his warm wet mouth as he pressed him back against the shelf. Merlin’ s eyes were wide and dark with arousal his breath coming out in short gasps, his chest heaving. “Merlin, ” Arthur growled, rolling his hips into his, “I want you now…” Merlin nodded eagerly, unable to form words he yanked Arthur ’s tunic over his head kissing his chest, neck, and shoulder . It was the king’ s turn to moan filthily, his hips stuttering as Merlin’ s hands quickly unlaced his trousers and pushed them down to his broad muscular thighs. Arthur shoved his hand down the front of Merlin’ s trousers gripping his hard cock. “Gods, Arthur!” he gasped kissing Arthur again, their hot breath mingling as their tongues moved together . They were both completely out of their minds, needing to feel every touch, every thrust. “Merlin, ” Arthur whispered huskily pushing his trousers down and Merlin kicked them of f with his boots as Arthur lifted him of f his feet wrapping his long legs around his waist and kissing him, devouring his lips and tongue. “Magic…need magic, ” he growled and Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold. A moment later Arthur thrust into him, and Merlin cried out in utter bliss. “Arthur, yes, please…” he panted, closing his eyes, reaching up to grip the shelf with both hands, holding on for dear life as Arthur drove into him. “Arthur…don’ t stop…more!” “Merlin, you feel so good, so tight, ” Arthur kissed him. He looked into his eyes rolling his hips harder and faster . The wild look in Merlin’ s sex-addled gaze increased his arousal tenfold. “I love you, ” he breathed out thrusting up into him, their bodies trembling and drenched with sweat. “Mine, always, Merlin.” “Arthur, ” Merlin said breathlessly . “I’m close, ” Arthur whispered, kissing him, and sucking on his full bottom lip. Merlin placed one hand on his own cock stroking himself furiously as Arthur pounded into him with abandon. They shouted loudly as they came, shuddering violently . Merlin let go of his spent cock gripping the shelf as Arthur continued to thrust into him again and again until they could no longer move or form coherent thoughts. “Holy…” Arthur gasped, and Merlin huf fed a laugh. “If that is my punishment I shall have to neglect you more often.” “Such insolence, ” Arthur grinned kissing him. “I love you, ” Merlin said kissing him back. “I think we should take this to our bed.” “Perhaps you should carry me.” “So, you can kick me again, ” Arthur smirked then nipped at his bottom lip then slipped out of Merlin then set him back on his feet. “Get dressed, Mer—lin, ” he grinned then pulled up his trousers and retrieved his sleep tunic. “Yes, Sire, ” Merlin grinned. Once they were both dressed they put out all the candles and left the library walking back to Arthur ’s chambers. Passing the guards in the corridor Arthur nodded, dismissing them for the night. “You think that’ s a good idea?” Merlin asked. “I’m sleeping with the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, ” Arthur smiled raising an eyebrow, “I’m perfectly safe.” “True, ” Merlin chuckled then followed him into the room, and they closed and locked the door. He started the fire in the hearth and lit the candles while Arthur undressed. “W ould you like me to fill the tub for you?” “Merlin, you’re not my servant anymore.” “No, I know, but I don’ t mind.” Arthur looked at him and shook his head, “Y ou really miss it don’ t you.” “Being your servant, ” Merlin said then shrugged, “Y es, I guess I do.” “Tell me, Merlin, if you never became my servant…if we never had this shared destiny, what do you think your life would be like now?” Merlin sat down in the chair by the hearth and took of f his boots. He looked at Arthur, shaking his head. “My life…” he said thoughtfully, his voice catching, “I don’ t know…and I don’t want to know .” Arthur moved toward the chair crouching in front of Merlin, taking hold of his hands. “Y ou never wanted anything else for yourself? Surely you had dreams.” “Only to be loved and to be free to use my magic…to be accepted for who I am, ” he smiled, “I have that now, Arthur, and there is nothing else I want.” “Just every time I think about how much you suf fered, the pain and the loss, because of me, ” Arthur said bringing Merlin’ s hands to his lips. “I just want you to be happy .” “I am, Arthur, believe me, ” Merlin said, leaning forward to kiss him, “For the first time in my life I am not afraid. I don’ t have to skulk around in the shadows defending the kingdom anymore. And I finally have you the way I always dreamed of but never dared hope.” “Yes, you do, ” Arthur grinned then stood up, “Now, get undressed and let’ s clean up and go to bed. I am exhausted.” “Yes, My Lord, ” Merlin smiled. Three weeks later Arthur and Merlin were married in a ceremony in the clearing with the citizens of Camelot, the Druids, Kilgharrah, and even Aithusa looking on. The knights stood behind Arthur, Leon holding a beaming Gavin in his arms while Mor gana walked with Merlin who was dressed in black trousers and a fine purple silk tunic embroidered with silver thread on the collar and the cuf fs. Black shiny boots and a silver circlet on his head. Arthur smiled, his blue eyes shining with tears. Mor gana met her brother ’s gaze then she turned to Merlin smiling brightly . She cupped his cheek and nodded slightly . “You look so handsome, ” she said, “I love you, Merlin. I am so pleased that you and Arthur found your way back to each other .” “I love you too, Mor gana, ” Merlin said his eyes brimming with tears. “Arthur, you take care of him the way he always took care of you, ” Mor gana said. “I will, ” Arthur smiled reaching out for Merlin’ s hand as she moved to stand next to a tearful Hunith and Gwaine who kissed her on the forehead before taking hold of her hand. “Ready?” Arthur asked. “Yes, ” Merlin grinned taking his place in front of his king, “I love you.” “Always, ” Arthur said. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the ancient right of handfasting…” The time of Albion, born fr om Magic’ s sacrifice. The King lives, his legacy shall be the bridge between peace and magic. Emrys and the King, one soul, one heart, one destiny realized. Out of the darkness is born the light. For giveness, r edemption…faith, and love shall r eign. The bloodline unbr oken, a new r eign will triumph. Fr om the last br eath to a new awakening magic shall thrive once again. The world in balance. Life and death ar e restor ed. Long live The King…long live Magic! Giving Up The Ghost - By A-ha Chapter Summary If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Giving Up The Ghost by A-ha Icy road, blinding dark Rolling hills in the distance Open wound, a painful scar Love has left its burning trademark Off the grid, out of bounds Further down into shadow Darkest day and whitest night In harm's way We're chasing rainbows Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurts the most You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Frozen lake soon will flow Frozen ground soon to follow But hey - everything is in your head And what you killed is never dead Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost On what you loved the most On a coal-black sea, the sky's on fire Failed attempts at a funeral pyre Deep as dreams of dark desire The flames are growing ever higher You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Language: English Collections: Ficsread2022
Published: 2022-12-24 Words: 56,035 Chapters: 9/9 Giving Up The Ghost by MerlinsBrokenHeart Summary The battle of Camlann is done, Arthur is mortally wounded and dealing with the revelation that Merlin is a sorcerer . His servant has magic. The one person he trusted more than any other had betrayed him…lied to him all these years. Merlin is determined to take his king to Avalon to be healed by the Sidhe. Over the two-day journey , Arthur slowly begins to realize that Merlin is still Merlin, magic or not. The most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth… his servant, his friend, and protector . When Mor gana catches up to them before they can reach A valon, Merlin makes the ultimate sacrifice for his king leaving Arthur reeling. Defying prophecy and forever altering the fate of the king and of Camelot. Notes My tribute to Merlin in honor of the T en-Y ear Anniversary of the finale. Long Live Merlin!!!! This is the story I have always wanted to write. From the POV of Arthur , his internal dialogue and emotional struggle with Merlin’ s confession that he is a sorcerer . The actual dialogue and story pretty much follows the final episode up to the point where Mor gana catches up to them. From there it takes a drastic turn, diver ging wildly from canon, and creating a whole new ending. Enjoy and I hope you all love it as much as I do. Feedback appreciated. If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Aftermath Arthur was drowning in pitch-black darkness. His eyelids were heavy . The pain was like a lightning bolt in his side. Mordred, how could he have been so stupid to trust the boy? So, this is how it is all meant to end…with yet another betrayal by someone he cared about, someone he trusted. Arthur Pendragon...trusting fool. It seemed that his faith in others was to be his undoing. Maybe his father had been right not to depend on others…to not trust anyone. Another image penetrated the darkness, a fleeting glimpse of the old sorcerer…Dragoon? Why would the old man help him? Why would a sorcerer fight for Camelot, the kingdom that had persecuted his kind for decades? It didn’ t make any sense. The old man had killed his father and now he was carrying him from the battlefield…how in the hell was a doddery old man able to bear his weight in full armor? And why was he crying? Guinevere, his beautiful queen, at least Camelot would be in good hands. He could go to the other world knowing that. She would be a great leader and Merlin would be at her side to help her just as he had been for Arthur . His reign was done. He could die knowing the kingdom was safe. He just needed to let go. Arthur huf fed a breath and opened his eyes swallowing hard. There was a crackling fire near his feet and a familiar figure crouched on the other side of the flames. He knew that ratty brown jacket. But how did Merlin even find him? Where was the old sorcerer? “Merlin,” Arthur said, amazed that his voice still worked. “How are you feeling?” Merlin asked, immediately moving to his side as Arthur tried to sit up. “Ah, ah mmm,” Arthur grabbed Merlin as pain tore through his body . Merlin gripped Arthur ’s forearm where it lay against his shoulder , desperate to keep that connection to his king. “Lie back…lie back,” he said, his voice thick with worry . “Where have you been?” “It doesn't matter now .” “Ah, my side…my side,” Arthur said his head fell back, face twisting in pain. “You are bleeding,” Merlin glanced down at the wound. “That's all right. I thought I was dying,” Arthur said every breath a struggle. Merlin looked at him again his blue eyes shining with tears, his face etched with worry . “I'm sorry . I thought I'd defied the prophecy . I thought I was in time.” “What are you talking about?” “I defeated the Saxons. The dragon. And yet...and yet I knew it was Mordred that I must stop,” Merlin said. Arthur patted Merlin’ s shoulder squeezing gently as his eyes widened, a slight smile on his face, “The person who defeated them was the sorcerer .” “It was me,” Merlin said fretfully , grasping Arthur's wrist as tears pooled in his eyes. “Don't be ridiculous, Merlin,” Arthur said, shaking his head slightly , “This is stupid, why would you say that?” He stared at him, struggling to grasp what Merlin was trying to say . “I'm a...” Merlin’ s voice faltered, tears sliding down his face as he struggled to find the words he had imagined saying to Arthur so many times. “I'm a sorcerer . I have magic. And I use it for you, Arthur . Only for you,” he spoke with a quiet ur gency . “Merlin, you are not a sorcerer . I would know!” “Look…here,” Merlin held out his hand, palm facing up, and uttered words that Arthur did not understand. Suddenly a familiar glowing orb of light formed, and Arthur's eyes widened in surprise as he remembered…all those years ago. He remembered that light. Arthur looked at Merlin as the truth seared his pain-addled mind. No, no, no, not Merlin… not the one person he trusted more than any other . Magic…Merlin had magic…it was not true…it couldn’ t be true. This was wrong…just wrong. Arthur wanted to run away , to put as much distance between himself and this person he thought he knew , but his body refused to cooperate. T urning his head, he looked for a way to escape knowing full well there was none...not from this. “Leave me,” Arthur breathed, his eyes wide with fear and pain, his mouth turned down in a deep frown, body trembling with cold and fear . “Arthur ,” Merlin said, his voice pleading for him to understand. “No, just...you heard. Just...” Arthur said his voice filled with desperation, sadness, and a bone-deep feeling of betrayal that dwarfed anything he had felt with Mor gana…worse even than when he had caught Guinevere and Lancelot together . He glanced back to see that Merlin had reluctantly moved away , putting distance between them. The anguish in his eyes was almost too much for Arthur to bear , but he could not bring himself to call him back. Arthur awoke to the sound of footsteps approaching, for a moment he felt panic, but then he had Merlin to protect him. Merlin…his liar of a servant. He could still scarcely believe it. Merlin…a sorcerer…a goddamn sorcerer . But then he always knew there was something about him. And hadn’ t Merlin all but admitted it that day in the council chambers? Admitted to being the one who healed Gwen’ s father . And yet Arthur had made fun of him, convinced everyone that he was a fool in love with Gwen. T urns out that, yet again, it was Arthur who was the fool. Keeping his eyes closed, Arthur listened to Gaius and Merlin saying something about Saxons, Comfrey , and Sticklewort whatever the hell that was. “Merlin, why don’ t you water the horses? And make sure they are fed, we can’ t hide here for much longer ,” Gaius said. Arthur waited until Merlin had walked away and then opened his eyes. He reached for Gaius, grabbing hold of his robe. “He’ s a sorcerer!” he said, and the older man just looked at him. “Y ou knew .” Of course, he knew , Arthur , you idiot. The man took Merlin in and cared for him. “Arthur , he is your friend,” Gaius said. “I want him gone.” “There is no need to fear him.” “Have him take word to Camelot. T o Guinevere.” “You cannot send Merlin. I will go.” “I need a physician right now , not a sorcerer .” “He can do far more than me, far more than you can ever imagine. Arthur , he doesn’ t just have magic…there are those who say he is the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth.” “Merlin?” Arthur said completely befuddled. Then he remembered what Gaius has told him after Mor gana kidnapped him. One day you will learn, Arthur . One day you will understand...just how much they've done for you . Merlin…Gaius had been talking about Merlin. One day he would understand just how much Merlin had done for him. Then he remembered what The Dolma said that day at the Cauldron of Arianrhod. One day , great King, you will r ecognize the true worth of those that surr ound you. Merlin was missing because she was Merlin. Merlin saved Gwen…it was his magic. Arthur felt shame and sadness begin to eclipse his anger . “If you are to stand any chance of survival, you'll need Merlin to help you, not me,” Gaius said, and Arthur turned his head to look in the direction Merlin had gone while the older man finished examining his wound. “Arthur , there is a fragment of sword embedded in your chest. It is not an ordinary blade. Y ou must trust Merlin.” “Trust Merlin,” Arthur huf fed a laugh rolling his eyes, “I’ll never trust him again.” “Merlin has always believed in you, Arthur…please believe in him…have faith in him. I always have,” Gaius said. “Arthur , there is little choice. Y our only hope for survival is the Lake of A valon and the Sidhe. For only their magic can save you.” “The Sidhe…magical beings are going to be willing to heal me?” “I cannot say for certain, but there is no other option.” “Very well,” Arthur said reluctantly , “I will allow him to take me to the Lake of A valon, but after everything…all the betrayals…this one hurts the most. Merlin…” “Arthur , Merlin did not betray you. He wanted to tell you the truth so many times. If anyone is to blame it is me. It was I who told him to keep his magic a secret.” “He could have told me after my father died…Merlin killed my father .” “You’re wrong, Arthur ,” Gaius said forcefully , “Merlin did not kill the king. He tried to heal him, but Mor gana had Agravaine put a necklace around his neck that reversed any healing magic tenfold. In trying to save Uther…” “Merlin killed him…” “I only discovered the necklace after , and it was too late to do anything. Merlin was devastated. He was so afraid that he had turned you against magic forever . That you would never know him for who he truly is. That is all he has ever wanted, Sire, to be accepted by you.” “This is too much,” Arthur said, “Leave me, please.” “I am truly sorry , Arthur ,” Gaius said then he got up and went of f to talk to Merlin leaving Arthur to deal with his jumbled emotions. The pain in his side had faded somewhat, due to whatever Gaius had given him, leaving him with little distraction from the internal turmoil. Merlin…his idiot servant and friend…had magic. All this time he kept his secret. Made a fool out of Arthur and for what? What was his goal? What did he want from him? “Arthur ,” Merlin said apprehensively , and Arthur turned his head to look at him. “W e need to leave at first light.” “I’ll decide,” Arthur said quietly . “I can't let you die.” “It doesn't change anything,” Arthur replied then turned his head closing his eyes. He listened as Merlin walked away . His eyes burning with unshed tears, he heard Gaius speaking to Merlin. “Let him sleep. It's late. Y ou cannot travel tonight,” Gaius said, “Y ou were right to tell him.” Arthur feels another punch to his gut. Merlin was right to tell him…he was wrong to have kept his damn magic a secret all these years. And Gaius…he lied to protect Merlin. He risked his life keeping the truth from Uther Pendragon. Arthur winced as a sharp pain radiated upward from his wound. Could he really trust Merlin to take him to some magical place? T o allow some magical beings to heal him? Merlin was there for him after his father died. Merlin was always there for him, by his side through thick and thin. Loyal, brave, and strong, and yet he was a liar . I didn't want you to feel that you wer e alone. Dammit, Merlin. How could you do this to me? Arthur grimaced as he tried to shift his position only to give up when the pain became too much to bear . “Stupid foolish idiot,” he muttered under his breath, not sure if he was speaking of Merlin or of himself…maybe both. The rustle of the wind through the trees, the crickets chirping, the sound and smell of the campfire. Arthur looked up at the sky and remembered a night not long ago when he and Merlin had camped out alone in the woods near the cave of The Disir . Everything her e... is so full of life. Every tr ee, every leaf. Every insect. It's as if the world is vibrating. As if everything is much mor e than itself. Merlin felt all that when Arthur could not because Merlin had magic. Why then did he tell Arthur that there could be no place for magic in Camelot? W ouldn’ t he want magic to be free? For him to be free? Mordred…Merlin wanted to stop Mordred. He knew…the prophecy…Mordred was destined to kill him. That explained the constant tension between his servant and the young knight. And why Merlin was so upset that Arthur did not kill Mordred when he had a chance to do so. Arthur ’s head hurt from thinking. His side hurt. His heart hurt. The more pieces that fell into place in the complex riddle that was his servant, the more he wanted to punch something. The clearer things became, the more he wanted to scream. He almost wished he had died on the battlefield rather than having to deal with all this. He didn’ t want to deal with this. Mercifully , he managed to drift of f to sleep at some point during the night. Arthur awoke at dawn to Merlin stomping out what remained of the fire. He groaned, moving his head, his eyes heavy with sleep. The constant pain in his side forced his mind to focus on something other than Merlin. “Arthur , we have to go now ,” Merlin said softly , crouching next to him, “Please, trust me.” “You want me to trust you?” Arthur scof fed. “Please, Arthur . When we get back to Camelot, I will take whatever punishment you choose…I don’ t care. Just let me take you to A valon.” “And if I were to order you to be burned on the pyre?” Arthur asked, staring at him fixedly . Merlin’ s shoulders lifted, his expression stoic, determined, “If that is what you decide, then I will accept it…I’ll even save you the trouble and light the fire myself.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, you idiot. As if I could ever watch you die.” Merlin gave him a half smile and then helped him up of f the ground, with dif ficulty , but he managed to get him to the horse and maneuvered him into the saddle helping him to sit upright. Arthur reached up dragging a leather cord over his head. “Gaius,” Arthur called out and the old physician approached, “Give this to Guinevere.” “It's the Royal Seal, sire,” Gaius said as Arthur placed it in his open palm “If I am to die, I can think of no one who I would rather succeed me.” Gaius covered his hand with his own and nodded before he walked toward Merlin. “You know he was betrayed. The girl, Eira cannot be trusted,” Merlin said in warning. “I know .” “How long does he have?” Merlin asked trying to keep his voice down, but Arthur heard him anyway . “At best, two days.” Merlin nodded then walked past Gaius toward Arthur . “Merlin,” Gaius said, and he stopped turning back to face the older man. Gaius hugged him tightly , “I'll have your favorite meal waiting for you. Now go. Look after him. Go.” Merlin stepped between the two horses gathering up the reins as Arthur glanced down at Gaius. Merlin then led them away turning to look back at his mentor a look of dread in his blue eyes. They traveled in silence, Arthur hated the silence, but neither did he want to talk. He felt the wariness and fear emanating from Merlin, his head constantly on a swivel, eyes wide and vigilant. Why was he doing this? Why did he care so much? If he truly was the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, he didn’ t need Arthur . He had never once asked for anything. He could have used his magic to get whatever he wanted, but he did not. Why? Crossing the plains, the weather was gloomy , the wind biting. Arthur sat hunched over the saddle shivering beneath his armor . Merlin looked back seeing two men riding quickly toward them. “Saxons!” he stopped his horse and dismounted. Scrambling to grab the rolled blanket from behind his saddle, he unfolded and draped it over Arthur . “I'll deal with them. Keep your head down. Don't speak.” Arthur grabbed the edges of the blanket pulling it tighter around him to hide his face as Merlin stepped away looking down into the wooded valley below . A puf f of smoke suddenly rose from the trees below . It reminded Arthur of a time long ago when the woman witnessed the horse in the smoke. He closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath that Merlin did not hear . “Help us!” Merlin called out waving both arms in the air at the approaching riders, “Please you have to help us. W e were ambushed.” The Saxons dismount and walk toward him. “By whom?” one of them asked. “These two men,” Merlin said. “What did they look like?” “Um...one was...a knight.” Merlin glanced back at Arthur seeing the exposed hilt of Arthur ’s sword. “They stormed our camp,” he said pointing toward the smoke to distract the Saxons while he hurried to cover it with the blanket before they turned around. “You're sure it was a Camelot knight?” “Yeah.” The Saxon pushed Merlin back as he stepped forward then yanked the blanket of f Arthur . Both men drew their swords. Arthur watched as Merlin’ s arms came up, hands outstretched and both men screamed as they were thrown violently backward. “You've lied to me all this time.” Merlin said nothing, he just turned, retrieved the blanket, and got back in the saddle. Arthur gripped the reins with one hand ur ging his horse to follow . His chest hurt even more from the shock of seeing Merlin use magic so openly . The display of his immense power only serving to fortify the sense of betrayal. They rode until dark, then Merlin helped Arthur of f his horse and down onto his bedroll which he had placed near the base of a tree so that his upper body was slightly elevated to keep the pressure of f his wound. Arthur watched as he gathered wood. After several minutes of failed attempts to start a fire with flints, Arthur huf fed a breath. “Why don’ t you use magic?” Arthur asked. “Habit, I suppose,” Merlin said, looking at him questioningly . Arthur nodded then watched as his servant’ s eyes turned gold and the wood burst into flame. “Feels strange.” “Yeah,” Arthur said flatly , eyeing Merlin as he stood and went to grab his own bedroll. “I thought I knew you.” Merlin met his gaze, “I’m still the same person.” “I trusted you.” “I'm sorry ,” Merlin said, his eyes flickering with sadness, regret, and something else Arthur could not decipher . “I'm sorry too.” Merlin looked at Arthur then got up, moving toward him, and proceeded to remove his boots. “What are you doing?” “They need drying,” Merlin said positioning the boots near the fire just as he had done countless times in the past then returned to his bedroll. “This will be good for you. Y ou need to eat,” Merlin said, supporting Arthur ’s head as he tried to get him to eat. “Why are you doing this?” Arthur asked and Merlin placed the spoon back in the bowl. “Why are you still behaving like a servant?” Merlin sat the bowl down on the ground. “It's my destiny . As it has been since the day we met,” he said giving his king a slight smile. “I tried to take your head of f with a mace.” “And I stopped you, using magic.” “You cheated!” “You were going to kill me,” Merlin shrugged. “I should've.” “I'm glad you didn't. I do this because of who you are. W ithout you, Camelot's nothing.” “There was a time when that was true. Not now . There are many who can fill the crown.” “There will never be another like you, Arthur . I also do this...” Merlin rested the bowl on his knee, supporting Arthur's head as he got him to take a bite of the soup, “Because you're my friend and I don't want to lose you.” Arthur could feel himself weakening. It was all he could do to remain upright on the bent tree he was sitting on while Merlin prepared the horses. Pulling a waterskin from his saddlebag, Merlin turned just in time to see Arthur slump over and hurried to his side to catch him before he fell. “Arthur , you need to hold on. One more day. One more day ,” he said as he wiped Arthur's head with a cloth. He then put the cloth down and removed the top from the waterskin. “Why did you never tell me?” Arthur asked. “I wanted to, but...” “What?” “You'd have chopped my head of f,” Merlin said then gave Arthur a drink of water . “I'm not sure what I would've done.” “And I didn't want to put you in that position.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “That's what worried you?” “Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me…I was born to serve you, Arthur . And I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't change a thing,” Merlin said then he looked at Arthur , “Ready?” Arthur nodded then Merlin helped him to stand, and they moved toward the horses. Merlin was leading the way when he suddenly stopped and held up his hand. Arthur stopped as they both saw the smoke from a campfire through the trees just ahead. “Saxons?” Arthur asked, then watched as Merlin clearly did something. His shoulders visibly relaxed a moment later . “They're long gone.” “How do you know?” “I can see the path ahead,” Merlin said, and Arthur immediately remembered the impenetrable forest and how Merlin got them through it and to the Dark T ower to rescue Guinevere. “So, you're not an idiot. That was another lie.” “No, it’ s just another part of my charm,” Merlin grinned then nudged his horse forward and Arthur followed. It wasn’ t long before they both heard riders and men approaching from the other direction. Merlin held his hand up and looked around then nodded to their right. “In there,” he said, and they rode of f the path and up an incline into a stand of trees. Arthur stood with his back against the tree for support while Merlin watched the approaching riders. He moved around the tree realizing that their tracks would be seen. “ Andslyht !” he said and out of nowhere a breeze picked up the leaves, covering over their trail. The Saxons stopped and looked around. Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold making the bushes across the trail rustle. “This way ,” one of the men shouted and they moved of f in the other direction. “You've done this before,” Arthur said, remembering the wind in Ealdor as Merlin turned to look at him. “All these years, Merlin…you never once sought any credit.” “It's not why I do it,” Merlin said, “Come on.” He then draped Arthur ’s arm over his shoulders and helped him back to their horses. They hadn’ t gone far when Merlin looked back to see Arthur slumped over the side of his horse. “Arthur!” Merlin immediately dismounted and went to his side helping him to sit upright. “I can't go on.” “There's not far to go. W e need to reach the lake before dawn.” “No, Merlin. No.” “All right. W e rest for an hour .” It didn’ t take long for Merlin to get a fire going. He glanced over at Arthur where he sat on the ground leaning back against a dead tree. He moved to sit on the log and gave him a drink of water . Arthur looked up at Merlin. “Merlin, whatever happens...” “Shh...don't talk.” “I'm the King, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do,” Arthur said with just a glimmer of amusement in his pain-filled eyes in an echo of their familiar banter . “I always have. I'm not going to change now .” “I don't want you to change. I want you...to always...be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you.” “Does that mean you're gonna give me a day of f?” “Two,” Arthur said. “That's generous,” Merlin said then as Arthur's head lolled and fell forward, he checked his pulse. “Get some sleep,” he whispered then looked around warily silently praying. Merlin had a very bad feeling as he looked up at the moon. He went to Arthur ’s side, shaking him gently . “W e need to get moving,” Arthur barely opened his eyes, and Merlin shook him again. “Arthur . We've wasted enough time.” The sun was just coming up when they stop to rest again. Merlin helped Arthur of f the horse and lowered him down to the ground up against a rock. He nodded toward the view of the lake below . “Avalon. W e'll get there,” Merlin said and a moment later the horses whinnied and spooked taking of f. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he shouted but they were gone. “Hello, Emrys,” Mor gana’ s voice came from behind him, and he turned around. Mor gana’ s eyes flash and he was thrown across the clearing. Arthur instinctively reached for his sword, but it was not there. Mor gana approached him like a predator stalking her prey . “What a joy it is to see you, Arthur . Look at you…not so tall and mighty now ,” she gave him a smug smile, “Y ou may have won the battle, but you've lost the war . You're going to die by Mordred's hand. But don't worry , my dear brother , I won't let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you until the wolves gor ge on your carcass and bathe in your blood.” “No, the time for all this bloodshed is over ,” Merlin said, and Mor gana spun around standing to face him. “I blame myself for what you've become...but this has to end.” “Please, as if you can stop me, Merlin. Besides, it is too late,” Mor gana smiled, “Arthur is dying. Y our beloved king cannot be saved no matter what you do to me.” “No!” Merlin said, his eyes darkening with rage and desperation. “Poor Emrys…with all your magic, you have still failed Arthur…failed Camelot.” Mor gana glared at him, her voice sharp as a blade, “Y our decisions brought us here. Y ou chose to sacrifice everyone else for the man you love.” Mor gana relaxed her shoulders and let out a sigh, “Ironic isn’ t it…that your obsession with protecting my brother will end in his death despite all you have done to prevent it. Merlin met Arthur ’s pained gaze as the king shook his head. “Merlin—Merlin don’ t listen to her…Mor gana is wrong,” Arthur said pleadingly , and Merlin gave him a ghost of a smile. “No, she’ s right,” Merlin smiled sadly , and Arthur ’s eyes went wide, “I love you, Arthur . I cannot let you die…” “Merlin!” Arthur shouted. He watched Merlin’ s eyes turn bright gold as he lunged forward wrapping a startled Mor gana in his embrace. T ilting his head back, he uttered a spell that had her screaming at the top of her lungs as they were trapped in a swirling wind. “Merlin, no!” Arthur tried to get to his feet, but he was too weak. He could only watch in horror as the vortex became a twisted, writhing form of darkness and light…ripping what could only be magic from their very souls creating a wave of power that rolled outward from their cores. A wave that washed over the land and hit Arthur full force then everything went black… Destiny Be Damned “My Lord,” Arthur struggled to open his eyes as he heard a familiar voice. “Arthur…you’re alive, Merlin saved you,” Percival said his huge hands trembling as he gently shook the king. “Merlin,” Arthur said softly , “Merlin!” he shouted gripping Percival’ s arm. “Where is he?” he asked trying to see past his knight, but Percival was using his body to keep Arthur from seeing the aftermath of whatever Merlin had done to save him. “Let me up…let me go!” “Sire, don’ t…Arthur , he’s—he’ s gone,” Percival choked on the words, “They are both gone.” “No!” Arthur said shoving the knight aside with surprising strength considering he had been on the ver ge of death. He pushed himself up of f the ground. Stumbling forward, he landed on his knees next to Merlin’ s motionless body . “Merlin, no, you cannot leave me. I was meant to die, not you. Dammit…Merlin,” he shouted, dragging his friend into his arms and cradling him. “Merlin—Merlin please…come on. I need you!” Arthur pressed his fingers to Merlin’ s neck praying he would find a heartbeat but there was nothing. He pressed their foreheads together . A deep, guttural cry of grief came out of him startling Percival who hovered nearby uncertain of what to do for his king. “Merlin!” Arthur shouted shaking him, “Y ou idiot…why did you do this? Y ou did not have to die for me, I never wanted this. I am so sorry…so sorry , Merlin. I love you too…I never told you. I should have told you.” Percival swiped at his tears with the back of his hand, stunned by the king’ s words to Merlin. Everyone had known there was a unique and powerful bond between Arthur and Merlin, but to hear Arthur express it in such a way was heart-wrenching. Arthur held Merlin, rocking him gently , his hand splayed wide across his chest. He shook his head tears streaming down his face. He spared a glance at Mor gana, his dead sister , and realized that he felt no anger only sadness and regret. He had let her down, failed her in every way imaginable. He failed her and he had failed Merlin. “I’m sorry—so sorry ,” Arthur choked drawing Merlin against him. He got his feet underneath him and stood up, lifting Merlin from the ground. Percival stepped forward to help him, but the king shook his head. “No,” Arthur said then carried Merlin toward the lake. “Your Highness,” Percival said, “Y ou cannot carry him…it’ s too far .” “I must get Merlin to A valon, the Sidhe will heal him…bring him back to me,” Arthur said, his voice edged with determination. “I cannot lose him.” “Sire, look!” Percival said pointing up into the sky . Arthur looked up as the Great Dragon soared overhead. “My sword!” he bellowed as he gently lowered Merlin to the ground. The dragon circled once then landed in front of them his eyes focused on Merlin and only Merlin. “Merlin?” the dragon said, startling Arthur and Percival. “You can speak?” Arthur asked. “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon rumbled. “What do you want? What business do you have here?” “Merlin…he is dead.” “He—he gave his life for me. I do not know what he did. Mor gana…” “The witch is dead,” the dragon growled. “Yes, magic…” The dragon bowed his head. “Y oung W arlock, I never meant for this…” he said, “This was not your destiny , Merlin.” Arthur stared at the massive creature and for some reason, he felt no fear . There was obviously something…a bond between him and Merlin that he clearly did not understand and at the moment he did not want to know . “Can you help him?” Arthur asked, desperation in his voice. “I cannot…perhaps if he still had his magic, but it is gone. His immortality is gone.” “Immortality?” Arthur asked, his mouth dropping open, “Y ou’re saying he was meant to live forever , and he gave it all up for me?” “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon said, “Y ou were meant to die, and Merlin was meant to live on, waiting for your return when Albion needed you most.” Arthur dropped to his knees next to Merlin and caressed his cheek. “Merlin, dammit,” he choked on his breath and tears slid down his face again. “Y ou weren’ t supposed to die for me.” “There is nothing you can do, Great King,” the dragon said, “Merlin is gone.” “What was that? What did he do?” Arthur asked. “The spell Merlin used to destroy the witch, it separated them both from their magic forcing it from their souls and casting it out over the land. It healed you, healed me…I was dying. It is why I was unable to come when Merlin called me.” “Called you?” Percival asked the question before Arthur could get it out. “Merlin is—was the last of his kind…the last of the Dragonlords. Like his father before him.” “His father? Balinor was Merlin’ s father?” Arthur asked, his eyes wide. “Yes, Arthur ,” the dragon said, “His gift was passed down to Merlin when he died.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “So many secrets…such a heavy burden he carried. And for what?” “For you, King Arthur .” “This cannot be. I cannot lose him…he’ s my friend!” “And yet it is done. Merlin made his choice. He chose to die for you.” “I did not ask for this. I would never…please, there must be someone who can bring him back.” “I am sorry , there is nothing that can be done. His magic is gone from his body .” Arthur lifted Merlin from the ground and looked up at the dragon. “If I can get him to Avalon, the Sidhe could heal him.” The dragon shook his head, “The Sidhe are powerful, but even they cannot bring Merlin back. I am truly sorry , Arthur . Merlin is gone. W ithout his magic…” “Then bring it back!” Arthur shouted. “It has been returned to where it came from.” “Where is that?” “The earth…the sky…the sea,” the dragon said, “Merlin was born with magic…he was magic. W ithout it, he cannot exist.” Arthur struggled to hold on to Merlin’ s body refusing Percival’ s continued attempts to help. He looked up at the dragon. “I am supposed to just let him go?” he asked. “I am afraid you have no other choice.” Arthur dropped to his knees again holding Merlin in his arms. His hands trembling. He shook his head slowly then pressed his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender kiss. He choked back a sob and gathered Merlin close. “Gods, I am so sorry , Merlin…please for give me,” he gasped. “For give me…” he cried out, gently shaking his friend’ s lifeless body . The sound of an approaching rider had Percival drawing his sword. He crept slowly back in the direction they had come thinking it could be one of Mor gana’ s Saxons. Instead, a figure emer ged from the woods and stopped cold as he saw them. “Arthur!” Gwaine exclaimed and Percival nearly dropped his sword in shock, “Arthur , thank the Gods you’re alive.” “Gwaine, you were…you were dead,” Percival stuttered. “Yes, and then I wasn’ t,” Gwaine grinned, but as he came closer , he saw who Arthur was holding in his arms. “Merlin…Merlin, no, no, no,” he choked stumbling forward and dropping to his knees beside his best friends. “What—what happened?” he asked. “Merlin…” Arthur choked, unable to get the words out. “Merlin’ s magic was released,” the dragon responded instead, and Gwaine barely looked at him, “It healed me and apparently brought you back to life, Sir Gwaine.” “Dammit, Merlin, I knew it…I knew you were special,” Gwaine said, his shoulders vibrating as tears pooled in his eyes, “Y ou cannot be dead.” “It’s all my fault,” Arthur whispered shaking his head. “Mor gana?” Gwaine asked. “Dead,” Percival said. “Merlin killed her , and he destroyed himself in the process. For me.” He smiled sadly as he tenderly stroked Merlin’ s face then smoothed his dark hair . “I will honor you, Merlin. I will be the king you saw in me all along…I will do it for you…” He closed his eyes tightly against the tears and shook his head. “Merlin…” he sobbed and Gwaine reached over to place a comforting hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “Arthur ,” Percival said, “Should we take Merlin home now?” Arthur looked up at him then the dragon and shook his head. “No, Merlin is magic. I will not see him burn on a funeral pyre in the square. W e will take him to the lake. Something deep inside me says that is where he belongs.” “Gwaine and I will round up the horses and take you there,” Percival nodded then he and Gwaine headed back into the woods. “You are right, Arthur ,” the dragon said, “A valon is where Merlin belongs.” “You said there was a prophecy that I would return, and he would be waiting for me.” “That is true.” “Then it is possible he could return as I would have. I will wait for him,” Arthur said, his eyes filled with intense emotion. “Arthur…” the dragon shook his head. “I will wait for him!” “Very well, Great King.” Arthur looked at Merlin again and nodded, “I will wait for you, Merlin. As long as it takes.” The sky was a blazing fire, the sun was setting over the Lake of A valon as Merlin’ s body was laid out on a bed of reeds, greenery , and flowers in a wooden boat. Arthur stood on the shore with his sword in hand, the sword Merlin had made for him. For ged in a dragon’ s breath… Kilgharrah told him the truth about its creation and its purpose. Merlin had given him the sword when he needed it most, helped him to find his confidence again…to believe in himself when all things seemed hopeless. He held it reverently , the blade glowing in the light of the sunset. “Arthur ,” Gwaine said, looking at him intently , “Ready?” Arthur approached the boat and looked down at Merlin, “I will see you again, Merlin.” He brushed his hand along the side of his face then leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s. He stepped back and after Gwaine and Percival said their goodbyes, they pushed the boat of f the shore then the three of them watched it drift out on the current. The Great Dragon flew overhead swooping down to set the boat on fire and Arthur ’s stood there watching it burn, feeling like his heart was shattered. Not even the pull of Camelot and the longing to see Guinevere again could make him leave that spot at that moment. His Merlin was gone…the other half of his soul. He felt the pang of regret and loss, but more than that he longed to be able to tell Merlin what he truly meant to him. No one would ever be able to fill the void he left behind. Percival and Gwaine were reluctant to leave him alone, but finally walked back to their camp and the warmth of the fire, and Arthur was left to his grief watching the boat burn and vanish beneath the water ’s surface. “Arthur ,” a woman’ s voice called out, seeming to come from the lake, “Arthur , do not worry . I shall watch over him for he was my love as well.” “Who are you?” he asked. “I am Freya, Arthur , Merlin saved me, he loved me, and he loved you, My King.” Arthur smiled, his eyes shining in the waning light. “T ell him…” he said his voice breaking. “He knows, Arthur…he has always known.” “Thank you.” “Live well and honor his sacrifice, Arthur .” “I will, I swear ,” he nodded, “Freya, will he ever return?” “That I do not know ,” she said. “Of course,” Arthur said softly then slowly turned and walked toward the camp. His wound may have been healed, but he still felt like he had a gaping hole in the middle of his chest. A hole that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Gwaine looked up at him as he approached, and Arthur could see the haunted look in his eyes. He had died and come back and his best friend who brought him back was dead. They would never get over the loss of Merlin. No one in Camelot would. “I’m not even going to ask if you’re all right,” Gwaine said as Arthur sat down across the fire from him. “I know you’re not because I’m definitely not, and Merlin…” his voice trailed of f as tears pooled in his eyes and he ran a hand through his long hair . Arthur gave him a sad smile and nodded, “One thing…when I went to the Perilous Lands, the man on the bridge called me Courage and said that in order to complete my quest I would need Strength and Magic…now I know what he meant. I needed you and Merlin…Strength and Magic.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh and nodded wiping the tears from his eyes. “Part of me wishes I was still dead…I would gladly die so Merlin could live.” “No, Gwaine…” Percival said softly . “Merlin would want you to live,” Arthur said as he added wood to the fire. “The selfless idiot,” Gwaine shook his head his lips parting in a fond smile. “Gwaine, you took Merlin somewhere…before the battle,” Arthur said and Gwaine nodded. “Yes, he was searching for something. I knew something was wrong. W e went to the V alley of the Fallen Kings, to a cave. Along the way , we were attacked by bandits, and Merlin was knocked to the ground. He cried out for me, his voice filled with such fear…I had never seen him so afraid, so uncertain.” “A cave?” Percival asked, “Y ou mean the Crystal Cave…” “You know of it?” “Only the stories. It was said that the place was magical…actually the birthplace of all magic.” “Why did Merlin go there?” Arthur asked. “He must have been looking for magic,” Gwaine said, “The panic he felt when the bandits attacked, he must have lost his magic and needed to get it back before he could join you at Camlann, Arthur . It is the only thing that makes sense. I asked him how he would get back to Camelot without me to protect him, he told me that if he found what he was looking for , he would be perfectly safe.” “Gods, I was such a fool,” Arthur shook his head, “Before he left, he told me that he had vital supplies to obtain for Gaius…I didn’ t believe him.” Running his fingers through his hair he let out a pained sound. “I all but called him a coward…all because he would not be coming with me. I was so stupid. I should have known…” “You can’ t blame yourself, Arthur ,” Gwaine said. “The look in his eyes…I really hurt him. I should have realized he was in trouble, but I was too focused on my own selfish needs.” “Why didn’ t he just tell us?” Gwaine asked shaking his head, “W e were his best friends. W e would have protected him.” “I asked him that,” Arthur said, “And he told me he was afraid that I would chop of f his head. That he never wanted to put me in a position to have to choose between Camelot’ s laws and him. T o be forced to lie to my father for him.” “You would have done so gladly ,” Percival frowned, “Y ou would never have let any harm come to him.” “It is my fault for not telling him what he meant to me.” “You should have knighted him,” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “Sir Merlin,” Percival huf fed a laugh. Gwaine fell silent staring into the flames. Arthur poked at the fire with a stick. Merlin’ s constant prattle used to fill the silence. Now , it was just silence…an overwhelming, dark, and cold silence. The king closed his eyes reaching into his memories for moments to fill the void. He chuckled softly and shook his head. “Merlin,” Arthur said, tears glinting in his eyes even as he was overcome with mirth. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, fearing his friend was crossing the line into madness. “Merlin…the old sorcerer was Merlin. I just remembered when he was captured and brought in front of my father . He called him a stupid arrogant old tyrant right to his face. He saved Guinevere from the pyre, almost getting himself burned at the stake instead, and the entire time I thought he was in the tavern.” Gwaine chuckled, “Y ou know he was rarely ever in the tavern.” “I realize that now . All the times I thought he was drinking himself stupid he was using magic to save me and Camelot.” Percival returned then, having gone to gather more wood. He dropped it on the ground and sat down. “Y ou’re telling me, that old sorcerer in the battle was Merlin?” he asked. “Yes, Dragoon, he was Merlin…and the Dolma,” Arthur laughed. “The Dolma?” Gwaine asked. “The sorceress at the Cauldron of Arianrhod where we took Guinevere to free her of Morgana’ s dark magic. Merlin could not use his magic in front of me and he could not be Dragoon for obvious reasons, so he became an old woman.” “Merlin turned himself into a woman?” Percival asked raising an eyebrow . “Not sure if he actually was a woman or just looked like one, but he was convincing,” Arthur smiled, “No wonder The Dolma got upset when we nearly for got Merlin.” “You for got him,” Gwaine said. “Not exactly , well yes, but in my own defense, my mind was on Guinevere and getting her back to Camelot. I came so close to losing her . Merlin knew even before I did that something was wrong with her . He always knew .” “Because he was a servant,” Percival said. “Servants are invisible, they see things that others miss,” Gwaine shrugged. “That and he knew Guinevere well, she was his first friend in Camelot,” Arthur shook his head. “So many things make sense now that didn’ t before. How did I not realize that he had magic?” “I knew there was something about him. I even remember the man at the bridge calling him Magic, but I didn’ t put it all together until now ,” Gwaine frowned. “How many times?” Percival asked, “How many times did Merlin save you?” “I don’ t know ,” Arthur said then tossed his stick on the fire, “I guess now I’ll never know .” “I can’ t wait to get back to Camelot and drink myself into oblivion,” Gwaine said. “Yeah,” Percival nodded. “Gaius,” Arthur shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes tightly , “How am I going to tell Gaius…Merlin was like a son to him. He is going to be devastated.” “I will tell him,” Gwaine said. “No, it is my responsibility . I will tell him. Gods…Hunith…” “Merlin’ s mother . I could go to Ealdor , Arthur ,” Gwaine said. “This is going to kill her . Merlin was her entire world,” Arthur dropped his head into his hands. “We will return to Camelot with you, Sire, then Gwaine and I can go to Ealdor to inform her.” Arthur ’s shoulders vibrated as a desperate and anguished cry slipped out before he could stop it. He brought his arms up hands clasped behind his neck as the dam broke and he came apart at the seams unable to stop the deluge. Gwaine got to his feet and moved to Arthur ’s side, “Arthur , it’s all right…just let it out.” Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions under control. “I can’ t—can’ t do this. I am the king…I should be stronger ,” he said as he rocked forward closing his eyes tightly . Gwaine wrapped his arm around Arthur ’s neck patting his chest. “You loved Merlin, Arthur , no one can expect you to hold all this in and not lose it. Better to let it out now when it is just us, yeah?” Arthur leaned into Gwaine, “I need him back…I want Merlin back.” “I know ,” Gwaine said meeting Percival’ s gaze, “W e will find a way to get through this.” “Drunken stupor?” Arthur asked. “If that’ s what it takes,” Percival said, and Arthur attempted a smile. “He wasn’ t supposed to die…not for me…not like this.” “Merlin would have done anything for you, Arthur . You know that. Knowing now that he had magic, I am certain it was him that night in the square. He escaped from the dungeon and used magic to extinguish all the flames so he could slip by us in the darkness and get to you when you were dying from the poison. There is no other explanation. Merlin saved you that night then somehow made his way back to his cell without us noticing.” “I gave all the credit to Gaius,” Arthur said rolling his eyes, “Gods, Merlin…” “The point is, Merlin would always choose death if it meant that you would live on to fulfill your destiny . He saw a chance and took it.” “Mor gana…she was my sister and yet I feel nothing for her .” “After all she did to you and your people, it is understandable,” Percival said. “Merlin said he blamed himself for what she had become. Mor gana told him it was his decisions that brought us here…he had been so focused on protecting me that he brought about the very thing he was trying to prevent. When he and I went to the Disir , Merlin betrayed his own heart. He said I should not allow magic back in Camelot believing that Mordred would die. He wanted him to die because he knew he was destined to kill me.” “That is the way with prophecy ,” Percival said, “Just because it is foretold does not mean it will come to be.” “Mordred lived and Merlin was forced to remain in darkness hiding who he truly was,” Arthur said, “I knew there was tension between the two of them, I had no idea why .” Gwaine frowned, “Leon and I interrupted something between them in the corridor one day they were in heated conversation. Mordred was clearly furious, he stormed of f. Merlin just said it was nothing, but we did not believe him.” Arthur closed his eyes for a moment then tilted his head back looking up at the night sky . “The burden Merlin was forced to carry on his shoulders. He must have felt so alone all these years…isolated. He had only Gaius and the damn dragon to turn to.” “Sire, you should try to get some sleep. W e can head back to Camelot at first light,” Percival said. Arthur nodded, wiped his eyes then let out a ragged breath. Gwaine stood up, getting his bedroll laying it out next to the fire and Arthur laid down on it. It took hours for him to finally fall asleep. And in his dreams, he saw Merlin smiling. “Merlin,” Arthur said in his sleep. Remember me, Arthur…r emember me and I will always be. Arthur jolted upright pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. Gwaine was awake keeping watch for Saxons that might still be in the area. “Arthur?” “I’m all right, just…” “What?” “Merlin…he spoke to me in my dream.” Gwaine smiled, “Y ou see, he will always be with you.” “I know he will be.” “The sun is coming up, Y our Highness, we should return to Camelot,” Percival said as he got up to pack their few belongings and take care of the horses. “Ready?” Gwaine asked placing a hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “No,” Arthur said getting to his feet anyway , “The thought of returning to Camelot without Merlin…it’ s just so hard to imagine not having him there. He became such an important part of the kingdom. People loved him.” “Then it is our job to make sure they never for get him and the sacrifices he made,” Gwaine smiled. Arthur nodded his lips parting in a soft smile, “Let’ s go home.” “My Lady ,” Leon said as he burst into the council chambers, “The king…he has been seen approaching Camelot. He is with Gwaine and Percival. He is alive!” “Oh, thank God,” Gwen gasped then followed Leon out, heading for the courtyard. She descended the steps just as Arthur rode through the gates coming toward her with Gwaine and Percival riding just a step behind. She watched the gates fully expecting to see Merlin. He had done it…he had saved Arthur . When Merlin did not appear , she met Arthur ’s gaze and her heart dropped. “No, no, not Merlin,” she cried, shaking her head. Arthur dismounted and she immediately flew into his arms. He held her tightly burying his face in her dark hair to hide his grief from the people. She cupped the back of his head holding him, feeling every shudder…every barely restrained sob. “Arthur ,” Gwen said, “Shh, my love. Y ou are home…you are alive.” “Merlin…” Arthur choked. “He saved you.” “Guinevere, he was a sorcerer .” “I know ,” Gwen smiled through her tears, drawing back to frame his face with her hands, “I know he had magic. He was always by your side, protecting you. What happened, Arthur?” “Mor gana caught up to us, she…Merlin killed her , she is dead. He brought us peace, but it cost him his life. In destroying her , he destroyed himself. It wasn’ t supposed to be…it was not his destiny . I was meant to die, Guinevere.” “But you did not, and I am so happy and grateful. I could not live without you, Arthur . Merlin gave his life for you and for that he will be honored.” “I want him back.” “I know , so do I, Arthur . Come inside, let’ s get you some food and you can rest.” Arthur shook his head, “There is something I must do first. I need to tell Gaius. And I need to write a letter to Hunith. Gwaine and Percival are going to ride to Ealdor to…to tell her that her son is dead.” “Sire,” Leon said, “I will go. Gwaine and Percival need food and rest as well. I will leave immediately .” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her…tell her that I am sorry . Gods, I should go…I should be there. Merlin was my best friend. I should be the one…” Leon put a hand on Arthur's shoulder , “You are clearly exhausted, My Lord, let me do this for you. I will bring Hunith back with me then you can speak with her in person.” “All right, Leon, thank you. T ake a few men with you. I do not want you going alone.” “We will leave within the hour , Arthur ,” Leon gave a nod then watched as Arthur climbed the steps with Gwen’ s arms around him. Percival and Gwaine gave Leon a grateful nod and then followed. Hearing the commotion in the square, Gaius was just coming around the corner when Gwen and Arthur came up the stairs and Arthur stopped when he saw him. The old physician looked past them and shook his head. “Where is Merlin?” he asked. “Gaius…” Arthur said his voice soft, eyes shining with tears, “Merlin…” “No, no, it can’ t be,” Gaius gasped, “Not Merlin…” “I’m so sorry , Gaius. He saved me. Merlin—Merlin is gone…he’ s dead.” Gaius stumbled back a step to lean against the wall, clutching his chest. Gwaine and Arthur both rushed forward to steady him and ease him down onto a bench. His hands were shaking violently as he closed his eyes. “What—what happened?” he asked. Arthur crouched down in front of him and grasped his shoulder . “Mor gana caught up to us. Merlin did something, I am not exactly sure what, but Kilgharrah said that his magic and Morgana’ s was returned to the earth the sea, and the sky . Merlin gave up his magic and his immortality…for me. I am so sorry , Gaius. It was not supposed to happen like this. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gaius shook his head, “I should have known. Merlin always said he would gladly die for you, Arthur . He loved you.” “I know—I know he did. He told me,” Arthur said, gently squeezing Gaius’ shoulder . “Did he suf fer?” Gaius asked his voice breaking. Arthur shook his head, “It all happened so fast. I tried to get to him, but this wave of magic…it washed over the land. It healed me and Kilgharrah and it brought Gwaine back to life. God knows what else it did. I have never seen anything like it, Gaius.” “I had no idea Merlin even knew of such a spell,” Gaius said. “Leon is riding out with some men within the hour to Ealdor .” “I should go with them,” Gaius said, “Hunith trusted me to protect her son and I failed.” “No, Gaius, it was I who failed,” Arthur said, “Not you. I should have known long ago…I should have seen the burden Merlin carried. No one is to blame but me.” “Arthur , it was I who ur ged Merlin to hide his magic. I wanted to keep him safe.” “And you did, Gaius. Y ou took him in, and you were there for him when no one else was. You treated him like a son, and I know he was grateful for that. I know the truth now , about his magic, about Balinor . I for gave him, I accepted him, and I told him as much before he died. My only regret is I did not tell him how much he meant to me, and how much I loved him. For Merlin, I am going to lift the ban on magic. And while I know it is of little consolation, I want to honor him and his sacrifice. Merlin will never be for gotten, and the people will know who he truly was and what he meant to their king.” “Thank you, Arthur ,” Gaius nodded, tears in his eyes, “Merlin wanted so badly for you to see him for who he was, and you should know that it pained him to keep his secret, from you especially .” “Merlin once asked me if I would call him a hero if he died. I should have told him then, but I was a fool. I failed to appreciate him. He was always there for me. Magic aside, he was the one person I knew I could always count on. He was a hero in every way .” “For what it is worth, Sire, Merlin felt the same. Even though he kept his secret, he did trust you. He gave all that he was for you.” “I know ,” Arthur nodded then looked at Gwaine and Percival, “Could you two please take Gaius to his chambers then once he is settled get some rest yourselves.” “Yes, Sire,” Percival nodded. “If you need me,” Gwaine said to Arthur . “I’ll be all right, go now ,” Arthur nodded then watched the three men walk away before turning to Guinevere. She stepped into his embrace kissing him tenderly . “Come, Arthur let’ s get you cleaned up and fed then you will rest,” Gwen smiled cupping his cheek, “I am so glad you are home.” “So am I,” Arthur said then let her lead him toward their chambers. Truth and Honor Arthur stood at the wall where he and Merlin had stood so many times. The place where he had said goodbye to his servant before he left to return to Ealdor all those years ago to save his village from Kanen and his bandits. He smiled as he remembered walking across the grass, acting like children pushing and bumping shoulders as they took of f running… friends…best friends. The sun was just coming up, Arthur had been awake all night. Every time he closed his eyes to sleep he saw Merlin dying over and over again. He missed him, his laugh…but then Merlin had not really laughed in so long. How had he not noticed? It was not just the magic Arthur had been oblivious to, but the loneliness, pain, and loss. The overwhelming weight of their shared destiny had been carried by Merlin alone. Arthur bowed his head. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a piece of cloth, faded blue, shabby yet beautiful. Merlin’ s scarf…he had found it in his room, it was the one his servant had been wearing the night he nearly died after throwing himself between Arthur and the Doracha. It still smelled like wood, herbs, and Merlin. The king smiled clutching it in his hand as tears slid down his face. “Arthur…” Arthur flinched, turning to see Gwaine standing behind him his face etched with worry and understanding. Arthur shook his head. “The queen sent me to look for you,” Gwaine said. “You found me,” Arthur responded, his voice sounding hollow even to his own ears. “You’ve been up here all night?” “No, just a couple of hours. Couldn’ t sleep.” “Gwen said you never returned to your chambers.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I sat in his room for hours. Been wandering the castle most of the night. Merlin was such a presence here…everything just feels wrong without him. He touched so many lives. How are we supposed to just go on without him? It’ s not right.” “I heard Gaius is staying in a room at the inn,” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “He is heartbroken. I fear for his health.” “And you?” Gwaine asked. Arthur met his gaze and shook his head, “How did I not see it? He was always there for me. How did I not see that he had grown so callous, so focused on keeping me safe? Gwaine, he changed, and I missed it. I should have been there for him. Maybe…maybe if I had, he would still be here…instead of lying on the bottom of that godforsaken lake.” “Arthur , you are not the only one who failed Merlin,” Gwaine said, “He was my best friend too, and I did not see it either . I was so focused on my duties as a Knight of Camelot, drinking in the tavern, gambling, and pretty girls. I should have been there for him too, and I wasn’ t.” “Yet it was you he turned to for help when he lost his magic, and when Gaius was kidnapped, because I refused to listen. Lancelot…you…he could not come to me for help because I was an arrogant prat who refused to take his worries and his warnings seriously . He was forced to fight his battles in secret.” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur , folding his arms across his chest as he turned and leaned back against the wall. “Why didn’ t you listen to him?” “Because I was a fool. I took him for granted. I could not see past my own pride to accept that Merlin was far more intelligent and discerning than I was. He was always better at observing and reading people. People like Agravaine…Merlin knew he was working against me. He tried to warn me, and I did not listen.” Arthur shook his head fighting his emotions, “I have a sick feeling that Merlin was forced to deal with him when it should have been me.” “What do you mean?” Gwaine asked. “Looking back now , when we were in the tunnels near Ealdor , Merlin went back to create a distraction, to give us time to escape. I think Merlin killed him.” Arthur leaned forward resting his hands on the top of the wall and shook his head. “How many times was Merlin forced to kill for me? His innocence was lost…his morals became blurred, his smile faded, and I failed to notice.” “We all did, Arthur . Merlin was very adept at hiding, not just his magic, but his pain and fear as well. When he found me in Engerd and asked for my help when you had gone to the Perilous Lands, I saw then how devoted to you he was…how far he would go to make sure you survived whatever threat you faced.” “The Doracha,” Arthur said softly , “Merlin threw himself at them. He was terrified, but he did not even hesitate…you know he of fered to take my place, to sacrifice himself. If Lancelot had not stepped through first, Merlin would have.” “I guess now we know how he survived their attack…his magic and his immortality ,” Gwaine huf fed and shook his head. “Y ou think Lancelot knew about his magic?” “I am certain of it. Y ou weren’ t here when he first came to Camelot. He killed the Grif fin that was threatening the kingdom, now I know Merlin must have had a hand in it. Gaius said the only way it could be killed was with magic and the two of them were thick as thieves from the beginning.” “Makes sense.” “So many things make sense now . Falling branches, wild winds coming out of nowhere, bandits falling of f horses for no reason or getting tripped up, the impenetrable forest, the immortal army just exploding into nothing.” “The damn W yverns,” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin was a Dragonlord.” Arthur nodded, “Merlin, found and lost his father within a day and I had no idea. He hid his grief, buried it, and was still by my side when I faced the dragon. He stopped Kilgharrah from continuing his attack on Camelot. Gods, I was an idiot. I could not figure out why Merlin was so upset over the death of Balinor , a man he had only just met. I still remember the look on his face when he turned around…” “Arthur , you can stand out here and continue to mentally flog yourself for mistakes that can never be fixed, or you can pull yourself together and do what you promised. Honor Merlin’ s memory…free magic so people like him can finally come out of the shadows and stop living in fear . That is the best way you can begin to make amends.” “You’re right, Gwaine,” Arthur nodded, “Thank you.” “No problem.” “You are a good man and a loyal friend. I know I gave you a hard time over the years, but I want you to know that I appreciate all you have done for me, for Merlin, for the kingdom.” Gwaine smiled and shrugged, “I wouldn’ t have it any other way .” “Are we still on for that drunken stupor?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Absolutely , we will have a few…or a dozen for Merlin too.” “That night in the tavern, before Camlann, when Merlin took all my money ,” Arthur chuckled, “Do you think he cheated?” “Oh, most definitely ,” Gwaine laughed, “I know I would have if I had his gift.” “Will we ever know all he did?” “Doubtful, but then it doesn’ t really matter . Merlin was a hero.” “Would you join me for breakfast, Gwaine?” “I’d be honored,” he smiled. They turned and walked across the grass. It was just before sunset when the bonfire was lit outside the walls of the city . People came from the lower town, outlying villages, and even neighboring kingdoms. Arthur stood beside the fire with Guinevere on his arm staring into the flames as they grew higher and higher reaching into the sky . Knights, squires, servants, merchants, and peasants all gathered around, little children brought flowers and precious stones, placing them on top of a low wall that stood close to the flames. “Arthur ,” Gwen choked back a sob and he wrapped his arms around her , “It’s so beautiful.” “If only Merlin could see this,” he said fighting his own tears. Merlin deserved this honor and more. He was stunned when people began to come forward telling stories about Merlin, his good deeds, his courage, his strength, and his loyalty . Some told stories of how he had saved the life of a loved one, and others had funny stories about Merlin’ s antics and his clumsiness. The cook told everyone how Merlin always helped her in the kitchen even though he had his own duties. She admitted giving him extra sweets hoping to put some meat on his bones and everyone laughed tearfully . It was at that moment when Arthur saw Hunith step into the circle of light, her eyes red from crying, her hands trembling. Leon was beside her , his hand on her elbow as they approached. Arthur let go of Gwen, moving toward Merlin’ s mother then gathered her into his arms. “Arthur ,” Hunith gasped and broke down crying again. “I’m so sorry , Hunith, for give me,” Arthur choked as she drew back, cupping his cheek and shaking her head. “There is nothing to for give, Arthur ,” she smiled through her tears, “Merlin…my boy , he loved you more than anything. I do not blame you.” “It should have been me. Merlin should be here.” “No, Arthur…Merlin’ s magic was for you. He was born to serve you.” “He told me as much,” Arthur laughed softly even as tears slid down his face. “Merlin gave his life so you could be the great king he always knew you would be,” Hunith said then glanced over at Gwen, “Camelot will thrive, and Merlin’ s death will not be in vain.” “I am going to lift the ban on magic, Hunith, so no one will have to live in fear the way Merlin did…the way you did, always trying to keep him safe. I am just sorry I did not do it sooner . I let my father ’s hate, fear , and indoctrination blind me to the truth about sorcery . I can see now that it is not magic that is inherently evil, that evil is in the hearts of man. Merlin taught me that.” “All that matters is what you do from now forward, Great King,” Hunith said, “Remember Merlin, remember his sacrifices and how much he loved you. He may be gone, but he can still guide you.” She looked around at all the faces and smiled, wiping her eyes, “Thank you all, thank you for coming to honor my son’ s memory .” Holding on to Hunith’ s hand, Arthur took a deep breath, he looked at her then at Guinevere and his knights. “Many of you know that Merlin and I did not get of f to a great start,” Arthur said with a slight grin, and many people chuckled and nodded, “The fool wasn’ t even in Camelot a day and he chose to challenge the Prince of Camelot, called me out for bullying my servant. I found myself strangely drawn to this peasant with a death wish. There was just something about Merlin that I couldn’ t put my finger on. I am ashamed to admit that I challenged him to a mace fight in the market, not one of my finest moments. Merlin nearly beat me too, though he admitted to me very recently that he used magic to do so. Then unbeknownst to anyone, he used it again to save my life and ended up as my manservant as a reward.” Arthur laughed softly , looking around at his people. “Having Merlin in my life changed me, made me a better man, a better prince, and ultimately the king that I am today . Despite the dif ference in our status, he never once treated me differently . He saw through my façade, let me know all of my flaws and just what he thought of my title and my arrogance,” he grinned, rolling his eyes as he glanced up at the night sky for a moment. The people laughed and Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions in check before he could continue. He let go of Hunith’ s hand taking a few steps forward as she nodded reassuringly , and in that gesture, Arthur found the strength he needed to say what was truly in his heart. “Merlin, lived in fear every day , battled foes we never knew about and some that we did. Camelot would not be standing if it weren’ t for his courage, strength, and tenacity . Merlin was forced to hide who he truly was for far too long. I myself only found out about his magic when he told me after the battle at Camlann. At first, I was angry and hurt that he had not trusted me with his greatest secret, but I realized that he only did it to protect me and the people he loved, the people of this kingdom and beyond. He gave all of himself, risking life and limb and even his humanity for all of us. I hope I can be the king Merlin saw in me, even when I was, as he so loved to point out, an arrogant, pompous dollop head,” he grinned, and everyone laughed. “Don’ t forget Clotpole,” Gwaine shouted. “And cabbage head,” Leon laughed. “Royal prat,” Percival chuckled. “Yes, how could I for get,” Arthur smirked. “I want to thank each and every one of you for coming here tonight. It means a lot to Merlin’ s mother , to me, to Gaius, and all his friends. Merlin will not be for gotten. He will live on in all of us. I know I will never for get him, and I will never stop missing him. He was the other half of my soul, and his loss has left a gaping hole that will never be filled.” “Two sides of the same coin,” Hunith smiled through her tears then brought Arthur ’s hand up to her lips. Arthur nodded and hugged her tightly . The rest of the evening was filled with tears, laughter , food, drink, and endless stories. Hunith went to be with Gaius as the old physician lingered silently on the edge of the firelight clearly struggling with his grief. Gwen excused herself and Leon accompanied her back into the castle, but not before she made sure that Arthur knew he did not have to follow until he was ready . Arthur was stunned to see Princess Mithian walking toward him, tears in her eyes as she shook her head. “Arthur , I am so deeply sorry , I know what Merlin meant to you. He was a good man.” “Mithian, I didn’ t expect that you would travel all this way to be here. Thank you for coming.” “Merlin was special to me as well, Arthur . I did not say anything at the time because obviously did not want to get Merlin into trouble, but I know for certain that it was he who caused the tremor that saved all of us. I caught a glimpse of his eyes as he uttered words of a spell then struck the ground with his hand.” Arthur nodded, “Unexplainable things happened around Merlin all the time and I was too stupid to see it.” “Not stupid, Arthur ,” Mithian said then kissed his cheek, “I will be forever grateful to Merlin and to you for all you did. My father and I, we owe you both our lives.” “How is King Rodor?” “He is doing as well as can be expected for a man of his age. He sends his regards.” “I hope you will stay on a few days,” Arthur said, “I would love to talk to you about lifting the ban on magic and get your input. I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and your people.” “I would be delighted,” Mithian said, “I should like to get to know your beautiful queen better , as the last time we were here…” “Yes, Guinevere will be happy to have a woman to talk to.” “It is good to see you again, Arthur . I just wish it were under better circumstances. I can see how hard it is for you to lose Merlin.” “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “I miss him.” “I know ,” she said then clasped his hands, “If there is anything I can do for you, please ask. “Thank you, Mithian,” Arthur smiled, kissing her cheek then she moved toward the fire. He glanced over and spotted Queen Annis riding in with her knights. He approached them as she slid to the ground and reached for his hand. “Arthur ,” Annis said, “I heard what happened. I am so deeply sorry .” “Thank you for coming, Annis,” Arthur smiled. “Of course,” the queen said, “I want you to know that I am behind you on lifting the ban on magic. It is time for the ways of Uther Pendragon to change. Magic should be accepted again and people able to live in peace, without fear . “I appreciate that, Annis,” Arthur said then motioned toward the food. Y ou have had a long journey please eat, drink, and I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and Princess Mithian.” “Ah yes, I am starving,” the queen winked at him then waved to her knights to take care of the horses and joined in the festivities. Arthur walked amongst the people and then returned to the bonfire. He added more wood as Gwaine came to stand next to him. “I always knew that Merlin was well loved,” Gwaine smiled, “But this is just amazing.” “I wish he could see it,” Arthur said swiping at his eyes. “Maybe he can.” “I want him back.” “So do I, Arthur…so do I.” “Are you all right?” Gwaine shrugged, “I’m alive.” “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “And I am glad of that. I could not have gotten through this without your help, thank you.” “You’re welcome.” “Come on let’ s get a drink,” Arthur said, draping his arm around Gwaine’ s shoulders. The days that followed were filled with council meetings, kingdom negotiations, and citizen concerns with the prospect of magic being allowed in Camelot again, some of whom had magic and were still afraid to use it openly . Arthur could not help but think about Merlin and how hard it must have been for him to hide, especially considering just how powerful he was. T o suppress his magic, to control it, and use it without being caught. “Arthur ,” Gwen said. “Yes?” “Do you want to talk about it…about Merlin?” Arthur shook his head, “I’m sorry .” “You do not have to apologize, Arthur…not to me.” “How did you handle it? When Gaius told you…” he asked, his voice trailing of f. “Merlin was your friend too. Y ou must have felt betrayed on some level, as I did.” Gwen sat down at the table, reaching out to take hold of his hand. “Gaius merely confirmed what I had already suspected. I knew Merlin would never have left your side unless there was something of vital importance. He loved you more than anything and anyone, Arthur . When I saw that old sorcerer on the clif fs and Gaius admitted to knowing who he was, I started to piece together the past. My father ’s miraculous recovery , all the times you were pulled back from the brink of death, the times I was saved from execution, so many things began to make sense once I added the element of magic. Merlin had magic.” “When he told me,” Arthur said, “I reacted badly . I ordered him to leave me.” “And yet he didn’ t,” Gwen smiled. “The way I treated him…I did not deserve his loyalty , his friendship…he should have hated me.” Gwen laughed softly , and Arthur looked at her curiously . “Arthur , you for get I was there in the beginning. I saw how you and Merlin were instantly drawn to each other . Tell me, that day on the training field, when you two first met…if Merlin had been any other peasant, what would you have done?” Arthur nodded and smiled, “I would have hauled him in front of my father . Probably made sure he was banished or at the very least locked up for a month.” “And yet you didn’ t. Not even when he stood his ground in the market the next day and fought you. Arthur , you, and Merlin were always meant to stand together , side by side as equals.” “That’ s just it though, Guinevere, I never treated him as an equal. Even that last day , before I left for Camlann when he told me that he would not be coming with me, I called him a coward. I am ashamed of the way I belittled him, and I refused to listen when he tried to tell me that Agravaine was working against me. When Cedric was possessed by Sigan and countless other times. All the years he fought for me and for Camelot and received nothing, asked for nothing.” “Arthur , Merlin served you, protected you, and guided you out of a strong sense of duty , destiny , and most of all out of love. I may be your wife and your queen, but I always knew there was a deep bond between the two of you that I could never hope to compete with. He loved you and you loved him,” Gwen smiled taking hold of both his hands. Arthur shook his head and let out a breath, “I couldn’ t…” “But you did. I have known that ever since the night you risked everything to find the Mortaeus flower . To save the life of a young man you could not bear to lose. He became a part of you. I saw the look on your face when he fell to the floor after drinking that wine. You did not stop to think about station or status, all you cared about was Merlin. Everyone saw it and they were proud of you for doing what was good and right.” Arthur got up from his chair and walked to the windows looking out over the courtyard as the sun set, watching his people heading for their homes, to join their families around the hearth. He lowered his head, running his fingers through his blonde hair . “Arthur , you can talk to me. I will not judge you.” “I know , Guinevere, I am trying. It is just so hard because I kept these feelings buried for so long. I never allowed myself to…” his voice broke of f. Gwen got up moving to embrace him. She cupped his cheek and smiled. “Just say it,” she whispered, “Say what is in your heart.” Arthur ’s eyes filled with tears, and he nodded, “I loved him, Guinevere…I loved him so much and I don’ t know how to be me without him at my side.” Gwen smiled, “I know , Arthur .” “How can you not feel betrayed?” “I have no right to feel betrayed. Y ou for get that I too know how it feels to love someone so deeply that you cannot be with.” “Lancelot,” Arthur nodded lowering his gaze, “He was a better man than me.” “That is not true, Arthur . You were strong, noble, brave men who loved so fully . You both gave everything for Camelot and its people. I love you and I always will love Lancelot. Just as you will always love me and Merlin.” Arthur hugged her close, “I do love you my queen…my beautiful, understanding, and wise wife.” “Arthur , I have news,” Gwen smiled brightly , “I wanted to wait to tell you when I was sure. Arthur , you are going to be a father…I am with child.” “Guinevere…” Arthur shook his head, his eyes wide, he let out a joyous cry and kissed her deeply . “That is wonderful!” “I wasn’ t certain how you would take the news with everything…I know it is a lot.” “I am going to be a father!” Arthur laughed. Gwen beamed up at him, stroking his cheek, “Y es, you are.” “I love you, Guinevere, so very much.” “I love you, Arthur .” “This is a new beginning,” Arthur said with a slight nod, “Albion will live, and our child will be brought into a world of peace and prosperity . A world that I could not have achieved without Merlin. I need to find a way to honor him.” “Perhaps you could start by learning just how much he did for you…for me, and for Camelot.” “How do I even begin to do that?” Gwen smiled, “Start at the beginning…with Hunith. She is here in Camelot. And I believe that Gaius knows far more than he was ever able to reveal before.” “The Great Dragon…” Arthur said, and Gwen’ s eyes went wide with fear and confusion. “What does the dragon have to do with Merlin?” Arthur laughed, “Ah, yes, I guess I left that part out. The Great Dragon’ s name is Kilgharrah, and he is the one who told Merlin of our destiny . Do you remember when Merlin and I went in search of the Last Dragonlord to seek his help when Kilgharrah was attacking Camelot? Balinor was Merlin’ s father . When he died his gift was passed down to Merlin. Now that I look back, I think it was Merlin who released the dragon. The idiot.” “Arthur , the dragon is dead, isn’ t he?” “No, Merlin let me believe that I had mortally wounded him back then. The dragon was dying of old age though, and whatever Merlin did to destroy Mor gana it released a wave of magic over the land that not only healed me, but Kilgharrah as well, and it brought Gwaine back from the dead.” “Oh, the day before you returned?” Gwen asked her eyes going wide. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “Merlin saved all that is precious to me when he ended Mor gana's reign of terror . He gave up his magic and his immortality for me.” “Immortality?” Gwen gasped. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “I was meant to die, to return when Albion needed me most. Merlin was to live forever waiting for my return so he would be there to guide me and protect me as he did in this life.” “Oh, Arthur ,” Gwen said softly . “Now you can understand this guilt I feel. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gwen sat down hard on the chair and shook her head, “Arthur , if you were meant to die and one day return. Could that mean Merlin will one day return?” “I don’ t know . I need to find someone who can tell me. The dragon may be my only hope of finding out. Which means I need to find a way to bring him to me. I must talk to Gaius…or perhaps the Druids. Or I can speak to Merlin!” Arthur said, his eyes going wide. “How?” Gwen asked shaking her head. “The Horn of Cathbhadh,” he said, “It is in the vaults. I could ride to the Great Stones of Nemeton and use it to summon Merlin.” “Are you certain that is wise, Arthur? Y ou remember what happened with your father .” “I will speak to Gaius, have him show me the proper way to do it,” he looked at Gwen, “I love you. I am so happy about our child.” “Go, Arthur ,” she nodded and laughed, “Go speak with Gaius now .” “Are you sure,” he asked. “I am sure. Y ou need to learn all you can about Merlin’ s sacrifice. I want our child to know him and all he did for us.” “I love you,” Arthur said then kissed her tenderly before leaving their chambers. “My Lord,” Gaius said as he opened the door to find Arthur standing on the other side his hands clasped behind him. “What brings you to my chambers?” “I came to see how you are doing and to ask a favor ,” Arthur said as he stepped inside the room which seemed darker than normal. Perhaps it was the lack of light or the lack of a certain someone’ s presence within its walls. “Gaius, I know what Merlin meant to you and I know that you protected him all these years.” “I did, Sire,” Gaius said as he sat down at the table, returning to his dinner . He motioned to the other bench and Arthur sat down. “W ould you like some food?” “No, thank you.” “So, what can I do for you, Arthur?” “Gaius, you told me that one day I would learn, that I would understand just how much they had done for me. It was Merlin you spoke of back then. I know that now , and I need to know everything, Gaius. I need to know all that Merlin did for me and for Camelot. The only way that can happen is if I speak to Merlin.” Gaius barely flinched at the last part, nodding wearily . “And just how do you plan to do that?” “The Horn of Cathbhadh,” Arthur said. “That is not possible, Arthur .” “It worked with my father .” “Only the spirits of your ancestors may be summoned by the horn. It will not work for Merlin.” Arthur ’s face fell and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Then how? I must speak with Merlin.” Gaius nodded, “The Horn will not help you, Sire.” “Gaius, please, I beg of you. I cannot move on without knowing the truth.” “Very well,” Gaius nodded sadly , “I will tell you all I know . There is no reason not to, now that I no longer have to protect Merlin.” Arthur lowered his gaze, “Gaius, I am so sorry . If I could trade places with him, I would. If I could bring him back.” “Merlin would not want you to, Arthur . I think he always knew he would have to lay down his life for you in the end.” “I feel so empty , Gaius,” Arthur said, “I don’ t know how to be me without Merlin. I owe him everything. I miss him, Gods…” Gaius let out a breath and gave Arthur a slight smile. “I know you do.” “I need to know what the prophecy says now that I have lived, and Merlin died. He was meant to live…I was meant to die. How can I call the dragon to me?” “You know about Kilgharrah,” Gaius said raising an eyebrow . “Yes, he came to A valon after it all happened. He told me of the prophecy and Merlin’ s father . I figured out that it was Merlin who set Kilgharrah free all those years ago.” “He did, but only because the dragon had helped him to save you many times. Kilgharrah was exceptionally good at telling Merlin just enough and leaving out the parts he should have been told. The old dragon had his own aims. I only allowed Merlin to communicate with him because I knew they were both creatures of magic. They needed each other .” “My father kept him prisoner for two decades.” “Yes, Sire,” Gaius said, “He believed that keeping Kilgharrah prisoner would set an example for any kingdoms who would ever think they could attack Camelot.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “That worked out well.” “Yes, but it did accomplish one thing, it struck fear in all those with magic. If your father could keep a magical beast prisoner , what could he do to them?” “My father was wrong,” Arthur said, “He was wrong about everything. Magic is not evil. Perhaps if I had known that then, I would have had time to save Mor gana.” “Mor gana’ s magic was far dif ferent from Merlin’ s. Her magic emer ged at first through her dreams…nightmares. She saw things in them that eventually came to be. Things that were avoided because Merlin was able to stop them.” “Sophia?” Arthur said letting out a breath, “I knew there was more to that story .” “Mor gana saw her drown you in her dreams. Merlin tried to get through to you to keep you from going with Sophia and Aulfric. They were Sidhe in human form. Condemned to live a mortal life for killing another Sidhe. Their only way back to A valon was to sacrifice you. Merlin was nearly killed when Aulfric slammed him into the wall in your chambers. When I found him, he was in pain and disoriented. Y et he still ran all the way to A valon to stop them and save you.” Arthur shook his head, “How many times did he nearly die for me?” “Too many to count I’m afraid,” Gaius frowned. “I remember , Mor gana dreamed of the Questing Beast…she was terrified.” “Yes, she saw you die.” “How did I survive? The bite was supposed to be fatal. And for that matter the beast itself, I know I did not kill it.” “Merlin did. W ith the same spell that he used on Lancelot’ s lance so he could kill the Griffin. Merlin enchanted your sword and drove it into the heart of the beast killing it. When they brought you back to Camelot, there was little hope. Merlin went to the dragon who told him he would need to go to the Isle of the Blessed. That he would need the magic of the old religion to save you. Nimueh was there. She gave him water from the Cup of Life, and in exchange, he bar gained his own life. Unfortunately , she knew who Merlin really was. She chose to take his mother instead. Hunith showed up here in the middle of a storm deathly ill and covered in sores. Merlin intended to return to the Isle of the Blessed to force Nimueh to take him instead. I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how he is—was,” Gaius said. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “He never would do what he was told.” “He went to your chambers, said he needed to tell you goodbye. It was then that I decided it would be me…that I would take his place. I went to the Isle of the Blessed to of fer myself for Merlin. I was unconscious by the time Merlin arrived. He told me afterward, Nimueh tried to get him to join her , to rule by her side…he refused of course. She attacked him with balls of fire. He ended up with a burn scar on his chest from the one that hit him. He pulled lightning from the storm raging overhead and killed her . In taking her life, the balance was restored and Hunith lived…I lived.” “And I lived…” Arthur let out a ragged breath. “It was Merlin’ s duty , his destiny to protect you…his purpose…the purpose for his magic. He was born with it, Arthur . For Merlin, magic was like breathing…a part of him.” “So, when he said that he was born to serve me…” “Yes,” Gaius nodded. “Gods, Gaius, what did I ever do to deserve him? He was a far better man than me.” “Merlin would be the first to disagree with that, Arthur . Your father was a friend, but even I can admit that he was a hard man, cruel and unyielding at times. He made me take an oath to never tell you the truth about Nimueh and your birth. I am sorry , truly . I was a foolish old man, I let fear direct my actions. If I had not then Merlin and Mor gana would still be with us. Y ou have lost so much, Arthur…” Gaius frowned and shook his head. “Guinevere told me that she is with child,” Arthur smiled. Gaius smiled, “I am happy for you both. Y ou will be a wonderful father , Arthur .” “If Merlin had not done what he did, I would not be here. My child would have grown up without a father just as I grew up without my mother .” “Then Merlin fulfilled his destiny ,” Gaius said. “I want him back. I need him back,” Arthur said. “That is not possible, no matter how much I wish it were. I loved Merlin as a son.” “I know you did.” Gaius looked at Arthur intently . “Arthur , there is one place where you may be able to communicate with Merlin. I cannot guarantee that it will work.” “Please, Gaius. I will do whatever it takes.” “The reason Merlin was not able to go with you to Camlann…Mor gana took his magic using a creature of the Old Religion, called the Gean Canach. His only hope of regaining it was to travel to the place where magic was born. It is called the Crystal Cave and lies in the V alley of the Fallen Kings. Mor gana showed up and brought down the cave entrance trapping Merlin inside. He was injured and without his magic. Desperate to get to you before the battle. He told me that his father appeared to him in the cave and helped him to regain his magic. He used the crystals to send you the message about the hidden path in the mountains.” “Yes, he did.” “Perhaps if you go to the Crystal Cave there may be a way to communicate with Merlin. I will need to do some research. If you can give me a day or so.” “Yes, of course, Gaius,” Arthur said, “But will I need the help of magic?” “I will be able to tell you more once I look into it.” “Very well, it is getting late. I would like to speak with you more tomorrow , Gaius.” “You know where to find me, My Lord,” Gaius nodded, “Good night, Arthur .” “Good night, Gaius,” Arthur said then left the chambers. He walked down the silent corridor , but instead of returning to their chambers, he walked outside and down the steps. He needed a drink. Heading for the tavern he walked in to find Gwaine and Percival at a table staring at their tankards of mead not saying anything. The fire was burning in the hearth, and the barkeep looked up, surprised to see the king. “My Lord,” he bowed, “What can I get you, Sire?” “Whatever they are having, please,” Arthur said then walked over to the table and pulled up a chair . Gwaine and Percival took a moment to even realize he was there, nearly jumping out of their skin when they did. “Arthur!” Percival said in surprise. Gwaine turned to look at him, his eyes glazed over . “Every time I see you, I look for him,” he huf fed a pained laugh, his words slurred, “But then I remember , and it feels like a knife through the gut.” Arthur nodded, taking a drink of his mead as soon as Evoric placed it in front of him. “I keep expecting him to show up with some ridiculous story about falling asleep in the woods. Gods, I miss that smile and his annoying prattle. I would give anything to hear him call me a Clotpole or a dollop head again.” “Merlin never held back on his insults, did he,” Gwaine chuckled. “Arthur ,” Percival said, “Do you think it was his magic that saved him after the Doracha?” “Knowing what I know now I am certain of it,” Arthur said as Evoric brought him a second tankard of mead before he’d even finished the first. He shrugged, swallowed down the first, then started on the second. It wasn’ t proper for the king to get drunk in a tavern, but he couldn’ t find a reason to care right now . “Lancelot must have known that Merlin had magic,” Percival nodded. “Yeah, Gaius confirmed my suspicions. Merlin enchanted the lance he used to kill the Grif fin back when he first came to Camelot. The first time he was made a knight and my father stripped him of his title because his seal of nobility was for ged…which I believe a certain Warlock was responsible for as well.” “Warlock? Sorcerer? Dragonlord?” Gwaine said, “Merlin was just full of surprises.” “What is the dif ference between a W arlock and a Sorcerer?” Percival asked. “From what Gaius told me, Merlin was born with his magic,” Arthur said, “It was as much a part of him as breathing, or the blood pumping through his veins. Sorcerers may have a gift, but they study magic, it does not come naturally to them. Merlin was magic, but he learned how to use it properly from Gaius. So, I suppose, in a way , he was both.” “Was it really Mordred who mortally wounded you?” Gwaine asked Arthur . “Yes,” Arthur nodded taking a drink of his mead, “I hesitated…that is all it took. He said I gave him no other choice. When I ran him through, he smiled…he smiled like he was relieved. It made no sense. I cared about him…trained him and he turned against me over a girl he hadn’ t seen since he was a child.” “You gave her a chance, Arthur…she refused your of fer,” Gwaine shook his head. “But Mordred didn’ t know that did he,” Arthur frowned. “This prophecy…” Percival said, “Merlin knew about it?” “Explains why he and Mordred were always at odds. I thought maybe Merlin was just jealous of the attention you were paying to Mordred,” Gwaine frowned. Arthur nodded, “I see that now . It must have been so hard for him knowing that Mordred had magic like him and yet he was merely a servant and I made Mordred a knight.” “If you had known Mordred had magic you wouldn’ t have done so,” Percival said. “No, I most likely would not have. Merlin is the one who deserved to be a knight,” Arthur shook his head, “Gods, I am ashamed of the way I treated him. I still have no idea how many times he saved my life…how many times he saved Camelot.” The door opened then, and they looked around as Leon walked in, and waved to Evoric who nodded and poured another tankard of mead. “Thought I might find you all here,” Leon said as he pulled up a chair , sat down, then looked at Arthur . “Are you all right, Sire?” Arthur shook his head, “Why wouldn’ t I be? I have only lost the other half of my soul.” “I’m sorry ,” Leon frowned. “No, it is I who should be sorry ,” Arthur said patting Leon’ s shoulder , “I have been neglecting my kingly duties placing too much on your shoulders.” “The queen sent me to find you, she is worried.” “I should probably go back.” “No, perhaps this is what you need…to talk about Merlin,” Leon said, “I am certain she understands.” “What kind of man am I?” Arthur asked, his words beginning to slur as he drank a third tankard of mead, “My queen…my wife, she is with child and I am here, with you lot, grieving over my servant…best friend…protector…sorcerer…warlock…Dragonlord.” “You’re going to be a father?” Leon smiled. “Yep, I am, and if not for Merlin I would have died and never known about my child.” “Cheers,” Gwaine and Percival smiled then downed their mead. “I’m drunk,” Arthur said. “Me too?” Gwaine smirked. Arthur shook his head then let it fall back and chuckled, “Merlin used his magic in our fight in the market, he admitted it to me. I had no idea. He would have won if Gaius had not distracted him. I hit him with a broomstick.” “Low blow ,” Percival smirked. “Heard about that fight, didn’ t see it for myself,” Leon smiled. “Then he saved my life, and as a reward, my father made him my manservant.” “Sounds more like a punishment,” Gwaine grinned. “You’re not wrong,” Arthur shrugged his eyes growing wider , “Sacked him after the snakes in the shield thing with V aliant. I was an idiot.” “You obviously hired him back,” Percival said. “Yes, I couldn’ t stand the thought of anyone else replacing him…and now…” “There’ s always Geor ge,” Leon smirked. Arthur glared at him, “I would rather wash my own socks than have to deal with Geor ge.” “He is rather stif f and proper ,” Gwaine laughed. “That’ s just it, he is too ef ficient for our king,” Leon chuckled. “And he’ s not Merlin,” Arthur said finishing his mead, “I want Merlin back.” “We all do,” Leon said, “He was a friend to all of us…a brother really .” Arthur leaned forward placing his head in his hands, elbows on the table. The others looked at each other , clearly concerned for their friend and king. He huf fed a laugh then dropped his hands, his eyes shining with tears. “I am really , really drunk,” he said. “Me too, but not enough yet,” Gwaine mumbled then tipped his empty tankard upside down. “We should get you two back to the palace,” Leon said. “No,” Arthur said then turned to the barkeep, “Evoric, do you have a room available?” “Yes, of course, Y our Highness,” he nodded, “I shall give you my best room.” “One for Gwaine too…Percival?” “No, I am not that drunk, but I’ll help get Gwaine upstairs.” “My Lord, the room I have for you has a second bed for Sir Gwaine or I can give him a separate room,” Evoric said. “No need, Gwaine can share the room with me,” Arthur said as he stood up, swaying on his feet to the point where Leon had to prop him up. “Thank you, Leon. W ill you please send word to Guinevere…tell her I am sorry .” “I am certain she will understand, Arthur ,” Leon said then helped his king up the stairs with Percival following behind, Gwaine leaning heavily on him. Reaching the top of the stairs, they followed Evoric to the end of the long hallway . He unlocked the door opening it wide, stepping inside to light the candles and start a fire in the hearth. “Here we are,” Evoric smiled. Leon sat Arthur down on the lar ger bed near the fire. Percival dropped Gwaine on the smaller bed by the wall then pulled his boots of f. “You’re a good friend…a very big, good friend,” Gwaine smirked and Percival rolled his eyes placing his boots near the hearth. “Leon,” Arthur said then let out a loud burp that made Gwaine laugh. Leon shook his head, taking of f Arthur ’s boots. “Lie down, Arthur , you need to rest.” “Can’ t sleep,” Arthur said as he laid back on the pillow , “I close my eyes, I see Merlin dying…over and over and over again. I will never get that vision out of my head as long as I live. He should be here…not me. It should be me lying in that godforsaken lake.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom. Camelot would be nothing without you, Arthur ,” Leon said with conviction. “Merlin said those exact words to me on the way to A valon,” Arthur said pinching the bridge of his nose before running his fingers through his hair which had gotten too long, but he had no desire to let anyone cut it…that was Merlin’ s job…” “Arthur ,” Leon said, “See you in the morning, rest.” He headed toward the door and Percival followed him out, closing the door behind them, leaving Arthur and Gwaine in silence. “I should have been there,” Gwaine choked out, his voice rough. “Gwaine…” “It was my fault. If I had not convinced Percival that we should go after Mor gana…she would not have gone to A valon. Merlin would be alive, and he would have had time to save you.” “No, Gwaine…don’ t put that on yourself.” “I was so angry about Eira…I allowed her into my bed…I trusted her .” Arthur huf fed a bitter laugh, “I know all about trusting people I should not have. Y ou are not to blame, Gwaine. I do not blame you.” Gwaine let out a growl, kicking the end of the bed. “All of this goes back to your father . His hatred of magic did this…he took Merlin from us.” Arthur fell silent and Gwaine pushed himself up to a seated position, back against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest, then folded his hands across the back of his head. Arthur rolled onto his side facing his knight, “I had the chance to kill my father .” “What?” Gwaine asked, looking at him. “Merlin lied to me…he lied to stop me from killing my father .” “What happened?” “Mor gause conjured the spirit of my mother , Ygraine, who told me the truth about my birth…what my father did. The reason he started the Great Pur ge in the first place. My mother could not conceive so he turned to magic for an heir . I do not know if he knew what the price would be, but in the end, my mother died so I could live…balance…a life for a life. I was angry…Gods, so angry . Upon returning to Camelot, I was out for his blood, I challenged him…demanded that he fight me. I had the point of my sword at his chest when Merlin burst in and told me that Mor gause lied, that it was not my mother I saw . That it was all a lie to tear apart the kingdom. Merlin could have let me kill my father , he would have been free, but instead, he lied, and I dropped my sword.” “Sounds like Merlin,” Gwaine said, “So unselfish. Always putting others ahead of his own needs.” “I still feel such shame for the way I reacted when he told me about his magic.” “It’s understandable, Arthur .” Arthur nodded, “I thought I knew him…and the whole time he was hiding this huge part of himself. I should have known. W e were…” “You loved each other .” “Yeah,” Arthur said with a soft laugh then sat upright and looked at Gwaine, “He was your best friend too, you really didn’ t feel hurt?” “No, not at all,” Gwaine shook his head, “Merlin kept his secret to protect himself. He lived in fear every day of his life. That is something you and I could never possibly understand. Even before he came to Camelot, he grew up in Essetir…Cenred was well known for imprisoning and enslaving those with magic. He had no chance…stay or leave, he would always be in danger . Coming to Camelot was his best chance at survival. Becoming your servant was his destiny .” Arthur nodded, tears pooling in his eyes, “Y ou’re a wise man, Sir Gwaine.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh, “I’m really not.” “True…but thank you…thank you for being here for me.” “And we owe Merlin for that as well don’ t we.” “What did Mor gana do to you?” “Ah, that nasty snake thing…the same one she used on Elyan to find out you all were going to Ealdor ,” Gwaine shivered. “Gods, I hate snakes.” “I hate spiders…giant hairy spiders,” Arthur muttered. “Definitely hate spiders and snakes. Don’ t mind dragons so much now .” Arthur laughed, “Me neither .” “Still hate W yverns though.” “Gaius thinks I might be able to communicate with Merlin from the Crystal Cave.” “Really?” Gwaine asked his eyes going wide. “I need to try ,” Arthur said, “I need to see him…talk to him.” “Then I am going with you.” “Gwaine,” he shook his head, “I need to go alone.” “You are the king, Arthur , you cannot venture into the V alley of the Fallen Kings alone. Morgana may be dead, but there are still enemies out there who would love your head on a pike.” Arthur looked at Gwaine then nodded, “All right. But only you and me. No one else.” “When do we leave?” “Gaius said he needed to do some research. He has to find a way that I can communicate without magic of my own. There is a chance it will not work at all.” “You were born of magic, do think there is a chance you have some sort of magic?” Arthur laughed, “No, I don’ t think so.” “What is it you really want, Arthur?” “I need to know the part of Merlin he kept hidden. I need to understand.” “So, you can find a way to for give him?” Gwaine asked. “No, I have already for given him.” “Then what are you after?” “Ideally , I want to bring him home,” Arthur lowered his gaze to the floor for a moment then looked at Gwaine. “But if that is not possible, I at least want my child to grow up knowing him. T o know the man who brought peace to Camelot. Is that so insane?” Gwaine shook his head, “No, Arthur , not at all.” “We should sleep, we are going to feel like death in the morning.” “I will go with you to see Gaius. He will give us his remedy then we can work on a plan.” Arthur laid back down on his side staring into the flames and laughed, “The fire.” “What?” “The fire in Jarl’ s fortress, when we faked that fight…the fire that mysteriously started and covered our escape.” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin…” “Remember what he said, that if it wasn’ t for that fire, we would have all been pushing up daisies.” “Of course. Also explains your recovery from the poisoned arrow in your leg. Y ou were burning up with fever…” “I was dying. And Merlin saved me…again.” Gwaine looked at Arthur intently , “Whatever it takes, we will do right by him. W e will make sure that Merlin is remembered…always. And maybe one day he will return.” “I hope so,” Arthur said then finally drifted of f to sleep. Gwaine passed out soon after . To See Him Again “Gwaine, are you alive?” Arthur asked shaking his knight gently . “What? Oh, yes…alive…still alive,” he jolted awake nearly rolling of f the bed. “That makes one of us,” Arthur winced sitting down on the bed to put on his boots, “My head…” Gwaine stumbled to the hearth stepping into his own boots with surprising agility considering how much he’d had to drink. “Let’ s get to Gaius, he will fix us right up,” he chuckled. “Sounds like you have gone to him many times for the remedy ,” Arthur smirked. “Regular customer .” They blew out the candles and then made their way downstairs where Evoric had breakfast prepared for them. They sat down and ate. Arthur placed a handful of gold coins on the table. “Please, Y our Highness, I cannot accept payment,” Evoric said. “I insist,” Arthur said, “For the mead, the room, and this delicious breakfast.” “Very well, My Lord. Y ou are welcome anytime,” Evoric said then lowered his head, “W e all miss Merlin. He helped me out often with remedies and fixing things. He was a good man.” “Yes, he was,” Arthur nodded. They finished eating and then headed for the palace. After a slight detour to let Gwen know , he was all right and to apologize for abandoning her , they reached the door of the physician’ s chambers. Gwaine knocked and then opened the door . Gaius waved a hand toward the table. “Leon told me to expect you two, remedy is there on the table.” “Thank you, Gaius,” Arthur said drinking his down quickly trying not to smell it first. “Y ep, still as nasty tasting as ever .” “Nectar of the Gods,” Gwaine chuckled, downing his with a flourish. “Gaius, have you found anything?” Arthur asked as he approached the older man. “I was up most of the night and I was able to confirm that the Horn of Cathbhadh will not work for someone who is not a direct blood ancestor .” Arthur said down on the bench, “And the Crystal Cave?” “There is a way to use the crystals to communicate with spirits, but you will need help.” “Magical help?” Arthur asked. “I’m afraid so,” Gaius said, “Y ou will need to retrieve the Crystal of Neahtid from the vaults of Camelot and return it to the Crystal Cave from which it came.” “That doesn’ t sound too dif ficult,” Gwaine said as he sat down on a bench across from Arthur . “Yes, well, that is the easy part, I am afraid. Before you return it, you must enhance its power .” “And just how do I do that?” Arthur asked. “It must be infused with magic from a high priestess.” Arthur ’s face fell, “That is obviously out of the question.” “The only other option is the Great Dragon,” Gaius said. “Good, I need to speak with Kilgharrah anyway . Is there a way that I can call him to me?” “There is a spell, but I am not certain I have enough power . I am willing to try , Arthur .” Arthur knew from the look in Gaius’ eyes that this spell would take a lot out of him to perform. “Gaius, would it harm you? I will not ask you to do it if it will.” “It will not be easy , but I will do it for Merlin…for you.” “Is there another way? I will not do anything that will put you at risk.” Gaius thought for a moment then his eyes widened, “Of course, your sword, Arthur . It was forged by Kilgharrah. It holds his power . You can use it to call him.” “Great, tell me what I need to do.” “Arthur , please don’ t go alone,” Gwen said as Arthur packed his bags. “Guinevere, Gwaine is going with me, I won’ t be alone,” he said stopping what he was doing to embrace her . “There is no need to worry . With Mor gana dead and the Saxons scattered there is little threat right now . I must do this. Please understand. If I have a chance to see Merlin, to speak with him, I need to try . There is so much I need him to know and things that I must know to protect Camelot. T o keep the peace for our child.” Gwen shook her head, “I just do not want to lose you, Arthur . I cannot raise our child alone.” “I love you, Guinevere, I will return. I promise you.” “All right,” she finally relented, “Just promise me that if you speak to Merlin, tell him how much he means to me and how grateful I am for everything he did.” “I will tell him,” Arthur smiled then kissed her before resuming packing. There was a knock on the door . Gwen went to answer it. Gwaine stepped inside the room and she gave him a look... “Y ou will take care of him,” she said. “Upon my life, I will protect Arthur , My Lady ,” Gwaine said then he approached Arthur with an object in a leather pouch. “Is this what we need?” he asked as he opened it and pulled out the Crystal of Neahtid. Arthur had not laid eyes on it since they brought it back to Camelot all those years ago. “That’ s it,” Arthur sheathed his sword, kissed Gwen then nodded, “Let’ s go.” They made their way out of the castle to find Leon and Percival waiting in the courtyard with their horses. “Thank you,” Arthur smiled, climbing onto his horse while Gwaine secured the crystal in his saddlebag then mounted his own horse. “Arthur , are you sure this is wise?” Leon asked. “It is something I have to do, Leon. Please understand.” “I do, just it isn’ t safe out there.” “I will take care of him, I promise,” Gwaine said. “Courage and Strength,” Percival said with a nod then reached up to grasp Arthur ’s forearm, “Godspeed, both of you.” Arthur nodded then turned his horse, heading for the drawbridge with Gwaine close behind. They crossed over it and then headed toward the clearing Gaius told them about. The place where Merlin used to sneak of f to call Kilgharrah for help. It was already mid-morning and they still had far to go to reach the Crystal Cave. As soon as they reached the clearing, Arthur dismounted, drew his sword, and stepped into the clearing. He held the sword out in front of him, resting flat across both hands then closed his eyes focusing all his light and ener gy into the blade then, tilting his head back, he shouted. “Kilgharrah, Great Dragon, I wish to speak with you. In the name of Merlin, The Last Dragonlord, please come to me. Hear your king, Kilgharrah…” “Did it work?” Gwaine asked keeping his voice low . “I don’ t know ,” Arthur shook his head. “Maybe you should say it again.” “What if he is too far away?” Arthur asked. Gwaine held up a hand, “Listen…” They both heard the familiar sound of massive wings and looked up as Kilgharrah came over the hill. He landed in the clearing just a few feet from the king. “King Arthur…Sir Gwaine, you called for me,” the dragon said. “I did,” Arthur said then sheathed his sword, “I have a favor to ask of you.” “A favor?” Kilgharrah asked a curious glint in his golden eyes. “Yes, I must speak with Merlin. Gaius said there is a chance that I can reach him in the Crystal Cave, but I need you to enhance the magic of the Crystal of Neahtid so that I may do so.” “I see,” the dragon said, “Might I ask why you wish to speak with Merlin?” Arthur nodded, “There are things I need answers to, and things I need him to know . Will you help me? Please.” “Very well,” Kilgharrah said, “Bring me the crystal, but you should know , Arthur , Merlin may not want to be summoned.” “Why?” Arthur asked, shaking his head, “Why would he not want to come to me?” “Arthur , Merlin gave his life for you. He would want you to live, to move on.” “I can’ t do that,” Arthur shook his head, his voice breaking, “Not until I say what I need to say to him. I need to see him one last time. He died not knowing how I feel about him.” Kilgharrah raised his head and looked at Gwaine then back to Arthur . He let out a breath, a puff of smoke and flame. “Great King, there are things Merlin did that he may not want you to know .” “If you’re referring to the fact that it was Merlin who set you free? I figured that out for myself. So, you see I am not a complete idiot.” Kilgharrah let out a chuckle, “Y ou definitely are not.” “Will you help me then?” “I will help you, King Arthur ,” Kilgharrah said. He watched as Gwaine stepped forward with the Crystal of Neahtid in his hand. “Place it on the ground then step back.” Gwaine did as he said before moving to stand next to Arthur . The dragon lowered his head and opened his mouth breathing a heatless golden flame over the crystal. It began to glow with a light so bright that Arthur and Gwaine had to look away . “It is done.” “Thank you,” Arthur said. “In the center of the Crystal Cave, you will find a pool of water . Place the crystal in the water and focus on Merlin. I trust Gaius told you what to say .” “He did,” Gwaine nodded. “If Merlin chooses not to appear to you, Arthur , you will not try again. Promise me.” Arthur lowered his gaze to the crystal for a moment then looked up at Kilgharrah again. “If Merlin chooses not to come to me, I will let him be. I promise.” “The magic I have infused into the crystal will destroy it if you attempt the summoning a second time. It will shatter , obliterating everything within its reach. It will sever any connection between the Crystal Cave and A valon, the repercussions of which would be far worse than the tear in the veil that released the Doracha.” Arthur and Gwaine looked at each other as that memory took hold. Neither of them wanted to relive that nightmare. They had nearly lost Merlin, then they did lose Lancelot. “I swear to you, I will perform the summoning only once,” Arthur said. “Good, then I bid you farewell, King Arthur…Sir Gwaine,” Kilgharrah said then moved away preparing to fly . “Wait, please, Kilgharrah,” Arthur said. The dragon turned back to look at him. “Please, tell me, do you know what happens now that Merlin changed our destiny by dying in my place? I was meant to return one day . Does that mean Merlin will too?” Kilgharrah shook his head, “I do not know , Arthur . The prophecies were written centuries before you and Merlin were even born. They all ended with your death and Merlin being immortal. What he did forever altered not only your fate but the fates of all those around you. What will happen remains to be seen. No one can say if he will return.” “Perhaps I can call on you again,” Arthur said, “I am certain you miss him too.” “I would like that, Arthur ,” the dragon said then launched into the air and flew away , vanishing over the hills. Gwaine picked up the crystal placing it back inside the leather pouch. They made their way back to the horses in silence until they were in the saddle, heading toward the V alley of the Fallen Kings. “Arthur , did Merlin ever tell you what happened to him after the two of you were separated by the rock fall that day? When the bandits took him. When we found him, he was not himself.” “He never spoke of it again.” “I could not help but wonder if Mor gana had him and he escaped. Especially knowing now that he had magic.” “He would not have risked using magic to escape from her . She would have realized he was Emrys. I am certain she did not know who he was until Mordred told her after he left Camelot. That is why she sent that creature to steal his magic.” “Makes sense,” Gwaine nodded, “I cannot begin to imagine how terrified he must have been to lose something that was such a part of him…something he had always been able to rely on from the day he was born. It is no wonder he panicked when those bandits attacked us in the Valley of the Fallen Kings when I was taking him to the Crystal Cave.” “I always wondered why , even when he was so clearly scared, he never lost faith that we would prevail no matter what we faced. I guess now I know why…he had his magic.” “No, Arthur ,” Gwaine smiled, “He had faith in you. Magic needed you as much as you needed Magic. Merlin’ s mother said it best…you were two sides of the same coin.” Arthur glanced over at Gwaine and nodded, “Thank you for coming on this journey with me.” “Nowhere else I would rather be.” “Do you think the dragon is right? That Merlin may not want to come to me?” Gwaine thought for a moment then shook his head, “All I know is Merlin loved you. I think he will want to see you again as much as you want to see him.” “There is so much I need to say , and I have no idea how long I will have to say it. When I summoned my father , I had little time before he told me I must go or risk being trapped in the world of the dead. Then I made the mistake of looking back as the veil closed releasing his spirit into this world. It was his ghost that hurt Percival and Guinevere, damaged the Round Table. Merlin and I had to hunt him down to send him back. He nearly killed Merlin, pinned him to a door in the armory with two spears. I blew the horn and right before he vanished, he tried to say something about Merlin. I think he was going to tell me about his magic. He must have used magic to fight my father after he knocked me out.” “Ah yes, poetry ,” Gwaine chuckled. “What?” “Oh, Leon told us how he found you and Merlin alone, sneaking around the castle in the dark. Arthur scof fed, “What did you all think we were doing?” “Poetry of course,” Gwaine grinned, wagging his eyebrows. “I never…could never let myself have…” Arthur said his voice trailing of f. “You are an honorable man, Arthur . You would never betray Gwen or hurt Merlin.” “Yes, but it did not stop me from wondering what it would be like,” Arthur blushed. He fell silent as they rode through a narrow ravine following the brook. Gwaine knew he needed to keep him talking. “Tell me more about when you and Merlin first met.” “You’re just trying to keep me talking,” Arthur said narrowing his eyes. “Well, either you talk, or I will, and we both know how much you enjoy my mindless chatter ,” Gwaine laughed. “Come on, tell me. I really want to know .” “Fine,” the king smirked. “I was not of ficially the Crown Prince yet, and needless to say I was a bit of a bully…an ass, as Merlin called me that day .” “Sounds about right,” Gwaine chuckled. “You want to hear this or not?” “Sorry , Sire, do go on.” “My servant prior to Merlin, his name was Morris…dull, spineless, and what Merlin would call a bootlicker . I was on the training grounds with my equally bootlicking friends at the time. I was showing of f and I may have been throwing knives at the tar get my servant was carrying as he tried to place it for me. He lost his hold on it and the tar get rolled across the ground and fell at Merlin’ s feet, he placed his boot on it and says to me that’ s enough that I’d had my fun.” You’ve had your fun, my friend… Those words brought both a smile and tears. Arthur swiped them away and told Gwaine the rest of their first interactions leaving his knight laughing so hard that he could barely breathe. “You asked him if he knew how to walk on his knees?” Gwaine asked, fighting of f another wave of laughter . “I did,” Arthur said unable to hold back a smirk. “You really were an ass,” Gwaine chuckled. “Yes, and Merlin was quite adept at pointing out my flaws and telling me when I was being an idiot. He was the only person to ever do so and get away with it. T ruthfully , it is the reason I kept him around. He never failed to challenge me when I was doing the wrong thing or encouraged me when I was doubting myself. He created a damn sword for me of all things. Gods, Gwaine I did not deserve him.” “The way I see it, you needed him in your life. Y ou were surrounded by people who only told you what you wanted to hear and would never stand up to you when you were being a prat.” “Yes, and then you came along,” Arthur laughed, “Y ou and your hatred of nobles. Why is that anyway? Y ou never told me.” “No one knows, save for Merlin.” “You may as well tell me now .” “If I tell you I will have to kill you,” Gwaine said, and Arthur laughed. “My father was a knight in Caerleon’ s army . A noble. Fought and died for the king and yet when my mother went to him for help, he turned her away . As soon as I was old enough, I left home and made a living doing whatever I could. I would go back home and leave money with her every chance I got. Until the day I went back to find that she had died, and my heartless sister was gone…married some noble in another kingdom.” “I am so sorry , Gwaine.” Gwaine shook his head and smiled sadly , “That day I met you and Merlin in the tavern…I had just come from there. I had planned to drink myself into a stupor . Instead, I met this courageous and stupid man who started a fight he could not win and his best friend who dragged my wounded arse back to Camelot and gave me a reason to keep fighting.” Arthur nodded, “And ended up saving my life again. I could have made you a knight if you had told me the truth. My father would have overturned his decision easily if he had known.” “I could not have served under a king like Uther ,” Gwaine said, “I am proud to serve you, Arthur . You stood up for me against your father and I have never for gotten that.” “When Merlin went to you for help after I left for the Perilous Lands, you agreed to help because of him, not me. I knew that. Y ou were a good friend to him. I think you serve me because of him more than out of duty to me.” “Merlin was the first and only true friend I’d ever had,” Gwaine said, “I think we bonded over the fact that neither of us really knew our fathers and grew up without them in our lives. What was Merlin’ s father like?” Arthur let out a breath, “I didn’ t get a chance to really know him before he was killed by one of Cenred’ s men. But what I saw was a man who had survived against all odds and was strong, brave, and far more powerful than I ever could have imagined…like father like son…” “Yes,” Gwaine nodded, “What would you have done…if Merlin had told you about his magic sooner?” “I have asked myself that question a hundred times, Gwaine, and I am ashamed to say I still do not know the answer . All I know for certain is that I could never have let him die. Even in the beginning, I would have protected him, or at least I would like to believe I would have. Gods, my father has been so wrong about so much. I wish I could repair all the damage his hatred has done.” “The Great Pur ge began when you were born and your mother died,” Gwaine said. “Yes,” Arthur said. “And Merlin…he was born of magic…was magic…and he was a few years younger than you.” “What are you getting at?” “When Merlin destroyed Mor gana, what his magic did, healing us and Kilgharrah. God knows what else it touched…all that power , it had to come from somewhere. The magic released in the Great Pur ge, from the slaughtering of sorcerers…what if Merlin was born of that magic?” “If that is true,” Arthur ’s eyes widened, “Then why would he be destined to protect me, the son of the king who was responsible for the Great Pur ge…essentially the reason for it?” “You were born of magic, Merlin was born with magic,” Gwaine said, “T wo sides of the same coin…together you would bring balance. Build a world of peace and end the war on magic.” Arthur stared at his knight for a moment. “When did you become such a deep thinker ,” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow . Gwaine chuckled and shook his head, “I’m just putting the pieces together .” Arthur frowned, “I did not deserve him. I was blind to his deeds and his suf fering…just as I was to Mor gana’ s. I could have saved her…I should have saved him.” “Mor gana was beyond saving, Arthur . Her hatred was born of fear . That changes a person to their very core. She held me captive enough, I got to know her quite well. Behind those beautiful, haunted eyes was a soul filled with pain, bitterness, and rage that no one could have overcome. I would bet my life that Merlin tried, and if he could not save her , what chance did you have?” “You’re probably right,” Arthur said, “They were once friends, you know . Merlin and Morgana…there was a time when I thought, they were more. But then something happened that caused a rift between them. Something changed after Mor gause and the Knights of Medhir attacked Camelot. She put all the people to sleep, only Mor gana was still awake… now I know why . Then something happened, the knights stopped and Mor gause took her away . We searched for more than a year . When we finally found her and brought her home, Merlin was visibly shaken. It was as if he did not want her back in Camelot.” “I’m sure he had good reason.” “Yes, I am certain he did. I just wish I knew the truth. I will probably never know everything.” “Probably not, and the dragon did say there were things Merlin did...that could be one of them.” “I didn’ t know at the time that Mor gana was my half-sister ,” Arthur shook his head, “I am not certain when she learned the truth, but I believe it was that knowledge that made her turn against our father . She became so twisted, a dark vengeful witch, determined to take back her birthright.” “Uther was at fault, not you, Arthur . And definitely not Merlin. Whatever he did, he did out of love for you and Camelot. The choice he made that day to stop her , it was made for the very same reason. He saw no other way out.” Arthur swiped at his eyes again and nodded, “I know .” “We will reach the Crystal Cave soon. It is not much farther . We should set up camp for the night and wait until morning to use the crystal?” “That’ s probably wise,” Arthur said, “I want to be rested and thinking clearly when I do this. We only have one shot at it.” “I know a good spot, not far from the cave. W e can set up camp there and take a look inside before we do anything.” They rode down into a ravine that looked vaguely familiar to Arthur . As they got of f the horses, he remembered. It was the day bandits had chased him and Merlin. He’d been shot in the back with an arrow , the bandits were on top of them. Y et Merlin had not only fended them of f somehow but healed him from what easily could have been a fatal wound. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked as he got the fire going, “Are you all right?” “Yes, it’ s just I have been here before…with Merlin. W e were running from bandits, and I was shot in the back with an arrow . Merlin told me it did not pierce my armor , but I remember now .” “What else can you remember?” “I could hear Merlin talking to me. Just flashes of memory , I remember hearing him crying. At one point I heard him talking to someone, but there was no one else there. It makes no sense,” Arthur said shaking his head. “When I woke up the next morning, I was healed, and Merlin was behaving oddly . He seemed traumatized by something.” “Something he saw in the Crystal Cave,” Gwaine said knowingly . “It is said that the Crystal of Neahtid had the power to show the future. If it came from the cave…” “Merlin’ s magic allowed him to see the future through the crystals in the cave. It would explain why he was so upset.” “Merlin must have seen something about Mor gana. It was shortly after we returned to Camelot, she left her chambers late one night and somehow ended up falling down the stairs fracturing her skull. She was dying then inexplicably healed…Merlin must have healed her . He healed her despite knowing what she would become. He could have just let her die.” Gwaine looked down at the fire, “Merlin still had hope that he would be able to help her . He must have known that she was your sister .” “I remember telling him that I would give up my place on the throne for her to see another sunrise,” Arthur said, “He saved her life because I wanted her to live. W e grew up together and I loved her as a sister . I could not bear the thought of losing her . Everything Merlin did was for me. He tried to save my father too. But Mor gana interfered in the spell, he died and Merlin…the guilt he must have felt. He risked so much.” “I still can’ t believe that old sorcerer was Merlin all along,” Gwaine huf fed a laugh. “It is no wonder he kept his secret from me, even after my father was gone. I lashed out and tried to kill him. Then later , when he came to me as himself, I told him I had lost both my parents to magic…that it was pure evil, and I would never lose sight of that again. I was essentially telling Merlin that he was pure evil.” “And if your father had lived…do you really believe things would have changed for Merlin?” “No, I would not have been able to free magic until I became king. He would have still had to hide who he was.” “And yet Merlin still tried to save Uther knowing full well that either way he would have to continue to live in the shadows,” Gwaine said shaking his head. “He could have done nothing and just let my father die…it would have been easier and safer for him to do so. Merlin risked everything to help me because I asked him to. Just as he did with Mor gana. I was angry at him for keeping his magic a secret and yet I never gave him a reason to trust me with that secret.” “All that matters is that you accepted him in the end. Now , sit down here and eat something, then get some rest,” Gwaine said. “No, not yet. I need to see the cave. Where is the entrance?” Gwaine got up, grabbed his sword then headed down a path. “This way ,” he said, and Arthur followed him. They walked into the mouth of the cave. Gwaine found a discarded torch and lit it. They climbed up over the rocks, moving deeper into the cavern until they emer ged into a wide-open area filled with glowing crystals. “Gwaine, return to camp, keep watch I need to be alone,” Arthur said. Gwaine nodded and went to pass him the torch, but he refused it. “You won’ t be able to see your way out of here.” “And neither will you if I take the torch.” “Fine, I will come back for you in a little while,” Gwaine said. “Thank you again, Gwaine…for being here with me. I am not sure I could have faced this on my own.” “You’re welcome,” he said then made his way back out of the cave leaving Arthur alone. Arthur sat down on the ground in the center of the crystals and closed his eyes. Even without magic, he could feel the power emanating from them. Merlin had come here to regain his magic after Mor gana’ s creature stole it from him. Arthur could imagine him there, injured, and scared…trapped because of the cave-in caused by Mor gana. “Merlin, can you hear me,” Arthur asked, tears pooling in his eyes, “I miss you. I need to see you again, to talk to you. There is so much I need to say . So much I have to make up for . Merlin, please…” Arthur sat in silence listening. He heard the trickle of water as it ran down the wall of the cave into the crystal-clear pool where they would place the Crystal of Neahtid for the summoning. He was tempted to go back to camp, get the crystal and perform it now , but his mind was foggy . He wanted to be rested and focused. “Is anyone there,” he asked receiving no response. “I will return tomorrow ,” Arthur got to his feet and headed toward the mouth of the cave. He was able to see well enough without the torch and reached the entrance just as Gwaine came through. “Are you all right?” he asked. “I will be tomorrow , if this works,” Arthur said stepping out into the night. Gwaine hesitated a moment glancing back up toward the crystals. He feared what would happen if Merlin refused to appear . Arthur would be devastated. “Merlin, Arthur needs you, my friend. Please, do not refuse him when he summons you,” Gwaine said then followed his king. Arthur woke at dawn, but he let Gwaine sleep a little longer while he went over the words Gaius had written down. At least it was not the language of the Old Religion. He wondered if it would even work. What if nothing happened? W ould that mean it failed or that Merlin refused to come through? “Did you get any sleep at all?” Gwaine asked as he sat up rubbing his eyes. “I did…a few hours here and there.” “You are exhausted.” “I’ll sleep for a week after I see Merlin and talk to him.” Gwaine studied him closely . “Are you sure you will be able to move on if Merlin refuses to show?” “I cannot think about that possibility right now ,” Arthur said then got up, retrieving the Crystal of Neahtid from Gwaine’ s saddlebag. “I’m going to do this now .” “I’m coming with you,” Gwaine said then pulled on his boots, grabbed the torch, lit it in the fire, and followed his king. The sun was just coming over the crest of the hill, its golden rays filtering through the trees, illuminating the mouth of the cave. They stepped inside and then climbed up to the crystals. Looking around, Gwaine nodded toward the pool. “That must be it,” he said. Arthur nodded approaching it as he slipped the crystal from the leather pouch and dropped to his knees in front of the pool. He placed it in the water and then looked at Gwaine. He took a breath before reading the words on the parchment. When he finished, he stood up and stepped back. At first, nothing happened, but a moment later a low hum began. It grew louder , the crystal began to vibrate in the water causing ripples on the surface. “Merlin,” Arthur said his voice pleading. He did not care if he had to beg, he would do it. “Merlin, I need you…please,” he said. He saw Gwaine step back a bit. “Scared?” he asked him with a slight smile. “No, not at all,” Gwaine smirked, though his eyes were wide. “Arthur ,” a deep voice reverberated of f the walls that was definitely not Merlin. Arthur turned around to see a familiar bearded figure standing a few feet away . “Balinor…” he said. The man was solid but had a bluish light around him. “King Arthur ,” Balinor smiled fondly , “He said you would come.” “Merlin? Where is he? Please, I need to see him…speak with him.” “In due time,” Balinor said, “There is something you need to see first.” “If Merlin is afraid, he does not have to be.” Balinor nodded, stepping closer , “Great King, there are many things my son was forced to do of which he is not proud. After you see what I am about to show you, if you still want to speak to him, he will come through the veil.” Arthur nodded, “So, be it, but there is nothing you can show me that will change my mind.” “Very well,” Balinor said then stepped back waving a hand toward the lar gest of the crystals and suddenly there were images. Gwaine put out the torch and then moved to stand with Arthur . “W atch, Arthur…” the older man nodded, and the images moved through the crystals. Arthur inhaled sharply as he saw moments from Merlin’ s life flashing before his eyes. From before he came to Camelot, his mother ’s letter to Gaius. He smiled as he saw a happy , carefree Merlin walking along the road, arriving in Camelot only to witness a beheading of a sorcerer first thing. “I would have turned tail and run if that were my first experience in Camelot, and I don’ t even have magic,” Gwaine said. Arthur shook his head, “But he stayed.” He kept his eyes on the crystals taking it all in. Their first meeting…their fight, then the banquet hall, the falling chandelier , and time visibly slowing while Merlin pulled Arthur out of the path of the witch’ s dagger . Valiant and the snakes, Nimueh and the poison that Merlin drank to save him, the light orb in the cave, Lancelot and the Grif fin, Edwin trying to kill his father , and Merlin saving him. Sophia, Aulfric, Kanen, and the bandits in Ealdor…the wind that turned the battle. Arthur saw the unicorn and Anhora, The Questing Beast, and the battle with Nimueh, Merlin was hit by a ball of fire, lying on the ground only to get to his feet and draw lightning from the sky , killing Nimueh. He was shocked to see the beast he had wounded, had actually been Freya…Freya from the Lake of A valon. Merlin had loved her . She died in Merlin’ s arms on the shore of the lake. Arthur had taken away the one person Merlin found who could understand him…accept him for who he truly was…love him the way he deserved to be loved. Even that did not compare to the shock of seeing the image of Merlin poisoning Mor gana and his releasing of the Great Dragon and the moment he learned who his father was before they set out on their quest to find Balinor . The moment Balinor learned who Merlin was and seeing them together by the fire while Arthur slept. The depth of emotion in Merlin’ s face when his father said good night to him for the first…and last…time in his life. Balinor ’s death and the overwhelming grief in Merlin’ s eyes…how he had struggled to hide it from Arthur who’d told him no man was worth his tears. Then the confrontation with the dragon and Merlin realizing his powers as a Dragonlord, speaking to Kilgharrah in a voice that sent shivers all through Arthur ’s body . The images continued and Arthur had no idea how he managed to absorb all of it, it had to be the magic enabling him to grasp and understand each and every moment as they flashed quickly . He laughed aloud when he saw Merlin release the Goblin. Then remembered his donkey ears and braying and his father ’s bald head the flatulence… “Should have known he was responsible for that,” he smirked. “Sorry I missed that one,” Gwaine chuckled. The images continued through the years everything from Elena being a changeling, to yet more of Mor gana’ s deception and the bizarre and quite frightening Manticore which Merlin fought. It was the stuf f of nightmares. Then the discovery of Arthur and Guinevere’ s relationship and Merlin changing into the old sorcerer to clear her name only to nearly end up burned on the pyre himself. The young sorcerer who fought Uther in the tournament. Merlin befriending the boy and trying to teach him the right way to use magic. It's...lonely . To...be mor e powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow . To...be special and…and have to pr etend you'r e a fool. I know how it feels, I understand. “Merlin,” Arthur shook his head watching the scene. Merlin with a flame burning in the palm of his hand, revealing his true self to this boy in an attempt to convince him not to fight. “Gods, you should never have been made to feel that way .” The next scenes were of their quest to find the Cup of Life. Then the loss of Camelot and Morgana crowned queen, slaughtering its citizens in her lust for power . Her telling their father that she hated him. Merlin retrieving the sword from the Lake of A valon to save Camelot from the immortal Army by spilling the blood from the Cup of Life, the Doracha, the death of Uther , and Merlin saving the dragon’ s egg from the tomb of Ashkanar and hatching the white dragon into the world…her name was Aithusa. The battle with Queen Annis and her giant and watching Merlin’ s eyes flash gold as he helped Arthur in the fight when Mor gana’ s spell made his sword impossible to wield. Then came the moment both he and Gwaine had wondered about. Merlin restrained, hanging by his arms in Mor gana’ s hovel in pain and soaking wet. Mor gana putting the head of a damn snake in the back of his neck commanding him to kill Arthur . Followed by Merlin’ s many failed attempts to obey her . It was then that something occurred to Gwaine. “Arthur , when we found him, he was covered in mud from head to toe and you hugged him anyway . Was that the only time you ever showed him af fection? Every time prior , at the Fisher King’ s castle, after he survived the Doracha, you never embraced him like that.” “No,” Arthur shook his head, “He tried to hug me once and I refused.” “You do realize that the one and only time you ever hugged him he was under Mor gana’ s control. It is likely that he never even remembered it.” Arthur lowered his gaze and let out a breath, “Y ou are right, Gwaine. I kept him at arms- length, but not for the reason you think.” “Oh, I know why ,” Gwaine smirked. “Enlighten me then,” Arthur said. “Because you knew , if you gave into those feelings, that there would be no turning back.” “I loved him…” “And he loved you. He was Mor gana’ s prisoner ,” Gwaine said, “She was controlling Merlin, and yet every assassination attempt failed almost comically . That tells me Merlin’ s magic was protecting you even though he was not in control.” Arthur nodded, “I have no doubt. He was incapacitated and dying when he sent that light to me in the cave when I went in search of the Mortaeus flower .” The battle between Mor gana and Old Merlin was brutal. Arthur was stunned to see the raw power of his sister and his best friend and knew full well that Merlin could have killed her at any time. He had been holding back. Gwaine was surprised too, letting out a gasp when Merlin swept her up in a mighty whirlwind tossing her like a ragdoll. Then destroying the Fomorrah freeing himself from her control only to return to Camelot and find himself forced into a training session with Geor ge. “Oh, now that was just plain cruel, Arthur ,” Gwaine laughed, “Poor Merlin.” “I thought it was funny at the time,” Arthur said, “But not so much now that I know what he went through. I feel like such a fool…a selfish idiot.” The images flashed faster , the Lamia then the return of Lancelot who had not actually been Lancelot, but a shade sent by Mor gana to interfere in his and Guinevere’ s wedding. Arthur was relieved to know the truth…to know his friend Lancelot had not actually betrayed him. He chuckled as he saw Merlin’ s little pranks on him while Mithian was in Camelot. The spilling of the soup, the uncontrollable burping. “Jealous, Merlin,” Gwaine laughed heartily . “Jealous, no, he was just upset that I was moving on from Guinevere.” “No, my friend, that was pure jealousy because he was watching the man he loved with yet another beautiful woman,” Gwaine smirked. “Don’ t be ridiculous, Gwaine,” Arthur shook his head then watched the images from the hunt and the deer which had been an enchanted Guinevere. He saw Merlin’ s eyes flash gold and the arrow he had shot went wide only for Mithian to fire and hit her . He felt sick to his stomach. Merlin had ridden out in the night alone to find her…healed her with his magic. “Merlin…” Arthur choked. Then came the deception of Agravaine, Arthur wanted to punch something as he saw all that his uncle had done. He had been working with Mor gana from the start. Undermining his authority at every turn. The kidnapping of Gaius, yet another time when Arthur should have listened to Merlin and did not. Merlin using magic to turn him into a simpleton and putting him in those ridiculous clothes. Then an image of Merlin calling Kilgharrah and the dragon wiping out the majority of Agravaine’ s army . Gwaine let out an impressed whistle and Arthur wanted to see it again… there was just something about Merlin’ s dragon powers…the deep, resonating, almost animalistic tone to his voice. Next came the image that confirmed Arthur ’s fears. Merlin in the tunnels, facing Agravaine and what was left of his army and being forced to use his magic to kill them all. “Merlin did kill Agravaine,” Arthur said. “I should have listened to him when he tried to tell me that my uncle was working against me. Merlin should not have been put in that position…I let him go back there alone. It should have been me to face him. I should never have trusted my uncle.” “Agravaine was your family , it is understandable that you would trust him.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “I should have learned from Mor gana’ s betrayal that family means nothing. Even my father betrayed me in so many ways. It was Merlin, all these years… Merlin who I should have trusted fully , he was my other half…my friend, my family , and more.” “More?” Gwaine grinned. “Shut up,” Arthur rolled his eyes. The next image was Arthur pulling the sword from the stone, the golden light, and the pride in Merlin’ s eyes as he’d helped Arthur to believe in himself again. Merlin sneaking back into the citadel planting some magical object under Mor gana’ s bed that had rendered her temporarily powerless. Now , he knew the meaning behind her comment about Emrys. How wrong she had been, because Emrys was right there in front of her all along, protecting Arthur . Merlin had saved them yet again and they had retaken Camelot and Mor gana disappeared. As the images moved on into the last year , before the battle at Camlann, Arthur saw for the first time just how hard it had been for Merlin. How weighed down and unhappy he had become, rarely smiling. T ears filled his eyes as he saw Merlin fighting every single damn day to keep him alive. The worst was seeing him dying alone on the forest floor after being poisoned by Mor gana and thrown over a clif f only to recover with the help of that boy and then they returned to Camelot in time to save Arthur from the Sarrum’ s assassin. An assassin Guinevere ordered. Seeing her now , knowing it was her all along trying to kill him because of Mor gana’ s ritual. He could barely breathe as he saw Merlin’ s tears after he had uttered the deep guttural words to heal Arthur from the poison, once again saving his king. Then saving Guinevere from Mor gana’ s curse, becoming The Dolma to do so, because he could not use magic in front of Arthur . “Oh, Merlin,” Arthur gasped. The rest was a blur , the betrayal of Mordred, the creature that stole Merlin’ s magic, his goodbye to Gwaine, the confrontation between him and Mor gana in the cave, and Merlin healing. Regaining his magic in time to warn Arthur using the crystals. When it was all over, Arthur and Gwaine stood frozen in place struggling to grasp it all. “Gwaine, I saw the look in your eyes when you and Merlin parted. Y ou knew…” Arthur turned to him and shook his head. “Not exactly , I wondered if he had magic, but I never knew for certain. Just something inside me knew that would be the last time I would see Merlin. I felt it, deep in my soul, that one or both of us would not survive.” Arthur watched the last of the images. The moment Merlin told him he had magic…that he was a sorcerer . He was ashamed as Gwaine watched his reaction expecting to feel his knight’ s judgment. “You took it better than I thought you would,” Gwaine said with a huf f. “Yes, well, I am not proud of that. I should have been more understanding…what it took for him to finally tell me his deepest secret.” The last scene was the moment Merlin sacrificed himself and as it faded away they both stood there silent and stunned. “Do you understand,” Balinor asked as he stepped forward, “Why Merlin is afraid?” Arthur shook his head, “It does not matter…none of it matters, Balinor . I want…I need to see Merlin…to talk to him.” “Then you can for give my son?” Balinor asked. “No,” Arthur said, “There is nothing to for give. It is I who needs to make amends for what I did, for how I treated him. I need to ask him to for give me.” “Arthur…” Merlin’ s voice came from all around them, and Arthur smiled. “Merlin, thank God,” he let out a breathy laugh, “Merlin, please, I need you to show yourself to me…you have nothing to fear .” Balinor stepped back revealing Merlin standing just behind him, an uneasy smile on his face. Arthur stared at him unable to believe he was really there. Merlin came closer , like his father , there was a bluish glow around him, but he was solid…he was there. He reached out a hand to touch the face of his king, but all Arthur could feel was a warm tingling sensation. His heart sank as he had hoped to be able to touch Merlin. “I am so glad to see you,” Arthur breathed out. “You really came,” Merlin said, “I mean, I hoped, but I wasn’ t sure how you felt about magic after everything.” “I need to feel you,” Arthur choked. It was a struggle to find the words, to get out what he needed to say before Merlin went away again. “I’m afraid that’ s not possible, but I am here, Arthur .” “Merlin, for give me…there is so much I did not know . Things you went through. The loss of your father , Freya, W ill…I am so sorry I was not there for you all those times you needed me. I am sorry I let you be captured and tortured by Mor gana. I am sorry for the hurtful thing I said to you before Camlann, you are not a coward, and you were always the bravest man I ever met. I was stupid and selfish; I should have seen that you were in trouble.” “You had a war looming, I never blamed you for that. If it makes you feel any better , I cheated at dice in the tavern that night when I took all your money ,” Merlin gave him a cheeky grin. “Not the first time is it,” Arthur chuckled. “Gaius told you what happened? Why I had to leave?” “We pieced it together ,” Arthur glanced at Gwaine, “Gaius just confirmed it.” Merlin then looked at Gwaine, “Hello, Gwaine!” “Merlin,” Gwaine smiled through his own tears, “I miss you, my friend. Thank you for bringing me back from the dead.” “Anytime,” Merlin smiled then turned back to Arthur . “I tried so hard to get to you before Mordred could…” Merlin said lowering his gaze, “Kilgharrah warned me long ago when Mordred first came to Camelot…he said I should let him die or kill him myself and I just could not do it. Mor gana…what she became was all my fault.” “None of it was your fault and I am proud of you for not acting on the dragon’ s warnings. Mordred deserved to live…he deserved a chance to choose his own path and he did so. If anything, I pushed him right into Mor gana’ s waiting arms.” Merlin nodded, “Y ou…me…Mor gana…Mordred…our destinies were entwined. Everything happened because I lost sight of my humanity and made choices that I should not have made. If I had reached out to Mor gana and Mordred…if I had told you about my magic sooner… Arthur shook his head, “W e haven’ t much time, Merlin, I do not want to dwell on the past. The magic in the crystal will not last much longer . Gods, I want so badly to hold you in my arms right now , to tell you…” “I know , Arthur ,” Merlin smiled fondly . “No, I need to tell you,” Arthur said with tears sliding down his face, “I love you, Merlin. I love you more than I can ever say . I am sorry I buried my feelings for you. I was scared…” “Arthur ,” Merlin grinned, “I love you too. From the moment we met, I think.” “You called me an ass,” Arthur chuckled through his tears. “And a prat,” Merlin smiled, “But there is no one I would have rather served. I told you, I was born to serve you, Arthur , and I am so damn proud of that. I would not change a single thing.” “Oh, Guinevere is with child,” Arthur said, “I’m going to be a father . She wanted me to thank you for all you did for her as well.” Merlin beamed, “That makes me very happy . Knowing your child will grow up with both parents in a kingdom of peace. Just promise you won’ t name him after me…or her .” “There will always only be one Merlin in my life,” Arthur smiled, tears pooling in his eyes. “You are the other half of my soul and I feel so lost without you by my side. I should have told you long ago what you mean to me, Merlin.” “I think I knew . Sometimes the way you looked at me…I felt it. Even when you were throwing things and calling me names. Arthur chuckled, “Horseplay…” “I didn’ t mind really .” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, what you did…what you lost…your magic and your life. I was meant to die, not you. Do you even know what your sacrifice did to the prophecies? What will happen now? W ill you return one day , as I was meant to?” “Arthur , I did what I had to do to make sure you lived. Y ou are the king; I was but a servant. I would make the same decision all over again. My magic will never be completely gone as it is a part of my soul. As far as the prophecies…I do not know any more now than I did in life, except that you will live on to be the king I always dreamed you would be. And you have Gwen and soon a child. Remember me, live for me, be happy and tell everyone back in Camelot that I am all right. I am at peace.” Arthur brought his hands up trying to feel Merlin there, but he was just ener gy…magic. “I want you back,” he said softly . Merlin’ s eyes glistened as he appeared to be crying, “Arthur , please do not feel sadness or grief any longer . I am and always will be a part of you. Look after Gaius for me, tell him I’m sorry for leaving him. T ell my mother that I love her and that I am with my father . Tell Kilgharrah that I expect him to do all he can to protect you and Camelot in my absence. Merlin stepped closer pressing his forehead to Arthur ’s even though they couldn’ t actually feel each other . “I will make sure that you are remembered by everyone in the kingdom and beyond. I want to honor you the way you should have been in life.” “That is not why I did it, Arthur . I do not need honor or recognition. I just need to know that you are alive and well and happy ,” Merlin said then drew back slightly , “Arthur , Mor gana is with me. All this time she was under a curse placed on her by Mor gause during the year she was missing. It twisted her anger and fear turning her into a monster . She wanted me to tell you she is sorry for everything, though she knows that means little after all she did.” “Mor gana was cursed?” Arthur asked and Merlin nodded. “She is free of it, it released her when she died. She is at peace now , Arthur . Remember Morgana as she was before, kind, beautiful, and full of life. I am going to look after her as I should have done in life.” “Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her that I understand, that I for give her . That I still love her , I always did.” Merlin smiled, “I will tell her .” Then he looked at Gwaine and smiled, “Y ou will look after this dollop head for me?” “Always, Merlin,” Gwaine nodded, “It was good to see you again.” “You too, old friend,” Merlin said then turned back to Arthur , “I must go now . The magic of the crystal is fading.” “No, not yet,” Arthur said his voice catching in his throat, “Please…” “I have to go, but before I do…I need you to promise me that you will not use the Crystal of Neahtid to try to summon me again.” “No, Kilgharrah made that quite clear ,” Arthur shook his head. “Good,” Merlin smiled, “T ell me you haven’ t replaced me with a bootlicker .” “I can never replace you, Merlin…with a bootlicker or otherwise.” “Time to go, Arthur ,” Merlin said taking a step back, “Goodbye…be well and be happy .” “Merlin…” “Always…” Merlin said as he and his father stepped back vanishing in a bright bluish-white light. Arthur stood where he was for several minutes then collapsed to his knees, bowing his head. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, “Are you all right?” “No,” he huf fed a laugh, “But I suppose I will have to be.” “Come on, let’ s get you out of here,” Gwaine retrieved the crystal slipping it back into the leather pouch that Arthur had dropped on the ground. He relit the torch and nodded. “W e will get some food and rest then we can head back. W e should be able to reach Camelot before nightfall if we hurry .” Arthur got to his feet and with one last glance at the place where Merlin had stood, he turned and followed his knight out of the cave. He paused for a moment at the entrance when he heard Merlin’ s distant voice. Goodbye, Clotpole. He laughed aloud and Gwaine turned to look at him. “What?” “Nothing…let’ s go home,” Arthur smiled then putting his arm around the other man’ s shoulder , they walked back to their camp. The Circle of Life Six months later… Arthur paced the floor just outside of Gaius’ chambers his hands clasped behind his head, worry etched on his face, and tears pooling in his eyes. He was terrified. He kept seeing over and over in his head, his Guinevere collapsing to the floor in the middle of the feast, clutching her swollen belly , crying out in pain. She had looked up at him as he tried to comfort her after sending for Gaius. Arthur…our baby…something is wr ong… The sheer terror he felt at that moment. His mother had died giving birth to him. W as fate so cruel that it would cause history to repeat itself? W ould he lose his beautiful Guinevere and their baby? No, this cannot happen…not again. He glanced at the closed door again hearing whimpers and cries from his wife. Gaius had forced him to leave, he needed room to work, and Arthur was in the way , but he wanted to be with her . Needed to be with her . He turned and stopped short of punching the stone wall, instead pressing his palms flat against it then bowed his head. “Please…please, do not take them,” his voice came out in a stuttered cry of sheer pain. “Y ou took my mother…you took my father…” He let out a ragged breath then looked up, “Y ou took Merlin from me. Please, I beg of you,” Arthur choked, “Do not take my Guinevere… our child. I will do anything…anything…” “Arthur ,” Hunith said from the doorway , “You should come in now .” “Hunith I can’ t…I can’ t lose them,” he closed his eyes to hold back the tears as she caressed his cheek. “Arthur , come inside,” she nodded the grief in her eyes and her reassuring touch forced him to pull himself together he stepped into the room where Guinevere lay on the bed next to the fire. She reached her hand out for him and he dropped to his knees kissing it and then her forehead. Her hair was wet, and her face twisted in pain. “Arthur…” she gasped. She was so weak that she could barely lift her head. “Guinevere, please don’ t leave me,” he whispered, “I love you…” he looked up at Gaius meeting the old physician’ s gaze. His eyes held the same grief as Hunith’ s. “Gaius, save them, please…you have to save them!” “I’ve done all I can, Arthur ,” Gaius said, “The baby is coming, but I am afraid there is much bleeding inside. The baby is turned the wrong way…a breech. I cannot risk trying to turn the baby with Gwen already bleeding so heavily . To do so would risk both their lives.” Arthur nodded in understanding then looked into Gwen’ s eyes, “I am so sorry .” “Arthur , I don’ t want to leave you,” she cried. “There has to be something…magic…” he lowered his head. “My magic is not powerful enough, Sire,” Gaius said as he sat down on a bench. “If Merlin were here…” “Arthur , I’m afraid this would not even be within his power .” Gwen screamed, her fingers gripping the edges of the bed. She was shaking uncontrollably , and her skin was cold to the touch. Arthur was lost, he did not know what to do, and he was afraid to touch her and cause her more pain. He looked down seeing the blood and he knew…he was losing her . Hunith put her hands on Arthur ’s shoulders, “Arthur , let me take care of her .” He looked up at her and gave a slight nod then got to his feet moving to sit on the steps leading to Merlin’ s old room. Drawing his knees up, he pressed his hands to his face and wept silently . Merlin stood on the shore of A valon a heavy feeling had settled over him. Something was wrong…very wrong. Arthur… He bent down and placed a hand over the water , his eyes flashing gold. He saw Arthur lost and alone as Gwen screamed in pain. He heard Gaius and saw his mother helping to take care of her . “No!” Merlin yelled as he saw the blood and he knew . “No, please!” he screamed into the sky, “Stop this, please…Arthur cannot lose them!” “My child…” a woman wrapped in a soft white glow appeared over the water , “What distresses you so?” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur has lost enough. Do not take his wife and baby . I beg of you, White Goddess. Spare them.” “You insist on challenging the fates yet again for your king?” she asked with a raised eyebrow and a soft smile. “Have you not yet learned your lesson…what happens when you go against destiny?” “Save them, please! I will do anything. Y ou can take back my magic…” “Ah, Merlin, even in this world you continue to sacrifice yourself for King Arthur . He has moved on, as should you. I will not take back your magic.” “I cannot stand by and allow him to suf fer the loss of Gwen and their child. Not when there is something I can do to save them!” Merlin shouted. “What makes you think you can save them?” The Goddess studied him with narrowed eyes then lifted her head slightly and smiled. “V ery well…choose one,” she said bluntly . “What?” he asked, his eyes going wide. “Choose, Merlin, Guinevere, or the child. Choose, or both will die.” “How can I possibly make such a choice?” “You must do so now , my child. The queen or the heir? Which will live?” Merlin dropped to his knees on the shore, tears streaming down his face. He lowered his head focusing on the images in the water . Gwen or the baby , he could not choose…but if he did not, Arthur would lose them both. The kingdom would lose its queen and the heir to the throne…Arthur ’s legacy . “Merlin, you must choose,” the White Goddess said. Looking up at her , his eyes wide and filled with tears, “Arthur will be devastated.” “Yes, he will be, but you can spare him the loss of his wife or his child. I am only of fering you this chance out of love for you, my proudest creation…my gift to the world.” Merlin looked down at the images on the water's surface again then got to his feet. He swiped at his eyes and looked at her . His voice came out rough and deep. “I choose the child. Save their baby , please.” “Very well,” the goddess nodded then she took the tip of her silver staf f and swirled it through the images in the water and her eyes glowed bright white. Merlin stumbled back a step. A moment later she was gone, and he was alone. Arthur sat on the steps holding the tiny bundle in his arms, tears sliding down his face. His son…he had a son. He pressed his lips to the tiny head, a sob escaping his chest. His beautiful Guinevere was gone. How would he ever be able to go on without her? “Arthur , would you like me to take him?” Hunith asked. “No, not yet,” he shook his head. “I want you to know , that I will stay in Camelot and help you all I can,” she said softly . “Thank you, Hunith,” he gave her a sad smile, “He’ s beautiful, isn’ t he.” “Yes, he is,” she said pulling a small stool over so she could sit next to them. “Have you thought of a name?” Arthur nodded, “His name will be Gavin…Gavin Thomas Pendragon.” Hunith smiled, “That is the perfect name. Gavin is a bird…like a Merlin.” “Yes, it is. How do I do this alone?” Arthur asked, “How did you raise Merlin all alone?” “We do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy , Arthur . That is all we can do.” Arthur glanced over at the bed where a sheet covered the body of his Guinevere. “I failed her…I cannot fail him.” “These things happen, it was not your fault. The fact that Gavin survived is a miracle. I have helped to deliver many babies who were breech and they did not make it.” “Gaius…” Arthur said. “He will return soon. He went to inform the court and to make arrangements…” “I just…I can’ t believe she is gone,” Arthur shook his head. “I know , I am so deeply sorry . She was a wonderful woman and queen.” “Thank you for all you did for her through the last months. She loved you so much.” “And I her , we grew close during the time she lived with me in Ealdor . Arthur , she loved you deeply . She wanted this baby…she wanted you to have a son to carry on the Pendragon legacy . She told me many times that meant everything to her .” “I just never thought I would be raising him on my own.” “You will not be alone, you have so many people who love you, Arthur . You are like a son to me. I could not have gotten through Merlin’ s death without you and Gwen. I will always be here for you and Gavin, I promise.” “Thank you,” Arthur smiled reaching over to grasp her hand, “Having you here helped me too.” “Perhaps you should take Gavin to your chambers and get some rest, Arthur . I have arranged for a cradle to be placed in your room. I will come for you when she is ready , and I will stay with him while you say your goodbyes. I must go to the kitchen to prepare more of the milk for his next feeding.” Arthur stared at the bed and then nodded. “All right,” he said then got up carefully supporting the head of his infant son. He kissed Hunith on the forehead then left the room walking down the corridor . He was glad that he did not meet anyone along the way . It was after midnight. W alking into the chambers he had shared with Guinevere he felt the weight of her loss. Glancing down at the child in his arms he smiled. “I won’ t let you down, Guinevere,” he said softly , “I will raise our son. I will never let him forget his mother . He will be loved and cherished, and I promise he will never doubt his worth.” Merlin smiled through his tears as he watched the scene in the water . “Arthur , I am so sorry ,” he whispered. He turned as he heard a noise behind him. He saw Gwen coming toward the lake, looking as she did when she was a servant, wearing the pink dress she had worn the day he took her to the woods to meet Arthur for their picnic. He shook his head as she looked up and saw him. “Merlin!” she gasped and ran into his waiting arms. “Gwen, I am so sorry ,” he choked, tears running down his face. “Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for .” “I wanted to save you both…but the White Goddess forced me to choose.” “I don’ t understand,” Gwen said softly cupping his cheek. “I asked her to save you and the baby , but she made me choose between you. I chose to save the baby ,” Merlin said his voice breaking. “Oh, Merlin,” Gwen smiled brightly , “Thank you…thank you for saving my child. All I wanted was for my baby to live. That is all a mother can ask for .” “Arthur…” “Arthur will be all right,” she said, “He will be a wonderful father . I have no doubt.” “I was afraid…” Merlin shook his head, “I felt Arthur ’s despair , I just wanted to help.” “And you did, Merlin. Y ou saved my life many times, you saved my father , and now you have saved my beautiful baby . I owe you a debt I can never repay .” She stepped back and looked at him, “Y ou look good, Merlin. I have missed you.” “My magic has been slowly returning.” “So, this is where we go when it is over ,” Gwen said, “Y ou are here to greet me?” “Yes, well…it’ s the gateway ,” Merlin nodded, “I just like it here. It is peaceful.” “Where do I go next?” “Come with me,” he smiled then led her out onto the water . He waved a hand and a doorway appeared. It opened and she looked at him with a fond smile. “You’re coming with me then?” “No, but you won’ t be alone,” he nodded as Elyan and T om appeared in the open doorway . “Father! Elyan!” Gwen beamed then embraced Merlin, “Thank you for being here for me.” “I love you, Gwen,” he said then kissed her tenderly , “Go on, now , your family is waiting.” Gwen stepped through the door , and it vanished. Merlin stood there for a moment then looked up as the White Goddess appeared to him again. “It seems you made the right choice, my child.” “Thank you for your help. What will happen now?” “The child will live, it seems he has his own destiny ,” she smiled. “What do you mean?” “That is not for you to know…not yet,” the goddess said then vanished in a white light. “Great,” Merlin muttered, “Y ou’re worse than Kilgharrah.” Three years later… “Gavin!” Hunith called after the young prince, “Gavin, come here child. Are you trying to give me a fright? T ake pity on this old woman.” “Sorry ,” the little sandy-haired, blue-eyed boy gave her a sheepish grin, “I want to see father .” “A training field is no place for a little one,” Hunith beamed as she scooped him up in her arms. He kicked his legs gently , pressing his hand to her cheek. “Please, Hunith…” Letting out a breath, she shook her head, “Fine, but just for a little while. Then you are going to eat your lunch and take an afternoon nap. Promise?” Gavin nodded, “Promise!” Hunith carried him to the training field where Arthur was working with his new knights. Gwaine and Percival lingered of f to the side drinking from the water bucket, covered in sweat. It was already hot, and it was only late morning. Arthur glanced over , spotting them, and ran over to kiss his son’ s chubby cheek. “Y ou want to watch?” he asked, and Gavin nodded emphatically . “One day you will join us, my boy .” “That is a long time away ,” Hunith chided Arthur with a wink. “Yes, of course,” he chuckled then kissed Gavin again before jogging back to his men. Hunith moved to a bench and sat down putting Gavin on his feet while keeping her arm around him so he would not run out onto the field and get in the way . She watched as Arthur fought three knights at once and as usual, he defeated each of them with strength and stamina. She smiled as she remembered Merlin telling her how he and Arthur met. Her boys…all three of them, she thought as she kissed the top of Gavin’ s head. She lost Merlin, but she loved Arthur and Gavin as her own, feeling as proud of them as any mother would. As Ygraine would. A second group of knights, this time four , surrounded Arthur . She noted that one of them wore leather armor which she thought was odd. Arthur did not seem concerned about it as he began to spar with the four men. Hunith caught a glimpse, a flash of metal that was out of place. Before she could react the man with the leather rushed forward slicing at Arthur ’s throat with a dagger only to hit an invisible force his eyes widening in surprise for a split second before Arthur ran him through with his sword. He turned to look at his son, breathing hard and shaking. Gavin was standing with one arm raised and his eyes shimmering gold. Hunith looked from him to Arthur in shock. Neither of them said anything not wanting to draw attention to the boy. She had suspected for a while now that Gavin had magic…now there could be no doubt. He just saved his father ’s life without uttering a word of a spell. “That’ s enough,” Arthur growled at his men, “Get this rubbish of f the field.” He walked over to Gavin picking him up in his arms. “Gavin, you did that?” The boy nodded. “Couldn’ t let that bad man hurt you,” he said then his face fell, “Am I in trouble?” “No, no, my boy ,” Arthur kissed his forehead, “Y ou’re not in trouble, love.” He looked at Hunith questioningly then they walked back to the castle together . “I guess now we know .” “Yes,” she said, “Are you all right?” “Yes, thanks to my son.” “I was referring to what he did. Are you all right with the magic?” Arthur shook his head, “I am not scared of it, if that is what you’re asking. How did you feel when you realized Merlin had magic at such an early age?” Hunith laughed, “Merlin was much younger when I first saw his magic.” “Really?” Arthur asked. “Yes, the first time his eyes turned gold I was so frightened I nearly dropped him. He was only a week old at the time.” “So, he was literally born with it,” Arthur shook his head, “And now my Gavin has magic. What I do not understand is how . Guinevere did not have magic and I definitely do not have it. I wish Gaius were here, could really use his help.” Gaius had passed on just a year earlier . Hunith had taken over as healer and caretaker for Gavin. Arthur would have been lost without her in their lives since Guinevere died. “Who else can I go to?” “Maybe reach out to the Druids, they may know . Or Kilgharrah…” Arthur nodded, “If anyone would know the answer it would be the dragon.” It had become a regular occurrence for Arthur to go to the clearing and call to him. He would come and they would talk about Merlin and how much they missed him. Kilgharrah had explained the prophecies and his and Merlin’ s parts in them. He still did not know the lasting ef fects of Merlin’ s death. The Gods, or Fates, or whoever had not seen fit to reveal what lay ahead for them all. “I will go to him before nightfall.” “I want to go,” Gavin said, “Please, father .” “All right,” Arthur smiled, “I will take you, but only if you do what Hunith says and eat your lunch and take a nap.” “All right,” he grinned. “I should come along too,” Hunith said, “That way I can bring Gavin home when he gets too tired out. I know you will want to stay longer .” “You’re so good to us,” Arthur smiled then kissed her cheek. “I have to take care of my boys,” she winked then took Gavin from his father , “All right, food then nap, then we will go see the dragon.” Arthur stood there watching his giggling son and the woman who gave up everything to take care of them. He now knew exactly where Merlin inherited his deep compassion and his intelligence. Hunith reminded him so much of her son in the little facial expressions and the way she could look at him and know exactly what he was thinking. Arthur could not have survived the last three years without her support, her steadfast courage, and strength. Having her there was the next best thing to having Merlin himself. “Arthur ,” Leon said as he came toward him, “What happened back there on the training field?” “That new knight…Magne…he attacked me with a dagger . I killed him.” “I’m talking about the magic, Sire,” the taller man said. “Yes, that,” Arthur said as he turned and started walking up the steps. “Arthur?” Letting out a breath, Arthur glanced around and then moved closer to Leon. “It was Gavin.” Leon’ s eyes went wide, “Gavin has magic? How?” “I have no idea, but I need to find out. I will be going to the clearing before sunset with Gavin and Hunith,” he said, “I need to speak with Kilgharrah.” “I should come with you, or Gwaine,” he said. “We will be fine, but thank you, Leon.” “Magne was a traitor . We searched his quarters and found evidence that he was working for someone, but we do not know yet who it was.” “Could be anyone,” Arthur shook his head and continued walking up the stairs to the next floor . He turned the corner and headed for the council chambers. “There are many who are resisting the uniting of the five kingdoms under my rule.” “But the kings and queens have all sworn their allegiance and agreed to the terms.” “True, but there are others who are not so accepting of their decision. Many lords feel entitled to their kingdom’ s wealth and power which will now fall under Camelot’ s control and protection. In doing so it limits their ability to become wealthier of f the backs of the citizens. Keeps them from abusing their titles.” Leon smiled, “If your father could see what you have accomplished, Arthur…” “He would still find fault in it, as he always did. I no longer care about my father ’s approval or acceptance. He was wrong in all his decisions. W rong for his hate and bigotry and the genocide of hundreds…if not thousands of innocent people with and without magic.” “Well, for what it is worth, I am proud of you, Arthur ,” Leon said, “Y ou are a far better man and king than Uther ever was.” “And I owe it all to Merlin,” Arthur said softly , “Without him…Camelot would not be standing, and I would not be king.” “That may be true, but it was you that Merlin fought for , not the kingdom. It was his belief… his love that made him choose to fight by your side.” Arthur nodded and let out a breath, “I still miss him, and I miss my beautiful Guinevere.” “I know you do,” Leon said, “At least you have Gavin.” “Yes, and Gavin has magic,” Arthur huf fed a laugh. “Should make life interesting.” “To say the least.” “It is good you have Hunith to help. The voice of experience when it comes to magic.” “I am eternally grateful for her . I would be lost without Hunith’ s guidance and support.” “Like her son,” Leon said knowingly , and Arthur smiled. “I must go now , Gwaine is speaking to people trying to find out if anyone knows where Magne came from.” “Keep me informed,” Arthur said and watched as Leon walked down the corridor . He reached the door of the council chambers and went inside to find Percival studying a map. “Arthur ,” he said, “I was just looking over the finished map of the newly united kingdoms. It is amazingly well done and detailed.” “You always did love your maps,” Arthur grinned. “When you have traveled as much as I, maps are interesting.” “I never imagined I would one day be the ruler over all five kingdoms as one.” “After you defeated Mor gana, they felt you were the leader they all needed.” “I did not do it alone,” Arthur shook his head and sat down at the head of the table. “No, but it was you who inspired every man, woman, and child to fight for freedom. It was your love for your people that drove you, unlike some kings who only cared about themselves and no one else.” “It was my knights, my army , my queen, and…” Arthur ’s voice trailed of f. “Merlin,” Percival said. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “If not for him I could have easily turned into one of those kings. He and Guinevere taught me so much about compassion and strength…putting others first no matter what their station. They showed me that a person’ s title or position in life does not determine their worth, as did Gwaine. Lancelot taught me to stand for what I believed in… for what was right and good. Y ou, Percival, showed me that strength and bravery were not enough and that I needed to be open-minded and listen to people. Gaius’ skills as a physician, Leon’ s loyalty , and Elyan’ s determination…all of you have made me the king I am.” Percival smiled, “And none of us would be here if not for Merlin.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “Y es, you are right. Sometimes I think Gwaine and Lancelot were more loyal to Merlin than to me.” “Gwaine told me some of what you two witnessed in the Crystal Cave,” Percival said as he took a seat to Arthur ’s right. “Merlin should have a statue erected in the square in his honor .” Arthur grinned, “Merlin would hate it. All he did, he did not want rewards or to be celebrated…just to be accepted for who he was…to be free.” “Free to use his magic,” Percival nodded. “Every time I think about the danger he faced every single day he lived in Camelot. All the hangings, beheadings, the pyres in the courtyard…all those people, they could have been him at any given moment and I would have been powerless to stop it while my father lived.” “You would have found a way . You would never have let Merlin die like that.” “No, instead he sacrificed himself for me.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom.” “His dream of being free…it is not fair that he died never knowing freedom. He lived his entire life in fear of persecution, slavery , and death. He deserved that chance.” “Yes, he did,” Percival nodded, “But you were more important to him than his freedom…his life. He proved that over and over again. Do you think there is a chance that one day he will return?” “I do not know . He didn’ t know either . The prophecies said I would die, and he would live on.” “His magic made him immortal.” “He told me that his magic will never totally be gone because it is a part of him, part of his soul.” “Then perhaps once his magic is at full strength, he will be able to return. He will be immortal again,” Percival said. “I am not sure that is how it works. He no longer has a body anyway; it was burned by Kilgharrah on A valon. Even if he could return, his soul would have nowhere to go.” Percival nodded, “W e all miss him. He was like a brother to all of us.” Arthur ran a hand through his hair , “He was everything to me.” “I know , Arthur . I may not have been here in the beginning, but I saw enough to know that you loved him as much as he loved you. Even if you could not show it.” Clearing his throat awkwardly , Arthur leaned forward pulling the map closer , “Let’ s have a look at this map.” Percival smiled, “Y es, Sire.” “It’s a beautiful evening,” Hunith said inhaling the fresh air as she rode the dark gray mare next to Arthur on his white stallion Apollo with Gavin in front of him. “Yes, it is,” Arthur smiled. Gavin looked up at him and grinned, “Going to see Killy!” Arthur laughed, “Y es, we are. Though I’m not sure you should call him that.” “He likes me,” Gavin said. “Yes, he does. He said you were special. I guess now we know what he meant.” “Like Merlin,” the boy grinned. “Just like Merlin,” Arthur wrapped his arm around Gavin pulling him closer , kissing the top of his beautiful son’ s dark blonde head. “Y our mother would be so proud of you, little one… so brave and smart.” “Like his father ,” Hunith smiled, and Arthur laughed. Reaching their destination, Arthur dismounted and put Gavin down on the ground watching as the boy ran to the center of the clearing, looking up into the sky . He then turned to help Hunith down and tethered the horses to a tree while she went to join Gavin. He looked around, taking in their surroundings. He reached for his sword as a sudden feeling of unease washed over him. Shaking his head, he drew the sword and called to Kilgharrah and waited. “Arthur ,” Hunith turned to look back at him, her eyes wide as she seemed to be sensing something as well. Arthur took two steps toward Gavin. He heard a sound behind him and spun around as a heavy fog came out of nowhere, enveloping them making it impossible to see anything. He heard the sound of men rushing toward them, obscured by the fog, and ran to where he knew that Hunith and Gavin had been standing. They were gone. “Gavin! Hunith!” he yelled, “Where are you?” “Arthur!” he heard Hunith cry out and turned heading toward the sound of her voice. “No, get away from him!” Hunith screamed. “Leave him alone!” “Hunith!” Arthur caught a glimpse of five men dressed in leather and chain mail moving through the fog, wielding swords, and maces. They had not seen him, and he moved silently his heart pounding in his chest as he forced himself to focus. He looked up at the sky hoping to see the dragon and nearly tripped over Hunith who was on the ground a deep gash on her forehead. “Arthur ,” she gasped, tears streaming down her face as she grabbed his tunic, “I tried to stop them…they have Gavin!” “Hunith, take this,” Arthur said handing her the dagger from his boot. “Can you walk?” he asked. “I think so,” she nodded, and he helped her up leading her over to a stand of trees. “Stay here, I have to go after them,” he said, “Which way did they take him?” “That way ,” Hunith motioned to her left, “Arthur…” The sound of heavy wings somewhere above made them both look up and Kilgharrah swooped down letting loose a hot breath that cleared the fog around them then he landed. “Kilgharrah, they have my son!” Arthur said, “I need your help.” The dragon launched into the air once again and circled overhead burning of f the fog until they could see the area. Arthur spotted two men and rushed them killing one. The other he shoved up against a tree the blade of his sword pressing against the man’ s throat. “Where’ s my son?” he roared. “Where you will never find him,” the man grinned, his dark eyes cold. “Tell me now!” Arthur growled his blade drawing blood. “Never!” Arthur stepped back and drove his sword through the man killing him instantly . Looking up he saw Kilgharrah burn a trail taking out three more men. “They are heading east,” Kilgharrah said then headed in that direction with Arthur following on the ground. He ran down an incline and through a ravine stopping as he heard Gavin crying in the distance. “Gavin!” Arthur called out and started running toward the sound of his son’ s voice. He scrambled over a rise and ran through a brook following tracks in the mud. He reached a ridge and looked down spotting a group of twelve men mounting horses one of them struggling to hold on to a squirming and kicking Gavin who was fighting with everything he had. “Gavin! Release him now!” Arthur shouted half running half sliding down the steep slope. “Let me go!” Gavin screamed, then bit the man holding him, on his upper arm. The man roared and slapped him hard and Gavin went limp. “No!” Arthur yelled, jumping over a fallen tree. Kilgharrah swooped down the men scattered firing crossbows at him to no ef fect. “Give me back my son!” he locked swords with three men who rushed him, he fought them of f killing two and wounding the third. When he looked around the man holding Gavin was nowhere in sight and Kilgharrah was laying down a trail of flames through the woods. “Gavin!” Arthur yelled his heart crushed in a vise of panic and desperation as he turned in a complete circle running a hand through his hair. Smoke from the fires and the still lingering fog made it impossible to see anything especially with the sun going down. Kilgharrah landed near Arthur . “I am sorry , Great King,” he said, “I lost sight of them when they split up in the woods. I could have burned everything, but I was afraid I would harm the boy.” “They took him…they took my son,” Arthur said fighting tears. He could not think, his hands were shaking. “Kilgharrah, I need you to go to Camelot and get help, please. I will go back and check on Hunith at the clearing. T ell my men to meet us there as soon as possible.” “I will go,” the dragon said then leaped into the air flying for Camelot. Arthur pulled himself together and somehow made his way back to the clearing. He found Hunith sitting by a fire hugging herself, rocking back and forth with tears streaming down her face. She looked up as Arthur approached her , eyes going wide and full of hope that vanished when she did not see Gavin. “I am so sorry ,” she choked shaking her head, “I tried to hold on to Gavin, but they hit me.” Arthur crouched next to her , cupping her cheek, “It was not your fault. There’ s nothing you could have done. I chased them, I saw him, but they got away…I—I sent Kilgharrah for help. Did you hear or see anything that could help us find him?” Hunith thought for a moment then nodded, “I heard someone mention King Alined.” “Alined? Why would he take Gavin? Those men were not wearing Deorham colors.” “I also heard the name Amren,” she said, and Arthur nodded. “Alined’ s son, Prince Amren…that makes more sense. He is the sole heir to the throne of Deorham and railed against the uniting of the kingdoms under my rule. He was to inherit the throne when Alined dies and was not pleased that his father signed the agreement that essentially gave away his birthright.” “But he will still be king, just under Camelot rule…your rule,” Hunith said. “Yes, but he will not have the power his father had during his reign. I should have known he would retaliate. Dammit.” “He won’ t hurt Gavin, will he?” Hunith asked tears shining in her eyes. Arthur shook his head, “I do not know . The man holding Gavin slapped him to make him stop fighting him. He stopped moving.” “Dear Gods,” she gasped, “Oh, Arthur , I’m so sorry .” “Hunith, stop blaming yourself,” Arthur said, “If anyone is to blame it is me for coming here without protection.” “How did they even know you would be here?” “Obviously , there was someone else other than Magne in Camelot. They must have overheard us talking. The knights will be here soon. W e will get him back.” “What caused that fog?” Hunith asked. “Magic, I have seen it before. Only that time it was Merlin trying to help the Druids.” “They have magic…” “It seems so.” “What are you going to do?” “I’m going to find my son, and God help anyone who gets in my way ,” Arthur said, his eyes fierce and dark. The Calling Merlin felt it, the call of his magic…not from within but coming from the other side. Reaching, pulling, dragging him toward the edge of the lake. He ran through the woods, the sun’s rays filtering down through the branches. W ithout slowing his pace, he dove into the water swimming hard and fast until he saw the bright blinding light beneath the surface. He headed right for it and busted through the center exploding to the surface. His lungs burned his body suddenly felt heavy and awkward. He stumbled from the water collapsing to his knees on the shore digging his long fingers into the sand. Sucking in air , he looked up at the dark sky at the bright stars shining through gaps in a heavy fog that felt unnatural. He tried to stand, but his legs did not want to work. He let out a groan rolling onto his back. He was cold, trembling, and weak…he was alive. Alive and naked. “Ow,” he moaned pressing his hand to his forehead. The magic was even stronger now , calling to him. He inhaled deeply trying to focus. He felt his magic sur ge within him in answer to the call. Whatever it was, it was bad…really bad. He needed to get up and move. Being slammed back into this body , his own body , he would have to figure out later how that was even possible when his body was burned to ash by dragon fire over three years prior . Merlin crawled up the shore and then stood on legs as wobbly as a newborn colt. His eyes flashed bright gold, focusing everything on finding his equilibrium and strengthening this new body . Running a hand through his dark hair he looked around. Please, help me… Hearing the words so clearly startled him. It sounded like a small child. He reached out with his magic, eyes burning gold as he sent his vision out into the woods over hills and through ravines, along a brook searching for the source. He found it in a camp hidden deep in a gully . Surrounded by fifteen men with three campfires, a small child sat huddled in a blanket his hands and feet tied. I hear you, little one. Merlin waited and listened for a response. Who was this child and why did his magic feel so familiar , like a part of his own? Merlin… How do you know my name? My father… Your father…what is your name? Gavin…Prince Gavin Pendragon… Merlin’ s knees nearly gave out again as the realization hit him. Gavin…Arthur and Gwen’ s son and he had magic…Merlin’ s magic. He was in trouble. I’m coming for you, Gavin. Do not give up. Hurry , Merlin… Keep talking to me, little one. I’m her e. Don’ t be scar ed. I want to go home…want my father… I will get you back to him, I pr omise. Merlin ran through the woods until he came to a village where people were settling in for the night. He skirted the edge until he found a house with nearly dry laundry hanging on a rack. He grabbed a worn brown tunic and a dark gray cloak with a hood, and brown trousers. He dressed quickly and then called a pair of boots to him from inside the house whispering a word to make them fit him. He then uttered an apology and a few words of magic to warm their hearth and stack their firewood. It was all he could do for now , he had to get to Gavin. The village didn’ t have any horses, so he focused on Gavin and started to run. He considered calling Kilgharrah, but from what he could tell the area was heavily wooded and the dragon would not be able to land nearby . He wasn’ t even sure if his Dragonlord powers would still work since he died and he had no son to pass them down to. Gavin, ar e you still with me? I’m her e…the man with strange eyes made me want to sleep. Someone with magic… Merlin… It’s all right, you r est. I will be ther e soon. I won’ t let anyone hurt you. Okay… Merlin clambered up a hillside, his eyes shining in the darkness helping him find his way . He was finally feeling at home in his own body again, his long legs strong and sure, his balance and focus returning. He couldn’ t help smiling it felt so good to be alive again and at the moment he wasn’ t about to question such a gift. W as this permanent or would he be forced to return to A valon? Taking every shortcut that he could remember , Merlin finally reached the camp. The men were sleeping except for two positioned at each end of the gully to watch for any sign of trouble. He lifted the hood of the cloak and lowered his head before walking boldly into the center of the camp. The guards jumped up drawing their swords. “Declare yourself,” one of them said. Merlin saw Gavin sleeping up against the tree wrapped in a heavy blanket. He smiled and then turned to the guards. “Forgive my intrusion, I am a Druid, separated from my people,” Merlin said. “Be on your way then,” the taller of the guards growled. “I will, but first, may I warm myself by your fire?” “You may not!” Merlin shook his head and then lowered his hood. The guards rushed him, but he raised one hand and shouted a word. They hit a wall of magic and froze, their eyes wide with fear . Merlin felt movement behind him and turned as their sorcerer threw a spell at him. Almost as soon as the spell was cast the man froze as he recognized Merlin. “I know you! Merlin, isn’ t it…” “Alvarr ,” Merlin smirked. “You…you have magic!” “I was born with it.” “Are you him…are you Emrys?” Merlin shrugged, “Might be.” “What do you want? There is nothing here for you.” “Oh, you see there is. Y ou and your men kidnapped someone very important to me.” Alvarr looked over at the sleeping child. “It is not of my doing. Their orders came from someone in Deorham…from King Alined’ s court.” “Working for a warmonger king who prospers of f the backs of dead soldiers?” Merlin glanced around, “Casting sleeping spells on a frightened little boy . You should be ashamed of yourself.” “You have no right to judge me…you protected the Pendragons,” Alvarr hissed closing the distance between them, “If you are truly the great Emrys why do you care about one young prince?” “Because I was born to serve the Once and Future King and you have taken his son. I cannot allow you to get away with that. I just spent the last three years in A valon, I am stronger now than I ever was before. If you want to live you will walk away and let me take him home to Camelot.” “Even if I do, they will not allow you to do that,” Alvarr smiled smugly nodding to the now wide-awake mercenaries surrounding Merlin. “They will be more than happy to send you back to A valon.” Merlin’ s smile grew , “I’d like to see them try .” Alvarr ’s eyes flashed, and Merlin uttered a word throwing his arms out to the side. Every man in the camp except Alvarr dropped dead where they stood causing the latter ’s face to turn a few shades paler as he realized the truth. “Emrys,” Alvarr said, “Please, do not harm me. W e are the same…” Merlin shook his head, “No, I am nothing like you. T o take an innocent child from his father . Using Mor gana all those years ago the way you did. Corrupting Mordred. I should kill you, but I am going to do something far worse and allow you to live, only without the one thing that makes you the monster you are. Y our magic. “No, please!” Alvarr shouted bringing his arms up. Merlin raised a hand and shouted a spell his eyes turning silver . Alvarr fell to the ground as his magic was ripped from his chest, shot into the air , and scattered like falling stars over the land as he cried and begged. When Merlin finished, he released him. “There now you will know what it is like to be powerless and frightened,” Merlin said coldly , “Get up, run away…now!” Alvarr scrambled to his feet and ran into the woods without another word or even a glance back. Merlin then turned and gathered Gavin up in his arms uttering a spell to wake him. The boy looked so much like Arthur it brought tears to his eyes. He smiled, gently caressing his cheek as his eyes fluttered open. “Merlin?” he asked. “Yes,” Merlin nodded, “Are you hurt?” “You really came for me,” Gavin said. “Of course,” Merlin grinned, “Y ou have magic.” “Like you,” the boy said, “My father…told me you were gone.” “I was, but I’m not anymore. What do you say we get you back to him?” “He’ s far away ,” Gavin said his eyes welling up with tears. “We will find him…I found you, didn’ t I?” Merlin grinned, hugging him close and the boy wrapped his arms around his neck. “Hunith tried to stop the bad men from taking me. They hit her ,” Gavin choked, his little body trembling. Merlin’ s eyes widened, “My mother was with you and Arthur?” “She takes care of me,” Gavin nodded, “W e were going to see Killy ‘cause I can do things.” “Killy?” Merlin asked with a grin. The thought of Kilgharrah allowing Gavin to call him that was quite amusing. “W ell, don’ t you worry , my mum is a tough woman. I am certain she is fine.” “She tells me stories about you,” Gavin smiled through his tears. Merlin laughed as he sat the boy down by the fire to warm his hands and check him over for injuries finding only a few cuts and bruises, “I’m sure she does.” He whispered a word and the ropes fell away from his wrists and ankles. “There, you’re free now .” “You’re really not gone anymore?” “I’m here, Gavin. I do not know how , but your magic and mine are the same. It called me home.” “I’m glad…father misses you.” “And I missed him so much.” “Can you stay with us now?” Merlin had no idea whether he would be able to or not. W as this temporary or was he back for good? W as he immortal again? It was obvious that his magic was much stronger than before. “I’m not sure it is up to me, but I want to.” “Please stay…” Gavin said softly . “Come on, let’ s get you back to Arthur .” Gavin wrapped his arms around Merlin as he picked the exhausted boy up resting him on his hip. Reaching out with his magic he felt Arthur and smiled. “He’ s not far , he’s looking for you,” he said, and Gavin buried his face in the crook of Merlin’ s neck. “Sleep little one, you’re safe now .” He smiled and then headed west, his magic guiding them through the woods. Arthur was barely able to focus, stumbling over the rough ground holding onto the reins of his horse. His vision blurred and he had not eaten anything. Once his men had arrived at the clearing, he sent Hunith back with Leon. Gwaine and Percival were fanned out on either side of him. They had been searching in the darkness all night using torches carried by his soldiers to light the way . The magical fog lingered, and Kilgharrah flew overhead searching the countryside, but even he was exhausted, so Arthur sent him away . The dragon had reluctantly left, clearly worried about Gavin. It was so strange to think about a magical creature being such an important part of their lives now . His father would definitely have something to say about that. “Arthur ,” Gwaine said handing him a waterskin and a hunk of dried meat, “Y ou look like you are going to drop any minute. Y ou need to rest and eat, drink some water .” “Cannot rest until I find my son,” Arthur shook his head. “Gwaine’ s right,” Percival said as he approached, “Y ou’re not going to be able to fight if you can’t even stand up.” “He’ s alone and cold…surrounded by strangers,” Arthur said then forced himself to take a drink of water and a bite of the meat, “I can’ t stop.” He handed the waterskin back to Gwaine and started walking forward again. Gwaine and Percival looked at each other both feeling helpless. Their king…their friend was hurting and lost. He would push himself to his limits to get Gavin back. And what if the worst happened? Arthur had already lost Merlin and Gwen…to lose Gavin would kill him. Arthur crouched down looking at a track in the torchlight. The men who took Gavin had split into three groups and they had no idea which of the three had him. For all he knew they could be following the wrong tracks and Gavin could be miles in the opposite direction. “Gavin,” Arthur choked, dropping to his knees, and lowered his head. “What is that?” Gwaine asked and Arthur looked up turning to see where he was looking. The fog seemed to be alive, swirling and dancing through the trees like spirits, ghosts of the dead, silent and eerie. A bluish-white glow illuminated the trees, pushing back the fog. Arthur ’s heart stuttered, that light… He got to his feet as a hooded figure emer ged from the woods, wrapped in a heavy gray cloak. Percival and Gwaine drew their swords, but Arthur waved a hand. “Stand down,” the king said as he walked toward the figure. “My Lord,” Percival said. “They mean us no harm.” “How can you be so sure?” Gwaine asked. “Call it a funny feeling,” Arthur said then sheathed his own sword. He watched as the figure stopped walking. He drew back his cloak revealing a sleepy but very much alive Gavin. “Oh, my God, Gavin!” The figure put Gavin down on the ground as Arthur dropped to his knees. “Father!” Gavin yelled and ran toward him. “Thank the Gods,” Arthur dropped to his knees gathering him into his embrace holding him kissing his cheek and forehead, stroking his hair checking him over for injuries. “My boy ,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Don’ t cry, father ,” Gavin said, hugging his neck. “I’m so sorry ,” Arthur said holding him tightly . He looked up at the hooded figure who was still standing a few yards away . “Thank you, whoever you are…for bringing my boy back. How will I ever repay you? Y ou shall receive a reward, anything you want…name it…land, gold, anything.” “I’d settle for my old job back,” the figure said then slowly lowered his hood. “Holy…” Gwaine said, his mouth dropping open in shock. Arthur stared at the man before him, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Merlin?” Merlin gave him a wide grin, “Hello, Arthur…” “Merlin…you’re alive!” Arthur scrambled to his feet bringing Gavin with him. “My God, you’re back! How?” he asked shaking his head as he closed the distance between them. “I’m not exactly sure, but it was Gavin. His magic…I do not know how , but it is part of my own. It…he called to me, brought me back and I was able to find him. The men who took him are all dead except Alvarr . I let him live, but without his magic. Personal experience taught me that is a fate worse than death.” Arthur shook his head, “As glad as I am to hear that, right now I just want to look at you.” Merlin chuckled, “Are you saying you’re glad to see me?” “Gods, yes,” Arthur grinned, “W elcome home, Merlin.” He put his arm around Merlin’ s neck and kissed his temple as they walked back toward Gwaine and Percival who were grinning from ear to ear . “Boys, we have Gavin, and we have Merlin back.” “Merlin!” Gwaine said and he stepped forward embracing him tightly , cupping the back of his head, “It is so damn good to see you, my friend.” “You too, Gwaine,” Merlin grinned then turned to Percival who wrapped him in a bear hug that made it dif ficult to breathe. “Merlin, we missed you,” he said as he drew back finally releasing him. “It is good to have you back, brother .” “It’s good to be back.” Arthur looked at Gavin smiling and kissed his cheek. “Set up camp for the night,” he told the men and they hurried to do as he ordered. Merlin reached out to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “He looks like you,” he grinned. “I know , poor child,” Arthur smirked. “Are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am now , thanks to you. I will never be able to repay all you have done for me, Merlin.” “Then it’ s a good thing you don’ t have to.” “I’m hungry ,” Gavin said tucking his face into Arthur ’s neck. “Then let’ s get you something to eat.” Arthur tucked Gavin into his bedroll wrapping him up warmly and kissing the top of his head. Merlin sat by the fire watching with a crooked grin. “What?” Arthur asked. “Nothing, just you’re pretty good at that.” Arthur sat down next to Merlin, “Y es, well, considering who my father was it is a miracle.” “You were always better than your father ,” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him intently and shook his head, “I can’ t believe you’re here.” “Neither can I. One minute I was in A valon the next I was back…naked on the shore and completely disoriented and weak. I don’ t know how I am even me…my body .” “How do you feel now?” Arthur asked. Merlin smiled, “Happy .” “What was it like…A valon?” “Beautiful, peaceful, surreal…lonely…” Merlin frowned. “You were all alone?” “I chose to be,” he said. “Why would you?” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin…” “I guess I just felt like I didn’ t belong in the next world any more than I belonged in this one.” “Merlin, that’ s not true…” Merlin looked into Arthur ’s eyes and smiled, “It really is. Y ou saw the truth in the Crystal Cave. Y ou know what I have done…the people I hurt and killed. I am sorry for lying to you all those years. I wanted to tell you so much. Y ou were the one person I wanted to see me for who I truly was and to accept me fully .” “I see you now , and I do accept you. Gods, Merlin, I am so damn happy to have you back,” Arthur smiled. “And you brought my son back to me.” “Did you really kiss me?” Merlin asked with a raised eyebrow , “Percival told me that after I died you kissed me.” Arthur blushed and nodded, “I did.” “Sorry I missed it,” Merlin huf fed a laugh. “Really?” “Only time I ever got a real hug from you was when I was under Mor gana’ s control and cannot even remember it. Then you wait until I am dead to kiss me,” he grinned. “I never knew you wanted…” “Yes, well, you were always a bit thick,” Merlin chuckled. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “It’s all right, I always knew you loved Gwen, and she loved you. All that mattered to me was that you were happy and safe and that you would be the king that Camelot needed.” “Yes, but you needed me too and I wasn’ t there for you.” Merlin shook his head slowly , “It doesn’ t matter now .” “It really does,” Arthur said, “Everything you did for me…it was not out of duty or for some prophecy , it was out of love. Y ou sacrificed yourself for me.” “And I would do it all over again.” “I know you would and before you go and do something so foolish again, I want you to know that I love you…I love you, Merlin.” Merlin’ s head shot up as he met Arthur ’s gaze. His lips parted wordlessly , and Arthur laughed. “Speechless, are you?” he asked. “Arthur…” “I should have told you before, but I was an idiot and scared. I meant what I said in the Crystal Cave. Y ou are the other half of my soul; you always were, and you always will be.” Merlin smiled, “T wo sides of the same coin…” Arthur reached up placing his hand on Merlin’ s face, his thumb brushing lightly over his cheekbone. “It’s time I do this properly ,” he said then leaned forward pressing his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender searching kiss. Merlin kissed him back a tear slipping from his eye. Arthur drew back brushing it away with his thumb. “Are you okay?” he asked, and Merlin nodded. “Just never thought…” he said with a hitch in his voice as he averted his gaze looking over at the others around another fire. “Arthur , I don’ t know if this is permanent…if I can even stay.” Arthur nodded, “Then I do not want to waste a single moment with you. Merlin, I want you to return with us to Camelot. Y ou can do or have anything you want. Y ou can take over as physician. Y our mother has been doing both Gaius’ job and taking care of Gavin. I would have been lost without her these last three years.” “Gaius,” Merlin said softly his eyes filled with sadness. “You did know…” “Yeah, I saw him when he passed over into A valon. He tried to talk me into going through with him, but I stayed where I was.” “Losing you, Gwen, and Gaius…it was a rough few years. And Geof frey too.” “Geof frey died?” Merlin asked. “Yes, shortly after Gaius. I still have not replaced him either .” “Arthur , I want to stay with you and Gavin,” Merlin said, “As long as I am able.” “You said Gavin’ s magic is like yours?” “It is.” “Makes sense,” Arthur nodded, “Gwen was already pregnant when you did what you did to destroy Mor gana. Y our magic was released. It healed me and Kilgharrah and brought Gwaine back from the dead. It is possible that it somehow reached Gwen and our unborn child.” “I did not know it would do that. I just knew that the spell was my only chance of saving you.” “You said Mor gana was with you?” “She was, she passed over into A valon as well. It took her a long time to come to terms with everything that happened. She was certain that she belonged in hell, but I told her that it was not her fault, that it was Mor gause. W e forgave each other and she moved on…she is with Mordred now .” Arthur nodded, “Mordred, he didn’ t deserve his fate either .” Merlin lowered his head, “If I had followed my heart and helped him and Mor gana…” “Merlin, enough now , what’ s done is done. I do not want to waste any more time dwelling on the past. I have my son, I have you and I am high king over all of Albion. All five kingdoms united under one rule, peace and prosperity , and freedom. None of it would be possible without you.” “All I did was keep your arse alive,” Merlin grinned. “You really want your old job back?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Yes, unless you already have a servant of course.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I haven’ t had a servant since you died. Other than the basic duties. Y ou always said I needed to learn to do things for myself. So, I did.” “Amazing,” Merlin laughed, “Y ou dress yourself and everything?” “I even do my own laundry .” “Oh, now I know you are lying,” Merlin chuckled. “Ok, I send my laundry out to be done,” Arthur shrugged, “But I get myself up in the morning. Of course, my speeches are not as good as the ones you wrote for me.” “If you no longer have need of a manservant perhaps, I could take over Gaius and Geof frey’ s jobs and begin to rebuild the collection of magic books now that you have lifted the ban.” “That would be good,” Arthur nodded, “Perhaps you could write your own books to hopefully begin to undo the damage my father did. So, people will understand that magic is not evil.” Merlin looked at his king with tears in his eyes, “I used to dream of the day that you would see the good in magic…to be free to use the gifts I was born with.” “You are free now , Merlin. I will give you anything you want, just ask.” “Right now , I think you should get some sleep,” Merlin smiled, “Y ou’re exhausted.” “I am, I guess I’m just afraid I’ll fall asleep and wake up and you will be gone.” “Sleep, Arthur , I promise I will be here when you wake.” “You should rest too.” “I have been resting for more than three years. I am enjoying the feeling of being alive again. I think I will go join the others for some food.” “You’ll come back,” Arthur said. “I will,” Merlin smiled and then started to get to his feet, but Arthur took hold of his wrist. “Merlin…I just want to do things right this time. I don’ t want to deny my feelings anymore. But I will not do anything unless it is what you want too. The last thing I want to do is hurt you again.” “Arthur , I want to be with you. It is all I have ever wanted.” Arthur drew him close and kissed Merlin again, “Good because now that I’ve kissed you…I don’t think I can stop.” “Mmm, I wholeheartedly consent,” Merlin grinned then kissed him back. “Now get some sleep, Sire. Physician’ s orders.” Arthur laughed and then laid down on his bedroll next to Gavin. Merlin waved a hand and covered him with a blanket. His eyes flashed and the fire grew warmer . He then got up and walked over to where Gwaine and Percival were sitting around the fire pretending they had not been watching them the entire time. “May I join you?” Merlin asked and Gwaine grinned. “Merlin, damn it is good to see you,” he said pulling him down to sit on the log next to him, “Are you all right?” “I’m good I think,” Merlin nodded, “Still trying to get my bearings. Nothing like having your soul yanked out of A valon and slammed back into a somehow reformed body to leave you feeling a bit disoriented and overwhelmed.” “I cannot even imagine…” Percival said shaking his head. “Is there any food left?” Merlin asked. “Lots…here you go,” Gwaine said and handed Merlin a plate of stew and some bread, “It is not as good as yours. I missed your cooking.” “How’ s Arthur?” Percival asked. “Exhausted, but relieved to have his son,” Merlin said. “How on earth did you find him?” Gwaine asked. “He called to me, his magic…Arthur thinks that what I did, my magic being released somehow it found its way to Gavin while Gwen was pregnant.” “That’ s possible,” Gwaine nodded, “It brought me back from the dead. Who knows what else it did? Thank you, by the way .” “You’re welcome,” Merlin grinned. “You and Arthur…” Percival said raising an eyebrow . “We’ll see…I am not even sure that this is permanent.” “Avalon is not getting you back without a fight,” Gwaine said his voice rough, “Not losing you again. Even if I have to of fer myself up to appease the Goddess.” “I’ll never let you do that for me. Gwaine, you should know , I met your father ,” Merlin smiled, “He said he is very proud of you.” “My father?” Gwaine asked, tears filling his eyes, “He knows…” Merlin nodded, “I told him all about you. I used my magic to let him see you.” “Thank you, Merlin, that means a lot.” “Apparently , he and my father knew each other when they were young boys.” “Really?” Gwaine asked, “Guess that explains why you and I got on so well from the moment we met. I felt a connection to you.” “Being in A valon many things became so clear ,” Merlin said. “What do you mean?” Percival asked. Merlin glanced over at Arthur , “I met Arthur ’s mother .” “What was she like?” Gwaine asked. “Beautiful, sweet, loving, she had me tell her everything about Arthur and she told me the truth about Uther and what he did. She was happy and relieved to know that he was safe and happy .” “Did you tell Arthur?” Percival asked. “Not yet,” Merlin shook his head, “I will though. He is exhausted, I want him to rest. I am going to take over Gaius’ position as physician and Geof frey’ s position as librarian.” “Arthur never even bothered to replace you,” Gwaine said, “No one measured up. Though I think it had more to do with grief and loneliness than anything else. He really struggled after losing you, Merlin. It changed him. Then he lost Gwen and if it had not been for Gavin…” “I did not think my death would af fect him like that. What is the life of a servant compared to that of a king? W e were friends but I thought he would be all right in time.” Percival and Gwaine looked at each other knowingly . “Merlin, anyone who spent any time at all around you and Arthur knew that there was some deeper bond. Y ou were far more to him than a servant or even friend,” Percival said. “Arthur told me things after your death,” Gwaine said, “Things I will not repeat because it is not my place to do so. Merlin, you have this second chance you need to talk to him…really talk. Get him to tell you himself. And by the Gods, do not let anything or anyone come between you again.” “Yes,” Merlin nodded, “I just wish I knew what all of this means. If I am back permanently or if I was released from A valon just to help Gavin.” “There is someone who might be able to tell you,” Gwaine said then looked up to the sky . “If my Dragonlord gift still works. When my father died it passed to me. When I died, I had no son for it to go to.” “Only one way to find out,” Percival smiled. “If not, then Arthur can call him,” Gwaine said. “Arthur?” Merlin asked eyebrows lifting. “Through his sword, he can call Kilgharrah,” Percival nodded. “Yeah, he and old Killy have a bond and Gavin just loves the giant lizard. Kilgharrah helped in the search until he was ready to drop from the sky . Arthur sent him away to rest. The dragon missed you too, Merlin,” Gwaine said. “I will call him in the morning, before we leave for Camelot,” Merlin said, “I should also check on Aithusa. God knows where she is now , what happened to her after Camlann.” “Aithusa?” Percival asked. “The white dragon…the egg I rescued from the T omb of Ashkanar and hatched,” Merlin grinned. “So that’ s where Mor gana got the dragon,” the lar ger man said. “Yes, I was so focused on protecting Arthur that I abandoned her and Mor gana…” Merlin said, his voice trailing of f and he let out a rough breath. “I made so many mistakes.” “And you did so much good as well, Merlin. Always remember that,” Gwaine embraced him then drew back, patting his cheek. “This is a new beginning, my friend. Let go of the past and live now or you will miss out on so much. When you brought me back from the dead, I was so damn grateful for a fresh start. A chance to do better , and I think I have.” Percival nodded then chuckled, “Still drinks too much though.” “That doesn’ t surprise me,” Merlin laughed. “We can’ t all be perfect,” Gwaine laughed heartily then he looked into Merlin’ s eyes, his mirth fading, “It is really good to have you back, Merlin. How do you feel…I mean do you feel like you?” Merlin shook his head, “It is hard to explain. I mean, this body is mine, but all the scars are gone. Is it strange that I miss them?” “Not strange at all,” Percival said, “Y ou earned every one of them. They told your story .” “I don’ t even know if I am still immortal. My magic is more powerful.” “Well, I think it is safe to say you are still human,” Gwaine said, “Y ou can still be hurt, Merlin. So, maybe this time, you will be a little more careful and not take so many risks.” Merlin smiled, “Let’ s hope I won’ t have reason to this time around.” “What do you think Arthur will do to Alined…his son?” Percival asked. “Unless we can find absolute proof that they were involved in Gavin’ s kidnapping there is little he can do. He cannot accuse them without it, or we will have a war on our hands,” Gwaine said. “I let Alvarr go, he might have provided proof,” Merlin frowned. “Not likely ,” Percival shook his head, “The traitor Magne, he is our only link and he’ s dead.” “There has to be someone else, someone who knew Arthur planned to visit Kilgharrah and that Gavin would be with him,” Gwaine said. “Then we need to find out who it was,” Merlin said. “Tomorrow…right now , we need sleep,” Percival smiled then reached out to squeeze Merlin’ s shoulder . “W elcome home, Merlin.” He got up and moved over to his bedroll flopped down on it and let out a sigh closing his eyes. “You should sleep too, Gwaine,” Merlin said. “Aren’ t you tired? “A little, I guess.” “Are you sure you’re okay?” “Yeah, it’ s just a lot…” “Here’ s a bedroll for you, go get some rest. W e have a long ride back to Camelot tomorrow and you are going to cause quite a stir when we get there.” “The people probably won’ t even remember me,” Merlin said accepting the spare bedroll. “Wait and see,” Gwaine winked then laid down on his own bedroll, “Good night, Merlin.” “Good night, Gwaine,” Merlin hesitated for a moment then got up walking back over to where Arthur and Gavin were sleeping. He laid out his bedroll then sat down by the fire and added more wood. He glanced over at Arthur and smiled as he saw Gavin curled up in his father ’s arms, both sleeping soundly . With a whispered word he adjusted the blanket over them, and Arthur stirred, his eyes fluttering open. “Gavin,” he whispered reassuring himself that his son was still there. He then looked at Merlin with a smile, “Merlin…” “Go back to sleep, Arthur . I am not going anywhere,” Merlin grinned. “Sorry , I didn’ t mean to wake you.” “Are you all right?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Y ou all keep asking me that. I’m good…really .” “Come here, Merlin,” Arthur said rolling onto his back, holding his hand out. “Arthur?” “Come here, please,” Arthur reached over and pulled Merlin’ s bedroll closer , “Lay down.” “Yes, Y our Majesty ,” Merlin grinned and sat down taking of f his boots and cloak then Arthur tugged his sleeve sliding an arm around his shoulder and drawing him close, covering him with part of the blanket. “Just let me hold you,” Arthur said softly . Merlin did not ar gue he let out a breath and shifted onto his side resting his head on Arthur ’s shoulder . He smiled and Arthur ran his fingers through his hair . “There, much better .” “You sure this is a good idea,” Merlin grinned. “Yes, Merlin. Now go to sleep.” Merlin closed his eyes, listening to the beating of Arthur ’s heart. He felt the warmth of his breath and wondered for a moment if they could really be like this from now on. Could they really be together the way he always wanted, but never thought possible? “You’re thinking, Merlin,” Arthur said sleepily . “Sorry…” “Everything will be all right.” “If you say so, Sire.” “I do and I’m the king, so I am always right.” Merlin lifted his head to look into Arthur ’s eyes. “Are you ever going to change?” “No, you’d get bored,” Arthur grinned drawing Merlin’ s head back down, “Sleep.” Homecoming Arthur woke up to Gavin patting his cheek. “Father , wake up.” “I’m awake,” Arthur said looking around his heart jumped as he realized Merlin was not there. His boots and cloak were gone. W as he gone? “Merlin!” “Merlin is going to call Killy ,” Gavin smiled. Arthur sat up, slipped on his boots, grabbed his jacket, and got to his feet. He scooped up Gavin and carried him through their camp. Merlin was standing in a clearing with his cloak on, the hood down. His dark hair sticking up. “Merlin?” Arthur asked. Merlin turned to look at him, eyes shining with tears, and shook his head, “What if it doesn’ t work? What if I have lost that part of me…the only thing I had of my father?” “You won’ t know until you try , Merlin,” Arthur shook his head shifting Gavin’ s weight onto his hip. “Go ahead.” Merlin nodded wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his cloak and took a deep breath. “Here goes,” he said, then tilting his head back he focused and let out a roar followed by the ancient words he knew so well. His magic sur ged carrying the call higher and further over the land. “It worked…at least I think it did,” he turned to look at Arthur who was staring at him in awe. “Merlin, that was incredible,” the king said. “Can I do that?” Gavin asked with a giggle. “Afraid not, little one,” Merlin grinned. It was several minutes before they heard the familiar sound of leathery wings in the air . Kilgharrah circled and then landed with a thud, bowing his head to Merlin. “Young W arlock, you have returned,” the dragon said his eyes bright. “Hello, old friend,” Merlin said, “I was not sure you would hear me. If I had lost my Dragonlord gift when I died.” “Your Dragonlord power is yours, Merlin, a part of your soul,” Kilgharrah said with a toothy smile, “I missed you.” “I missed you too,” Merlin said, “I need to know if this is permanent. W ill I live now , or must I return to A valon?” “You will live, Merlin, you are once again needed in this world. Not only to protect Arthur but to help Gavin learn to use and control his magic.” “His magic…did it come from Merlin, because of what he did that day?” “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon said, “When Merlin’ s magic was released, it absorbed and transformed Mor gana’ s eclipsing her darkness, purifying her in a way , as she died. It healed you and I and as you know brought Sir Gwaine back from the dead. Gavin is a special child, for not only is he the son of the Once and Future King, who himself was born of magic, but he is the balance. For when Merlin died the world needed him to be that balance. T o keep magic alive in the world until such time that Merlin would return to guide him.” “Is that what happened during the Great Pur ge?” Arthur asked. “Yes, it resulted in rampant magic with no balance. That balance was Merlin. Born into the world to both contain and sustain the magic. He was born with magic as you were born of magic, two sides of the same coin.” “Balance,” Merlin said looking at Arthur intently . Kilgharrah nodded, “Y ou may have defied the prophecies, Y oung W arlock, but prophecy always finds a way in the end. Y ou altered the path, and they merely found a new route to the same destination.” Arthur smiled, “Then Merlin can stay…he’ s home for good?” “He is,” Kilgharrah nodded. “And my immortality?” Merlin asked. “That part of the prophecy no longer exists because Arthur did not die, and you have returned. So, that I cannot answer .” “Who can?” Arthur asked. “Perhaps you can summon the Goddess herself for answers,” Kilgharrah said. “Maybe one day , right now I am just glad to be alive and back with the people I love.” “Killy ,” Gavin giggled, and Arthur placed him on the ground. Kilgharrah chuckled and lowered his head. “I am so relieved to see you are safe, little prince.” “Thank you for all you did, Kilgharrah,” Arthur said, “I owe you a great debt.” “It is I who owed you a debt for the crimes I committed against Camelot long ago. I was blinded by rage and sought revenge against your father . I should never have attacked the innocent.” Arthur nodded, “Y ou helped the kingdom as well, Kilgharrah. And I cannot honestly say that, if I had been kept prisoner in that cavern for twenty years, I would not have done the same.” “Kilgharrah, do you know where Aithusa is? Is she alive?” Merlin asked. “She is alive, your magic healed her as well. She is no longer deformed and crippled and lives in the White Mountains.” “Does—does she hate me?” “No, Y oung W arlock, she could never hate you. Y ou brought her into the world…called her from her egg. Y ou are her Dragonlord.” “And I abandoned her ,” Merlin said his voice edged with regret and sadness. “Aithusa understands. I am certain if you call for her , she will come to you.” “Perhaps I will go to her one day ,” Merlin smiled. “I am certain she would be pleased to see you. For now , you need to focus on settling back into your life here in Camelot. Much has changed since you died. Y ou are needed.” “Thank you, Kilgharrah for everything,” Arthur nodded. “You are most welcome, Great King,” the dragon bowed, “I must go now . It is so good to have you back Merlin. Enjoy this life.” “I will,” Merlin smiled, and they watched as he launched into the air and circled overhead a few times before flying away . Then he turned to Arthur and laughed, “I think that is the first time I ever heard him give a straight answer . All I ever got before were riddles.” Arthur nodded, “W e spoke a lot after you died. He told me how much he regretted some of the decisions he made. That he should have told you everything from the beginning.” “I’m not certain it would have made a dif ference,” Merlin shook his head. “Are you ready to go home?” Arthur asked?” “Gods, yes,” Merlin grinned. “Pack up, men, let’ s get back to Camelot,” Arthur ordered. They rode into the square a few hours later and Merlin’ s eyes lit up as he saw his home for the first time in over three years. Arthur smiled as he watched him take it all in. The city and the lower town had expanded a great deal in the time he was gone. Much lar ger and nicer houses had replaced tiny hovels and huts. Gwen’ s house had been expanded and fixed up for Hunith because she felt more comfortable there than in the palace. Though she did have a room in Gavin’ s chambers. The people came out of their houses to greet their king and the young prince as they returned. They had all been devastated to hear that Gavin had been taken, they were relieved, and overjoyed to have him back home. But it was Merlin who created the most jubilation. Arthur grinned as the people began to notice him and started calling out his name. Merlin! Merlin has r eturned! Merlin! He is back! Merlin is home! “I don’ t understand…I didn’ t expect…” Merlin shook his head and looked at Arthur . “I promised to honor you and your sacrifices for me and for Camelot.” “You did,” Merlin’ s eyes narrowed, and his eyebrows raised, “What did you do?” “Well, it started with the celebration outside the walls after you died, people came from all around including royalty . Annis and Mithian and so many others who wanted to remember you and to honor your sacrifice and to say their goodbyes to a young man they had always known was special. I got to hear endless stories of people you had helped…people you had saved. It turned into a yearly celebration growing lar ger every time. Druids came here to tell the stories of the great Emrys,” Arthur smiled, “Y ou believed people would have for gotten about you, but Merlin, you touched far too many lives for that to happen. Y our people love you.” “My people,” Merlin said softly , shaking his head. “Your people, Merlin. They have held out hope for your return and now here you are,” Arthur grinned. “But I don’ t deserve…” “Yes, you do.” Riding up to the steps they dismounted. Merlin was immediately swarmed by people. Hunith came down the steps with Leon and they both froze seeing who was at the center of the commotion. “Merlin!” Hunith cried out and ran down the steps the crowd parted to let her through, “My God, Merlin! Y ou’re home!” she choked back tears as she threw her arms around his neck holding him so tight. Merlin had tears in his eyes rocking her gently . “Mother ,” he said, his voice breaking. “My beautiful boy ,” Hunith gasped cupping his cheek, “Y ou’re really here.” “I am, mother , I love you,” Merlin grinned then hugged her tighter . Arthur climbed the steps with Gavin in his arms and looked around at all the people. He smiled and called out over the crowd, “Please, give Merlin some time to adjust and to spend with his mother . I promise in the coming days we will have a celebration. Spread the word and join us in welcoming home Camelot’ s most beloved servant, friend, and warlock…as it was he who rescued Prince Gavin and returned him to me.” The people cheered and chanted Merlin’ s name as they patted his back and shoulder and slowly moved away leaving him standing with his mother his eyes wide and his mouth open in stunned silence uncertain what to say . “Merlin,” Arthur said then motioned for him and Hunith to follow . Leon met Merlin halfway up the steps, “Merlin…” “Sir Leon,” Merlin smiled. “It’s really you,” the knight said shaking his head then with a wide grin he embraced Merlin cupping the back of his head. “Thank the Gods, you were missed around here, brother .” “I wasn’ t expecting this reception,” Merlin chuckled, and Leon smiled. “Best prepare yourself then because there is more to come.” “He’ s right, Merlin,” Hunith beamed. “I guess I’m just not used to everyone knowing who I really am…what I’ve done.” Gwaine and Percival came up the steps behind them. Gwaine put an arm around Merlin, “And you said people wouldn’ t remember you.” “Come along,” Hunith said taking Gavin from Arthur , “Let’ s get you boys fed and this little one needs a bath and sleep.” “Thank you, Hunith,” Arthur said then kissed Gavin’ s head. “I need to go with Arthur first,” Merlin said. “Very well, it is so good to have you back.” “I love you, mother .” Arthur headed up the steps and Merlin followed him. He glanced back at Merlin and grinned. “What?” Merlin asked. “Nothing, just so damn happy ,” Arthur said then he grabbed the sleeve of Merlin’ s cloak and pulled him into the empty council chambers, and shut the door . “I know it is a lot and you are feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Merlin, I want…” Merlin silenced him with a deep kiss, his hands tugging Arthur closer . “Overwhelm me, please,” he said huskily , and Arthur deepened the kiss. “Gods, Merlin,” Arthur whispered against his lips. “You really want me,” Merlin said. “Yes…” Arthur moaned kissing him deeper and harder his hand sliding around to the back of Merlin’ s neck holding him there as he backed him up against the door . “Always, Merlin…” “Ah, Arthur ,” Merlin gasped tipping his head back and Arthur chuckled. “Sorry , I got a bit carried away .” “No, I started it,” he grinned. Arthur looked into his eyes, “Merlin, did you ever…were you ever with anyone?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “When did I have time? Besides, there was always only you, and if I couldn’ t have you then I didn’ t want anyone. I loved Freya, but that was doomed from the start.” “I’m so sorry ,” Arthur said pressing his forehead to Merlin’ s. Merlin smiled, “Don’ t be.” “I am going to do everything in my power to make it up to you, Merlin. I promise you.” “I understand if you don’ t want to be together in public.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, I want everyone to know what you mean to me. What you have always meant to me. I wish I had known how you felt about me.” “It wouldn’ t have mattered,” Merlin said. “I do know one thing,” Arthur said, “If I had known how you felt about me, I am not sure I could have resisted. I was always so afraid…scared that if I had approached you, you would give yourself to me out of duty only and nothing more. I could not bear to use you in such a way.” “Arthur , I am yours, I have always been yours,” Merlin grinned kissing him tenderly . “And I am yours, Merlin.” A knock on the door startled them and they laughed. Merlin stepped aside and Arthur opened the door and the room filled with the people of the court ready for their king to inform them of the events of the past couple of days. Arthur moved to the front of the room and told everyone what happened. “We should retaliate against King Alined,” one of the lords spoke up. “I have reason to believe that it was not King Alined, but his son, Prince Amren who orchestrated the kidnapping. He is bitter and angry that I now have dominion over the kingdom he is due to inherit once Alined is gone,” Arthur said. “As he sees it, his father signed away his birthright to me. In taking Gavin, I believe he wanted to force my hand and start a war . I will not give him the war he wants. I will send a messenger to Deorham to inform the king what his son has done and let him decide what shall be done. My son is safe thanks to Merlin,” Arthur smiled meeting Merlin’ s gaze then motioned for him to join him. Merlin held his head high as he moved to stand next to his king causing gasps and muttering from the court. “As you can see, Merlin has returned. He rescued Gavin and returned him to me. Y et again proving his love and loyalty to Camelot. There will be many changes in the upcoming days. You should all be aware that my relationship with Merlin has also changed. I love him deeply and he loves me.” The gasps of surprise and some of disgust came from the court and Arthur looked at them intently . “If any of you have a problem with that, I will be more than happy to relieve you of your position in this court.” “Your majesty , you married a servant, but this…Merlin is…” a man spoke up his voice trembling. “Merlin is what?” Arthur asked his eyes narrowing. “Merlin’ s a sorcerer and, Sire, he’ s a man…” “Thank you for pointing that out, Lord Bishop, I was not aware,” Arthur glared at him, and the others smiled awkwardly . Merlin had to stifle a laugh. “Merlin is also the other half of my soul. He has given everything for me and Camelot. From now on you will show him the same respect as you show me. I am your king. Do not for get that and do not question me again. I have hidden my feelings for Merlin out of duty for far too long. I love him and we are going to be together .” “Yes, My Lord,” Lord Bishop bowed, “I apologize, please for give me.” “Good,” Arthur grinned, “If that is all you are dismissed.” After they all left Merlin turned to Arthur and lost it. He laughed so hard, and Arthur joined in. “The look on his face,” Merlin chuckled nearly doubling over in laughter , “Like he was sucking on a pickled egg.” Arthur pulled Merlin close and kissed him, “It is good to hear you laugh like that again. I missed it. I missed seeing your smile.” “But Y our Majesty , I am a man,” Merlin deadpanned then busted up laughing again. “A very beautiful and intoxicating man,” Arthur said cupping his cheek. “Can I ask you something?” “Yes…anything.” “I cannot help but feel like us being together is disrespectful to Gwen. I feel like I am betraying her . Are you sure?” “Merlin, Guinevere knew…I told her . After you died, I told her what you meant to me. She already knew . I think she would be happy for us. I think she would want us to be together .” “You told her , and she wasn’ t upset?” “Not at all. She understood because a part of her would always love Lancelot the way part of me would always love you. She loved you too, Merlin.” Merlin nodded, tears in his eyes, “I am glad…I would never want. And Gavin…” “Gavin loved you even before he met you. I told him everything about you and our adventures together .” Merlin smiled, “Y ou did.” “Yes, I am required to tell him one of our stories before bed every night before he goes to sleep.” “Maybe I could tell him a story sometime.” “I guarantee he will be demanding just that.” “Can we really do this? Be together…be a family?” “Is that what you want?” Arthur asked softly and Merlin nodded. “More than anything.” “Then that is what you shall have.” “Um, I should see about sorting out the physician’ s chambers and my old room. And if you still want me to take over Geof frey’ s duties as well…the library probably needs cleaning and organizing. Then there is the secret room…” “Secret room?” Arthur asked raising an eyebrow . “Yeah, the room where I found and released the Goblin.” “Ah yes, I remember that all too well.” “There are magic books in there that need to be collected and cataloged.” Arthur smiled and placed a hand on Merlin’ s neck, “There is plenty of time for that. Y ou need to take a few days and settle in. As for your old room, you will not be needing it if you move into my chambers with me.” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want me to move into your chambers?” “When you are ready , yes,” Arthur blushed, “I mean if you want to. I don’ t want to push.” “Arthur , I want to, believe me, but for the sake of the kingdom perhaps we should ease them into this…what we are now . Some will not like that we are together .” “I guess you’re right,” Arthur said, “I should probably find a way to explain things to Gavin too before we go that far .” Merlin leaned in and kissed Arthur , “We need to tell my mother too.” “I didn’ t think about that,” Arthur shook his head, “Do you think she will object?” “I really don’ t know . I mean, I think she always knew that I had feelings for you, so that will not come as a surprise. But us actually acting on those feelings might.” “Merlin, as long as you know without a doubt that this is real and that I love you. No matter what anyone thinks about it, I do not care. I am tired of burying my feelings and denying myself the one person I need more than anyone.” “I will never doubt that…not now…not ever , Arthur .” Arthur kissed him deeply then nodded, “Y ou should go to your mother .” “I will find you later ,” Merlin smiled. “I should talk to my men,” Arthur nodded. “I’m sure Gwaine and Percival have already told them,” Merlin chuckled, “And I am fairly certain the castle gossip mill is in full swing.” “Yes, I used to hear things. People thought you and I were…that I was taking advantage of you back then. They assumed that just because I was not bedding every woman in the kingdom …” “I know , I heard the stories too,” Merlin chuckled, and Arthur looked at him. “Why didn’ t you ever say anything? I would have put a stop to it had I known. If my father had ever gotten wind of the rumors, he would have removed you from my service or worse. I thought my keeping quiet about it would make them stop.” Merlin smiled, “T o be honest, I did not mind. I never set them straight. I just let them think what they wanted to think and a part of me liked having them think that because people left me alone and I guess because I wanted it to be true. When I used to get you ready for bed at night, I used to wish you would ask me to stay . To take care of those needs for you.” Arthur nodded, “And I used to fight the ur ge to ask you to. W e were both stupid. W e could have been together back then.” “But then would you have married Gwen?” Merlin asked, “Y ou wouldn’ t have Gavin.” “I do not know what I would have done. Which is why I don’ t want to waste any more time, Merlin. As soon as you are ready and we tell everyone, I want you to move into my chambers and become my consort.” Merlin’ s eye widened, “That is quite of ficial.” “Yes, it is, and I want to make sure that you are protected in every way . No one will ever again treat you as less than you are, Merlin. I swear to you.” “I don’ t need anything of ficial, just to be with you.” “Yes, I know , but if anything should happen to me before Gavin is old enough. I want you to be protected and cared for . You will rule by my side in whatever capacity you wish, but I need to know that you are safe. Y ou have been through so much and lost so much because of me. And while I know I can never undo the damage or repay that debt; this is one way that I can at least begin to make amends.” “Arthur , you don’ t owe me anything,” Merlin said, tears in his eyes. “But I do, Merlin…and I am going to make sure you are loved and happy . “All right,” Merlin nodded then looked toward the door , “I should go now .” “Go,” Arthur kissed him and then watched as he left the room a soft smile on his face. “There you are, my boy ,” Hunith said as Merlin came through the door of the physician’ s chambers his eyes taking in the room. “I kept it as Gaius had it just in case you returned and wanted to take over .” “I missed this place so much,” Merlin smiled, his eyes brimming with tears, “I left Gaius.” “Merlin, Gaius loved you,” Hunith said, “Losing you broke his heart, but he understood. He missed you so much, but he told me that it did not surprise him that you chose to sacrifice yourself for Arthur . That it was your destiny , no matter the cost, to make sure Arthur lived.” “He’ s my friend, I could not let him die. He had to live.” “Merlin, I am your mother . I know you are in love with Arthur , you have been since the beginning. And seeing you two together this morning…I am not blind. Arthur loves you too.” Merlin smiled, “W e are um…” “I know and I am pleased,” Hunith laughed and embraced him, “Now sit down and eat. T ell your old mum everything. Starting with that father of yours. I am sorry I kept the truth from you about Balinor , Merlin…I just thought it would be safer for you. W e loved each other deeply and it hurt him so much to leave me.” “I know ,” Merlin nodded. “How is he? I mean other than the obvious.” “He is at peace, he helped me so much. I am so proud of him. Honored to be his son.” “And I am certain he is as proud of you as I am.” “Mother , are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am just happy to have my son back.” “I am glad you stayed in Camelot.” Hunith nodded, “I could not leave Arthur with a baby boy to raise. Losing Gwen was devastating for him.” Merlin rested his arms on the table as his mother placed a plate in front of him. “His own mother died giving birth to him…history repeating itself. I wish I had been able to save them both.” “What do you mean?” Hunith asked her brow creasing. “I sensed Arthur ’s despair and fear . I begged the Goddess to save them. She forced me to choose…Gwen or the baby…I chose the baby . When Gwen crossed over to A valon, I told her what happened and she was grateful, but I still feel like I should have done more.” “Well, as a mother , I can assure you that the life of her son was all that mattered to Guinevere.” “I just feel guilty .” “Have you told Arthur?” “Not yet. I need to. I’m not sure how .” “I am certain that he will feel the same as the queen. Gavin is his son and his heir . He dotes on that boy , and never fails to be there when he goes to bed so he can tell him a story and kiss him good night. Arthur is always telling him how proud he is of him.” “That is because Uther never gave Arthur the love and support that he needed and deserved. I think, deep down, he blamed Arthur for Ygraine’ s death when it was his doing. He used magic and when the price was her life, he lashed out at everyone and everything with magic instead of facing up to his own guilt. Arthur suf fered his entire life trying to please that man and he is determined that Gavin never feels the way he did.” “Arthur is a wonderful father ,” Hunith smiled, “And I think you will be as well.” “Me?” “Yes, Merlin, if you are going to be with Arthur , you will be Gavin’ s father as well.” Merlin smiled, “I guess I hadn’ t thought of it that way .” “It is good that Arthur told him all about you the last three years.” “I know I will need to help him with his magic. Kilgharrah said that his magic came from me. I don’ t quite understand how exactly . But when my magic was released, it healed him and Arthur and brought Gwaine back to life and somehow found its way to Gavin when Gwen was pregnant with him.” “That makes sense,” Hunith nodded as she began to eat, “Gwen did tell me that the day before Arthur returned to Camelot, she had a dream. She said she felt something, a calming warmth wash over her and she just knew that Arthur was alive.” Merlin picked at his food and shook his head, “I am grateful to be back. I just hope it isn’ t because of some impending doom. I just want to live here with you, Arthur and Gavin, and our friends. T o not have to fight anymore.” “Magic is legal now , there have been no magical attacks in years.” “And we have Alined’ s son trying to start a war and using Gavin to do it.” “I am fairly certain that when word gets out that you are back at Arthur ’s side, he will rethink his plans. He had little chance of beating Arthur before, with you here now…the enemies of Camelot will not dare to challenge him.” “I hope you’re right.” “So, are you going to take over for Gaius?” Merlin nodded, “And Geof frey.” “Really?” “Arthur doesn’ t need a servant anymore. I need to do my part in bringing back magic. Educating people and allaying their fears and prejudices against those with magic. Arthur asked me to write my own books to add to the library and I plan to collect all the surviving books and such that still exist in the secret room. This is what I was always meant to do and now I am back I can fulfill this part of the prophecy .” “I will be happy to assist you here,” Hunith said. “I would love that.” “I assume you will be moving into Arthur ’s chambers?” she asked with a knowing smile. Merlin chuckled and nodded, “He asked me to. I wanted to tell you first. And we need to give people time to adjust to the idea that their king is in love with his warlock.” “Merlin, don’ t you dare let anyone else keep you from the man you love.” “Mother , it is not that simple?” “Isn’ t it?” Hunith asked raising an eyebrow , “You nearly lost each other forever . Do you really plan to let what others think keep you apart just because a few might get upset? Arthur loves you and he wants to be with you. Do not waste a single second of this new life, Merlin.” “I won’ t,” Merlin smiled. “I really need to find some clothes. I stole these from a village after the Lake of A valon spit me out naked and disoriented.” “Then it is a good thing that Gaius and I kept all your belongings. Y ou will find everything in your old room. Including your magic book and the Sidhe staf f and whatever else you had hidden beneath the floorboards.” “Really?” Merlin asked, “Why was everyone so certain that I would return?” “We had faith Merlin, because to believe anything else was too painful. Arthur believed more than anyone. He would visit the lake often and speak with Kilgharrah on a regular basis. He was convinced that one day you would return.” “I didn’ t know ,” Merlin said. “The man loves you.” “Arthur said that he told Gwen, after I died, he told her what I meant to him.” “Yes, Gwen and I talked about it. She adored you, Merlin. She was so grateful to have Arthur alive and well and the kingdom was safe from Mor gana at last. She knew you loved Arthur and that he loved you.” “I am really scared that if I accept that this is all real, that I can finally have Arthur…” “You’re afraid something will happen to take it all away .” “Yes.” “Then all the more reason to live in the present, my boy .” “You’re right.” “Of course, I am,” Hunith beamed, “Now finish your food and go find your king.” “I am really glad you’re here,” Merlin smiled. “Nowhere I would rather be. Before you go, you should clean up and change your clothes.” “Wish I had a tub. I could really use a bath.” “There’ s one in your room,” Hunith smiled, “Arthur had it brought in here for me before I moved to Gwen’ s old house. Should I have water brought in?” Merlin grinned, “I think I can handle it.” “Good,” Hunith got up wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek, “I do love you, my boy . I need to take some salve to Evoric then I am going home for the evening. Give Arthur my love.” “Yes, mother ,” Merlin chuckled. “See you tomorrow ,” Hunith laughed then left the room closing the door behind her . Merlin got up cleaned their plates with a word then moved about the room touching every surface, inhaling the familiar scent of herbs and woodsmoke. T ears came to his eyes as he remembered Gaius, his snoring, and the eyebrow that struck fear in the strongest knight. “Gods, I miss you, old friend,” Merlin said softly , trailing his fingers along the stone hearth. He moved a chest from the table to the shelf where it had always been. He looked around then headed up the steps to his old room pushing the door open to find it just as he had left it except for the lar ge oval wooden tub by the wall. He tilted his head holding out a hand and the tub filled with steaming hot water and all the candles in the room flared to life casting a golden glow around the walls of the room he never thought he would see again. Opening the cupboard, he found his clothes clean and folded. His neckerchiefs and belts and his favorite brown jacket and two pairs of his boots. Hanging up on hooks were three brand- new tunics, blue, purple, and red. There were two new pairs of trousers dark blue and black, and a new pair of black boots. “Arthur ,” he smiled, “Y ou really did believe I would return.” Stripping of f his clothes and boots he slipped into the water with a deep sigh and closed his eyes. He felt a rush of emotions…grief, longing, pain, anguish…like sliding into a pit so deep and dark he could easily get lost in it. Then there was love, like a beacon, shining bright and clear showing him the way back out. His shoulders trembled, tears sliding down his face as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyelids. Arthur climbed the steps to Merlin’ s old room, he stopped at the door as he heard Merlin’ s quiet sobs. He splayed his hand against the wood not sure whether to intrude or to walk away . Shaking his head, he let out a breath and pushed the door open. He saw Merlin in the tub, head down. He closed the door and crossed the floor to kneel next to the tub. “Merlin,” he whispered placing a hand on the back of his head then gently caressed his neck, “Merlin, you are home…you’re here with me. Everything is going to be all right.” Arthur leaned forward pressing his lips to the back of Merlin’ s shoulder . It scared him to no end to see him like this, so broken and vulnerable. “Merlin, look at me, please,” he said, and Merlin turned his head, his eyes wide and dark with pain. “Arthur ,” he said. “I’m sorry ,” Arthur said brushing his thumb over the sensitive place behind Merlin’ s ear. Merlin shook his head, “I just…everything just hit me…” “I know , believe me…I’ve had many of those moments in the last few years. I understand.” “I mean, I am so grateful to be home…” “But you feel overwhelmed by all that you have lost.” Merlin nodded, “And I’m really scared, Arthur…that all this…that we…” He shook his head then leaned back, resting it on the edge of the tub. “Me too,” Arthur said then leaned over to grab the washcloth and soap. He slowly and tenderly began to wash the dirt and grime from Merlin’ s neck and chest. “Just lie back, I’m going to look after you for a change.” “You don’ t have to,” Merlin shook his head. “Yes, I do,” Arthur said as he raised Merlin’ s right arm out of the water easing the soap and cloth over his pale skin and lean muscles wrapping a hand around his slender wrist as he washed his long fingers and palm before pressing his lips to the center of it. “Y ou took care of me, but you had no one to take care of you. That changes now .” “Arthur…” “Shh, close your eyes and just let me do this, Merlin,” Arthur said then took hold of his left arm repeating the motions. He leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s chest. The scars that Merlin used to have were gone…where there had once been raised white jagged ridges of flesh, was now smooth pale white skin. “This is strange,” Merlin gave a husky moan as Arthur ’s hand slid down his stomach to his hip and down his thigh to his knee lifting it from the water to wash it. He repeated the motion with the other leg and Merlin let out a shaky breath and an even deeper moan. “Feel good, does it?” Arthur asked with a crooked grin. “It’s not unpleasant,” Merlin trembled and let out a gasp as his king slid a hand up his inner thigh hesitating just a moment before going further , slowly wrapping around his fully hard cock. “Arthur!” he growled, and Arthur laughed softly . “Finally ,” he said slowly stroking Merlin as he leaned over and kissed him. “Gods, Arthur…” “You are much bigger than I imagined,” Arthur said against his lips. “You imagined my…” Merlin’ s laugh was cut of f by a guttural groan of pleasure as Arthur ’s thumb and forefinger wrapped around the head. “Arthur…oh, that…don’ t stop, please. Gods, that feels so good.” “I have no intention of stopping,” Arthur said kissing him deeper , his tongue asking for and gaining entrance to Merlin’ s warm wet mouth, their tongues moving together as he pleasured him with his sword-callused hand. “I’m going to make you come for me.” “Arthur…I’m so close,” Merlin panted arching into the king’ s grip as he stroked his full length. He wanted it to last, he struggled to hold back, but it just felt too good. It wasn’ t just anyone touching him so intimately , it was Arthur…his Arthur . “Don’ t hold back, Merlin, just let go. I want you to.” Merlin tilted his head back and cried out Arthur ’s name. His chest heaving his hands gripping the edge of the tub as his lips parted and he shuddered violently as he came, spilling his seed in the bathwater . His eyes closed tightly; he bit down on his bottom lip. “Feel better?” Arthur asked as he nuzzled his neck and kissed the spot behind his ear while lazily stroking his cock. “Oh, yes,” Merlin gasped still quivering, the muscles in his stomach and thighs clenching and releasing with the force of his release. Arthur got to his feet and then leaned over to kiss him. “I’ll leave you to finish. Get dressed and join me in my chambers for dinner .” Merlin opened his eyes noticing the obvious bulge in Arthur ’s trousers. “But you need…” “Later , Merlin,” he said then tenderly washed his face and smiled. “W ear the purple one,” he said then kissed Merlin deeply before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Merlin huf fed a laugh then quickly finished washing and got out of the tub to dry of f and dress. He put on the black trousers and purple tunic then slipped on the new black boots. He gave up on his hair leaving it wet and messy then headed for Arthur ’s chambers. Just as he approached the door it opened, and he found himself face to face with Geor ge who looked at him at first with surprise then a tight smile. “Merlin, welcome home,” he said stif fly then with a bow he moved past him and down the corridor . “Are you just going to stand there with your mouth open?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Did Geor ge just bow to me?” “Get used to it, Merlin, you’re not a servant anymore.” “I’ll always be your servant, Arthur . Nice clothes and a title won’ t change that,” Merlin chuckled as he walked in and closed the door . “Lock it, I don’ t want to be disturbed,” Arthur wagged an eyebrow and Merlin laughed slipping the lock into place then moved toward the table where there was a veritable feast laid out for the two of them. “Um, Arthur…what you did for me back in my room…” Arthur closed the distance between them and kissed him, “That’ s just a taste of what I have in store for you, Merlin.” He looked down taking in his appearance and shook his head, “I always did love you in purple.” “I can’ t believe you had new clothes waiting for me. Y ou really had faith that I would return.” “I did,” Arthur kissed him again, “I had to keep the faith or go mad with grief.” Merlin shook his head, “I never considered how much my death would af fect you. I never meant to bring you so much pain.” “It doesn’ t matter now , you are back. Now sit down with me and eat,” Arthur motioned toward the table and Merlin sat down in the chair while Arthur took the one across from him and poured the wine. The king looked at him his blue eyes filled with concern. “Merlin, is there something bothering you?” “There are things I need to tell you, but I’m not sure how .” “I thought we were beyond secrets,” Arthur said, raising an eyebrow . “Come on, out with it.” “Well, first, I met your mother . She was beautiful and so sweet. W e talked about you and I told her everything. She is so proud of you, Arthur . She loves you so much. She also told me everything your father did.” “So, what she told me was true?” Merlin nodded, “I lied to you back then and I’m sorry . I thought I was doing the right thing.” “You did the right thing, Merlin. It’ s all right. Thank you for telling me. It feels good knowing mother is proud of me. That’ s not all though is it?” Merlin tore of f a piece of bread and a hunk of meat then shook his head. “When I was in Avalon, the night of Gavin’ s birth, I sensed your fear , your despair , and Gwen’ s pain.” Arthur stopped eating and took a drink of wine. “Y ou did?” Merlin nodded, “I used magic to look in on you and I saw everything. I begged the Goddess to save Gwen and the baby . I told her I would do anything.” “Merlin, what did you do?” Arthur asked warily . “I wanted to save them both, Arthur ,” Merlin’ s eyes filled with tears. “The Goddess…she forced me to choose. She said I could save the queen or the child, that if I didn’ t choose, they would both die. I—I chose to save Gavin. I let Gwen die. I’m so sorry , Arthur…if I could have saved her…” Arthur stared at Merlin, his eyes wide and dark. Merlin dropped his gaze to his hands and stilled, not daring to breathe, waiting for his king’ s wrath. When it didn’ t come, he dared to look up and Arthur was shaking his head. He slammed his fists down on the arms of his chair making Merlin flinch. “I—I’m so sorry ,” he choked on the words then slid his chair back getting ready to leave the room. “Where are you going?” Arthur asked, his voice hard. “I understand why you’re angry , I don’ t blame you,” Merlin said, “I’ll just go.” “Merlin,” Arthur said then got up walking around the table to grip his forearms, “I am not angry at you. No one should be forced to make such a choice. No one. I am so sorry the Goddess did that to you. It wasn’ t fair.” “But Gwen,” Merlin said, quickly averting his gaze. “Merlin, listen to me,” Arthur cupped his chin lifting his eyes again, “What she made you do was cruel. I am not angry at you; I am angry at what she did to you. T o be forced to choose between your dearest friend and the life of her baby .” “When I said that I felt like I was betraying Gwen, this is why . I can’ t help but wonder what she would think of my being here…” Merlin swallowed hard, “I saw her in A valon, and I told her what happened. She told me I made the right choice, and that the life of her child was all that mattered to her . But now I am here, and she isn’ t…” “Merlin, you know my mother died giving birth to me. Guinevere and I talked about it at length. She told me that if anything were to go wrong that she would gladly die to save our baby . You made the right choice. Guinevere loved Gavin with all that she was. She would not have wanted to live if he had died. It was not fair that you were put in that position, but I love my son more than life and I am grateful. It was so hard to lose her , but if I had lost them both…” “I couldn’ t let you lose them both,” Merlin said softly , shaking his head. “Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur said then drew him into his arms and kissed him, “I don’ t want you to feel like your being here is a betrayal to Guinevere. Please, let it go.” “I’ll try ,” he nodded. “Good,” Arthur cupped his cheek, “Now sit and eat.” They returned to the table eating in silence for a while until Arthur pushed his chair back and went to look out the windows. Folding his arms across his chest. Merlin watched him for a moment, he knew that look, Arthur was thinking. “Arthur?” he asked. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “For what?” “From the moment we met I treated you horribly . I took you for granted and I expected far more from you than any servant before you. I dragged you into dangerous situations that, as a servant, you had no business being in. Merlin, I put you at risk time and time again, for purely selfish reasons…because I couldn’ t bear to be apart from you. I needed you like I needed air to breathe. I think I knew even then that I loved you and because of that kept you at arm’ s length not allowing myself to admit to those feelings. I thought if I could pretend, they didn’ t exist I would be able to love someone else and no one would ever have to know that I was completely in love with my manservant. I think my father began to suspect something was going on when I chose to go after the Mortaeus flower to save your life. So, I had to be even more careful, because if he ever found out the truth he would have either banished or executed you.” Merlin remained silent sensing that Arthur needed to get his feelings out. “When you went missing after the rockfall, which I assume you caused to protect me, I was lost. All I could think about was that you were out there somewhere in danger and that I never told you what you meant to me. When you told me about your magic, I reacted badly . I was hurt and angry because you lied to me, and you didn’ t trust me with such a huge part of who you are. But then I realized that I never gave you any reason to. How many times did I tell you to your face that magic was pure evil, that it corrupted people? I belittled you and treated you like a fool. Y ou watched me follow my father ’s orders like a mindless attack dog. Y ou had every reason in the world to keep your secret from me.” “Arthur , if I could go back, I would tell you in the beginning. I wanted you to know . I nearly told you that day in Ealdor…if Mor gana hadn’ t walked in to tell us Kanen and his men had crossed the river , I would have.” Arthur nodded, “I know that now , but Merlin, I am not sure what I would have done back then. I cannot say for certain that I wouldn’ t have left you in Ealdor or turned you over to my father .” “Still, I should have trusted you.” “I know I told you that the past doesn’ t matter anymore, but it does. I cannot make up for the way I treated you and I cannot make up for all the pain and loss you suf fered because of me. Will, Freya, your father…and then you died for me.” “And I told you I would do it all over again,” Merlin said then got up from his chair going to stand in front of his king. “I love you, Arthur . I want to be with you. W e both made mistakes, but we are here now , and I don’ t want to keep things from you anymore. I want no barriers between us.” Arthur smiled and kissed him, “I want to love you the way you deserve.” “We can start right now ,” Merlin grinned then deepened the kiss. “Clothes are definitely a barrier ,” Arthur growled against his lips. “Yes, they are.” “I missed you undressing me.” “I may be out of practice,” Merlin chuckled staring into Arthur ’s eyes. “I’m sure it will all come back to you.” “Hmm, yes,” Merlin smiled backing Arthur toward the bed, tugging at the laces of Arthur ’s trousers, “I can’ t stop thinking about what happened in my room earlier . Seeing you hard for me.” “It’s not the first time,” Arthur grinned kissing Merlin harder . “You asked me if I have been with anyone, were you ever with anyone other than Gwen?” “When I was younger before you came to Camelot. I was with a woman once and experimented with fellow knights, but nothing like what I want to do with you.” “Really?” Merlin asked with a smirk. “Merlin, I want your mouth on me, please,” Arthur said with a hitch in his voice, “So many times I imagined those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock.” “Yes, Sire,” Merlin smiled dropping to his knees. He hooked his fingers beneath the waist of Arthur ’s trousers drawing them down freeing his engor ged cock. He let out a long, drawn- out moan as Merlin licked the full length from base to tip before swallowing him down licking and sucking and stroking him mercilessly until Arthur ’s knees were trembling. “Gods, Merlin,” Arthur gasped tangling his fingers in Merlin’ s dark hair , “It’s even better than I imagined. Y our mouth…” His hips stuttered as the head of his cock hit the back of Merlin’ s throat and he sucked in his cheeks. “Oh, yes…Merlin, so good.” Merlin drew back looking up at Arthur with such absolute love and desire. “Arthur , I want you to take me…please.” “Yes, Merlin…I want to,” Arthur said drawing him up to his feet and kissing him hard and deep. He pulled Merlin’ s tunic of f and removed his trousers after he kicked of f his boots. He stood before his king fully naked, his beautiful pale skin begging to be touched and kissed and marked by Arthur…claimed at last. “Arthur ,” his eyes flashed gold and he kissed him, “I’m ready please…” Arthur kicked of f his own trousers and tunic then eased Merlin back against the bed. “Y ou’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he kissed him. Merlin laid back on the bed and Arthur moved between his parted thighs his fingers finding him slick and open for him. He let out a low moan and pressed the head of his cock against his entrance biting down on his bottom lip as he struggled to slow down, to keep himself from the edge. Merlin kissed him passionately wrapping his long legs around Arthur . “Now , please, Arthur ,” he whispered huskily , “I need you inside me.” “I don’ t want to hurt you.” “You won’ t,” Merlin panted, “Please, I have waited so long.” Arthur kissed him full on the lips then dragged one hand down to Merlin’ s heavy cock stroking him slowly as he drove his hips forward into Merlin, groaning as the wet heat of his body enveloped him. “Oh, God,” Arthur whispered, “Y ou feel so good.” “Arthur , yes, please…” Arthur thrust into Merlin hard and deep and fast completely losing himself in the intensity of the joining of their bodies. It was even more incredible than he ever could have imagined. “Merlin, you’re mine at last…I love you,” he gasped. “I love you too,” Merlin breathed out throwing his head back, his eyes closed, and lips parted in a wordless cry of sheer pleasure. Arthur ’s cock filled him so completely , awakening his body in ways he never dreamed possible. His magic wrapped around them, and he laughed breathlessly as he felt it caressing Arthur ’s body and his king’ s eyes opened wide in surprise. “That feels strange,” Arthur moaned feeling Merlin’ s magic brushing over his skin like a thousand butterflies. “Incredible,” he gasped. Arthur pulled out of Merlin earning him a whine of protest. He moved onto the bed and laid down. Merlin moved on top of him immediately impaling himself on Arthur ’s cock once again. Arthur slid his hands over his shoulders and down his back to cup his arse while he rode him slowly , reveling in every movement. “Merlin…I’m close, so close.” “Touch me, Arthur ,” Merlin moaned as he rotated his hips and bore down on Arthur fully and his hand wrapped around Merlin’ s cock stroking him. “Y es, so good,” he gasped. “Merlin, now ,” Arthur moaned arching up into him as he spilled his seed deep inside him at last and Merlin followed him over the edge coating his hand in his own come. “Arthur…holy hell,” Merlin shuddered and trembled on top of him. “That was incredible,” Arthur laughed breathlessly . “Gods, why did we wait so long?” Merlin asked. “We were clearly idiots.” Easing of f Arthur , Merlin laid down next to him and they kissed. Chests pressed together , skin glistening with sweat. “I love you,” Merlin smiled. “I love you, Merlin,” Arthur grinned his thumb stroking his cheek and gliding across his bottom lip. “Always. Stay the night with me.” “I think I can be persuaded,” Merlin grinned kissing him lazily as they clung to each other . Arthur brought his hand up and removed his silver ring sliding it onto Merlin’ s finger bringing tears to his eyes. “Arthur , I can’ t…” “You can, Merlin. I want everyone to know what we are to each other now . Wear it always.” “But it was your mother ’s.” “And she would want you to have it.” “Are you sure?” “Yes,” Arthur kissed him. “Thank you,” Merlin smiled kissing him back. “Are you tired?” Arthur asked. “Not really .” “Feel like going to the tavern?” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want to go to the tavern?” “I think we should go. Gwaine and the others are there tonight. I know they want to welcome you home too.” “What about Gavin’ s story time?” “Already taken care of. The poor little one was exhausted. He was out before I got to the bit about the unicorn.” “In that case, let’ s go to the tavern,” Merlin grinned. Arthur kissed him then they got out of bed cleaned up and got dressed. Merlin’ s hair was all over the place and Arthur laughed trying to tame it to no avail. “I think you may need a little magic for this,” Arthur smiled, “Y ou walk in looking like that and they will know exactly what we have been up to.” “I thought you wanted everyone to know ,” Merlin grinned. “I want them to know we are together but what we do in our bedroom is none of their business,” Arthur said kissing him. “Y ou know Gwaine…” “Ah yes, I do,” Merlin smiled then with a word his magic smoothed his hair . “Better?” “I shall look forward to messing it up again later ,” Arthur said huskily then pulled him close, “You are beautiful, Merlin.” “Am I really?” “Gods, yes, absolutely ethereally so.” “I still can’ t quite believe this is happening.” “We just made love,” Arthur grinned, “And if we don’ t get going, I am going to mess up that hair right now .” Merlin laughed then headed for the door and unlocked it. They left Arthur ’s chambers heading down the corridor out of the castle and toward the lower town. The Rising Sun was full of people when they entered. Musicians were playing in the corner and there were couples dancing. Gwaine spotted them immediately and waved them over . “Didn’ t expect to see you two tonight,” he winked, and Arthur gave him a stern look, though his eyes were filled with amusement. “I figured you all would want to welcome Merlin home,” he smirked. “Aye that we do,” Gwaine said embracing Merlin, “Y ou look really good, old friend. Happy .” “I am,” Merlin smiled shyly lowering his head for a moment, “It feels good to be back.” “Look at you,” Leon said, “All dressed up.” The knight embraced Merlin. “It is good to see you.” “Merlin,” Percival said placing a big hand on his shoulder , “Welcome home, you were missed.” “Thank you,” Merlin smiled then followed Arthur to a bench on the other side of the long table where the knights were sitting. They sat down and Evoric brought them tankards of mead. “Merlin, dear boy , it is so good to see you again,” he said, “W elcome back.” “Good to see you too, Evoric,” Merlin grinned, “How’ s Greta and the kids?” “Greta is well, she is visiting her sister in Brenwell, she will be delighted to see you. The kids have all grown and moved away , but they are doing well. James will be moving home to take over the tavern in a few months I am getting too old for this. I must get back to my patrons. Again, welcome back, Merlin.” Arthur leaned close linking their fingers together . “Are you all right? If it is too overwhelming we can go.” “No, I want to stay ,” Merlin said. “Good,” Arthur smiled then kissed him earning them a series of whistles and cheers from the knights. They both rolled their eyes and smiled. “It’s about time,” Leon chuckled, and Arthur looked at his old friend and first knight. “What are you on about?” he asked him. “Poetry ,” Leon grinned. “Right,” Arthur nodded, and Merlin laughed, his blue eyes wide and filled with mirth. It was so good to see Merlin happy and alive. His heart swelled with love and quietness even in the midst of the gaiety . The other half of his soul was back where he belonged, and he would never let anything come between them again. “I love you.” Merlin kissed him, “I love you too.” Two hours, many more tankards of mead, and a lot of celebrating later , the two of them and Gwaine made their way back to the castle. The three of them were laughing and shoving each other playfully . “Gwaine…you’re drunk,” Arthur said, only slightly slurring his words. “So are you, My Lord,” Gwaine chuckled, “Good thing Merlin is still somewhat sober , or we would be sleeping in the upstairs room again.” “You two slept in the inn?” Merlin asked. “Yep, after you…we got drunk. Percival and Leon had to practically carry us upstairs,” Arthur grinned. “It’ s not appropriate for a king to get drunk in public…but I am so happy tonight. I have you back,” he said stopping to pull Merlin into his arms for a deep kiss. Gwaine laughed, “Y ou’re worried about getting drunk in public and you’re making out with Merlin in the street.” “Shut up, Gwaine,” Merlin grinned kissing Arthur back. “I’ll leave you two be,” Gwaine laughed then headed for his chambers. “Good night, Gwaine,” Arthur chuckled. “Good night, My Lord…good night, Merlin.” Arthur laughed, “Maybe we should take this back to my chambers.” “I have a better idea,” Merlin grinned then took his hand leading Arthur through a door and into the castle. He pulled him into a short corridor and through a door into a stairwell that led up to the tower . They stumbled through a door and into a round room at the top of the tower its windows overlooking the whole city bathed in moonlight. “I haven’ t been up here since I was a child,” Arthur smiled, “I used to love this room.” “I would come here often to think, to practice magic,” Merlin said leaning on the windowsill taking in the view . Arthur stared at him intently and shook his head. “It must have been so lonely , so isolating…being forced to hide who you were.” “It was, but I don’ t have to anymore,” Merlin turned to meet his gaze, his smile bright and open. Arthur moved closer wrapping his arms around him, “Never again, Merlin…never again.” He kissed him deeply then went down on his knees his fingers quickly freeing Merlin’ s half- hard cock swallowing him down. Merlin moaned loudly , one hand on the windowsill and the other on his king’ s head, his fingers tugging at his hair as his mouth devoured his full length. “Arthur , Gods, feels so good,” he gasped tilting his head back, lips parted. “Merlin,” Arthur whispered looking up at him with wild eyes reveling in the feel of Merlin, the taste of Merlin. “Arthur , your mouth,” he breathed out, chest heaving, as he resisted the ur ge to thrust into that wet heat. “My Lord…Sire…Gods, please…” He leaned back against the stone, his knees trembling. “Arthur , I’m close…” Arthur moaned around him and sucked in his cheeks his tongue curling around Merlin’ s cock and a moment later he came with a violent shudder spilling his seed in the mouth of his sovereign. His knees gave out and he collapsed in Arthur ’s arms holding on to him like a lifeline. “Merlin,” Arthur said with a breathless laugh, “Are you all right?” “Ask me that when I can remember my name,” Merlin chuckled. “I love making you come,” Arthur whispered in his ear , “The look of utter bliss on your face…and your eyes…they turn gold for just a moment when you reach the threshold.” “Do they?” Merlin asked with a grin as he looked into Arthur ’s eyes. “Yes, it’ s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Absolutely stunning.” “I’ve never felt like this, Arthur…all my life I was never able to truly be myself with anyone.” “I’m glad you can now…with me,” Arthur smiled kissing him tenderly . Merlin’ s hand stroked the length of Arthur ’s hard shaft through his trousers as they kissed. “Shall I return the favor , Sire?” he asked with a grin. “Stand up,” Arthur said, and Merlin got to his feet. Arthur followed suit and unlaced his trousers. “T urn around and lean on the windowsill.” Merlin obeyed looking back over his shoulder as Arthur ran his hands over the soft flesh of his arse his fingers delving inside him. “Arthur ,” Merlin moaned pressing back against those fingers as he worked him open with only a little aid from magic. “Hold on to something,” Arthur grinned then pulled his fingers out freeing his cock, and stepped forward thrusting into Merlin in one smooth motion, burying himself inside to the hilt. Merlin let out a cry of pleasure his fingers gripping the stone as Arthur rolled his hips making him shiver from head to toe. “Gods, you feel good, Merlin.” “Arthur…” Merlin moaned as they moved together both breathing hard and desperate for more, needing to get closer , to mer ge their bodies and souls for eternity . “Harder , please,” Merlin gasped thrusting back against his king the head of his cock brushing against the spot inside him that made him see stars and his knees go weak. “I love you,” Arthur growled pounding into Merlin harder and faster until he spilled inside him with such force that he swore he nearly lost consciousness. “Gods, Merlin…” Merlin could not speak, he was so lost in the moment, the ecstasy of release. He barely touched himself and he was coming, spilling his seed over his hand. He pressed his forehead to the cool of the stone wall and Arthur curled around him. “Never like this with anyone else,” Arthur whispered against the back of his head, “Only you, Merlin…only you.” “Arthur ,” Merlin said breathlessly . “Are you all right? I didn’ t hurt you did I?” “Oh, I am good…amazing in fact,” Merlin said leaning back into his arms. “I wonder if I can let Leon run the kingdom for a week or two and we can stay in my chambers and make love over and over .” Merlin laughed, “As brilliant as that would be, I’m not sure it would be a good idea. People will think I enchanted you or something to distract you from your duties.” “You are a wonderful distraction,” Arthur kissed him. “Come on, it is getting cold up here,” Merlin said, “Let’ s go back to your chambers.” They righted their clothing smoothed down their hair and headed back down the spiral staircase. W alking hand in hand down the corridor of the silent palace. This is how it was always meant to be. This was their destiny realized. “Merlin,” Arthur said as they reached the door of his room. “Yeah?” Merlin asked. “I am not sure what I will need to do to make it possible under the laws of Camelot, but I want you to be mine in every way . I want to marry you. If you will have me.” Merlin’ s eyes went wide and bright, “Arthur…” “Merlin, will you marry me?” Arthur asked taking hold of both hands, his thumb tracing the silver ring on his finger . “Please, I love you and I want you to be my husband.” “Yes,” Merlin said tears shining in his eyes, “Y es, Arthur , I will marry you. If that is even possible.” Arthur sur ged forward and kissed him deeply , “I will do whatever it takes to make it happen.” “If not then perhaps we can be bound in other ways,” Merlin smiled. Arthur kissed him deeply and then opened the door . They went inside and Merlin closed and locked the door again. He poured them some wine and started the fire in the hearth to ward off the chill of the room while Arthur cleaned up and got ready for bed. Merlin watched him with a crooked grin on his face as he washed and undressed. “What?” Arthur asked when he noticed. “You really have learned to do things for yourself.” “I can unlearn if you prefer ,” Arthur grinned. “Actually , I kind of like this new independent you,” Merlin said as he closed the distance between them and pulled of f his tunic and boots. “Do you now?” “Mmm, yes, it’ s really kind of nice to not have to worry about chores. I can focus on much more rewarding endeavors.” “Please do,” Arthur smirked as Merlin kissed his neck and shoulder . “Yes, My Lord,” he said then kissed him full on the mouth. The New Prophecy Merlin sat on the floor in the secret room of the library surrounded by piles of magic books sorted by the type of magic they contained and subject matter . He was surprised that so many had survived Uther ’s pur ge and suspected that Geof frey had kept them in this room on purpose. There’ s no way the man did not know this room existed. His suspicions were confirmed when he found a book, more of a record. It was in the old librarian’ s handwriting the dates listed were all after the start of the Great Pur ge. It listed the books that had been destroyed. Merlin smiled, Geof frey had been working behind Uther ’s back to protect materials that were rare and that he could not bear to see lost forever . Getting to his feet, Merlin walked over to a long shelf, he waved a hand banishing the layers of dust and cobwebs then his eyes flashed gold and each shelf was engraved with magic runes that would protect the books from everything from fire to flood. He then arranged them on the newly cleaned shelves. “Merlin!” Merlin turned around grinning at the sound of Gavin’ s voice. He walked to the panel, pushed it open, and stepped through into the main library . “Merlin, there you are,” Gavin smiled running to him. “Hello, what are you doing here, little one?” “Hunith brought me.” Just then Hunith came around the corner . “There you are, young man, you are getting too fast for me,” she laughed. “Merlin, you’re covered in dust, what are you doing in here?” “Cleaning the secret room, or ganizing the magic books that were hidden in there. I am taking over for Geof frey.” “Aren’ t you taking on too much, so soon?” she asked, “Physician and librarian?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Believe me compared to being Gaius’ apprentice, Arthur ’s manservant, and secret defender of Camelot, this is a piece of cake.” “I suppose so,” Hunith said, “I just worry .” “I’m fine, mother , really ,” Merlin grinned kissing her cheek. “You do look happy ,” she smiled knowingly , “I assume you and Arthur…” Merlin blushed, “Y es, he wants me to marry him.” “Oh, that is wonderful news.” “It may never happen, but it is nice knowing that it’ s what he wants.” “Arthur loves you, Merlin. I am certain he will find a way .” “What if the people, the court won’ t accept us being together?” “Does it matter?” Hunith asked, “As long as you and Arthur love each other?” “No, it doesn’ t,” Merlin grinned then kissed Gavin’ s cheek. “I want books,” Gavin said wrapping his arms around Merlin’ s neck. “Then let’ s find you some books,” Merlin laughed. Arthur paced the empty council chambers his arms folded across his chest. He’d woken up from a nightmare to an empty bed, empty chambers. For a fleeting moment, he feared that he had dreamed it all, that Merlin was still dead. Then he looked over at the tangled bedding, the imprint from another head on the pillows and he smiled. He’s spent the entire morning pouring over the laws of Camelot looking for a way to make it possible for him and Merlin to marry . For Merlin to be accepted as his and to rule by his side. He had trusted members of the court working out the details. W ith luck, he and Merlin could be married within a month. He smiled running his fingers through his hair . He needed a haircut and now that Merlin was back… “Sire,” Leon said as he came through the door , “Riders are approaching the gates. They wear the colors of Deorham.” “Alined’ s men…” Arthur frowned, “Show them to the throne room. I will see them immediately .” “Very well,” Leon nodded and left. Arthur took a breath and then headed for the throne room. He spotted Gwaine in the corridor . “Gwaine, I need you to go to the library and find Merlin. T ell him to dress and meet me in the throne room we have guests. Alined’ s men.” Gwaine nodded, “I’ll go. What do you think this is about?” “Not sure, but I need Merlin there with me.” “Right, I’ll go get him and we will meet you in the throne room,” Gwaine said then took of f running down the corridor . Merlin was just leaving the library when Gwaine rounded the corner . “What’ s wrong?” he asked. “Arthur sent me to find you, Alined’ s men are here. He needs you to dress up pretty and join him in the throne room.” “What do they want?” Merlin asked as they headed for the physician’ s chambers so he could clean up and change clothes. “No idea, but it can’ t be good.” Hunith was preparing a remedy when they walked in, and Gavin was sitting on the bed looking at a book of pictures of mythical creatures. “Merlin, Gwaine,” she smiled. “Mother , I need you to keep Gavin here, do not let him out of your sight. Alined’ s men are here, and we don’ t know what they want,” Merlin said as he ran up the steps to his room and closed the door . He used magic to heat water in a bowl, washed up quickly then put on his new dark blue trousers and the red tunic with the gold embroidered collar and cuf fs. Slipped on his black boots and tamed his hair with magic then headed back downstairs. Hunith reached up to fix the collar and patted his cheek. “I will keep Gavin here with me,” she nodded, “T ell Arthur he is safe.” “I love you,” Merlin kissed her forehead then bent to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “Gavin, you will protect my mother for me?” “I will,” the boy beamed up at him. “Gwaine,” Merlin nodded, and they left the room. Arthur looked up as the door opened and Merlin walked in with Gwaine right behind him. He approached looking around warily . “Where are they?” he asked. “They are on their way up now ,” Arthur said as he looked Merlin over from head to toe and smiled making an appreciative sound. “W e definitely need to get the tailor to make you more new clothes. Y ou look incredible.” “Thank you, My Lord,” Merlin grinned, leaning in for a kiss, but Gwaine cleared his throat alerting them to the arrival of their guests and he moved to stand behind Arthur ’s throne, but the king gripped his wrist and drew him forward to stand beside him. “Your Majesty ,” Leon said, “I present the delegation from King Alined. They asked for an audience with you in regard to the actions of Prince Amren.” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, then Leon stepped aside, and the men entered. “Your highness, King Arthur ,” the leader said, “I am Sir Harak, first knight of Deorham. King Alined sent us with an of fering and his deepest apologies for the actions of his son Prince Amren in the kidnapping of your son Prince Gavin.” Arthur raised an eyebrow , “He is admitting that Amren was involved?” “Yes, My Lord,” Harak said, “The prince confessed to the king what he had done after some persuasion. King Alined has disinherited him and named his daughter , Princess Fiona as his successor to the throne.” “And what is this of fering?” Arthur asked. Harak motioned to one of his men who moved to the door and gestured to someone in the corridor . A man in restraints, with a hood over his head, was dragged into the throne room and forced onto his knees at Arthur ’s feet. The hood was then removed to reveal a terrified Prince Amren. “King Alined wishes to avoid war ,” Harak said, “Prince Amren is at your mercy , to face sentencing for the crime of kidnapping your son.” Arthur stared down at the prince, he was only a year older than Arthur . They had known each other as boys. The man had grown up pampered and protected. “Amren,” Arthur said, “What do you have to say for yourself? Y ou kidnapped my son.” “King Arthur , I deeply regret what I did. I was angry at my father for giving away my birthright.” “My son could have been killed,” Arthur said his voice sharp and hard. “I know , My Lord, I beg of you, if you intend to kill me, make it quick.” Arthur gave Merlin a sidelong glance and Merlin gave him a barely discernable nod. He turned his attention back to Prince Amren. “On your feet, Amren,” Arthur said. The prince obeyed, with help from Harak, reluctantly meeting Arthur ’s gaze. “Please, Y our Majesty…” Amren practically whimpered. “Your father has banished you?” “Yes,” he said his voice trembling. Arthur let out a breath and shook his head, “Everything in me wants to have you put to death for what you did, but it seems that letting you live will be a greater punishment. Y ou will be released, Prince Amren. Y ou will leave Camelot…leave the five kingdoms never to return. Is that understood?” “Yes, My Lord, thank you…your mercy is appreciated. I will do as you have ordered. Y ou have shown that you are a good and strong king.” Arthur took a step toward him, and the prince paled, “It is not mercy , Amren. What you did was cruel and unfor givable. But if we are to achieve lasting peace in the kingdoms, it must be without bloodshed. I am not my father . If I were you would be dead already . I choose to let you live with what you have done and what you have lost because of your decision.” “King Arthur ,” Sir Harak bowed, “W e will inform King Alined of your decision.” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, “Now remove him from my court, please.” Gwaine and Leon glanced at Arthur nodding then followed the men out. Merlin released a breath and then took hold of his king’ s hand. “That was a tough decision,” he said softly . “Yes, but the right one,” Arthur smiled. “Are you all right?” “As long as you are by my side, yes,” he said then kissed Merlin tenderly . “I’m proud of you,” Merlin grinned. “Proud of your king?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Of you,” Merlin kissed him. “Funny , even though my father so rarely said those words to me, they mean so much more coming from you, Merlin. I want so much to be worthy of your love, your loyalty , and devotion.” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur…” “I love you, Merlin.” “And I love you, Y our Majesty .” “Now you use titles,” Arthur chuckled. “You’d rather I call you a prat? “Actually , yes.” “I love you, Prat,” Merlin grinned then kissed him deeply . The lower town was just beginning to stir as the sun rose in the east. A lone figure wrapped in a dark green cloak the hood covering her long dark hair walked with determination, her back straight and head high. As she walked through the lower town she lowered the hood. The people gasped their eyes going wide in fear as they stared in disbelief. She gave them a hesitant smile and continued on her way the people parting to let her through. She walked into the square only to find herself surrounded by knights. The alarm bells went of f alerting the citadel to the intruder . Arthur and Merlin heard them from their chambers. There was a knock on the door . It opened and Gwaine entered. “Arthur…” he said his eyes filled with fear . “What is it?” Arthur asked. “In the square, it’ s Mor gana. She has returned.” Merlin’ s eyes widened and he took of f running with Arthur and Gwaine close behind. He charged down the stairs and out the doors heading down the steps. He pushed between two of the knights. Reaching Mor gana, he drew her behind him protectively and shook his head. “Stop, please,” he said, “She means no harm.” “Merlin,” Mor gana said, sounding annoyed, “I don’ t need you to protect me.” “Doesn’ t look that way to me,” Merlin grinned. “Mor gana,” Arthur said as he came down the steps. “Arthur…” “Is it really you?” he asked motioning for the knights to stand down. Morgana moved from behind Merlin approaching her brother . She bowed her head and then knelt at his feet. She looked up at him, tears in her jade-green eyes. “It is me, the real me, Y our Highness,” she said her voice soft, but edged with fear and uncertainty . “Merlin told me everything,” Arthur said then crouched in front of her catching her completely by surprise. “I’m sorry , Mor gana.” Morgana shook her head, tears sliding down her cheeks, “Why are you apologizing to me?” “I failed you,” Arthur said reaching out to brush a tear away with his thumb, “I was blind to your pain, your fear . What our father did to you was wrong, just as he was wrong about magic.” “Arthur , what I did…” Mor gana choked back a sob. “It wasn’ t you…well, it wasn’ t all you. I know that now . How are you back?” Morgana glanced at Merlin then turned back to Arthur , “The Goddess, she said I could return, but I can only stay if I can earn your for giveness, Arthur . I know I don’ t deserve it… Arthur smiled and pulled her into his embrace, “Y ou have it, Mor gana…if you can for give me.” Mor gana’ s whole body shook with relieved sobs as she clung to her brother . Merlin met Arthur ’s gaze with a wide grin and a nod. “I’m so sorry , Arthur ,” Mor gana gasped. “Welcome home, my sister…I love you,” Arthur smiled cupping the back of her head. Morgana stif fened and drew back releasing him, then stood up. She closed her eyes tilting her head back as what looked like falling stars shot across the sky conver ging on one point to become a beam of silver light, pure and beautiful aimed down at the ground, at Mor gana. She raised her arms into the air and the beam came down flowing into her . She opened her eyes; they were a brilliant silver . “What’ s happening?” Arthur asked Merlin. “It’s her magic, it has been purified and it is returning to her ,” he said. “Oh,” Mor gana gasped as the magic settled down in her core where it belonged. “Mor gana?” Merlin smiled. “This is incredible,” she breathed out slowly , “Merlin…” “You have your magic back,” Arthur said. “Yes, the Goddess said that I had to have your for giveness in order to stay , but I could only have my magic back if you still have love for me,” Mor gana said with a soft laugh. “I didn’ t think…” “You’re my sister , Mor gana. I hated what you did, but I never hated you. I think a part of me understood why you went down the path you did. Our father lied to us both. He denied you your heritage and your rightful place in the kingdom.” “The throne was never mine to claim,” Mor gana said, “Mor gause, she poisoned me with darkness and hatred. She wanted the power she could only obtain through me. Y ou were always meant to rule, Arthur .” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur , his eyes narrowed as he studied Mor gana. She met his gaze with a genuine softness and reassurance. “You’re not her ,” he said. “Gwaine,” Mor gana smiled, “Y ou’re alive.” “Yes, thanks to Merlin.” “I’m glad,” she bowed, “I am so sorry for all that I did to you. I humbly beg your forgiveness.” Gwaine stared at her for a moment then shook his head, “Y ou’re not her…not the Lady Morgana I knew .” “No, Gwaine,” Arthur smiled, “This is the Lady Mor gana that I grew up with, the one who belongs in Camelot. She’ s stubborn, bossy , a little scary , but she is kind, compassionate and she’s my sister .” “And my friend,” Merlin smiled. Morgana turned to him, “Y ou look happy .” “I am,” he grinned then glanced at Arthur . “I missed you,” she said. “I missed you too,” Merlin hugged her and then kissed her forehead. “Father!” Gavin shouted as he came tearing down the steps with Hunith right behind him. Arthur turned and smiled. “Father?” Mor gana asked. “Mor gana, this is Prince Gavin Pendragon, your nephew ,” Arthur said proudly as his son reached the bottom step and stopped. He looked up at Mor gana with a bright smile and blue eyes that could see into the soul. “Look at you,” Mor gana cried dropping to her knees in front of him, “Y ou are beautiful.” Gavin moved closer to her reaching out to touch her cheek. “Y ou’re safe now ,” he said softly , “You don’ t have to be scared no more.” Morgana stared at him her eyes filling with tears. She shook her head unable to speak as Gavin wrapped his little arms around her neck. She held him tightly looking up at Arthur and then Merlin in utter disbelief. “Welcome home, Mor gana,” Arthur smiled. “Gods, look at you,” Mor gana choked back a cry of joy , kissing Gavin’ s little chubby cheek. “Let’ s go inside,” Arthur said scooping Gavin up in his arms. Gwaine extended a hand to Mor gana. She looked at him in surprise before taking it and he helped her up. Merlin put a hand on her lower back guiding her up the steps. “Lady Mor gana,” Hunith said as they reached her . “Hunith,” Mor gana smiled embracing her . “That’ s the beautiful young lady I remember , welcome home.” “Thank you.” “How do you feel?” Merlin asked her as they walked down the corridor . She stopped for a moment to look around then nodded. “I feel free. And incredibly happy . There’ s something dif ferent about you, Merlin…” she said studying him, taking in his new clothes then she spotted the silver ring…Arthur ’s silver ring on his hand. “Oh, this explains a few things.” Merlin blushed, “Y es, well, Arthur and me…” Morgana’ s eyes widened, “It is about time. Y ou two…always looking longingly at each other . Everyone knew you were completely besotted with Arthur and Arthur with you. I just never imagined that he would act on his feelings. He really has changed, hasn’ t he.” “So have I,” Merlin said. “I can see that,” Mor gana beamed, “I am so pleased, Merlin. Y ou deserve to be happy .” “As do you,” he said. “I’m beginning to believe that. I still feel so guilty though.” “I know…I still carry my own guilt, but we have to for give ourselves,” Merlin smiled. “This is your second chance, Mor gana,” Gwaine said, “Don’ t waste it dwelling on the past. If Arthur and Merlin can for give you…” Morgana turned to look at him, “But can you?” Gwaine shook his head, “It’ s strange. I don’ t see you as the same woman who tortured me on more than one occasion and then killed me. As I said, you’re not her .” “How can you not?” she asked. “Maybe if I had known you before, I would feel dif ferently . I cannot reconcile the two versions of you. Maybe that is a good thing.” “Maybe so,” Mor gana smiled looking into his eyes. Merlin went ahead leaving the two of them alone. Gwaine took her arm slipping it through his then followed. Mor gana felt a rush of emotion that was almost overwhelming as they walked into the throne room where Arthur stood with Merlin, Gavin in his arms. Her eyes filled with tears again at the sight and she smiled. “I’m home.” Arthur sat at his desk working on a speech. He couldn’ t focus on the words because he kept looking up at the door every few minutes waiting for Merlin to appear . Where was he? The last three weeks had been insane. There were constant and ongoing discussions with his advisors and lords over the most basic kingdom business. The getting used to having Morgana in his life again and trying to figure out a way to give her back what their father had taken from her , as well as working to change the laws to allow Arthur and Merlin to marry . Then an outbreak of some sort of fever in an outlying village had kept Merlin and Hunith away for five days only to have the same sickness break out in Camelot’ s lower town while they were gone. Mor gana had done her best to take care of the patients until they returned then the three of them worked together until finally , it was under control. Arthur rubbed his eyes and dropped his quill. He slipped on his boots and headed for the door. It was late and the castle was quiet, so he didn’ t care that he was only wearing his trousers and a sleep tunic. He needed to find Merlin. Not finding him in the physician’ s chambers, Arthur headed toward the library . The door creaked when he opened it. The room was dark save for a few scattered candles. The secret room… “Merlin,” Arthur called out as he reached the wall behind which he knew the hidden room lay. He kicked the shelf that tripped the release and it opened. “Merlin?” he said as the panel closed behind him. “Arthur ,” Merlin said, coming out from behind a high shelf lined with ancient books, “What time is it?” “It’s almost midnight,” Arthur smiled, “Are you all right?” “Yes, sorry , I lost track of time,” Merlin grinned. “I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me,” Arthur said his eyes narrowing. “Never ,” Merlin shook his head, “Just a lot to catch up on since the outbreak.” “Are you sure that’ s all it is?” “I am sure. I’m sorry for neglecting you, my king.” Arthur looked around the room and nodded, “This is amazing. I had no idea so much survived my father ’s pur ge.” “Yes, well, some of the books were severely damaged and I had to repair them with magic. Some were beyond saving. The shelves are warded now , they will be protected.” “That’ s good…very good,” Arthur said watching as Merlin stretched to put a book on the higher shelf. He smirked then stepped closer wrapping his arms around him. “It’ s very quiet in here, isn’ t it?” “Mmm, yes,” Merlin grinned as Arthur ’s hands slid beneath his tunic splaying over his flat stomach and he felt the hard ridge of the king’ s arousal pressing against his arse. “What shall your punishment be for neglecting your king, Mer—lin?” “Oh!” Merlin gasped then let out a low moan as Arthur thrust his hips forward pressing him into the shelf, “Gods, more of that…definitely more of that.” Arthur grinned and repeated the movement and Merlin let out a sound of desperate longing. “It’s not punishment if it feels good,” he chuckled. “Arthur ,” Merlin moaned pressing back into him, “Please…” Turning Merlin around Arthur kissed him hard and deep biting his bottom lip and thrusting his tongue into his warm wet mouth as he pressed him back against the shelf. Merlin’ s eyes were wide and dark with arousal his breath coming out in short gasps, his chest heaving. “Merlin,” Arthur growled, rolling his hips into his, “I want you now…” Merlin nodded eagerly , unable to form words he yanked Arthur ’s tunic over his head kissing his chest, neck, and shoulder . It was the king’ s turn to moan filthily , his hips stuttering as Merlin’ s hands quickly unlaced his trousers and pushed them down to his broad muscular thighs. Arthur shoved his hand down the front of Merlin’ s trousers gripping his hard cock. “Gods, Arthur!” he gasped kissing Arthur again, their hot breath mingling as their tongues moved together . They were both completely out of their minds, needing to feel every touch, every thrust. “Merlin,” Arthur whispered huskily pushing his trousers down and Merlin kicked them of f with his boots as Arthur lifted him of f his feet wrapping his long legs around his waist and kissing him, devouring his lips and tongue. “Magic…need magic,” he growled and Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold. A moment later Arthur thrust into him, and Merlin cried out in utter bliss. “Arthur , yes, please…” he panted, closing his eyes, reaching up to grip the shelf with both hands, holding on for dear life as Arthur drove into him. “Arthur…don’ t stop…more!” “Merlin, you feel so good, so tight,” Arthur kissed him. He looked into his eyes rolling his hips harder and faster . The wild look in Merlin’ s sex-addled gaze increased his arousal tenfold. “I love you,” he breathed out thrusting up into him, their bodies trembling and drenched with sweat. “Mine, always, Merlin.” “Arthur ,” Merlin said breathlessly . “I’m close,” Arthur whispered, kissing him, and sucking on his full bottom lip. Merlin placed one hand on his own cock stroking himself furiously as Arthur pounded into him with abandon. They shouted loudly as they came, shuddering violently . Merlin let go of his spent cock gripping the shelf as Arthur continued to thrust into him again and again until they could no longer move or form coherent thoughts. “Holy…” Arthur gasped, and Merlin huf fed a laugh. “If that is my punishment I shall have to neglect you more often.” “Such insolence,” Arthur grinned kissing him. “I love you,” Merlin said kissing him back. “I think we should take this to our bed.” “Perhaps you should carry me.” “So, you can kick me again,” Arthur smirked then nipped at his bottom lip then slipped out of Merlin then set him back on his feet. “Get dressed, Mer—lin,” he grinned then pulled up his trousers and retrieved his sleep tunic. “Yes, Sire,” Merlin grinned. Once they were both dressed they put out all the candles and left the library walking back to Arthur ’s chambers. Passing the guards in the corridor Arthur nodded, dismissing them for the night. “You think that’ s a good idea?” Merlin asked. “I’m sleeping with the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth,” Arthur smiled raising an eyebrow , “I’m perfectly safe.” “True,” Merlin chuckled then followed him into the room, and they closed and locked the door. He started the fire in the hearth and lit the candles while Arthur undressed. “W ould you like me to fill the tub for you?” “Merlin, you’re not my servant anymore.” “No, I know , but I don’ t mind.” Arthur looked at him and shook his head, “Y ou really miss it don’ t you.” “Being your servant,” Merlin said then shrugged, “Y es, I guess I do.” “Tell me, Merlin, if you never became my servant…if we never had this shared destiny , what do you think your life would be like now?” Merlin sat down in the chair by the hearth and took of f his boots. He looked at Arthur , shaking his head. “My life…” he said thoughtfully , his voice catching, “I don’ t know…and I don’t want to know .” Arthur moved toward the chair crouching in front of Merlin, taking hold of his hands. “Y ou never wanted anything else for yourself? Surely you had dreams.” “Only to be loved and to be free to use my magic…to be accepted for who I am,” he smiled, “I have that now , Arthur , and there is nothing else I want.” “Just every time I think about how much you suf fered, the pain and the loss, because of me,” Arthur said bringing Merlin’ s hands to his lips. “I just want you to be happy .” “I am, Arthur , believe me,” Merlin said, leaning forward to kiss him, “For the first time in my life I am not afraid. I don’ t have to skulk around in the shadows defending the kingdom anymore. And I finally have you the way I always dreamed of but never dared hope.” “Yes, you do,” Arthur grinned then stood up, “Now , get undressed and let’ s clean up and go to bed. I am exhausted.” “Yes, My Lord,” Merlin smiled. Three weeks later Arthur and Merlin were married in a ceremony in the clearing with the citizens of Camelot, the Druids, Kilgharrah, and even Aithusa looking on. The knights stood behind Arthur , Leon holding a beaming Gavin in his arms while Mor gana walked with Merlin who was dressed in black trousers and a fine purple silk tunic embroidered with silver thread on the collar and the cuf fs. Black shiny boots and a silver circlet on his head. Arthur smiled, his blue eyes shining with tears. Mor gana met her brother ’s gaze then she turned to Merlin smiling brightly . She cupped his cheek and nodded slightly . “You look so handsome,” she said, “I love you, Merlin. I am so pleased that you and Arthur found your way back to each other .” “I love you too, Mor gana,” Merlin said his eyes brimming with tears. “Arthur , you take care of him the way he always took care of you,” Mor gana said. “I will,” Arthur smiled reaching out for Merlin’ s hand as she moved to stand next to a tearful Hunith and Gwaine who kissed her on the forehead before taking hold of her hand. “Ready?” Arthur asked. “Yes,” Merlin grinned taking his place in front of his king, “I love you.” “Always,” Arthur said. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the ancient right of handfasting…” The time of Albion, born fr om Magic’ s sacrifice. The King lives, his legacy shall be the bridge between peace and magic. Emrys and the King, one soul, one heart, one destiny realized. Out of the darkness is born the light. For giveness, r edemption…faith, and love shall r eign. The bloodline unbr oken, a new r eign will triumph. Fr om the last br eath to a new awakening magic shall thrive once again. The world in balance. Life and death ar e restor ed. Long live The King…long live Magic! Giving Up The Ghost - By A-ha Chapter Summary If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Giving Up The Ghost by A-ha Icy road, blinding dark Rolling hills in the distance Open wound, a painful scar Love has left its burning trademark Off the grid, out of bounds Further down into shadow Darkest day and whitest night In harm's way We're chasing rainbows Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurts the most You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Frozen lake soon will flow Frozen ground soon to follow But hey - everything is in your head And what you killed is never dead Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost On what you loved the most On a coal-black sea, the sky's on fire Failed attempts at a funeral pyre Deep as dreams of dark desire The flames are growing ever higher You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Words: 56,035
Chapters: 9/9
The Bed Mishap
Merlin is 6 months pregnant and likes to take advantage of Arthur. When Arthur starts to fight back, things take a turn for the worst. Merlin' mood swings.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Additional Tags: Fluff
Language: English
Published: 2015-10-27
Words: 507
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49
Bookmarks: 1
Hits: 1,180
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)
5 Times Merlin Fell Asleep - And Once That Arthur Did, Too
The five times that Merlin fell asleep, and the one time that Arthur did, too.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Sleep, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Friendship, Fun, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Published: 2011-09-26
Words: 1,312
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 489
Bookmarks: 39
Hits: 7,575
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Coffee Run
Merlin gets some insight into Arthur's life and vice versa.-Snippet left out of The Curse of the Welshman when I compiled all the old one shots in to a proper chapter fic.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Implied Arthur/Merlin
Additional Tags: Coffee Addiction, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Language: English
Published: 2016-02-16
Words: 535
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51
Bookmarks: 1
Hits: 833
Characters: Arthur Pendragon, Merlin (Merlin)
(Not So) Secret Admirer
Merlin's done pretending that he doesn't love Arthur, and so he prepares a plan. Then, all of a sudden, Arthur receives flowers. Who might be his secret admirer? - Merthur, oneshot, starts with the scene in 2x03 The Nightmare Begins, when Merlin brings Morgana flowers, except the flowers are not for her and she isn't in the fanfic :)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Flowers, Episode: s02e03 The Nightmare Begins, Humor, First Kiss
Language: English
Published: 2016-05-15
Words: 3,157
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 11
Kudos: 283
Bookmarks: 29
Hits: 2,798
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Forever is composed of nows
For the Sex Is Not The Enemy ficathon.Prompt: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luoptc9vpo1qlgh3uo1_500.jpg
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Sex Is Not The Enemy, Reincarnation, picture prompt
Language: English
Published: 2013-02-17
Words: 947
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35
Bookmarks: 3
Hits: 948
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Birdsong
A little crinkle of the brow, a little turn of the mouth, and Merlin was caught.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Inspired by Art, Wistful, Friends to Lovers, POV Merlin, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending
Language: English
Published: 2016-11-22
Words: 1,116
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 4
Kudos: 67
Bookmarks: 3
Hits: 1,375
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Heart-Stopping Envy (The Mansion Part 7)
Arthur is behaving differently with Merlin. Catch up on theSeries here
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Published: 2013-08-07
Words: 530
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16
Hits: 1,271
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Confession
Merlin arrives late to Arthur's chambers, but when he enters he finds the prince fast asleep. What will happen?
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Cuddling & Snuggling, Kissing, First Kiss
Language: English
Published: 2017-02-18
Words: 907
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 141
Bookmarks: 6
Hits: 2,576
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Warlocks Cheat in Drinking Competitions
Arthur challenges Merlin to a drinking competition and, well, Merlin's a cheater.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: the knights are there too, Drinking Contest, Fluff, Canon Era, merlin is a cheater
Language: English
Published: 2014-01-05
Words: 452
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 4
Kudos: 117
Bookmarks: 9
Hits: 1,975
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin)
A New Year's Kiss
Gwaine lets Arthur in on a secret and Arthur finally decides to act.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Don’t copy to another site
Language: English
Published: 2014-01-07
Words: 805
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 70
Bookmarks: 4
Hits: 1,738
Categories: F/M, M/M
Relationships: Freya/Merlin (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Something About You, Merlin
Arthur figures out what it is about Merlin that he can't quite put his finger on, and how Merlin fits into his destiny.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Episode Tag, The Moment of Truth, 1x10, merlin 1x10, this is my first fic in five years, the last fics i wrote were all doctor who fics, it was a dark time, arthur is perceptive, Pre-Slash, i guess, arthur talks to kilgarrah, not in the fic but in general, Magic Revealed, all characters are only mentioned except arthur, Arthur's POV, arthur's internal monologue basically
Language: English
Published: 2017-07-27
Words: 727
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 16
Kudos: 154
Bookmarks: 15
Hits: 2,206
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Will (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Merlin, Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon, Will (Merlin)
we're like two halves of one heart
we are, we are, we are.-arthur doesn’t know how to dance. merlin teaches him, and some poetry and awestruck arthur later, they realise the true depth of their feelings.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Dancing, Canon Era, besotted Arthur, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, bc i'm fucking tired of angsty magic reveals, POV Arthur, Based on a Troye Sivan Song, Kinda, Waltzing, mlm author
Language: English
Published: 2017-10-28
Words: 2,206
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 34
Kudos: 665
Bookmarks: 87
Hits: 4,589
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Mentions of: - Character, Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Your Wish is My Command
Merlin unconsciously makes Arthur do things with his magic. Mind control. "All Merlin knows now is that he looked at Arthur and wished really really hard that he could command Arthur like Arthur commanded him..." MerlinxArthur SLASH. Dub-con.
Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (BBC)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Additional Tags: Drama, Horror, Mind Control, Mindfuck, Dubious Consent, Kink Meme, Community: kinkme_merlin
Language: English
Published: 2009-06-02
Words: 4,035
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 3
Kudos: 126
Bookmarks: 18
Hits: 4,387
Characters: Merlin, Arthur Pendragon, Gaius (Merlin), Uther Pendragon
Machines
Merlin tries to teach Arthur how to drive in an empty lot, and finds he's way in over his head.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: okay they say one bad word once, That's it, that's the only reason it's teen and up, Fluff, Merthur - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Learning to Drive
Language: English
Published: 2014-05-18
Words: 455
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 5
Kudos: 88
Bookmarks: 2
Hits: 1,196
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
In the woods
“What?” exclaims Arthur, weak with disbelief, because Merlin really just said that there could be no place for magic in Camelot—no matter that this would sentence one of their knights to death.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Episode: s05e05 The Disir, Magic Revealed, Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Nice Arthur, Observant Arthur, Season/Series 05, First Kiss, Getting Together, Declarations Of Love, Love Confessions, Hugs, Arthur pays attention to Merlin's feelings, Arthur Finds Out, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic
Language: English
Published: 2018-04-12
Words: 1,558
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 24
Kudos: 2,036
Bookmarks: 182
Hits: 19,230
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Mordred (mentioned only)
Life outside of work.
Arthur and Merlin get ready for an interview, Merlin is nervous and Arthur helps him through it. Uther does not expect the outcome.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Confusion, Living Together, Nervousness, Comfort, Jokes
Language: English
Published: 2018-09-09
Words: 1,603
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 87
Bookmarks: 3
Hits: 1,231
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Secrets
Victorian era AU. Agravaine has discovered their secret.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Don’t copy to another site
Language: English
Published: 2014-05-21
Words: 1,225
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 8
Kudos: 137
Bookmarks: 15
Hits: 1,692
Poetic Soul
Arthur was very aggravated at Merlin. "Poetry!" he cried. "Poetry!"Merlin just shrugged dumbly."Poetry!" Arthur cried louder. "You know what, just because you're a big girl, doesn't mean you have to makemeto be!"--Merlin tries to teach Arthur poetry. As usual, Arthur uses it to cut corners in romancing Gwen. Merlin is not pleased by this.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Poetry, Awkward Romance, Love Confessions, Masculinity
Language: English
Published: 2019-07-18
Words: 3,075
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74
Bookmarks: 10
Hits: 1,405
Categories: F/M, M/M
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin)
Together
Merlin really didn't like Arthur when he first became his manservant, but then ... he falls in love. But he knows it can never be, and even if it could, Arthur would never love him back... Right?Prequel to 'Elizabeth'
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Additional Tags: Top Arthur, Bottom Merlin, Sweet Fluff, Getting Together, Love
Language: English
Published: 2014-06-25
Words: 2,519
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 190
Bookmarks: 5
Hits: 4,124
Characters: Merlin, Arthur Pendragon
I'll Catch You When You Fall
After discovering Merlin's magic, Arthur needs time alone to sort through his conflicted feelings. With the Winter Solstice rapidly approaching, Merlin leaves clues to show Arthur that magic isn't inherently evil. Will Arthur be able to overcome his sense of betrayal and confess his own secret?
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Canon Era, Deviates From Canon, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), conflicted Arthur, hurt Arthur, Winter Solstice, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Good Morgana (Merlin), Awesome Gwen (Merlin), Arthur Needs To Work Through Some Things, Sweet Merlin (Merlin), BAMF George, Happy Ending, Artistic License With Solstice Customs
Language: English
Published: 2019-12-28
Words: 9,688
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 69
Kudos: 1,064
Bookmarks: 180
Hits: 7,521
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), George (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin)
When He Wakes, I'll Go
When Merlin is tortured for information, Arthur stands vigil by his bedside.orLate Entry for Whumptober 2019, Day 10: Unconscious.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Whumptober, Whumptober 2019, Day 10, Unconscious, Whump, whumpage, merlin whump, Tumblr Prompt, Prompt Fill, Prompt Fic, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Short One Shot, October Prompt Challenge, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt Merlin, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), hurt Arthur, Protective Arthur, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Worried Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Implied/Referenced Torture, Past Torture, Serious Injuries, Minor Injuries, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Published: 2020-03-04
Words: 431
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 11
Kudos: 559
Bookmarks: 48
Hits: 7,201
Categories: F/M, Gen
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
the situation is fraught
another tumblr drabble i did today to the prompt "I...I need to sit down"!arthur, again, uses his brain, and merlin saves him...with a dash of protective lance and gwaine
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Canon Era, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Protective Knights (Merlin), Arthur has more than two brain cells ofc, it wouldnt be my fic if arthur wasnt smart and loves merlin with his whole being, also wouldnt be me if merlin wasnt a badass who everyone loves (including me), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), im bad at tagsss, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, id die for merthur, okay i give up enjoy
Language: English
Published: 2020-08-01
Words: 1,537
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 24
Kudos: 751
Bookmarks: 68
Hits: 5,197
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin)
looking after you
Merlin is taking longer than usual in returning to Camelot. Arthur starts to worry.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Canon Era, Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, POV Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2020-08-25
Words: 1,468
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 16
Kudos: 364
Bookmarks: 29
Hits: 2,633
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
rise through the night (you and i)
arthur and merlin go hunting on a cold winter day...things get scary when merlin falls into a freezing river.i suck at summaries, but this is a hurt/comfort fic with merlin getting hurt and arthur helping him!
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Arthur takes care of Merlin, i wrote this for a prompt i received!!, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), also a little of, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), bc i cant help myself, also, smart arthur, bc i wrote it, arthur is a good king, he was already weary on the whole hate magic thing so merlin helps him come to the right conclusion, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, i dont like hurting merlin so this was hard for me🥺🥺, but arthur saves merlin, so im okay w it, POV Merlin (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), mostly arthur! which is new for me, it is separated by ~~~~~, BAMF Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2020-10-21
Words: 3,559
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 16
Kudos: 503
Bookmarks: 46
Hits: 6,301
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), can be seen as preslash if you want!!, so - Relationship, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), if you squint, it is supposed to be strong friendship, but i ship them with my entire heart, but i really tried for friendship 🥺😭
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
If I'm Kindling for a Little While, At Least I'd Feel of Use
Arthur is dying. Merlin refuses to let this happen. The old religion has rules, it's always been life for a life, hasn't it?
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Major Character Death
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Whumptober 2020, Self-Sacrifice, Wow who died for the other this time?, That's It that's the Show, anyway, Whump, Angst, Comfort, well I mean there are hugs so, does that count, nothing graphic
Language: English
Published: 2020-10-22
Words: 333
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 8
Kudos: 67
Bookmarks: 7
Hits: 783
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
The Heart of the Dragon
The very first time Prince Arthur of Camelot met Prince Merlin of Mercia, Arthur was seven years old and Merlin was five, and there was that unfortunate incident with the toy dragon. Now they're in their twenties, and their fathers are trying to thrash out a peace treaty between the two countries, while Arthur has to escort Merlin on a high-profile tour of Camelot. Obviously it's going to be the very worst few days of Arthur's life.Written for the Merlin Mpreg Fest 2014.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Mpreg, Modern Royalty, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Prince Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2014-11-16
Words: 22,629
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 151
Kudos: 3,285
Bookmarks: 642
Hits: 49,729
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Aithusa (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin)
The Clockroom
There is a room in the vaults of Camelot, where strange objects tick and tick and tick.When Arthur enters the room for the first time, he knows what the room is and what it's for. But because it is magic, he shouldn't be here. His curiosity takes the better of him and he approaches the immortal clock, a legendary one that belongs to no other than Emrys.It turned out that the clocks throw you forward in time and Arthur falls head first into the moments right after his own death.Follow BBC Merlin's series from Arthur's point of view with a little twist. This time, they will get their happy end... even though nothing changes. #canon compliantEdit: I've tried to continue this. I'm sorry but I really can't. DISCONTINUED
Rating: Not Rated
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin’s Magic (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Fluff, Time Travel, Dragoon, a lot of confusion, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Once and Future King, Immortal Merlin (Merlin), Polyamory, Canon Compliant
Language: English
Published: 2020-02-16
Words: 129,373
Chapters: 15/?
Comments: 88
Kudos: 293
Bookmarks: 61
Hits: 11,666
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Categories: Gen, F/M, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Freya/Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Cornelius Sigan, Freya (Merlin), Mithian (Merlin), Vivian (Merlin), Odin (Merlin), Aithusa (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Geoffrey of Monmouth (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin), Morgause (Merlin), Will (Merlin), Nimueh (Merlin), Ygraine de Bois (Merlin), Knights (Merlin)
Updated: 2023-10-01
"I can explain!"
Stuck in a snowstorm, Arthur meets Aithusa while Merlin is asleep. He immediately loves her.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Canon Era, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Episode: s04e04 Aithusa, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), Protective Arthur, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Pining Merlin (Merlin), Aithusa is a baby, She needs to be protected, Awesome Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2021-02-20
Words: 3,085
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 19
Kudos: 1,994
Bookmarks: 220
Hits: 15,758
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Aithusa & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Aithusa & Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Aithusa (Merlin)
Interrupted
Morgana interrupts Arthur and Merlin's sweet morning, discovering their relationship in the process.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Morning Kisses, Sweet, Dirty Jokes, Fluff, Mentions of Sex, Blushy!Merlin, Silly!Arthur, Fluster!Morgana, nice!Morgana, Secrets must be kept, Secret Relationships
Language: English
Published: 2015-01-19
Words: 612
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 142
Bookmarks: 6
Hits: 3,300
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin, Arthur Pendragon, Morgana Pendragon
We're Here To Stay
Five times in canon that Arthur was afraid of losing Merlin.... and one time the author said "fuck canon." :)All parts have been written and posted! Content & episode tags have been updated accordingly.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, POV Arthur, Canon Compliant, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Worried Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Episode: s01e04 The Poisoned Chalice, Introspection, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Pre-Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Canon Era, Episode: s02e06 Beauty and the Beast, excessive use of metaphors, Foreshadowing, Em Dash My Beloved, Emotional Repression, Episode: s04e01-02 The Darkest Hour, Character Development, Episode: s04e06 A Servant of Two Masters, Minor Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arwen Friendly, Arthur Has Two Hands, that should be a tag???, Open Relationships, Polyamory, Episode: s05e09 With All My Heart, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Hopeful Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2021-05-02
Words: 10,058
Chapters: 6/6
Comments: 67
Kudos: 1,109
Bookmarks: 156
Hits: 14,251
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Agravaine (unfortunately), Mordred (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-05-26
Let us take back the Castle now, and you can behead me later, Sire.
An AU of the season 4 finale, wherein Arthur refuses to abandon his castle during Morgana's seige, and Merlin refuses to use magic to take away Arthur's will, so they're at an impasse.Rather than break his moral code to bewitch Arthur, Merlin decides to break his secrecy. If Arthur doesn't want to leave his Castle... fine. They won't. Merlin will just have to take it back for him... and all that entails.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Episode: s04e12-13 The Sword in the Stone, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Magic Revealed, Merlin Saves the Day (Merlin), Good Morgana (Merlin), Redemption, Slow Burn, First Kiss, Marriage, King Merlin (Merlin), Past Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Happy Ending, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Humor, Banter, Court Sorcerer Merlin (Merlin), Court Sorceress Morgana (Merlin), Minor Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Fuck Uther All My Homies Hate Uther, Arthur is chill about Merlin's magic, Especially when he realizes that Merlin is like the king of the druids and they can get married, For "political reasons", Shut up arthur you just wanna tap that ass, Merlioske-friendly
Language: English
Published: 2021-04-06
Words: 39,790
Chapters: 12/12
Comments: 438
Kudos: 6,800
Bookmarks: 1,457
Hits: 122,144
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Morgana (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Aithusa (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Other(s), Agravaine (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-04-26
Promposal
Merlin is left frustrated all day as Arthur acts strangely. aka the three times Arthur tries to ask his best friend Merlin to prom, and the one time he succeeds.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Promposal, Prom, Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - High School
Language: English
Published: 2015-04-07
Words: 1,811
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 15
Kudos: 297
Bookmarks: 15
Hits: 4,257
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin)
Wish dragon *
*inspired by Netflix movie "wish dragon".When Arthur runs away from home, he has an encounter with an annoying dragon who is stuck inside a tea pot.Apparently, the dragon offers three wishes to whoever frees him.Naturally, Arthur is an idiot. So he wishes to be a king.
Rating: Not Rated
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Gwen Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Wish Fulfillment, Wishes, Wishful Thinking, Be Careful What You Wish For, Jinn, magic dragon, Three Wishes, Bisexual Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2021-07-02
Words: 23,847
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 29
Kudos: 208
Bookmarks: 36
Hits: 3,846
Categories: Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Kilgharrah & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Mithian & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Elena & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur & Magic (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Mithian (Merlin), Elena (Merlin)
No One Hurts Merlin
Merlin, Arthur, and Leon are captured while on a quest, by a woman claiming to have a way to identify Emrys. The way? Poison.Written for Merlin Bingo 2022: Protective Arthur
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Leon Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Kind Of, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, Gentle Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Awesome Leon (Merlin), i can't write
Language: English
Published: 2022-03-05
Words: 5,101
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 14
Kudos: 1,982
Bookmarks: 198
Hits: 16,392
Categories: Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), barely - Relationship, platonic or romantic - Relationship, Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin)
Just say it ....
Raising Arthur to believe he shouldn't show any love Uther is quickly forced to get Arthur to ignore all he taught him when Ygraine gets involved after Arthur loses the love of his life due to what he had been taught
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Romance, Happy Ending, Forced Marriage, True Love, Off-screen Relationship(s), Angst
Language: English
Published: 2015-04-17
Words: 4,055
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 6
Kudos: 170
Bookmarks: 28
Hits: 4,641
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Ygraine de Bois/Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor/Hunith (Merlin), Gwaine/Percival (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Ygraine de Bois (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin)
Arthur's Lesson
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: AU, bros, Arthur is an idiot, But they love him, inspired by the fabulous work done by the castle guards, seriously, top notch
Language: English
Published: 2015-06-01
Words: 1,660
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21
Bookmarks: 2
Hits: 549
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Uther (mentioned), Gaius (mentioned)
From Madrid to Hawaii
Work page not found or no link in PDF; showing extracted metadata.
“Absolutely not,” Merlin said, looking at his husband as if he had two heads, “You’re eight months pregnant Arthur! I’m not going to let you fly to another country regardless of whether I’m with you or not!” Notes For Saja and part of the BBC Merlin Father's Mpreg Fest “Absolutely not,” Merlin said, looking at his husband as if he had two heads, “You’re eight months pregnant Arthur! I’m not going to let you fly to another country regardless of whether I’m with you or not!” Arthur huffed and leaned back on the couch, rubbing his large stomach. “It’s your fault I’m like this anyway,” he replied, “And it’s not like we could take a trip after the baby is born, at least not for awhile, and even then we won’t be able to do everything we would have otherwise.” Merlin sighed and sat down next to Arthur, wrapping his arms around him. Arthur shifted on the couch, leaning against Merlin’s chest and closing his eyes. Merlin held him close, pressing a soft kiss into Arthur’s golden hair. The pregnancy had not been an easy one. Merlin's magic helped as much as it could in keeping the baby and Arthur healthy, but it worsened the side effects. Merlin always worried for him, though Arthur told him not to. Arthur was strong, yes, but Merlin loved him too much to let anything happen. The rest of the evening passed uneventfully, watching Toy Story again because Arthur wanted to, cuddling on the couch. Merlin helped Arthur up despite his protests that it really wasn't necessary and helped him into bed. "You know I love you more than anything," Merlin whispered into Arthur's back, "I won't let anything happen to you." "I love you too," Arthur replied, "Get some sleep, idiot." Merlin laughed, "Prat." Even after Arthur's breathing evened out, Merlin lay awake. He knew that Arthur had started feeling trapped by the limitations of pregnancy, but it wasn't safe to take him anywhere this far along. When Arthur had first gotten pregnant, he had been unsure about wanting to carry, but after a series of conversations with Merlin, Morgana, Gwen, and Dr. Gaius, he decided he could do it. For the most part he loved it, especially the extent to which he could get Merlin to do things for him. But Merlin could see that there was still that little bit of reluctance, the fear that something will go wrong, the fear it would change everything too much for them to handle. Merlin pulled Arthur closer to him and swore that he would do everything he could to take away the fear. ***** Where was he? Arthur sighed and began pacing, well, waddling around their living room. The past few days Merlin had seemed distracted and distant, and now he was late to their date night that he had suggested. Was there someone else? would he have to do this by himself? Arthur steadied himself against the end of the cough. No, that was ridiculous. This was Merlin, they love each other and it will stay that way. Before he could continue speculating the door flew open and there was Merlin. "What are you wearing?" Arthur exclaimed, staring at his husband, who appeared to be in a pilot's uniform, but with a bouree on his head and a lei around his neck. "Mr. Pendragon, welcome!" Merlin said, beaming, "Please come aboard, it's time to depart!" Merlin helped him out of their house, where they were greeted by a convertible that definitely did not belong to them. "I rented it," Merlin explained as he opened the door for Arthur, "And off we go!" As they drove, Arthur studied Merlin, who kept glancing at Arthur, trying to gage his reaction. Finally, they came to a stop in front of the local football stadium where Arthur's pick up team plays. Merlin jumped out of the car and rushed to help Arthur. The stadium seemed empty when they entered, but Merlin led him to a seat anyway. Arthur was about to ask what Merlin was doing when a voice brought his attention to the pitch. "Welcome amigo to the amazing perro fight of Madrid!" Gwaine cheered from down below, wearing tights and a ridiculous sparkling jacket, and holding a bright red cloth. "Ehrm... He means toro, like a bull," Merlin explained, then yelled down at Gwaine, "Stop trying to speak Spanish!" Then the music started to swell, and another figure ran out onto the pitch. It was Percy, wearing all brown and a pair of horns. Gwaine would wave his red cloth, and Percy would run at it, just as if it was a real bull fight. However, Gwaine wasn't quick enough, and Percy tackled him to the ground. Both Merlin and Arthur laughed as Percy held up the red cloth in victory. He then jumped over the barrier separating the field from the seats, and ran up to Arthur and Merlin. “Here you go,” Percy said, and with a flourish, gave Arthur a small Spanish flag. “And off we go!” Merlin exclaimed, and led Arthur out of the stadium and back to the car. As they drove again, Arthur turned to Merlin and asked, “What are we doing?” “Travelling,” was the reply, “I know you want to on a big trip, but that’s not advisable this far along, so I decided to bring the destinations to you!” Once again, they came to a stop, but this time it was in front of a park. Instead of a walk, Merlin led him to a carriage and with a nod, they began clopping down the path. Arthur kept an eye out for a clue as to what they were doing here, but none came until they came to a stop. In front of a piñata in the shape of the Eiffel Tower. “I couldn’t find just a statue,” Merlin said, “And you can’t do France without the Eiffel Tower. But don’t worry, we’re not going to break it.” Arthur laughed and walked over to the paper mache landmark, “It’s very realistic,” he commented. “Now wait right there,” Merlin replied, and pulled out a disposable camera, “Can’t visit without a picture to remember it by!” Arthur just laughed harder, and missed the flash that went off. Merlin grabbed his hand, and dragged him down the path a little farther, where they met Gwen. All around her there were papers taped to the trees, threatening to escape with the breeze. “Welcome to the Louvre!” Gwen said, spreading her hands to encompass the pictures around her, “Please, no flash photography, as it can harm the paintings. If you’ll follow me, I’d be happy to give you a tour.” Gwen and Arthur walked around to each of the individual “paintings” and she told him the history and style of both the picture and the work. Merlin stood off to the side and watched smiling as they got into a deep discussion about one of the paintings. He was so lucky to have a partner as amazing as Arthur, and friends like Gwen, who put so much time into helping him do this for Arthur. “Merlin?” Arthur asked, cupping his neck, “Are you alright? You spaced out a little there.” Merlin just beamed back and replied, “Yeah I’m great. Ready for the next stop?” Arthur smiled and waved his little French flag in response. Arm in arm, the two of them went back to the carriage. On the way back to the car, Arthur rested his head on Merlin’s shoulder, absentmindedly twirling the flag in his fingers. “How did you know which paintings I wanted to see?” he asked suddenly, looking up at Merlin, who smiled softly. “I remembered you mentioning some of them,” he replied, “But Gwen picked out the rest.” Arthur squeezed Merlin’s hand. “Thank you,” he said. “We’ll go to the actual museum, I promise,” Merlin replied firmly, “I know this just isn’t the same.” “It was wonderful,” Arthur reassured him. “It’s not over yet!” Merlin reminded him, and helped him into the car, “Two more stops!” They heard their next destination before they saw it. The strains of Opera could be heard from down the street, and the two men just laughed. “Lance?” Arthur asked, and Merlin nodded. “I promise it’s not an opera though,” Merlin reassured him, “After that incident at Barber of Seville I know better.” Arthur looked abomished. “The insistence on silence is very modern! Excuse me for being traditional!” “Getting Gwaine to sneak a cat on stage? That’s traditional?” Merlin replied, shaking his head. “It happened the first performance,” Arthur defended. “Because it was being sabotaged!” Merlin exclaimed, “You could have just said that opera wasn’t really your thing, it really would have been sufficient.” Arthur just huffed as Merlin parked the car on the side of the road. Lance stood nearby with a boombox at his feet. He beamed at the couple as they got out of the car and turned off the music. The three of them walked over to the playground nearby. Arthur looked at the two of them, incredulous. “I know I’m pregnant, but the baby is still inside. You know that, right?” Merlin rolled his eyes as Lance replied, “We’re going on an archeological dig.” ***** “I found an Aphrodite!” Arthur exclaimed happily, holding up the small statue as proof. “Awesome!” Merlin replied happily, “Put him over there, next to my Athena.” Arthur did carefully, and examined their handiwork. They had found five statues of gods, ten pottery pieces, and eight glasses. All they had left was to uncover the village. He examined the remainder of the sandbox, searching for a good spot to continue digging. “I think I found it!” Merlin exclaimed, and motioned for Arthur to come over. Together with their brightly colored plastic shovels, buckets, and sieves, they began to dig in the right-hand corner of the box. Sure enough, they had found the village, complete with little people in their homes. The two of them beamed at each other, proud of all the hard work they had done in the sandbox for the past hour. “Congratulations!” Lance said, smiling, “Arthur, you’ve earned this,” and he handed him a small Italian flag. Together, Merlin and Arthur made their way back to the car, holding hands and laughing. “I can’t believe you arranged us to play in a sandbox,” Arthur laughed, still holding Merlin’s hand as he drove them to their final destination. “I didn’t,” Merlin admitted, smiling slightly, “I just asked Lance to do something Italian. I was expecting food.” “I had a lot of fun,” Arthur replied, “Where to next?” Merlin glanced over quickly and said, “What makes you think I’ll tell you? We’re almost there.” He parked the car by the river and a figure jogged up to open Arthur’s door. “Aloha!” Elyan said, grinning. He was wearing a bright pink Hawaiian shirt with flowers decorating them. He completed the ensemble with cargo shorts, flip flops, and a bucket hat. “Welcome to the exclusive resort!” he welcomed, throwing a lei around Arthur’s neck. He led them towards the water, where he had set up two lounging beach chairs. After helping Arthur into his, Merlin took his own seat, grinning. Around the chairs there were a few inflatable palm trees, a few tiki candles, and in front of the river there were two poles that were supporting a beach scene in between them. Elyan went behind the image and came out with drinks to give to both Arthur and Merlin. Merlin was about to ask Elyan about alcohol, which Arthur couldn’t have while pregnant, but Elyan answered before he even had a chance to ask. “It’s pineapple juice,” he explained, “No alcohol, but it can help with… other things,” and he winked before pulling a remote out of his pocket and pressing a button. Beach music filled the air and they laughed into their juice. “It wouldn’t be Hawaii without dancing,” Elyan said smirking, “I present to you now our favorite luau dancer!” From behind the beach scene came Leon, wearing a grass skirt and a coconut bra, his hair pulled back in a small bun. Merlin and Arthur howled in laughter as Leon seemed to prep himself, back facing them and standing up straighter. He turned around with as much flair as possible, exclaiming “Luau!” as excited as possible. He swayed his hips and waved his arms to the beat of the music. Merlin looked over at Arthur, who was laughing so hard that he was crying. Their eyes met, and they reached out and took each other’s hands. Arthur mouthed “Thank you, I love you,” and Merlin just mouthed “I love you too.” Then they turned their attention back to the show. Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Character: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Leon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Mpreg, pregnant!arthur, Fluff
Published: 2015-06-20
Words: 2078
Witch Boy
Work page not found or no link in PDF; showing extracted metadata.
“Hey , what are you doing!” “What do you think, Merlin?” Arthur asks, rolling his eyes. Is this Merlin serious? “I’m getting some full bars.” The witch boy huf fs and stamps his foot. “And I told you that you shouldn’ t go there!” Arthur only smirks. “What? Scared of the isolated house at the corner of the neighborhood?” Notes if this feels somewhat familiar to you, it probably is Welcome, people of Ao3, to Fluf fy's repost of older fic collection (yes, this are repost of my older fics, yes i did write them) the first to be revealed is W itch Boy! Hope you enjoy!
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive W arning: Creator Chose Not T o Use Archive W arnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV) Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round T able & Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round T able (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin) Additional T ags: Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Background Relationships, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), he's got youngest child ener gy, witch!merlin, Witch AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Mutual Pining, oblivious idiots, what do you mean that's not a tag???, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Merlin is a Little Shit (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), Protective Knights (Merlin), Long-Suf fering Leon (Merlin), as always, Other Additional T ags to Be Added, no beta we die like arthur's childhood, Mythical Beings & Creatures Language: English Stats: Published: 2023-01-19 Words: 10, 454 Chapters: 2/2 Witch Boy by fluffypoato Summary “Hey, what are you doing!” “What do you think, Merlin?” Arthur asks, rolling his eyes. Is this Merlin serious? “I’m getting some full bars.” The witch boy huf fs and stamps his foot. “And I told you that you shouldn’ t go there!” Arthur only smirks. “What? Scared of the isolated house at the corner of the neighborhood?” Notes if this feels somewhat familiar to you, it probably is Welcome, people of Ao3, to Fluf fy's repost of older fic collection (yes, this are repost of my older fics, yes i did write them) the first to be revealed is W itch Boy! Hope you enjoy! Chapter 1 Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes “Okay, think you got everything?” his mother asks. “Yes, mum, I’ve got my belt and my sword and my sack.” Arthur rolls his eyes at his mother ’s fussing. Really, he’s ten years old now . He’ s trick-or -treating all on his own with his friends. He’ s a big boy . Arthur ’s mother smiles softly, brushing her pale wig from her face. His mother had decided to match with Arthur ’s knight costume and go as a queen from the renaissance. Her dress is a deep scarlet that she got at Party City with a plastic, gold circlet wrapped around her head. “Just double checking, little lion.” She goes to kiss his forehead. “Now, don’ t you look regal!” she says admiring his costume. While his mother ’s costume is simple with only a few accessories, Arthur ’s is a bit more detailed since he told his mother that he wanted to look like a “real” and “authentic” knight like the ones he hears in the fairy tales she reads to him. His leather boots are a light brown, his trousers are black and loose with a brown belt holding his wooden sword, and his tunic is red with a black hood stitched round his collar . Arthur preened at his mother ’s praises on his costume and did a little spin. It’ s a silly spin, in his opinion, but it's just him and his mother . He can act silly in front of her . She giggles at him and spins herself. “Do you think I look lovely, sir knight?” “I think you look beautiful, my lady, ” he answers, kissing his mother ’s knuckles while she laughs. The sound of the doorbell is heard even though faint. Arthur ’s mother composes herself brushing of f imaginary dust from her gown. She crouches down to Arthur and does some last minute fixes. Usually, he would fuss and complain, but let her continue since he, too, didn’ t want this moment to end. “Now, don’ t forget to say thank you after being given candy and make sure to come back home no later than eleven thirty, okay?” “Yes, Mum.” She smiles wide, showing of f her white teeth and pinches Arthur ’s cheeks. “And don’ t forget to have fun, little lion. It’ s Halloween.” Arthur giggles and shoves her hands from his cheeks. Just before he leaves, his mother does some last minute fussing. Brushing of f his tunic, fixing the sleeves over and over -- “Mum! I can’ t go trick-or -treating if you keep me here!” His mother sighs and looks over at him one last time before nodding. Arthur nods in return and smiles before exiting his house to meet up with his friends. T oday is Halloween, and it’ s a full moon he discovers when looking at the sky . Already, Arthur can tell that this Halloween was going to be great. Some twenty houses later, Arthur has a sack full of candy along with his other friends. Heavy as it was, Arthur slings it over his back while venturing of f to the next house that Gwaine claims has full bars. “Full bars, guys! None of that fun-size stuff. Trust me!” “Last time I trusted you, I ended up with a face full of dirt and got grounded by my mother, ” grumbles Percival. “Oh come on, Perce!” Gwaine laughs, messing with his scruf fy wig. “Y ou know I never meant for that to happen! I got in trouble too, you know .” Gwaine gives Percival the biggest, pleading eyes Arthur has ever seen and scof fs. “Don’ t fall for it, Percival. He’ll just get you into more trouble next time.” Leon and Lancelot chuckle nervously while Elyan nods in agreement. Both Leon and Lancelot dressed as knights with Arthur while Gwaine thought to go as a werewolf. Pecival said he was a jedi. Elyan dressed as an assassin, but unfortunately, had to keep correcting the parents on who he was. Apparently, Robin Hood was a popular guess that was given. Elyan also brought his little sister who was dressed as Batgirl. “It’s true Percy! Gwaine gave me those puppy eyes and the next thing I know we’re sneaking off to prank his brothers…” Elyan trails of f, looking far of f into the distance haunted. “I almost died.” Elyan's sister sighs exasperatedly . “Yeah, and then I had to save you from getting caught by our dad, remember?” “And I am ever grateful for your aid, Gwen.” He ruf fles her hair while Gwen squawks and smacks his arm away . “Elyan! It took Mum hours to get my hair like this!” She pats down her straightened hair as good as a child can while Elyan rolls his eyes. Eventually, they reach the alleged house that holds full sized bars. Maybe it was how late the night had gotten, but the house looked very ominous to Arthur . The lights were a dim orange. Not the bright white like the other houses that passed by . It was also at the corner of the neighborhood, making it feel secluded and isolated. No decorations were found on the lawn. Only a small wooden Jack-o-lantern hanging on the door . Arthur had a bad feeling. He looked at his other friends, gaging their reactions. Gwaine looked excited as ever . Elyan was busy talking to his sister, so even if Elyan did make a reaction, Arthur wouldn’ t know . Percival looked worried, but that just might be because Gwaine looks like he might explode. Leon and Lancelot did exchange concerned glances to each other and to Arthur, so there’ s that. “Is this really the place?” Leon finally asked. “Of course!” Gwaine scof fed and puf fed up his chest. “This is the place that my brothers would always talk about every year . They would always come with full bars and tell me about this house.” “I dunno, Gwaine, ” Lancelot answers, “Y ou know that your brothers tend to…” “Prank us all the time?” Arthur finishes for him. He notices movement behind the window and grips his sack tighter . Gwaine makes a noise of protest but sags. “Okay, I know that my brothers are pranksters, but so am I. It’ s a family thing. But, lying about full sized candy bars? They would never . Scout’ s honor!” Everyone raised their eyebrows at that. Elyan rolls his eyes and fiddles with his bucket. “Well, if they are lying about the candy bars, we can just get back at them, eh?” The gang nods in agreement and starts walking up to the ominous house. The wind picks up and Arthur shivers. He looks up at the full moon, watching as the clouds begin to cover its silver glow . Arthur looks back at the house. W ith the now cloudy sky, the house looks darker and even more foreboding than it was before. Chills run down his arms and not from the wind. It’s probably nothing, Arthur repeats over and over in his head. It’s all my imagination. Nothing is wr ong with the house. It’ s just Halloween. “You should probably stop your friends from going there.” Arthur startles at the sudden voice next to him. It was a boy . A boy with light blue eyes. “Who-who are you?” The boy smiles and reaches out his hand. “I’m Merlin.” Arthur looks down at the hand then back at Merlin’ s face. He’ s about the same height as Arthur as far as he can tell. T o be honest, the costume Merlin was wearing was odd. It looks like a dress that’ s been worn down with tears at the end but really, was a blue, faded robe. The odd boy also has a worn, blue hat to match. Merlin’ s boots are red like his scarf but pointed (and not leather, Arthur ’s brain feels the need to add). Merlin tilts his head and raises his brow while Arthur stays frozen next to him. W orried he’d been silent for too long, Arthur blurts out the first thing that came to his mind: “Why are your ears so big?” Merlin huf fed and covered his now red ears. Arthur cringed. He doesn’ t really know what he was trying to say, but he didn’ t mean for it to sound rude. “They are not! Y ou're just a prat!” Arthur sputters. “I’m a what?” “A prat!” Merlin snif fs and crosses his arms. His ears are still red, but it seems that that isn’ t his main focus anymore. “Well you’re a–a… what are you supposed to be?” “I’m certainly not a prat!” Merlin huf fs, stomping his feet. “I meant your costume, ” he sighs, gesturing to Merlin’ s clothing. “Y ou don’ t look like a sorcerer, but with the hat… are you trying to be a wizard?” “Trying to be a– I’m a witch!” Arthur assesses Merlin and his costume. It could work but lacks ef fort. Seems to him that Merlin just pulled on whatever and called it a day . Arthur shrugs and pulls his sack over his shoulder . “Alright then, witch, did you come for the full bars?” “Full bars?” Merlin asks, his wide eyes blinking. It’ s as if he’ s never heard the word before. Arthur rolls his eyes. “Full bars. Y ou know, candy bars that aren’ t fun-sized?” More wide staring. “Just–look, it’ s candy bars full sized. None of that small sized stuf f, okay?” Merlin nods slowly . Arthur sighed for the umpteenth time. By now, he bets that his friends have already reached the house and got all of Arthur ’s favorites. He turns toward where the corner house resides and heads to its door . He can already see that his friends have reached the front porch. “Hey, what are you doing!” “What do you think, Merlin?” Arthur asks, rolling his eyes. Is this Merlin serious? “I’m getting some full bars.” The witch boy huf fs and stamps his foot. “And I told you that you shouldn’ t go there!” Arthur only smirks. “What? Scared of the isolated house at the corner of the neighborhood?” Merlin sputters, and Arthur takes that as his cue to continue up the incline to the front porch. The porch light is of f now, so he can’ t see his friends. Strange. W ere they always of f? He could have sworn the porch light was brightly shining a second ago. Arthur doesn’ t get that much time to think of it though because Merlin decides to shake out of his sputtering and run after him. “I’m not scared, clotpole! This house is isolated for a reason, and it shouldn’ t be disturbed.” “What are you nattering on about? It’ s just a house and- wait, what did you just call me?” “Not important.” The nerve! “What’ s important is that whatever is in that house is dangerous and is using these... full bars to lure you inside just like it did to your friends!” Arthur is really starting to get annoyed by this guy . First he calls him a prat, then a clotpole? What is his deal? “Look, I know it’ s Halloween and all, but I’m pretty sure...this is just a regular house that gives out full bars. Also, how do you still not know what those are? Did your parents only give you fun-sized or something? That’ s pretty sad, now that I think about it. Y ou’re missing out.” Merlin’ s cheeks flush and Arthur can tell that the boy was restraining himself from saying something. Most likey, a great many things. That may not be appropriate. Okay, maybe Arthur went a bit too far about the fun-sized thing, but seriously, what is his deal? If anything, Merlin was probably told that this house is haunted or whatever just so he wouldn’ t go there for the full bars. When the duo reached the porch, the lights went on. Arthur had to blink a bit since he was just in the dark moments before. After gathering his bearings, he looked around the oddly silent porch and found...nothing. Just an empty, silent, friendless porch. Huh...this was fine. Did they already receive the candy and continue trick-or -treating without him? Arthur wouldn’ t be surprised. What with Gwaine’ s ener getic nature added with the Smith siblings’ competitive one for collecting candy . They might have left him behind on accident, also. Arthur would’ve thought that they’d at least wait. Maybe that’ s why the porch light went of f again. “Rats, ” Merlin mutters. Arthur frowns and looks back at the witch boy . “What?” Merlin huf fs and fiddles with his torn sleeve. “This was what I’ve been trying to tell you. It’ s not normal at all! Listen, it’ s--” “Why hello there!” There’ s an old woman at the door . She’ s very tall, or maybe it’ s just her lar ge hair . Arthur can’t tell. Either way, she startles both of them. Merlin squeaked and Arthur ...did not. “My, aren’ t you two precious! Like little rabbits being strangled by a hunter ’s strong grip.” Eerily strange comparison...but Arthur will let it pass because it’ s Halloween, and he knows that sometimes the people giving candy want to be more eccentrically spooky for the holiday . He should know since Elyan and Gwen’ s dad does the same thing. Only, their dad’ s antics don’t give him the instinct to run like Hell, but he digresses. “Now, I’m afraid that my bowl is empty at the moment since that last group finished it all. They were quite the crowd. Especially that boy dressed up as a werewolf.” She giggles, and it sounds hauntingly of f-key . “That boy grabbed a lot of them, he did. Caused a huge dispute between them all.” Arthur missed all that? Of course Gwaine would do something like that. He bets it was Leon who reprimanded him or it could be Lancelot. However, that does answer Arthur ’s question on whether they did get here. All of them were here, got the full bars, and left without even leaving any spares for him. “I hope you don’ t mind waiting while I go get some more.” Merlin nods his head fervently . Arthur ’s almost sure that if he shook his head faster, it would snap of f. “No need, madame, so sorry for your low supply . We’ll just be on our–” “We can wait.” “ Arthur! ” He hears Merlin hiss at him. Arthur doesn’ t care. He wants those full bars, dangit! So what if his friends left him. He came all this way, and he is not leaving because Mer lin is too scared of a house separated from the others in the neighborhood. “Oh how lovely! I may just give you half a box for being so kind!” Brilliant. T ake that Gwaine. The old woman claps her hands while Merlin is burning holes on the side of Arthur ’s head. The woman turns inside the house and pauses. What now? “Oh but, you know, what? It’ s just so cold outside. Are you sure you don’ t want to wait inside where it's warm? I promise I’ll be quick!” Arthur frowns this time. “If you’ll be quick, then we don’ t have to wait indoors. Besides, we’ve been out here for hours.” W ell, Arthur has. He doesn’ t know about Merlin, but it’ s almost eleven. Usually, people don't start trick-or -treating that late. The woman nods in a stif f, uncordial way . “Yes, but that was when you were running around. You’ll begin to feel the cold standing out there for so long.” Again, Arthur feels a rise of unease. He can’ t believe that he’ s starting to reconsider what Merlin said before. It’ s a ridiculous theory, at best, but it could have some merit anyway . If so, Arthur is beginning to think that his friends never left this house. “You just said you would be quick, ” Merlin replies. His arms are crossed and he stares up at the woman raising an eyebrow . The old woman’ s brow twitches. Y eah, the alarm bells are definitely ringing. “Well, dear child, it all depends on if I am able to find them fast enough. Of course, I’m just not at that age anymore.” She sighs, placing a wrinkled hand on her cheek. W ere her nails always that sharp and long? “Sometimes, I fear my memory gets a little splotchy . You younglings just don’ t understand the struggles that come from being old. Y ou’re fresh...like a ripe tomato or a delectable piglet.” Okay! If Arthur hadn’ t already been considering it, those comparisons are a red flag enough! As much as Arthur now wants to be very far away from this woman, he knows his friends are in danger . They came to this house just before him in hopes of getting full bars, and now are trapped somewhere inside this house. He has to go in. “You are definitely right, madam.” He hears Merlin hissing at him again. “It has gotten a little nippy outside. I’m sure we can wait indoors while you restock your candy bowl.” The woman grins. Her lips are stretched so thin, Arthur ’s surprised that they haven't split yet. She turns back to go inside and Arthur follows. Merlin tugs on his sleeve last minute, though. “What are you thinking?” Merlin exclaims in a hushed tone. “I swear, if this is about the full bars, I am going to scream–” “This isn’ t about the bars, you idiot! Not after that! ” “Then why are you going inside!” Arthur turns fully to Merlin. The hat is titled now, close to obscuring his vision on Merlin’ s left side. The look on the witch boy’ s face is stormy . His blue eyes alight and fiery . Arthur holds his gaze and stares down with his own stormy expression. (W ell, he hopes it’ s stormy .) “My friends were just here, and I don’ t remember seeing—or hearing, actually, Gwaine is pretty loud—any of my friends leave this house. She’ s hiding them somewhere and we’re going to find them.” Merlin is quiet for a while. His expression morphs to one of exasperation, understanding and then he sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll help you find your friends, but we have to be quick about this. Who knows how long she’ll be ‘restocking’ her candy bowl.” Arthur feels his stomach uncoil with relief. He doesn’ t know if he could wander around this house on his own. He won’ t let Merlin know that, though. “Great, any ideas on where to start first?” Merlin hums in consideration then snaps his fingers. “The basement might be our best bet.” “Oh fun, let’ s definitely start in the most horror movie cliche location.” “The what?” Arthur looks over at Merlin, who blinks back. He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. Merlin still looks innocently confused. “Horror ...movie?” “You have got to be kidding me.” And so, the duo quietly sneaked to where the basement door was. Neither of them knew where exactly the basement was, but they were in too deep to back out now . Both of them would always check behind their backs to ensure that the old woman wasn’ t right behind them. It didn’ t help that the rest of the house was dark and empty just like how it was outside. Almost everything in this house is decomposed. The wind easily slips through the cracks, the walls covered in mold, and all the rooms look like they were rotting. The stench was awful as well, like soured milk mixed with sewage water and last week’ s dinner . Arthur does his best to ignore the smell. Merlin looks unfazed by it all though as they continue wandering around the hall. He really is weird. “It better not be near the kitchen, ” Arthur mutters to distract himself. Merlin nods as he closes the door beneath the stairs. Fortunately, it doesn’ t creak. Actually, now that Arthur thinks about it, none of the doors they have opened made any noise. The floors don't even squeak when stepped on despite how decomposed they look. Everything is quiet. A nice advantage to have when venturing the house of what Arthur assumes was a cannibal. “Do you want to check just in case?” Merlin whispers. “It wouldn’ t hurt.” Except the fact that the old woman is likely in there doing who knows what and wants to eat them. “W e’ll have to be quick about it, though.” Merlin rolls his eyes as they turn back to where the kitchen resides. “No, let me take the rest of the night in the one place where she is and pray we don’ t get caught.” The boy sighs. “I’m not an idiot, and who put you in char ge? I know what I’m doing.” “Sure, witch boy–” “Stop calling me that!” “So far, your plan has been to open every door in this house, including the ones upstairs to find the basement. See any flaws in that plan?” “Well–-we haven’ t even been upstairs!” “That’ s because I said that part of the plan was stupid.” Merlin mutters something about prattish humans and not respecting other ’s plans, but Arthur ignores it. The kitchen light is on, but no shadows or sounds to indicate if she’ s still inside. Good for them since that means they can sneak in without the fear of being seen, but also bad because now they have no clue where she is. Maybe she’ s in the basement. Arthur hopes not. “See any doors?” “Just the one for the fridge.” “Well, ” Arthur breathes out, “guess we have to venture in to see more.” “Guess so.” Merlin fixes his hat and nods to Arthur . The kitchen also looks decomposed. Scraped of f yellow paint on the counters, ripped of f red wallpaper, and black soot on the ceiling. Mold and mildew cover most of the tile floor and the stove is black with grease. The burning smell from the burners is awful, and Arthur hopes that the acrid smell is solely from the smoke mixing with the mildew . Once he finds his friends and gets out of here, Arthur is going straight home and having hot cocoa. “Arthur!” Arthur turns to Merlin who is frantically pointing at a door to the far right. Unlike the white door they entered in, this door is black and looks the most put together out of the whole kitchen. When Arthur walks over to Merlin, the witch boy opens it and inside are stairs leading down to a pitch black basement. “Alright then, guess we better go down.” Arthur goes to step down the stairway . “Are you out of your mind!” Merlin hisses, grabbing Arthur ’s arm and yanking him back into the kitchen Arthur frowns confused. “We made it to the basement, and my friends are down there. Let’ s go save them.” “Yes, but look, we could be blindly handing ourselves over to that lady for all we know! I know your friends are down there, but we need a plan if we want to get them and us out of here alive.” “And how exactly are you going to do that, Merlin?” “Magic of course.” “Magic? Look, I know you’re dressed up as a witch, but you must know that magic isn’ t real.” “I’m not dressed up! I’m a—oh for get. So, what’ s the big plan, sire.” “Thank you for asking, Merlin. Obviously, we have to be careful where we step since those floors look like they might snap of f. As for the chance if she’ s down there, one of us will have to distract her while the other frees my friends.” “Okay, so I distract while you free your friends?, '' says Merlin, nodding his head. Arthur blinks at Merlin who’ s looking back. Merlin was a scrawny kid compared to Arthur, but has no hesitation to volunteer himself as bait to distract someone who, quite frankly, will be giving Arthur nightmares later . “Are you sure? I can distract her while you free them.” Merlin shakes his head and turns to face the dark stairway . “They’re your friends, Arthur . I know you’re worried about them. Besides, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve.” “Is it magic?” Arthur jokes, lifting an eyebrow at him. Merlin only smiles. His blue eyes gleam with mischief and Arthur feels himself relax just for a minute. W ith newfound determination, the two of them headed down the dark staircase. The old woman was down there, of course. Thankfully, her back was to the duo, but in front of her was a huge cauldron with blue flames flaring beneath it. W ith each odd ingredient the woman threw, the liquid inside changed color . Neon green to a pale pink to purple to orange. If he wasn’ t so concerned about finding his friends, Arthur would have found it fascinating, but now wasn’ t the time to be frozen staring at a color changing cauldron soup. At the far corner he spots a giant cage, and inside it, his friends. None of them appear hurt from where he stands, but with how dark it is, they could be. He hopes not. Leon is the one who spots him first unsurprisingly . He was always the attentive and observant one out of the group. Arthur sees him minutely shake his head. He ignores it though. They’re his friends. As if he would abandon them! He looks over at Merlin who nods. Arthur is far enough away to not be noticed by the woman if she turns over to Merlin. Here’ s to hoping that their plan works. “I thought you said you would be quick.” Her hands still while the cauldron bubbles a ripe red. She turns around, stretching her lips into that thin smile. Maybe it’ s just the bright color of the soup...thing, but her hair appears to look an even darker red, similar to blood. Not to mention her wrinkles seem more pronounced than they did when Arthur was standing on her porch. He hears the woman respond with something creepy about piglets, and Merlin answers with a snark. Focus. Arthur shakes his head and continues to the cage. Now that he’ s closer, he can see his friends better and fortunately, no one has any bruises or scratches. Arthur sighs inwardly . He doesn’ t know what he would’ve done if he found any of them hurt. He crouches over to where Leon is. So far he’ s the only one who’ s conscious. “Everyone okay?” Leon nods. “Y eah, she knocked us out with something the minute we got inside.” Arthur shakes his head mockingly . “What are you doing going in stranger ’s houses Leon. You’re twelve years old. Now a ten year old has to save your sorry hide.” Leon rolls his eyes and smiles though it’ s too stif f in Arthur ’s opinion. Leon has always been the most level-headed of the group, so to see him unnerved (even though he’ s doing his best to hide it) only adds to Arthur ’s nerves. “You came inside this house, too.” “Yeah, to save you guys. Think you can wake them up while I get the padlock open?” Arthur hears Leon give a soft huf f when he goes to the padlock at the door . It’s also rusty with metal peeling of f the edges. It’ s too late to find a key, and Arthur doesn’ t know how long Merlin will be able to keep the woman’ s attention away from the cage. Arthur considers ripping the lock right of f. It’s already close to crumbling. Maybe, a simple yank will cause it to turn to dust. As he pulls on the lock harshly, he hears a shrill yell from the otherside of the room. Arthur snaps his attention to where the sound came from, praying that the woman didn’ t get to Merlin. He sees her bending over and holding her wrist tightly . “You insolent child! How dare you believe you can stop me from completing my ritual! I am no mere old lady . I am someone who can make the earth tremble, I am centuries old, I am not to be trifled with!” A scof f is echoed through the room. “Is that why you’re getting handed to by a kid? Some powerful being.” At least Merlin’ s okay . Not like Arthur was concerned. He focuses on his task. It appears that yanking the padlock does not cause it to crumble, so that idea is a dud. He looks around the stone floor for anything thin and sharp like a needle or screw . “Here.” Arthur looks up and finds a conscious Guinevere with an outstretched hand holding a pin. It seems Leon got everyone awake because he can see Gwaine looking at where the woman is. Her batgirl mask is gone and the carefully done hair Gwen would fuss over earlier is undone and dusty . Still, her resolve doesn’ t break when she looks at Arthur . “My mother gave me some extra bobby pins in case the ones I'm wearing fall of f. See if you can use this to unlock it.” “Thank you.” She smiles brightly and walks over to Elyan. She fusses over him while he rubs at his eyes. Arthur looks back at the padlock and inserts the pin into the lock. Arthur thanks the stars that Gwaine had taught all of them how to pick locks no matter how adverse to it he was in the beginning. In a couple seconds, Arthur hears a click, and the padlock falls to the floor . A sigh of relief comes from the whole group. Then a cackle echoes through the room. Right. Creepy, cannibal lady . Arthur slowly opens the door to ensure it makes no sound, and his friends quickly exit. Luckily, the staircase is right in front of them. They quietly sprint towards it. Arthur looks around for Merlin. As annoying the witch boy can be, Arthur wouldn’ t wish to see him caught by her . He can hear the woman calling for him in that haunting sing-song voice, but Merlin does not snark back this time. “Oh sweetie...where did you go? Come out, come out...come out little piglet.” Arthur shudders. He’ s definitely going to have nightmares of this. “I see you got your friends, ” says a hushed voice. Arthur did not jump. He didn’ t. “Merlin!” He shakes his head. This kid is going to be the bane of his existence, isn’ t he. “Yeah, they're climbing up the stairs, let's go.” He sees the silhouette of Merlin nod and the two of them creep up the staircase, hoping the woman will continue to call aimlessly into the dark. Once out of the basement, all of the children run out of the house and don’ t stop running until they reach Arthur ’s home. They're all gasping for breath. Gwaine collapses to the floor . “Never ... again. Never again am I listening to my brothers.” “When I see your brothers again, Gwaine, ” Elyan gasps out, “I am going to kill them.” “Seconded, ” Lancelot breathes out. Gwaine lifts his hand to wave it in agreement. “I wouldn’ t blame you.” “By the way, ” gasps Guinevere, looking at a flushed Merlin, “who are you.” “Oh, I’m Merlin, ” He reaches out his hand to her . She smiles and shakes his hands. “Guinevere Smith, but you can call me Gwen.” “Well, Merlin!” Gwaine jumps up and slides an arm behind Merlin. “Thank you for helping our princess and rescuing us.” Arthur rolls his eyes. “Again with princess? I already told you to stop calling me that.” “Sure, princess.” Jerk. Merlin laughs and looks over at Arthur amused then back to Gwaine. “He does look like a princess.” “See! Thank you, Merls. I will remember this day . The day Merlin confirmed that Arthur was a princess.” “We were almost some cannibal’ s food, ” Elyan points out. “And I’m ignoring that. As you should too.” “Alright, it’ s late as it is. W e should all head home, ” Leon says, pointing to his watch. The numbers flash with the time: 1 1:35. Crap. He promised his mother that he would be home before then. Arthur looks towards his house. The porch lights are still on and though the blinds cover the lar ge window next to the door, he can see a sliver of light. Looks like she’ s still awake. Maybe Father is back home from work, too. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Merlin.” Arthur hears Guinevere say to Merlin who smiles in return. “I just wish it was under better circumstances, you know…” She coughs and grabs Elyan’ s hand as they follow Lancelot back to their homes. “Bye Gwen!” Merlin waves then says goodbye to Gwaine and Percival with Arthur and Leon. When Leon leaves, it’ s just Merlin and Arthur . Both of them stand in front of Arthur ’s home quietly waiting for the other to speak. Even though it’ s near midnight, Arthur can still hear people out in the streets. After all that’ s happened that night, Arthur was glad for the sound of other people and looked up to find the moon in all its glory . “I should probably go inside. I was supposed to come back earlier ...I hope Mum isn’ t worried.” Merlin nods and looks back at the neighborhood. “Will I see you again?” Arthur gets out. Though it was barely a whisper, Merlin still hears it and smirks. “What? Are you going to miss me a lot?” He grins wide, showing his white teeth that reflect from the moon. “N-no! It’ s just–well, look…there’ s something about you, Merlin. I can’ t quite put my finger on it. That’ s all.” “Okay princess.” Arthur grumbles while Merlin laughs. Eventually, Arthur sighs and adjusts the sack on his shoulder . “Uh… see you, then?” “Yeah, ” Merlin nods, “Until then.” Arthur walks to his front porch and presses the doorbell. He looks back to see if Merlin is still there, but all that’ s behind him is pavement. When his mother opens the door, he lets her hug him as tight as she wants, and if his hug lingers longer than usual, neither of them mention it. He asks for coco and when the hot chocolate is ready, both of them snuggle into the couch. Hocus Pocus is playing on the channel and they watch it together, and the two of them stay on the couch watching it and the movie after until they fall asleep. Chapter End Notes they're so cute!!! merlin cast as little children always make my heart soft T^T if you liked it, kudos and comments are much appreciated! Chapter 2 Chapter Summary "Do you live farther away or something?” Mor gana asks after they meet up with the rest of the group. “You could say that, ” Merlin says with that secretive smile of his. “Do you visit often?” “Only on Halloween.” “Why?” Merlin shrugs and continues on their trek through the neighborhood. Later, their trick- or-treating would be interrupted by an afanc terrorizing the fountain in the park. Just typical park things, you know? Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Arthur never saw Merlin after that night. Thankfully, Halloween was on a Friday, so he could search around the neighborhood for the odd witch boy . No matter which house he went to, the parks he scoured, there was no Merlin anywhere. It was like he vanished from thin air . But that just can’t be possible. People don’ t just pop up one day, warn you about the (now arrested) cannibalistic lady, then poof from existence. For the whole weekend, Arthur looked for Merlin, but whenever his mother or friends asked him, he would deny it. Gwaine jokingly said that Merlin was actually a ghost. A troubled soul who was one of the lady’ s first victims, but shut up after Gwen began to cry . Elyan was not happy about that. Soon, the weekend ended, and Arthur had to continue on with school, though schoolwork was the farthest thing from his mind. It took until Christmas for him to believe that searching for Merlin was useless. Sometimes, he wonders if there even was a boy with him when he saved his friends. Maybe he invented the odd boy in his head to help him not feel as alone in a dark, abandoned house searching for his kidnapped friends. Arthur hated that thought. Despite the ten year old’ s inner turmoil, the world continued on as normal. Eventually, Arthur forgot about Merlin. Sometimes, he would stay up and think of the brown-haired witch with those really bright eyes, but other than that, finding Merlin and bombarding him with questions on where he’ s been isn't as important to Arthur anymore. There’ s no full moon this Halloween. But this year, it’s on a Saturday, so he can spend all of Halloween with his friends and figuring out a better game plan on which houses to go to. “You know, my brothers were talking about this old couple that—” “And I’m stopping you right there, ” Elyan says, placing a hand on Gwaine’ s shoulder . “Last time, if you remember, your brothers led us to an abandoned house where a cannibal lived. No full bars anywhere and we were all scarred.” Gwaine shudders. “Right, yeah… good point.” It wasn’ t that hard to plan out which houses to go to, which houses to avoid; most of them have been living in this neighborhood all their life. Figuring out whether a house gave toothbrushes and those weird candied popcorn balls wasn’ t that hard to remember . The group agreed to start early, so as to have more opportunities at the popular homes. It was a normal Halloween, much to Arthur ’s discontent. No matter where they ventured in the neighborhood, he couldn’ t find Merlin. Arthur knows that just because it’ s Halloween doesn’ t mean he’ll actually show up. He’ s already tried looking for him and it was always dead ends. But for some reason, today felt dif ferent. Maybe it was because the wind sounds like it’ s whispering to him. Maybe it was because the sky seems more magical as the sun sets. Maybe it was because Arthur never really gave up on finding Merlin. He always searched no matter if he told his friends that he didn’ t think Merlin was really there. He always searched whenever he saw a head of brown hair that turned out to not be the bright eyed witch boy . Arthur kept looking even when he, himself, stopped believing. They were at the last house when it happened. Everyone just got down the steps when a loud squawk is heard. Squawk is probably the wrong word for it. Arthur thinks that it sounded like a possessed herd of geese flying overhead, but the sound of flapping wings made it feel like there was only one giant bird flying. Definitely odd. Thankfully, for Arthur ’s sake, everyone else jumped in surprise to the demonic sound of a giant flying creature. “Well, ” Percival whistles, “someone is getting really into their halloween decorations. Got sound ef fects and everything.” “Oh, I can assure you, ” says a familiar voice, “that was not sound ef fects.” Arthur spun around in surprise. He can’ t believe it. Right in front of him. Same height, same shabby clothes (he seriously needs to either pick a new costume or add more flair to this whole witch thing), and same bright, mischievous, blue eyes. “Hey! It’ s Witch Boy!” Gwaine exclaims and hugs him. He gives out an “oomf!” which is a classic reaction from being hugged by Gwaine. “T ell us then, how are you? Where have you been--” “Merlin!” Arthur finally lets out...a bit too loud. Merlin, still trapped in Gwaine’ s hug, moves his head over to face Arthur and smiles. “Hello, prat.” “Not a prat, idiot.” Merlin just continues to smile as if he can see right through Arthur . Once Gwaine lets go, Gwen goes to hug him and soon the rest of the gang give Merlin hugs, pats, hair ruf fles. Of course all of that is ruined by the demented screeching. “Right, ” Merlin fixes his blue, pointy hat. “About that… you called it a sound ef fect?” Quickly, Merlin tells them all that, no, the screeching sound from above is not a herd of demonic geese but a full grown grif fin. How fun. “So… is the grif fin a danger to us?” asks Lancelot. Merlin shakes his head and starts to fuss with his sleeves. Arthur notices a thinly wrapped bracelet on his wrist. It seems to be one strand of metal wound around Merlin’ s wrist with a pale crystal dangling at the top. It must be new, seeing how Arthur doesn’ t remember seeing it last year . “Not really . It just isn’ t supposed to be here. Of course with today being when the V eil is open, something just had to get out.” When the V eil is open? What is Merlin talking about? Grif fins, open veils… all of this is too much. However, no one gets a chance to ask Merlin what exactly is the V eil because he quickly moves to a plan on how to send the grif fin back inside before anyone gets hurt. “Everybody got that?” No. No, everybody didn’ t. “Great!” Merlin claps his hands together, and for a second Arthur swears they spark. “Now, let’s see if we can get this giant bird out of here!” After hours of herding the beast, getting their costumes dirtied and ripped, they were finally able to lead the grif fin safely away from the neighborhood and into the wood where a portal ripped open for the creature to enter . “So… that really happened.” Merlin giggles. “Of course it did. I was with you the whole time, yeah?” “Right, right, I just...need a minute.” You know, because seeing the air in front of you split open into a swirling portal that the griffin flew into. Who knew grif fins were that big. Arthur almost got smacked by its tail earlier . Still, Arthur just saw a grif fin. A real, alive, flying grif fin. Arthur knows he feels a bit faint but does his best to stay awake. His father always told him to be strong and never show weakness to others. Gwaine and Elyan had fainted just at the sight of the creature. Merlin, though, he beamed and bounced with so much ener gy that Arthur didn’ t think it was possible. “So, what now?” Leon says. He was the only one who looked calm, and Arthur can’ t say that he isn’ t jealous. Although, Leon did squeal when the grif fin’s wings almost smacked him, so there’ s that. “Go to more houses?” Percival of fered. Gwen shook her head and motioned to her and her brother ’s baskets full of candy . “We’ve already been to so many, and I know that Arthur ’s sack will explode if we add anymore to it.” “Hey, my sack can hold anything! But, uh--” He gulps at the glare given to him by Gwen. “-- we don’ t need to go to more houses. How about…we stop at mine? If that’ s alright of course.” Everyone nods (including Gwaine and Elyan who are well awake by then). Arthur turns to Merlin, who stands close to where the veil once was. The wind isn’ t as harsh as it was minutes ago, but it’ s still there, blowing Merlin’ s tattered robes to and fro. As usual, Merlin is looking of f into the woods, inside his own head with his hat covering his expression. Arthur bets it’ s one where he looks idiotic with that soft smile and closed eyes. “Witch Boy!” That gets his attention. Merlin jumps abruptly and stumbles to turn toward Arthur . “We’re all coming to my house!” There’ s a small pause as Merlin scrunches his face at Arthur confused. “Okay…? And?” Arthur sighs heavily . He hears Leon and Gwen chastising him for being nicer, but it's Merlin. “You’re coming too, of course!” “I am?” Arthur huf fs at Merlin’ s surprised expression. He really can be dense. “What do you think ‘ of course’ means? Y es, you’re coming, Merlin, and you can’ t back out. It’s not allowed.” He can see Merlin’ s cheeks puf f up and his foot stamps on the dead leaves. “I know what that means, clotpole!” “Then come on! Y ou’ll be the last one there and miss my mother ’s hot chocolate at this rate!” Merlin hurried over to Arthur and gave him a shove. Arthur being Arthur, shoved him back but harder . This continued on until they reached Arthur ’s home. His mother greeted all of them, gave them hugs or hair ruf fles (much to Arthur ’s chagrin) and set to making her infamous hot cocoa. It happened like this every Halloween. Every year, Merlin would show up to hang out with Arthur and the gang or to warn them about some magical problem that leaked from the veil. The year after the grif fin, some pixies were creating havoc. Then it was a unicorn. Arthur remembers Merlin being so entranced by it, but he can’ t blame the guy because the unicorn was beautiful. Arthur likes that something magical always happens on Halloween even if some of them aren’ t exactly fun. Some years later, one of his cousins (Arthur isn’ t sure from which family) moves in since her father was a good friend of Arthur ’s. Her name is Mor gana, and Arthur quickly finds out that she is a harpy . Always getting him into trouble. Crying at the right moments to get at his parents’ heartstrings so she gets away with everything. Arthur hates it. That is until he beats her at chess. “You cheated.” Is all she says. Arthur can’ t help but grin at her smugly . They try checkers next, and he beats her there too. Arthur likes to count that as the best day of his life. They keep playing chess for the rest of the day, and eventually, Arthur starts to teach her better moves to play until she finally beats him near midnight. Arthur can’ t find it in him to be upset and celebrates with her . Soon, all of her “devilish” pranks and plans, Arthur is in on them too. He adds more details in her plans. Never do their pranks ever lead back to the two of them. It was nice having someone else around who wasn’ t staf f or his mother as company . He had his friends, yes, but they could only stay for a short while. Sometimes there were sleepovers, but eventually, they had to go back to their own home. Having Mor gana around was like having a little sister around to pick on, protect, and plan pranks with. She fit into the gang instantly, much to Arthur ’s relief, quickly becoming friends with Gwen and Leon. All Arthur needed was Merlin and their group would be complete. When Halloween came that year, Arthur found Merlin waiting by his fence as usual. Quickly, he ran up to him. Mother made him late again with all her fussing on his costume. He was dressed, this time, as a Camelot knight which is dif ferent from the other knights he dressed as years before, thank you very much. “Sorry, did you have to wait long?” Merlin shook his head causing his hat to tip to the right. “Nah, I just got here.” Arthur sighed in relief and looked up at the sky . “Ah man!” “What's wrong?” Merlin frowned. “It’s just… I know this sounds silly, but I was really hoping that it would be a full moon this year. Halloween always seems more mystical when it does.” Merlin hums and nods then quickly looks over at Arthur ’s porch. “Say, is that your mother calling you?” Quickly, Arthur turns to his porch but doesn’ t hear his mother call for him. All he sees is Morgana exiting the house in her “Empress” costume. He looks back to Merlin who wears his sheepish, "I-swear -I’m-innocent" face. Then he looks back at the sky and gasps. Up in the sky isn’ t the curvy crescent moon Arthur just saw . Instead is a bright, full moon shining in its silver glory . Arthur can’ t believe it. “How-how did this happen? W asn’t it just small a second ago?” Merlin hums again with his hand on his chin in a contemplating way . “That really is strange...W ell! Shall we go?” Arthur nods but his attention is still on the moon. “Arthur! Y ou’re mum said that you can’ t leave without me!” Merlin tilts his head. “Who are you?” “I’m Mor gana. Who are you?” Arthur snaps from his trance and begins to introduce Merlin and Mor gana to each other . Though there was a small hostile hiccup, the two start to get along. “I haven’ t seen you around, Merlin. Do you live farther away or something?” Mor gana asks after they meet up with the rest of the group. “You could say that, ” Merlin says with that secretive smile of his. “Do you visit often?” “Only on Halloween.” “Why?” Merlin shrugs and continues on their trek through the neighborhood. Later, their trick-or - treating would be interrupted by an afanc terrorizing the fountain in the park. It was Morgana’ s first experience with magical creatures and would not stop talking about how magic is real and if she’ll get to see them again. It was also the night Arthur realized that Merlin wasn’ t joking when he said he could do magic. Merlin called him dense for that, but Arthur got him back by shoving him into the fountain. After that, the gang decided not to go trick-or -treating on Halloween, but go “monster hunting” instead. (Y es, this was Mor gana’ s idea.) Now, they would split of f into small groups of three and scour the neighborhood for any magical creatures that left the V eil. Unsurprisingly, being grouped with Merlin meant that they attracted most of the magical creatures, but that made it easier since Merlin could summon the veil and let them pass through. Gwaine likes to joke that they could create their own monster hunting Y ouTube channel, but Gwen would pipe in that it wouldn’ t be as popular seeing how most of the monsters come out on Halloween. Gwaine would then grumble about spoil-sports and just wanting to document their adventures. The next year, Percival brought his video cameras- one for each group. They never created a Y ouTube channel, but with the amount of recorded events they had, Arthur wouldn’ t be surprised if Gwaine and Percival made one. Even as they grew older and went to college, the gang would always come back on Halloween and go hunting for “monsters.” Of course, they found a way to contact Merlin, and Arthur makes sure to text him everyday . None of the group knows where exactly Merlin is from and why he can only visit on Halloween. Arthur has heard many of Mor gana’ s theories as to why . (“Think about it, Arthur . Why only Halloween? Why is our neighborhood the only place that has these problems?” Morgana drapes herself over Arthur ’s bed, leaving no room for Arthur to sit on. He breathes out a sigh and sits on his desk chair . She points her manicured nails at him as she rants about today’ s theory on why Merlin can only visit once a year . “Mor gana, I’m sure that other places have the same issues as ours. The V eil can open anywhere. Merlin said it’ s just this day that makes it open, not a special place.” He sees Mor gana perk up and turn around on the bed so her stomach is towards the floor . Her dark hair falling on her face made her look slightly deranged. Arthur knows that Gwen would call this messy look on Mor gana beautiful, but Arthur has a hard time associating anything beautiful with his sister . Terrifying? Absolutely . “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you didn’ t listen to Merlin when he goes on about the…” “Mor gana, ” Arthur sighed. “What did you call it? Ah, right, ” “Mor gana, ” Arthur hissed. He is not in the mood for this. “The ‘ hocus pocus thingy’ . But instead you do and just pretend not to. A w, is W artie really a softie for --” “Shut up, ‘Gana! It’ s not like that!” Already, he can feel his cheeks heating up, and Morgana’ s little grin is enough to know that she saw it too. “Sure it’ s not.”) Whether any of her theories are true or not doesn’ t matter too much to Arthur because, without fail, Merlin will always be there with him on Halloween. Whether early or late, Merlin will be there. “Do you remember the ogre?” asks Percival. Leon groans and Gwaine squeals at the memory . “Oh you bet, mate. How could I not!” “I could, I would definitely want that memory erased from my mind, ” Leon mutters next to Arthur . Arthur pats Leon on the back and does his best not to laugh along with Gwaine. The ogre. Looking back, Arthur finds it hilarious, but at the time-- “MERLIN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CAST THE SPELL!” “I told you, Arthur . Spells like these take time! I can’ t just magic a portal and whisk Leon’ s beloved away!” “Please don’ t call her that, ” sighs a distraught Leon. “I was drunk and it was thr ee in the morning. I’m not doing anything like this ever again” “SHUT UP, LEON!” --yeah… that was a stressful time. “Cheer up, Leon, ” Elyan says as he slides into their booth, Lancelot trailing behind him. They’re at their usual pub, The Rising Sun, and, unfortunately, it’s crowded more than usual. Thankfully, Leon came in early (like the meticulous man he is) and saved the booth for them all. “Say, Arthur?” Arthur grunts in response as he reaches for his drink. Leon is back to being his dignified self again, so his arms are free to drink. “Did Merlin get a chance to let you know he’ s coming?” He hears Gwaine snicker and from the corner of his eye, see Percival roll his own at whatever Gwaine said. “You have his number, right?” Elyan nods. “There’ s your answer . Ask him yourself.” Arthur doesn’ t understand why his friends always ask him if Merlin is coming. It’ s not like the two of them talk that much. Sure, the moment Arthur got a phone, he immediately went to Merlin the next Halloween to gift the witch his own phone and exchange numbers with the rest of the group. But that was only because he couldn’ t stand their past communication of sending letters through birds. They would always scratch him or give his mother quite a freight if they swooped in from nowhere. Elyan sighs and turns to Lancelot exasperated. Arthur doesn’ t bother to understand his theatrics. Honestly, Gwaine’ s done worse. “Yeah, but Merlin always leaves me on read. When he does answer, it’s just short responses. Don’ t you two… have long conversations all the time-” (in the far distance of the other side of the booth, Gwaine whispers, “Whipped.”) “-and you always respond to him, so… maybe he’ll let you know?” Arthur sighs and drinks his beer . Finally he relents. Those dumb Smith siblings and their caring eyes that seem like they can see through your soul. “Yeah, Merlin said he was coming and to save him a seat. I already ordered for him, too.” Gwaine perks up. “Did you?” His grin is wide and cheshire like. Arthur knows that the next things out of Gwaine’ s mouth won’ t be anything good. At least, not for him. “What do you say, Elyan? My money’ s on two weeks.” O...kay ..? Not where Arthur thought Gwaine was going to take this conversation. He hears Elyan chuckle. “T wo weeks? Never thought you were one to hope when it came to this.” Arthur is very lost on what these two are talking about. “Oh believe me, ” pipes in Percival, “When it comes to them, Gwaine can’ t help but have hope. Y ou should hear him going on about it all day .” That gets some laughs out of everyone but Arthur, who is still confused as to what is going on. “Of course, you would know about what Gwaine goes on about everyday, wouldn’ t you, ” Leon teases. Percival flushes while Gwaine only giggles and snuggles more into the man’ s giant frame. Alright. T easing Percival about his crush on Gwaine. Arthur knows that. W ell, maybe Arthur shouldn’ t say crush since the two of them are dating now . However, Percival still gets embarrassed when the gang teases him and Gwaine about their relationship. Gwaine finds it adorable and never loses the chance to show them of f when the teasing starts. When Leon goes to buy them another round, Arthur notices that Elyan is short a few more people. “Weren’ t Mor gana and Gwen with you?” Elyan winces and rubs his necks. “They were… but, well--” “They decided to spend Halloween alone… together… after a heavy makeout session right in front of us.” Lancelot looks slightly haunted. The rest of the boys nod in understanding. Personally, when it came to PDA-obsessed couples, Arthur had assumed that Percival and Gwaine would be number one on that list but nope. T urns out his sister and Gwen can’ t ever seem to get their hands of f each other . Sometimes, they for get where they are and who they’re with and the constant kissing gets a little bit more… heated . Thankfully, the conversation shifts to Percival and Lancelot’ s job at a hardware store. Somehow, they get on the topic of dragons and whether one would ever come out from the Veil. It is here how Merlin finds them: almost drunk of f their asses debating the existence of the Fae. “I’m telling you, Leon, ” slurs Lancelot, “they probably wouldn’ t need to use the V eil to get here. Y ou hear stories about them popping up when it’ s not even close to… what was the other name Halloween has?” “Samhain, you mean?” “Yes, yes, Samhain.” Lancelot bobs his head and the witch giggles at the sight. “Thank you, Merlin.” A pause. “MERLIN!” “Where have you been?” “Buddy! How you been?” “What took you so long, idiot!” Merlin just smiles and slides into the seat next to Arthur . He still wears that ragged, blue hat as always though this time, there’ s no robes to be seen. Instead, he wears a light brown jacket, a loose blue shirt with a red scarf wrapped around his neck. It’ s a nice look on him, Arthur can concede, even if it still looks like something Merlin just threw on. If they ever get the chance, Arthur is taking Merlin out to buy some real clothes that actually look fashionable. “Good to see you too, your royal highness.” Arthur rolls his eyes and gives Merlin his drink. For a brief second, their fingers touch. Only for a short moment, Arthur can feel how warm Merlin's hands are, but it ends just as it starts. Merlin brings the bottle to his full lips and the feeling of his hands are gone. “So, you guys talking about the Fair Folk? Y ou should be careful about what you say because they might not like it. For example--” “Come on, Mer lin! It’ s just harmless fun. Besides, ” Arthur leans closer to Merlin. From here, he can see a small ring of gold around the witch’ s blue irises. From here, Merlin’ s eyes are so blue. Like the clear sky in mid-morning. Not light but not deep either . Arthur can feel Merlin’ s breath as he giggles. “W e’ll have you to bust us out of trouble, right?” Merlin huf fs and shrugs Arthur of f of him. Arthur falls onto Leon letting out an “oomf.” “Glad to see how you really feel about me. I thought our friendship was stronger than that.” Merlin sighs theatrically and pretends to nurse his beer bottle. “Y ou just want me for my magic.” Gwaine gives out a giggle and leans forward. “Don’ t worry, Merls. Magic isn’ t the only thing Arthur wants.” He wags his eyebrows and Arthur feels his face flush, though sober him would deny it. “Come of f it, Gwaine, ” Arthur somehow stutters out. “Y ou’re drunk.” “Aye, ” he hiccups, “but at least I’m not in denial.” You know what? Arthur is finding new friends. Friends who don’ t call him out like that. Arthur is perfectly fine with where things are. No need to say anything that might ruin it. “Alright, that’ s enough booze for you.” Percival takes Gwaine’ s bottle and hands him a glass of water . Where did the water come from? Maybe it was Leon. Or Lancelot. The rest of the night was spent rehashing their year to Merlin (who knew most of what happened because Arthur tells him everything). After catching up, the gang thought it’d be fun to ask Merlin about the V eil and what goes in and out. T urns out Lancelot was right in thinking that the Fae wouldn’ t need to use the V eil to leave the otherworld called A valon. Once it got close to midnight, the gang decided to call it a night and head back to their dorms. Leon was sober enough to drive them all to their designated places. Percival had to carry a sleeping Gwaine while Elyan and Lancelot stumbled together into their shared apartment. When they got to Arthur ’s apartment, Merlin of fered to help him inside. “Leon, I know you live on the other side of the campus. I can take him, don’ t worry .” Leon sighs and shakes his head fondly . “Alright, make sure to leave some aspirin on his desk so that his hangover won’ t bother him as much tomorrow .” “I’m right here, you know, ” Arthur slurs out. Hanging of f of Merlin’ s shoulder, Arthur feels loose. Like a puppet finally cut from its string but now has no direction on where to go. Merlin snorts and shifts Arthur ’s arm on his shoulder for a better grip. “Of course you’re here. Anyone can tell where you are by the sound of your pratish voice.” Arthur retaliates by butting his head on Merlin’ s neck. There. That would show him. Leon chuckles and waves one last goodbye to Merlin before driving away . “Alright, your royal pratty-ness, where do I take you?” It takes a couple stumbles but they make it to his apartment eventually . Sure, Merlin may have passed the elevator twice and almost dropped Arthur a couple more times, but they made it to his place in one piece. Arthur digs through his pocket, looking for his key but keeps missing the pocket entirely . Merlin rolls his eyes and reaches into his pocket instead. Once again, Arthur feels the warmth from Merlin's fingers. Even when they leave, the feeling lingers. Merlin finds the key quickly and unlocks the door with the finesse of a sober person, opening the door with a “tadah!” The two of them stumble inside and Merlin drops Arthur on the couch. Arthur squawks as the cushions hit his back. “Merlin!” Merlin pokes his head out from the kitchen. In his hands is a glass of water and in the other a bag of chips. “What?” He blinks at Arthur . Again, Arthur is lost, looking at Merlin’ s eyes. Blue ringed with gold and absolutely beautiful. “Yeah?” Merlin coughs out. Arthur snaps out of it. Right. Merlin. His friend. His best friend. Why did Arthur call on him again? Must not have been important if he’ s forgotten. “N-nevermind.” Merlin raises an eyebrow at that, but thankfully, lets it slide. Arthur gets up from the couch and walks over to the kitchen to join Merlin, who gives him a glass of water as well. They then start to talk about nonsense. How they’ve been, the pressures Arthur ’s father has on him, Merlin’ s new spells that he then shows of f to a delighted Arthur . It’s nice and quiet. Just the two of them. Arthur knows he’ s been sneaking glances every now and then. Hopefully, it isn’ t super obvious. Drunk or not, Arthur doesn’ t know what he would do if Merlin were to find out how Arthur ’s feelings for him isn’ t platonic anymore. Sometimes, Arthur thinks he spies Merlin sneaking glances also, but he knows that it’ s only the trick of the light. He looks to where the window resides just above the kitchen sink. It’ s a full moon. Full moons on Halloween are always the best in Arthur ’s opinion. The night sky alight with stars, the moon up high for all to see. But Arthur ’s favorite part of full moon Halloweens is spending that time under the moonlight with Merlin. Chapter End Notes these boys *shakes head* they're so silly but yeah that's chapter 2! i originally had plans to continue this to have a ch3 but for the moment just 2 parts is enough and it's super sweet anyway . (dw i have half of ch3 written but this wip has been on hold for sometime that i'm okay with leaving at two) if i ever do think to include ch3 here, it will be some later time and when i can figure out the ending. anyway, kudos and comments are much appreciated! Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Language: English
Published: 2023-01-19 Words: 10,454 Chapters: 2/2 Witch Boy by fluffypoato Summary “Hey , what are you doing!” “What do you think, Merlin?” Arthur asks, rolling his eyes. Is this Merlin serious? “I’m getting some full bars.” The witch boy huf fs and stamps his foot. “And I told you that you shouldn’ t go there!” Arthur only smirks. “What? Scared of the isolated house at the corner of the neighborhood?” Notes if this feels somewhat familiar to you, it probably is Welcome, people of Ao3, to Fluf fy's repost of older fic collection (yes, this are repost of my older fics, yes i did write them) the first to be revealed is W itch Boy! Hope you enjoy! Chapter 1 Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes “Okay , think you got everything?” his mother asks. “Yes, mum, I’ve got my belt and my sword and my sack.” Arthur rolls his eyes at his mother ’s fussing. Really , he’s ten years old now . He’ s trick-or -treating all on his own with his friends. He’ s a big boy . Arthur ’s mother smiles softly , brushing her pale wig from her face. His mother had decided to match with Arthur ’s knight costume and go as a queen from the renaissance. Her dress is a deep scarlet that she got at Party City with a plastic, gold circlet wrapped around her head. “Just double checking, little lion.” She goes to kiss his forehead. “Now , don’ t you look regal!” she says admiring his costume. While his mother ’s costume is simple with only a few accessories, Arthur ’s is a bit more detailed since he told his mother that he wanted to look like a “real” and “authentic” knight like the ones he hears in the fairy tales she reads to him. His leather boots are a light brown, his trousers are black and loose with a brown belt holding his wooden sword, and his tunic is red with a black hood stitched round his collar . Arthur preened at his mother ’s praises on his costume and did a little spin. It’ s a silly spin, in his opinion, but it's just him and his mother . He can act silly in front of her . She giggles at him and spins herself. “Do you think I look lovely , sir knight?” “I think you look beautiful, my lady ,” he answers, kissing his mother ’s knuckles while she laughs. The sound of the doorbell is heard even though faint. Arthur ’s mother composes herself brushing of f imaginary dust from her gown. She crouches down to Arthur and does some last minute fixes. Usually , he would fuss and complain, but let her continue since he, too, didn’ t want this moment to end. “Now , don’ t forget to say thank you after being given candy and make sure to come back home no later than eleven thirty , okay?” “Yes, Mum.” She smiles wide, showing of f her white teeth and pinches Arthur ’s cheeks. “And don’ t forget to have fun, little lion. It’ s Halloween.” Arthur giggles and shoves her hands from his cheeks. Just before he leaves, his mother does some last minute fussing. Brushing of f his tunic, fixing the sleeves over and over -- “Mum! I can’ t go trick-or -treating if you keep me here!” His mother sighs and looks over at him one last time before nodding. Arthur nods in return and smiles before exiting his house to meet up with his friends. T oday is Halloween, and it’ s a full moon he discovers when looking at the sky . Already , Arthur can tell that this Halloween was going to be great. Some twenty houses later , Arthur has a sack full of candy along with his other friends. Heavy as it was, Arthur slings it over his back while venturing of f to the next house that Gwaine claims has full bars. “Full bars, guys! None of that fun-size stuff. Trust me!” “Last time I trusted you, I ended up with a face full of dirt and got grounded by my mother ,” grumbles Percival. “Oh come on, Perce!” Gwaine laughs, messing with his scruf fy wig. “Y ou know I never meant for that to happen! I got in trouble too, you know .” Gwaine gives Percival the biggest, pleading eyes Arthur has ever seen and scof fs. “Don’ t fall for it, Percival. He’ll just get you into more trouble next time.” Leon and Lancelot chuckle nervously while Elyan nods in agreement. Both Leon and Lancelot dressed as knights with Arthur while Gwaine thought to go as a werewolf. Pecival said he was a jedi. Elyan dressed as an assassin, but unfortunately , had to keep correcting the parents on who he was. Apparently , Robin Hood was a popular guess that was given. Elyan also brought his little sister who was dressed as Batgirl. “It’s true Percy! Gwaine gave me those puppy eyes and the next thing I know we’re sneaking off to prank his brothers…” Elyan trails of f, looking far of f into the distance haunted. “I almost died.” Elyan's sister sighs exasperatedly . “Yeah, and then I had to save you from getting caught by our dad, remember?” “And I am ever grateful for your aid, Gwen.” He ruf fles her hair while Gwen squawks and smacks his arm away . “Elyan! It took Mum hours to get my hair like this!” She pats down her straightened hair as good as a child can while Elyan rolls his eyes. Eventually , they reach the alleged house that holds full sized bars. Maybe it was how late the night had gotten, but the house looked very ominous to Arthur . The lights were a dim orange. Not the bright white like the other houses that passed by . It was also at the corner of the neighborhood, making it feel secluded and isolated. No decorations were found on the lawn. Only a small wooden Jack-o-lantern hanging on the door . Arthur had a bad feeling. He looked at his other friends, gaging their reactions. Gwaine looked excited as ever . Elyan was busy talking to his sister , so even if Elyan did make a reaction, Arthur wouldn’ t know . Percival looked worried, but that just might be because Gwaine looks like he might explode. Leon and Lancelot did exchange concerned glances to each other and to Arthur , so there’ s that. “Is this really the place?” Leon finally asked. “Of course!” Gwaine scof fed and puf fed up his chest. “This is the place that my brothers would always talk about every year . They would always come with full bars and tell me about this house.” “I dunno, Gwaine,” Lancelot answers, “Y ou know that your brothers tend to…” “Prank us all the time?” Arthur finishes for him. He notices movement behind the window and grips his sack tighter . Gwaine makes a noise of protest but sags. “Okay , I know that my brothers are pranksters, but so am I. It’ s a family thing. But, lying about full sized candy bars? They would never . Scout’ s honor!” Everyone raised their eyebrows at that. Elyan rolls his eyes and fiddles with his bucket. “Well, if they are lying about the candy bars, we can just get back at them, eh?” The gang nods in agreement and starts walking up to the ominous house. The wind picks up and Arthur shivers. He looks up at the full moon, watching as the clouds begin to cover its silver glow . Arthur looks back at the house. W ith the now cloudy sky , the house looks darker and even more foreboding than it was before. Chills run down his arms and not from the wind. It’s probably nothing, Arthur repeats over and over in his head. It’s all my imagination. Nothing is wr ong with the house. It’ s just Halloween. “You should probably stop your friends from going there.” Arthur startles at the sudden voice next to him. It was a boy . A boy with light blue eyes. “Who-who are you?” The boy smiles and reaches out his hand. “I’m Merlin.” Arthur looks down at the hand then back at Merlin’ s face. He’ s about the same height as Arthur as far as he can tell. T o be honest, the costume Merlin was wearing was odd. It looks like a dress that’ s been worn down with tears at the end but really , was a blue, faded robe. The odd boy also has a worn, blue hat to match. Merlin’ s boots are red like his scarf but pointed (and not leather , Arthur ’s brain feels the need to add). Merlin tilts his head and raises his brow while Arthur stays frozen next to him. W orried he’d been silent for too long, Arthur blurts out the first thing that came to his mind: “Why are your ears so big?” Merlin huf fed and covered his now red ears. Arthur cringed. He doesn’ t really know what he was trying to say , but he didn’ t mean for it to sound rude. “They are not! Y ou're just a prat!” Arthur sputters. “I’m a what?” “A prat!” Merlin snif fs and crosses his arms. His ears are still red, but it seems that that isn’ t his main focus anymore. “Well you’re a–a… what are you supposed to be?” “I’m certainly not a prat!” Merlin huf fs, stomping his feet. “I meant your costume,” he sighs, gesturing to Merlin’ s clothing. “Y ou don’ t look like a sorcerer , but with the hat… are you trying to be a wizard?” “Trying to be a– I’m a witch!” Arthur assesses Merlin and his costume. It could work but lacks ef fort. Seems to him that Merlin just pulled on whatever and called it a day . Arthur shrugs and pulls his sack over his shoulder . “Alright then, witch, did you come for the full bars?” “Full bars?” Merlin asks, his wide eyes blinking. It’ s as if he’ s never heard the word before. Arthur rolls his eyes. “Full bars. Y ou know , candy bars that aren’ t fun-sized?” More wide staring. “Just–look, it’ s candy bars full sized. None of that small sized stuf f, okay?” Merlin nods slowly . Arthur sighed for the umpteenth time. By now , he bets that his friends have already reached the house and got all of Arthur ’s favorites. He turns toward where the corner house resides and heads to its door . He can already see that his friends have reached the front porch. “Hey , what are you doing!” “What do you think, Merlin?” Arthur asks, rolling his eyes. Is this Merlin serious? “I’m getting some full bars.” The witch boy huf fs and stamps his foot. “And I told you that you shouldn’ t go there!” Arthur only smirks. “What? Scared of the isolated house at the corner of the neighborhood?” Merlin sputters, and Arthur takes that as his cue to continue up the incline to the front porch. The porch light is of f now , so he can’ t see his friends. Strange. W ere they always of f? He could have sworn the porch light was brightly shining a second ago. Arthur doesn’ t get that much time to think of it though because Merlin decides to shake out of his sputtering and run after him. “I’m not scared, clotpole! This house is isolated for a reason, and it shouldn’ t be disturbed.” “What are you nattering on about? It’ s just a house and- wait, what did you just call me?” “Not important.” The nerve! “What’ s important is that whatever is in that house is dangerous and is using these... full bars to lure you inside just like it did to your friends!” Arthur is really starting to get annoyed by this guy . First he calls him a prat, then a clotpole? What is his deal? “Look, I know it’ s Halloween and all, but I’m pretty sure...this is just a regular house that gives out full bars. Also, how do you still not know what those are? Did your parents only give you fun-sized or something? That’ s pretty sad, now that I think about it. Y ou’re missing out.” Merlin’ s cheeks flush and Arthur can tell that the boy was restraining himself from saying something. Most likey , a great many things. That may not be appropriate. Okay , maybe Arthur went a bit too far about the fun-sized thing, but seriously , what is his deal? If anything, Merlin was probably told that this house is haunted or whatever just so he wouldn’ t go there for the full bars. When the duo reached the porch, the lights went on. Arthur had to blink a bit since he was just in the dark moments before. After gathering his bearings, he looked around the oddly silent porch and found...nothing. Just an empty , silent, friendless porch. Huh...this was fine. Did they already receive the candy and continue trick-or -treating without him? Arthur wouldn’ t be surprised. What with Gwaine’ s ener getic nature added with the Smith siblings’ competitive one for collecting candy . They might have left him behind on accident, also. Arthur would’ve thought that they’d at least wait. Maybe that’ s why the porch light went of f again. “Rats,” Merlin mutters. Arthur frowns and looks back at the witch boy . “What?” Merlin huf fs and fiddles with his torn sleeve. “This was what I’ve been trying to tell you. It’ s not normal at all! Listen, it’ s--” “Why hello there!” There’ s an old woman at the door . She’ s very tall, or maybe it’ s just her lar ge hair . Arthur can’t tell. Either way , she startles both of them. Merlin squeaked and Arthur ...did not. “My, aren’ t you two precious! Like little rabbits being strangled by a hunter ’s strong grip.” Eerily strange comparison...but Arthur will let it pass because it’ s Halloween, and he knows that sometimes the people giving candy want to be more eccentrically spooky for the holiday . He should know since Elyan and Gwen’ s dad does the same thing. Only , their dad’ s antics don’t give him the instinct to run like Hell, but he digresses. “Now , I’m afraid that my bowl is empty at the moment since that last group finished it all. They were quite the crowd. Especially that boy dressed up as a werewolf.” She giggles, and it sounds hauntingly of f-key . “That boy grabbed a lot of them, he did. Caused a huge dispute between them all.” Arthur missed all that? Of course Gwaine would do something like that. He bets it was Leon who reprimanded him or it could be Lancelot. However , that does answer Arthur ’s question on whether they did get here. All of them were here, got the full bars, and left without even leaving any spares for him. “I hope you don’ t mind waiting while I go get some more.” Merlin nods his head fervently . Arthur ’s almost sure that if he shook his head faster , it would snap of f. “No need, madame, so sorry for your low supply . We’ll just be on our–” “We can wait.” “ Arthur! ” He hears Merlin hiss at him. Arthur doesn’ t care. He wants those full bars, dangit! So what if his friends left him. He came all this way ,and he is not leaving because Mer lin is too scared of a house separated from the others in the neighborhood. “Oh how lovely! I may just give you half a box for being so kind!” Brilliant. T ake that Gwaine. The old woman claps her hands while Merlin is burning holes on the side of Arthur ’s head. The woman turns inside the house and pauses. What now? “Oh but, you know , what? It’ s just so cold outside. Are you sure you don’ t want to wait inside where it's warm? I promise I’ll be quick!” Arthur frowns this time. “If you’ll be quick, then we don’ t have to wait indoors. Besides, we’ve been out here for hours.” W ell, Arthur has. He doesn’ t know about Merlin, but it’ s almost eleven. Usually , people don't start trick-or -treating that late. The woman nods in a stif f, uncordial way . “Yes, but that was when you were running around. You’ll begin to feel the cold standing out there for so long.” Again, Arthur feels a rise of unease. He can’ t believe that he’ s starting to reconsider what Merlin said before. It’ s a ridiculous theory , at best, but it could have some merit anyway . If so, Arthur is beginning to think that his friends never left this house. “You just said you would be quick,” Merlin replies. His arms are crossed and he stares up at the woman raising an eyebrow . The old woman’ s brow twitches. Y eah, the alarm bells are definitely ringing. “Well, dear child, it all depends on if I am able to find them fast enough. Of course, I’m just not at that age anymore.” She sighs, placing a wrinkled hand on her cheek. W ere her nails always that sharp and long? “Sometimes, I fear my memory gets a little splotchy . You younglings just don’ t understand the struggles that come from being old. Y ou’re fresh...like a ripe tomato or a delectable piglet.” Okay! If Arthur hadn’ t already been considering it, those comparisons are a red flag enough! As much as Arthur now wants to be very far away from this woman, he knows his friends are in danger . They came to this house just before him in hopes of getting full bars, and now are trapped somewhere inside this house. He has to go in. “You are definitely right, madam.” He hears Merlin hissing at him again. “It has gotten a little nippy outside. I’m sure we can wait indoors while you restock your candy bowl.” The woman grins. Her lips are stretched so thin, Arthur ’s surprised that they haven't split yet. She turns back to go inside and Arthur follows. Merlin tugs on his sleeve last minute, though. “What are you thinking?” Merlin exclaims in a hushed tone. “I swear , if this is about the full bars, I am going to scream–” “This isn’ t about the bars, you idiot! Not after that! ” “Then why are you going inside!” Arthur turns fully to Merlin. The hat is titled now , close to obscuring his vision on Merlin’ s left side. The look on the witch boy’ s face is stormy . His blue eyes alight and fiery . Arthur holds his gaze and stares down with his own stormy expression. (W ell, he hopes it’ s stormy .) “My friends were just here, and I don’ t remember seeing—or hearing, actually , Gwaine is pretty loud—any of my friends leave this house. She’ s hiding them somewhere and we’re going to find them.” Merlin is quiet for a while. His expression morphs to one of exasperation, understanding and then he sighed. “Okay , fine. I’ll help you find your friends, but we have to be quick about this. Who knows how long she’ll be ‘restocking’ her candy bowl.” Arthur feels his stomach uncoil with relief. He doesn’ t know if he could wander around this house on his own. He won’ t let Merlin know that, though. “Great, any ideas on where to start first?” Merlin hums in consideration then snaps his fingers. “The basement might be our best bet.” “Oh fun, let’ s definitely start in the most horror movie cliche location.” “The what?” Arthur looks over at Merlin, who blinks back. He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. Merlin still looks innocently confused. “Horror ...movie?” “You have got to be kidding me.” And so, the duo quietly sneaked to where the basement door was. Neither of them knew where exactly the basement was, but they were in too deep to back out now . Both of them would always check behind their backs to ensure that the old woman wasn’ t right behind them. It didn’ t help that the rest of the house was dark and empty just like how it was outside. Almost everything in this house is decomposed. The wind easily slips through the cracks, the walls covered in mold, and all the rooms look like they were rotting. The stench was awful as well, like soured milk mixed with sewage water and last week’ s dinner . Arthur does his best to ignore the smell. Merlin looks unfazed by it all though as they continue wandering around the hall. He really is weird. “It better not be near the kitchen,” Arthur mutters to distract himself. Merlin nods as he closes the door beneath the stairs. Fortunately , it doesn’ t creak. Actually , now that Arthur thinks about it, none of the doors they have opened made any noise. The floors don't even squeak when stepped on despite how decomposed they look. Everything is quiet. A nice advantage to have when venturing the house of what Arthur assumes was a cannibal. “Do you want to check just in case?” Merlin whispers. “It wouldn’ t hurt.” Except the fact that the old woman is likely in there doing who knows what and wants to eat them. “W e’ll have to be quick about it, though.” Merlin rolls his eyes as they turn back to where the kitchen resides. “No, let me take the rest of the night in the one place where she is and pray we don’ t get caught.” The boy sighs. “I’m not an idiot, and who put you in char ge? I know what I’m doing.” “Sure, witch boy–” “Stop calling me that!” “So far , your plan has been to open every door in this house, including the ones upstairs to find the basement. See any flaws in that plan?” “Well–-we haven’ t even been upstairs!” “That’ s because I said that part of the plan was stupid.” Merlin mutters something about prattish humans and not respecting other ’s plans, but Arthur ignores it. The kitchen light is on, but no shadows or sounds to indicate if she’ s still inside. Good for them since that means they can sneak in without the fear of being seen, but also bad because now they have no clue where she is. Maybe she’ s in the basement. Arthur hopes not. “See any doors?” “Just the one for the fridge.” “Well,” Arthur breathes out, “guess we have to venture in to see more.” “Guess so.” Merlin fixes his hat and nods to Arthur . The kitchen also looks decomposed. Scraped of f yellow paint on the counters, ripped of f red wallpaper , and black soot on the ceiling. Mold and mildew cover most of the tile floor and the stove is black with grease. The burning smell from the burners is awful, and Arthur hopes that the acrid smell is solely from the smoke mixing with the mildew . Once he finds his friends and gets out of here, Arthur is going straight home and having hot cocoa. “Arthur!” Arthur turns to Merlin who is frantically pointing at a door to the far right. Unlike the white door they entered in, this door is black and looks the most put together out of the whole kitchen. When Arthur walks over to Merlin, the witch boy opens it and inside are stairs leading down to a pitch black basement. “Alright then, guess we better go down.” Arthur goes to step down the stairway . “Are you out of your mind!” Merlin hisses, grabbing Arthur ’s arm and yanking him back into the kitchen Arthur frowns confused. “We made it to the basement, and my friends are down there. Let’ s go save them.” “Yes, but look, we could be blindly handing ourselves over to that lady for all we know! I know your friends are down there, but we need a plan if we want to get them and us out of here alive.” “And how exactly are you going to do that, Merlin?” “Magic of course.” “Magic? Look, I know you’re dressed up as a witch, but you must know that magic isn’ t real.” “I’m not dressed up! I’m a—oh for get. So, what’ s the big plan, sire.” “Thank you for asking, Merlin. Obviously , we have to be careful where we step since those floors look like they might snap of f. As for the chance if she’ s down there, one of us will have to distract her while the other frees my friends.” “Okay , so I distract while you free your friends?,'' says Merlin, nodding his head. Arthur blinks at Merlin who’ s looking back. Merlin was a scrawny kid compared to Arthur , but has no hesitation to volunteer himself as bait to distract someone who, quite frankly , will be giving Arthur nightmares later . “Are you sure? I can distract her while you free them.” Merlin shakes his head and turns to face the dark stairway . “They’re your friends, Arthur . I know you’re worried about them. Besides, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve.” “Is it magic?” Arthur jokes, lifting an eyebrow at him. Merlin only smiles. His blue eyes gleam with mischief and Arthur feels himself relax just for a minute. W ith newfound determination, the two of them headed down the dark staircase. The old woman was down there, of course. Thankfully , her back was to the duo, but in front of her was a huge cauldron with blue flames flaring beneath it. W ith each odd ingredient the woman threw , the liquid inside changed color . Neon green to a pale pink to purple to orange. If he wasn’ t so concerned about finding his friends, Arthur would have found it fascinating, but now wasn’ t the time to be frozen staring at a color changing cauldron soup. At the far corner he spots a giant cage, and inside it, his friends. None of them appear hurt from where he stands, but with how dark it is, they could be. He hopes not. Leon is the one who spots him first unsurprisingly . He was always the attentive and observant one out of the group. Arthur sees him minutely shake his head. He ignores it though. They’re his friends. As if he would abandon them! He looks over at Merlin who nods. Arthur is far enough away to not be noticed by the woman if she turns over to Merlin. Here’ s to hoping that their plan works. “I thought you said you would be quick.” Her hands still while the cauldron bubbles a ripe red. She turns around, stretching her lips into that thin smile. Maybe it’ s just the bright color of the soup...thing, but her hair appears to look an even darker red, similar to blood. Not to mention her wrinkles seem more pronounced than they did when Arthur was standing on her porch. He hears the woman respond with something creepy about piglets, and Merlin answers with a snark. Focus. Arthur shakes his head and continues to the cage. Now that he’ s closer , he can see his friends better and fortunately , no one has any bruises or scratches. Arthur sighs inwardly . He doesn’ t know what he would’ve done if he found any of them hurt. He crouches over to where Leon is. So far he’ s the only one who’ s conscious. “Everyone okay?” Leon nods. “Y eah, she knocked us out with something the minute we got inside.” Arthur shakes his head mockingly . “What are you doing going in stranger ’s houses Leon. You’re twelve years old. Now a ten year old has to save your sorry hide.” Leon rolls his eyes and smiles though it’ s too stif f in Arthur ’s opinion. Leon has always been the most level-headed of the group, so to see him unnerved (even though he’ s doing his best to hide it) only adds to Arthur ’s nerves. “You came inside this house, too.” “Yeah, to save you guys. Think you can wake them up while I get the padlock open?” Arthur hears Leon give a soft huf f when he goes to the padlock at the door . It’s also rusty with metal peeling of f the edges. It’ s too late to find a key , and Arthur doesn’ t know how long Merlin will be able to keep the woman’ s attention away from the cage. Arthur considers ripping the lock right of f. It’s already close to crumbling. Maybe, a simple yank will cause it to turn to dust. As he pulls on the lock harshly , he hears a shrill yell from the otherside of the room. Arthur snaps his attention to where the sound came from, praying that the woman didn’ t get to Merlin. He sees her bending over and holding her wrist tightly . “You insolent child! How dare you believe you can stop me from completing my ritual! I am no mere old lady . I am someone who can make the earth tremble, I am centuries old, I am not to be trifled with!” A scof f is echoed through the room. “Is that why you’re getting handed to by a kid? Some powerful being.” At least Merlin’ s okay . Not like Arthur was concerned. He focuses on his task. It appears that yanking the padlock does not cause it to crumble, so that idea is a dud. He looks around the stone floor for anything thin and sharp like a needle or screw . “Here.” Arthur looks up and finds a conscious Guinevere with an outstretched hand holding a pin. It seems Leon got everyone awake because he can see Gwaine looking at where the woman is. Her batgirl mask is gone and the carefully done hair Gwen would fuss over earlier is undone and dusty . Still, her resolve doesn’ t break when she looks at Arthur . “My mother gave me some extra bobby pins in case the ones I'm wearing fall of f. See if you can use this to unlock it.” “Thank you.” She smiles brightly and walks over to Elyan. She fusses over him while he rubs at his eyes. Arthur looks back at the padlock and inserts the pin into the lock. Arthur thanks the stars that Gwaine had taught all of them how to pick locks no matter how adverse to it he was in the beginning. In a couple seconds, Arthur hears a click, and the padlock falls to the floor . A sigh of relief comes from the whole group. Then a cackle echoes through the room. Right. Creepy , cannibal lady . Arthur slowly opens the door to ensure it makes no sound, and his friends quickly exit. Luckily , the staircase is right in front of them. They quietly sprint towards it. Arthur looks around for Merlin. As annoying the witch boy can be, Arthur wouldn’ t wish to see him caught by her . He can hear the woman calling for him in that haunting sing-song voice, but Merlin does not snark back this time. “Oh sweetie...where did you go? Come out, come out...come out little piglet.” Arthur shudders. He’ s definitely going to have nightmares of this. “I see you got your friends,” says a hushed voice. Arthur did not jump. He didn’ t. “Merlin!” He shakes his head. This kid is going to be the bane of his existence, isn’ t he. “Yeah, they're climbing up the stairs, let's go.” He sees the silhouette of Merlin nod and the two of them creep up the staircase, hoping the woman will continue to call aimlessly into the dark. Once out of the basement, all of the children run out of the house and don’ t stop running until they reach Arthur ’s home. They're all gasping for breath. Gwaine collapses to the floor . “Never ... again. Never again am I listening to my brothers.” “When I see your brothers again, Gwaine,” Elyan gasps out, “I am going to kill them.” “Seconded,” Lancelot breathes out. Gwaine lifts his hand to wave it in agreement. “I wouldn’ t blame you.” “By the way ,” gasps Guinevere, looking at a flushed Merlin, “who are you.” “Oh, I’m Merlin,” He reaches out his hand to her . She smiles and shakes his hands. “Guinevere Smith, but you can call me Gwen.” “Well, Merlin!” Gwaine jumps up and slides an arm behind Merlin. “Thank you for helping our princess and rescuing us.” Arthur rolls his eyes. “Again with princess? I already told you to stop calling me that.” “Sure, princess.” Jerk. Merlin laughs and looks over at Arthur amused then back to Gwaine. “He does look like a princess.” “See! Thank you, Merls. I will remember this day . The day Merlin confirmed that Arthur was a princess.” “We were almost some cannibal’ s food,” Elyan points out. “And I’m ignoring that. As you should too.” “Alright, it’ s late as it is. W e should all head home,” Leon says, pointing to his watch. The numbers flash with the time: 1 1:35. Crap. He promised his mother that he would be home before then. Arthur looks towards his house. The porch lights are still on and though the blinds cover the lar ge window next to the door, he can see a sliver of light. Looks like she’ s still awake. Maybe Father is back home from work, too. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Merlin.” Arthur hears Guinevere say to Merlin who smiles in return. “I just wish it was under better circumstances, you know…” She coughs and grabs Elyan’ s hand as they follow Lancelot back to their homes. “Bye Gwen!” Merlin waves then says goodbye to Gwaine and Percival with Arthur and Leon. When Leon leaves, it’ s just Merlin and Arthur . Both of them stand in front of Arthur ’s home quietly waiting for the other to speak. Even though it’ s near midnight, Arthur can still hear people out in the streets. After all that’ s happened that night, Arthur was glad for the sound of other people and looked up to find the moon in all its glory . “I should probably go inside. I was supposed to come back earlier ...I hope Mum isn’ t worried.” Merlin nods and looks back at the neighborhood. “Will I see you again?” Arthur gets out. Though it was barely a whisper , Merlin still hears it and smirks. “What? Are you going to miss me a lot?” He grins wide, showing his white teeth that reflect from the moon. “N-no! It’ s just–well, look…there’ s something about you, Merlin. I can’ t quite put my finger on it. That’ s all.” “Okay princess.” Arthur grumbles while Merlin laughs. Eventually , Arthur sighs and adjusts the sack on his shoulder . “Uh… see you, then?” “Yeah,” Merlin nods, “Until then.” Arthur walks to his front porch and presses the doorbell. He looks back to see if Merlin is still there, but all that’ s behind him is pavement. When his mother opens the door , he lets her hug him as tight as she wants, and if his hug lingers longer than usual, neither of them mention it. He asks for coco and when the hot chocolate is ready , both of them snuggle into the couch. Hocus Pocus is playing on the channel and they watch it together , and the two of them stay on the couch watching it and the movie after until they fall asleep. Chapter End Notes they're so cute!!! merlin cast as little children always make my heart soft T^T if you liked it, kudos and comments are much appreciated! Chapter 2 Chapter Summary "Do you live farther away or something?” Mor gana asks after they meet up with the rest of the group. “You could say that,” Merlin says with that secretive smile of his. “Do you visit often?” “Only on Halloween.” “Why?” Merlin shrugs and continues on their trek through the neighborhood. Later , their trick- or-treating would be interrupted by an afanc terrorizing the fountain in the park. Just typical park things, you know? Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Arthur never saw Merlin after that night. Thankfully , Halloween was on a Friday , so he could search around the neighborhood for the odd witch boy . No matter which house he went to, the parks he scoured, there was no Merlin anywhere. It was like he vanished from thin air . But that just can’t be possible. People don’ t just pop up one day , warn you about the (now arrested) cannibalistic lady , then poof from existence. For the whole weekend, Arthur looked for Merlin, but whenever his mother or friends asked him, he would deny it. Gwaine jokingly said that Merlin was actually a ghost. A troubled soul who was one of the lady’ s first victims, but shut up after Gwen began to cry . Elyan was not happy about that. Soon, the weekend ended, and Arthur had to continue on with school, though schoolwork was the farthest thing from his mind. It took until Christmas for him to believe that searching for Merlin was useless. Sometimes, he wonders if there even was a boy with him when he saved his friends. Maybe he invented the odd boy in his head to help him not feel as alone in a dark, abandoned house searching for his kidnapped friends. Arthur hated that thought. Despite the ten year old’ s inner turmoil, the world continued on as normal. Eventually , Arthur forgot about Merlin. Sometimes, he would stay up and think of the brown-haired witch with those really bright eyes, but other than that, finding Merlin and bombarding him with questions on where he’ s been isn't as important to Arthur anymore. There’ s no full moon this Halloween. But this year , it’s on a Saturday , so he can spend all of Halloween with his friends and figuring out a better game plan on which houses to go to. “You know , my brothers were talking about this old couple that—” “And I’m stopping you right there,” Elyan says, placing a hand on Gwaine’ s shoulder . “Last time, if you remember , your brothers led us to an abandoned house where a cannibal lived. No full bars anywhere and we were all scarred.” Gwaine shudders. “Right, yeah… good point.” It wasn’ t that hard to plan out which houses to go to, which houses to avoid; most of them have been living in this neighborhood all their life. Figuring out whether a house gave toothbrushes and those weird candied popcorn balls wasn’ t that hard to remember . The group agreed to start early , so as to have more opportunities at the popular homes. It was a normal Halloween, much to Arthur ’s discontent. No matter where they ventured in the neighborhood, he couldn’ t find Merlin. Arthur knows that just because it’ s Halloween doesn’ t mean he’ll actually show up. He’ s already tried looking for him and it was always dead ends. But for some reason, today felt dif ferent. Maybe it was because the wind sounds like it’ s whispering to him. Maybe it was because the sky seems more magical as the sun sets. Maybe it was because Arthur never really gave up on finding Merlin. He always searched no matter if he told his friends that he didn’ t think Merlin was really there. He always searched whenever he saw a head of brown hair that turned out to not be the bright eyed witch boy . Arthur kept looking even when he, himself, stopped believing. They were at the last house when it happened. Everyone just got down the steps when a loud squawk is heard. Squawk is probably the wrong word for it. Arthur thinks that it sounded like a possessed herd of geese flying overhead, but the sound of flapping wings made it feel like there was only one giant bird flying. Definitely odd. Thankfully , for Arthur ’s sake, everyone else jumped in surprise to the demonic sound of a giant flying creature. “Well,” Percival whistles, “someone is getting really into their halloween decorations. Got sound ef fects and everything.” “Oh, I can assure you,” says a familiar voice, “that was not sound ef fects.” Arthur spun around in surprise. He can’ t believe it. Right in front of him. Same height, same shabby clothes (he seriously needs to either pick a new costume or add more flair to this whole witch thing), and same bright, mischievous, blue eyes. “Hey! It’ s Witch Boy!” Gwaine exclaims and hugs him. He gives out an “oomf!” which is a classic reaction from being hugged by Gwaine. “T ell us then, how are you? Where have you been--” “Merlin!” Arthur finally lets out...a bit too loud. Merlin, still trapped in Gwaine’ s hug, moves his head over to face Arthur and smiles. “Hello, prat.” “Not a prat, idiot.” Merlin just continues to smile as if he can see right through Arthur . Once Gwaine lets go, Gwen goes to hug him and soon the rest of the gang give Merlin hugs, pats, hair ruf fles. Of course all of that is ruined by the demented screeching. “Right,” Merlin fixes his blue, pointy hat. “About that… you called it a sound ef fect?” Quickly , Merlin tells them all that, no, the screeching sound from above is not a herd of demonic geese but a full grown grif fin. How fun. “So… is the grif fin a danger to us?” asks Lancelot. Merlin shakes his head and starts to fuss with his sleeves. Arthur notices a thinly wrapped bracelet on his wrist. It seems to be one strand of metal wound around Merlin’ s wrist with a pale crystal dangling at the top. It must be new , seeing how Arthur doesn’ t remember seeing it last year . “Not really . It just isn’ t supposed to be here. Of course with today being when the V eil is open, something just had to get out.” When the V eil is open? What is Merlin talking about? Grif fins, open veils… all of this is too much. However , no one gets a chance to ask Merlin what exactly is the V eil because he quickly moves to a plan on how to send the grif fin back inside before anyone gets hurt. “Everybody got that?” No. No, everybody didn’ t. “Great!” Merlin claps his hands together , and for a second Arthur swears they spark. “Now , let’s see if we can get this giant bird out of here!” After hours of herding the beast, getting their costumes dirtied and ripped, they were finally able to lead the grif fin safely away from the neighborhood and into the wood where a portal ripped open for the creature to enter . “So… that really happened.” Merlin giggles. “Of course it did. I was with you the whole time, yeah?” “Right, right, I just...need a minute.” You know , because seeing the air in front of you split open into a swirling portal that the griffin flew into. Who knew grif fins were that big. Arthur almost got smacked by its tail earlier . Still, Arthur just saw a grif fin. A real, alive, flying grif fin. Arthur knows he feels a bit faint but does his best to stay awake. His father always told him to be strong and never show weakness to others. Gwaine and Elyan had fainted just at the sight of the creature. Merlin, though, he beamed and bounced with so much ener gy that Arthur didn’ t think it was possible. “So, what now?” Leon says. He was the only one who looked calm, and Arthur can’ t say that he isn’ t jealous. Although, Leon did squeal when the grif fin’s wings almost smacked him, so there’ s that. “Go to more houses?” Percival of fered. Gwen shook her head and motioned to her and her brother ’s baskets full of candy . “We’ve already been to so many , and I know that Arthur ’s sack will explode if we add anymore to it.” “Hey , my sack can hold anything! But, uh--” He gulps at the glare given to him by Gwen. “-- we don’ t need to go to more houses. How about…we stop at mine? If that’ s alright of course.” Everyone nods (including Gwaine and Elyan who are well awake by then). Arthur turns to Merlin, who stands close to where the veil once was. The wind isn’ t as harsh as it was minutes ago, but it’ s still there, blowing Merlin’ s tattered robes to and fro. As usual, Merlin is looking of f into the woods, inside his own head with his hat covering his expression. Arthur bets it’ s one where he looks idiotic with that soft smile and closed eyes. “Witch Boy!” That gets his attention. Merlin jumps abruptly and stumbles to turn toward Arthur . “We’re all coming to my house!” There’ s a small pause as Merlin scrunches his face at Arthur confused. “Okay…? And?” Arthur sighs heavily . He hears Leon and Gwen chastising him for being nicer , but it's Merlin. “You’re coming too, of course!” “I am?” Arthur huf fs at Merlin’ s surprised expression. He really can be dense. “What do you think ‘ of course’ means? Y es, you’re coming, Merlin, and you can’ t back out. It’s not allowed.” He can see Merlin’ s cheeks puf f up and his foot stamps on the dead leaves. “I know what that means, clotpole!” “Then come on! Y ou’ll be the last one there and miss my mother ’s hot chocolate at this rate!” Merlin hurried over to Arthur and gave him a shove. Arthur being Arthur , shoved him back but harder . This continued on until they reached Arthur ’s home. His mother greeted all of them, gave them hugs or hair ruf fles (much to Arthur ’s chagrin) and set to making her infamous hot cocoa. It happened like this every Halloween. Every year , Merlin would show up to hang out with Arthur and the gang or to warn them about some magical problem that leaked from the veil. The year after the grif fin, some pixies were creating havoc. Then it was a unicorn. Arthur remembers Merlin being so entranced by it, but he can’ t blame the guy because the unicorn was beautiful. Arthur likes that something magical always happens on Halloween even if some of them aren’ t exactly fun. Some years later , one of his cousins (Arthur isn’ t sure from which family) moves in since her father was a good friend of Arthur ’s. Her name is Mor gana, and Arthur quickly finds out that she is a harpy . Always getting him into trouble. Crying at the right moments to get at his parents’ heartstrings so she gets away with everything. Arthur hates it. That is until he beats her at chess. “You cheated.” Is all she says. Arthur can’ t help but grin at her smugly . They try checkers next, and he beats her there too. Arthur likes to count that as the best day of his life. They keep playing chess for the rest of the day , and eventually , Arthur starts to teach her better moves to play until she finally beats him near midnight. Arthur can’ t find it in him to be upset and celebrates with her . Soon, all of her “devilish” pranks and plans, Arthur is in on them too. He adds more details in her plans. Never do their pranks ever lead back to the two of them. It was nice having someone else around who wasn’ t staf f or his mother as company . He had his friends, yes, but they could only stay for a short while. Sometimes there were sleepovers, but eventually , they had to go back to their own home. Having Mor gana around was like having a little sister around to pick on, protect, and plan pranks with. She fit into the gang instantly , much to Arthur ’s relief, quickly becoming friends with Gwen and Leon. All Arthur needed was Merlin and their group would be complete. When Halloween came that year , Arthur found Merlin waiting by his fence as usual. Quickly , he ran up to him. Mother made him late again with all her fussing on his costume. He was dressed, this time, as a Camelot knight which is dif ferent from the other knights he dressed as years before, thank you very much. “Sorry , did you have to wait long?” Merlin shook his head causing his hat to tip to the right. “Nah, I just got here.” Arthur sighed in relief and looked up at the sky . “Ah man!” “What's wrong?” Merlin frowned. “It’s just… I know this sounds silly , but I was really hoping that it would be a full moon this year. Halloween always seems more mystical when it does.” Merlin hums and nods then quickly looks over at Arthur ’s porch. “Say , is that your mother calling you?” Quickly , Arthur turns to his porch but doesn’ t hear his mother call for him. All he sees is Morgana exiting the house in her “Empress” costume. He looks back to Merlin who wears his sheepish, "I-swear -I’m-innocent" face. Then he looks back at the sky and gasps. Up in the sky isn’ t the curvy crescent moon Arthur just saw . Instead is a bright, full moon shining in its silver glory . Arthur can’ t believe it. “How-how did this happen? W asn’t it just small a second ago?” Merlin hums again with his hand on his chin in a contemplating way . “That really is strange...W ell! Shall we go?” Arthur nods but his attention is still on the moon. “Arthur! Y ou’re mum said that you can’ t leave without me!” Merlin tilts his head. “Who are you?” “I’m Mor gana. Who are you?” Arthur snaps from his trance and begins to introduce Merlin and Mor gana to each other . Though there was a small hostile hiccup, the two start to get along. “I haven’ t seen you around, Merlin. Do you live farther away or something?” Mor gana asks after they meet up with the rest of the group. “You could say that,” Merlin says with that secretive smile of his. “Do you visit often?” “Only on Halloween.” “Why?” Merlin shrugs and continues on their trek through the neighborhood. Later , their trick-or - treating would be interrupted by an afanc terrorizing the fountain in the park. It was Morgana’ s first experience with magical creatures and would not stop talking about how magic is real and if she’ll get to see them again. It was also the night Arthur realized that Merlin wasn’ t joking when he said he could do magic. Merlin called him dense for that, but Arthur got him back by shoving him into the fountain. After that, the gang decided not to go trick-or -treating on Halloween, but go “monster hunting” instead. (Y es, this was Mor gana’ s idea.) Now , they would split of f into small groups of three and scour the neighborhood for any magical creatures that left the V eil. Unsurprisingly , being grouped with Merlin meant that they attracted most of the magical creatures, but that made it easier since Merlin could summon the veil and let them pass through. Gwaine likes to joke that they could create their own monster hunting Y ouTube channel, but Gwen would pipe in that it wouldn’ t be as popular seeing how most of the monsters come out on Halloween. Gwaine would then grumble about spoil-sports and just wanting to document their adventures. The next year , Percival brought his video cameras- one for each group. They never created a Y ouTube channel, but with the amount of recorded events they had, Arthur wouldn’ t be surprised if Gwaine and Percival made one. Even as they grew older and went to college, the gang would always come back on Halloween and go hunting for “monsters.” Of course, they found a way to contact Merlin, and Arthur makes sure to text him everyday . None of the group knows where exactly Merlin is from and why he can only visit on Halloween. Arthur has heard many of Mor gana’ s theories as to why . (“Think about it, Arthur . Why only Halloween? Why is our neighborhood the only place that has these problems?” Morgana drapes herself over Arthur ’s bed, leaving no room for Arthur to sit on. He breathes out a sigh and sits on his desk chair . She points her manicured nails at him as she rants about today’ s theory on why Merlin can only visit once a year . “Mor gana, I’m sure that other places have the same issues as ours. The V eil can open anywhere. Merlin said it’ s just this day that makes it open, not a special place.” He sees Mor gana perk up and turn around on the bed so her stomach is towards the floor . Her dark hair falling on her face made her look slightly deranged. Arthur knows that Gwen would call this messy look on Mor gana beautiful, but Arthur has a hard time associating anything beautiful with his sister . Terrifying? Absolutely . “Oh, I’m sorry , I thought you didn’ t listen to Merlin when he goes on about the…” “Mor gana,” Arthur sighed. “What did you call it? Ah, right,” “Mor gana,” Arthur hissed. He is not in the mood for this. “The ‘ hocus pocus thingy’ . But instead you do and just pretend not to. A w, is W artie really a softie for --” “Shut up, ‘Gana! It’ s not like that!” Already , he can feel his cheeks heating up, and Morgana’ s little grin is enough to know that she saw it too. “Sure it’ s not.”) Whether any of her theories are true or not doesn’ t matter too much to Arthur because, without fail, Merlin will always be there with him on Halloween. Whether early or late, Merlin will be there. “Do you remember the ogre?” asks Percival. Leon groans and Gwaine squeals at the memory . “Oh you bet, mate. How could I not!” “I could, I would definitely want that memory erased from my mind,” Leon mutters next to Arthur . Arthur pats Leon on the back and does his best not to laugh along with Gwaine. The ogre. Looking back, Arthur finds it hilarious, but at the time-- “MERLIN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CAST THE SPELL!” “I told you, Arthur . Spells like these take time! I can’ t just magic a portal and whisk Leon’ s beloved away!” “Please don’ t call her that,” sighs a distraught Leon. “I was drunk and it was thr ee in the morning. I’m not doing anything like this ever again” “SHUT UP , LEON!” --yeah… that was a stressful time. “Cheer up, Leon,” Elyan says as he slides into their booth, Lancelot trailing behind him. They’re at their usual pub, The Rising Sun, and, unfortunately , it’s crowded more than usual. Thankfully , Leon came in early (like the meticulous man he is) and saved the booth for them all. “Say , Arthur?” Arthur grunts in response as he reaches for his drink. Leon is back to being his dignified self again, so his arms are free to drink. “Did Merlin get a chance to let you know he’ s coming?” He hears Gwaine snicker and from the corner of his eye, see Percival roll his own at whatever Gwaine said. “You have his number , right?” Elyan nods. “There’ s your answer . Ask him yourself.” Arthur doesn’ t understand why his friends always ask him if Merlin is coming. It’ s not like the two of them talk that much. Sure, the moment Arthur got a phone, he immediately went to Merlin the next Halloween to gift the witch his own phone and exchange numbers with the rest of the group. But that was only because he couldn’ t stand their past communication of sending letters through birds. They would always scratch him or give his mother quite a freight if they swooped in from nowhere. Elyan sighs and turns to Lancelot exasperated. Arthur doesn’ t bother to understand his theatrics. Honestly , Gwaine’ s done worse. “Yeah, but Merlin always leaves me on read. When he does answer , it’s just short responses. Don’ t you two… have long conversations all the time-” (in the far distance of the other side of the booth, Gwaine whispers, “Whipped.”) “-and you always respond to him, so… maybe he’ll let you know?” Arthur sighs and drinks his beer . Finally he relents. Those dumb Smith siblings and their caring eyes that seem like they can see through your soul. “Yeah, Merlin said he was coming and to save him a seat. I already ordered for him, too.” Gwaine perks up. “Did you?” His grin is wide and cheshire like. Arthur knows that the next things out of Gwaine’ s mouth won’ t be anything good. At least, not for him. “What do you say , Elyan? My money’ s on two weeks.” O...kay ..? Not where Arthur thought Gwaine was going to take this conversation. He hears Elyan chuckle. “T wo weeks? Never thought you were one to hope when it came to this.” Arthur is very lost on what these two are talking about. “Oh believe me,” pipes in Percival, “When it comes to them, Gwaine can’ t help but have hope. Y ou should hear him going on about it all day .” That gets some laughs out of everyone but Arthur , who is still confused as to what is going on. “Of course, you would know about what Gwaine goes on about everyday , wouldn’ t you,” Leon teases. Percival flushes while Gwaine only giggles and snuggles more into the man’ s giant frame. Alright. T easing Percival about his crush on Gwaine. Arthur knows that. W ell, maybe Arthur shouldn’ t say crush since the two of them are dating now . However , Percival still gets embarrassed when the gang teases him and Gwaine about their relationship. Gwaine finds it adorable and never loses the chance to show them of f when the teasing starts. When Leon goes to buy them another round, Arthur notices that Elyan is short a few more people. “Weren’ t Mor gana and Gwen with you?” Elyan winces and rubs his necks. “They were… but, well--” “They decided to spend Halloween alone… together… after a heavy makeout session right in front of us.” Lancelot looks slightly haunted. The rest of the boys nod in understanding. Personally , when it came to PDA-obsessed couples, Arthur had assumed that Percival and Gwaine would be number one on that list but nope. T urns out his sister and Gwen can’ t ever seem to get their hands of f each other . Sometimes, they for get where they are and who they’re with and the constant kissing gets a little bit more… heated . Thankfully , the conversation shifts to Percival and Lancelot’ s job at a hardware store. Somehow , they get on the topic of dragons and whether one would ever come out from the Veil. It is here how Merlin finds them: almost drunk of f their asses debating the existence of the Fae. “I’m telling you, Leon,” slurs Lancelot, “they probably wouldn’ t need to use the V eil to get here. Y ou hear stories about them popping up when it’ s not even close to… what was the other name Halloween has?” “Samhain, you mean?” “Yes, yes, Samhain.” Lancelot bobs his head and the witch giggles at the sight. “Thank you, Merlin.” A pause. “MERLIN!” “Where have you been?” “Buddy! How you been?” “What took you so long, idiot!” Merlin just smiles and slides into the seat next to Arthur . He still wears that ragged, blue hat as always though this time, there’ s no robes to be seen. Instead, he wears a light brown jacket, a loose blue shirt with a red scarf wrapped around his neck. It’ s a nice look on him, Arthur can concede, even if it still looks like something Merlin just threw on. If they ever get the chance, Arthur is taking Merlin out to buy some real clothes that actually look fashionable. “Good to see you too, your royal highness.” Arthur rolls his eyes and gives Merlin his drink. For a brief second, their fingers touch. Only for a short moment, Arthur can feel how warm Merlin's hands are, but it ends just as it starts. Merlin brings the bottle to his full lips and the feeling of his hands are gone. “So, you guys talking about the Fair Folk? Y ou should be careful about what you say because they might not like it. For example--” “Come on, Mer lin! It’ s just harmless fun. Besides,” Arthur leans closer to Merlin. From here, he can see a small ring of gold around the witch’ s blue irises. From here, Merlin’ s eyes are so blue. Like the clear sky in mid-morning. Not light but not deep either . Arthur can feel Merlin’ s breath as he giggles. “W e’ll have you to bust us out of trouble, right?” Merlin huf fs and shrugs Arthur of f of him. Arthur falls onto Leon letting out an “oomf.” “Glad to see how you really feel about me. I thought our friendship was stronger than that.” Merlin sighs theatrically and pretends to nurse his beer bottle. “Y ou just want me for my magic.” Gwaine gives out a giggle and leans forward. “Don’ t worry , Merls. Magic isn’ t the only thing Arthur wants.” He wags his eyebrows and Arthur feels his face flush, though sober him would deny it. “Come of f it, Gwaine,” Arthur somehow stutters out. “Y ou’re drunk.” “Aye,” he hiccups, “but at least I’m not in denial.” You know what? Arthur is finding new friends. Friends who don’ t call him out like that. Arthur is perfectly fine with where things are. No need to say anything that might ruin it. “Alright, that’ s enough booze for you.” Percival takes Gwaine’ s bottle and hands him a glass of water . Where did the water come from? Maybe it was Leon. Or Lancelot. The rest of the night was spent rehashing their year to Merlin (who knew most of what happened because Arthur tells him everything). After catching up, the gang thought it’d be fun to ask Merlin about the V eil and what goes in and out. T urns out Lancelot was right in thinking that the Fae wouldn’ t need to use the V eil to leave the otherworld called A valon. Once it got close to midnight, the gang decided to call it a night and head back to their dorms. Leon was sober enough to drive them all to their designated places. Percival had to carry a sleeping Gwaine while Elyan and Lancelot stumbled together into their shared apartment. When they got to Arthur ’s apartment, Merlin of fered to help him inside. “Leon, I know you live on the other side of the campus. I can take him, don’ t worry .” Leon sighs and shakes his head fondly . “Alright, make sure to leave some aspirin on his desk so that his hangover won’ t bother him as much tomorrow .” “I’m right here, you know ,” Arthur slurs out. Hanging of f of Merlin’ s shoulder , Arthur feels loose. Like a puppet finally cut from its string but now has no direction on where to go. Merlin snorts and shifts Arthur ’s arm on his shoulder for a better grip. “Of course you’re here. Anyone can tell where you are by the sound of your pratish voice.” Arthur retaliates by butting his head on Merlin’ s neck. There. That would show him. Leon chuckles and waves one last goodbye to Merlin before driving away . “Alright, your royal pratty-ness, where do I take you?” It takes a couple stumbles but they make it to his apartment eventually . Sure, Merlin may have passed the elevator twice and almost dropped Arthur a couple more times, but they made it to his place in one piece. Arthur digs through his pocket, looking for his key but keeps missing the pocket entirely . Merlin rolls his eyes and reaches into his pocket instead. Once again, Arthur feels the warmth from Merlin's fingers. Even when they leave, the feeling lingers. Merlin finds the key quickly and unlocks the door with the finesse of a sober person, opening the door with a “tadah!” The two of them stumble inside and Merlin drops Arthur on the couch. Arthur squawks as the cushions hit his back. “Merlin!” Merlin pokes his head out from the kitchen. In his hands is a glass of water and in the other a bag of chips. “What?” He blinks at Arthur . Again, Arthur is lost, looking at Merlin’ s eyes. Blue ringed with gold and absolutely beautiful. “Yeah?” Merlin coughs out. Arthur snaps out of it. Right. Merlin. His friend. His best friend. Why did Arthur call on him again? Must not have been important if he’ s forgotten. “N-nevermind.” Merlin raises an eyebrow at that, but thankfully , lets it slide. Arthur gets up from the couch and walks over to the kitchen to join Merlin, who gives him a glass of water as well. They then start to talk about nonsense. How they’ve been, the pressures Arthur ’s father has on him, Merlin’ s new spells that he then shows of f to a delighted Arthur . It’s nice and quiet. Just the two of them. Arthur knows he’ s been sneaking glances every now and then. Hopefully , it isn’ t super obvious. Drunk or not, Arthur doesn’ t know what he would do if Merlin were to find out how Arthur ’s feelings for him isn’ t platonic anymore. Sometimes, Arthur thinks he spies Merlin sneaking glances also, but he knows that it’ s only the trick of the light. He looks to where the window resides just above the kitchen sink. It’ s a full moon. Full moons on Halloween are always the best in Arthur ’s opinion. The night sky alight with stars, the moon up high for all to see. But Arthur ’s favorite part of full moon Halloweens is spending that time under the moonlight with Merlin. Chapter End Notes these boys *shakes head* they're so silly but yeah that's chapter 2! i originally had plans to continue this to have a ch3 but for the moment just 2 parts is enough and it's super sweet anyway . (dw i have half of ch3 written but this wip has been on hold for sometime that i'm okay with leaving at two) if i ever do think to include ch3 here, it will be some later time and when i can figure out the ending. anyway , kudos and comments are much appreciated! Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Words: 10,454
Chapters: 2/2
Giving Up The Ghost
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The battle of Camlann is done, Arthur is mortally wounded and dealing with the revelation that Merlin is a sorcerer . His servant has magic. The one person he trusted more than any other had betrayed him…lied to him all these years. Merlin is determined to take his king to Avalon to be healed by the Sidhe. Over the two-day journey , Arthur slowly begins to realize that Merlin is still Merlin, magic or not. The most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth… his servant, his friend, and protector . When Mor gana catches up to them before they can reach A valon, Merlin makes the ultimate sacrifice for his king leaving Arthur reeling. Defying prophecy and forever altering the fate of the king and of Camelot. Notes My tribute to Merlin in honor of the T en-Y ear Anniversary of the finale. Long Live Merlin!!!! This is the story I have always wanted to write. From the POV of Arthur , his internal dialogue and emotional struggle with Merlin’ s confession that he is a sorcerer . The actual dialogue and story pretty much follows the final episode up to the point where Mor gana catches up to them. From there it takes a drastic turn, diver ging wildly from canon, and creating a whole new ending. Enjoy and I hope you all love it as much as I do. Feedback appreciated. If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Aftermath Arthur was drowning in pitch-black darkness. His eyelids were heavy . The pain was like a lightning bolt in his side. Mordred, how could he have been so stupid to trust the boy? So, this is how it is all meant to end…with yet another betrayal by someone he cared about, someone he trusted. Arthur Pendragon...trusting fool. It seemed that his faith in others was to be his undoing. Maybe his father had been right not to depend on others…to not trust anyone. Another image penetrated the darkness, a fleeting glimpse of the old sorcerer…Dragoon? Why would the old man help him? Why would a sorcerer fight for Camelot, the kingdom that had persecuted his kind for decades? It didn’ t make any sense. The old man had killed his father and now he was carrying him from the battlefield…how in the hell was a doddery old man able to bear his weight in full armor? And why was he crying? Guinevere, his beautiful queen, at least Camelot would be in good hands. He could go to the other world knowing that. She would be a great leader and Merlin would be at her side to help her just as he had been for Arthur . His reign was done. He could die knowing the kingdom was safe. He just needed to let go. Arthur huf fed a breath and opened his eyes swallowing hard. There was a crackling fire near his feet and a familiar figure crouched on the other side of the flames. He knew that ratty brown jacket. But how did Merlin even find him? Where was the old sorcerer? “Merlin,” Arthur said, amazed that his voice still worked. “How are you feeling?” Merlin asked, immediately moving to his side as Arthur tried to sit up. “Ah, ah mmm,” Arthur grabbed Merlin as pain tore through his body . Merlin gripped Arthur ’s forearm where it lay against his shoulder , desperate to keep that connection to his king. “Lie back…lie back,” he said, his voice thick with worry . “Where have you been?” “It doesn't matter now .” “Ah, my side…my side,” Arthur said his head fell back, face twisting in pain. “You are bleeding,” Merlin glanced down at the wound. “That's all right. I thought I was dying,” Arthur said every breath a struggle. Merlin looked at him again his blue eyes shining with tears, his face etched with worry . “I'm sorry . I thought I'd defied the prophecy . I thought I was in time.” “What are you talking about?” “I defeated the Saxons. The dragon. And yet...and yet I knew it was Mordred that I must stop,” Merlin said. Arthur patted Merlin’ s shoulder squeezing gently as his eyes widened, a slight smile on his face, “The person who defeated them was the sorcerer .” “It was me,” Merlin said fretfully , grasping Arthur's wrist as tears pooled in his eyes. “Don't be ridiculous, Merlin,” Arthur said, shaking his head slightly , “This is stupid, why would you say that?” He stared at him, struggling to grasp what Merlin was trying to say . “I'm a...” Merlin’ s voice faltered, tears sliding down his face as he struggled to find the words he had imagined saying to Arthur so many times. “I'm a sorcerer . I have magic. And I use it for you, Arthur . Only for you,” he spoke with a quiet ur gency . “Merlin, you are not a sorcerer . I would know!” “Look…here,” Merlin held out his hand, palm facing up, and uttered words that Arthur did not understand. Suddenly a familiar glowing orb of light formed, and Arthur's eyes widened in surprise as he remembered…all those years ago. He remembered that light. Arthur looked at Merlin as the truth seared his pain-addled mind. No, no, no, not Merlin… not the one person he trusted more than any other . Magic…Merlin had magic…it was not true…it couldn’ t be true. This was wrong…just wrong. Arthur wanted to run away , to put as much distance between himself and this person he thought he knew , but his body refused to cooperate. T urning his head, he looked for a way to escape knowing full well there was none...not from this. “Leave me,” Arthur breathed, his eyes wide with fear and pain, his mouth turned down in a deep frown, body trembling with cold and fear . “Arthur ,” Merlin said, his voice pleading for him to understand. “No, just...you heard. Just...” Arthur said his voice filled with desperation, sadness, and a bone-deep feeling of betrayal that dwarfed anything he had felt with Mor gana…worse even than when he had caught Guinevere and Lancelot together . He glanced back to see that Merlin had reluctantly moved away , putting distance between them. The anguish in his eyes was almost too much for Arthur to bear , but he could not bring himself to call him back. Arthur awoke to the sound of footsteps approaching, for a moment he felt panic, but then he had Merlin to protect him. Merlin…his liar of a servant. He could still scarcely believe it. Merlin…a sorcerer…a goddamn sorcerer . But then he always knew there was something about him. And hadn’ t Merlin all but admitted it that day in the council chambers? Admitted to being the one who healed Gwen’ s father . And yet Arthur had made fun of him, convinced everyone that he was a fool in love with Gwen. T urns out that, yet again, it was Arthur who was the fool. Keeping his eyes closed, Arthur listened to Gaius and Merlin saying something about Saxons, Comfrey , and Sticklewort whatever the hell that was. “Merlin, why don’ t you water the horses? And make sure they are fed, we can’ t hide here for much longer ,” Gaius said. Arthur waited until Merlin had walked away and then opened his eyes. He reached for Gaius, grabbing hold of his robe. “He’ s a sorcerer!” he said, and the older man just looked at him. “Y ou knew .” Of course, he knew , Arthur , you idiot. The man took Merlin in and cared for him. “Arthur , he is your friend,” Gaius said. “I want him gone.” “There is no need to fear him.” “Have him take word to Camelot. T o Guinevere.” “You cannot send Merlin. I will go.” “I need a physician right now , not a sorcerer .” “He can do far more than me, far more than you can ever imagine. Arthur , he doesn’ t just have magic…there are those who say he is the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth.” “Merlin?” Arthur said completely befuddled. Then he remembered what Gaius has told him after Mor gana kidnapped him. One day you will learn, Arthur . One day you will understand...just how much they've done for you . Merlin…Gaius had been talking about Merlin. One day he would understand just how much Merlin had done for him. Then he remembered what The Dolma said that day at the Cauldron of Arianrhod. One day , great King, you will r ecognize the true worth of those that surr ound you. Merlin was missing because she was Merlin. Merlin saved Gwen…it was his magic. Arthur felt shame and sadness begin to eclipse his anger . “If you are to stand any chance of survival, you'll need Merlin to help you, not me,” Gaius said, and Arthur turned his head to look in the direction Merlin had gone while the older man finished examining his wound. “Arthur , there is a fragment of sword embedded in your chest. It is not an ordinary blade. Y ou must trust Merlin.” “Trust Merlin,” Arthur huf fed a laugh rolling his eyes, “I’ll never trust him again.” “Merlin has always believed in you, Arthur…please believe in him…have faith in him. I always have,” Gaius said. “Arthur , there is little choice. Y our only hope for survival is the Lake of A valon and the Sidhe. For only their magic can save you.” “The Sidhe…magical beings are going to be willing to heal me?” “I cannot say for certain, but there is no other option.” “Very well,” Arthur said reluctantly , “I will allow him to take me to the Lake of A valon, but after everything…all the betrayals…this one hurts the most. Merlin…” “Arthur , Merlin did not betray you. He wanted to tell you the truth so many times. If anyone is to blame it is me. It was I who told him to keep his magic a secret.” “He could have told me after my father died…Merlin killed my father .” “You’re wrong, Arthur ,” Gaius said forcefully , “Merlin did not kill the king. He tried to heal him, but Mor gana had Agravaine put a necklace around his neck that reversed any healing magic tenfold. In trying to save Uther…” “Merlin killed him…” “I only discovered the necklace after , and it was too late to do anything. Merlin was devastated. He was so afraid that he had turned you against magic forever . That you would never know him for who he truly is. That is all he has ever wanted, Sire, to be accepted by you.” “This is too much,” Arthur said, “Leave me, please.” “I am truly sorry , Arthur ,” Gaius said then he got up and went of f to talk to Merlin leaving Arthur to deal with his jumbled emotions. The pain in his side had faded somewhat, due to whatever Gaius had given him, leaving him with little distraction from the internal turmoil. Merlin…his idiot servant and friend…had magic. All this time he kept his secret. Made a fool out of Arthur and for what? What was his goal? What did he want from him? “Arthur ,” Merlin said apprehensively , and Arthur turned his head to look at him. “W e need to leave at first light.” “I’ll decide,” Arthur said quietly . “I can't let you die.” “It doesn't change anything,” Arthur replied then turned his head closing his eyes. He listened as Merlin walked away . His eyes burning with unshed tears, he heard Gaius speaking to Merlin. “Let him sleep. It's late. Y ou cannot travel tonight,” Gaius said, “Y ou were right to tell him.” Arthur feels another punch to his gut. Merlin was right to tell him…he was wrong to have kept his damn magic a secret all these years. And Gaius…he lied to protect Merlin. He risked his life keeping the truth from Uther Pendragon. Arthur winced as a sharp pain radiated upward from his wound. Could he really trust Merlin to take him to some magical place? T o allow some magical beings to heal him? Merlin was there for him after his father died. Merlin was always there for him, by his side through thick and thin. Loyal, brave, and strong, and yet he was a liar . I didn't want you to feel that you wer e alone. Dammit, Merlin. How could you do this to me? Arthur grimaced as he tried to shift his position only to give up when the pain became too much to bear . “Stupid foolish idiot,” he muttered under his breath, not sure if he was speaking of Merlin or of himself…maybe both. The rustle of the wind through the trees, the crickets chirping, the sound and smell of the campfire. Arthur looked up at the sky and remembered a night not long ago when he and Merlin had camped out alone in the woods near the cave of The Disir . Everything her e... is so full of life. Every tr ee, every leaf. Every insect. It's as if the world is vibrating. As if everything is much mor e than itself. Merlin felt all that when Arthur could not because Merlin had magic. Why then did he tell Arthur that there could be no place for magic in Camelot? W ouldn’ t he want magic to be free? For him to be free? Mordred…Merlin wanted to stop Mordred. He knew…the prophecy…Mordred was destined to kill him. That explained the constant tension between his servant and the young knight. And why Merlin was so upset that Arthur did not kill Mordred when he had a chance to do so. Arthur ’s head hurt from thinking. His side hurt. His heart hurt. The more pieces that fell into place in the complex riddle that was his servant, the more he wanted to punch something. The clearer things became, the more he wanted to scream. He almost wished he had died on the battlefield rather than having to deal with all this. He didn’ t want to deal with this. Mercifully , he managed to drift of f to sleep at some point during the night. Arthur awoke at dawn to Merlin stomping out what remained of the fire. He groaned, moving his head, his eyes heavy with sleep. The constant pain in his side forced his mind to focus on something other than Merlin. “Arthur , we have to go now ,” Merlin said softly , crouching next to him, “Please, trust me.” “You want me to trust you?” Arthur scof fed. “Please, Arthur . When we get back to Camelot, I will take whatever punishment you choose…I don’ t care. Just let me take you to A valon.” “And if I were to order you to be burned on the pyre?” Arthur asked, staring at him fixedly . Merlin’ s shoulders lifted, his expression stoic, determined, “If that is what you decide, then I will accept it…I’ll even save you the trouble and light the fire myself.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, you idiot. As if I could ever watch you die.” Merlin gave him a half smile and then helped him up of f the ground, with dif ficulty , but he managed to get him to the horse and maneuvered him into the saddle helping him to sit upright. Arthur reached up dragging a leather cord over his head. “Gaius,” Arthur called out and the old physician approached, “Give this to Guinevere.” “It's the Royal Seal, sire,” Gaius said as Arthur placed it in his open palm “If I am to die, I can think of no one who I would rather succeed me.” Gaius covered his hand with his own and nodded before he walked toward Merlin. “You know he was betrayed. The girl, Eira cannot be trusted,” Merlin said in warning. “I know .” “How long does he have?” Merlin asked trying to keep his voice down, but Arthur heard him anyway . “At best, two days.” Merlin nodded then walked past Gaius toward Arthur . “Merlin,” Gaius said, and he stopped turning back to face the older man. Gaius hugged him tightly , “I'll have your favorite meal waiting for you. Now go. Look after him. Go.” Merlin stepped between the two horses gathering up the reins as Arthur glanced down at Gaius. Merlin then led them away turning to look back at his mentor a look of dread in his blue eyes. They traveled in silence, Arthur hated the silence, but neither did he want to talk. He felt the wariness and fear emanating from Merlin, his head constantly on a swivel, eyes wide and vigilant. Why was he doing this? Why did he care so much? If he truly was the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, he didn’ t need Arthur . He had never once asked for anything. He could have used his magic to get whatever he wanted, but he did not. Why? Crossing the plains, the weather was gloomy , the wind biting. Arthur sat hunched over the saddle shivering beneath his armor . Merlin looked back seeing two men riding quickly toward them. “Saxons!” he stopped his horse and dismounted. Scrambling to grab the rolled blanket from behind his saddle, he unfolded and draped it over Arthur . “I'll deal with them. Keep your head down. Don't speak.” Arthur grabbed the edges of the blanket pulling it tighter around him to hide his face as Merlin stepped away looking down into the wooded valley below . A puf f of smoke suddenly rose from the trees below . It reminded Arthur of a time long ago when the woman witnessed the horse in the smoke. He closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath that Merlin did not hear . “Help us!” Merlin called out waving both arms in the air at the approaching riders, “Please you have to help us. W e were ambushed.” The Saxons dismount and walk toward him. “By whom?” one of them asked. “These two men,” Merlin said. “What did they look like?” “Um...one was...a knight.” Merlin glanced back at Arthur seeing the exposed hilt of Arthur ’s sword. “They stormed our camp,” he said pointing toward the smoke to distract the Saxons while he hurried to cover it with the blanket before they turned around. “You're sure it was a Camelot knight?” “Yeah.” The Saxon pushed Merlin back as he stepped forward then yanked the blanket of f Arthur . Both men drew their swords. Arthur watched as Merlin’ s arms came up, hands outstretched and both men screamed as they were thrown violently backward. “You've lied to me all this time.” Merlin said nothing, he just turned, retrieved the blanket, and got back in the saddle. Arthur gripped the reins with one hand ur ging his horse to follow . His chest hurt even more from the shock of seeing Merlin use magic so openly . The display of his immense power only serving to fortify the sense of betrayal. They rode until dark, then Merlin helped Arthur of f his horse and down onto his bedroll which he had placed near the base of a tree so that his upper body was slightly elevated to keep the pressure of f his wound. Arthur watched as he gathered wood. After several minutes of failed attempts to start a fire with flints, Arthur huf fed a breath. “Why don’ t you use magic?” Arthur asked. “Habit, I suppose,” Merlin said, looking at him questioningly . Arthur nodded then watched as his servant’ s eyes turned gold and the wood burst into flame. “Feels strange.” “Yeah,” Arthur said flatly , eyeing Merlin as he stood and went to grab his own bedroll. “I thought I knew you.” Merlin met his gaze, “I’m still the same person.” “I trusted you.” “I'm sorry ,” Merlin said, his eyes flickering with sadness, regret, and something else Arthur could not decipher . “I'm sorry too.” Merlin looked at Arthur then got up, moving toward him, and proceeded to remove his boots. “What are you doing?” “They need drying,” Merlin said positioning the boots near the fire just as he had done countless times in the past then returned to his bedroll. “This will be good for you. Y ou need to eat,” Merlin said, supporting Arthur ’s head as he tried to get him to eat. “Why are you doing this?” Arthur asked and Merlin placed the spoon back in the bowl. “Why are you still behaving like a servant?” Merlin sat the bowl down on the ground. “It's my destiny . As it has been since the day we met,” he said giving his king a slight smile. “I tried to take your head of f with a mace.” “And I stopped you, using magic.” “You cheated!” “You were going to kill me,” Merlin shrugged. “I should've.” “I'm glad you didn't. I do this because of who you are. W ithout you, Camelot's nothing.” “There was a time when that was true. Not now . There are many who can fill the crown.” “There will never be another like you, Arthur . I also do this...” Merlin rested the bowl on his knee, supporting Arthur's head as he got him to take a bite of the soup, “Because you're my friend and I don't want to lose you.” Arthur could feel himself weakening. It was all he could do to remain upright on the bent tree he was sitting on while Merlin prepared the horses. Pulling a waterskin from his saddlebag, Merlin turned just in time to see Arthur slump over and hurried to his side to catch him before he fell. “Arthur , you need to hold on. One more day. One more day ,” he said as he wiped Arthur's head with a cloth. He then put the cloth down and removed the top from the waterskin. “Why did you never tell me?” Arthur asked. “I wanted to, but...” “What?” “You'd have chopped my head of f,” Merlin said then gave Arthur a drink of water . “I'm not sure what I would've done.” “And I didn't want to put you in that position.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “That's what worried you?” “Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me…I was born to serve you, Arthur . And I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't change a thing,” Merlin said then he looked at Arthur , “Ready?” Arthur nodded then Merlin helped him to stand, and they moved toward the horses. Merlin was leading the way when he suddenly stopped and held up his hand. Arthur stopped as they both saw the smoke from a campfire through the trees just ahead. “Saxons?” Arthur asked, then watched as Merlin clearly did something. His shoulders visibly relaxed a moment later . “They're long gone.” “How do you know?” “I can see the path ahead,” Merlin said, and Arthur immediately remembered the impenetrable forest and how Merlin got them through it and to the Dark T ower to rescue Guinevere. “So, you're not an idiot. That was another lie.” “No, it’ s just another part of my charm,” Merlin grinned then nudged his horse forward and Arthur followed. It wasn’ t long before they both heard riders and men approaching from the other direction. Merlin held his hand up and looked around then nodded to their right. “In there,” he said, and they rode of f the path and up an incline into a stand of trees. Arthur stood with his back against the tree for support while Merlin watched the approaching riders. He moved around the tree realizing that their tracks would be seen. “ Andslyht !” he said and out of nowhere a breeze picked up the leaves, covering over their trail. The Saxons stopped and looked around. Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold making the bushes across the trail rustle. “This way ,” one of the men shouted and they moved of f in the other direction. “You've done this before,” Arthur said, remembering the wind in Ealdor as Merlin turned to look at him. “All these years, Merlin…you never once sought any credit.” “It's not why I do it,” Merlin said, “Come on.” He then draped Arthur ’s arm over his shoulders and helped him back to their horses. They hadn’ t gone far when Merlin looked back to see Arthur slumped over the side of his horse. “Arthur!” Merlin immediately dismounted and went to his side helping him to sit upright. “I can't go on.” “There's not far to go. W e need to reach the lake before dawn.” “No, Merlin. No.” “All right. W e rest for an hour .” It didn’ t take long for Merlin to get a fire going. He glanced over at Arthur where he sat on the ground leaning back against a dead tree. He moved to sit on the log and gave him a drink of water . Arthur looked up at Merlin. “Merlin, whatever happens...” “Shh...don't talk.” “I'm the King, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do,” Arthur said with just a glimmer of amusement in his pain-filled eyes in an echo of their familiar banter . “I always have. I'm not going to change now .” “I don't want you to change. I want you...to always...be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you.” “Does that mean you're gonna give me a day of f?” “Two,” Arthur said. “That's generous,” Merlin said then as Arthur's head lolled and fell forward, he checked his pulse. “Get some sleep,” he whispered then looked around warily silently praying. Merlin had a very bad feeling as he looked up at the moon. He went to Arthur ’s side, shaking him gently . “W e need to get moving,” Arthur barely opened his eyes, and Merlin shook him again. “Arthur . We've wasted enough time.” The sun was just coming up when they stop to rest again. Merlin helped Arthur of f the horse and lowered him down to the ground up against a rock. He nodded toward the view of the lake below . “Avalon. W e'll get there,” Merlin said and a moment later the horses whinnied and spooked taking of f. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he shouted but they were gone. “Hello, Emrys,” Mor gana’ s voice came from behind him, and he turned around. Mor gana’ s eyes flash and he was thrown across the clearing. Arthur instinctively reached for his sword, but it was not there. Mor gana approached him like a predator stalking her prey . “What a joy it is to see you, Arthur . Look at you…not so tall and mighty now ,” she gave him a smug smile, “Y ou may have won the battle, but you've lost the war . You're going to die by Mordred's hand. But don't worry , my dear brother , I won't let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you until the wolves gor ge on your carcass and bathe in your blood.” “No, the time for all this bloodshed is over ,” Merlin said, and Mor gana spun around standing to face him. “I blame myself for what you've become...but this has to end.” “Please, as if you can stop me, Merlin. Besides, it is too late,” Mor gana smiled, “Arthur is dying. Y our beloved king cannot be saved no matter what you do to me.” “No!” Merlin said, his eyes darkening with rage and desperation. “Poor Emrys…with all your magic, you have still failed Arthur…failed Camelot.” Mor gana glared at him, her voice sharp as a blade, “Y our decisions brought us here. Y ou chose to sacrifice everyone else for the man you love.” Mor gana relaxed her shoulders and let out a sigh, “Ironic isn’ t it…that your obsession with protecting my brother will end in his death despite all you have done to prevent it. Merlin met Arthur ’s pained gaze as the king shook his head. “Merlin—Merlin don’ t listen to her…Mor gana is wrong,” Arthur said pleadingly , and Merlin gave him a ghost of a smile. “No, she’ s right,” Merlin smiled sadly , and Arthur ’s eyes went wide, “I love you, Arthur . I cannot let you die…” “Merlin!” Arthur shouted. He watched Merlin’ s eyes turn bright gold as he lunged forward wrapping a startled Mor gana in his embrace. T ilting his head back, he uttered a spell that had her screaming at the top of her lungs as they were trapped in a swirling wind. “Merlin, no!” Arthur tried to get to his feet, but he was too weak. He could only watch in horror as the vortex became a twisted, writhing form of darkness and light…ripping what could only be magic from their very souls creating a wave of power that rolled outward from their cores. A wave that washed over the land and hit Arthur full force then everything went black… Destiny Be Damned “My Lord,” Arthur struggled to open his eyes as he heard a familiar voice. “Arthur…you’re alive, Merlin saved you,” Percival said his huge hands trembling as he gently shook the king. “Merlin,” Arthur said softly , “Merlin!” he shouted gripping Percival’ s arm. “Where is he?” he asked trying to see past his knight, but Percival was using his body to keep Arthur from seeing the aftermath of whatever Merlin had done to save him. “Let me up…let me go!” “Sire, don’ t…Arthur , he’s—he’ s gone,” Percival choked on the words, “They are both gone.” “No!” Arthur said shoving the knight aside with surprising strength considering he had been on the ver ge of death. He pushed himself up of f the ground. Stumbling forward, he landed on his knees next to Merlin’ s motionless body . “Merlin, no, you cannot leave me. I was meant to die, not you. Dammit…Merlin,” he shouted, dragging his friend into his arms and cradling him. “Merlin—Merlin please…come on. I need you!” Arthur pressed his fingers to Merlin’ s neck praying he would find a heartbeat but there was nothing. He pressed their foreheads together . A deep, guttural cry of grief came out of him startling Percival who hovered nearby uncertain of what to do for his king. “Merlin!” Arthur shouted shaking him, “Y ou idiot…why did you do this? Y ou did not have to die for me, I never wanted this. I am so sorry…so sorry , Merlin. I love you too…I never told you. I should have told you.” Percival swiped at his tears with the back of his hand, stunned by the king’ s words to Merlin. Everyone had known there was a unique and powerful bond between Arthur and Merlin, but to hear Arthur express it in such a way was heart-wrenching. Arthur held Merlin, rocking him gently , his hand splayed wide across his chest. He shook his head tears streaming down his face. He spared a glance at Mor gana, his dead sister , and realized that he felt no anger only sadness and regret. He had let her down, failed her in every way imaginable. He failed her and he had failed Merlin. “I’m sorry—so sorry ,” Arthur choked drawing Merlin against him. He got his feet underneath him and stood up, lifting Merlin from the ground. Percival stepped forward to help him, but the king shook his head. “No,” Arthur said then carried Merlin toward the lake. “Your Highness,” Percival said, “Y ou cannot carry him…it’ s too far .” “I must get Merlin to A valon, the Sidhe will heal him…bring him back to me,” Arthur said, his voice edged with determination. “I cannot lose him.” “Sire, look!” Percival said pointing up into the sky . Arthur looked up as the Great Dragon soared overhead. “My sword!” he bellowed as he gently lowered Merlin to the ground. The dragon circled once then landed in front of them his eyes focused on Merlin and only Merlin. “Merlin?” the dragon said, startling Arthur and Percival. “You can speak?” Arthur asked. “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon rumbled. “What do you want? What business do you have here?” “Merlin…he is dead.” “He—he gave his life for me. I do not know what he did. Mor gana…” “The witch is dead,” the dragon growled. “Yes, magic…” The dragon bowed his head. “Y oung W arlock, I never meant for this…” he said, “This was not your destiny , Merlin.” Arthur stared at the massive creature and for some reason, he felt no fear . There was obviously something…a bond between him and Merlin that he clearly did not understand and at the moment he did not want to know . “Can you help him?” Arthur asked, desperation in his voice. “I cannot…perhaps if he still had his magic, but it is gone. His immortality is gone.” “Immortality?” Arthur asked, his mouth dropping open, “Y ou’re saying he was meant to live forever , and he gave it all up for me?” “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon said, “Y ou were meant to die, and Merlin was meant to live on, waiting for your return when Albion needed you most.” Arthur dropped to his knees next to Merlin and caressed his cheek. “Merlin, dammit,” he choked on his breath and tears slid down his face again. “Y ou weren’ t supposed to die for me.” “There is nothing you can do, Great King,” the dragon said, “Merlin is gone.” “What was that? What did he do?” Arthur asked. “The spell Merlin used to destroy the witch, it separated them both from their magic forcing it from their souls and casting it out over the land. It healed you, healed me…I was dying. It is why I was unable to come when Merlin called me.” “Called you?” Percival asked the question before Arthur could get it out. “Merlin is—was the last of his kind…the last of the Dragonlords. Like his father before him.” “His father? Balinor was Merlin’ s father?” Arthur asked, his eyes wide. “Yes, Arthur ,” the dragon said, “His gift was passed down to Merlin when he died.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “So many secrets…such a heavy burden he carried. And for what?” “For you, King Arthur .” “This cannot be. I cannot lose him…he’ s my friend!” “And yet it is done. Merlin made his choice. He chose to die for you.” “I did not ask for this. I would never…please, there must be someone who can bring him back.” “I am sorry , there is nothing that can be done. His magic is gone from his body .” Arthur lifted Merlin from the ground and looked up at the dragon. “If I can get him to Avalon, the Sidhe could heal him.” The dragon shook his head, “The Sidhe are powerful, but even they cannot bring Merlin back. I am truly sorry , Arthur . Merlin is gone. W ithout his magic…” “Then bring it back!” Arthur shouted. “It has been returned to where it came from.” “Where is that?” “The earth…the sky…the sea,” the dragon said, “Merlin was born with magic…he was magic. W ithout it, he cannot exist.” Arthur struggled to hold on to Merlin’ s body refusing Percival’ s continued attempts to help. He looked up at the dragon. “I am supposed to just let him go?” he asked. “I am afraid you have no other choice.” Arthur dropped to his knees again holding Merlin in his arms. His hands trembling. He shook his head slowly then pressed his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender kiss. He choked back a sob and gathered Merlin close. “Gods, I am so sorry , Merlin…please for give me,” he gasped. “For give me…” he cried out, gently shaking his friend’ s lifeless body . The sound of an approaching rider had Percival drawing his sword. He crept slowly back in the direction they had come thinking it could be one of Mor gana’ s Saxons. Instead, a figure emer ged from the woods and stopped cold as he saw them. “Arthur!” Gwaine exclaimed and Percival nearly dropped his sword in shock, “Arthur , thank the Gods you’re alive.” “Gwaine, you were…you were dead,” Percival stuttered. “Yes, and then I wasn’ t,” Gwaine grinned, but as he came closer , he saw who Arthur was holding in his arms. “Merlin…Merlin, no, no, no,” he choked stumbling forward and dropping to his knees beside his best friends. “What—what happened?” he asked. “Merlin…” Arthur choked, unable to get the words out. “Merlin’ s magic was released,” the dragon responded instead, and Gwaine barely looked at him, “It healed me and apparently brought you back to life, Sir Gwaine.” “Dammit, Merlin, I knew it…I knew you were special,” Gwaine said, his shoulders vibrating as tears pooled in his eyes, “Y ou cannot be dead.” “It’s all my fault,” Arthur whispered shaking his head. “Mor gana?” Gwaine asked. “Dead,” Percival said. “Merlin killed her , and he destroyed himself in the process. For me.” He smiled sadly as he tenderly stroked Merlin’ s face then smoothed his dark hair . “I will honor you, Merlin. I will be the king you saw in me all along…I will do it for you…” He closed his eyes tightly against the tears and shook his head. “Merlin…” he sobbed and Gwaine reached over to place a comforting hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “Arthur ,” Percival said, “Should we take Merlin home now?” Arthur looked up at him then the dragon and shook his head. “No, Merlin is magic. I will not see him burn on a funeral pyre in the square. W e will take him to the lake. Something deep inside me says that is where he belongs.” “Gwaine and I will round up the horses and take you there,” Percival nodded then he and Gwaine headed back into the woods. “You are right, Arthur ,” the dragon said, “A valon is where Merlin belongs.” “You said there was a prophecy that I would return, and he would be waiting for me.” “That is true.” “Then it is possible he could return as I would have. I will wait for him,” Arthur said, his eyes filled with intense emotion. “Arthur…” the dragon shook his head. “I will wait for him!” “Very well, Great King.” Arthur looked at Merlin again and nodded, “I will wait for you, Merlin. As long as it takes.” The sky was a blazing fire, the sun was setting over the Lake of A valon as Merlin’ s body was laid out on a bed of reeds, greenery , and flowers in a wooden boat. Arthur stood on the shore with his sword in hand, the sword Merlin had made for him. For ged in a dragon’ s breath… Kilgharrah told him the truth about its creation and its purpose. Merlin had given him the sword when he needed it most, helped him to find his confidence again…to believe in himself when all things seemed hopeless. He held it reverently , the blade glowing in the light of the sunset. “Arthur ,” Gwaine said, looking at him intently , “Ready?” Arthur approached the boat and looked down at Merlin, “I will see you again, Merlin.” He brushed his hand along the side of his face then leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s. He stepped back and after Gwaine and Percival said their goodbyes, they pushed the boat of f the shore then the three of them watched it drift out on the current. The Great Dragon flew overhead swooping down to set the boat on fire and Arthur ’s stood there watching it burn, feeling like his heart was shattered. Not even the pull of Camelot and the longing to see Guinevere again could make him leave that spot at that moment. His Merlin was gone…the other half of his soul. He felt the pang of regret and loss, but more than that he longed to be able to tell Merlin what he truly meant to him. No one would ever be able to fill the void he left behind. Percival and Gwaine were reluctant to leave him alone, but finally walked back to their camp and the warmth of the fire, and Arthur was left to his grief watching the boat burn and vanish beneath the water ’s surface. “Arthur ,” a woman’ s voice called out, seeming to come from the lake, “Arthur , do not worry . I shall watch over him for he was my love as well.” “Who are you?” he asked. “I am Freya, Arthur , Merlin saved me, he loved me, and he loved you, My King.” Arthur smiled, his eyes shining in the waning light. “T ell him…” he said his voice breaking. “He knows, Arthur…he has always known.” “Thank you.” “Live well and honor his sacrifice, Arthur .” “I will, I swear ,” he nodded, “Freya, will he ever return?” “That I do not know ,” she said. “Of course,” Arthur said softly then slowly turned and walked toward the camp. His wound may have been healed, but he still felt like he had a gaping hole in the middle of his chest. A hole that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Gwaine looked up at him as he approached, and Arthur could see the haunted look in his eyes. He had died and come back and his best friend who brought him back was dead. They would never get over the loss of Merlin. No one in Camelot would. “I’m not even going to ask if you’re all right,” Gwaine said as Arthur sat down across the fire from him. “I know you’re not because I’m definitely not, and Merlin…” his voice trailed of f as tears pooled in his eyes and he ran a hand through his long hair . Arthur gave him a sad smile and nodded, “One thing…when I went to the Perilous Lands, the man on the bridge called me Courage and said that in order to complete my quest I would need Strength and Magic…now I know what he meant. I needed you and Merlin…Strength and Magic.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh and nodded wiping the tears from his eyes. “Part of me wishes I was still dead…I would gladly die so Merlin could live.” “No, Gwaine…” Percival said softly . “Merlin would want you to live,” Arthur said as he added wood to the fire. “The selfless idiot,” Gwaine shook his head his lips parting in a fond smile. “Gwaine, you took Merlin somewhere…before the battle,” Arthur said and Gwaine nodded. “Yes, he was searching for something. I knew something was wrong. W e went to the V alley of the Fallen Kings, to a cave. Along the way , we were attacked by bandits, and Merlin was knocked to the ground. He cried out for me, his voice filled with such fear…I had never seen him so afraid, so uncertain.” “A cave?” Percival asked, “Y ou mean the Crystal Cave…” “You know of it?” “Only the stories. It was said that the place was magical…actually the birthplace of all magic.” “Why did Merlin go there?” Arthur asked. “He must have been looking for magic,” Gwaine said, “The panic he felt when the bandits attacked, he must have lost his magic and needed to get it back before he could join you at Camlann, Arthur . It is the only thing that makes sense. I asked him how he would get back to Camelot without me to protect him, he told me that if he found what he was looking for , he would be perfectly safe.” “Gods, I was such a fool,” Arthur shook his head, “Before he left, he told me that he had vital supplies to obtain for Gaius…I didn’ t believe him.” Running his fingers through his hair he let out a pained sound. “I all but called him a coward…all because he would not be coming with me. I was so stupid. I should have known…” “You can’ t blame yourself, Arthur ,” Gwaine said. “The look in his eyes…I really hurt him. I should have realized he was in trouble, but I was too focused on my own selfish needs.” “Why didn’ t he just tell us?” Gwaine asked shaking his head, “W e were his best friends. W e would have protected him.” “I asked him that,” Arthur said, “And he told me he was afraid that I would chop of f his head. That he never wanted to put me in a position to have to choose between Camelot’ s laws and him. T o be forced to lie to my father for him.” “You would have done so gladly ,” Percival frowned, “Y ou would never have let any harm come to him.” “It is my fault for not telling him what he meant to me.” “You should have knighted him,” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “Sir Merlin,” Percival huf fed a laugh. Gwaine fell silent staring into the flames. Arthur poked at the fire with a stick. Merlin’ s constant prattle used to fill the silence. Now , it was just silence…an overwhelming, dark, and cold silence. The king closed his eyes reaching into his memories for moments to fill the void. He chuckled softly and shook his head. “Merlin,” Arthur said, tears glinting in his eyes even as he was overcome with mirth. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, fearing his friend was crossing the line into madness. “Merlin…the old sorcerer was Merlin. I just remembered when he was captured and brought in front of my father . He called him a stupid arrogant old tyrant right to his face. He saved Guinevere from the pyre, almost getting himself burned at the stake instead, and the entire time I thought he was in the tavern.” Gwaine chuckled, “Y ou know he was rarely ever in the tavern.” “I realize that now . All the times I thought he was drinking himself stupid he was using magic to save me and Camelot.” Percival returned then, having gone to gather more wood. He dropped it on the ground and sat down. “Y ou’re telling me, that old sorcerer in the battle was Merlin?” he asked. “Yes, Dragoon, he was Merlin…and the Dolma,” Arthur laughed. “The Dolma?” Gwaine asked. “The sorceress at the Cauldron of Arianrhod where we took Guinevere to free her of Morgana’ s dark magic. Merlin could not use his magic in front of me and he could not be Dragoon for obvious reasons, so he became an old woman.” “Merlin turned himself into a woman?” Percival asked raising an eyebrow . “Not sure if he actually was a woman or just looked like one, but he was convincing,” Arthur smiled, “No wonder The Dolma got upset when we nearly for got Merlin.” “You for got him,” Gwaine said. “Not exactly , well yes, but in my own defense, my mind was on Guinevere and getting her back to Camelot. I came so close to losing her . Merlin knew even before I did that something was wrong with her . He always knew .” “Because he was a servant,” Percival said. “Servants are invisible, they see things that others miss,” Gwaine shrugged. “That and he knew Guinevere well, she was his first friend in Camelot,” Arthur shook his head. “So many things make sense now that didn’ t before. How did I not realize that he had magic?” “I knew there was something about him. I even remember the man at the bridge calling him Magic, but I didn’ t put it all together until now ,” Gwaine frowned. “How many times?” Percival asked, “How many times did Merlin save you?” “I don’ t know ,” Arthur said then tossed his stick on the fire, “I guess now I’ll never know .” “I can’ t wait to get back to Camelot and drink myself into oblivion,” Gwaine said. “Yeah,” Percival nodded. “Gaius,” Arthur shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes tightly , “How am I going to tell Gaius…Merlin was like a son to him. He is going to be devastated.” “I will tell him,” Gwaine said. “No, it is my responsibility . I will tell him. Gods…Hunith…” “Merlin’ s mother . I could go to Ealdor , Arthur ,” Gwaine said. “This is going to kill her . Merlin was her entire world,” Arthur dropped his head into his hands. “We will return to Camelot with you, Sire, then Gwaine and I can go to Ealdor to inform her.” Arthur ’s shoulders vibrated as a desperate and anguished cry slipped out before he could stop it. He brought his arms up hands clasped behind his neck as the dam broke and he came apart at the seams unable to stop the deluge. Gwaine got to his feet and moved to Arthur ’s side, “Arthur , it’s all right…just let it out.” Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions under control. “I can’ t—can’ t do this. I am the king…I should be stronger ,” he said as he rocked forward closing his eyes tightly . Gwaine wrapped his arm around Arthur ’s neck patting his chest. “You loved Merlin, Arthur , no one can expect you to hold all this in and not lose it. Better to let it out now when it is just us, yeah?” Arthur leaned into Gwaine, “I need him back…I want Merlin back.” “I know ,” Gwaine said meeting Percival’ s gaze, “W e will find a way to get through this.” “Drunken stupor?” Arthur asked. “If that’ s what it takes,” Percival said, and Arthur attempted a smile. “He wasn’ t supposed to die…not for me…not like this.” “Merlin would have done anything for you, Arthur . You know that. Knowing now that he had magic, I am certain it was him that night in the square. He escaped from the dungeon and used magic to extinguish all the flames so he could slip by us in the darkness and get to you when you were dying from the poison. There is no other explanation. Merlin saved you that night then somehow made his way back to his cell without us noticing.” “I gave all the credit to Gaius,” Arthur said rolling his eyes, “Gods, Merlin…” “The point is, Merlin would always choose death if it meant that you would live on to fulfill your destiny . He saw a chance and took it.” “Mor gana…she was my sister and yet I feel nothing for her .” “After all she did to you and your people, it is understandable,” Percival said. “Merlin said he blamed himself for what she had become. Mor gana told him it was his decisions that brought us here…he had been so focused on protecting me that he brought about the very thing he was trying to prevent. When he and I went to the Disir , Merlin betrayed his own heart. He said I should not allow magic back in Camelot believing that Mordred would die. He wanted him to die because he knew he was destined to kill me.” “That is the way with prophecy ,” Percival said, “Just because it is foretold does not mean it will come to be.” “Mordred lived and Merlin was forced to remain in darkness hiding who he truly was,” Arthur said, “I knew there was tension between the two of them, I had no idea why .” Gwaine frowned, “Leon and I interrupted something between them in the corridor one day they were in heated conversation. Mordred was clearly furious, he stormed of f. Merlin just said it was nothing, but we did not believe him.” Arthur closed his eyes for a moment then tilted his head back looking up at the night sky . “The burden Merlin was forced to carry on his shoulders. He must have felt so alone all these years…isolated. He had only Gaius and the damn dragon to turn to.” “Sire, you should try to get some sleep. W e can head back to Camelot at first light,” Percival said. Arthur nodded, wiped his eyes then let out a ragged breath. Gwaine stood up, getting his bedroll laying it out next to the fire and Arthur laid down on it. It took hours for him to finally fall asleep. And in his dreams, he saw Merlin smiling. “Merlin,” Arthur said in his sleep. Remember me, Arthur…r emember me and I will always be. Arthur jolted upright pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. Gwaine was awake keeping watch for Saxons that might still be in the area. “Arthur?” “I’m all right, just…” “What?” “Merlin…he spoke to me in my dream.” Gwaine smiled, “Y ou see, he will always be with you.” “I know he will be.” “The sun is coming up, Y our Highness, we should return to Camelot,” Percival said as he got up to pack their few belongings and take care of the horses. “Ready?” Gwaine asked placing a hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “No,” Arthur said getting to his feet anyway , “The thought of returning to Camelot without Merlin…it’ s just so hard to imagine not having him there. He became such an important part of the kingdom. People loved him.” “Then it is our job to make sure they never for get him and the sacrifices he made,” Gwaine smiled. Arthur nodded his lips parting in a soft smile, “Let’ s go home.” “My Lady ,” Leon said as he burst into the council chambers, “The king…he has been seen approaching Camelot. He is with Gwaine and Percival. He is alive!” “Oh, thank God,” Gwen gasped then followed Leon out, heading for the courtyard. She descended the steps just as Arthur rode through the gates coming toward her with Gwaine and Percival riding just a step behind. She watched the gates fully expecting to see Merlin. He had done it…he had saved Arthur . When Merlin did not appear , she met Arthur ’s gaze and her heart dropped. “No, no, not Merlin,” she cried, shaking her head. Arthur dismounted and she immediately flew into his arms. He held her tightly burying his face in her dark hair to hide his grief from the people. She cupped the back of his head holding him, feeling every shudder…every barely restrained sob. “Arthur ,” Gwen said, “Shh, my love. Y ou are home…you are alive.” “Merlin…” Arthur choked. “He saved you.” “Guinevere, he was a sorcerer .” “I know ,” Gwen smiled through her tears, drawing back to frame his face with her hands, “I know he had magic. He was always by your side, protecting you. What happened, Arthur?” “Mor gana caught up to us, she…Merlin killed her , she is dead. He brought us peace, but it cost him his life. In destroying her , he destroyed himself. It wasn’ t supposed to be…it was not his destiny . I was meant to die, Guinevere.” “But you did not, and I am so happy and grateful. I could not live without you, Arthur . Merlin gave his life for you and for that he will be honored.” “I want him back.” “I know , so do I, Arthur . Come inside, let’ s get you some food and you can rest.” Arthur shook his head, “There is something I must do first. I need to tell Gaius. And I need to write a letter to Hunith. Gwaine and Percival are going to ride to Ealdor to…to tell her that her son is dead.” “Sire,” Leon said, “I will go. Gwaine and Percival need food and rest as well. I will leave immediately .” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her…tell her that I am sorry . Gods, I should go…I should be there. Merlin was my best friend. I should be the one…” Leon put a hand on Arthur's shoulder , “You are clearly exhausted, My Lord, let me do this for you. I will bring Hunith back with me then you can speak with her in person.” “All right, Leon, thank you. T ake a few men with you. I do not want you going alone.” “We will leave within the hour , Arthur ,” Leon gave a nod then watched as Arthur climbed the steps with Gwen’ s arms around him. Percival and Gwaine gave Leon a grateful nod and then followed. Hearing the commotion in the square, Gaius was just coming around the corner when Gwen and Arthur came up the stairs and Arthur stopped when he saw him. The old physician looked past them and shook his head. “Where is Merlin?” he asked. “Gaius…” Arthur said his voice soft, eyes shining with tears, “Merlin…” “No, no, it can’ t be,” Gaius gasped, “Not Merlin…” “I’m so sorry , Gaius. He saved me. Merlin—Merlin is gone…he’ s dead.” Gaius stumbled back a step to lean against the wall, clutching his chest. Gwaine and Arthur both rushed forward to steady him and ease him down onto a bench. His hands were shaking violently as he closed his eyes. “What—what happened?” he asked. Arthur crouched down in front of him and grasped his shoulder . “Mor gana caught up to us. Merlin did something, I am not exactly sure what, but Kilgharrah said that his magic and Morgana’ s was returned to the earth the sea, and the sky . Merlin gave up his magic and his immortality…for me. I am so sorry , Gaius. It was not supposed to happen like this. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gaius shook his head, “I should have known. Merlin always said he would gladly die for you, Arthur . He loved you.” “I know—I know he did. He told me,” Arthur said, gently squeezing Gaius’ shoulder . “Did he suf fer?” Gaius asked his voice breaking. Arthur shook his head, “It all happened so fast. I tried to get to him, but this wave of magic…it washed over the land. It healed me and Kilgharrah and it brought Gwaine back to life. God knows what else it did. I have never seen anything like it, Gaius.” “I had no idea Merlin even knew of such a spell,” Gaius said. “Leon is riding out with some men within the hour to Ealdor .” “I should go with them,” Gaius said, “Hunith trusted me to protect her son and I failed.” “No, Gaius, it was I who failed,” Arthur said, “Not you. I should have known long ago…I should have seen the burden Merlin carried. No one is to blame but me.” “Arthur , it was I who ur ged Merlin to hide his magic. I wanted to keep him safe.” “And you did, Gaius. Y ou took him in, and you were there for him when no one else was. You treated him like a son, and I know he was grateful for that. I know the truth now , about his magic, about Balinor . I for gave him, I accepted him, and I told him as much before he died. My only regret is I did not tell him how much he meant to me, and how much I loved him. For Merlin, I am going to lift the ban on magic. And while I know it is of little consolation, I want to honor him and his sacrifice. Merlin will never be for gotten, and the people will know who he truly was and what he meant to their king.” “Thank you, Arthur ,” Gaius nodded, tears in his eyes, “Merlin wanted so badly for you to see him for who he was, and you should know that it pained him to keep his secret, from you especially .” “Merlin once asked me if I would call him a hero if he died. I should have told him then, but I was a fool. I failed to appreciate him. He was always there for me. Magic aside, he was the one person I knew I could always count on. He was a hero in every way .” “For what it is worth, Sire, Merlin felt the same. Even though he kept his secret, he did trust you. He gave all that he was for you.” “I know ,” Arthur nodded then looked at Gwaine and Percival, “Could you two please take Gaius to his chambers then once he is settled get some rest yourselves.” “Yes, Sire,” Percival nodded. “If you need me,” Gwaine said to Arthur . “I’ll be all right, go now ,” Arthur nodded then watched the three men walk away before turning to Guinevere. She stepped into his embrace kissing him tenderly . “Come, Arthur let’ s get you cleaned up and fed then you will rest,” Gwen smiled cupping his cheek, “I am so glad you are home.” “So am I,” Arthur said then let her lead him toward their chambers. Truth and Honor Arthur stood at the wall where he and Merlin had stood so many times. The place where he had said goodbye to his servant before he left to return to Ealdor all those years ago to save his village from Kanen and his bandits. He smiled as he remembered walking across the grass, acting like children pushing and bumping shoulders as they took of f running… friends…best friends. The sun was just coming up, Arthur had been awake all night. Every time he closed his eyes to sleep he saw Merlin dying over and over again. He missed him, his laugh…but then Merlin had not really laughed in so long. How had he not noticed? It was not just the magic Arthur had been oblivious to, but the loneliness, pain, and loss. The overwhelming weight of their shared destiny had been carried by Merlin alone. Arthur bowed his head. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a piece of cloth, faded blue, shabby yet beautiful. Merlin’ s scarf…he had found it in his room, it was the one his servant had been wearing the night he nearly died after throwing himself between Arthur and the Doracha. It still smelled like wood, herbs, and Merlin. The king smiled clutching it in his hand as tears slid down his face. “Arthur…” Arthur flinched, turning to see Gwaine standing behind him his face etched with worry and understanding. Arthur shook his head. “The queen sent me to look for you,” Gwaine said. “You found me,” Arthur responded, his voice sounding hollow even to his own ears. “You’ve been up here all night?” “No, just a couple of hours. Couldn’ t sleep.” “Gwen said you never returned to your chambers.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I sat in his room for hours. Been wandering the castle most of the night. Merlin was such a presence here…everything just feels wrong without him. He touched so many lives. How are we supposed to just go on without him? It’ s not right.” “I heard Gaius is staying in a room at the inn,” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “He is heartbroken. I fear for his health.” “And you?” Gwaine asked. Arthur met his gaze and shook his head, “How did I not see it? He was always there for me. How did I not see that he had grown so callous, so focused on keeping me safe? Gwaine, he changed, and I missed it. I should have been there for him. Maybe…maybe if I had, he would still be here…instead of lying on the bottom of that godforsaken lake.” “Arthur , you are not the only one who failed Merlin,” Gwaine said, “He was my best friend too, and I did not see it either . I was so focused on my duties as a Knight of Camelot, drinking in the tavern, gambling, and pretty girls. I should have been there for him too, and I wasn’ t.” “Yet it was you he turned to for help when he lost his magic, and when Gaius was kidnapped, because I refused to listen. Lancelot…you…he could not come to me for help because I was an arrogant prat who refused to take his worries and his warnings seriously . He was forced to fight his battles in secret.” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur , folding his arms across his chest as he turned and leaned back against the wall. “Why didn’ t you listen to him?” “Because I was a fool. I took him for granted. I could not see past my own pride to accept that Merlin was far more intelligent and discerning than I was. He was always better at observing and reading people. People like Agravaine…Merlin knew he was working against me. He tried to warn me, and I did not listen.” Arthur shook his head fighting his emotions, “I have a sick feeling that Merlin was forced to deal with him when it should have been me.” “What do you mean?” Gwaine asked. “Looking back now , when we were in the tunnels near Ealdor , Merlin went back to create a distraction, to give us time to escape. I think Merlin killed him.” Arthur leaned forward resting his hands on the top of the wall and shook his head. “How many times was Merlin forced to kill for me? His innocence was lost…his morals became blurred, his smile faded, and I failed to notice.” “We all did, Arthur . Merlin was very adept at hiding, not just his magic, but his pain and fear as well. When he found me in Engerd and asked for my help when you had gone to the Perilous Lands, I saw then how devoted to you he was…how far he would go to make sure you survived whatever threat you faced.” “The Doracha,” Arthur said softly , “Merlin threw himself at them. He was terrified, but he did not even hesitate…you know he of fered to take my place, to sacrifice himself. If Lancelot had not stepped through first, Merlin would have.” “I guess now we know how he survived their attack…his magic and his immortality ,” Gwaine huf fed and shook his head. “Y ou think Lancelot knew about his magic?” “I am certain of it. Y ou weren’ t here when he first came to Camelot. He killed the Grif fin that was threatening the kingdom, now I know Merlin must have had a hand in it. Gaius said the only way it could be killed was with magic and the two of them were thick as thieves from the beginning.” “Makes sense.” “So many things make sense now . Falling branches, wild winds coming out of nowhere, bandits falling of f horses for no reason or getting tripped up, the impenetrable forest, the immortal army just exploding into nothing.” “The damn W yverns,” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin was a Dragonlord.” Arthur nodded, “Merlin, found and lost his father within a day and I had no idea. He hid his grief, buried it, and was still by my side when I faced the dragon. He stopped Kilgharrah from continuing his attack on Camelot. Gods, I was an idiot. I could not figure out why Merlin was so upset over the death of Balinor , a man he had only just met. I still remember the look on his face when he turned around…” “Arthur , you can stand out here and continue to mentally flog yourself for mistakes that can never be fixed, or you can pull yourself together and do what you promised. Honor Merlin’ s memory…free magic so people like him can finally come out of the shadows and stop living in fear . That is the best way you can begin to make amends.” “You’re right, Gwaine,” Arthur nodded, “Thank you.” “No problem.” “You are a good man and a loyal friend. I know I gave you a hard time over the years, but I want you to know that I appreciate all you have done for me, for Merlin, for the kingdom.” Gwaine smiled and shrugged, “I wouldn’ t have it any other way .” “Are we still on for that drunken stupor?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Absolutely , we will have a few…or a dozen for Merlin too.” “That night in the tavern, before Camlann, when Merlin took all my money ,” Arthur chuckled, “Do you think he cheated?” “Oh, most definitely ,” Gwaine laughed, “I know I would have if I had his gift.” “Will we ever know all he did?” “Doubtful, but then it doesn’ t really matter . Merlin was a hero.” “Would you join me for breakfast, Gwaine?” “I’d be honored,” he smiled. They turned and walked across the grass. It was just before sunset when the bonfire was lit outside the walls of the city . People came from the lower town, outlying villages, and even neighboring kingdoms. Arthur stood beside the fire with Guinevere on his arm staring into the flames as they grew higher and higher reaching into the sky . Knights, squires, servants, merchants, and peasants all gathered around, little children brought flowers and precious stones, placing them on top of a low wall that stood close to the flames. “Arthur ,” Gwen choked back a sob and he wrapped his arms around her , “It’s so beautiful.” “If only Merlin could see this,” he said fighting his own tears. Merlin deserved this honor and more. He was stunned when people began to come forward telling stories about Merlin, his good deeds, his courage, his strength, and his loyalty . Some told stories of how he had saved the life of a loved one, and others had funny stories about Merlin’ s antics and his clumsiness. The cook told everyone how Merlin always helped her in the kitchen even though he had his own duties. She admitted giving him extra sweets hoping to put some meat on his bones and everyone laughed tearfully . It was at that moment when Arthur saw Hunith step into the circle of light, her eyes red from crying, her hands trembling. Leon was beside her , his hand on her elbow as they approached. Arthur let go of Gwen, moving toward Merlin’ s mother then gathered her into his arms. “Arthur ,” Hunith gasped and broke down crying again. “I’m so sorry , Hunith, for give me,” Arthur choked as she drew back, cupping his cheek and shaking her head. “There is nothing to for give, Arthur ,” she smiled through her tears, “Merlin…my boy , he loved you more than anything. I do not blame you.” “It should have been me. Merlin should be here.” “No, Arthur…Merlin’ s magic was for you. He was born to serve you.” “He told me as much,” Arthur laughed softly even as tears slid down his face. “Merlin gave his life so you could be the great king he always knew you would be,” Hunith said then glanced over at Gwen, “Camelot will thrive, and Merlin’ s death will not be in vain.” “I am going to lift the ban on magic, Hunith, so no one will have to live in fear the way Merlin did…the way you did, always trying to keep him safe. I am just sorry I did not do it sooner . I let my father ’s hate, fear , and indoctrination blind me to the truth about sorcery . I can see now that it is not magic that is inherently evil, that evil is in the hearts of man. Merlin taught me that.” “All that matters is what you do from now forward, Great King,” Hunith said, “Remember Merlin, remember his sacrifices and how much he loved you. He may be gone, but he can still guide you.” She looked around at all the faces and smiled, wiping her eyes, “Thank you all, thank you for coming to honor my son’ s memory .” Holding on to Hunith’ s hand, Arthur took a deep breath, he looked at her then at Guinevere and his knights. “Many of you know that Merlin and I did not get of f to a great start,” Arthur said with a slight grin, and many people chuckled and nodded, “The fool wasn’ t even in Camelot a day and he chose to challenge the Prince of Camelot, called me out for bullying my servant. I found myself strangely drawn to this peasant with a death wish. There was just something about Merlin that I couldn’ t put my finger on. I am ashamed to admit that I challenged him to a mace fight in the market, not one of my finest moments. Merlin nearly beat me too, though he admitted to me very recently that he used magic to do so. Then unbeknownst to anyone, he used it again to save my life and ended up as my manservant as a reward.” Arthur laughed softly , looking around at his people. “Having Merlin in my life changed me, made me a better man, a better prince, and ultimately the king that I am today . Despite the dif ference in our status, he never once treated me differently . He saw through my façade, let me know all of my flaws and just what he thought of my title and my arrogance,” he grinned, rolling his eyes as he glanced up at the night sky for a moment. The people laughed and Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions in check before he could continue. He let go of Hunith’ s hand taking a few steps forward as she nodded reassuringly , and in that gesture, Arthur found the strength he needed to say what was truly in his heart. “Merlin, lived in fear every day , battled foes we never knew about and some that we did. Camelot would not be standing if it weren’ t for his courage, strength, and tenacity . Merlin was forced to hide who he truly was for far too long. I myself only found out about his magic when he told me after the battle at Camlann. At first, I was angry and hurt that he had not trusted me with his greatest secret, but I realized that he only did it to protect me and the people he loved, the people of this kingdom and beyond. He gave all of himself, risking life and limb and even his humanity for all of us. I hope I can be the king Merlin saw in me, even when I was, as he so loved to point out, an arrogant, pompous dollop head,” he grinned, and everyone laughed. “Don’ t forget Clotpole,” Gwaine shouted. “And cabbage head,” Leon laughed. “Royal prat,” Percival chuckled. “Yes, how could I for get,” Arthur smirked. “I want to thank each and every one of you for coming here tonight. It means a lot to Merlin’ s mother , to me, to Gaius, and all his friends. Merlin will not be for gotten. He will live on in all of us. I know I will never for get him, and I will never stop missing him. He was the other half of my soul, and his loss has left a gaping hole that will never be filled.” “Two sides of the same coin,” Hunith smiled through her tears then brought Arthur ’s hand up to her lips. Arthur nodded and hugged her tightly . The rest of the evening was filled with tears, laughter , food, drink, and endless stories. Hunith went to be with Gaius as the old physician lingered silently on the edge of the firelight clearly struggling with his grief. Gwen excused herself and Leon accompanied her back into the castle, but not before she made sure that Arthur knew he did not have to follow until he was ready . Arthur was stunned to see Princess Mithian walking toward him, tears in her eyes as she shook her head. “Arthur , I am so deeply sorry , I know what Merlin meant to you. He was a good man.” “Mithian, I didn’ t expect that you would travel all this way to be here. Thank you for coming.” “Merlin was special to me as well, Arthur . I did not say anything at the time because obviously did not want to get Merlin into trouble, but I know for certain that it was he who caused the tremor that saved all of us. I caught a glimpse of his eyes as he uttered words of a spell then struck the ground with his hand.” Arthur nodded, “Unexplainable things happened around Merlin all the time and I was too stupid to see it.” “Not stupid, Arthur ,” Mithian said then kissed his cheek, “I will be forever grateful to Merlin and to you for all you did. My father and I, we owe you both our lives.” “How is King Rodor?” “He is doing as well as can be expected for a man of his age. He sends his regards.” “I hope you will stay on a few days,” Arthur said, “I would love to talk to you about lifting the ban on magic and get your input. I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and your people.” “I would be delighted,” Mithian said, “I should like to get to know your beautiful queen better , as the last time we were here…” “Yes, Guinevere will be happy to have a woman to talk to.” “It is good to see you again, Arthur . I just wish it were under better circumstances. I can see how hard it is for you to lose Merlin.” “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “I miss him.” “I know ,” she said then clasped his hands, “If there is anything I can do for you, please ask. “Thank you, Mithian,” Arthur smiled, kissing her cheek then she moved toward the fire. He glanced over and spotted Queen Annis riding in with her knights. He approached them as she slid to the ground and reached for his hand. “Arthur ,” Annis said, “I heard what happened. I am so deeply sorry .” “Thank you for coming, Annis,” Arthur smiled. “Of course,” the queen said, “I want you to know that I am behind you on lifting the ban on magic. It is time for the ways of Uther Pendragon to change. Magic should be accepted again and people able to live in peace, without fear . “I appreciate that, Annis,” Arthur said then motioned toward the food. Y ou have had a long journey please eat, drink, and I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and Princess Mithian.” “Ah yes, I am starving,” the queen winked at him then waved to her knights to take care of the horses and joined in the festivities. Arthur walked amongst the people and then returned to the bonfire. He added more wood as Gwaine came to stand next to him. “I always knew that Merlin was well loved,” Gwaine smiled, “But this is just amazing.” “I wish he could see it,” Arthur said swiping at his eyes. “Maybe he can.” “I want him back.” “So do I, Arthur…so do I.” “Are you all right?” Gwaine shrugged, “I’m alive.” “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “And I am glad of that. I could not have gotten through this without your help, thank you.” “You’re welcome.” “Come on let’ s get a drink,” Arthur said, draping his arm around Gwaine’ s shoulders. The days that followed were filled with council meetings, kingdom negotiations, and citizen concerns with the prospect of magic being allowed in Camelot again, some of whom had magic and were still afraid to use it openly . Arthur could not help but think about Merlin and how hard it must have been for him to hide, especially considering just how powerful he was. T o suppress his magic, to control it, and use it without being caught. “Arthur ,” Gwen said. “Yes?” “Do you want to talk about it…about Merlin?” Arthur shook his head, “I’m sorry .” “You do not have to apologize, Arthur…not to me.” “How did you handle it? When Gaius told you…” he asked, his voice trailing of f. “Merlin was your friend too. Y ou must have felt betrayed on some level, as I did.” Gwen sat down at the table, reaching out to take hold of his hand. “Gaius merely confirmed what I had already suspected. I knew Merlin would never have left your side unless there was something of vital importance. He loved you more than anything and anyone, Arthur . When I saw that old sorcerer on the clif fs and Gaius admitted to knowing who he was, I started to piece together the past. My father ’s miraculous recovery , all the times you were pulled back from the brink of death, the times I was saved from execution, so many things began to make sense once I added the element of magic. Merlin had magic.” “When he told me,” Arthur said, “I reacted badly . I ordered him to leave me.” “And yet he didn’ t,” Gwen smiled. “The way I treated him…I did not deserve his loyalty , his friendship…he should have hated me.” Gwen laughed softly , and Arthur looked at her curiously . “Arthur , you for get I was there in the beginning. I saw how you and Merlin were instantly drawn to each other . Tell me, that day on the training field, when you two first met…if Merlin had been any other peasant, what would you have done?” Arthur nodded and smiled, “I would have hauled him in front of my father . Probably made sure he was banished or at the very least locked up for a month.” “And yet you didn’ t. Not even when he stood his ground in the market the next day and fought you. Arthur , you, and Merlin were always meant to stand together , side by side as equals.” “That’ s just it though, Guinevere, I never treated him as an equal. Even that last day , before I left for Camlann when he told me that he would not be coming with me, I called him a coward. I am ashamed of the way I belittled him, and I refused to listen when he tried to tell me that Agravaine was working against me. When Cedric was possessed by Sigan and countless other times. All the years he fought for me and for Camelot and received nothing, asked for nothing.” “Arthur , Merlin served you, protected you, and guided you out of a strong sense of duty , destiny , and most of all out of love. I may be your wife and your queen, but I always knew there was a deep bond between the two of you that I could never hope to compete with. He loved you and you loved him,” Gwen smiled taking hold of both his hands. Arthur shook his head and let out a breath, “I couldn’ t…” “But you did. I have known that ever since the night you risked everything to find the Mortaeus flower . To save the life of a young man you could not bear to lose. He became a part of you. I saw the look on your face when he fell to the floor after drinking that wine. You did not stop to think about station or status, all you cared about was Merlin. Everyone saw it and they were proud of you for doing what was good and right.” Arthur got up from his chair and walked to the windows looking out over the courtyard as the sun set, watching his people heading for their homes, to join their families around the hearth. He lowered his head, running his fingers through his blonde hair . “Arthur , you can talk to me. I will not judge you.” “I know , Guinevere, I am trying. It is just so hard because I kept these feelings buried for so long. I never allowed myself to…” his voice broke of f. Gwen got up moving to embrace him. She cupped his cheek and smiled. “Just say it,” she whispered, “Say what is in your heart.” Arthur ’s eyes filled with tears, and he nodded, “I loved him, Guinevere…I loved him so much and I don’ t know how to be me without him at my side.” Gwen smiled, “I know , Arthur .” “How can you not feel betrayed?” “I have no right to feel betrayed. Y ou for get that I too know how it feels to love someone so deeply that you cannot be with.” “Lancelot,” Arthur nodded lowering his gaze, “He was a better man than me.” “That is not true, Arthur . You were strong, noble, brave men who loved so fully . You both gave everything for Camelot and its people. I love you and I always will love Lancelot. Just as you will always love me and Merlin.” Arthur hugged her close, “I do love you my queen…my beautiful, understanding, and wise wife.” “Arthur , I have news,” Gwen smiled brightly , “I wanted to wait to tell you when I was sure. Arthur , you are going to be a father…I am with child.” “Guinevere…” Arthur shook his head, his eyes wide, he let out a joyous cry and kissed her deeply . “That is wonderful!” “I wasn’ t certain how you would take the news with everything…I know it is a lot.” “I am going to be a father!” Arthur laughed. Gwen beamed up at him, stroking his cheek, “Y es, you are.” “I love you, Guinevere, so very much.” “I love you, Arthur .” “This is a new beginning,” Arthur said with a slight nod, “Albion will live, and our child will be brought into a world of peace and prosperity . A world that I could not have achieved without Merlin. I need to find a way to honor him.” “Perhaps you could start by learning just how much he did for you…for me, and for Camelot.” “How do I even begin to do that?” Gwen smiled, “Start at the beginning…with Hunith. She is here in Camelot. And I believe that Gaius knows far more than he was ever able to reveal before.” “The Great Dragon…” Arthur said, and Gwen’ s eyes went wide with fear and confusion. “What does the dragon have to do with Merlin?” Arthur laughed, “Ah, yes, I guess I left that part out. The Great Dragon’ s name is Kilgharrah, and he is the one who told Merlin of our destiny . Do you remember when Merlin and I went in search of the Last Dragonlord to seek his help when Kilgharrah was attacking Camelot? Balinor was Merlin’ s father . When he died his gift was passed down to Merlin. Now that I look back, I think it was Merlin who released the dragon. The idiot.” “Arthur , the dragon is dead, isn’ t he?” “No, Merlin let me believe that I had mortally wounded him back then. The dragon was dying of old age though, and whatever Merlin did to destroy Mor gana it released a wave of magic over the land that not only healed me, but Kilgharrah as well, and it brought Gwaine back from the dead.” “Oh, the day before you returned?” Gwen asked her eyes going wide. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “Merlin saved all that is precious to me when he ended Mor gana's reign of terror . He gave up his magic and his immortality for me.” “Immortality?” Gwen gasped. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “I was meant to die, to return when Albion needed me most. Merlin was to live forever waiting for my return so he would be there to guide me and protect me as he did in this life.” “Oh, Arthur ,” Gwen said softly . “Now you can understand this guilt I feel. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gwen sat down hard on the chair and shook her head, “Arthur , if you were meant to die and one day return. Could that mean Merlin will one day return?” “I don’ t know . I need to find someone who can tell me. The dragon may be my only hope of finding out. Which means I need to find a way to bring him to me. I must talk to Gaius…or perhaps the Druids. Or I can speak to Merlin!” Arthur said, his eyes going wide. “How?” Gwen asked shaking her head. “The Horn of Cathbhadh,” he said, “It is in the vaults. I could ride to the Great Stones of Nemeton and use it to summon Merlin.” “Are you certain that is wise, Arthur? Y ou remember what happened with your father .” “I will speak to Gaius, have him show me the proper way to do it,” he looked at Gwen, “I love you. I am so happy about our child.” “Go, Arthur ,” she nodded and laughed, “Go speak with Gaius now .” “Are you sure,” he asked. “I am sure. Y ou need to learn all you can about Merlin’ s sacrifice. I want our child to know him and all he did for us.” “I love you,” Arthur said then kissed her tenderly before leaving their chambers. “My Lord,” Gaius said as he opened the door to find Arthur standing on the other side his hands clasped behind him. “What brings you to my chambers?” “I came to see how you are doing and to ask a favor ,” Arthur said as he stepped inside the room which seemed darker than normal. Perhaps it was the lack of light or the lack of a certain someone’ s presence within its walls. “Gaius, I know what Merlin meant to you and I know that you protected him all these years.” “I did, Sire,” Gaius said as he sat down at the table, returning to his dinner . He motioned to the other bench and Arthur sat down. “W ould you like some food?” “No, thank you.” “So, what can I do for you, Arthur?” “Gaius, you told me that one day I would learn, that I would understand just how much they had done for me. It was Merlin you spoke of back then. I know that now , and I need to know everything, Gaius. I need to know all that Merlin did for me and for Camelot. The only way that can happen is if I speak to Merlin.” Gaius barely flinched at the last part, nodding wearily . “And just how do you plan to do that?” “The Horn of Cathbhadh,” Arthur said. “That is not possible, Arthur .” “It worked with my father .” “Only the spirits of your ancestors may be summoned by the horn. It will not work for Merlin.” Arthur ’s face fell and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Then how? I must speak with Merlin.” Gaius nodded, “The Horn will not help you, Sire.” “Gaius, please, I beg of you. I cannot move on without knowing the truth.” “Very well,” Gaius nodded sadly , “I will tell you all I know . There is no reason not to, now that I no longer have to protect Merlin.” Arthur lowered his gaze, “Gaius, I am so sorry . If I could trade places with him, I would. If I could bring him back.” “Merlin would not want you to, Arthur . I think he always knew he would have to lay down his life for you in the end.” “I feel so empty , Gaius,” Arthur said, “I don’ t know how to be me without Merlin. I owe him everything. I miss him, Gods…” Gaius let out a breath and gave Arthur a slight smile. “I know you do.” “I need to know what the prophecy says now that I have lived, and Merlin died. He was meant to live…I was meant to die. How can I call the dragon to me?” “You know about Kilgharrah,” Gaius said raising an eyebrow . “Yes, he came to A valon after it all happened. He told me of the prophecy and Merlin’ s father . I figured out that it was Merlin who set Kilgharrah free all those years ago.” “He did, but only because the dragon had helped him to save you many times. Kilgharrah was exceptionally good at telling Merlin just enough and leaving out the parts he should have been told. The old dragon had his own aims. I only allowed Merlin to communicate with him because I knew they were both creatures of magic. They needed each other .” “My father kept him prisoner for two decades.” “Yes, Sire,” Gaius said, “He believed that keeping Kilgharrah prisoner would set an example for any kingdoms who would ever think they could attack Camelot.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “That worked out well.” “Yes, but it did accomplish one thing, it struck fear in all those with magic. If your father could keep a magical beast prisoner , what could he do to them?” “My father was wrong,” Arthur said, “He was wrong about everything. Magic is not evil. Perhaps if I had known that then, I would have had time to save Mor gana.” “Mor gana’ s magic was far dif ferent from Merlin’ s. Her magic emer ged at first through her dreams…nightmares. She saw things in them that eventually came to be. Things that were avoided because Merlin was able to stop them.” “Sophia?” Arthur said letting out a breath, “I knew there was more to that story .” “Mor gana saw her drown you in her dreams. Merlin tried to get through to you to keep you from going with Sophia and Aulfric. They were Sidhe in human form. Condemned to live a mortal life for killing another Sidhe. Their only way back to A valon was to sacrifice you. Merlin was nearly killed when Aulfric slammed him into the wall in your chambers. When I found him, he was in pain and disoriented. Y et he still ran all the way to A valon to stop them and save you.” Arthur shook his head, “How many times did he nearly die for me?” “Too many to count I’m afraid,” Gaius frowned. “I remember , Mor gana dreamed of the Questing Beast…she was terrified.” “Yes, she saw you die.” “How did I survive? The bite was supposed to be fatal. And for that matter the beast itself, I know I did not kill it.” “Merlin did. W ith the same spell that he used on Lancelot’ s lance so he could kill the Griffin. Merlin enchanted your sword and drove it into the heart of the beast killing it. When they brought you back to Camelot, there was little hope. Merlin went to the dragon who told him he would need to go to the Isle of the Blessed. That he would need the magic of the old religion to save you. Nimueh was there. She gave him water from the Cup of Life, and in exchange, he bar gained his own life. Unfortunately , she knew who Merlin really was. She chose to take his mother instead. Hunith showed up here in the middle of a storm deathly ill and covered in sores. Merlin intended to return to the Isle of the Blessed to force Nimueh to take him instead. I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how he is—was,” Gaius said. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “He never would do what he was told.” “He went to your chambers, said he needed to tell you goodbye. It was then that I decided it would be me…that I would take his place. I went to the Isle of the Blessed to of fer myself for Merlin. I was unconscious by the time Merlin arrived. He told me afterward, Nimueh tried to get him to join her , to rule by her side…he refused of course. She attacked him with balls of fire. He ended up with a burn scar on his chest from the one that hit him. He pulled lightning from the storm raging overhead and killed her . In taking her life, the balance was restored and Hunith lived…I lived.” “And I lived…” Arthur let out a ragged breath. “It was Merlin’ s duty , his destiny to protect you…his purpose…the purpose for his magic. He was born with it, Arthur . For Merlin, magic was like breathing…a part of him.” “So, when he said that he was born to serve me…” “Yes,” Gaius nodded. “Gods, Gaius, what did I ever do to deserve him? He was a far better man than me.” “Merlin would be the first to disagree with that, Arthur . Your father was a friend, but even I can admit that he was a hard man, cruel and unyielding at times. He made me take an oath to never tell you the truth about Nimueh and your birth. I am sorry , truly . I was a foolish old man, I let fear direct my actions. If I had not then Merlin and Mor gana would still be with us. Y ou have lost so much, Arthur…” Gaius frowned and shook his head. “Guinevere told me that she is with child,” Arthur smiled. Gaius smiled, “I am happy for you both. Y ou will be a wonderful father , Arthur .” “If Merlin had not done what he did, I would not be here. My child would have grown up without a father just as I grew up without my mother .” “Then Merlin fulfilled his destiny ,” Gaius said. “I want him back. I need him back,” Arthur said. “That is not possible, no matter how much I wish it were. I loved Merlin as a son.” “I know you did.” Gaius looked at Arthur intently . “Arthur , there is one place where you may be able to communicate with Merlin. I cannot guarantee that it will work.” “Please, Gaius. I will do whatever it takes.” “The reason Merlin was not able to go with you to Camlann…Mor gana took his magic using a creature of the Old Religion, called the Gean Canach. His only hope of regaining it was to travel to the place where magic was born. It is called the Crystal Cave and lies in the V alley of the Fallen Kings. Mor gana showed up and brought down the cave entrance trapping Merlin inside. He was injured and without his magic. Desperate to get to you before the battle. He told me that his father appeared to him in the cave and helped him to regain his magic. He used the crystals to send you the message about the hidden path in the mountains.” “Yes, he did.” “Perhaps if you go to the Crystal Cave there may be a way to communicate with Merlin. I will need to do some research. If you can give me a day or so.” “Yes, of course, Gaius,” Arthur said, “But will I need the help of magic?” “I will be able to tell you more once I look into it.” “Very well, it is getting late. I would like to speak with you more tomorrow , Gaius.” “You know where to find me, My Lord,” Gaius nodded, “Good night, Arthur .” “Good night, Gaius,” Arthur said then left the chambers. He walked down the silent corridor , but instead of returning to their chambers, he walked outside and down the steps. He needed a drink. Heading for the tavern he walked in to find Gwaine and Percival at a table staring at their tankards of mead not saying anything. The fire was burning in the hearth, and the barkeep looked up, surprised to see the king. “My Lord,” he bowed, “What can I get you, Sire?” “Whatever they are having, please,” Arthur said then walked over to the table and pulled up a chair . Gwaine and Percival took a moment to even realize he was there, nearly jumping out of their skin when they did. “Arthur!” Percival said in surprise. Gwaine turned to look at him, his eyes glazed over . “Every time I see you, I look for him,” he huf fed a pained laugh, his words slurred, “But then I remember , and it feels like a knife through the gut.” Arthur nodded, taking a drink of his mead as soon as Evoric placed it in front of him. “I keep expecting him to show up with some ridiculous story about falling asleep in the woods. Gods, I miss that smile and his annoying prattle. I would give anything to hear him call me a Clotpole or a dollop head again.” “Merlin never held back on his insults, did he,” Gwaine chuckled. “Arthur ,” Percival said, “Do you think it was his magic that saved him after the Doracha?” “Knowing what I know now I am certain of it,” Arthur said as Evoric brought him a second tankard of mead before he’d even finished the first. He shrugged, swallowed down the first, then started on the second. It wasn’ t proper for the king to get drunk in a tavern, but he couldn’ t find a reason to care right now . “Lancelot must have known that Merlin had magic,” Percival nodded. “Yeah, Gaius confirmed my suspicions. Merlin enchanted the lance he used to kill the Grif fin back when he first came to Camelot. The first time he was made a knight and my father stripped him of his title because his seal of nobility was for ged…which I believe a certain Warlock was responsible for as well.” “Warlock? Sorcerer? Dragonlord?” Gwaine said, “Merlin was just full of surprises.” “What is the dif ference between a W arlock and a Sorcerer?” Percival asked. “From what Gaius told me, Merlin was born with his magic,” Arthur said, “It was as much a part of him as breathing, or the blood pumping through his veins. Sorcerers may have a gift, but they study magic, it does not come naturally to them. Merlin was magic, but he learned how to use it properly from Gaius. So, I suppose, in a way , he was both.” “Was it really Mordred who mortally wounded you?” Gwaine asked Arthur . “Yes,” Arthur nodded taking a drink of his mead, “I hesitated…that is all it took. He said I gave him no other choice. When I ran him through, he smiled…he smiled like he was relieved. It made no sense. I cared about him…trained him and he turned against me over a girl he hadn’ t seen since he was a child.” “You gave her a chance, Arthur…she refused your of fer,” Gwaine shook his head. “But Mordred didn’ t know that did he,” Arthur frowned. “This prophecy…” Percival said, “Merlin knew about it?” “Explains why he and Mordred were always at odds. I thought maybe Merlin was just jealous of the attention you were paying to Mordred,” Gwaine frowned. Arthur nodded, “I see that now . It must have been so hard for him knowing that Mordred had magic like him and yet he was merely a servant and I made Mordred a knight.” “If you had known Mordred had magic you wouldn’ t have done so,” Percival said. “No, I most likely would not have. Merlin is the one who deserved to be a knight,” Arthur shook his head, “Gods, I am ashamed of the way I treated him. I still have no idea how many times he saved my life…how many times he saved Camelot.” The door opened then, and they looked around as Leon walked in, and waved to Evoric who nodded and poured another tankard of mead. “Thought I might find you all here,” Leon said as he pulled up a chair , sat down, then looked at Arthur . “Are you all right, Sire?” Arthur shook his head, “Why wouldn’ t I be? I have only lost the other half of my soul.” “I’m sorry ,” Leon frowned. “No, it is I who should be sorry ,” Arthur said patting Leon’ s shoulder , “I have been neglecting my kingly duties placing too much on your shoulders.” “The queen sent me to find you, she is worried.” “I should probably go back.” “No, perhaps this is what you need…to talk about Merlin,” Leon said, “I am certain she understands.” “What kind of man am I?” Arthur asked, his words beginning to slur as he drank a third tankard of mead, “My queen…my wife, she is with child and I am here, with you lot, grieving over my servant…best friend…protector…sorcerer…warlock…Dragonlord.” “You’re going to be a father?” Leon smiled. “Yep, I am, and if not for Merlin I would have died and never known about my child.” “Cheers,” Gwaine and Percival smiled then downed their mead. “I’m drunk,” Arthur said. “Me too?” Gwaine smirked. Arthur shook his head then let it fall back and chuckled, “Merlin used his magic in our fight in the market, he admitted it to me. I had no idea. He would have won if Gaius had not distracted him. I hit him with a broomstick.” “Low blow ,” Percival smirked. “Heard about that fight, didn’ t see it for myself,” Leon smiled. “Then he saved my life, and as a reward, my father made him my manservant.” “Sounds more like a punishment,” Gwaine grinned. “You’re not wrong,” Arthur shrugged his eyes growing wider , “Sacked him after the snakes in the shield thing with V aliant. I was an idiot.” “You obviously hired him back,” Percival said. “Yes, I couldn’ t stand the thought of anyone else replacing him…and now…” “There’ s always Geor ge,” Leon smirked. Arthur glared at him, “I would rather wash my own socks than have to deal with Geor ge.” “He is rather stif f and proper ,” Gwaine laughed. “That’ s just it, he is too ef ficient for our king,” Leon chuckled. “And he’ s not Merlin,” Arthur said finishing his mead, “I want Merlin back.” “We all do,” Leon said, “He was a friend to all of us…a brother really .” Arthur leaned forward placing his head in his hands, elbows on the table. The others looked at each other , clearly concerned for their friend and king. He huf fed a laugh then dropped his hands, his eyes shining with tears. “I am really , really drunk,” he said. “Me too, but not enough yet,” Gwaine mumbled then tipped his empty tankard upside down. “We should get you two back to the palace,” Leon said. “No,” Arthur said then turned to the barkeep, “Evoric, do you have a room available?” “Yes, of course, Y our Highness,” he nodded, “I shall give you my best room.” “One for Gwaine too…Percival?” “No, I am not that drunk, but I’ll help get Gwaine upstairs.” “My Lord, the room I have for you has a second bed for Sir Gwaine or I can give him a separate room,” Evoric said. “No need, Gwaine can share the room with me,” Arthur said as he stood up, swaying on his feet to the point where Leon had to prop him up. “Thank you, Leon. W ill you please send word to Guinevere…tell her I am sorry .” “I am certain she will understand, Arthur ,” Leon said then helped his king up the stairs with Percival following behind, Gwaine leaning heavily on him. Reaching the top of the stairs, they followed Evoric to the end of the long hallway . He unlocked the door opening it wide, stepping inside to light the candles and start a fire in the hearth. “Here we are,” Evoric smiled. Leon sat Arthur down on the lar ger bed near the fire. Percival dropped Gwaine on the smaller bed by the wall then pulled his boots of f. “You’re a good friend…a very big, good friend,” Gwaine smirked and Percival rolled his eyes placing his boots near the hearth. “Leon,” Arthur said then let out a loud burp that made Gwaine laugh. Leon shook his head, taking of f Arthur ’s boots. “Lie down, Arthur , you need to rest.” “Can’ t sleep,” Arthur said as he laid back on the pillow , “I close my eyes, I see Merlin dying…over and over and over again. I will never get that vision out of my head as long as I live. He should be here…not me. It should be me lying in that godforsaken lake.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom. Camelot would be nothing without you, Arthur ,” Leon said with conviction. “Merlin said those exact words to me on the way to A valon,” Arthur said pinching the bridge of his nose before running his fingers through his hair which had gotten too long, but he had no desire to let anyone cut it…that was Merlin’ s job…” “Arthur ,” Leon said, “See you in the morning, rest.” He headed toward the door and Percival followed him out, closing the door behind them, leaving Arthur and Gwaine in silence. “I should have been there,” Gwaine choked out, his voice rough. “Gwaine…” “It was my fault. If I had not convinced Percival that we should go after Mor gana…she would not have gone to A valon. Merlin would be alive, and he would have had time to save you.” “No, Gwaine…don’ t put that on yourself.” “I was so angry about Eira…I allowed her into my bed…I trusted her .” Arthur huf fed a bitter laugh, “I know all about trusting people I should not have. Y ou are not to blame, Gwaine. I do not blame you.” Gwaine let out a growl, kicking the end of the bed. “All of this goes back to your father . His hatred of magic did this…he took Merlin from us.” Arthur fell silent and Gwaine pushed himself up to a seated position, back against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest, then folded his hands across the back of his head. Arthur rolled onto his side facing his knight, “I had the chance to kill my father .” “What?” Gwaine asked, looking at him. “Merlin lied to me…he lied to stop me from killing my father .” “What happened?” “Mor gause conjured the spirit of my mother , Ygraine, who told me the truth about my birth…what my father did. The reason he started the Great Pur ge in the first place. My mother could not conceive so he turned to magic for an heir . I do not know if he knew what the price would be, but in the end, my mother died so I could live…balance…a life for a life. I was angry…Gods, so angry . Upon returning to Camelot, I was out for his blood, I challenged him…demanded that he fight me. I had the point of my sword at his chest when Merlin burst in and told me that Mor gause lied, that it was not my mother I saw . That it was all a lie to tear apart the kingdom. Merlin could have let me kill my father , he would have been free, but instead, he lied, and I dropped my sword.” “Sounds like Merlin,” Gwaine said, “So unselfish. Always putting others ahead of his own needs.” “I still feel such shame for the way I reacted when he told me about his magic.” “It’s understandable, Arthur .” Arthur nodded, “I thought I knew him…and the whole time he was hiding this huge part of himself. I should have known. W e were…” “You loved each other .” “Yeah,” Arthur said with a soft laugh then sat upright and looked at Gwaine, “He was your best friend too, you really didn’ t feel hurt?” “No, not at all,” Gwaine shook his head, “Merlin kept his secret to protect himself. He lived in fear every day of his life. That is something you and I could never possibly understand. Even before he came to Camelot, he grew up in Essetir…Cenred was well known for imprisoning and enslaving those with magic. He had no chance…stay or leave, he would always be in danger . Coming to Camelot was his best chance at survival. Becoming your servant was his destiny .” Arthur nodded, tears pooling in his eyes, “Y ou’re a wise man, Sir Gwaine.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh, “I’m really not.” “True…but thank you…thank you for being here for me.” “And we owe Merlin for that as well don’ t we.” “What did Mor gana do to you?” “Ah, that nasty snake thing…the same one she used on Elyan to find out you all were going to Ealdor ,” Gwaine shivered. “Gods, I hate snakes.” “I hate spiders…giant hairy spiders,” Arthur muttered. “Definitely hate spiders and snakes. Don’ t mind dragons so much now .” Arthur laughed, “Me neither .” “Still hate W yverns though.” “Gaius thinks I might be able to communicate with Merlin from the Crystal Cave.” “Really?” Gwaine asked his eyes going wide. “I need to try ,” Arthur said, “I need to see him…talk to him.” “Then I am going with you.” “Gwaine,” he shook his head, “I need to go alone.” “You are the king, Arthur , you cannot venture into the V alley of the Fallen Kings alone. Morgana may be dead, but there are still enemies out there who would love your head on a pike.” Arthur looked at Gwaine then nodded, “All right. But only you and me. No one else.” “When do we leave?” “Gaius said he needed to do some research. He has to find a way that I can communicate without magic of my own. There is a chance it will not work at all.” “You were born of magic, do think there is a chance you have some sort of magic?” Arthur laughed, “No, I don’ t think so.” “What is it you really want, Arthur?” “I need to know the part of Merlin he kept hidden. I need to understand.” “So, you can find a way to for give him?” Gwaine asked. “No, I have already for given him.” “Then what are you after?” “Ideally , I want to bring him home,” Arthur lowered his gaze to the floor for a moment then looked at Gwaine. “But if that is not possible, I at least want my child to grow up knowing him. T o know the man who brought peace to Camelot. Is that so insane?” Gwaine shook his head, “No, Arthur , not at all.” “We should sleep, we are going to feel like death in the morning.” “I will go with you to see Gaius. He will give us his remedy then we can work on a plan.” Arthur laid back down on his side staring into the flames and laughed, “The fire.” “What?” “The fire in Jarl’ s fortress, when we faked that fight…the fire that mysteriously started and covered our escape.” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin…” “Remember what he said, that if it wasn’ t for that fire, we would have all been pushing up daisies.” “Of course. Also explains your recovery from the poisoned arrow in your leg. Y ou were burning up with fever…” “I was dying. And Merlin saved me…again.” Gwaine looked at Arthur intently , “Whatever it takes, we will do right by him. W e will make sure that Merlin is remembered…always. And maybe one day he will return.” “I hope so,” Arthur said then finally drifted of f to sleep. Gwaine passed out soon after . To See Him Again “Gwaine, are you alive?” Arthur asked shaking his knight gently . “What? Oh, yes…alive…still alive,” he jolted awake nearly rolling of f the bed. “That makes one of us,” Arthur winced sitting down on the bed to put on his boots, “My head…” Gwaine stumbled to the hearth stepping into his own boots with surprising agility considering how much he’d had to drink. “Let’ s get to Gaius, he will fix us right up,” he chuckled. “Sounds like you have gone to him many times for the remedy ,” Arthur smirked. “Regular customer .” They blew out the candles and then made their way downstairs where Evoric had breakfast prepared for them. They sat down and ate. Arthur placed a handful of gold coins on the table. “Please, Y our Highness, I cannot accept payment,” Evoric said. “I insist,” Arthur said, “For the mead, the room, and this delicious breakfast.” “Very well, My Lord. Y ou are welcome anytime,” Evoric said then lowered his head, “W e all miss Merlin. He helped me out often with remedies and fixing things. He was a good man.” “Yes, he was,” Arthur nodded. They finished eating and then headed for the palace. After a slight detour to let Gwen know , he was all right and to apologize for abandoning her , they reached the door of the physician’ s chambers. Gwaine knocked and then opened the door . Gaius waved a hand toward the table. “Leon told me to expect you two, remedy is there on the table.” “Thank you, Gaius,” Arthur said drinking his down quickly trying not to smell it first. “Y ep, still as nasty tasting as ever .” “Nectar of the Gods,” Gwaine chuckled, downing his with a flourish. “Gaius, have you found anything?” Arthur asked as he approached the older man. “I was up most of the night and I was able to confirm that the Horn of Cathbhadh will not work for someone who is not a direct blood ancestor .” Arthur said down on the bench, “And the Crystal Cave?” “There is a way to use the crystals to communicate with spirits, but you will need help.” “Magical help?” Arthur asked. “I’m afraid so,” Gaius said, “Y ou will need to retrieve the Crystal of Neahtid from the vaults of Camelot and return it to the Crystal Cave from which it came.” “That doesn’ t sound too dif ficult,” Gwaine said as he sat down on a bench across from Arthur . “Yes, well, that is the easy part, I am afraid. Before you return it, you must enhance its power .” “And just how do I do that?” Arthur asked. “It must be infused with magic from a high priestess.” Arthur ’s face fell, “That is obviously out of the question.” “The only other option is the Great Dragon,” Gaius said. “Good, I need to speak with Kilgharrah anyway . Is there a way that I can call him to me?” “There is a spell, but I am not certain I have enough power . I am willing to try , Arthur .” Arthur knew from the look in Gaius’ eyes that this spell would take a lot out of him to perform. “Gaius, would it harm you? I will not ask you to do it if it will.” “It will not be easy , but I will do it for Merlin…for you.” “Is there another way? I will not do anything that will put you at risk.” Gaius thought for a moment then his eyes widened, “Of course, your sword, Arthur . It was forged by Kilgharrah. It holds his power . You can use it to call him.” “Great, tell me what I need to do.” “Arthur , please don’ t go alone,” Gwen said as Arthur packed his bags. “Guinevere, Gwaine is going with me, I won’ t be alone,” he said stopping what he was doing to embrace her . “There is no need to worry . With Mor gana dead and the Saxons scattered there is little threat right now . I must do this. Please understand. If I have a chance to see Merlin, to speak with him, I need to try . There is so much I need him to know and things that I must know to protect Camelot. T o keep the peace for our child.” Gwen shook her head, “I just do not want to lose you, Arthur . I cannot raise our child alone.” “I love you, Guinevere, I will return. I promise you.” “All right,” she finally relented, “Just promise me that if you speak to Merlin, tell him how much he means to me and how grateful I am for everything he did.” “I will tell him,” Arthur smiled then kissed her before resuming packing. There was a knock on the door . Gwen went to answer it. Gwaine stepped inside the room and she gave him a look... “Y ou will take care of him,” she said. “Upon my life, I will protect Arthur , My Lady ,” Gwaine said then he approached Arthur with an object in a leather pouch. “Is this what we need?” he asked as he opened it and pulled out the Crystal of Neahtid. Arthur had not laid eyes on it since they brought it back to Camelot all those years ago. “That’ s it,” Arthur sheathed his sword, kissed Gwen then nodded, “Let’ s go.” They made their way out of the castle to find Leon and Percival waiting in the courtyard with their horses. “Thank you,” Arthur smiled, climbing onto his horse while Gwaine secured the crystal in his saddlebag then mounted his own horse. “Arthur , are you sure this is wise?” Leon asked. “It is something I have to do, Leon. Please understand.” “I do, just it isn’ t safe out there.” “I will take care of him, I promise,” Gwaine said. “Courage and Strength,” Percival said with a nod then reached up to grasp Arthur ’s forearm, “Godspeed, both of you.” Arthur nodded then turned his horse, heading for the drawbridge with Gwaine close behind. They crossed over it and then headed toward the clearing Gaius told them about. The place where Merlin used to sneak of f to call Kilgharrah for help. It was already mid-morning and they still had far to go to reach the Crystal Cave. As soon as they reached the clearing, Arthur dismounted, drew his sword, and stepped into the clearing. He held the sword out in front of him, resting flat across both hands then closed his eyes focusing all his light and ener gy into the blade then, tilting his head back, he shouted. “Kilgharrah, Great Dragon, I wish to speak with you. In the name of Merlin, The Last Dragonlord, please come to me. Hear your king, Kilgharrah…” “Did it work?” Gwaine asked keeping his voice low . “I don’ t know ,” Arthur shook his head. “Maybe you should say it again.” “What if he is too far away?” Arthur asked. Gwaine held up a hand, “Listen…” They both heard the familiar sound of massive wings and looked up as Kilgharrah came over the hill. He landed in the clearing just a few feet from the king. “King Arthur…Sir Gwaine, you called for me,” the dragon said. “I did,” Arthur said then sheathed his sword, “I have a favor to ask of you.” “A favor?” Kilgharrah asked a curious glint in his golden eyes. “Yes, I must speak with Merlin. Gaius said there is a chance that I can reach him in the Crystal Cave, but I need you to enhance the magic of the Crystal of Neahtid so that I may do so.” “I see,” the dragon said, “Might I ask why you wish to speak with Merlin?” Arthur nodded, “There are things I need answers to, and things I need him to know . Will you help me? Please.” “Very well,” Kilgharrah said, “Bring me the crystal, but you should know , Arthur , Merlin may not want to be summoned.” “Why?” Arthur asked, shaking his head, “Why would he not want to come to me?” “Arthur , Merlin gave his life for you. He would want you to live, to move on.” “I can’ t do that,” Arthur shook his head, his voice breaking, “Not until I say what I need to say to him. I need to see him one last time. He died not knowing how I feel about him.” Kilgharrah raised his head and looked at Gwaine then back to Arthur . He let out a breath, a puff of smoke and flame. “Great King, there are things Merlin did that he may not want you to know .” “If you’re referring to the fact that it was Merlin who set you free? I figured that out for myself. So, you see I am not a complete idiot.” Kilgharrah let out a chuckle, “Y ou definitely are not.” “Will you help me then?” “I will help you, King Arthur ,” Kilgharrah said. He watched as Gwaine stepped forward with the Crystal of Neahtid in his hand. “Place it on the ground then step back.” Gwaine did as he said before moving to stand next to Arthur . The dragon lowered his head and opened his mouth breathing a heatless golden flame over the crystal. It began to glow with a light so bright that Arthur and Gwaine had to look away . “It is done.” “Thank you,” Arthur said. “In the center of the Crystal Cave, you will find a pool of water . Place the crystal in the water and focus on Merlin. I trust Gaius told you what to say .” “He did,” Gwaine nodded. “If Merlin chooses not to appear to you, Arthur , you will not try again. Promise me.” Arthur lowered his gaze to the crystal for a moment then looked up at Kilgharrah again. “If Merlin chooses not to come to me, I will let him be. I promise.” “The magic I have infused into the crystal will destroy it if you attempt the summoning a second time. It will shatter , obliterating everything within its reach. It will sever any connection between the Crystal Cave and A valon, the repercussions of which would be far worse than the tear in the veil that released the Doracha.” Arthur and Gwaine looked at each other as that memory took hold. Neither of them wanted to relive that nightmare. They had nearly lost Merlin, then they did lose Lancelot. “I swear to you, I will perform the summoning only once,” Arthur said. “Good, then I bid you farewell, King Arthur…Sir Gwaine,” Kilgharrah said then moved away preparing to fly . “Wait, please, Kilgharrah,” Arthur said. The dragon turned back to look at him. “Please, tell me, do you know what happens now that Merlin changed our destiny by dying in my place? I was meant to return one day . Does that mean Merlin will too?” Kilgharrah shook his head, “I do not know , Arthur . The prophecies were written centuries before you and Merlin were even born. They all ended with your death and Merlin being immortal. What he did forever altered not only your fate but the fates of all those around you. What will happen remains to be seen. No one can say if he will return.” “Perhaps I can call on you again,” Arthur said, “I am certain you miss him too.” “I would like that, Arthur ,” the dragon said then launched into the air and flew away , vanishing over the hills. Gwaine picked up the crystal placing it back inside the leather pouch. They made their way back to the horses in silence until they were in the saddle, heading toward the V alley of the Fallen Kings. “Arthur , did Merlin ever tell you what happened to him after the two of you were separated by the rock fall that day? When the bandits took him. When we found him, he was not himself.” “He never spoke of it again.” “I could not help but wonder if Mor gana had him and he escaped. Especially knowing now that he had magic.” “He would not have risked using magic to escape from her . She would have realized he was Emrys. I am certain she did not know who he was until Mordred told her after he left Camelot. That is why she sent that creature to steal his magic.” “Makes sense,” Gwaine nodded, “I cannot begin to imagine how terrified he must have been to lose something that was such a part of him…something he had always been able to rely on from the day he was born. It is no wonder he panicked when those bandits attacked us in the Valley of the Fallen Kings when I was taking him to the Crystal Cave.” “I always wondered why , even when he was so clearly scared, he never lost faith that we would prevail no matter what we faced. I guess now I know why…he had his magic.” “No, Arthur ,” Gwaine smiled, “He had faith in you. Magic needed you as much as you needed Magic. Merlin’ s mother said it best…you were two sides of the same coin.” Arthur glanced over at Gwaine and nodded, “Thank you for coming on this journey with me.” “Nowhere else I would rather be.” “Do you think the dragon is right? That Merlin may not want to come to me?” Gwaine thought for a moment then shook his head, “All I know is Merlin loved you. I think he will want to see you again as much as you want to see him.” “There is so much I need to say , and I have no idea how long I will have to say it. When I summoned my father , I had little time before he told me I must go or risk being trapped in the world of the dead. Then I made the mistake of looking back as the veil closed releasing his spirit into this world. It was his ghost that hurt Percival and Guinevere, damaged the Round Table. Merlin and I had to hunt him down to send him back. He nearly killed Merlin, pinned him to a door in the armory with two spears. I blew the horn and right before he vanished, he tried to say something about Merlin. I think he was going to tell me about his magic. He must have used magic to fight my father after he knocked me out.” “Ah yes, poetry ,” Gwaine chuckled. “What?” “Oh, Leon told us how he found you and Merlin alone, sneaking around the castle in the dark. Arthur scof fed, “What did you all think we were doing?” “Poetry of course,” Gwaine grinned, wagging his eyebrows. “I never…could never let myself have…” Arthur said his voice trailing of f. “You are an honorable man, Arthur . You would never betray Gwen or hurt Merlin.” “Yes, but it did not stop me from wondering what it would be like,” Arthur blushed. He fell silent as they rode through a narrow ravine following the brook. Gwaine knew he needed to keep him talking. “Tell me more about when you and Merlin first met.” “You’re just trying to keep me talking,” Arthur said narrowing his eyes. “Well, either you talk, or I will, and we both know how much you enjoy my mindless chatter ,” Gwaine laughed. “Come on, tell me. I really want to know .” “Fine,” the king smirked. “I was not of ficially the Crown Prince yet, and needless to say I was a bit of a bully…an ass, as Merlin called me that day .” “Sounds about right,” Gwaine chuckled. “You want to hear this or not?” “Sorry , Sire, do go on.” “My servant prior to Merlin, his name was Morris…dull, spineless, and what Merlin would call a bootlicker . I was on the training grounds with my equally bootlicking friends at the time. I was showing of f and I may have been throwing knives at the tar get my servant was carrying as he tried to place it for me. He lost his hold on it and the tar get rolled across the ground and fell at Merlin’ s feet, he placed his boot on it and says to me that’ s enough that I’d had my fun.” You’ve had your fun, my friend… Those words brought both a smile and tears. Arthur swiped them away and told Gwaine the rest of their first interactions leaving his knight laughing so hard that he could barely breathe. “You asked him if he knew how to walk on his knees?” Gwaine asked, fighting of f another wave of laughter . “I did,” Arthur said unable to hold back a smirk. “You really were an ass,” Gwaine chuckled. “Yes, and Merlin was quite adept at pointing out my flaws and telling me when I was being an idiot. He was the only person to ever do so and get away with it. T ruthfully , it is the reason I kept him around. He never failed to challenge me when I was doing the wrong thing or encouraged me when I was doubting myself. He created a damn sword for me of all things. Gods, Gwaine I did not deserve him.” “The way I see it, you needed him in your life. Y ou were surrounded by people who only told you what you wanted to hear and would never stand up to you when you were being a prat.” “Yes, and then you came along,” Arthur laughed, “Y ou and your hatred of nobles. Why is that anyway? Y ou never told me.” “No one knows, save for Merlin.” “You may as well tell me now .” “If I tell you I will have to kill you,” Gwaine said, and Arthur laughed. “My father was a knight in Caerleon’ s army . A noble. Fought and died for the king and yet when my mother went to him for help, he turned her away . As soon as I was old enough, I left home and made a living doing whatever I could. I would go back home and leave money with her every chance I got. Until the day I went back to find that she had died, and my heartless sister was gone…married some noble in another kingdom.” “I am so sorry , Gwaine.” Gwaine shook his head and smiled sadly , “That day I met you and Merlin in the tavern…I had just come from there. I had planned to drink myself into a stupor . Instead, I met this courageous and stupid man who started a fight he could not win and his best friend who dragged my wounded arse back to Camelot and gave me a reason to keep fighting.” Arthur nodded, “And ended up saving my life again. I could have made you a knight if you had told me the truth. My father would have overturned his decision easily if he had known.” “I could not have served under a king like Uther ,” Gwaine said, “I am proud to serve you, Arthur . You stood up for me against your father and I have never for gotten that.” “When Merlin went to you for help after I left for the Perilous Lands, you agreed to help because of him, not me. I knew that. Y ou were a good friend to him. I think you serve me because of him more than out of duty to me.” “Merlin was the first and only true friend I’d ever had,” Gwaine said, “I think we bonded over the fact that neither of us really knew our fathers and grew up without them in our lives. What was Merlin’ s father like?” Arthur let out a breath, “I didn’ t get a chance to really know him before he was killed by one of Cenred’ s men. But what I saw was a man who had survived against all odds and was strong, brave, and far more powerful than I ever could have imagined…like father like son…” “Yes,” Gwaine nodded, “What would you have done…if Merlin had told you about his magic sooner?” “I have asked myself that question a hundred times, Gwaine, and I am ashamed to say I still do not know the answer . All I know for certain is that I could never have let him die. Even in the beginning, I would have protected him, or at least I would like to believe I would have. Gods, my father has been so wrong about so much. I wish I could repair all the damage his hatred has done.” “The Great Pur ge began when you were born and your mother died,” Gwaine said. “Yes,” Arthur said. “And Merlin…he was born of magic…was magic…and he was a few years younger than you.” “What are you getting at?” “When Merlin destroyed Mor gana, what his magic did, healing us and Kilgharrah. God knows what else it touched…all that power , it had to come from somewhere. The magic released in the Great Pur ge, from the slaughtering of sorcerers…what if Merlin was born of that magic?” “If that is true,” Arthur ’s eyes widened, “Then why would he be destined to protect me, the son of the king who was responsible for the Great Pur ge…essentially the reason for it?” “You were born of magic, Merlin was born with magic,” Gwaine said, “T wo sides of the same coin…together you would bring balance. Build a world of peace and end the war on magic.” Arthur stared at his knight for a moment. “When did you become such a deep thinker ,” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow . Gwaine chuckled and shook his head, “I’m just putting the pieces together .” Arthur frowned, “I did not deserve him. I was blind to his deeds and his suf fering…just as I was to Mor gana’ s. I could have saved her…I should have saved him.” “Mor gana was beyond saving, Arthur . Her hatred was born of fear . That changes a person to their very core. She held me captive enough, I got to know her quite well. Behind those beautiful, haunted eyes was a soul filled with pain, bitterness, and rage that no one could have overcome. I would bet my life that Merlin tried, and if he could not save her , what chance did you have?” “You’re probably right,” Arthur said, “They were once friends, you know . Merlin and Morgana…there was a time when I thought, they were more. But then something happened that caused a rift between them. Something changed after Mor gause and the Knights of Medhir attacked Camelot. She put all the people to sleep, only Mor gana was still awake… now I know why . Then something happened, the knights stopped and Mor gause took her away . We searched for more than a year . When we finally found her and brought her home, Merlin was visibly shaken. It was as if he did not want her back in Camelot.” “I’m sure he had good reason.” “Yes, I am certain he did. I just wish I knew the truth. I will probably never know everything.” “Probably not, and the dragon did say there were things Merlin did...that could be one of them.” “I didn’ t know at the time that Mor gana was my half-sister ,” Arthur shook his head, “I am not certain when she learned the truth, but I believe it was that knowledge that made her turn against our father . She became so twisted, a dark vengeful witch, determined to take back her birthright.” “Uther was at fault, not you, Arthur . And definitely not Merlin. Whatever he did, he did out of love for you and Camelot. The choice he made that day to stop her , it was made for the very same reason. He saw no other way out.” Arthur swiped at his eyes again and nodded, “I know .” “We will reach the Crystal Cave soon. It is not much farther . We should set up camp for the night and wait until morning to use the crystal?” “That’ s probably wise,” Arthur said, “I want to be rested and thinking clearly when I do this. We only have one shot at it.” “I know a good spot, not far from the cave. W e can set up camp there and take a look inside before we do anything.” They rode down into a ravine that looked vaguely familiar to Arthur . As they got of f the horses, he remembered. It was the day bandits had chased him and Merlin. He’d been shot in the back with an arrow , the bandits were on top of them. Y et Merlin had not only fended them of f somehow but healed him from what easily could have been a fatal wound. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked as he got the fire going, “Are you all right?” “Yes, it’ s just I have been here before…with Merlin. W e were running from bandits, and I was shot in the back with an arrow . Merlin told me it did not pierce my armor , but I remember now .” “What else can you remember?” “I could hear Merlin talking to me. Just flashes of memory , I remember hearing him crying. At one point I heard him talking to someone, but there was no one else there. It makes no sense,” Arthur said shaking his head. “When I woke up the next morning, I was healed, and Merlin was behaving oddly . He seemed traumatized by something.” “Something he saw in the Crystal Cave,” Gwaine said knowingly . “It is said that the Crystal of Neahtid had the power to show the future. If it came from the cave…” “Merlin’ s magic allowed him to see the future through the crystals in the cave. It would explain why he was so upset.” “Merlin must have seen something about Mor gana. It was shortly after we returned to Camelot, she left her chambers late one night and somehow ended up falling down the stairs fracturing her skull. She was dying then inexplicably healed…Merlin must have healed her . He healed her despite knowing what she would become. He could have just let her die.” Gwaine looked down at the fire, “Merlin still had hope that he would be able to help her . He must have known that she was your sister .” “I remember telling him that I would give up my place on the throne for her to see another sunrise,” Arthur said, “He saved her life because I wanted her to live. W e grew up together and I loved her as a sister . I could not bear the thought of losing her . Everything Merlin did was for me. He tried to save my father too. But Mor gana interfered in the spell, he died and Merlin…the guilt he must have felt. He risked so much.” “I still can’ t believe that old sorcerer was Merlin all along,” Gwaine huf fed a laugh. “It is no wonder he kept his secret from me, even after my father was gone. I lashed out and tried to kill him. Then later , when he came to me as himself, I told him I had lost both my parents to magic…that it was pure evil, and I would never lose sight of that again. I was essentially telling Merlin that he was pure evil.” “And if your father had lived…do you really believe things would have changed for Merlin?” “No, I would not have been able to free magic until I became king. He would have still had to hide who he was.” “And yet Merlin still tried to save Uther knowing full well that either way he would have to continue to live in the shadows,” Gwaine said shaking his head. “He could have done nothing and just let my father die…it would have been easier and safer for him to do so. Merlin risked everything to help me because I asked him to. Just as he did with Mor gana. I was angry at him for keeping his magic a secret and yet I never gave him a reason to trust me with that secret.” “All that matters is that you accepted him in the end. Now , sit down here and eat something, then get some rest,” Gwaine said. “No, not yet. I need to see the cave. Where is the entrance?” Gwaine got up, grabbed his sword then headed down a path. “This way ,” he said, and Arthur followed him. They walked into the mouth of the cave. Gwaine found a discarded torch and lit it. They climbed up over the rocks, moving deeper into the cavern until they emer ged into a wide-open area filled with glowing crystals. “Gwaine, return to camp, keep watch I need to be alone,” Arthur said. Gwaine nodded and went to pass him the torch, but he refused it. “You won’ t be able to see your way out of here.” “And neither will you if I take the torch.” “Fine, I will come back for you in a little while,” Gwaine said. “Thank you again, Gwaine…for being here with me. I am not sure I could have faced this on my own.” “You’re welcome,” he said then made his way back out of the cave leaving Arthur alone. Arthur sat down on the ground in the center of the crystals and closed his eyes. Even without magic, he could feel the power emanating from them. Merlin had come here to regain his magic after Mor gana’ s creature stole it from him. Arthur could imagine him there, injured, and scared…trapped because of the cave-in caused by Mor gana. “Merlin, can you hear me,” Arthur asked, tears pooling in his eyes, “I miss you. I need to see you again, to talk to you. There is so much I need to say . So much I have to make up for . Merlin, please…” Arthur sat in silence listening. He heard the trickle of water as it ran down the wall of the cave into the crystal-clear pool where they would place the Crystal of Neahtid for the summoning. He was tempted to go back to camp, get the crystal and perform it now , but his mind was foggy . He wanted to be rested and focused. “Is anyone there,” he asked receiving no response. “I will return tomorrow ,” Arthur got to his feet and headed toward the mouth of the cave. He was able to see well enough without the torch and reached the entrance just as Gwaine came through. “Are you all right?” he asked. “I will be tomorrow , if this works,” Arthur said stepping out into the night. Gwaine hesitated a moment glancing back up toward the crystals. He feared what would happen if Merlin refused to appear . Arthur would be devastated. “Merlin, Arthur needs you, my friend. Please, do not refuse him when he summons you,” Gwaine said then followed his king. Arthur woke at dawn, but he let Gwaine sleep a little longer while he went over the words Gaius had written down. At least it was not the language of the Old Religion. He wondered if it would even work. What if nothing happened? W ould that mean it failed or that Merlin refused to come through? “Did you get any sleep at all?” Gwaine asked as he sat up rubbing his eyes. “I did…a few hours here and there.” “You are exhausted.” “I’ll sleep for a week after I see Merlin and talk to him.” Gwaine studied him closely . “Are you sure you will be able to move on if Merlin refuses to show?” “I cannot think about that possibility right now ,” Arthur said then got up, retrieving the Crystal of Neahtid from Gwaine’ s saddlebag. “I’m going to do this now .” “I’m coming with you,” Gwaine said then pulled on his boots, grabbed the torch, lit it in the fire, and followed his king. The sun was just coming over the crest of the hill, its golden rays filtering through the trees, illuminating the mouth of the cave. They stepped inside and then climbed up to the crystals. Looking around, Gwaine nodded toward the pool. “That must be it,” he said. Arthur nodded approaching it as he slipped the crystal from the leather pouch and dropped to his knees in front of the pool. He placed it in the water and then looked at Gwaine. He took a breath before reading the words on the parchment. When he finished, he stood up and stepped back. At first, nothing happened, but a moment later a low hum began. It grew louder , the crystal began to vibrate in the water causing ripples on the surface. “Merlin,” Arthur said his voice pleading. He did not care if he had to beg, he would do it. “Merlin, I need you…please,” he said. He saw Gwaine step back a bit. “Scared?” he asked him with a slight smile. “No, not at all,” Gwaine smirked, though his eyes were wide. “Arthur ,” a deep voice reverberated of f the walls that was definitely not Merlin. Arthur turned around to see a familiar bearded figure standing a few feet away . “Balinor…” he said. The man was solid but had a bluish light around him. “King Arthur ,” Balinor smiled fondly , “He said you would come.” “Merlin? Where is he? Please, I need to see him…speak with him.” “In due time,” Balinor said, “There is something you need to see first.” “If Merlin is afraid, he does not have to be.” Balinor nodded, stepping closer , “Great King, there are many things my son was forced to do of which he is not proud. After you see what I am about to show you, if you still want to speak to him, he will come through the veil.” Arthur nodded, “So, be it, but there is nothing you can show me that will change my mind.” “Very well,” Balinor said then stepped back waving a hand toward the lar gest of the crystals and suddenly there were images. Gwaine put out the torch and then moved to stand with Arthur . “W atch, Arthur…” the older man nodded, and the images moved through the crystals. Arthur inhaled sharply as he saw moments from Merlin’ s life flashing before his eyes. From before he came to Camelot, his mother ’s letter to Gaius. He smiled as he saw a happy , carefree Merlin walking along the road, arriving in Camelot only to witness a beheading of a sorcerer first thing. “I would have turned tail and run if that were my first experience in Camelot, and I don’ t even have magic,” Gwaine said. Arthur shook his head, “But he stayed.” He kept his eyes on the crystals taking it all in. Their first meeting…their fight, then the banquet hall, the falling chandelier , and time visibly slowing while Merlin pulled Arthur out of the path of the witch’ s dagger . Valiant and the snakes, Nimueh and the poison that Merlin drank to save him, the light orb in the cave, Lancelot and the Grif fin, Edwin trying to kill his father , and Merlin saving him. Sophia, Aulfric, Kanen, and the bandits in Ealdor…the wind that turned the battle. Arthur saw the unicorn and Anhora, The Questing Beast, and the battle with Nimueh, Merlin was hit by a ball of fire, lying on the ground only to get to his feet and draw lightning from the sky , killing Nimueh. He was shocked to see the beast he had wounded, had actually been Freya…Freya from the Lake of A valon. Merlin had loved her . She died in Merlin’ s arms on the shore of the lake. Arthur had taken away the one person Merlin found who could understand him…accept him for who he truly was…love him the way he deserved to be loved. Even that did not compare to the shock of seeing the image of Merlin poisoning Mor gana and his releasing of the Great Dragon and the moment he learned who his father was before they set out on their quest to find Balinor . The moment Balinor learned who Merlin was and seeing them together by the fire while Arthur slept. The depth of emotion in Merlin’ s face when his father said good night to him for the first…and last…time in his life. Balinor ’s death and the overwhelming grief in Merlin’ s eyes…how he had struggled to hide it from Arthur who’d told him no man was worth his tears. Then the confrontation with the dragon and Merlin realizing his powers as a Dragonlord, speaking to Kilgharrah in a voice that sent shivers all through Arthur ’s body . The images continued and Arthur had no idea how he managed to absorb all of it, it had to be the magic enabling him to grasp and understand each and every moment as they flashed quickly . He laughed aloud when he saw Merlin release the Goblin. Then remembered his donkey ears and braying and his father ’s bald head the flatulence… “Should have known he was responsible for that,” he smirked. “Sorry I missed that one,” Gwaine chuckled. The images continued through the years everything from Elena being a changeling, to yet more of Mor gana’ s deception and the bizarre and quite frightening Manticore which Merlin fought. It was the stuf f of nightmares. Then the discovery of Arthur and Guinevere’ s relationship and Merlin changing into the old sorcerer to clear her name only to nearly end up burned on the pyre himself. The young sorcerer who fought Uther in the tournament. Merlin befriending the boy and trying to teach him the right way to use magic. It's...lonely . To...be mor e powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow . To...be special and…and have to pr etend you'r e a fool. I know how it feels, I understand. “Merlin,” Arthur shook his head watching the scene. Merlin with a flame burning in the palm of his hand, revealing his true self to this boy in an attempt to convince him not to fight. “Gods, you should never have been made to feel that way .” The next scenes were of their quest to find the Cup of Life. Then the loss of Camelot and Morgana crowned queen, slaughtering its citizens in her lust for power . Her telling their father that she hated him. Merlin retrieving the sword from the Lake of A valon to save Camelot from the immortal Army by spilling the blood from the Cup of Life, the Doracha, the death of Uther , and Merlin saving the dragon’ s egg from the tomb of Ashkanar and hatching the white dragon into the world…her name was Aithusa. The battle with Queen Annis and her giant and watching Merlin’ s eyes flash gold as he helped Arthur in the fight when Mor gana’ s spell made his sword impossible to wield. Then came the moment both he and Gwaine had wondered about. Merlin restrained, hanging by his arms in Mor gana’ s hovel in pain and soaking wet. Mor gana putting the head of a damn snake in the back of his neck commanding him to kill Arthur . Followed by Merlin’ s many failed attempts to obey her . It was then that something occurred to Gwaine. “Arthur , when we found him, he was covered in mud from head to toe and you hugged him anyway . Was that the only time you ever showed him af fection? Every time prior , at the Fisher King’ s castle, after he survived the Doracha, you never embraced him like that.” “No,” Arthur shook his head, “He tried to hug me once and I refused.” “You do realize that the one and only time you ever hugged him he was under Mor gana’ s control. It is likely that he never even remembered it.” Arthur lowered his gaze and let out a breath, “Y ou are right, Gwaine. I kept him at arms- length, but not for the reason you think.” “Oh, I know why ,” Gwaine smirked. “Enlighten me then,” Arthur said. “Because you knew , if you gave into those feelings, that there would be no turning back.” “I loved him…” “And he loved you. He was Mor gana’ s prisoner ,” Gwaine said, “She was controlling Merlin, and yet every assassination attempt failed almost comically . That tells me Merlin’ s magic was protecting you even though he was not in control.” Arthur nodded, “I have no doubt. He was incapacitated and dying when he sent that light to me in the cave when I went in search of the Mortaeus flower .” The battle between Mor gana and Old Merlin was brutal. Arthur was stunned to see the raw power of his sister and his best friend and knew full well that Merlin could have killed her at any time. He had been holding back. Gwaine was surprised too, letting out a gasp when Merlin swept her up in a mighty whirlwind tossing her like a ragdoll. Then destroying the Fomorrah freeing himself from her control only to return to Camelot and find himself forced into a training session with Geor ge. “Oh, now that was just plain cruel, Arthur ,” Gwaine laughed, “Poor Merlin.” “I thought it was funny at the time,” Arthur said, “But not so much now that I know what he went through. I feel like such a fool…a selfish idiot.” The images flashed faster , the Lamia then the return of Lancelot who had not actually been Lancelot, but a shade sent by Mor gana to interfere in his and Guinevere’ s wedding. Arthur was relieved to know the truth…to know his friend Lancelot had not actually betrayed him. He chuckled as he saw Merlin’ s little pranks on him while Mithian was in Camelot. The spilling of the soup, the uncontrollable burping. “Jealous, Merlin,” Gwaine laughed heartily . “Jealous, no, he was just upset that I was moving on from Guinevere.” “No, my friend, that was pure jealousy because he was watching the man he loved with yet another beautiful woman,” Gwaine smirked. “Don’ t be ridiculous, Gwaine,” Arthur shook his head then watched the images from the hunt and the deer which had been an enchanted Guinevere. He saw Merlin’ s eyes flash gold and the arrow he had shot went wide only for Mithian to fire and hit her . He felt sick to his stomach. Merlin had ridden out in the night alone to find her…healed her with his magic. “Merlin…” Arthur choked. Then came the deception of Agravaine, Arthur wanted to punch something as he saw all that his uncle had done. He had been working with Mor gana from the start. Undermining his authority at every turn. The kidnapping of Gaius, yet another time when Arthur should have listened to Merlin and did not. Merlin using magic to turn him into a simpleton and putting him in those ridiculous clothes. Then an image of Merlin calling Kilgharrah and the dragon wiping out the majority of Agravaine’ s army . Gwaine let out an impressed whistle and Arthur wanted to see it again… there was just something about Merlin’ s dragon powers…the deep, resonating, almost animalistic tone to his voice. Next came the image that confirmed Arthur ’s fears. Merlin in the tunnels, facing Agravaine and what was left of his army and being forced to use his magic to kill them all. “Merlin did kill Agravaine,” Arthur said. “I should have listened to him when he tried to tell me that my uncle was working against me. Merlin should not have been put in that position…I let him go back there alone. It should have been me to face him. I should never have trusted my uncle.” “Agravaine was your family , it is understandable that you would trust him.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “I should have learned from Mor gana’ s betrayal that family means nothing. Even my father betrayed me in so many ways. It was Merlin, all these years… Merlin who I should have trusted fully , he was my other half…my friend, my family , and more.” “More?” Gwaine grinned. “Shut up,” Arthur rolled his eyes. The next image was Arthur pulling the sword from the stone, the golden light, and the pride in Merlin’ s eyes as he’d helped Arthur to believe in himself again. Merlin sneaking back into the citadel planting some magical object under Mor gana’ s bed that had rendered her temporarily powerless. Now , he knew the meaning behind her comment about Emrys. How wrong she had been, because Emrys was right there in front of her all along, protecting Arthur . Merlin had saved them yet again and they had retaken Camelot and Mor gana disappeared. As the images moved on into the last year , before the battle at Camlann, Arthur saw for the first time just how hard it had been for Merlin. How weighed down and unhappy he had become, rarely smiling. T ears filled his eyes as he saw Merlin fighting every single damn day to keep him alive. The worst was seeing him dying alone on the forest floor after being poisoned by Mor gana and thrown over a clif f only to recover with the help of that boy and then they returned to Camelot in time to save Arthur from the Sarrum’ s assassin. An assassin Guinevere ordered. Seeing her now , knowing it was her all along trying to kill him because of Mor gana’ s ritual. He could barely breathe as he saw Merlin’ s tears after he had uttered the deep guttural words to heal Arthur from the poison, once again saving his king. Then saving Guinevere from Mor gana’ s curse, becoming The Dolma to do so, because he could not use magic in front of Arthur . “Oh, Merlin,” Arthur gasped. The rest was a blur , the betrayal of Mordred, the creature that stole Merlin’ s magic, his goodbye to Gwaine, the confrontation between him and Mor gana in the cave, and Merlin healing. Regaining his magic in time to warn Arthur using the crystals. When it was all over, Arthur and Gwaine stood frozen in place struggling to grasp it all. “Gwaine, I saw the look in your eyes when you and Merlin parted. Y ou knew…” Arthur turned to him and shook his head. “Not exactly , I wondered if he had magic, but I never knew for certain. Just something inside me knew that would be the last time I would see Merlin. I felt it, deep in my soul, that one or both of us would not survive.” Arthur watched the last of the images. The moment Merlin told him he had magic…that he was a sorcerer . He was ashamed as Gwaine watched his reaction expecting to feel his knight’ s judgment. “You took it better than I thought you would,” Gwaine said with a huf f. “Yes, well, I am not proud of that. I should have been more understanding…what it took for him to finally tell me his deepest secret.” The last scene was the moment Merlin sacrificed himself and as it faded away they both stood there silent and stunned. “Do you understand,” Balinor asked as he stepped forward, “Why Merlin is afraid?” Arthur shook his head, “It does not matter…none of it matters, Balinor . I want…I need to see Merlin…to talk to him.” “Then you can for give my son?” Balinor asked. “No,” Arthur said, “There is nothing to for give. It is I who needs to make amends for what I did, for how I treated him. I need to ask him to for give me.” “Arthur…” Merlin’ s voice came from all around them, and Arthur smiled. “Merlin, thank God,” he let out a breathy laugh, “Merlin, please, I need you to show yourself to me…you have nothing to fear .” Balinor stepped back revealing Merlin standing just behind him, an uneasy smile on his face. Arthur stared at him unable to believe he was really there. Merlin came closer , like his father , there was a bluish glow around him, but he was solid…he was there. He reached out a hand to touch the face of his king, but all Arthur could feel was a warm tingling sensation. His heart sank as he had hoped to be able to touch Merlin. “I am so glad to see you,” Arthur breathed out. “You really came,” Merlin said, “I mean, I hoped, but I wasn’ t sure how you felt about magic after everything.” “I need to feel you,” Arthur choked. It was a struggle to find the words, to get out what he needed to say before Merlin went away again. “I’m afraid that’ s not possible, but I am here, Arthur .” “Merlin, for give me…there is so much I did not know . Things you went through. The loss of your father , Freya, W ill…I am so sorry I was not there for you all those times you needed me. I am sorry I let you be captured and tortured by Mor gana. I am sorry for the hurtful thing I said to you before Camlann, you are not a coward, and you were always the bravest man I ever met. I was stupid and selfish; I should have seen that you were in trouble.” “You had a war looming, I never blamed you for that. If it makes you feel any better , I cheated at dice in the tavern that night when I took all your money ,” Merlin gave him a cheeky grin. “Not the first time is it,” Arthur chuckled. “Gaius told you what happened? Why I had to leave?” “We pieced it together ,” Arthur glanced at Gwaine, “Gaius just confirmed it.” Merlin then looked at Gwaine, “Hello, Gwaine!” “Merlin,” Gwaine smiled through his own tears, “I miss you, my friend. Thank you for bringing me back from the dead.” “Anytime,” Merlin smiled then turned back to Arthur . “I tried so hard to get to you before Mordred could…” Merlin said lowering his gaze, “Kilgharrah warned me long ago when Mordred first came to Camelot…he said I should let him die or kill him myself and I just could not do it. Mor gana…what she became was all my fault.” “None of it was your fault and I am proud of you for not acting on the dragon’ s warnings. Mordred deserved to live…he deserved a chance to choose his own path and he did so. If anything, I pushed him right into Mor gana’ s waiting arms.” Merlin nodded, “Y ou…me…Mor gana…Mordred…our destinies were entwined. Everything happened because I lost sight of my humanity and made choices that I should not have made. If I had reached out to Mor gana and Mordred…if I had told you about my magic sooner… Arthur shook his head, “W e haven’ t much time, Merlin, I do not want to dwell on the past. The magic in the crystal will not last much longer . Gods, I want so badly to hold you in my arms right now , to tell you…” “I know , Arthur ,” Merlin smiled fondly . “No, I need to tell you,” Arthur said with tears sliding down his face, “I love you, Merlin. I love you more than I can ever say . I am sorry I buried my feelings for you. I was scared…” “Arthur ,” Merlin grinned, “I love you too. From the moment we met, I think.” “You called me an ass,” Arthur chuckled through his tears. “And a prat,” Merlin smiled, “But there is no one I would have rather served. I told you, I was born to serve you, Arthur , and I am so damn proud of that. I would not change a single thing.” “Oh, Guinevere is with child,” Arthur said, “I’m going to be a father . She wanted me to thank you for all you did for her as well.” Merlin beamed, “That makes me very happy . Knowing your child will grow up with both parents in a kingdom of peace. Just promise you won’ t name him after me…or her .” “There will always only be one Merlin in my life,” Arthur smiled, tears pooling in his eyes. “You are the other half of my soul and I feel so lost without you by my side. I should have told you long ago what you mean to me, Merlin.” “I think I knew . Sometimes the way you looked at me…I felt it. Even when you were throwing things and calling me names. Arthur chuckled, “Horseplay…” “I didn’ t mind really .” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, what you did…what you lost…your magic and your life. I was meant to die, not you. Do you even know what your sacrifice did to the prophecies? What will happen now? W ill you return one day , as I was meant to?” “Arthur , I did what I had to do to make sure you lived. Y ou are the king; I was but a servant. I would make the same decision all over again. My magic will never be completely gone as it is a part of my soul. As far as the prophecies…I do not know any more now than I did in life, except that you will live on to be the king I always dreamed you would be. And you have Gwen and soon a child. Remember me, live for me, be happy and tell everyone back in Camelot that I am all right. I am at peace.” Arthur brought his hands up trying to feel Merlin there, but he was just ener gy…magic. “I want you back,” he said softly . Merlin’ s eyes glistened as he appeared to be crying, “Arthur , please do not feel sadness or grief any longer . I am and always will be a part of you. Look after Gaius for me, tell him I’m sorry for leaving him. T ell my mother that I love her and that I am with my father . Tell Kilgharrah that I expect him to do all he can to protect you and Camelot in my absence. Merlin stepped closer pressing his forehead to Arthur ’s even though they couldn’ t actually feel each other . “I will make sure that you are remembered by everyone in the kingdom and beyond. I want to honor you the way you should have been in life.” “That is not why I did it, Arthur . I do not need honor or recognition. I just need to know that you are alive and well and happy ,” Merlin said then drew back slightly , “Arthur , Mor gana is with me. All this time she was under a curse placed on her by Mor gause during the year she was missing. It twisted her anger and fear turning her into a monster . She wanted me to tell you she is sorry for everything, though she knows that means little after all she did.” “Mor gana was cursed?” Arthur asked and Merlin nodded. “She is free of it, it released her when she died. She is at peace now , Arthur . Remember Morgana as she was before, kind, beautiful, and full of life. I am going to look after her as I should have done in life.” “Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her that I understand, that I for give her . That I still love her , I always did.” Merlin smiled, “I will tell her .” Then he looked at Gwaine and smiled, “Y ou will look after this dollop head for me?” “Always, Merlin,” Gwaine nodded, “It was good to see you again.” “You too, old friend,” Merlin said then turned back to Arthur , “I must go now . The magic of the crystal is fading.” “No, not yet,” Arthur said his voice catching in his throat, “Please…” “I have to go, but before I do…I need you to promise me that you will not use the Crystal of Neahtid to try to summon me again.” “No, Kilgharrah made that quite clear ,” Arthur shook his head. “Good,” Merlin smiled, “T ell me you haven’ t replaced me with a bootlicker .” “I can never replace you, Merlin…with a bootlicker or otherwise.” “Time to go, Arthur ,” Merlin said taking a step back, “Goodbye…be well and be happy .” “Merlin…” “Always…” Merlin said as he and his father stepped back vanishing in a bright bluish-white light. Arthur stood where he was for several minutes then collapsed to his knees, bowing his head. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, “Are you all right?” “No,” he huf fed a laugh, “But I suppose I will have to be.” “Come on, let’ s get you out of here,” Gwaine retrieved the crystal slipping it back into the leather pouch that Arthur had dropped on the ground. He relit the torch and nodded. “W e will get some food and rest then we can head back. W e should be able to reach Camelot before nightfall if we hurry .” Arthur got to his feet and with one last glance at the place where Merlin had stood, he turned and followed his knight out of the cave. He paused for a moment at the entrance when he heard Merlin’ s distant voice. Goodbye, Clotpole. He laughed aloud and Gwaine turned to look at him. “What?” “Nothing…let’ s go home,” Arthur smiled then putting his arm around the other man’ s shoulder , they walked back to their camp. The Circle of Life Six months later… Arthur paced the floor just outside of Gaius’ chambers his hands clasped behind his head, worry etched on his face, and tears pooling in his eyes. He was terrified. He kept seeing over and over in his head, his Guinevere collapsing to the floor in the middle of the feast, clutching her swollen belly , crying out in pain. She had looked up at him as he tried to comfort her after sending for Gaius. Arthur…our baby…something is wr ong… The sheer terror he felt at that moment. His mother had died giving birth to him. W as fate so cruel that it would cause history to repeat itself? W ould he lose his beautiful Guinevere and their baby? No, this cannot happen…not again. He glanced at the closed door again hearing whimpers and cries from his wife. Gaius had forced him to leave, he needed room to work, and Arthur was in the way , but he wanted to be with her . Needed to be with her . He turned and stopped short of punching the stone wall, instead pressing his palms flat against it then bowed his head. “Please…please, do not take them,” his voice came out in a stuttered cry of sheer pain. “Y ou took my mother…you took my father…” He let out a ragged breath then looked up, “Y ou took Merlin from me. Please, I beg of you,” Arthur choked, “Do not take my Guinevere… our child. I will do anything…anything…” “Arthur ,” Hunith said from the doorway , “You should come in now .” “Hunith I can’ t…I can’ t lose them,” he closed his eyes to hold back the tears as she caressed his cheek. “Arthur , come inside,” she nodded the grief in her eyes and her reassuring touch forced him to pull himself together he stepped into the room where Guinevere lay on the bed next to the fire. She reached her hand out for him and he dropped to his knees kissing it and then her forehead. Her hair was wet, and her face twisted in pain. “Arthur…” she gasped. She was so weak that she could barely lift her head. “Guinevere, please don’ t leave me,” he whispered, “I love you…” he looked up at Gaius meeting the old physician’ s gaze. His eyes held the same grief as Hunith’ s. “Gaius, save them, please…you have to save them!” “I’ve done all I can, Arthur ,” Gaius said, “The baby is coming, but I am afraid there is much bleeding inside. The baby is turned the wrong way…a breech. I cannot risk trying to turn the baby with Gwen already bleeding so heavily . To do so would risk both their lives.” Arthur nodded in understanding then looked into Gwen’ s eyes, “I am so sorry .” “Arthur , I don’ t want to leave you,” she cried. “There has to be something…magic…” he lowered his head. “My magic is not powerful enough, Sire,” Gaius said as he sat down on a bench. “If Merlin were here…” “Arthur , I’m afraid this would not even be within his power .” Gwen screamed, her fingers gripping the edges of the bed. She was shaking uncontrollably , and her skin was cold to the touch. Arthur was lost, he did not know what to do, and he was afraid to touch her and cause her more pain. He looked down seeing the blood and he knew…he was losing her . Hunith put her hands on Arthur ’s shoulders, “Arthur , let me take care of her .” He looked up at her and gave a slight nod then got to his feet moving to sit on the steps leading to Merlin’ s old room. Drawing his knees up, he pressed his hands to his face and wept silently . Merlin stood on the shore of A valon a heavy feeling had settled over him. Something was wrong…very wrong. Arthur… He bent down and placed a hand over the water , his eyes flashing gold. He saw Arthur lost and alone as Gwen screamed in pain. He heard Gaius and saw his mother helping to take care of her . “No!” Merlin yelled as he saw the blood and he knew . “No, please!” he screamed into the sky, “Stop this, please…Arthur cannot lose them!” “My child…” a woman wrapped in a soft white glow appeared over the water , “What distresses you so?” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur has lost enough. Do not take his wife and baby . I beg of you, White Goddess. Spare them.” “You insist on challenging the fates yet again for your king?” she asked with a raised eyebrow and a soft smile. “Have you not yet learned your lesson…what happens when you go against destiny?” “Save them, please! I will do anything. Y ou can take back my magic…” “Ah, Merlin, even in this world you continue to sacrifice yourself for King Arthur . He has moved on, as should you. I will not take back your magic.” “I cannot stand by and allow him to suf fer the loss of Gwen and their child. Not when there is something I can do to save them!” Merlin shouted. “What makes you think you can save them?” The Goddess studied him with narrowed eyes then lifted her head slightly and smiled. “V ery well…choose one,” she said bluntly . “What?” he asked, his eyes going wide. “Choose, Merlin, Guinevere, or the child. Choose, or both will die.” “How can I possibly make such a choice?” “You must do so now , my child. The queen or the heir? Which will live?” Merlin dropped to his knees on the shore, tears streaming down his face. He lowered his head focusing on the images in the water . Gwen or the baby , he could not choose…but if he did not, Arthur would lose them both. The kingdom would lose its queen and the heir to the throne…Arthur ’s legacy . “Merlin, you must choose,” the White Goddess said. Looking up at her , his eyes wide and filled with tears, “Arthur will be devastated.” “Yes, he will be, but you can spare him the loss of his wife or his child. I am only of fering you this chance out of love for you, my proudest creation…my gift to the world.” Merlin looked down at the images on the water's surface again then got to his feet. He swiped at his eyes and looked at her . His voice came out rough and deep. “I choose the child. Save their baby , please.” “Very well,” the goddess nodded then she took the tip of her silver staf f and swirled it through the images in the water and her eyes glowed bright white. Merlin stumbled back a step. A moment later she was gone, and he was alone. Arthur sat on the steps holding the tiny bundle in his arms, tears sliding down his face. His son…he had a son. He pressed his lips to the tiny head, a sob escaping his chest. His beautiful Guinevere was gone. How would he ever be able to go on without her? “Arthur , would you like me to take him?” Hunith asked. “No, not yet,” he shook his head. “I want you to know , that I will stay in Camelot and help you all I can,” she said softly . “Thank you, Hunith,” he gave her a sad smile, “He’ s beautiful, isn’ t he.” “Yes, he is,” she said pulling a small stool over so she could sit next to them. “Have you thought of a name?” Arthur nodded, “His name will be Gavin…Gavin Thomas Pendragon.” Hunith smiled, “That is the perfect name. Gavin is a bird…like a Merlin.” “Yes, it is. How do I do this alone?” Arthur asked, “How did you raise Merlin all alone?” “We do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy , Arthur . That is all we can do.” Arthur glanced over at the bed where a sheet covered the body of his Guinevere. “I failed her…I cannot fail him.” “These things happen, it was not your fault. The fact that Gavin survived is a miracle. I have helped to deliver many babies who were breech and they did not make it.” “Gaius…” Arthur said. “He will return soon. He went to inform the court and to make arrangements…” “I just…I can’ t believe she is gone,” Arthur shook his head. “I know , I am so deeply sorry . She was a wonderful woman and queen.” “Thank you for all you did for her through the last months. She loved you so much.” “And I her , we grew close during the time she lived with me in Ealdor . Arthur , she loved you deeply . She wanted this baby…she wanted you to have a son to carry on the Pendragon legacy . She told me many times that meant everything to her .” “I just never thought I would be raising him on my own.” “You will not be alone, you have so many people who love you, Arthur . You are like a son to me. I could not have gotten through Merlin’ s death without you and Gwen. I will always be here for you and Gavin, I promise.” “Thank you,” Arthur smiled reaching over to grasp her hand, “Having you here helped me too.” “Perhaps you should take Gavin to your chambers and get some rest, Arthur . I have arranged for a cradle to be placed in your room. I will come for you when she is ready , and I will stay with him while you say your goodbyes. I must go to the kitchen to prepare more of the milk for his next feeding.” Arthur stared at the bed and then nodded. “All right,” he said then got up carefully supporting the head of his infant son. He kissed Hunith on the forehead then left the room walking down the corridor . He was glad that he did not meet anyone along the way . It was after midnight. W alking into the chambers he had shared with Guinevere he felt the weight of her loss. Glancing down at the child in his arms he smiled. “I won’ t let you down, Guinevere,” he said softly , “I will raise our son. I will never let him forget his mother . He will be loved and cherished, and I promise he will never doubt his worth.” Merlin smiled through his tears as he watched the scene in the water . “Arthur , I am so sorry ,” he whispered. He turned as he heard a noise behind him. He saw Gwen coming toward the lake, looking as she did when she was a servant, wearing the pink dress she had worn the day he took her to the woods to meet Arthur for their picnic. He shook his head as she looked up and saw him. “Merlin!” she gasped and ran into his waiting arms. “Gwen, I am so sorry ,” he choked, tears running down his face. “Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for .” “I wanted to save you both…but the White Goddess forced me to choose.” “I don’ t understand,” Gwen said softly cupping his cheek. “I asked her to save you and the baby , but she made me choose between you. I chose to save the baby ,” Merlin said his voice breaking. “Oh, Merlin,” Gwen smiled brightly , “Thank you…thank you for saving my child. All I wanted was for my baby to live. That is all a mother can ask for .” “Arthur…” “Arthur will be all right,” she said, “He will be a wonderful father . I have no doubt.” “I was afraid…” Merlin shook his head, “I felt Arthur ’s despair , I just wanted to help.” “And you did, Merlin. Y ou saved my life many times, you saved my father , and now you have saved my beautiful baby . I owe you a debt I can never repay .” She stepped back and looked at him, “Y ou look good, Merlin. I have missed you.” “My magic has been slowly returning.” “So, this is where we go when it is over ,” Gwen said, “Y ou are here to greet me?” “Yes, well…it’ s the gateway ,” Merlin nodded, “I just like it here. It is peaceful.” “Where do I go next?” “Come with me,” he smiled then led her out onto the water . He waved a hand and a doorway appeared. It opened and she looked at him with a fond smile. “You’re coming with me then?” “No, but you won’ t be alone,” he nodded as Elyan and T om appeared in the open doorway . “Father! Elyan!” Gwen beamed then embraced Merlin, “Thank you for being here for me.” “I love you, Gwen,” he said then kissed her tenderly , “Go on, now , your family is waiting.” Gwen stepped through the door , and it vanished. Merlin stood there for a moment then looked up as the White Goddess appeared to him again. “It seems you made the right choice, my child.” “Thank you for your help. What will happen now?” “The child will live, it seems he has his own destiny ,” she smiled. “What do you mean?” “That is not for you to know…not yet,” the goddess said then vanished in a white light. “Great,” Merlin muttered, “Y ou’re worse than Kilgharrah.” Three years later… “Gavin!” Hunith called after the young prince, “Gavin, come here child. Are you trying to give me a fright? T ake pity on this old woman.” “Sorry ,” the little sandy-haired, blue-eyed boy gave her a sheepish grin, “I want to see father .” “A training field is no place for a little one,” Hunith beamed as she scooped him up in her arms. He kicked his legs gently , pressing his hand to her cheek. “Please, Hunith…” Letting out a breath, she shook her head, “Fine, but just for a little while. Then you are going to eat your lunch and take an afternoon nap. Promise?” Gavin nodded, “Promise!” Hunith carried him to the training field where Arthur was working with his new knights. Gwaine and Percival lingered of f to the side drinking from the water bucket, covered in sweat. It was already hot, and it was only late morning. Arthur glanced over , spotting them, and ran over to kiss his son’ s chubby cheek. “Y ou want to watch?” he asked, and Gavin nodded emphatically . “One day you will join us, my boy .” “That is a long time away ,” Hunith chided Arthur with a wink. “Yes, of course,” he chuckled then kissed Gavin again before jogging back to his men. Hunith moved to a bench and sat down putting Gavin on his feet while keeping her arm around him so he would not run out onto the field and get in the way . She watched as Arthur fought three knights at once and as usual, he defeated each of them with strength and stamina. She smiled as she remembered Merlin telling her how he and Arthur met. Her boys…all three of them, she thought as she kissed the top of Gavin’ s head. She lost Merlin, but she loved Arthur and Gavin as her own, feeling as proud of them as any mother would. As Ygraine would. A second group of knights, this time four , surrounded Arthur . She noted that one of them wore leather armor which she thought was odd. Arthur did not seem concerned about it as he began to spar with the four men. Hunith caught a glimpse, a flash of metal that was out of place. Before she could react the man with the leather rushed forward slicing at Arthur ’s throat with a dagger only to hit an invisible force his eyes widening in surprise for a split second before Arthur ran him through with his sword. He turned to look at his son, breathing hard and shaking. Gavin was standing with one arm raised and his eyes shimmering gold. Hunith looked from him to Arthur in shock. Neither of them said anything not wanting to draw attention to the boy. She had suspected for a while now that Gavin had magic…now there could be no doubt. He just saved his father ’s life without uttering a word of a spell. “That’ s enough,” Arthur growled at his men, “Get this rubbish of f the field.” He walked over to Gavin picking him up in his arms. “Gavin, you did that?” The boy nodded. “Couldn’ t let that bad man hurt you,” he said then his face fell, “Am I in trouble?” “No, no, my boy ,” Arthur kissed his forehead, “Y ou’re not in trouble, love.” He looked at Hunith questioningly then they walked back to the castle together . “I guess now we know .” “Yes,” she said, “Are you all right?” “Yes, thanks to my son.” “I was referring to what he did. Are you all right with the magic?” Arthur shook his head, “I am not scared of it, if that is what you’re asking. How did you feel when you realized Merlin had magic at such an early age?” Hunith laughed, “Merlin was much younger when I first saw his magic.” “Really?” Arthur asked. “Yes, the first time his eyes turned gold I was so frightened I nearly dropped him. He was only a week old at the time.” “So, he was literally born with it,” Arthur shook his head, “And now my Gavin has magic. What I do not understand is how . Guinevere did not have magic and I definitely do not have it. I wish Gaius were here, could really use his help.” Gaius had passed on just a year earlier . Hunith had taken over as healer and caretaker for Gavin. Arthur would have been lost without her in their lives since Guinevere died. “Who else can I go to?” “Maybe reach out to the Druids, they may know . Or Kilgharrah…” Arthur nodded, “If anyone would know the answer it would be the dragon.” It had become a regular occurrence for Arthur to go to the clearing and call to him. He would come and they would talk about Merlin and how much they missed him. Kilgharrah had explained the prophecies and his and Merlin’ s parts in them. He still did not know the lasting ef fects of Merlin’ s death. The Gods, or Fates, or whoever had not seen fit to reveal what lay ahead for them all. “I will go to him before nightfall.” “I want to go,” Gavin said, “Please, father .” “All right,” Arthur smiled, “I will take you, but only if you do what Hunith says and eat your lunch and take a nap.” “All right,” he grinned. “I should come along too,” Hunith said, “That way I can bring Gavin home when he gets too tired out. I know you will want to stay longer .” “You’re so good to us,” Arthur smiled then kissed her cheek. “I have to take care of my boys,” she winked then took Gavin from his father , “All right, food then nap, then we will go see the dragon.” Arthur stood there watching his giggling son and the woman who gave up everything to take care of them. He now knew exactly where Merlin inherited his deep compassion and his intelligence. Hunith reminded him so much of her son in the little facial expressions and the way she could look at him and know exactly what he was thinking. Arthur could not have survived the last three years without her support, her steadfast courage, and strength. Having her there was the next best thing to having Merlin himself. “Arthur ,” Leon said as he came toward him, “What happened back there on the training field?” “That new knight…Magne…he attacked me with a dagger . I killed him.” “I’m talking about the magic, Sire,” the taller man said. “Yes, that,” Arthur said as he turned and started walking up the steps. “Arthur?” Letting out a breath, Arthur glanced around and then moved closer to Leon. “It was Gavin.” Leon’ s eyes went wide, “Gavin has magic? How?” “I have no idea, but I need to find out. I will be going to the clearing before sunset with Gavin and Hunith,” he said, “I need to speak with Kilgharrah.” “I should come with you, or Gwaine,” he said. “We will be fine, but thank you, Leon.” “Magne was a traitor . We searched his quarters and found evidence that he was working for someone, but we do not know yet who it was.” “Could be anyone,” Arthur shook his head and continued walking up the stairs to the next floor . He turned the corner and headed for the council chambers. “There are many who are resisting the uniting of the five kingdoms under my rule.” “But the kings and queens have all sworn their allegiance and agreed to the terms.” “True, but there are others who are not so accepting of their decision. Many lords feel entitled to their kingdom’ s wealth and power which will now fall under Camelot’ s control and protection. In doing so it limits their ability to become wealthier of f the backs of the citizens. Keeps them from abusing their titles.” Leon smiled, “If your father could see what you have accomplished, Arthur…” “He would still find fault in it, as he always did. I no longer care about my father ’s approval or acceptance. He was wrong in all his decisions. W rong for his hate and bigotry and the genocide of hundreds…if not thousands of innocent people with and without magic.” “Well, for what it is worth, I am proud of you, Arthur ,” Leon said, “Y ou are a far better man and king than Uther ever was.” “And I owe it all to Merlin,” Arthur said softly , “Without him…Camelot would not be standing, and I would not be king.” “That may be true, but it was you that Merlin fought for , not the kingdom. It was his belief… his love that made him choose to fight by your side.” Arthur nodded and let out a breath, “I still miss him, and I miss my beautiful Guinevere.” “I know you do,” Leon said, “At least you have Gavin.” “Yes, and Gavin has magic,” Arthur huf fed a laugh. “Should make life interesting.” “To say the least.” “It is good you have Hunith to help. The voice of experience when it comes to magic.” “I am eternally grateful for her . I would be lost without Hunith’ s guidance and support.” “Like her son,” Leon said knowingly , and Arthur smiled. “I must go now , Gwaine is speaking to people trying to find out if anyone knows where Magne came from.” “Keep me informed,” Arthur said and watched as Leon walked down the corridor . He reached the door of the council chambers and went inside to find Percival studying a map. “Arthur ,” he said, “I was just looking over the finished map of the newly united kingdoms. It is amazingly well done and detailed.” “You always did love your maps,” Arthur grinned. “When you have traveled as much as I, maps are interesting.” “I never imagined I would one day be the ruler over all five kingdoms as one.” “After you defeated Mor gana, they felt you were the leader they all needed.” “I did not do it alone,” Arthur shook his head and sat down at the head of the table. “No, but it was you who inspired every man, woman, and child to fight for freedom. It was your love for your people that drove you, unlike some kings who only cared about themselves and no one else.” “It was my knights, my army , my queen, and…” Arthur ’s voice trailed of f. “Merlin,” Percival said. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “If not for him I could have easily turned into one of those kings. He and Guinevere taught me so much about compassion and strength…putting others first no matter what their station. They showed me that a person’ s title or position in life does not determine their worth, as did Gwaine. Lancelot taught me to stand for what I believed in… for what was right and good. Y ou, Percival, showed me that strength and bravery were not enough and that I needed to be open-minded and listen to people. Gaius’ skills as a physician, Leon’ s loyalty , and Elyan’ s determination…all of you have made me the king I am.” Percival smiled, “And none of us would be here if not for Merlin.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “Y es, you are right. Sometimes I think Gwaine and Lancelot were more loyal to Merlin than to me.” “Gwaine told me some of what you two witnessed in the Crystal Cave,” Percival said as he took a seat to Arthur ’s right. “Merlin should have a statue erected in the square in his honor .” Arthur grinned, “Merlin would hate it. All he did, he did not want rewards or to be celebrated…just to be accepted for who he was…to be free.” “Free to use his magic,” Percival nodded. “Every time I think about the danger he faced every single day he lived in Camelot. All the hangings, beheadings, the pyres in the courtyard…all those people, they could have been him at any given moment and I would have been powerless to stop it while my father lived.” “You would have found a way . You would never have let Merlin die like that.” “No, instead he sacrificed himself for me.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom.” “His dream of being free…it is not fair that he died never knowing freedom. He lived his entire life in fear of persecution, slavery , and death. He deserved that chance.” “Yes, he did,” Percival nodded, “But you were more important to him than his freedom…his life. He proved that over and over again. Do you think there is a chance that one day he will return?” “I do not know . He didn’ t know either . The prophecies said I would die, and he would live on.” “His magic made him immortal.” “He told me that his magic will never totally be gone because it is a part of him, part of his soul.” “Then perhaps once his magic is at full strength, he will be able to return. He will be immortal again,” Percival said. “I am not sure that is how it works. He no longer has a body anyway; it was burned by Kilgharrah on A valon. Even if he could return, his soul would have nowhere to go.” Percival nodded, “W e all miss him. He was like a brother to all of us.” Arthur ran a hand through his hair , “He was everything to me.” “I know , Arthur . I may not have been here in the beginning, but I saw enough to know that you loved him as much as he loved you. Even if you could not show it.” Clearing his throat awkwardly , Arthur leaned forward pulling the map closer , “Let’ s have a look at this map.” Percival smiled, “Y es, Sire.” “It’s a beautiful evening,” Hunith said inhaling the fresh air as she rode the dark gray mare next to Arthur on his white stallion Apollo with Gavin in front of him. “Yes, it is,” Arthur smiled. Gavin looked up at him and grinned, “Going to see Killy!” Arthur laughed, “Y es, we are. Though I’m not sure you should call him that.” “He likes me,” Gavin said. “Yes, he does. He said you were special. I guess now we know what he meant.” “Like Merlin,” the boy grinned. “Just like Merlin,” Arthur wrapped his arm around Gavin pulling him closer , kissing the top of his beautiful son’ s dark blonde head. “Y our mother would be so proud of you, little one… so brave and smart.” “Like his father ,” Hunith smiled, and Arthur laughed. Reaching their destination, Arthur dismounted and put Gavin down on the ground watching as the boy ran to the center of the clearing, looking up into the sky . He then turned to help Hunith down and tethered the horses to a tree while she went to join Gavin. He looked around, taking in their surroundings. He reached for his sword as a sudden feeling of unease washed over him. Shaking his head, he drew the sword and called to Kilgharrah and waited. “Arthur ,” Hunith turned to look back at him, her eyes wide as she seemed to be sensing something as well. Arthur took two steps toward Gavin. He heard a sound behind him and spun around as a heavy fog came out of nowhere, enveloping them making it impossible to see anything. He heard the sound of men rushing toward them, obscured by the fog, and ran to where he knew that Hunith and Gavin had been standing. They were gone. “Gavin! Hunith!” he yelled, “Where are you?” “Arthur!” he heard Hunith cry out and turned heading toward the sound of her voice. “No, get away from him!” Hunith screamed. “Leave him alone!” “Hunith!” Arthur caught a glimpse of five men dressed in leather and chain mail moving through the fog, wielding swords, and maces. They had not seen him, and he moved silently his heart pounding in his chest as he forced himself to focus. He looked up at the sky hoping to see the dragon and nearly tripped over Hunith who was on the ground a deep gash on her forehead. “Arthur ,” she gasped, tears streaming down her face as she grabbed his tunic, “I tried to stop them…they have Gavin!” “Hunith, take this,” Arthur said handing her the dagger from his boot. “Can you walk?” he asked. “I think so,” she nodded, and he helped her up leading her over to a stand of trees. “Stay here, I have to go after them,” he said, “Which way did they take him?” “That way ,” Hunith motioned to her left, “Arthur…” The sound of heavy wings somewhere above made them both look up and Kilgharrah swooped down letting loose a hot breath that cleared the fog around them then he landed. “Kilgharrah, they have my son!” Arthur said, “I need your help.” The dragon launched into the air once again and circled overhead burning of f the fog until they could see the area. Arthur spotted two men and rushed them killing one. The other he shoved up against a tree the blade of his sword pressing against the man’ s throat. “Where’ s my son?” he roared. “Where you will never find him,” the man grinned, his dark eyes cold. “Tell me now!” Arthur growled his blade drawing blood. “Never!” Arthur stepped back and drove his sword through the man killing him instantly . Looking up he saw Kilgharrah burn a trail taking out three more men. “They are heading east,” Kilgharrah said then headed in that direction with Arthur following on the ground. He ran down an incline and through a ravine stopping as he heard Gavin crying in the distance. “Gavin!” Arthur called out and started running toward the sound of his son’ s voice. He scrambled over a rise and ran through a brook following tracks in the mud. He reached a ridge and looked down spotting a group of twelve men mounting horses one of them struggling to hold on to a squirming and kicking Gavin who was fighting with everything he had. “Gavin! Release him now!” Arthur shouted half running half sliding down the steep slope. “Let me go!” Gavin screamed, then bit the man holding him, on his upper arm. The man roared and slapped him hard and Gavin went limp. “No!” Arthur yelled, jumping over a fallen tree. Kilgharrah swooped down the men scattered firing crossbows at him to no ef fect. “Give me back my son!” he locked swords with three men who rushed him, he fought them of f killing two and wounding the third. When he looked around the man holding Gavin was nowhere in sight and Kilgharrah was laying down a trail of flames through the woods. “Gavin!” Arthur yelled his heart crushed in a vise of panic and desperation as he turned in a complete circle running a hand through his hair. Smoke from the fires and the still lingering fog made it impossible to see anything especially with the sun going down. Kilgharrah landed near Arthur . “I am sorry , Great King,” he said, “I lost sight of them when they split up in the woods. I could have burned everything, but I was afraid I would harm the boy.” “They took him…they took my son,” Arthur said fighting tears. He could not think, his hands were shaking. “Kilgharrah, I need you to go to Camelot and get help, please. I will go back and check on Hunith at the clearing. T ell my men to meet us there as soon as possible.” “I will go,” the dragon said then leaped into the air flying for Camelot. Arthur pulled himself together and somehow made his way back to the clearing. He found Hunith sitting by a fire hugging herself, rocking back and forth with tears streaming down her face. She looked up as Arthur approached her , eyes going wide and full of hope that vanished when she did not see Gavin. “I am so sorry ,” she choked shaking her head, “I tried to hold on to Gavin, but they hit me.” Arthur crouched next to her , cupping her cheek, “It was not your fault. There’ s nothing you could have done. I chased them, I saw him, but they got away…I—I sent Kilgharrah for help. Did you hear or see anything that could help us find him?” Hunith thought for a moment then nodded, “I heard someone mention King Alined.” “Alined? Why would he take Gavin? Those men were not wearing Deorham colors.” “I also heard the name Amren,” she said, and Arthur nodded. “Alined’ s son, Prince Amren…that makes more sense. He is the sole heir to the throne of Deorham and railed against the uniting of the kingdoms under my rule. He was to inherit the throne when Alined dies and was not pleased that his father signed the agreement that essentially gave away his birthright.” “But he will still be king, just under Camelot rule…your rule,” Hunith said. “Yes, but he will not have the power his father had during his reign. I should have known he would retaliate. Dammit.” “He won’ t hurt Gavin, will he?” Hunith asked tears shining in her eyes. Arthur shook his head, “I do not know . The man holding Gavin slapped him to make him stop fighting him. He stopped moving.” “Dear Gods,” she gasped, “Oh, Arthur , I’m so sorry .” “Hunith, stop blaming yourself,” Arthur said, “If anyone is to blame it is me for coming here without protection.” “How did they even know you would be here?” “Obviously , there was someone else other than Magne in Camelot. They must have overheard us talking. The knights will be here soon. W e will get him back.” “What caused that fog?” Hunith asked. “Magic, I have seen it before. Only that time it was Merlin trying to help the Druids.” “They have magic…” “It seems so.” “What are you going to do?” “I’m going to find my son, and God help anyone who gets in my way ,” Arthur said, his eyes fierce and dark. The Calling Merlin felt it, the call of his magic…not from within but coming from the other side. Reaching, pulling, dragging him toward the edge of the lake. He ran through the woods, the sun’s rays filtering down through the branches. W ithout slowing his pace, he dove into the water swimming hard and fast until he saw the bright blinding light beneath the surface. He headed right for it and busted through the center exploding to the surface. His lungs burned his body suddenly felt heavy and awkward. He stumbled from the water collapsing to his knees on the shore digging his long fingers into the sand. Sucking in air , he looked up at the dark sky at the bright stars shining through gaps in a heavy fog that felt unnatural. He tried to stand, but his legs did not want to work. He let out a groan rolling onto his back. He was cold, trembling, and weak…he was alive. Alive and naked. “Ow,” he moaned pressing his hand to his forehead. The magic was even stronger now , calling to him. He inhaled deeply trying to focus. He felt his magic sur ge within him in answer to the call. Whatever it was, it was bad…really bad. He needed to get up and move. Being slammed back into this body , his own body , he would have to figure out later how that was even possible when his body was burned to ash by dragon fire over three years prior . Merlin crawled up the shore and then stood on legs as wobbly as a newborn colt. His eyes flashed bright gold, focusing everything on finding his equilibrium and strengthening this new body . Running a hand through his dark hair he looked around. Please, help me… Hearing the words so clearly startled him. It sounded like a small child. He reached out with his magic, eyes burning gold as he sent his vision out into the woods over hills and through ravines, along a brook searching for the source. He found it in a camp hidden deep in a gully . Surrounded by fifteen men with three campfires, a small child sat huddled in a blanket his hands and feet tied. I hear you, little one. Merlin waited and listened for a response. Who was this child and why did his magic feel so familiar , like a part of his own? Merlin… How do you know my name? My father… Your father…what is your name? Gavin…Prince Gavin Pendragon… Merlin’ s knees nearly gave out again as the realization hit him. Gavin…Arthur and Gwen’ s son and he had magic…Merlin’ s magic. He was in trouble. I’m coming for you, Gavin. Do not give up. Hurry , Merlin… Keep talking to me, little one. I’m her e. Don’ t be scar ed. I want to go home…want my father… I will get you back to him, I pr omise. Merlin ran through the woods until he came to a village where people were settling in for the night. He skirted the edge until he found a house with nearly dry laundry hanging on a rack. He grabbed a worn brown tunic and a dark gray cloak with a hood, and brown trousers. He dressed quickly and then called a pair of boots to him from inside the house whispering a word to make them fit him. He then uttered an apology and a few words of magic to warm their hearth and stack their firewood. It was all he could do for now , he had to get to Gavin. The village didn’ t have any horses, so he focused on Gavin and started to run. He considered calling Kilgharrah, but from what he could tell the area was heavily wooded and the dragon would not be able to land nearby . He wasn’ t even sure if his Dragonlord powers would still work since he died and he had no son to pass them down to. Gavin, ar e you still with me? I’m her e…the man with strange eyes made me want to sleep. Someone with magic… Merlin… It’s all right, you r est. I will be ther e soon. I won’ t let anyone hurt you. Okay… Merlin clambered up a hillside, his eyes shining in the darkness helping him find his way . He was finally feeling at home in his own body again, his long legs strong and sure, his balance and focus returning. He couldn’ t help smiling it felt so good to be alive again and at the moment he wasn’ t about to question such a gift. W as this permanent or would he be forced to return to A valon? Taking every shortcut that he could remember , Merlin finally reached the camp. The men were sleeping except for two positioned at each end of the gully to watch for any sign of trouble. He lifted the hood of the cloak and lowered his head before walking boldly into the center of the camp. The guards jumped up drawing their swords. “Declare yourself,” one of them said. Merlin saw Gavin sleeping up against the tree wrapped in a heavy blanket. He smiled and then turned to the guards. “Forgive my intrusion, I am a Druid, separated from my people,” Merlin said. “Be on your way then,” the taller of the guards growled. “I will, but first, may I warm myself by your fire?” “You may not!” Merlin shook his head and then lowered his hood. The guards rushed him, but he raised one hand and shouted a word. They hit a wall of magic and froze, their eyes wide with fear . Merlin felt movement behind him and turned as their sorcerer threw a spell at him. Almost as soon as the spell was cast the man froze as he recognized Merlin. “I know you! Merlin, isn’ t it…” “Alvarr ,” Merlin smirked. “You…you have magic!” “I was born with it.” “Are you him…are you Emrys?” Merlin shrugged, “Might be.” “What do you want? There is nothing here for you.” “Oh, you see there is. Y ou and your men kidnapped someone very important to me.” Alvarr looked over at the sleeping child. “It is not of my doing. Their orders came from someone in Deorham…from King Alined’ s court.” “Working for a warmonger king who prospers of f the backs of dead soldiers?” Merlin glanced around, “Casting sleeping spells on a frightened little boy . You should be ashamed of yourself.” “You have no right to judge me…you protected the Pendragons,” Alvarr hissed closing the distance between them, “If you are truly the great Emrys why do you care about one young prince?” “Because I was born to serve the Once and Future King and you have taken his son. I cannot allow you to get away with that. I just spent the last three years in A valon, I am stronger now than I ever was before. If you want to live you will walk away and let me take him home to Camelot.” “Even if I do, they will not allow you to do that,” Alvarr smiled smugly nodding to the now wide-awake mercenaries surrounding Merlin. “They will be more than happy to send you back to A valon.” Merlin’ s smile grew , “I’d like to see them try .” Alvarr ’s eyes flashed, and Merlin uttered a word throwing his arms out to the side. Every man in the camp except Alvarr dropped dead where they stood causing the latter ’s face to turn a few shades paler as he realized the truth. “Emrys,” Alvarr said, “Please, do not harm me. W e are the same…” Merlin shook his head, “No, I am nothing like you. T o take an innocent child from his father . Using Mor gana all those years ago the way you did. Corrupting Mordred. I should kill you, but I am going to do something far worse and allow you to live, only without the one thing that makes you the monster you are. Y our magic. “No, please!” Alvarr shouted bringing his arms up. Merlin raised a hand and shouted a spell his eyes turning silver . Alvarr fell to the ground as his magic was ripped from his chest, shot into the air , and scattered like falling stars over the land as he cried and begged. When Merlin finished, he released him. “There now you will know what it is like to be powerless and frightened,” Merlin said coldly , “Get up, run away…now!” Alvarr scrambled to his feet and ran into the woods without another word or even a glance back. Merlin then turned and gathered Gavin up in his arms uttering a spell to wake him. The boy looked so much like Arthur it brought tears to his eyes. He smiled, gently caressing his cheek as his eyes fluttered open. “Merlin?” he asked. “Yes,” Merlin nodded, “Are you hurt?” “You really came for me,” Gavin said. “Of course,” Merlin grinned, “Y ou have magic.” “Like you,” the boy said, “My father…told me you were gone.” “I was, but I’m not anymore. What do you say we get you back to him?” “He’ s far away ,” Gavin said his eyes welling up with tears. “We will find him…I found you, didn’ t I?” Merlin grinned, hugging him close and the boy wrapped his arms around his neck. “Hunith tried to stop the bad men from taking me. They hit her ,” Gavin choked, his little body trembling. Merlin’ s eyes widened, “My mother was with you and Arthur?” “She takes care of me,” Gavin nodded, “W e were going to see Killy ‘cause I can do things.” “Killy?” Merlin asked with a grin. The thought of Kilgharrah allowing Gavin to call him that was quite amusing. “W ell, don’ t you worry , my mum is a tough woman. I am certain she is fine.” “She tells me stories about you,” Gavin smiled through his tears. Merlin laughed as he sat the boy down by the fire to warm his hands and check him over for injuries finding only a few cuts and bruises, “I’m sure she does.” He whispered a word and the ropes fell away from his wrists and ankles. “There, you’re free now .” “You’re really not gone anymore?” “I’m here, Gavin. I do not know how , but your magic and mine are the same. It called me home.” “I’m glad…father misses you.” “And I missed him so much.” “Can you stay with us now?” Merlin had no idea whether he would be able to or not. W as this temporary or was he back for good? W as he immortal again? It was obvious that his magic was much stronger than before. “I’m not sure it is up to me, but I want to.” “Please stay…” Gavin said softly . “Come on, let’ s get you back to Arthur .” Gavin wrapped his arms around Merlin as he picked the exhausted boy up resting him on his hip. Reaching out with his magic he felt Arthur and smiled. “He’ s not far , he’s looking for you,” he said, and Gavin buried his face in the crook of Merlin’ s neck. “Sleep little one, you’re safe now .” He smiled and then headed west, his magic guiding them through the woods. Arthur was barely able to focus, stumbling over the rough ground holding onto the reins of his horse. His vision blurred and he had not eaten anything. Once his men had arrived at the clearing, he sent Hunith back with Leon. Gwaine and Percival were fanned out on either side of him. They had been searching in the darkness all night using torches carried by his soldiers to light the way . The magical fog lingered, and Kilgharrah flew overhead searching the countryside, but even he was exhausted, so Arthur sent him away . The dragon had reluctantly left, clearly worried about Gavin. It was so strange to think about a magical creature being such an important part of their lives now . His father would definitely have something to say about that. “Arthur ,” Gwaine said handing him a waterskin and a hunk of dried meat, “Y ou look like you are going to drop any minute. Y ou need to rest and eat, drink some water .” “Cannot rest until I find my son,” Arthur shook his head. “Gwaine’ s right,” Percival said as he approached, “Y ou’re not going to be able to fight if you can’t even stand up.” “He’ s alone and cold…surrounded by strangers,” Arthur said then forced himself to take a drink of water and a bite of the meat, “I can’ t stop.” He handed the waterskin back to Gwaine and started walking forward again. Gwaine and Percival looked at each other both feeling helpless. Their king…their friend was hurting and lost. He would push himself to his limits to get Gavin back. And what if the worst happened? Arthur had already lost Merlin and Gwen…to lose Gavin would kill him. Arthur crouched down looking at a track in the torchlight. The men who took Gavin had split into three groups and they had no idea which of the three had him. For all he knew they could be following the wrong tracks and Gavin could be miles in the opposite direction. “Gavin,” Arthur choked, dropping to his knees, and lowered his head. “What is that?” Gwaine asked and Arthur looked up turning to see where he was looking. The fog seemed to be alive, swirling and dancing through the trees like spirits, ghosts of the dead, silent and eerie. A bluish-white glow illuminated the trees, pushing back the fog. Arthur ’s heart stuttered, that light… He got to his feet as a hooded figure emer ged from the woods, wrapped in a heavy gray cloak. Percival and Gwaine drew their swords, but Arthur waved a hand. “Stand down,” the king said as he walked toward the figure. “My Lord,” Percival said. “They mean us no harm.” “How can you be so sure?” Gwaine asked. “Call it a funny feeling,” Arthur said then sheathed his own sword. He watched as the figure stopped walking. He drew back his cloak revealing a sleepy but very much alive Gavin. “Oh, my God, Gavin!” The figure put Gavin down on the ground as Arthur dropped to his knees. “Father!” Gavin yelled and ran toward him. “Thank the Gods,” Arthur dropped to his knees gathering him into his embrace holding him kissing his cheek and forehead, stroking his hair checking him over for injuries. “My boy ,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Don’ t cry, father ,” Gavin said, hugging his neck. “I’m so sorry ,” Arthur said holding him tightly . He looked up at the hooded figure who was still standing a few yards away . “Thank you, whoever you are…for bringing my boy back. How will I ever repay you? Y ou shall receive a reward, anything you want…name it…land, gold, anything.” “I’d settle for my old job back,” the figure said then slowly lowered his hood. “Holy…” Gwaine said, his mouth dropping open in shock. Arthur stared at the man before him, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Merlin?” Merlin gave him a wide grin, “Hello, Arthur…” “Merlin…you’re alive!” Arthur scrambled to his feet bringing Gavin with him. “My God, you’re back! How?” he asked shaking his head as he closed the distance between them. “I’m not exactly sure, but it was Gavin. His magic…I do not know how , but it is part of my own. It…he called to me, brought me back and I was able to find him. The men who took him are all dead except Alvarr . I let him live, but without his magic. Personal experience taught me that is a fate worse than death.” Arthur shook his head, “As glad as I am to hear that, right now I just want to look at you.” Merlin chuckled, “Are you saying you’re glad to see me?” “Gods, yes,” Arthur grinned, “W elcome home, Merlin.” He put his arm around Merlin’ s neck and kissed his temple as they walked back toward Gwaine and Percival who were grinning from ear to ear . “Boys, we have Gavin, and we have Merlin back.” “Merlin!” Gwaine said and he stepped forward embracing him tightly , cupping the back of his head, “It is so damn good to see you, my friend.” “You too, Gwaine,” Merlin grinned then turned to Percival who wrapped him in a bear hug that made it dif ficult to breathe. “Merlin, we missed you,” he said as he drew back finally releasing him. “It is good to have you back, brother .” “It’s good to be back.” Arthur looked at Gavin smiling and kissed his cheek. “Set up camp for the night,” he told the men and they hurried to do as he ordered. Merlin reached out to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “He looks like you,” he grinned. “I know , poor child,” Arthur smirked. “Are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am now , thanks to you. I will never be able to repay all you have done for me, Merlin.” “Then it’ s a good thing you don’ t have to.” “I’m hungry ,” Gavin said tucking his face into Arthur ’s neck. “Then let’ s get you something to eat.” Arthur tucked Gavin into his bedroll wrapping him up warmly and kissing the top of his head. Merlin sat by the fire watching with a crooked grin. “What?” Arthur asked. “Nothing, just you’re pretty good at that.” Arthur sat down next to Merlin, “Y es, well, considering who my father was it is a miracle.” “You were always better than your father ,” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him intently and shook his head, “I can’ t believe you’re here.” “Neither can I. One minute I was in A valon the next I was back…naked on the shore and completely disoriented and weak. I don’ t know how I am even me…my body .” “How do you feel now?” Arthur asked. Merlin smiled, “Happy .” “What was it like…A valon?” “Beautiful, peaceful, surreal…lonely…” Merlin frowned. “You were all alone?” “I chose to be,” he said. “Why would you?” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin…” “I guess I just felt like I didn’ t belong in the next world any more than I belonged in this one.” “Merlin, that’ s not true…” Merlin looked into Arthur ’s eyes and smiled, “It really is. Y ou saw the truth in the Crystal Cave. Y ou know what I have done…the people I hurt and killed. I am sorry for lying to you all those years. I wanted to tell you so much. Y ou were the one person I wanted to see me for who I truly was and to accept me fully .” “I see you now , and I do accept you. Gods, Merlin, I am so damn happy to have you back,” Arthur smiled. “And you brought my son back to me.” “Did you really kiss me?” Merlin asked with a raised eyebrow , “Percival told me that after I died you kissed me.” Arthur blushed and nodded, “I did.” “Sorry I missed it,” Merlin huf fed a laugh. “Really?” “Only time I ever got a real hug from you was when I was under Mor gana’ s control and cannot even remember it. Then you wait until I am dead to kiss me,” he grinned. “I never knew you wanted…” “Yes, well, you were always a bit thick,” Merlin chuckled. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “It’s all right, I always knew you loved Gwen, and she loved you. All that mattered to me was that you were happy and safe and that you would be the king that Camelot needed.” “Yes, but you needed me too and I wasn’ t there for you.” Merlin shook his head slowly , “It doesn’ t matter now .” “It really does,” Arthur said, “Everything you did for me…it was not out of duty or for some prophecy , it was out of love. Y ou sacrificed yourself for me.” “And I would do it all over again.” “I know you would and before you go and do something so foolish again, I want you to know that I love you…I love you, Merlin.” Merlin’ s head shot up as he met Arthur ’s gaze. His lips parted wordlessly , and Arthur laughed. “Speechless, are you?” he asked. “Arthur…” “I should have told you before, but I was an idiot and scared. I meant what I said in the Crystal Cave. Y ou are the other half of my soul; you always were, and you always will be.” Merlin smiled, “T wo sides of the same coin…” Arthur reached up placing his hand on Merlin’ s face, his thumb brushing lightly over his cheekbone. “It’s time I do this properly ,” he said then leaned forward pressing his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender searching kiss. Merlin kissed him back a tear slipping from his eye. Arthur drew back brushing it away with his thumb. “Are you okay?” he asked, and Merlin nodded. “Just never thought…” he said with a hitch in his voice as he averted his gaze looking over at the others around another fire. “Arthur , I don’ t know if this is permanent…if I can even stay.” Arthur nodded, “Then I do not want to waste a single moment with you. Merlin, I want you to return with us to Camelot. Y ou can do or have anything you want. Y ou can take over as physician. Y our mother has been doing both Gaius’ job and taking care of Gavin. I would have been lost without her these last three years.” “Gaius,” Merlin said softly his eyes filled with sadness. “You did know…” “Yeah, I saw him when he passed over into A valon. He tried to talk me into going through with him, but I stayed where I was.” “Losing you, Gwen, and Gaius…it was a rough few years. And Geof frey too.” “Geof frey died?” Merlin asked. “Yes, shortly after Gaius. I still have not replaced him either .” “Arthur , I want to stay with you and Gavin,” Merlin said, “As long as I am able.” “You said Gavin’ s magic is like yours?” “It is.” “Makes sense,” Arthur nodded, “Gwen was already pregnant when you did what you did to destroy Mor gana. Y our magic was released. It healed me and Kilgharrah and brought Gwaine back from the dead. It is possible that it somehow reached Gwen and our unborn child.” “I did not know it would do that. I just knew that the spell was my only chance of saving you.” “You said Mor gana was with you?” “She was, she passed over into A valon as well. It took her a long time to come to terms with everything that happened. She was certain that she belonged in hell, but I told her that it was not her fault, that it was Mor gause. W e forgave each other and she moved on…she is with Mordred now .” Arthur nodded, “Mordred, he didn’ t deserve his fate either .” Merlin lowered his head, “If I had followed my heart and helped him and Mor gana…” “Merlin, enough now , what’ s done is done. I do not want to waste any more time dwelling on the past. I have my son, I have you and I am high king over all of Albion. All five kingdoms united under one rule, peace and prosperity , and freedom. None of it would be possible without you.” “All I did was keep your arse alive,” Merlin grinned. “You really want your old job back?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Yes, unless you already have a servant of course.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I haven’ t had a servant since you died. Other than the basic duties. Y ou always said I needed to learn to do things for myself. So, I did.” “Amazing,” Merlin laughed, “Y ou dress yourself and everything?” “I even do my own laundry .” “Oh, now I know you are lying,” Merlin chuckled. “Ok, I send my laundry out to be done,” Arthur shrugged, “But I get myself up in the morning. Of course, my speeches are not as good as the ones you wrote for me.” “If you no longer have need of a manservant perhaps, I could take over Gaius and Geof frey’ s jobs and begin to rebuild the collection of magic books now that you have lifted the ban.” “That would be good,” Arthur nodded, “Perhaps you could write your own books to hopefully begin to undo the damage my father did. So, people will understand that magic is not evil.” Merlin looked at his king with tears in his eyes, “I used to dream of the day that you would see the good in magic…to be free to use the gifts I was born with.” “You are free now , Merlin. I will give you anything you want, just ask.” “Right now , I think you should get some sleep,” Merlin smiled, “Y ou’re exhausted.” “I am, I guess I’m just afraid I’ll fall asleep and wake up and you will be gone.” “Sleep, Arthur , I promise I will be here when you wake.” “You should rest too.” “I have been resting for more than three years. I am enjoying the feeling of being alive again. I think I will go join the others for some food.” “You’ll come back,” Arthur said. “I will,” Merlin smiled and then started to get to his feet, but Arthur took hold of his wrist. “Merlin…I just want to do things right this time. I don’ t want to deny my feelings anymore. But I will not do anything unless it is what you want too. The last thing I want to do is hurt you again.” “Arthur , I want to be with you. It is all I have ever wanted.” Arthur drew him close and kissed Merlin again, “Good because now that I’ve kissed you…I don’t think I can stop.” “Mmm, I wholeheartedly consent,” Merlin grinned then kissed him back. “Now get some sleep, Sire. Physician’ s orders.” Arthur laughed and then laid down on his bedroll next to Gavin. Merlin waved a hand and covered him with a blanket. His eyes flashed and the fire grew warmer . He then got up and walked over to where Gwaine and Percival were sitting around the fire pretending they had not been watching them the entire time. “May I join you?” Merlin asked and Gwaine grinned. “Merlin, damn it is good to see you,” he said pulling him down to sit on the log next to him, “Are you all right?” “I’m good I think,” Merlin nodded, “Still trying to get my bearings. Nothing like having your soul yanked out of A valon and slammed back into a somehow reformed body to leave you feeling a bit disoriented and overwhelmed.” “I cannot even imagine…” Percival said shaking his head. “Is there any food left?” Merlin asked. “Lots…here you go,” Gwaine said and handed Merlin a plate of stew and some bread, “It is not as good as yours. I missed your cooking.” “How’ s Arthur?” Percival asked. “Exhausted, but relieved to have his son,” Merlin said. “How on earth did you find him?” Gwaine asked. “He called to me, his magic…Arthur thinks that what I did, my magic being released somehow it found its way to Gavin while Gwen was pregnant.” “That’ s possible,” Gwaine nodded, “It brought me back from the dead. Who knows what else it did? Thank you, by the way .” “You’re welcome,” Merlin grinned. “You and Arthur…” Percival said raising an eyebrow . “We’ll see…I am not even sure that this is permanent.” “Avalon is not getting you back without a fight,” Gwaine said his voice rough, “Not losing you again. Even if I have to of fer myself up to appease the Goddess.” “I’ll never let you do that for me. Gwaine, you should know , I met your father ,” Merlin smiled, “He said he is very proud of you.” “My father?” Gwaine asked, tears filling his eyes, “He knows…” Merlin nodded, “I told him all about you. I used my magic to let him see you.” “Thank you, Merlin, that means a lot.” “Apparently , he and my father knew each other when they were young boys.” “Really?” Gwaine asked, “Guess that explains why you and I got on so well from the moment we met. I felt a connection to you.” “Being in A valon many things became so clear ,” Merlin said. “What do you mean?” Percival asked. Merlin glanced over at Arthur , “I met Arthur ’s mother .” “What was she like?” Gwaine asked. “Beautiful, sweet, loving, she had me tell her everything about Arthur and she told me the truth about Uther and what he did. She was happy and relieved to know that he was safe and happy .” “Did you tell Arthur?” Percival asked. “Not yet,” Merlin shook his head, “I will though. He is exhausted, I want him to rest. I am going to take over Gaius’ position as physician and Geof frey’ s position as librarian.” “Arthur never even bothered to replace you,” Gwaine said, “No one measured up. Though I think it had more to do with grief and loneliness than anything else. He really struggled after losing you, Merlin. It changed him. Then he lost Gwen and if it had not been for Gavin…” “I did not think my death would af fect him like that. What is the life of a servant compared to that of a king? W e were friends but I thought he would be all right in time.” Percival and Gwaine looked at each other knowingly . “Merlin, anyone who spent any time at all around you and Arthur knew that there was some deeper bond. Y ou were far more to him than a servant or even friend,” Percival said. “Arthur told me things after your death,” Gwaine said, “Things I will not repeat because it is not my place to do so. Merlin, you have this second chance you need to talk to him…really talk. Get him to tell you himself. And by the Gods, do not let anything or anyone come between you again.” “Yes,” Merlin nodded, “I just wish I knew what all of this means. If I am back permanently or if I was released from A valon just to help Gavin.” “There is someone who might be able to tell you,” Gwaine said then looked up to the sky . “If my Dragonlord gift still works. When my father died it passed to me. When I died, I had no son for it to go to.” “Only one way to find out,” Percival smiled. “If not, then Arthur can call him,” Gwaine said. “Arthur?” Merlin asked eyebrows lifting. “Through his sword, he can call Kilgharrah,” Percival nodded. “Yeah, he and old Killy have a bond and Gavin just loves the giant lizard. Kilgharrah helped in the search until he was ready to drop from the sky . Arthur sent him away to rest. The dragon missed you too, Merlin,” Gwaine said. “I will call him in the morning, before we leave for Camelot,” Merlin said, “I should also check on Aithusa. God knows where she is now , what happened to her after Camlann.” “Aithusa?” Percival asked. “The white dragon…the egg I rescued from the T omb of Ashkanar and hatched,” Merlin grinned. “So that’ s where Mor gana got the dragon,” the lar ger man said. “Yes, I was so focused on protecting Arthur that I abandoned her and Mor gana…” Merlin said, his voice trailing of f and he let out a rough breath. “I made so many mistakes.” “And you did so much good as well, Merlin. Always remember that,” Gwaine embraced him then drew back, patting his cheek. “This is a new beginning, my friend. Let go of the past and live now or you will miss out on so much. When you brought me back from the dead, I was so damn grateful for a fresh start. A chance to do better , and I think I have.” Percival nodded then chuckled, “Still drinks too much though.” “That doesn’ t surprise me,” Merlin laughed. “We can’ t all be perfect,” Gwaine laughed heartily then he looked into Merlin’ s eyes, his mirth fading, “It is really good to have you back, Merlin. How do you feel…I mean do you feel like you?” Merlin shook his head, “It is hard to explain. I mean, this body is mine, but all the scars are gone. Is it strange that I miss them?” “Not strange at all,” Percival said, “Y ou earned every one of them. They told your story .” “I don’ t even know if I am still immortal. My magic is more powerful.” “Well, I think it is safe to say you are still human,” Gwaine said, “Y ou can still be hurt, Merlin. So, maybe this time, you will be a little more careful and not take so many risks.” Merlin smiled, “Let’ s hope I won’ t have reason to this time around.” “What do you think Arthur will do to Alined…his son?” Percival asked. “Unless we can find absolute proof that they were involved in Gavin’ s kidnapping there is little he can do. He cannot accuse them without it, or we will have a war on our hands,” Gwaine said. “I let Alvarr go, he might have provided proof,” Merlin frowned. “Not likely ,” Percival shook his head, “The traitor Magne, he is our only link and he’ s dead.” “There has to be someone else, someone who knew Arthur planned to visit Kilgharrah and that Gavin would be with him,” Gwaine said. “Then we need to find out who it was,” Merlin said. “Tomorrow…right now , we need sleep,” Percival smiled then reached out to squeeze Merlin’ s shoulder . “W elcome home, Merlin.” He got up and moved over to his bedroll flopped down on it and let out a sigh closing his eyes. “You should sleep too, Gwaine,” Merlin said. “Aren’ t you tired? “A little, I guess.” “Are you sure you’re okay?” “Yeah, it’ s just a lot…” “Here’ s a bedroll for you, go get some rest. W e have a long ride back to Camelot tomorrow and you are going to cause quite a stir when we get there.” “The people probably won’ t even remember me,” Merlin said accepting the spare bedroll. “Wait and see,” Gwaine winked then laid down on his own bedroll, “Good night, Merlin.” “Good night, Gwaine,” Merlin hesitated for a moment then got up walking back over to where Arthur and Gavin were sleeping. He laid out his bedroll then sat down by the fire and added more wood. He glanced over at Arthur and smiled as he saw Gavin curled up in his father ’s arms, both sleeping soundly . With a whispered word he adjusted the blanket over them, and Arthur stirred, his eyes fluttering open. “Gavin,” he whispered reassuring himself that his son was still there. He then looked at Merlin with a smile, “Merlin…” “Go back to sleep, Arthur . I am not going anywhere,” Merlin grinned. “Sorry , I didn’ t mean to wake you.” “Are you all right?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Y ou all keep asking me that. I’m good…really .” “Come here, Merlin,” Arthur said rolling onto his back, holding his hand out. “Arthur?” “Come here, please,” Arthur reached over and pulled Merlin’ s bedroll closer , “Lay down.” “Yes, Y our Majesty ,” Merlin grinned and sat down taking of f his boots and cloak then Arthur tugged his sleeve sliding an arm around his shoulder and drawing him close, covering him with part of the blanket. “Just let me hold you,” Arthur said softly . Merlin did not ar gue he let out a breath and shifted onto his side resting his head on Arthur ’s shoulder . He smiled and Arthur ran his fingers through his hair . “There, much better .” “You sure this is a good idea,” Merlin grinned. “Yes, Merlin. Now go to sleep.” Merlin closed his eyes, listening to the beating of Arthur ’s heart. He felt the warmth of his breath and wondered for a moment if they could really be like this from now on. Could they really be together the way he always wanted, but never thought possible? “You’re thinking, Merlin,” Arthur said sleepily . “Sorry…” “Everything will be all right.” “If you say so, Sire.” “I do and I’m the king, so I am always right.” Merlin lifted his head to look into Arthur ’s eyes. “Are you ever going to change?” “No, you’d get bored,” Arthur grinned drawing Merlin’ s head back down, “Sleep.” Homecoming Arthur woke up to Gavin patting his cheek. “Father , wake up.” “I’m awake,” Arthur said looking around his heart jumped as he realized Merlin was not there. His boots and cloak were gone. W as he gone? “Merlin!” “Merlin is going to call Killy ,” Gavin smiled. Arthur sat up, slipped on his boots, grabbed his jacket, and got to his feet. He scooped up Gavin and carried him through their camp. Merlin was standing in a clearing with his cloak on, the hood down. His dark hair sticking up. “Merlin?” Arthur asked. Merlin turned to look at him, eyes shining with tears, and shook his head, “What if it doesn’ t work? What if I have lost that part of me…the only thing I had of my father?” “You won’ t know until you try , Merlin,” Arthur shook his head shifting Gavin’ s weight onto his hip. “Go ahead.” Merlin nodded wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his cloak and took a deep breath. “Here goes,” he said, then tilting his head back he focused and let out a roar followed by the ancient words he knew so well. His magic sur ged carrying the call higher and further over the land. “It worked…at least I think it did,” he turned to look at Arthur who was staring at him in awe. “Merlin, that was incredible,” the king said. “Can I do that?” Gavin asked with a giggle. “Afraid not, little one,” Merlin grinned. It was several minutes before they heard the familiar sound of leathery wings in the air . Kilgharrah circled and then landed with a thud, bowing his head to Merlin. “Young W arlock, you have returned,” the dragon said his eyes bright. “Hello, old friend,” Merlin said, “I was not sure you would hear me. If I had lost my Dragonlord gift when I died.” “Your Dragonlord power is yours, Merlin, a part of your soul,” Kilgharrah said with a toothy smile, “I missed you.” “I missed you too,” Merlin said, “I need to know if this is permanent. W ill I live now , or must I return to A valon?” “You will live, Merlin, you are once again needed in this world. Not only to protect Arthur but to help Gavin learn to use and control his magic.” “His magic…did it come from Merlin, because of what he did that day?” “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon said, “When Merlin’ s magic was released, it absorbed and transformed Mor gana’ s eclipsing her darkness, purifying her in a way , as she died. It healed you and I and as you know brought Sir Gwaine back from the dead. Gavin is a special child, for not only is he the son of the Once and Future King, who himself was born of magic, but he is the balance. For when Merlin died the world needed him to be that balance. T o keep magic alive in the world until such time that Merlin would return to guide him.” “Is that what happened during the Great Pur ge?” Arthur asked. “Yes, it resulted in rampant magic with no balance. That balance was Merlin. Born into the world to both contain and sustain the magic. He was born with magic as you were born of magic, two sides of the same coin.” “Balance,” Merlin said looking at Arthur intently . Kilgharrah nodded, “Y ou may have defied the prophecies, Y oung W arlock, but prophecy always finds a way in the end. Y ou altered the path, and they merely found a new route to the same destination.” Arthur smiled, “Then Merlin can stay…he’ s home for good?” “He is,” Kilgharrah nodded. “And my immortality?” Merlin asked. “That part of the prophecy no longer exists because Arthur did not die, and you have returned. So, that I cannot answer .” “Who can?” Arthur asked. “Perhaps you can summon the Goddess herself for answers,” Kilgharrah said. “Maybe one day , right now I am just glad to be alive and back with the people I love.” “Killy ,” Gavin giggled, and Arthur placed him on the ground. Kilgharrah chuckled and lowered his head. “I am so relieved to see you are safe, little prince.” “Thank you for all you did, Kilgharrah,” Arthur said, “I owe you a great debt.” “It is I who owed you a debt for the crimes I committed against Camelot long ago. I was blinded by rage and sought revenge against your father . I should never have attacked the innocent.” Arthur nodded, “Y ou helped the kingdom as well, Kilgharrah. And I cannot honestly say that, if I had been kept prisoner in that cavern for twenty years, I would not have done the same.” “Kilgharrah, do you know where Aithusa is? Is she alive?” Merlin asked. “She is alive, your magic healed her as well. She is no longer deformed and crippled and lives in the White Mountains.” “Does—does she hate me?” “No, Y oung W arlock, she could never hate you. Y ou brought her into the world…called her from her egg. Y ou are her Dragonlord.” “And I abandoned her ,” Merlin said his voice edged with regret and sadness. “Aithusa understands. I am certain if you call for her , she will come to you.” “Perhaps I will go to her one day ,” Merlin smiled. “I am certain she would be pleased to see you. For now , you need to focus on settling back into your life here in Camelot. Much has changed since you died. Y ou are needed.” “Thank you, Kilgharrah for everything,” Arthur nodded. “You are most welcome, Great King,” the dragon bowed, “I must go now . It is so good to have you back Merlin. Enjoy this life.” “I will,” Merlin smiled, and they watched as he launched into the air and circled overhead a few times before flying away . Then he turned to Arthur and laughed, “I think that is the first time I ever heard him give a straight answer . All I ever got before were riddles.” Arthur nodded, “W e spoke a lot after you died. He told me how much he regretted some of the decisions he made. That he should have told you everything from the beginning.” “I’m not certain it would have made a dif ference,” Merlin shook his head. “Are you ready to go home?” Arthur asked?” “Gods, yes,” Merlin grinned. “Pack up, men, let’ s get back to Camelot,” Arthur ordered. They rode into the square a few hours later and Merlin’ s eyes lit up as he saw his home for the first time in over three years. Arthur smiled as he watched him take it all in. The city and the lower town had expanded a great deal in the time he was gone. Much lar ger and nicer houses had replaced tiny hovels and huts. Gwen’ s house had been expanded and fixed up for Hunith because she felt more comfortable there than in the palace. Though she did have a room in Gavin’ s chambers. The people came out of their houses to greet their king and the young prince as they returned. They had all been devastated to hear that Gavin had been taken, they were relieved, and overjoyed to have him back home. But it was Merlin who created the most jubilation. Arthur grinned as the people began to notice him and started calling out his name. Merlin! Merlin has r eturned! Merlin! He is back! Merlin is home! “I don’ t understand…I didn’ t expect…” Merlin shook his head and looked at Arthur . “I promised to honor you and your sacrifices for me and for Camelot.” “You did,” Merlin’ s eyes narrowed, and his eyebrows raised, “What did you do?” “Well, it started with the celebration outside the walls after you died, people came from all around including royalty . Annis and Mithian and so many others who wanted to remember you and to honor your sacrifice and to say their goodbyes to a young man they had always known was special. I got to hear endless stories of people you had helped…people you had saved. It turned into a yearly celebration growing lar ger every time. Druids came here to tell the stories of the great Emrys,” Arthur smiled, “Y ou believed people would have for gotten about you, but Merlin, you touched far too many lives for that to happen. Y our people love you.” “My people,” Merlin said softly , shaking his head. “Your people, Merlin. They have held out hope for your return and now here you are,” Arthur grinned. “But I don’ t deserve…” “Yes, you do.” Riding up to the steps they dismounted. Merlin was immediately swarmed by people. Hunith came down the steps with Leon and they both froze seeing who was at the center of the commotion. “Merlin!” Hunith cried out and ran down the steps the crowd parted to let her through, “My God, Merlin! Y ou’re home!” she choked back tears as she threw her arms around his neck holding him so tight. Merlin had tears in his eyes rocking her gently . “Mother ,” he said, his voice breaking. “My beautiful boy ,” Hunith gasped cupping his cheek, “Y ou’re really here.” “I am, mother , I love you,” Merlin grinned then hugged her tighter . Arthur climbed the steps with Gavin in his arms and looked around at all the people. He smiled and called out over the crowd, “Please, give Merlin some time to adjust and to spend with his mother . I promise in the coming days we will have a celebration. Spread the word and join us in welcoming home Camelot’ s most beloved servant, friend, and warlock…as it was he who rescued Prince Gavin and returned him to me.” The people cheered and chanted Merlin’ s name as they patted his back and shoulder and slowly moved away leaving him standing with his mother his eyes wide and his mouth open in stunned silence uncertain what to say . “Merlin,” Arthur said then motioned for him and Hunith to follow . Leon met Merlin halfway up the steps, “Merlin…” “Sir Leon,” Merlin smiled. “It’s really you,” the knight said shaking his head then with a wide grin he embraced Merlin cupping the back of his head. “Thank the Gods, you were missed around here, brother .” “I wasn’ t expecting this reception,” Merlin chuckled, and Leon smiled. “Best prepare yourself then because there is more to come.” “He’ s right, Merlin,” Hunith beamed. “I guess I’m just not used to everyone knowing who I really am…what I’ve done.” Gwaine and Percival came up the steps behind them. Gwaine put an arm around Merlin, “And you said people wouldn’ t remember you.” “Come along,” Hunith said taking Gavin from Arthur , “Let’ s get you boys fed and this little one needs a bath and sleep.” “Thank you, Hunith,” Arthur said then kissed Gavin’ s head. “I need to go with Arthur first,” Merlin said. “Very well, it is so good to have you back.” “I love you, mother .” Arthur headed up the steps and Merlin followed him. He glanced back at Merlin and grinned. “What?” Merlin asked. “Nothing, just so damn happy ,” Arthur said then he grabbed the sleeve of Merlin’ s cloak and pulled him into the empty council chambers, and shut the door . “I know it is a lot and you are feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Merlin, I want…” Merlin silenced him with a deep kiss, his hands tugging Arthur closer . “Overwhelm me, please,” he said huskily , and Arthur deepened the kiss. “Gods, Merlin,” Arthur whispered against his lips. “You really want me,” Merlin said. “Yes…” Arthur moaned kissing him deeper and harder his hand sliding around to the back of Merlin’ s neck holding him there as he backed him up against the door . “Always, Merlin…” “Ah, Arthur ,” Merlin gasped tipping his head back and Arthur chuckled. “Sorry , I got a bit carried away .” “No, I started it,” he grinned. Arthur looked into his eyes, “Merlin, did you ever…were you ever with anyone?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “When did I have time? Besides, there was always only you, and if I couldn’ t have you then I didn’ t want anyone. I loved Freya, but that was doomed from the start.” “I’m so sorry ,” Arthur said pressing his forehead to Merlin’ s. Merlin smiled, “Don’ t be.” “I am going to do everything in my power to make it up to you, Merlin. I promise you.” “I understand if you don’ t want to be together in public.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, I want everyone to know what you mean to me. What you have always meant to me. I wish I had known how you felt about me.” “It wouldn’ t have mattered,” Merlin said. “I do know one thing,” Arthur said, “If I had known how you felt about me, I am not sure I could have resisted. I was always so afraid…scared that if I had approached you, you would give yourself to me out of duty only and nothing more. I could not bear to use you in such a way.” “Arthur , I am yours, I have always been yours,” Merlin grinned kissing him tenderly . “And I am yours, Merlin.” A knock on the door startled them and they laughed. Merlin stepped aside and Arthur opened the door and the room filled with the people of the court ready for their king to inform them of the events of the past couple of days. Arthur moved to the front of the room and told everyone what happened. “We should retaliate against King Alined,” one of the lords spoke up. “I have reason to believe that it was not King Alined, but his son, Prince Amren who orchestrated the kidnapping. He is bitter and angry that I now have dominion over the kingdom he is due to inherit once Alined is gone,” Arthur said. “As he sees it, his father signed away his birthright to me. In taking Gavin, I believe he wanted to force my hand and start a war . I will not give him the war he wants. I will send a messenger to Deorham to inform the king what his son has done and let him decide what shall be done. My son is safe thanks to Merlin,” Arthur smiled meeting Merlin’ s gaze then motioned for him to join him. Merlin held his head high as he moved to stand next to his king causing gasps and muttering from the court. “As you can see, Merlin has returned. He rescued Gavin and returned him to me. Y et again proving his love and loyalty to Camelot. There will be many changes in the upcoming days. You should all be aware that my relationship with Merlin has also changed. I love him deeply and he loves me.” The gasps of surprise and some of disgust came from the court and Arthur looked at them intently . “If any of you have a problem with that, I will be more than happy to relieve you of your position in this court.” “Your majesty , you married a servant, but this…Merlin is…” a man spoke up his voice trembling. “Merlin is what?” Arthur asked his eyes narrowing. “Merlin’ s a sorcerer and, Sire, he’ s a man…” “Thank you for pointing that out, Lord Bishop, I was not aware,” Arthur glared at him, and the others smiled awkwardly . Merlin had to stifle a laugh. “Merlin is also the other half of my soul. He has given everything for me and Camelot. From now on you will show him the same respect as you show me. I am your king. Do not for get that and do not question me again. I have hidden my feelings for Merlin out of duty for far too long. I love him and we are going to be together .” “Yes, My Lord,” Lord Bishop bowed, “I apologize, please for give me.” “Good,” Arthur grinned, “If that is all you are dismissed.” After they all left Merlin turned to Arthur and lost it. He laughed so hard, and Arthur joined in. “The look on his face,” Merlin chuckled nearly doubling over in laughter , “Like he was sucking on a pickled egg.” Arthur pulled Merlin close and kissed him, “It is good to hear you laugh like that again. I missed it. I missed seeing your smile.” “But Y our Majesty , I am a man,” Merlin deadpanned then busted up laughing again. “A very beautiful and intoxicating man,” Arthur said cupping his cheek. “Can I ask you something?” “Yes…anything.” “I cannot help but feel like us being together is disrespectful to Gwen. I feel like I am betraying her . Are you sure?” “Merlin, Guinevere knew…I told her . After you died, I told her what you meant to me. She already knew . I think she would be happy for us. I think she would want us to be together .” “You told her , and she wasn’ t upset?” “Not at all. She understood because a part of her would always love Lancelot the way part of me would always love you. She loved you too, Merlin.” Merlin nodded, tears in his eyes, “I am glad…I would never want. And Gavin…” “Gavin loved you even before he met you. I told him everything about you and our adventures together .” Merlin smiled, “Y ou did.” “Yes, I am required to tell him one of our stories before bed every night before he goes to sleep.” “Maybe I could tell him a story sometime.” “I guarantee he will be demanding just that.” “Can we really do this? Be together…be a family?” “Is that what you want?” Arthur asked softly and Merlin nodded. “More than anything.” “Then that is what you shall have.” “Um, I should see about sorting out the physician’ s chambers and my old room. And if you still want me to take over Geof frey’ s duties as well…the library probably needs cleaning and organizing. Then there is the secret room…” “Secret room?” Arthur asked raising an eyebrow . “Yeah, the room where I found and released the Goblin.” “Ah yes, I remember that all too well.” “There are magic books in there that need to be collected and cataloged.” Arthur smiled and placed a hand on Merlin’ s neck, “There is plenty of time for that. Y ou need to take a few days and settle in. As for your old room, you will not be needing it if you move into my chambers with me.” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want me to move into your chambers?” “When you are ready , yes,” Arthur blushed, “I mean if you want to. I don’ t want to push.” “Arthur , I want to, believe me, but for the sake of the kingdom perhaps we should ease them into this…what we are now . Some will not like that we are together .” “I guess you’re right,” Arthur said, “I should probably find a way to explain things to Gavin too before we go that far .” Merlin leaned in and kissed Arthur , “We need to tell my mother too.” “I didn’ t think about that,” Arthur shook his head, “Do you think she will object?” “I really don’ t know . I mean, I think she always knew that I had feelings for you, so that will not come as a surprise. But us actually acting on those feelings might.” “Merlin, as long as you know without a doubt that this is real and that I love you. No matter what anyone thinks about it, I do not care. I am tired of burying my feelings and denying myself the one person I need more than anyone.” “I will never doubt that…not now…not ever , Arthur .” Arthur kissed him deeply then nodded, “Y ou should go to your mother .” “I will find you later ,” Merlin smiled. “I should talk to my men,” Arthur nodded. “I’m sure Gwaine and Percival have already told them,” Merlin chuckled, “And I am fairly certain the castle gossip mill is in full swing.” “Yes, I used to hear things. People thought you and I were…that I was taking advantage of you back then. They assumed that just because I was not bedding every woman in the kingdom …” “I know , I heard the stories too,” Merlin chuckled, and Arthur looked at him. “Why didn’ t you ever say anything? I would have put a stop to it had I known. If my father had ever gotten wind of the rumors, he would have removed you from my service or worse. I thought my keeping quiet about it would make them stop.” Merlin smiled, “T o be honest, I did not mind. I never set them straight. I just let them think what they wanted to think and a part of me liked having them think that because people left me alone and I guess because I wanted it to be true. When I used to get you ready for bed at night, I used to wish you would ask me to stay . To take care of those needs for you.” Arthur nodded, “And I used to fight the ur ge to ask you to. W e were both stupid. W e could have been together back then.” “But then would you have married Gwen?” Merlin asked, “Y ou wouldn’ t have Gavin.” “I do not know what I would have done. Which is why I don’ t want to waste any more time, Merlin. As soon as you are ready and we tell everyone, I want you to move into my chambers and become my consort.” Merlin’ s eye widened, “That is quite of ficial.” “Yes, it is, and I want to make sure that you are protected in every way . No one will ever again treat you as less than you are, Merlin. I swear to you.” “I don’ t need anything of ficial, just to be with you.” “Yes, I know , but if anything should happen to me before Gavin is old enough. I want you to be protected and cared for . You will rule by my side in whatever capacity you wish, but I need to know that you are safe. Y ou have been through so much and lost so much because of me. And while I know I can never undo the damage or repay that debt; this is one way that I can at least begin to make amends.” “Arthur , you don’ t owe me anything,” Merlin said, tears in his eyes. “But I do, Merlin…and I am going to make sure you are loved and happy . “All right,” Merlin nodded then looked toward the door , “I should go now .” “Go,” Arthur kissed him and then watched as he left the room a soft smile on his face. “There you are, my boy ,” Hunith said as Merlin came through the door of the physician’ s chambers his eyes taking in the room. “I kept it as Gaius had it just in case you returned and wanted to take over .” “I missed this place so much,” Merlin smiled, his eyes brimming with tears, “I left Gaius.” “Merlin, Gaius loved you,” Hunith said, “Losing you broke his heart, but he understood. He missed you so much, but he told me that it did not surprise him that you chose to sacrifice yourself for Arthur . That it was your destiny , no matter the cost, to make sure Arthur lived.” “He’ s my friend, I could not let him die. He had to live.” “Merlin, I am your mother . I know you are in love with Arthur , you have been since the beginning. And seeing you two together this morning…I am not blind. Arthur loves you too.” Merlin smiled, “W e are um…” “I know and I am pleased,” Hunith laughed and embraced him, “Now sit down and eat. T ell your old mum everything. Starting with that father of yours. I am sorry I kept the truth from you about Balinor , Merlin…I just thought it would be safer for you. W e loved each other deeply and it hurt him so much to leave me.” “I know ,” Merlin nodded. “How is he? I mean other than the obvious.” “He is at peace, he helped me so much. I am so proud of him. Honored to be his son.” “And I am certain he is as proud of you as I am.” “Mother , are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am just happy to have my son back.” “I am glad you stayed in Camelot.” Hunith nodded, “I could not leave Arthur with a baby boy to raise. Losing Gwen was devastating for him.” Merlin rested his arms on the table as his mother placed a plate in front of him. “His own mother died giving birth to him…history repeating itself. I wish I had been able to save them both.” “What do you mean?” Hunith asked her brow creasing. “I sensed Arthur ’s despair and fear . I begged the Goddess to save them. She forced me to choose…Gwen or the baby…I chose the baby . When Gwen crossed over to A valon, I told her what happened and she was grateful, but I still feel like I should have done more.” “Well, as a mother , I can assure you that the life of her son was all that mattered to Guinevere.” “I just feel guilty .” “Have you told Arthur?” “Not yet. I need to. I’m not sure how .” “I am certain that he will feel the same as the queen. Gavin is his son and his heir . He dotes on that boy , and never fails to be there when he goes to bed so he can tell him a story and kiss him good night. Arthur is always telling him how proud he is of him.” “That is because Uther never gave Arthur the love and support that he needed and deserved. I think, deep down, he blamed Arthur for Ygraine’ s death when it was his doing. He used magic and when the price was her life, he lashed out at everyone and everything with magic instead of facing up to his own guilt. Arthur suf fered his entire life trying to please that man and he is determined that Gavin never feels the way he did.” “Arthur is a wonderful father ,” Hunith smiled, “And I think you will be as well.” “Me?” “Yes, Merlin, if you are going to be with Arthur , you will be Gavin’ s father as well.” Merlin smiled, “I guess I hadn’ t thought of it that way .” “It is good that Arthur told him all about you the last three years.” “I know I will need to help him with his magic. Kilgharrah said that his magic came from me. I don’ t quite understand how exactly . But when my magic was released, it healed him and Arthur and brought Gwaine back to life and somehow found its way to Gavin when Gwen was pregnant with him.” “That makes sense,” Hunith nodded as she began to eat, “Gwen did tell me that the day before Arthur returned to Camelot, she had a dream. She said she felt something, a calming warmth wash over her and she just knew that Arthur was alive.” Merlin picked at his food and shook his head, “I am grateful to be back. I just hope it isn’ t because of some impending doom. I just want to live here with you, Arthur and Gavin, and our friends. T o not have to fight anymore.” “Magic is legal now , there have been no magical attacks in years.” “And we have Alined’ s son trying to start a war and using Gavin to do it.” “I am fairly certain that when word gets out that you are back at Arthur ’s side, he will rethink his plans. He had little chance of beating Arthur before, with you here now…the enemies of Camelot will not dare to challenge him.” “I hope you’re right.” “So, are you going to take over for Gaius?” Merlin nodded, “And Geof frey.” “Really?” “Arthur doesn’ t need a servant anymore. I need to do my part in bringing back magic. Educating people and allaying their fears and prejudices against those with magic. Arthur asked me to write my own books to add to the library and I plan to collect all the surviving books and such that still exist in the secret room. This is what I was always meant to do and now I am back I can fulfill this part of the prophecy .” “I will be happy to assist you here,” Hunith said. “I would love that.” “I assume you will be moving into Arthur ’s chambers?” she asked with a knowing smile. Merlin chuckled and nodded, “He asked me to. I wanted to tell you first. And we need to give people time to adjust to the idea that their king is in love with his warlock.” “Merlin, don’ t you dare let anyone else keep you from the man you love.” “Mother , it is not that simple?” “Isn’ t it?” Hunith asked raising an eyebrow , “You nearly lost each other forever . Do you really plan to let what others think keep you apart just because a few might get upset? Arthur loves you and he wants to be with you. Do not waste a single second of this new life, Merlin.” “I won’ t,” Merlin smiled. “I really need to find some clothes. I stole these from a village after the Lake of A valon spit me out naked and disoriented.” “Then it is a good thing that Gaius and I kept all your belongings. Y ou will find everything in your old room. Including your magic book and the Sidhe staf f and whatever else you had hidden beneath the floorboards.” “Really?” Merlin asked, “Why was everyone so certain that I would return?” “We had faith Merlin, because to believe anything else was too painful. Arthur believed more than anyone. He would visit the lake often and speak with Kilgharrah on a regular basis. He was convinced that one day you would return.” “I didn’ t know ,” Merlin said. “The man loves you.” “Arthur said that he told Gwen, after I died, he told her what I meant to him.” “Yes, Gwen and I talked about it. She adored you, Merlin. She was so grateful to have Arthur alive and well and the kingdom was safe from Mor gana at last. She knew you loved Arthur and that he loved you.” “I am really scared that if I accept that this is all real, that I can finally have Arthur…” “You’re afraid something will happen to take it all away .” “Yes.” “Then all the more reason to live in the present, my boy .” “You’re right.” “Of course, I am,” Hunith beamed, “Now finish your food and go find your king.” “I am really glad you’re here,” Merlin smiled. “Nowhere I would rather be. Before you go, you should clean up and change your clothes.” “Wish I had a tub. I could really use a bath.” “There’ s one in your room,” Hunith smiled, “Arthur had it brought in here for me before I moved to Gwen’ s old house. Should I have water brought in?” Merlin grinned, “I think I can handle it.” “Good,” Hunith got up wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek, “I do love you, my boy . I need to take some salve to Evoric then I am going home for the evening. Give Arthur my love.” “Yes, mother ,” Merlin chuckled. “See you tomorrow ,” Hunith laughed then left the room closing the door behind her . Merlin got up cleaned their plates with a word then moved about the room touching every surface, inhaling the familiar scent of herbs and woodsmoke. T ears came to his eyes as he remembered Gaius, his snoring, and the eyebrow that struck fear in the strongest knight. “Gods, I miss you, old friend,” Merlin said softly , trailing his fingers along the stone hearth. He moved a chest from the table to the shelf where it had always been. He looked around then headed up the steps to his old room pushing the door open to find it just as he had left it except for the lar ge oval wooden tub by the wall. He tilted his head holding out a hand and the tub filled with steaming hot water and all the candles in the room flared to life casting a golden glow around the walls of the room he never thought he would see again. Opening the cupboard, he found his clothes clean and folded. His neckerchiefs and belts and his favorite brown jacket and two pairs of his boots. Hanging up on hooks were three brand- new tunics, blue, purple, and red. There were two new pairs of trousers dark blue and black, and a new pair of black boots. “Arthur ,” he smiled, “Y ou really did believe I would return.” Stripping of f his clothes and boots he slipped into the water with a deep sigh and closed his eyes. He felt a rush of emotions…grief, longing, pain, anguish…like sliding into a pit so deep and dark he could easily get lost in it. Then there was love, like a beacon, shining bright and clear showing him the way back out. His shoulders trembled, tears sliding down his face as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyelids. Arthur climbed the steps to Merlin’ s old room, he stopped at the door as he heard Merlin’ s quiet sobs. He splayed his hand against the wood not sure whether to intrude or to walk away . Shaking his head, he let out a breath and pushed the door open. He saw Merlin in the tub, head down. He closed the door and crossed the floor to kneel next to the tub. “Merlin,” he whispered placing a hand on the back of his head then gently caressed his neck, “Merlin, you are home…you’re here with me. Everything is going to be all right.” Arthur leaned forward pressing his lips to the back of Merlin’ s shoulder . It scared him to no end to see him like this, so broken and vulnerable. “Merlin, look at me, please,” he said, and Merlin turned his head, his eyes wide and dark with pain. “Arthur ,” he said. “I’m sorry ,” Arthur said brushing his thumb over the sensitive place behind Merlin’ s ear. Merlin shook his head, “I just…everything just hit me…” “I know , believe me…I’ve had many of those moments in the last few years. I understand.” “I mean, I am so grateful to be home…” “But you feel overwhelmed by all that you have lost.” Merlin nodded, “And I’m really scared, Arthur…that all this…that we…” He shook his head then leaned back, resting it on the edge of the tub. “Me too,” Arthur said then leaned over to grab the washcloth and soap. He slowly and tenderly began to wash the dirt and grime from Merlin’ s neck and chest. “Just lie back, I’m going to look after you for a change.” “You don’ t have to,” Merlin shook his head. “Yes, I do,” Arthur said as he raised Merlin’ s right arm out of the water easing the soap and cloth over his pale skin and lean muscles wrapping a hand around his slender wrist as he washed his long fingers and palm before pressing his lips to the center of it. “Y ou took care of me, but you had no one to take care of you. That changes now .” “Arthur…” “Shh, close your eyes and just let me do this, Merlin,” Arthur said then took hold of his left arm repeating the motions. He leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s chest. The scars that Merlin used to have were gone…where there had once been raised white jagged ridges of flesh, was now smooth pale white skin. “This is strange,” Merlin gave a husky moan as Arthur ’s hand slid down his stomach to his hip and down his thigh to his knee lifting it from the water to wash it. He repeated the motion with the other leg and Merlin let out a shaky breath and an even deeper moan. “Feel good, does it?” Arthur asked with a crooked grin. “It’s not unpleasant,” Merlin trembled and let out a gasp as his king slid a hand up his inner thigh hesitating just a moment before going further , slowly wrapping around his fully hard cock. “Arthur!” he growled, and Arthur laughed softly . “Finally ,” he said slowly stroking Merlin as he leaned over and kissed him. “Gods, Arthur…” “You are much bigger than I imagined,” Arthur said against his lips. “You imagined my…” Merlin’ s laugh was cut of f by a guttural groan of pleasure as Arthur ’s thumb and forefinger wrapped around the head. “Arthur…oh, that…don’ t stop, please. Gods, that feels so good.” “I have no intention of stopping,” Arthur said kissing him deeper , his tongue asking for and gaining entrance to Merlin’ s warm wet mouth, their tongues moving together as he pleasured him with his sword-callused hand. “I’m going to make you come for me.” “Arthur…I’m so close,” Merlin panted arching into the king’ s grip as he stroked his full length. He wanted it to last, he struggled to hold back, but it just felt too good. It wasn’ t just anyone touching him so intimately , it was Arthur…his Arthur . “Don’ t hold back, Merlin, just let go. I want you to.” Merlin tilted his head back and cried out Arthur ’s name. His chest heaving his hands gripping the edge of the tub as his lips parted and he shuddered violently as he came, spilling his seed in the bathwater . His eyes closed tightly; he bit down on his bottom lip. “Feel better?” Arthur asked as he nuzzled his neck and kissed the spot behind his ear while lazily stroking his cock. “Oh, yes,” Merlin gasped still quivering, the muscles in his stomach and thighs clenching and releasing with the force of his release. Arthur got to his feet and then leaned over to kiss him. “I’ll leave you to finish. Get dressed and join me in my chambers for dinner .” Merlin opened his eyes noticing the obvious bulge in Arthur ’s trousers. “But you need…” “Later , Merlin,” he said then tenderly washed his face and smiled. “W ear the purple one,” he said then kissed Merlin deeply before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Merlin huf fed a laugh then quickly finished washing and got out of the tub to dry of f and dress. He put on the black trousers and purple tunic then slipped on the new black boots. He gave up on his hair leaving it wet and messy then headed for Arthur ’s chambers. Just as he approached the door it opened, and he found himself face to face with Geor ge who looked at him at first with surprise then a tight smile. “Merlin, welcome home,” he said stif fly then with a bow he moved past him and down the corridor . “Are you just going to stand there with your mouth open?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Did Geor ge just bow to me?” “Get used to it, Merlin, you’re not a servant anymore.” “I’ll always be your servant, Arthur . Nice clothes and a title won’ t change that,” Merlin chuckled as he walked in and closed the door . “Lock it, I don’ t want to be disturbed,” Arthur wagged an eyebrow and Merlin laughed slipping the lock into place then moved toward the table where there was a veritable feast laid out for the two of them. “Um, Arthur…what you did for me back in my room…” Arthur closed the distance between them and kissed him, “That’ s just a taste of what I have in store for you, Merlin.” He looked down taking in his appearance and shook his head, “I always did love you in purple.” “I can’ t believe you had new clothes waiting for me. Y ou really had faith that I would return.” “I did,” Arthur kissed him again, “I had to keep the faith or go mad with grief.” Merlin shook his head, “I never considered how much my death would af fect you. I never meant to bring you so much pain.” “It doesn’ t matter now , you are back. Now sit down with me and eat,” Arthur motioned toward the table and Merlin sat down in the chair while Arthur took the one across from him and poured the wine. The king looked at him his blue eyes filled with concern. “Merlin, is there something bothering you?” “There are things I need to tell you, but I’m not sure how .” “I thought we were beyond secrets,” Arthur said, raising an eyebrow . “Come on, out with it.” “Well, first, I met your mother . She was beautiful and so sweet. W e talked about you and I told her everything. She is so proud of you, Arthur . She loves you so much. She also told me everything your father did.” “So, what she told me was true?” Merlin nodded, “I lied to you back then and I’m sorry . I thought I was doing the right thing.” “You did the right thing, Merlin. It’ s all right. Thank you for telling me. It feels good knowing mother is proud of me. That’ s not all though is it?” Merlin tore of f a piece of bread and a hunk of meat then shook his head. “When I was in Avalon, the night of Gavin’ s birth, I sensed your fear , your despair , and Gwen’ s pain.” Arthur stopped eating and took a drink of wine. “Y ou did?” Merlin nodded, “I used magic to look in on you and I saw everything. I begged the Goddess to save Gwen and the baby . I told her I would do anything.” “Merlin, what did you do?” Arthur asked warily . “I wanted to save them both, Arthur ,” Merlin’ s eyes filled with tears. “The Goddess…she forced me to choose. She said I could save the queen or the child, that if I didn’ t choose, they would both die. I—I chose to save Gavin. I let Gwen die. I’m so sorry , Arthur…if I could have saved her…” Arthur stared at Merlin, his eyes wide and dark. Merlin dropped his gaze to his hands and stilled, not daring to breathe, waiting for his king’ s wrath. When it didn’ t come, he dared to look up and Arthur was shaking his head. He slammed his fists down on the arms of his chair making Merlin flinch. “I—I’m so sorry ,” he choked on the words then slid his chair back getting ready to leave the room. “Where are you going?” Arthur asked, his voice hard. “I understand why you’re angry , I don’ t blame you,” Merlin said, “I’ll just go.” “Merlin,” Arthur said then got up walking around the table to grip his forearms, “I am not angry at you. No one should be forced to make such a choice. No one. I am so sorry the Goddess did that to you. It wasn’ t fair.” “But Gwen,” Merlin said, quickly averting his gaze. “Merlin, listen to me,” Arthur cupped his chin lifting his eyes again, “What she made you do was cruel. I am not angry at you; I am angry at what she did to you. T o be forced to choose between your dearest friend and the life of her baby .” “When I said that I felt like I was betraying Gwen, this is why . I can’ t help but wonder what she would think of my being here…” Merlin swallowed hard, “I saw her in A valon, and I told her what happened. She told me I made the right choice, and that the life of her child was all that mattered to her . But now I am here, and she isn’ t…” “Merlin, you know my mother died giving birth to me. Guinevere and I talked about it at length. She told me that if anything were to go wrong that she would gladly die to save our baby . You made the right choice. Guinevere loved Gavin with all that she was. She would not have wanted to live if he had died. It was not fair that you were put in that position, but I love my son more than life and I am grateful. It was so hard to lose her , but if I had lost them both…” “I couldn’ t let you lose them both,” Merlin said softly , shaking his head. “Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur said then drew him into his arms and kissed him, “I don’ t want you to feel like your being here is a betrayal to Guinevere. Please, let it go.” “I’ll try ,” he nodded. “Good,” Arthur cupped his cheek, “Now sit and eat.” They returned to the table eating in silence for a while until Arthur pushed his chair back and went to look out the windows. Folding his arms across his chest. Merlin watched him for a moment, he knew that look, Arthur was thinking. “Arthur?” he asked. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “For what?” “From the moment we met I treated you horribly . I took you for granted and I expected far more from you than any servant before you. I dragged you into dangerous situations that, as a servant, you had no business being in. Merlin, I put you at risk time and time again, for purely selfish reasons…because I couldn’ t bear to be apart from you. I needed you like I needed air to breathe. I think I knew even then that I loved you and because of that kept you at arm’ s length not allowing myself to admit to those feelings. I thought if I could pretend, they didn’ t exist I would be able to love someone else and no one would ever have to know that I was completely in love with my manservant. I think my father began to suspect something was going on when I chose to go after the Mortaeus flower to save your life. So, I had to be even more careful, because if he ever found out the truth he would have either banished or executed you.” Merlin remained silent sensing that Arthur needed to get his feelings out. “When you went missing after the rockfall, which I assume you caused to protect me, I was lost. All I could think about was that you were out there somewhere in danger and that I never told you what you meant to me. When you told me about your magic, I reacted badly . I was hurt and angry because you lied to me, and you didn’ t trust me with such a huge part of who you are. But then I realized that I never gave you any reason to. How many times did I tell you to your face that magic was pure evil, that it corrupted people? I belittled you and treated you like a fool. Y ou watched me follow my father ’s orders like a mindless attack dog. Y ou had every reason in the world to keep your secret from me.” “Arthur , if I could go back, I would tell you in the beginning. I wanted you to know . I nearly told you that day in Ealdor…if Mor gana hadn’ t walked in to tell us Kanen and his men had crossed the river , I would have.” Arthur nodded, “I know that now , but Merlin, I am not sure what I would have done back then. I cannot say for certain that I wouldn’ t have left you in Ealdor or turned you over to my father .” “Still, I should have trusted you.” “I know I told you that the past doesn’ t matter anymore, but it does. I cannot make up for the way I treated you and I cannot make up for all the pain and loss you suf fered because of me. Will, Freya, your father…and then you died for me.” “And I told you I would do it all over again,” Merlin said then got up from his chair going to stand in front of his king. “I love you, Arthur . I want to be with you. W e both made mistakes, but we are here now , and I don’ t want to keep things from you anymore. I want no barriers between us.” Arthur smiled and kissed him, “I want to love you the way you deserve.” “We can start right now ,” Merlin grinned then deepened the kiss. “Clothes are definitely a barrier ,” Arthur growled against his lips. “Yes, they are.” “I missed you undressing me.” “I may be out of practice,” Merlin chuckled staring into Arthur ’s eyes. “I’m sure it will all come back to you.” “Hmm, yes,” Merlin smiled backing Arthur toward the bed, tugging at the laces of Arthur ’s trousers, “I can’ t stop thinking about what happened in my room earlier . Seeing you hard for me.” “It’s not the first time,” Arthur grinned kissing Merlin harder . “You asked me if I have been with anyone, were you ever with anyone other than Gwen?” “When I was younger before you came to Camelot. I was with a woman once and experimented with fellow knights, but nothing like what I want to do with you.” “Really?” Merlin asked with a smirk. “Merlin, I want your mouth on me, please,” Arthur said with a hitch in his voice, “So many times I imagined those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock.” “Yes, Sire,” Merlin smiled dropping to his knees. He hooked his fingers beneath the waist of Arthur ’s trousers drawing them down freeing his engor ged cock. He let out a long, drawn- out moan as Merlin licked the full length from base to tip before swallowing him down licking and sucking and stroking him mercilessly until Arthur ’s knees were trembling. “Gods, Merlin,” Arthur gasped tangling his fingers in Merlin’ s dark hair , “It’s even better than I imagined. Y our mouth…” His hips stuttered as the head of his cock hit the back of Merlin’ s throat and he sucked in his cheeks. “Oh, yes…Merlin, so good.” Merlin drew back looking up at Arthur with such absolute love and desire. “Arthur , I want you to take me…please.” “Yes, Merlin…I want to,” Arthur said drawing him up to his feet and kissing him hard and deep. He pulled Merlin’ s tunic of f and removed his trousers after he kicked of f his boots. He stood before his king fully naked, his beautiful pale skin begging to be touched and kissed and marked by Arthur…claimed at last. “Arthur ,” his eyes flashed gold and he kissed him, “I’m ready please…” Arthur kicked of f his own trousers and tunic then eased Merlin back against the bed. “Y ou’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he kissed him. Merlin laid back on the bed and Arthur moved between his parted thighs his fingers finding him slick and open for him. He let out a low moan and pressed the head of his cock against his entrance biting down on his bottom lip as he struggled to slow down, to keep himself from the edge. Merlin kissed him passionately wrapping his long legs around Arthur . “Now , please, Arthur ,” he whispered huskily , “I need you inside me.” “I don’ t want to hurt you.” “You won’ t,” Merlin panted, “Please, I have waited so long.” Arthur kissed him full on the lips then dragged one hand down to Merlin’ s heavy cock stroking him slowly as he drove his hips forward into Merlin, groaning as the wet heat of his body enveloped him. “Oh, God,” Arthur whispered, “Y ou feel so good.” “Arthur , yes, please…” Arthur thrust into Merlin hard and deep and fast completely losing himself in the intensity of the joining of their bodies. It was even more incredible than he ever could have imagined. “Merlin, you’re mine at last…I love you,” he gasped. “I love you too,” Merlin breathed out throwing his head back, his eyes closed, and lips parted in a wordless cry of sheer pleasure. Arthur ’s cock filled him so completely , awakening his body in ways he never dreamed possible. His magic wrapped around them, and he laughed breathlessly as he felt it caressing Arthur ’s body and his king’ s eyes opened wide in surprise. “That feels strange,” Arthur moaned feeling Merlin’ s magic brushing over his skin like a thousand butterflies. “Incredible,” he gasped. Arthur pulled out of Merlin earning him a whine of protest. He moved onto the bed and laid down. Merlin moved on top of him immediately impaling himself on Arthur ’s cock once again. Arthur slid his hands over his shoulders and down his back to cup his arse while he rode him slowly , reveling in every movement. “Merlin…I’m close, so close.” “Touch me, Arthur ,” Merlin moaned as he rotated his hips and bore down on Arthur fully and his hand wrapped around Merlin’ s cock stroking him. “Y es, so good,” he gasped. “Merlin, now ,” Arthur moaned arching up into him as he spilled his seed deep inside him at last and Merlin followed him over the edge coating his hand in his own come. “Arthur…holy hell,” Merlin shuddered and trembled on top of him. “That was incredible,” Arthur laughed breathlessly . “Gods, why did we wait so long?” Merlin asked. “We were clearly idiots.” Easing of f Arthur , Merlin laid down next to him and they kissed. Chests pressed together , skin glistening with sweat. “I love you,” Merlin smiled. “I love you, Merlin,” Arthur grinned his thumb stroking his cheek and gliding across his bottom lip. “Always. Stay the night with me.” “I think I can be persuaded,” Merlin grinned kissing him lazily as they clung to each other . Arthur brought his hand up and removed his silver ring sliding it onto Merlin’ s finger bringing tears to his eyes. “Arthur , I can’ t…” “You can, Merlin. I want everyone to know what we are to each other now . Wear it always.” “But it was your mother ’s.” “And she would want you to have it.” “Are you sure?” “Yes,” Arthur kissed him. “Thank you,” Merlin smiled kissing him back. “Are you tired?” Arthur asked. “Not really .” “Feel like going to the tavern?” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want to go to the tavern?” “I think we should go. Gwaine and the others are there tonight. I know they want to welcome you home too.” “What about Gavin’ s story time?” “Already taken care of. The poor little one was exhausted. He was out before I got to the bit about the unicorn.” “In that case, let’ s go to the tavern,” Merlin grinned. Arthur kissed him then they got out of bed cleaned up and got dressed. Merlin’ s hair was all over the place and Arthur laughed trying to tame it to no avail. “I think you may need a little magic for this,” Arthur smiled, “Y ou walk in looking like that and they will know exactly what we have been up to.” “I thought you wanted everyone to know ,” Merlin grinned. “I want them to know we are together but what we do in our bedroom is none of their business,” Arthur said kissing him. “Y ou know Gwaine…” “Ah yes, I do,” Merlin smiled then with a word his magic smoothed his hair . “Better?” “I shall look forward to messing it up again later ,” Arthur said huskily then pulled him close, “You are beautiful, Merlin.” “Am I really?” “Gods, yes, absolutely ethereally so.” “I still can’ t quite believe this is happening.” “We just made love,” Arthur grinned, “And if we don’ t get going, I am going to mess up that hair right now .” Merlin laughed then headed for the door and unlocked it. They left Arthur ’s chambers heading down the corridor out of the castle and toward the lower town. The Rising Sun was full of people when they entered. Musicians were playing in the corner and there were couples dancing. Gwaine spotted them immediately and waved them over . “Didn’ t expect to see you two tonight,” he winked, and Arthur gave him a stern look, though his eyes were filled with amusement. “I figured you all would want to welcome Merlin home,” he smirked. “Aye that we do,” Gwaine said embracing Merlin, “Y ou look really good, old friend. Happy .” “I am,” Merlin smiled shyly lowering his head for a moment, “It feels good to be back.” “Look at you,” Leon said, “All dressed up.” The knight embraced Merlin. “It is good to see you.” “Merlin,” Percival said placing a big hand on his shoulder , “Welcome home, you were missed.” “Thank you,” Merlin smiled then followed Arthur to a bench on the other side of the long table where the knights were sitting. They sat down and Evoric brought them tankards of mead. “Merlin, dear boy , it is so good to see you again,” he said, “W elcome back.” “Good to see you too, Evoric,” Merlin grinned, “How’ s Greta and the kids?” “Greta is well, she is visiting her sister in Brenwell, she will be delighted to see you. The kids have all grown and moved away , but they are doing well. James will be moving home to take over the tavern in a few months I am getting too old for this. I must get back to my patrons. Again, welcome back, Merlin.” Arthur leaned close linking their fingers together . “Are you all right? If it is too overwhelming we can go.” “No, I want to stay ,” Merlin said. “Good,” Arthur smiled then kissed him earning them a series of whistles and cheers from the knights. They both rolled their eyes and smiled. “It’s about time,” Leon chuckled, and Arthur looked at his old friend and first knight. “What are you on about?” he asked him. “Poetry ,” Leon grinned. “Right,” Arthur nodded, and Merlin laughed, his blue eyes wide and filled with mirth. It was so good to see Merlin happy and alive. His heart swelled with love and quietness even in the midst of the gaiety . The other half of his soul was back where he belonged, and he would never let anything come between them again. “I love you.” Merlin kissed him, “I love you too.” Two hours, many more tankards of mead, and a lot of celebrating later , the two of them and Gwaine made their way back to the castle. The three of them were laughing and shoving each other playfully . “Gwaine…you’re drunk,” Arthur said, only slightly slurring his words. “So are you, My Lord,” Gwaine chuckled, “Good thing Merlin is still somewhat sober , or we would be sleeping in the upstairs room again.” “You two slept in the inn?” Merlin asked. “Yep, after you…we got drunk. Percival and Leon had to practically carry us upstairs,” Arthur grinned. “It’ s not appropriate for a king to get drunk in public…but I am so happy tonight. I have you back,” he said stopping to pull Merlin into his arms for a deep kiss. Gwaine laughed, “Y ou’re worried about getting drunk in public and you’re making out with Merlin in the street.” “Shut up, Gwaine,” Merlin grinned kissing Arthur back. “I’ll leave you two be,” Gwaine laughed then headed for his chambers. “Good night, Gwaine,” Arthur chuckled. “Good night, My Lord…good night, Merlin.” Arthur laughed, “Maybe we should take this back to my chambers.” “I have a better idea,” Merlin grinned then took his hand leading Arthur through a door and into the castle. He pulled him into a short corridor and through a door into a stairwell that led up to the tower . They stumbled through a door and into a round room at the top of the tower its windows overlooking the whole city bathed in moonlight. “I haven’ t been up here since I was a child,” Arthur smiled, “I used to love this room.” “I would come here often to think, to practice magic,” Merlin said leaning on the windowsill taking in the view . Arthur stared at him intently and shook his head. “It must have been so lonely , so isolating…being forced to hide who you were.” “It was, but I don’ t have to anymore,” Merlin turned to meet his gaze, his smile bright and open. Arthur moved closer wrapping his arms around him, “Never again, Merlin…never again.” He kissed him deeply then went down on his knees his fingers quickly freeing Merlin’ s half- hard cock swallowing him down. Merlin moaned loudly , one hand on the windowsill and the other on his king’ s head, his fingers tugging at his hair as his mouth devoured his full length. “Arthur , Gods, feels so good,” he gasped tilting his head back, lips parted. “Merlin,” Arthur whispered looking up at him with wild eyes reveling in the feel of Merlin, the taste of Merlin. “Arthur , your mouth,” he breathed out, chest heaving, as he resisted the ur ge to thrust into that wet heat. “My Lord…Sire…Gods, please…” He leaned back against the stone, his knees trembling. “Arthur , I’m close…” Arthur moaned around him and sucked in his cheeks his tongue curling around Merlin’ s cock and a moment later he came with a violent shudder spilling his seed in the mouth of his sovereign. His knees gave out and he collapsed in Arthur ’s arms holding on to him like a lifeline. “Merlin,” Arthur said with a breathless laugh, “Are you all right?” “Ask me that when I can remember my name,” Merlin chuckled. “I love making you come,” Arthur whispered in his ear , “The look of utter bliss on your face…and your eyes…they turn gold for just a moment when you reach the threshold.” “Do they?” Merlin asked with a grin as he looked into Arthur ’s eyes. “Yes, it’ s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Absolutely stunning.” “I’ve never felt like this, Arthur…all my life I was never able to truly be myself with anyone.” “I’m glad you can now…with me,” Arthur smiled kissing him tenderly . Merlin’ s hand stroked the length of Arthur ’s hard shaft through his trousers as they kissed. “Shall I return the favor , Sire?” he asked with a grin. “Stand up,” Arthur said, and Merlin got to his feet. Arthur followed suit and unlaced his trousers. “T urn around and lean on the windowsill.” Merlin obeyed looking back over his shoulder as Arthur ran his hands over the soft flesh of his arse his fingers delving inside him. “Arthur ,” Merlin moaned pressing back against those fingers as he worked him open with only a little aid from magic. “Hold on to something,” Arthur grinned then pulled his fingers out freeing his cock, and stepped forward thrusting into Merlin in one smooth motion, burying himself inside to the hilt. Merlin let out a cry of pleasure his fingers gripping the stone as Arthur rolled his hips making him shiver from head to toe. “Gods, you feel good, Merlin.” “Arthur…” Merlin moaned as they moved together both breathing hard and desperate for more, needing to get closer , to mer ge their bodies and souls for eternity . “Harder , please,” Merlin gasped thrusting back against his king the head of his cock brushing against the spot inside him that made him see stars and his knees go weak. “I love you,” Arthur growled pounding into Merlin harder and faster until he spilled inside him with such force that he swore he nearly lost consciousness. “Gods, Merlin…” Merlin could not speak, he was so lost in the moment, the ecstasy of release. He barely touched himself and he was coming, spilling his seed over his hand. He pressed his forehead to the cool of the stone wall and Arthur curled around him. “Never like this with anyone else,” Arthur whispered against the back of his head, “Only you, Merlin…only you.” “Arthur ,” Merlin said breathlessly . “Are you all right? I didn’ t hurt you did I?” “Oh, I am good…amazing in fact,” Merlin said leaning back into his arms. “I wonder if I can let Leon run the kingdom for a week or two and we can stay in my chambers and make love over and over .” Merlin laughed, “As brilliant as that would be, I’m not sure it would be a good idea. People will think I enchanted you or something to distract you from your duties.” “You are a wonderful distraction,” Arthur kissed him. “Come on, it is getting cold up here,” Merlin said, “Let’ s go back to your chambers.” They righted their clothing smoothed down their hair and headed back down the spiral staircase. W alking hand in hand down the corridor of the silent palace. This is how it was always meant to be. This was their destiny realized. “Merlin,” Arthur said as they reached the door of his room. “Yeah?” Merlin asked. “I am not sure what I will need to do to make it possible under the laws of Camelot, but I want you to be mine in every way . I want to marry you. If you will have me.” Merlin’ s eyes went wide and bright, “Arthur…” “Merlin, will you marry me?” Arthur asked taking hold of both hands, his thumb tracing the silver ring on his finger . “Please, I love you and I want you to be my husband.” “Yes,” Merlin said tears shining in his eyes, “Y es, Arthur , I will marry you. If that is even possible.” Arthur sur ged forward and kissed him deeply , “I will do whatever it takes to make it happen.” “If not then perhaps we can be bound in other ways,” Merlin smiled. Arthur kissed him deeply and then opened the door . They went inside and Merlin closed and locked the door again. He poured them some wine and started the fire in the hearth to ward off the chill of the room while Arthur cleaned up and got ready for bed. Merlin watched him with a crooked grin on his face as he washed and undressed. “What?” Arthur asked when he noticed. “You really have learned to do things for yourself.” “I can unlearn if you prefer ,” Arthur grinned. “Actually , I kind of like this new independent you,” Merlin said as he closed the distance between them and pulled of f his tunic and boots. “Do you now?” “Mmm, yes, it’ s really kind of nice to not have to worry about chores. I can focus on much more rewarding endeavors.” “Please do,” Arthur smirked as Merlin kissed his neck and shoulder . “Yes, My Lord,” he said then kissed him full on the mouth. The New Prophecy Merlin sat on the floor in the secret room of the library surrounded by piles of magic books sorted by the type of magic they contained and subject matter . He was surprised that so many had survived Uther ’s pur ge and suspected that Geof frey had kept them in this room on purpose. There’ s no way the man did not know this room existed. His suspicions were confirmed when he found a book, more of a record. It was in the old librarian’ s handwriting the dates listed were all after the start of the Great Pur ge. It listed the books that had been destroyed. Merlin smiled, Geof frey had been working behind Uther ’s back to protect materials that were rare and that he could not bear to see lost forever . Getting to his feet, Merlin walked over to a long shelf, he waved a hand banishing the layers of dust and cobwebs then his eyes flashed gold and each shelf was engraved with magic runes that would protect the books from everything from fire to flood. He then arranged them on the newly cleaned shelves. “Merlin!” Merlin turned around grinning at the sound of Gavin’ s voice. He walked to the panel, pushed it open, and stepped through into the main library . “Merlin, there you are,” Gavin smiled running to him. “Hello, what are you doing here, little one?” “Hunith brought me.” Just then Hunith came around the corner . “There you are, young man, you are getting too fast for me,” she laughed. “Merlin, you’re covered in dust, what are you doing in here?” “Cleaning the secret room, or ganizing the magic books that were hidden in there. I am taking over for Geof frey.” “Aren’ t you taking on too much, so soon?” she asked, “Physician and librarian?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Believe me compared to being Gaius’ apprentice, Arthur ’s manservant, and secret defender of Camelot, this is a piece of cake.” “I suppose so,” Hunith said, “I just worry .” “I’m fine, mother , really ,” Merlin grinned kissing her cheek. “You do look happy ,” she smiled knowingly , “I assume you and Arthur…” Merlin blushed, “Y es, he wants me to marry him.” “Oh, that is wonderful news.” “It may never happen, but it is nice knowing that it’ s what he wants.” “Arthur loves you, Merlin. I am certain he will find a way .” “What if the people, the court won’ t accept us being together?” “Does it matter?” Hunith asked, “As long as you and Arthur love each other?” “No, it doesn’ t,” Merlin grinned then kissed Gavin’ s cheek. “I want books,” Gavin said wrapping his arms around Merlin’ s neck. “Then let’ s find you some books,” Merlin laughed. Arthur paced the empty council chambers his arms folded across his chest. He’d woken up from a nightmare to an empty bed, empty chambers. For a fleeting moment, he feared that he had dreamed it all, that Merlin was still dead. Then he looked over at the tangled bedding, the imprint from another head on the pillows and he smiled. He’s spent the entire morning pouring over the laws of Camelot looking for a way to make it possible for him and Merlin to marry . For Merlin to be accepted as his and to rule by his side. He had trusted members of the court working out the details. W ith luck, he and Merlin could be married within a month. He smiled running his fingers through his hair . He needed a haircut and now that Merlin was back… “Sire,” Leon said as he came through the door , “Riders are approaching the gates. They wear the colors of Deorham.” “Alined’ s men…” Arthur frowned, “Show them to the throne room. I will see them immediately .” “Very well,” Leon nodded and left. Arthur took a breath and then headed for the throne room. He spotted Gwaine in the corridor . “Gwaine, I need you to go to the library and find Merlin. T ell him to dress and meet me in the throne room we have guests. Alined’ s men.” Gwaine nodded, “I’ll go. What do you think this is about?” “Not sure, but I need Merlin there with me.” “Right, I’ll go get him and we will meet you in the throne room,” Gwaine said then took of f running down the corridor . Merlin was just leaving the library when Gwaine rounded the corner . “What’ s wrong?” he asked. “Arthur sent me to find you, Alined’ s men are here. He needs you to dress up pretty and join him in the throne room.” “What do they want?” Merlin asked as they headed for the physician’ s chambers so he could clean up and change clothes. “No idea, but it can’ t be good.” Hunith was preparing a remedy when they walked in, and Gavin was sitting on the bed looking at a book of pictures of mythical creatures. “Merlin, Gwaine,” she smiled. “Mother , I need you to keep Gavin here, do not let him out of your sight. Alined’ s men are here, and we don’ t know what they want,” Merlin said as he ran up the steps to his room and closed the door . He used magic to heat water in a bowl, washed up quickly then put on his new dark blue trousers and the red tunic with the gold embroidered collar and cuf fs. Slipped on his black boots and tamed his hair with magic then headed back downstairs. Hunith reached up to fix the collar and patted his cheek. “I will keep Gavin here with me,” she nodded, “T ell Arthur he is safe.” “I love you,” Merlin kissed her forehead then bent to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “Gavin, you will protect my mother for me?” “I will,” the boy beamed up at him. “Gwaine,” Merlin nodded, and they left the room. Arthur looked up as the door opened and Merlin walked in with Gwaine right behind him. He approached looking around warily . “Where are they?” he asked. “They are on their way up now ,” Arthur said as he looked Merlin over from head to toe and smiled making an appreciative sound. “W e definitely need to get the tailor to make you more new clothes. Y ou look incredible.” “Thank you, My Lord,” Merlin grinned, leaning in for a kiss, but Gwaine cleared his throat alerting them to the arrival of their guests and he moved to stand behind Arthur ’s throne, but the king gripped his wrist and drew him forward to stand beside him. “Your Majesty ,” Leon said, “I present the delegation from King Alined. They asked for an audience with you in regard to the actions of Prince Amren.” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, then Leon stepped aside, and the men entered. “Your highness, King Arthur ,” the leader said, “I am Sir Harak, first knight of Deorham. King Alined sent us with an of fering and his deepest apologies for the actions of his son Prince Amren in the kidnapping of your son Prince Gavin.” Arthur raised an eyebrow , “He is admitting that Amren was involved?” “Yes, My Lord,” Harak said, “The prince confessed to the king what he had done after some persuasion. King Alined has disinherited him and named his daughter , Princess Fiona as his successor to the throne.” “And what is this of fering?” Arthur asked. Harak motioned to one of his men who moved to the door and gestured to someone in the corridor . A man in restraints, with a hood over his head, was dragged into the throne room and forced onto his knees at Arthur ’s feet. The hood was then removed to reveal a terrified Prince Amren. “King Alined wishes to avoid war ,” Harak said, “Prince Amren is at your mercy , to face sentencing for the crime of kidnapping your son.” Arthur stared down at the prince, he was only a year older than Arthur . They had known each other as boys. The man had grown up pampered and protected. “Amren,” Arthur said, “What do you have to say for yourself? Y ou kidnapped my son.” “King Arthur , I deeply regret what I did. I was angry at my father for giving away my birthright.” “My son could have been killed,” Arthur said his voice sharp and hard. “I know , My Lord, I beg of you, if you intend to kill me, make it quick.” Arthur gave Merlin a sidelong glance and Merlin gave him a barely discernable nod. He turned his attention back to Prince Amren. “On your feet, Amren,” Arthur said. The prince obeyed, with help from Harak, reluctantly meeting Arthur ’s gaze. “Please, Y our Majesty…” Amren practically whimpered. “Your father has banished you?” “Yes,” he said his voice trembling. Arthur let out a breath and shook his head, “Everything in me wants to have you put to death for what you did, but it seems that letting you live will be a greater punishment. Y ou will be released, Prince Amren. Y ou will leave Camelot…leave the five kingdoms never to return. Is that understood?” “Yes, My Lord, thank you…your mercy is appreciated. I will do as you have ordered. Y ou have shown that you are a good and strong king.” Arthur took a step toward him, and the prince paled, “It is not mercy , Amren. What you did was cruel and unfor givable. But if we are to achieve lasting peace in the kingdoms, it must be without bloodshed. I am not my father . If I were you would be dead already . I choose to let you live with what you have done and what you have lost because of your decision.” “King Arthur ,” Sir Harak bowed, “W e will inform King Alined of your decision.” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, “Now remove him from my court, please.” Gwaine and Leon glanced at Arthur nodding then followed the men out. Merlin released a breath and then took hold of his king’ s hand. “That was a tough decision,” he said softly . “Yes, but the right one,” Arthur smiled. “Are you all right?” “As long as you are by my side, yes,” he said then kissed Merlin tenderly . “I’m proud of you,” Merlin grinned. “Proud of your king?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Of you,” Merlin kissed him. “Funny , even though my father so rarely said those words to me, they mean so much more coming from you, Merlin. I want so much to be worthy of your love, your loyalty , and devotion.” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur…” “I love you, Merlin.” “And I love you, Y our Majesty .” “Now you use titles,” Arthur chuckled. “You’d rather I call you a prat? “Actually , yes.” “I love you, Prat,” Merlin grinned then kissed him deeply . The lower town was just beginning to stir as the sun rose in the east. A lone figure wrapped in a dark green cloak the hood covering her long dark hair walked with determination, her back straight and head high. As she walked through the lower town she lowered the hood. The people gasped their eyes going wide in fear as they stared in disbelief. She gave them a hesitant smile and continued on her way the people parting to let her through. She walked into the square only to find herself surrounded by knights. The alarm bells went of f alerting the citadel to the intruder . Arthur and Merlin heard them from their chambers. There was a knock on the door . It opened and Gwaine entered. “Arthur…” he said his eyes filled with fear . “What is it?” Arthur asked. “In the square, it’ s Mor gana. She has returned.” Merlin’ s eyes widened and he took of f running with Arthur and Gwaine close behind. He charged down the stairs and out the doors heading down the steps. He pushed between two of the knights. Reaching Mor gana, he drew her behind him protectively and shook his head. “Stop, please,” he said, “She means no harm.” “Merlin,” Mor gana said, sounding annoyed, “I don’ t need you to protect me.” “Doesn’ t look that way to me,” Merlin grinned. “Mor gana,” Arthur said as he came down the steps. “Arthur…” “Is it really you?” he asked motioning for the knights to stand down. Morgana moved from behind Merlin approaching her brother . She bowed her head and then knelt at his feet. She looked up at him, tears in her jade-green eyes. “It is me, the real me, Y our Highness,” she said her voice soft, but edged with fear and uncertainty . “Merlin told me everything,” Arthur said then crouched in front of her catching her completely by surprise. “I’m sorry , Mor gana.” Morgana shook her head, tears sliding down her cheeks, “Why are you apologizing to me?” “I failed you,” Arthur said reaching out to brush a tear away with his thumb, “I was blind to your pain, your fear . What our father did to you was wrong, just as he was wrong about magic.” “Arthur , what I did…” Mor gana choked back a sob. “It wasn’ t you…well, it wasn’ t all you. I know that now . How are you back?” Morgana glanced at Merlin then turned back to Arthur , “The Goddess, she said I could return, but I can only stay if I can earn your for giveness, Arthur . I know I don’ t deserve it… Arthur smiled and pulled her into his embrace, “Y ou have it, Mor gana…if you can for give me.” Mor gana’ s whole body shook with relieved sobs as she clung to her brother . Merlin met Arthur ’s gaze with a wide grin and a nod. “I’m so sorry , Arthur ,” Mor gana gasped. “Welcome home, my sister…I love you,” Arthur smiled cupping the back of her head. Morgana stif fened and drew back releasing him, then stood up. She closed her eyes tilting her head back as what looked like falling stars shot across the sky conver ging on one point to become a beam of silver light, pure and beautiful aimed down at the ground, at Mor gana. She raised her arms into the air and the beam came down flowing into her . She opened her eyes; they were a brilliant silver . “What’ s happening?” Arthur asked Merlin. “It’s her magic, it has been purified and it is returning to her ,” he said. “Oh,” Mor gana gasped as the magic settled down in her core where it belonged. “Mor gana?” Merlin smiled. “This is incredible,” she breathed out slowly , “Merlin…” “You have your magic back,” Arthur said. “Yes, the Goddess said that I had to have your for giveness in order to stay , but I could only have my magic back if you still have love for me,” Mor gana said with a soft laugh. “I didn’ t think…” “You’re my sister , Mor gana. I hated what you did, but I never hated you. I think a part of me understood why you went down the path you did. Our father lied to us both. He denied you your heritage and your rightful place in the kingdom.” “The throne was never mine to claim,” Mor gana said, “Mor gause, she poisoned me with darkness and hatred. She wanted the power she could only obtain through me. Y ou were always meant to rule, Arthur .” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur , his eyes narrowed as he studied Mor gana. She met his gaze with a genuine softness and reassurance. “You’re not her ,” he said. “Gwaine,” Mor gana smiled, “Y ou’re alive.” “Yes, thanks to Merlin.” “I’m glad,” she bowed, “I am so sorry for all that I did to you. I humbly beg your forgiveness.” Gwaine stared at her for a moment then shook his head, “Y ou’re not her…not the Lady Morgana I knew .” “No, Gwaine,” Arthur smiled, “This is the Lady Mor gana that I grew up with, the one who belongs in Camelot. She’ s stubborn, bossy , a little scary , but she is kind, compassionate and she’s my sister .” “And my friend,” Merlin smiled. Morgana turned to him, “Y ou look happy .” “I am,” he grinned then glanced at Arthur . “I missed you,” she said. “I missed you too,” Merlin hugged her and then kissed her forehead. “Father!” Gavin shouted as he came tearing down the steps with Hunith right behind him. Arthur turned and smiled. “Father?” Mor gana asked. “Mor gana, this is Prince Gavin Pendragon, your nephew ,” Arthur said proudly as his son reached the bottom step and stopped. He looked up at Mor gana with a bright smile and blue eyes that could see into the soul. “Look at you,” Mor gana cried dropping to her knees in front of him, “Y ou are beautiful.” Gavin moved closer to her reaching out to touch her cheek. “Y ou’re safe now ,” he said softly , “You don’ t have to be scared no more.” Morgana stared at him her eyes filling with tears. She shook her head unable to speak as Gavin wrapped his little arms around her neck. She held him tightly looking up at Arthur and then Merlin in utter disbelief. “Welcome home, Mor gana,” Arthur smiled. “Gods, look at you,” Mor gana choked back a cry of joy , kissing Gavin’ s little chubby cheek. “Let’ s go inside,” Arthur said scooping Gavin up in his arms. Gwaine extended a hand to Mor gana. She looked at him in surprise before taking it and he helped her up. Merlin put a hand on her lower back guiding her up the steps. “Lady Mor gana,” Hunith said as they reached her . “Hunith,” Mor gana smiled embracing her . “That’ s the beautiful young lady I remember , welcome home.” “Thank you.” “How do you feel?” Merlin asked her as they walked down the corridor . She stopped for a moment to look around then nodded. “I feel free. And incredibly happy . There’ s something dif ferent about you, Merlin…” she said studying him, taking in his new clothes then she spotted the silver ring…Arthur ’s silver ring on his hand. “Oh, this explains a few things.” Merlin blushed, “Y es, well, Arthur and me…” Morgana’ s eyes widened, “It is about time. Y ou two…always looking longingly at each other . Everyone knew you were completely besotted with Arthur and Arthur with you. I just never imagined that he would act on his feelings. He really has changed, hasn’ t he.” “So have I,” Merlin said. “I can see that,” Mor gana beamed, “I am so pleased, Merlin. Y ou deserve to be happy .” “As do you,” he said. “I’m beginning to believe that. I still feel so guilty though.” “I know…I still carry my own guilt, but we have to for give ourselves,” Merlin smiled. “This is your second chance, Mor gana,” Gwaine said, “Don’ t waste it dwelling on the past. If Arthur and Merlin can for give you…” Morgana turned to look at him, “But can you?” Gwaine shook his head, “It’ s strange. I don’ t see you as the same woman who tortured me on more than one occasion and then killed me. As I said, you’re not her .” “How can you not?” she asked. “Maybe if I had known you before, I would feel dif ferently . I cannot reconcile the two versions of you. Maybe that is a good thing.” “Maybe so,” Mor gana smiled looking into his eyes. Merlin went ahead leaving the two of them alone. Gwaine took her arm slipping it through his then followed. Mor gana felt a rush of emotion that was almost overwhelming as they walked into the throne room where Arthur stood with Merlin, Gavin in his arms. Her eyes filled with tears again at the sight and she smiled. “I’m home.” Arthur sat at his desk working on a speech. He couldn’ t focus on the words because he kept looking up at the door every few minutes waiting for Merlin to appear . Where was he? The last three weeks had been insane. There were constant and ongoing discussions with his advisors and lords over the most basic kingdom business. The getting used to having Morgana in his life again and trying to figure out a way to give her back what their father had taken from her , as well as working to change the laws to allow Arthur and Merlin to marry . Then an outbreak of some sort of fever in an outlying village had kept Merlin and Hunith away for five days only to have the same sickness break out in Camelot’ s lower town while they were gone. Mor gana had done her best to take care of the patients until they returned then the three of them worked together until finally , it was under control. Arthur rubbed his eyes and dropped his quill. He slipped on his boots and headed for the door. It was late and the castle was quiet, so he didn’ t care that he was only wearing his trousers and a sleep tunic. He needed to find Merlin. Not finding him in the physician’ s chambers, Arthur headed toward the library . The door creaked when he opened it. The room was dark save for a few scattered candles. The secret room… “Merlin,” Arthur called out as he reached the wall behind which he knew the hidden room lay. He kicked the shelf that tripped the release and it opened. “Merlin?” he said as the panel closed behind him. “Arthur ,” Merlin said, coming out from behind a high shelf lined with ancient books, “What time is it?” “It’s almost midnight,” Arthur smiled, “Are you all right?” “Yes, sorry , I lost track of time,” Merlin grinned. “I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me,” Arthur said his eyes narrowing. “Never ,” Merlin shook his head, “Just a lot to catch up on since the outbreak.” “Are you sure that’ s all it is?” “I am sure. I’m sorry for neglecting you, my king.” Arthur looked around the room and nodded, “This is amazing. I had no idea so much survived my father ’s pur ge.” “Yes, well, some of the books were severely damaged and I had to repair them with magic. Some were beyond saving. The shelves are warded now , they will be protected.” “That’ s good…very good,” Arthur said watching as Merlin stretched to put a book on the higher shelf. He smirked then stepped closer wrapping his arms around him. “It’ s very quiet in here, isn’ t it?” “Mmm, yes,” Merlin grinned as Arthur ’s hands slid beneath his tunic splaying over his flat stomach and he felt the hard ridge of the king’ s arousal pressing against his arse. “What shall your punishment be for neglecting your king, Mer—lin?” “Oh!” Merlin gasped then let out a low moan as Arthur thrust his hips forward pressing him into the shelf, “Gods, more of that…definitely more of that.” Arthur grinned and repeated the movement and Merlin let out a sound of desperate longing. “It’s not punishment if it feels good,” he chuckled. “Arthur ,” Merlin moaned pressing back into him, “Please…” Turning Merlin around Arthur kissed him hard and deep biting his bottom lip and thrusting his tongue into his warm wet mouth as he pressed him back against the shelf. Merlin’ s eyes were wide and dark with arousal his breath coming out in short gasps, his chest heaving. “Merlin,” Arthur growled, rolling his hips into his, “I want you now…” Merlin nodded eagerly , unable to form words he yanked Arthur ’s tunic over his head kissing his chest, neck, and shoulder . It was the king’ s turn to moan filthily , his hips stuttering as Merlin’ s hands quickly unlaced his trousers and pushed them down to his broad muscular thighs. Arthur shoved his hand down the front of Merlin’ s trousers gripping his hard cock. “Gods, Arthur!” he gasped kissing Arthur again, their hot breath mingling as their tongues moved together . They were both completely out of their minds, needing to feel every touch, every thrust. “Merlin,” Arthur whispered huskily pushing his trousers down and Merlin kicked them of f with his boots as Arthur lifted him of f his feet wrapping his long legs around his waist and kissing him, devouring his lips and tongue. “Magic…need magic,” he growled and Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold. A moment later Arthur thrust into him, and Merlin cried out in utter bliss. “Arthur , yes, please…” he panted, closing his eyes, reaching up to grip the shelf with both hands, holding on for dear life as Arthur drove into him. “Arthur…don’ t stop…more!” “Merlin, you feel so good, so tight,” Arthur kissed him. He looked into his eyes rolling his hips harder and faster . The wild look in Merlin’ s sex-addled gaze increased his arousal tenfold. “I love you,” he breathed out thrusting up into him, their bodies trembling and drenched with sweat. “Mine, always, Merlin.” “Arthur ,” Merlin said breathlessly . “I’m close,” Arthur whispered, kissing him, and sucking on his full bottom lip. Merlin placed one hand on his own cock stroking himself furiously as Arthur pounded into him with abandon. They shouted loudly as they came, shuddering violently . Merlin let go of his spent cock gripping the shelf as Arthur continued to thrust into him again and again until they could no longer move or form coherent thoughts. “Holy…” Arthur gasped, and Merlin huf fed a laugh. “If that is my punishment I shall have to neglect you more often.” “Such insolence,” Arthur grinned kissing him. “I love you,” Merlin said kissing him back. “I think we should take this to our bed.” “Perhaps you should carry me.” “So, you can kick me again,” Arthur smirked then nipped at his bottom lip then slipped out of Merlin then set him back on his feet. “Get dressed, Mer—lin,” he grinned then pulled up his trousers and retrieved his sleep tunic. “Yes, Sire,” Merlin grinned. Once they were both dressed they put out all the candles and left the library walking back to Arthur ’s chambers. Passing the guards in the corridor Arthur nodded, dismissing them for the night. “You think that’ s a good idea?” Merlin asked. “I’m sleeping with the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth,” Arthur smiled raising an eyebrow , “I’m perfectly safe.” “True,” Merlin chuckled then followed him into the room, and they closed and locked the door. He started the fire in the hearth and lit the candles while Arthur undressed. “W ould you like me to fill the tub for you?” “Merlin, you’re not my servant anymore.” “No, I know , but I don’ t mind.” Arthur looked at him and shook his head, “Y ou really miss it don’ t you.” “Being your servant,” Merlin said then shrugged, “Y es, I guess I do.” “Tell me, Merlin, if you never became my servant…if we never had this shared destiny , what do you think your life would be like now?” Merlin sat down in the chair by the hearth and took of f his boots. He looked at Arthur , shaking his head. “My life…” he said thoughtfully , his voice catching, “I don’ t know…and I don’t want to know .” Arthur moved toward the chair crouching in front of Merlin, taking hold of his hands. “Y ou never wanted anything else for yourself? Surely you had dreams.” “Only to be loved and to be free to use my magic…to be accepted for who I am,” he smiled, “I have that now , Arthur , and there is nothing else I want.” “Just every time I think about how much you suf fered, the pain and the loss, because of me,” Arthur said bringing Merlin’ s hands to his lips. “I just want you to be happy .” “I am, Arthur , believe me,” Merlin said, leaning forward to kiss him, “For the first time in my life I am not afraid. I don’ t have to skulk around in the shadows defending the kingdom anymore. And I finally have you the way I always dreamed of but never dared hope.” “Yes, you do,” Arthur grinned then stood up, “Now , get undressed and let’ s clean up and go to bed. I am exhausted.” “Yes, My Lord,” Merlin smiled. Three weeks later Arthur and Merlin were married in a ceremony in the clearing with the citizens of Camelot, the Druids, Kilgharrah, and even Aithusa looking on. The knights stood behind Arthur , Leon holding a beaming Gavin in his arms while Mor gana walked with Merlin who was dressed in black trousers and a fine purple silk tunic embroidered with silver thread on the collar and the cuf fs. Black shiny boots and a silver circlet on his head. Arthur smiled, his blue eyes shining with tears. Mor gana met her brother ’s gaze then she turned to Merlin smiling brightly . She cupped his cheek and nodded slightly . “You look so handsome,” she said, “I love you, Merlin. I am so pleased that you and Arthur found your way back to each other .” “I love you too, Mor gana,” Merlin said his eyes brimming with tears. “Arthur , you take care of him the way he always took care of you,” Mor gana said. “I will,” Arthur smiled reaching out for Merlin’ s hand as she moved to stand next to a tearful Hunith and Gwaine who kissed her on the forehead before taking hold of her hand. “Ready?” Arthur asked. “Yes,” Merlin grinned taking his place in front of his king, “I love you.” “Always,” Arthur said. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the ancient right of handfasting…” The time of Albion, born fr om Magic’ s sacrifice. The King lives, his legacy shall be the bridge between peace and magic. Emrys and the King, one soul, one heart, one destiny realized. Out of the darkness is born the light. For giveness, r edemption…faith, and love shall r eign. The bloodline unbr oken, a new r eign will triumph. Fr om the last br eath to a new awakening magic shall thrive once again. The world in balance. Life and death ar e restor ed. Long live The King…long live Magic! Giving Up The Ghost - By A-ha Chapter Summary If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Giving Up The Ghost by A-ha Icy road, blinding dark Rolling hills in the distance Open wound, a painful scar Love has left its burning trademark Off the grid, out of bounds Further down into shadow Darkest day and whitest night In harm's way We're chasing rainbows Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurts the most You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Frozen lake soon will flow Frozen ground soon to follow But hey - everything is in your head And what you killed is never dead Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost On what you loved the most On a coal-black sea, the sky's on fire Failed attempts at a funeral pyre Deep as dreams of dark desire The flames are growing ever higher You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Rating: Explicit Archive W arning: Major Character Death Categories: F/M, M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV) Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Mor gana (Merlin) Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Original Child Character(s), Kilgharrah (Merlin) Additional T ags: Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Morgana Knows about Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Gwen Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Queen Gwen (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Character Death, Temporary Character Death, Post-Battle of Camlann (Merlin), After Camlann Merlin Big Bang, Pregnancy, Evil Mor gana (Merlin), Redeemed Mor gana (Merlin), Merlin Dies (Merlin), Morgana Dies (Merlin), Alternate Universe - Canon Diver gence, Explicit Sexual Content, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning Language: English Collections: Ficsread2022 Stats: Published: 2022-12-24 Words: 56, 035 Chapters: 9/9 Giving Up The Ghost by MerlinsBrokenHeart Summary The battle of Camlann is done, Arthur is mortally wounded and dealing with the revelation that Merlin is a sorcerer . His servant has magic. The one person he trusted more than any other had betrayed him…lied to him all these years. Merlin is determined to take his king to Avalon to be healed by the Sidhe. Over the two-day journey, Arthur slowly begins to realize that Merlin is still Merlin, magic or not. The most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth… his servant, his friend, and protector . When Mor gana catches up to them before they can reach A valon, Merlin makes the ultimate sacrifice for his king leaving Arthur reeling. Defying prophecy and forever altering the fate of the king and of Camelot. Notes My tribute to Merlin in honor of the T en-Y ear Anniversary of the finale. Long Live Merlin!!!! This is the story I have always wanted to write. From the POV of Arthur, his internal dialogue and emotional struggle with Merlin’ s confession that he is a sorcerer . The actual dialogue and story pretty much follows the final episode up to the point where Mor gana catches up to them. From there it takes a drastic turn, diver ging wildly from canon, and creating a whole new ending. Enjoy and I hope you all love it as much as I do. Feedback appreciated. If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Aftermath Arthur was drowning in pitch-black darkness. His eyelids were heavy . The pain was like a lightning bolt in his side. Mordred, how could he have been so stupid to trust the boy? So, this is how it is all meant to end…with yet another betrayal by someone he cared about, someone he trusted. Arthur Pendragon...trusting fool. It seemed that his faith in others was to be his undoing. Maybe his father had been right not to depend on others…to not trust anyone. Another image penetrated the darkness, a fleeting glimpse of the old sorcerer…Dragoon? Why would the old man help him? Why would a sorcerer fight for Camelot, the kingdom that had persecuted his kind for decades? It didn’ t make any sense. The old man had killed his father and now he was carrying him from the battlefield…how in the hell was a doddery old man able to bear his weight in full armor? And why was he crying? Guinevere, his beautiful queen, at least Camelot would be in good hands. He could go to the other world knowing that. She would be a great leader and Merlin would be at her side to help her just as he had been for Arthur . His reign was done. He could die knowing the kingdom was safe. He just needed to let go. Arthur huf fed a breath and opened his eyes swallowing hard. There was a crackling fire near his feet and a familiar figure crouched on the other side of the flames. He knew that ratty brown jacket. But how did Merlin even find him? Where was the old sorcerer? “Merlin, ” Arthur said, amazed that his voice still worked. “How are you feeling?” Merlin asked, immediately moving to his side as Arthur tried to sit up. “Ah, ah mmm, ” Arthur grabbed Merlin as pain tore through his body . Merlin gripped Arthur ’s forearm where it lay against his shoulder, desperate to keep that connection to his king. “Lie back…lie back, ” he said, his voice thick with worry . “Where have you been?” “It doesn't matter now .” “Ah, my side…my side, ” Arthur said his head fell back, face twisting in pain. “You are bleeding, ” Merlin glanced down at the wound. “That's all right. I thought I was dying, ” Arthur said every breath a struggle. Merlin looked at him again his blue eyes shining with tears, his face etched with worry . “I'm sorry . I thought I'd defied the prophecy . I thought I was in time.” “What are you talking about?” “I defeated the Saxons. The dragon. And yet...and yet I knew it was Mordred that I must stop, ” Merlin said. Arthur patted Merlin’ s shoulder squeezing gently as his eyes widened, a slight smile on his face, “The person who defeated them was the sorcerer .” “It was me, ” Merlin said fretfully, grasping Arthur's wrist as tears pooled in his eyes. “Don't be ridiculous, Merlin, ” Arthur said, shaking his head slightly, “This is stupid, why would you say that?” He stared at him, struggling to grasp what Merlin was trying to say . “I'm a...” Merlin’ s voice faltered, tears sliding down his face as he struggled to find the words he had imagined saying to Arthur so many times. “I'm a sorcerer . I have magic. And I use it for you, Arthur . Only for you, ” he spoke with a quiet ur gency . “Merlin, you are not a sorcerer . I would know!” “Look…here, ” Merlin held out his hand, palm facing up, and uttered words that Arthur did not understand. Suddenly a familiar glowing orb of light formed, and Arthur's eyes widened in surprise as he remembered…all those years ago. He remembered that light. Arthur looked at Merlin as the truth seared his pain-addled mind. No, no, no, not Merlin… not the one person he trusted more than any other . Magic…Merlin had magic…it was not true…it couldn’ t be true. This was wrong…just wrong. Arthur wanted to run away, to put as much distance between himself and this person he thought he knew, but his body refused to cooperate. T urning his head, he looked for a way to escape knowing full well there was none...not from this. “Leave me, ” Arthur breathed, his eyes wide with fear and pain, his mouth turned down in a deep frown, body trembling with cold and fear . “Arthur, ” Merlin said, his voice pleading for him to understand. “No, just...you heard. Just...” Arthur said his voice filled with desperation, sadness, and a bone-deep feeling of betrayal that dwarfed anything he had felt with Mor gana…worse even than when he had caught Guinevere and Lancelot together . He glanced back to see that Merlin had reluctantly moved away, putting distance between them. The anguish in his eyes was almost too much for Arthur to bear, but he could not bring himself to call him back. Arthur awoke to the sound of footsteps approaching, for a moment he felt panic, but then he had Merlin to protect him. Merlin…his liar of a servant. He could still scarcely believe it. Merlin…a sorcerer…a goddamn sorcerer . But then he always knew there was something about him. And hadn’ t Merlin all but admitted it that day in the council chambers? Admitted to being the one who healed Gwen’ s father . And yet Arthur had made fun of him, convinced everyone that he was a fool in love with Gwen. T urns out that, yet again, it was Arthur who was the fool. Keeping his eyes closed, Arthur listened to Gaius and Merlin saying something about Saxons, Comfrey, and Sticklewort whatever the hell that was. “Merlin, why don’ t you water the horses? And make sure they are fed, we can’ t hide here for much longer, ” Gaius said. Arthur waited until Merlin had walked away and then opened his eyes. He reached for Gaius, grabbing hold of his robe. “He’ s a sorcerer!” he said, and the older man just looked at him. “Y ou knew .” Of course, he knew, Arthur, you idiot. The man took Merlin in and cared for him. “Arthur, he is your friend, ” Gaius said. “I want him gone.” “There is no need to fear him.” “Have him take word to Camelot. T o Guinevere.” “You cannot send Merlin. I will go.” “I need a physician right now, not a sorcerer .” “He can do far more than me, far more than you can ever imagine. Arthur, he doesn’ t just have magic…there are those who say he is the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth.” “Merlin?” Arthur said completely befuddled. Then he remembered what Gaius has told him after Mor gana kidnapped him. One day you will learn, Arthur . One day you will understand...just how much they've done for you . Merlin…Gaius had been talking about Merlin. One day he would understand just how much Merlin had done for him. Then he remembered what The Dolma said that day at the Cauldron of Arianrhod. One day, great King, you will r ecognize the true worth of those that surr ound you. Merlin was missing because she was Merlin. Merlin saved Gwen…it was his magic. Arthur felt shame and sadness begin to eclipse his anger . “If you are to stand any chance of survival, you'll need Merlin to help you, not me, ” Gaius said, and Arthur turned his head to look in the direction Merlin had gone while the older man finished examining his wound. “Arthur, there is a fragment of sword embedded in your chest. It is not an ordinary blade. Y ou must trust Merlin.” “Trust Merlin, ” Arthur huf fed a laugh rolling his eyes, “I’ll never trust him again.” “Merlin has always believed in you, Arthur…please believe in him…have faith in him. I always have, ” Gaius said. “Arthur, there is little choice. Y our only hope for survival is the Lake of A valon and the Sidhe. For only their magic can save you.” “The Sidhe…magical beings are going to be willing to heal me?” “I cannot say for certain, but there is no other option.” “Very well, ” Arthur said reluctantly, “I will allow him to take me to the Lake of A valon, but after everything…all the betrayals…this one hurts the most. Merlin…” “Arthur, Merlin did not betray you. He wanted to tell you the truth so many times. If anyone is to blame it is me. It was I who told him to keep his magic a secret.” “He could have told me after my father died…Merlin killed my father .” “You’re wrong, Arthur, ” Gaius said forcefully, “Merlin did not kill the king. He tried to heal him, but Mor gana had Agravaine put a necklace around his neck that reversed any healing magic tenfold. In trying to save Uther…” “Merlin killed him…” “I only discovered the necklace after, and it was too late to do anything. Merlin was devastated. He was so afraid that he had turned you against magic forever . That you would never know him for who he truly is. That is all he has ever wanted, Sire, to be accepted by you.” “This is too much, ” Arthur said, “Leave me, please.” “I am truly sorry, Arthur, ” Gaius said then he got up and went of f to talk to Merlin leaving Arthur to deal with his jumbled emotions. The pain in his side had faded somewhat, due to whatever Gaius had given him, leaving him with little distraction from the internal turmoil. Merlin…his idiot servant and friend…had magic. All this time he kept his secret. Made a fool out of Arthur and for what? What was his goal? What did he want from him? “Arthur, ” Merlin said apprehensively, and Arthur turned his head to look at him. “W e need to leave at first light.” “I’ll decide, ” Arthur said quietly . “I can't let you die.” “It doesn't change anything, ” Arthur replied then turned his head closing his eyes. He listened as Merlin walked away . His eyes burning with unshed tears, he heard Gaius speaking to Merlin. “Let him sleep. It's late. Y ou cannot travel tonight, ” Gaius said, “Y ou were right to tell him.” Arthur feels another punch to his gut. Merlin was right to tell him…he was wrong to have kept his damn magic a secret all these years. And Gaius…he lied to protect Merlin. He risked his life keeping the truth from Uther Pendragon. Arthur winced as a sharp pain radiated upward from his wound. Could he really trust Merlin to take him to some magical place? T o allow some magical beings to heal him? Merlin was there for him after his father died. Merlin was always there for him, by his side through thick and thin. Loyal, brave, and strong, and yet he was a liar . I didn't want you to feel that you wer e alone. Dammit, Merlin. How could you do this to me? Arthur grimaced as he tried to shift his position only to give up when the pain became too much to bear . “Stupid foolish idiot, ” he muttered under his breath, not sure if he was speaking of Merlin or of himself…maybe both. The rustle of the wind through the trees, the crickets chirping, the sound and smell of the campfire. Arthur looked up at the sky and remembered a night not long ago when he and Merlin had camped out alone in the woods near the cave of The Disir . Everything her e... is so full of life. Every tr ee, every leaf. Every insect. It's as if the world is vibrating. As if everything is much mor e than itself. Merlin felt all that when Arthur could not because Merlin had magic. Why then did he tell Arthur that there could be no place for magic in Camelot? W ouldn’ t he want magic to be free? For him to be free? Mordred…Merlin wanted to stop Mordred. He knew…the prophecy…Mordred was destined to kill him. That explained the constant tension between his servant and the young knight. And why Merlin was so upset that Arthur did not kill Mordred when he had a chance to do so. Arthur ’s head hurt from thinking. His side hurt. His heart hurt. The more pieces that fell into place in the complex riddle that was his servant, the more he wanted to punch something. The clearer things became, the more he wanted to scream. He almost wished he had died on the battlefield rather than having to deal with all this. He didn’ t want to deal with this. Mercifully, he managed to drift of f to sleep at some point during the night. Arthur awoke at dawn to Merlin stomping out what remained of the fire. He groaned, moving his head, his eyes heavy with sleep. The constant pain in his side forced his mind to focus on something other than Merlin. “Arthur, we have to go now, ” Merlin said softly, crouching next to him, “Please, trust me.” “You want me to trust you?” Arthur scof fed. “Please, Arthur . When we get back to Camelot, I will take whatever punishment you choose…I don’ t care. Just let me take you to A valon.” “And if I were to order you to be burned on the pyre?” Arthur asked, staring at him fixedly . Merlin’ s shoulders lifted, his expression stoic, determined, “If that is what you decide, then I will accept it…I’ll even save you the trouble and light the fire myself.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, you idiot. As if I could ever watch you die.” Merlin gave him a half smile and then helped him up of f the ground, with dif ficulty, but he managed to get him to the horse and maneuvered him into the saddle helping him to sit upright. Arthur reached up dragging a leather cord over his head. “Gaius, ” Arthur called out and the old physician approached, “Give this to Guinevere.” “It's the Royal Seal, sire, ” Gaius said as Arthur placed it in his open palm “If I am to die, I can think of no one who I would rather succeed me.” Gaius covered his hand with his own and nodded before he walked toward Merlin. “You know he was betrayed. The girl, Eira cannot be trusted, ” Merlin said in warning. “I know .” “How long does he have?” Merlin asked trying to keep his voice down, but Arthur heard him anyway . “At best, two days.” Merlin nodded then walked past Gaius toward Arthur . “Merlin, ” Gaius said, and he stopped turning back to face the older man. Gaius hugged him tightly, “I'll have your favorite meal waiting for you. Now go. Look after him. Go.” Merlin stepped between the two horses gathering up the reins as Arthur glanced down at Gaius. Merlin then led them away turning to look back at his mentor a look of dread in his blue eyes. They traveled in silence, Arthur hated the silence, but neither did he want to talk. He felt the wariness and fear emanating from Merlin, his head constantly on a swivel, eyes wide and vigilant. Why was he doing this? Why did he care so much? If he truly was the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, he didn’ t need Arthur . He had never once asked for anything. He could have used his magic to get whatever he wanted, but he did not. Why? Crossing the plains, the weather was gloomy, the wind biting. Arthur sat hunched over the saddle shivering beneath his armor . Merlin looked back seeing two men riding quickly toward them. “Saxons!” he stopped his horse and dismounted. Scrambling to grab the rolled blanket from behind his saddle, he unfolded and draped it over Arthur . “I'll deal with them. Keep your head down. Don't speak.” Arthur grabbed the edges of the blanket pulling it tighter around him to hide his face as Merlin stepped away looking down into the wooded valley below . A puf f of smoke suddenly rose from the trees below . It reminded Arthur of a time long ago when the woman witnessed the horse in the smoke. He closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath that Merlin did not hear . “Help us!” Merlin called out waving both arms in the air at the approaching riders, “Please you have to help us. W e were ambushed.” The Saxons dismount and walk toward him. “By whom?” one of them asked. “These two men, ” Merlin said. “What did they look like?” “Um...one was...a knight.” Merlin glanced back at Arthur seeing the exposed hilt of Arthur ’s sword. “They stormed our camp, ” he said pointing toward the smoke to distract the Saxons while he hurried to cover it with the blanket before they turned around. “You're sure it was a Camelot knight?” “Yeah.” The Saxon pushed Merlin back as he stepped forward then yanked the blanket of f Arthur . Both men drew their swords. Arthur watched as Merlin’ s arms came up, hands outstretched and both men screamed as they were thrown violently backward. “You've lied to me all this time.” Merlin said nothing, he just turned, retrieved the blanket, and got back in the saddle. Arthur gripped the reins with one hand ur ging his horse to follow . His chest hurt even more from the shock of seeing Merlin use magic so openly . The display of his immense power only serving to fortify the sense of betrayal. They rode until dark, then Merlin helped Arthur of f his horse and down onto his bedroll which he had placed near the base of a tree so that his upper body was slightly elevated to keep the pressure of f his wound. Arthur watched as he gathered wood. After several minutes of failed attempts to start a fire with flints, Arthur huf fed a breath. “Why don’ t you use magic?” Arthur asked. “Habit, I suppose, ” Merlin said, looking at him questioningly . Arthur nodded then watched as his servant’ s eyes turned gold and the wood burst into flame. “Feels strange.” “Yeah, ” Arthur said flatly, eyeing Merlin as he stood and went to grab his own bedroll. “I thought I knew you.” Merlin met his gaze, “I’m still the same person.” “I trusted you.” “I'm sorry, ” Merlin said, his eyes flickering with sadness, regret, and something else Arthur could not decipher . “I'm sorry too.” Merlin looked at Arthur then got up, moving toward him, and proceeded to remove his boots. “What are you doing?” “They need drying, ” Merlin said positioning the boots near the fire just as he had done countless times in the past then returned to his bedroll. “This will be good for you. Y ou need to eat, ” Merlin said, supporting Arthur ’s head as he tried to get him to eat. “Why are you doing this?” Arthur asked and Merlin placed the spoon back in the bowl. “Why are you still behaving like a servant?” Merlin sat the bowl down on the ground. “It's my destiny . As it has been since the day we met, ” he said giving his king a slight smile. “I tried to take your head of f with a mace.” “And I stopped you, using magic.” “You cheated!” “You were going to kill me, ” Merlin shrugged. “I should've.” “I'm glad you didn't. I do this because of who you are. W ithout you, Camelot's nothing.” “There was a time when that was true. Not now . There are many who can fill the crown.” “There will never be another like you, Arthur . I also do this...” Merlin rested the bowl on his knee, supporting Arthur's head as he got him to take a bite of the soup, “Because you're my friend and I don't want to lose you.” Arthur could feel himself weakening. It was all he could do to remain upright on the bent tree he was sitting on while Merlin prepared the horses. Pulling a waterskin from his saddlebag, Merlin turned just in time to see Arthur slump over and hurried to his side to catch him before he fell. “Arthur, you need to hold on. One more day. One more day, ” he said as he wiped Arthur's head with a cloth. He then put the cloth down and removed the top from the waterskin. “Why did you never tell me?” Arthur asked. “I wanted to, but...” “What?” “You'd have chopped my head of f, ” Merlin said then gave Arthur a drink of water . “I'm not sure what I would've done.” “And I didn't want to put you in that position.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “That's what worried you?” “Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me…I was born to serve you, Arthur . And I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't change a thing, ” Merlin said then he looked at Arthur, “Ready?” Arthur nodded then Merlin helped him to stand, and they moved toward the horses. Merlin was leading the way when he suddenly stopped and held up his hand. Arthur stopped as they both saw the smoke from a campfire through the trees just ahead. “Saxons?” Arthur asked, then watched as Merlin clearly did something. His shoulders visibly relaxed a moment later . “They're long gone.” “How do you know?” “I can see the path ahead, ” Merlin said, and Arthur immediately remembered the impenetrable forest and how Merlin got them through it and to the Dark T ower to rescue Guinevere. “So, you're not an idiot. That was another lie.” “No, it’ s just another part of my charm, ” Merlin grinned then nudged his horse forward and Arthur followed. It wasn’ t long before they both heard riders and men approaching from the other direction. Merlin held his hand up and looked around then nodded to their right. “In there, ” he said, and they rode of f the path and up an incline into a stand of trees. Arthur stood with his back against the tree for support while Merlin watched the approaching riders. He moved around the tree realizing that their tracks would be seen. “ Andslyht !” he said and out of nowhere a breeze picked up the leaves, covering over their trail. The Saxons stopped and looked around. Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold making the bushes across the trail rustle. “This way, ” one of the men shouted and they moved of f in the other direction. “You've done this before, ” Arthur said, remembering the wind in Ealdor as Merlin turned to look at him. “All these years, Merlin…you never once sought any credit.” “It's not why I do it, ” Merlin said, “Come on.” He then draped Arthur ’s arm over his shoulders and helped him back to their horses. They hadn’ t gone far when Merlin looked back to see Arthur slumped over the side of his horse. “Arthur!” Merlin immediately dismounted and went to his side helping him to sit upright. “I can't go on.” “There's not far to go. W e need to reach the lake before dawn.” “No, Merlin. No.” “All right. W e rest for an hour .” It didn’ t take long for Merlin to get a fire going. He glanced over at Arthur where he sat on the ground leaning back against a dead tree. He moved to sit on the log and gave him a drink of water . Arthur looked up at Merlin. “Merlin, whatever happens...” “Shh...don't talk.” “I'm the King, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do, ” Arthur said with just a glimmer of amusement in his pain-filled eyes in an echo of their familiar banter . “I always have. I'm not going to change now .” “I don't want you to change. I want you...to always...be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you.” “Does that mean you're gonna give me a day of f?” “Two, ” Arthur said. “That's generous, ” Merlin said then as Arthur's head lolled and fell forward, he checked his pulse. “Get some sleep, ” he whispered then looked around warily silently praying. Merlin had a very bad feeling as he looked up at the moon. He went to Arthur ’s side, shaking him gently . “W e need to get moving, ” Arthur barely opened his eyes, and Merlin shook him again. “Arthur . We've wasted enough time.” The sun was just coming up when they stop to rest again. Merlin helped Arthur of f the horse and lowered him down to the ground up against a rock. He nodded toward the view of the lake below . “Avalon. W e'll get there, ” Merlin said and a moment later the horses whinnied and spooked taking of f. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he shouted but they were gone. “Hello, Emrys, ” Mor gana’ s voice came from behind him, and he turned around. Mor gana’ s eyes flash and he was thrown across the clearing. Arthur instinctively reached for his sword, but it was not there. Mor gana approached him like a predator stalking her prey . “What a joy it is to see you, Arthur . Look at you…not so tall and mighty now, ” she gave him a smug smile, “Y ou may have won the battle, but you've lost the war . You're going to die by Mordred's hand. But don't worry, my dear brother, I won't let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you until the wolves gor ge on your carcass and bathe in your blood.” “No, the time for all this bloodshed is over, ” Merlin said, and Mor gana spun around standing to face him. “I blame myself for what you've become...but this has to end.” “Please, as if you can stop me, Merlin. Besides, it is too late, ” Mor gana smiled, “Arthur is dying. Y our beloved king cannot be saved no matter what you do to me.” “No!” Merlin said, his eyes darkening with rage and desperation. “Poor Emrys…with all your magic, you have still failed Arthur…failed Camelot.” Mor gana glared at him, her voice sharp as a blade, “Y our decisions brought us here. Y ou chose to sacrifice everyone else for the man you love.” Mor gana relaxed her shoulders and let out a sigh, “Ironic isn’ t it…that your obsession with protecting my brother will end in his death despite all you have done to prevent it. Merlin met Arthur ’s pained gaze as the king shook his head. “Merlin—Merlin don’ t listen to her…Mor gana is wrong, ” Arthur said pleadingly, and Merlin gave him a ghost of a smile. “No, she’ s right, ” Merlin smiled sadly, and Arthur ’s eyes went wide, “I love you, Arthur . I cannot let you die…” “Merlin!” Arthur shouted. He watched Merlin’ s eyes turn bright gold as he lunged forward wrapping a startled Mor gana in his embrace. T ilting his head back, he uttered a spell that had her screaming at the top of her lungs as they were trapped in a swirling wind. “Merlin, no!” Arthur tried to get to his feet, but he was too weak. He could only watch in horror as the vortex became a twisted, writhing form of darkness and light…ripping what could only be magic from their very souls creating a wave of power that rolled outward from their cores. A wave that washed over the land and hit Arthur full force then everything went black… Destiny Be Damned “My Lord, ” Arthur struggled to open his eyes as he heard a familiar voice. “Arthur…you’re alive, Merlin saved you, ” Percival said his huge hands trembling as he gently shook the king. “Merlin, ” Arthur said softly, “Merlin!” he shouted gripping Percival’ s arm. “Where is he?” he asked trying to see past his knight, but Percival was using his body to keep Arthur from seeing the aftermath of whatever Merlin had done to save him. “Let me up…let me go!” “Sire, don’ t…Arthur, he’s—he’ s gone, ” Percival choked on the words, “They are both gone.” “No!” Arthur said shoving the knight aside with surprising strength considering he had been on the ver ge of death. He pushed himself up of f the ground. Stumbling forward, he landed on his knees next to Merlin’ s motionless body . “Merlin, no, you cannot leave me. I was meant to die, not you. Dammit…Merlin, ” he shouted, dragging his friend into his arms and cradling him. “Merlin—Merlin please…come on. I need you!” Arthur pressed his fingers to Merlin’ s neck praying he would find a heartbeat but there was nothing. He pressed their foreheads together . A deep, guttural cry of grief came out of him startling Percival who hovered nearby uncertain of what to do for his king. “Merlin!” Arthur shouted shaking him, “Y ou idiot…why did you do this? Y ou did not have to die for me, I never wanted this. I am so sorry…so sorry, Merlin. I love you too…I never told you. I should have told you.” Percival swiped at his tears with the back of his hand, stunned by the king’ s words to Merlin. Everyone had known there was a unique and powerful bond between Arthur and Merlin, but to hear Arthur express it in such a way was heart-wrenching. Arthur held Merlin, rocking him gently, his hand splayed wide across his chest. He shook his head tears streaming down his face. He spared a glance at Mor gana, his dead sister, and realized that he felt no anger only sadness and regret. He had let her down, failed her in every way imaginable. He failed her and he had failed Merlin. “I’m sorry—so sorry, ” Arthur choked drawing Merlin against him. He got his feet underneath him and stood up, lifting Merlin from the ground. Percival stepped forward to help him, but the king shook his head. “No, ” Arthur said then carried Merlin toward the lake. “Your Highness, ” Percival said, “Y ou cannot carry him…it’ s too far .” “I must get Merlin to A valon, the Sidhe will heal him…bring him back to me, ” Arthur said, his voice edged with determination. “I cannot lose him.” “Sire, look!” Percival said pointing up into the sky . Arthur looked up as the Great Dragon soared overhead. “My sword!” he bellowed as he gently lowered Merlin to the ground. The dragon circled once then landed in front of them his eyes focused on Merlin and only Merlin. “Merlin?” the dragon said, startling Arthur and Percival. “You can speak?” Arthur asked. “Yes, King Arthur, ” the dragon rumbled. “What do you want? What business do you have here?” “Merlin…he is dead.” “He—he gave his life for me. I do not know what he did. Mor gana…” “The witch is dead, ” the dragon growled. “Yes, magic…” The dragon bowed his head. “Y oung W arlock, I never meant for this…” he said, “This was not your destiny, Merlin.” Arthur stared at the massive creature and for some reason, he felt no fear . There was obviously something…a bond between him and Merlin that he clearly did not understand and at the moment he did not want to know . “Can you help him?” Arthur asked, desperation in his voice. “I cannot…perhaps if he still had his magic, but it is gone. His immortality is gone.” “Immortality?” Arthur asked, his mouth dropping open, “Y ou’re saying he was meant to live forever, and he gave it all up for me?” “Yes, King Arthur, ” the dragon said, “Y ou were meant to die, and Merlin was meant to live on, waiting for your return when Albion needed you most.” Arthur dropped to his knees next to Merlin and caressed his cheek. “Merlin, dammit, ” he choked on his breath and tears slid down his face again. “Y ou weren’ t supposed to die for me.” “There is nothing you can do, Great King, ” the dragon said, “Merlin is gone.” “What was that? What did he do?” Arthur asked. “The spell Merlin used to destroy the witch, it separated them both from their magic forcing it from their souls and casting it out over the land. It healed you, healed me…I was dying. It is why I was unable to come when Merlin called me.” “Called you?” Percival asked the question before Arthur could get it out. “Merlin is—was the last of his kind…the last of the Dragonlords. Like his father before him.” “His father? Balinor was Merlin’ s father?” Arthur asked, his eyes wide. “Yes, Arthur, ” the dragon said, “His gift was passed down to Merlin when he died.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “So many secrets…such a heavy burden he carried. And for what?” “For you, King Arthur .” “This cannot be. I cannot lose him…he’ s my friend!” “And yet it is done. Merlin made his choice. He chose to die for you.” “I did not ask for this. I would never…please, there must be someone who can bring him back.” “I am sorry, there is nothing that can be done. His magic is gone from his body .” Arthur lifted Merlin from the ground and looked up at the dragon. “If I can get him to Avalon, the Sidhe could heal him.” The dragon shook his head, “The Sidhe are powerful, but even they cannot bring Merlin back. I am truly sorry, Arthur . Merlin is gone. W ithout his magic…” “Then bring it back!” Arthur shouted. “It has been returned to where it came from.” “Where is that?” “The earth…the sky…the sea, ” the dragon said, “Merlin was born with magic…he was magic. W ithout it, he cannot exist.” Arthur struggled to hold on to Merlin’ s body refusing Percival’ s continued attempts to help. He looked up at the dragon. “I am supposed to just let him go?” he asked. “I am afraid you have no other choice.” Arthur dropped to his knees again holding Merlin in his arms. His hands trembling. He shook his head slowly then pressed his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender kiss. He choked back a sob and gathered Merlin close. “Gods, I am so sorry, Merlin…please for give me, ” he gasped. “For give me…” he cried out, gently shaking his friend’ s lifeless body . The sound of an approaching rider had Percival drawing his sword. He crept slowly back in the direction they had come thinking it could be one of Mor gana’ s Saxons. Instead, a figure emer ged from the woods and stopped cold as he saw them. “Arthur!” Gwaine exclaimed and Percival nearly dropped his sword in shock, “Arthur, thank the Gods you’re alive.” “Gwaine, you were…you were dead, ” Percival stuttered. “Yes, and then I wasn’ t, ” Gwaine grinned, but as he came closer, he saw who Arthur was holding in his arms. “Merlin…Merlin, no, no, no, ” he choked stumbling forward and dropping to his knees beside his best friends. “What—what happened?” he asked. “Merlin…” Arthur choked, unable to get the words out. “Merlin’ s magic was released, ” the dragon responded instead, and Gwaine barely looked at him, “It healed me and apparently brought you back to life, Sir Gwaine.” “Dammit, Merlin, I knew it…I knew you were special, ” Gwaine said, his shoulders vibrating as tears pooled in his eyes, “Y ou cannot be dead.” “It’s all my fault, ” Arthur whispered shaking his head. “Mor gana?” Gwaine asked. “Dead, ” Percival said. “Merlin killed her, and he destroyed himself in the process. For me.” He smiled sadly as he tenderly stroked Merlin’ s face then smoothed his dark hair . “I will honor you, Merlin. I will be the king you saw in me all along…I will do it for you…” He closed his eyes tightly against the tears and shook his head. “Merlin…” he sobbed and Gwaine reached over to place a comforting hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “Arthur, ” Percival said, “Should we take Merlin home now?” Arthur looked up at him then the dragon and shook his head. “No, Merlin is magic. I will not see him burn on a funeral pyre in the square. W e will take him to the lake. Something deep inside me says that is where he belongs.” “Gwaine and I will round up the horses and take you there, ” Percival nodded then he and Gwaine headed back into the woods. “You are right, Arthur, ” the dragon said, “A valon is where Merlin belongs.” “You said there was a prophecy that I would return, and he would be waiting for me.” “That is true.” “Then it is possible he could return as I would have. I will wait for him, ” Arthur said, his eyes filled with intense emotion. “Arthur…” the dragon shook his head. “I will wait for him!” “Very well, Great King.” Arthur looked at Merlin again and nodded, “I will wait for you, Merlin. As long as it takes.” The sky was a blazing fire, the sun was setting over the Lake of A valon as Merlin’ s body was laid out on a bed of reeds, greenery, and flowers in a wooden boat. Arthur stood on the shore with his sword in hand, the sword Merlin had made for him. For ged in a dragon’ s breath… Kilgharrah told him the truth about its creation and its purpose. Merlin had given him the sword when he needed it most, helped him to find his confidence again…to believe in himself when all things seemed hopeless. He held it reverently, the blade glowing in the light of the sunset. “Arthur, ” Gwaine said, looking at him intently, “Ready?” Arthur approached the boat and looked down at Merlin, “I will see you again, Merlin.” He brushed his hand along the side of his face then leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s. He stepped back and after Gwaine and Percival said their goodbyes, they pushed the boat of f the shore then the three of them watched it drift out on the current. The Great Dragon flew overhead swooping down to set the boat on fire and Arthur ’s stood there watching it burn, feeling like his heart was shattered. Not even the pull of Camelot and the longing to see Guinevere again could make him leave that spot at that moment. His Merlin was gone…the other half of his soul. He felt the pang of regret and loss, but more than that he longed to be able to tell Merlin what he truly meant to him. No one would ever be able to fill the void he left behind. Percival and Gwaine were reluctant to leave him alone, but finally walked back to their camp and the warmth of the fire, and Arthur was left to his grief watching the boat burn and vanish beneath the water ’s surface. “Arthur, ” a woman’ s voice called out, seeming to come from the lake, “Arthur, do not worry . I shall watch over him for he was my love as well.” “Who are you?” he asked. “I am Freya, Arthur, Merlin saved me, he loved me, and he loved you, My King.” Arthur smiled, his eyes shining in the waning light. “T ell him…” he said his voice breaking. “He knows, Arthur…he has always known.” “Thank you.” “Live well and honor his sacrifice, Arthur .” “I will, I swear, ” he nodded, “Freya, will he ever return?” “That I do not know, ” she said. “Of course, ” Arthur said softly then slowly turned and walked toward the camp. His wound may have been healed, but he still felt like he had a gaping hole in the middle of his chest. A hole that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Gwaine looked up at him as he approached, and Arthur could see the haunted look in his eyes. He had died and come back and his best friend who brought him back was dead. They would never get over the loss of Merlin. No one in Camelot would. “I’m not even going to ask if you’re all right, ” Gwaine said as Arthur sat down across the fire from him. “I know you’re not because I’m definitely not, and Merlin…” his voice trailed of f as tears pooled in his eyes and he ran a hand through his long hair . Arthur gave him a sad smile and nodded, “One thing…when I went to the Perilous Lands, the man on the bridge called me Courage and said that in order to complete my quest I would need Strength and Magic…now I know what he meant. I needed you and Merlin…Strength and Magic.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh and nodded wiping the tears from his eyes. “Part of me wishes I was still dead…I would gladly die so Merlin could live.” “No, Gwaine…” Percival said softly . “Merlin would want you to live, ” Arthur said as he added wood to the fire. “The selfless idiot, ” Gwaine shook his head his lips parting in a fond smile. “Gwaine, you took Merlin somewhere…before the battle, ” Arthur said and Gwaine nodded. “Yes, he was searching for something. I knew something was wrong. W e went to the V alley of the Fallen Kings, to a cave. Along the way, we were attacked by bandits, and Merlin was knocked to the ground. He cried out for me, his voice filled with such fear…I had never seen him so afraid, so uncertain.” “A cave?” Percival asked, “Y ou mean the Crystal Cave…” “You know of it?” “Only the stories. It was said that the place was magical…actually the birthplace of all magic.” “Why did Merlin go there?” Arthur asked. “He must have been looking for magic, ” Gwaine said, “The panic he felt when the bandits attacked, he must have lost his magic and needed to get it back before he could join you at Camlann, Arthur . It is the only thing that makes sense. I asked him how he would get back to Camelot without me to protect him, he told me that if he found what he was looking for, he would be perfectly safe.” “Gods, I was such a fool, ” Arthur shook his head, “Before he left, he told me that he had vital supplies to obtain for Gaius…I didn’ t believe him.” Running his fingers through his hair he let out a pained sound. “I all but called him a coward…all because he would not be coming with me. I was so stupid. I should have known…” “You can’ t blame yourself, Arthur, ” Gwaine said. “The look in his eyes…I really hurt him. I should have realized he was in trouble, but I was too focused on my own selfish needs.” “Why didn’ t he just tell us?” Gwaine asked shaking his head, “W e were his best friends. W e would have protected him.” “I asked him that, ” Arthur said, “And he told me he was afraid that I would chop of f his head. That he never wanted to put me in a position to have to choose between Camelot’ s laws and him. T o be forced to lie to my father for him.” “You would have done so gladly, ” Percival frowned, “Y ou would never have let any harm come to him.” “It is my fault for not telling him what he meant to me.” “You should have knighted him, ” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “Sir Merlin, ” Percival huf fed a laugh. Gwaine fell silent staring into the flames. Arthur poked at the fire with a stick. Merlin’ s constant prattle used to fill the silence. Now, it was just silence…an overwhelming, dark, and cold silence. The king closed his eyes reaching into his memories for moments to fill the void. He chuckled softly and shook his head. “Merlin, ” Arthur said, tears glinting in his eyes even as he was overcome with mirth. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, fearing his friend was crossing the line into madness. “Merlin…the old sorcerer was Merlin. I just remembered when he was captured and brought in front of my father . He called him a stupid arrogant old tyrant right to his face. He saved Guinevere from the pyre, almost getting himself burned at the stake instead, and the entire time I thought he was in the tavern.” Gwaine chuckled, “Y ou know he was rarely ever in the tavern.” “I realize that now . All the times I thought he was drinking himself stupid he was using magic to save me and Camelot.” Percival returned then, having gone to gather more wood. He dropped it on the ground and sat down. “Y ou’re telling me, that old sorcerer in the battle was Merlin?” he asked. “Yes, Dragoon, he was Merlin…and the Dolma, ” Arthur laughed. “The Dolma?” Gwaine asked. “The sorceress at the Cauldron of Arianrhod where we took Guinevere to free her of Morgana’ s dark magic. Merlin could not use his magic in front of me and he could not be Dragoon for obvious reasons, so he became an old woman.” “Merlin turned himself into a woman?” Percival asked raising an eyebrow . “Not sure if he actually was a woman or just looked like one, but he was convincing, ” Arthur smiled, “No wonder The Dolma got upset when we nearly for got Merlin.” “You for got him, ” Gwaine said. “Not exactly, well yes, but in my own defense, my mind was on Guinevere and getting her back to Camelot. I came so close to losing her . Merlin knew even before I did that something was wrong with her . He always knew .” “Because he was a servant, ” Percival said. “Servants are invisible, they see things that others miss, ” Gwaine shrugged. “That and he knew Guinevere well, she was his first friend in Camelot, ” Arthur shook his head. “So many things make sense now that didn’ t before. How did I not realize that he had magic?” “I knew there was something about him. I even remember the man at the bridge calling him Magic, but I didn’ t put it all together until now, ” Gwaine frowned. “How many times?” Percival asked, “How many times did Merlin save you?” “I don’ t know, ” Arthur said then tossed his stick on the fire, “I guess now I’ll never know .” “I can’ t wait to get back to Camelot and drink myself into oblivion, ” Gwaine said. “Yeah, ” Percival nodded. “Gaius, ” Arthur shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes tightly, “How am I going to tell Gaius…Merlin was like a son to him. He is going to be devastated.” “I will tell him, ” Gwaine said. “No, it is my responsibility . I will tell him. Gods…Hunith…” “Merlin’ s mother . I could go to Ealdor, Arthur, ” Gwaine said. “This is going to kill her . Merlin was her entire world, ” Arthur dropped his head into his hands. “We will return to Camelot with you, Sire, then Gwaine and I can go to Ealdor to inform her.” Arthur ’s shoulders vibrated as a desperate and anguished cry slipped out before he could stop it. He brought his arms up hands clasped behind his neck as the dam broke and he came apart at the seams unable to stop the deluge. Gwaine got to his feet and moved to Arthur ’s side, “Arthur, it’s all right…just let it out.” Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions under control. “I can’ t—can’ t do this. I am the king…I should be stronger, ” he said as he rocked forward closing his eyes tightly . Gwaine wrapped his arm around Arthur ’s neck patting his chest. “You loved Merlin, Arthur, no one can expect you to hold all this in and not lose it. Better to let it out now when it is just us, yeah?” Arthur leaned into Gwaine, “I need him back…I want Merlin back.” “I know, ” Gwaine said meeting Percival’ s gaze, “W e will find a way to get through this.” “Drunken stupor?” Arthur asked. “If that’ s what it takes, ” Percival said, and Arthur attempted a smile. “He wasn’ t supposed to die…not for me…not like this.” “Merlin would have done anything for you, Arthur . You know that. Knowing now that he had magic, I am certain it was him that night in the square. He escaped from the dungeon and used magic to extinguish all the flames so he could slip by us in the darkness and get to you when you were dying from the poison. There is no other explanation. Merlin saved you that night then somehow made his way back to his cell without us noticing.” “I gave all the credit to Gaius, ” Arthur said rolling his eyes, “Gods, Merlin…” “The point is, Merlin would always choose death if it meant that you would live on to fulfill your destiny . He saw a chance and took it.” “Mor gana…she was my sister and yet I feel nothing for her .” “After all she did to you and your people, it is understandable, ” Percival said. “Merlin said he blamed himself for what she had become. Mor gana told him it was his decisions that brought us here…he had been so focused on protecting me that he brought about the very thing he was trying to prevent. When he and I went to the Disir, Merlin betrayed his own heart. He said I should not allow magic back in Camelot believing that Mordred would die. He wanted him to die because he knew he was destined to kill me.” “That is the way with prophecy, ” Percival said, “Just because it is foretold does not mean it will come to be.” “Mordred lived and Merlin was forced to remain in darkness hiding who he truly was, ” Arthur said, “I knew there was tension between the two of them, I had no idea why .” Gwaine frowned, “Leon and I interrupted something between them in the corridor one day they were in heated conversation. Mordred was clearly furious, he stormed of f. Merlin just said it was nothing, but we did not believe him.” Arthur closed his eyes for a moment then tilted his head back looking up at the night sky . “The burden Merlin was forced to carry on his shoulders. He must have felt so alone all these years…isolated. He had only Gaius and the damn dragon to turn to.” “Sire, you should try to get some sleep. W e can head back to Camelot at first light, ” Percival said. Arthur nodded, wiped his eyes then let out a ragged breath. Gwaine stood up, getting his bedroll laying it out next to the fire and Arthur laid down on it. It took hours for him to finally fall asleep. And in his dreams, he saw Merlin smiling. “Merlin, ” Arthur said in his sleep. Remember me, Arthur…r emember me and I will always be. Arthur jolted upright pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. Gwaine was awake keeping watch for Saxons that might still be in the area. “Arthur?” “I’m all right, just…” “What?” “Merlin…he spoke to me in my dream.” Gwaine smiled, “Y ou see, he will always be with you.” “I know he will be.” “The sun is coming up, Y our Highness, we should return to Camelot, ” Percival said as he got up to pack their few belongings and take care of the horses. “Ready?” Gwaine asked placing a hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “No, ” Arthur said getting to his feet anyway, “The thought of returning to Camelot without Merlin…it’ s just so hard to imagine not having him there. He became such an important part of the kingdom. People loved him.” “Then it is our job to make sure they never for get him and the sacrifices he made, ” Gwaine smiled. Arthur nodded his lips parting in a soft smile, “Let’ s go home.” “My Lady, ” Leon said as he burst into the council chambers, “The king…he has been seen approaching Camelot. He is with Gwaine and Percival. He is alive!” “Oh, thank God, ” Gwen gasped then followed Leon out, heading for the courtyard. She descended the steps just as Arthur rode through the gates coming toward her with Gwaine and Percival riding just a step behind. She watched the gates fully expecting to see Merlin. He had done it…he had saved Arthur . When Merlin did not appear, she met Arthur ’s gaze and her heart dropped. “No, no, not Merlin, ” she cried, shaking her head. Arthur dismounted and she immediately flew into his arms. He held her tightly burying his face in her dark hair to hide his grief from the people. She cupped the back of his head holding him, feeling every shudder…every barely restrained sob. “Arthur, ” Gwen said, “Shh, my love. Y ou are home…you are alive.” “Merlin…” Arthur choked. “He saved you.” “Guinevere, he was a sorcerer .” “I know, ” Gwen smiled through her tears, drawing back to frame his face with her hands, “I know he had magic. He was always by your side, protecting you. What happened, Arthur?” “Mor gana caught up to us, she…Merlin killed her, she is dead. He brought us peace, but it cost him his life. In destroying her, he destroyed himself. It wasn’ t supposed to be…it was not his destiny . I was meant to die, Guinevere.” “But you did not, and I am so happy and grateful. I could not live without you, Arthur . Merlin gave his life for you and for that he will be honored.” “I want him back.” “I know, so do I, Arthur . Come inside, let’ s get you some food and you can rest.” Arthur shook his head, “There is something I must do first. I need to tell Gaius. And I need to write a letter to Hunith. Gwaine and Percival are going to ride to Ealdor to…to tell her that her son is dead.” “Sire, ” Leon said, “I will go. Gwaine and Percival need food and rest as well. I will leave immediately .” “Very well, ” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her…tell her that I am sorry . Gods, I should go…I should be there. Merlin was my best friend. I should be the one…” Leon put a hand on Arthur's shoulder, “You are clearly exhausted, My Lord, let me do this for you. I will bring Hunith back with me then you can speak with her in person.” “All right, Leon, thank you. T ake a few men with you. I do not want you going alone.” “We will leave within the hour, Arthur, ” Leon gave a nod then watched as Arthur climbed the steps with Gwen’ s arms around him. Percival and Gwaine gave Leon a grateful nod and then followed. Hearing the commotion in the square, Gaius was just coming around the corner when Gwen and Arthur came up the stairs and Arthur stopped when he saw him. The old physician looked past them and shook his head. “Where is Merlin?” he asked. “Gaius…” Arthur said his voice soft, eyes shining with tears, “Merlin…” “No, no, it can’ t be, ” Gaius gasped, “Not Merlin…” “I’m so sorry, Gaius. He saved me. Merlin—Merlin is gone…he’ s dead.” Gaius stumbled back a step to lean against the wall, clutching his chest. Gwaine and Arthur both rushed forward to steady him and ease him down onto a bench. His hands were shaking violently as he closed his eyes. “What—what happened?” he asked. Arthur crouched down in front of him and grasped his shoulder . “Mor gana caught up to us. Merlin did something, I am not exactly sure what, but Kilgharrah said that his magic and Morgana’ s was returned to the earth the sea, and the sky . Merlin gave up his magic and his immortality…for me. I am so sorry, Gaius. It was not supposed to happen like this. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gaius shook his head, “I should have known. Merlin always said he would gladly die for you, Arthur . He loved you.” “I know—I know he did. He told me, ” Arthur said, gently squeezing Gaius’ shoulder . “Did he suf fer?” Gaius asked his voice breaking. Arthur shook his head, “It all happened so fast. I tried to get to him, but this wave of magic…it washed over the land. It healed me and Kilgharrah and it brought Gwaine back to life. God knows what else it did. I have never seen anything like it, Gaius.” “I had no idea Merlin even knew of such a spell, ” Gaius said. “Leon is riding out with some men within the hour to Ealdor .” “I should go with them, ” Gaius said, “Hunith trusted me to protect her son and I failed.” “No, Gaius, it was I who failed, ” Arthur said, “Not you. I should have known long ago…I should have seen the burden Merlin carried. No one is to blame but me.” “Arthur, it was I who ur ged Merlin to hide his magic. I wanted to keep him safe.” “And you did, Gaius. Y ou took him in, and you were there for him when no one else was. You treated him like a son, and I know he was grateful for that. I know the truth now, about his magic, about Balinor . I for gave him, I accepted him, and I told him as much before he died. My only regret is I did not tell him how much he meant to me, and how much I loved him. For Merlin, I am going to lift the ban on magic. And while I know it is of little consolation, I want to honor him and his sacrifice. Merlin will never be for gotten, and the people will know who he truly was and what he meant to their king.” “Thank you, Arthur, ” Gaius nodded, tears in his eyes, “Merlin wanted so badly for you to see him for who he was, and you should know that it pained him to keep his secret, from you especially .” “Merlin once asked me if I would call him a hero if he died. I should have told him then, but I was a fool. I failed to appreciate him. He was always there for me. Magic aside, he was the one person I knew I could always count on. He was a hero in every way .” “For what it is worth, Sire, Merlin felt the same. Even though he kept his secret, he did trust you. He gave all that he was for you.” “I know, ” Arthur nodded then looked at Gwaine and Percival, “Could you two please take Gaius to his chambers then once he is settled get some rest yourselves.” “Yes, Sire, ” Percival nodded. “If you need me, ” Gwaine said to Arthur . “I’ll be all right, go now, ” Arthur nodded then watched the three men walk away before turning to Guinevere. She stepped into his embrace kissing him tenderly . “Come, Arthur let’ s get you cleaned up and fed then you will rest, ” Gwen smiled cupping his cheek, “I am so glad you are home.” “So am I, ” Arthur said then let her lead him toward their chambers. Truth and Honor Arthur stood at the wall where he and Merlin had stood so many times. The place where he had said goodbye to his servant before he left to return to Ealdor all those years ago to save his village from Kanen and his bandits. He smiled as he remembered walking across the grass, acting like children pushing and bumping shoulders as they took of f running… friends…best friends. The sun was just coming up, Arthur had been awake all night. Every time he closed his eyes to sleep he saw Merlin dying over and over again. He missed him, his laugh…but then Merlin had not really laughed in so long. How had he not noticed? It was not just the magic Arthur had been oblivious to, but the loneliness, pain, and loss. The overwhelming weight of their shared destiny had been carried by Merlin alone. Arthur bowed his head. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a piece of cloth, faded blue, shabby yet beautiful. Merlin’ s scarf…he had found it in his room, it was the one his servant had been wearing the night he nearly died after throwing himself between Arthur and the Doracha. It still smelled like wood, herbs, and Merlin. The king smiled clutching it in his hand as tears slid down his face. “Arthur…” Arthur flinched, turning to see Gwaine standing behind him his face etched with worry and understanding. Arthur shook his head. “The queen sent me to look for you, ” Gwaine said. “You found me, ” Arthur responded, his voice sounding hollow even to his own ears. “You’ve been up here all night?” “No, just a couple of hours. Couldn’ t sleep.” “Gwen said you never returned to your chambers.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I sat in his room for hours. Been wandering the castle most of the night. Merlin was such a presence here…everything just feels wrong without him. He touched so many lives. How are we supposed to just go on without him? It’ s not right.” “I heard Gaius is staying in a room at the inn, ” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “He is heartbroken. I fear for his health.” “And you?” Gwaine asked. Arthur met his gaze and shook his head, “How did I not see it? He was always there for me. How did I not see that he had grown so callous, so focused on keeping me safe? Gwaine, he changed, and I missed it. I should have been there for him. Maybe…maybe if I had, he would still be here…instead of lying on the bottom of that godforsaken lake.” “Arthur, you are not the only one who failed Merlin, ” Gwaine said, “He was my best friend too, and I did not see it either . I was so focused on my duties as a Knight of Camelot, drinking in the tavern, gambling, and pretty girls. I should have been there for him too, and I wasn’ t.” “Yet it was you he turned to for help when he lost his magic, and when Gaius was kidnapped, because I refused to listen. Lancelot…you…he could not come to me for help because I was an arrogant prat who refused to take his worries and his warnings seriously . He was forced to fight his battles in secret.” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur, folding his arms across his chest as he turned and leaned back against the wall. “Why didn’ t you listen to him?” “Because I was a fool. I took him for granted. I could not see past my own pride to accept that Merlin was far more intelligent and discerning than I was. He was always better at observing and reading people. People like Agravaine…Merlin knew he was working against me. He tried to warn me, and I did not listen.” Arthur shook his head fighting his emotions, “I have a sick feeling that Merlin was forced to deal with him when it should have been me.” “What do you mean?” Gwaine asked. “Looking back now, when we were in the tunnels near Ealdor, Merlin went back to create a distraction, to give us time to escape. I think Merlin killed him.” Arthur leaned forward resting his hands on the top of the wall and shook his head. “How many times was Merlin forced to kill for me? His innocence was lost…his morals became blurred, his smile faded, and I failed to notice.” “We all did, Arthur . Merlin was very adept at hiding, not just his magic, but his pain and fear as well. When he found me in Engerd and asked for my help when you had gone to the Perilous Lands, I saw then how devoted to you he was…how far he would go to make sure you survived whatever threat you faced.” “The Doracha, ” Arthur said softly, “Merlin threw himself at them. He was terrified, but he did not even hesitate…you know he of fered to take my place, to sacrifice himself. If Lancelot had not stepped through first, Merlin would have.” “I guess now we know how he survived their attack…his magic and his immortality, ” Gwaine huf fed and shook his head. “Y ou think Lancelot knew about his magic?” “I am certain of it. Y ou weren’ t here when he first came to Camelot. He killed the Grif fin that was threatening the kingdom, now I know Merlin must have had a hand in it. Gaius said the only way it could be killed was with magic and the two of them were thick as thieves from the beginning.” “Makes sense.” “So many things make sense now . Falling branches, wild winds coming out of nowhere, bandits falling of f horses for no reason or getting tripped up, the impenetrable forest, the immortal army just exploding into nothing.” “The damn W yverns, ” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin was a Dragonlord.” Arthur nodded, “Merlin, found and lost his father within a day and I had no idea. He hid his grief, buried it, and was still by my side when I faced the dragon. He stopped Kilgharrah from continuing his attack on Camelot. Gods, I was an idiot. I could not figure out why Merlin was so upset over the death of Balinor, a man he had only just met. I still remember the look on his face when he turned around…” “Arthur, you can stand out here and continue to mentally flog yourself for mistakes that can never be fixed, or you can pull yourself together and do what you promised. Honor Merlin’ s memory…free magic so people like him can finally come out of the shadows and stop living in fear . That is the best way you can begin to make amends.” “You’re right, Gwaine, ” Arthur nodded, “Thank you.” “No problem.” “You are a good man and a loyal friend. I know I gave you a hard time over the years, but I want you to know that I appreciate all you have done for me, for Merlin, for the kingdom.” Gwaine smiled and shrugged, “I wouldn’ t have it any other way .” “Are we still on for that drunken stupor?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Absolutely, we will have a few…or a dozen for Merlin too.” “That night in the tavern, before Camlann, when Merlin took all my money, ” Arthur chuckled, “Do you think he cheated?” “Oh, most definitely, ” Gwaine laughed, “I know I would have if I had his gift.” “Will we ever know all he did?” “Doubtful, but then it doesn’ t really matter . Merlin was a hero.” “Would you join me for breakfast, Gwaine?” “I’d be honored, ” he smiled. They turned and walked across the grass. It was just before sunset when the bonfire was lit outside the walls of the city . People came from the lower town, outlying villages, and even neighboring kingdoms. Arthur stood beside the fire with Guinevere on his arm staring into the flames as they grew higher and higher reaching into the sky . Knights, squires, servants, merchants, and peasants all gathered around, little children brought flowers and precious stones, placing them on top of a low wall that stood close to the flames. “Arthur, ” Gwen choked back a sob and he wrapped his arms around her, “It’s so beautiful.” “If only Merlin could see this, ” he said fighting his own tears. Merlin deserved this honor and more. He was stunned when people began to come forward telling stories about Merlin, his good deeds, his courage, his strength, and his loyalty . Some told stories of how he had saved the life of a loved one, and others had funny stories about Merlin’ s antics and his clumsiness. The cook told everyone how Merlin always helped her in the kitchen even though he had his own duties. She admitted giving him extra sweets hoping to put some meat on his bones and everyone laughed tearfully . It was at that moment when Arthur saw Hunith step into the circle of light, her eyes red from crying, her hands trembling. Leon was beside her, his hand on her elbow as they approached. Arthur let go of Gwen, moving toward Merlin’ s mother then gathered her into his arms. “Arthur, ” Hunith gasped and broke down crying again. “I’m so sorry, Hunith, for give me, ” Arthur choked as she drew back, cupping his cheek and shaking her head. “There is nothing to for give, Arthur, ” she smiled through her tears, “Merlin…my boy, he loved you more than anything. I do not blame you.” “It should have been me. Merlin should be here.” “No, Arthur…Merlin’ s magic was for you. He was born to serve you.” “He told me as much, ” Arthur laughed softly even as tears slid down his face. “Merlin gave his life so you could be the great king he always knew you would be, ” Hunith said then glanced over at Gwen, “Camelot will thrive, and Merlin’ s death will not be in vain.” “I am going to lift the ban on magic, Hunith, so no one will have to live in fear the way Merlin did…the way you did, always trying to keep him safe. I am just sorry I did not do it sooner . I let my father ’s hate, fear, and indoctrination blind me to the truth about sorcery . I can see now that it is not magic that is inherently evil, that evil is in the hearts of man. Merlin taught me that.” “All that matters is what you do from now forward, Great King, ” Hunith said, “Remember Merlin, remember his sacrifices and how much he loved you. He may be gone, but he can still guide you.” She looked around at all the faces and smiled, wiping her eyes, “Thank you all, thank you for coming to honor my son’ s memory .” Holding on to Hunith’ s hand, Arthur took a deep breath, he looked at her then at Guinevere and his knights. “Many of you know that Merlin and I did not get of f to a great start, ” Arthur said with a slight grin, and many people chuckled and nodded, “The fool wasn’ t even in Camelot a day and he chose to challenge the Prince of Camelot, called me out for bullying my servant. I found myself strangely drawn to this peasant with a death wish. There was just something about Merlin that I couldn’ t put my finger on. I am ashamed to admit that I challenged him to a mace fight in the market, not one of my finest moments. Merlin nearly beat me too, though he admitted to me very recently that he used magic to do so. Then unbeknownst to anyone, he used it again to save my life and ended up as my manservant as a reward.” Arthur laughed softly, looking around at his people. “Having Merlin in my life changed me, made me a better man, a better prince, and ultimately the king that I am today . Despite the dif ference in our status, he never once treated me differently . He saw through my façade, let me know all of my flaws and just what he thought of my title and my arrogance, ” he grinned, rolling his eyes as he glanced up at the night sky for a moment. The people laughed and Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions in check before he could continue. He let go of Hunith’ s hand taking a few steps forward as she nodded reassuringly, and in that gesture, Arthur found the strength he needed to say what was truly in his heart. “Merlin, lived in fear every day, battled foes we never knew about and some that we did. Camelot would not be standing if it weren’ t for his courage, strength, and tenacity . Merlin was forced to hide who he truly was for far too long. I myself only found out about his magic when he told me after the battle at Camlann. At first, I was angry and hurt that he had not trusted me with his greatest secret, but I realized that he only did it to protect me and the people he loved, the people of this kingdom and beyond. He gave all of himself, risking life and limb and even his humanity for all of us. I hope I can be the king Merlin saw in me, even when I was, as he so loved to point out, an arrogant, pompous dollop head, ” he grinned, and everyone laughed. “Don’ t forget Clotpole, ” Gwaine shouted. “And cabbage head, ” Leon laughed. “Royal prat, ” Percival chuckled. “Yes, how could I for get, ” Arthur smirked. “I want to thank each and every one of you for coming here tonight. It means a lot to Merlin’ s mother, to me, to Gaius, and all his friends. Merlin will not be for gotten. He will live on in all of us. I know I will never for get him, and I will never stop missing him. He was the other half of my soul, and his loss has left a gaping hole that will never be filled.” “Two sides of the same coin, ” Hunith smiled through her tears then brought Arthur ’s hand up to her lips. Arthur nodded and hugged her tightly . The rest of the evening was filled with tears, laughter, food, drink, and endless stories. Hunith went to be with Gaius as the old physician lingered silently on the edge of the firelight clearly struggling with his grief. Gwen excused herself and Leon accompanied her back into the castle, but not before she made sure that Arthur knew he did not have to follow until he was ready . Arthur was stunned to see Princess Mithian walking toward him, tears in her eyes as she shook her head. “Arthur, I am so deeply sorry, I know what Merlin meant to you. He was a good man.” “Mithian, I didn’ t expect that you would travel all this way to be here. Thank you for coming.” “Merlin was special to me as well, Arthur . I did not say anything at the time because obviously did not want to get Merlin into trouble, but I know for certain that it was he who caused the tremor that saved all of us. I caught a glimpse of his eyes as he uttered words of a spell then struck the ground with his hand.” Arthur nodded, “Unexplainable things happened around Merlin all the time and I was too stupid to see it.” “Not stupid, Arthur, ” Mithian said then kissed his cheek, “I will be forever grateful to Merlin and to you for all you did. My father and I, we owe you both our lives.” “How is King Rodor?” “He is doing as well as can be expected for a man of his age. He sends his regards.” “I hope you will stay on a few days, ” Arthur said, “I would love to talk to you about lifting the ban on magic and get your input. I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and your people.” “I would be delighted, ” Mithian said, “I should like to get to know your beautiful queen better, as the last time we were here…” “Yes, Guinevere will be happy to have a woman to talk to.” “It is good to see you again, Arthur . I just wish it were under better circumstances. I can see how hard it is for you to lose Merlin.” “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “I miss him.” “I know, ” she said then clasped his hands, “If there is anything I can do for you, please ask. “Thank you, Mithian, ” Arthur smiled, kissing her cheek then she moved toward the fire. He glanced over and spotted Queen Annis riding in with her knights. He approached them as she slid to the ground and reached for his hand. “Arthur, ” Annis said, “I heard what happened. I am so deeply sorry .” “Thank you for coming, Annis, ” Arthur smiled. “Of course, ” the queen said, “I want you to know that I am behind you on lifting the ban on magic. It is time for the ways of Uther Pendragon to change. Magic should be accepted again and people able to live in peace, without fear . “I appreciate that, Annis, ” Arthur said then motioned toward the food. Y ou have had a long journey please eat, drink, and I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and Princess Mithian.” “Ah yes, I am starving, ” the queen winked at him then waved to her knights to take care of the horses and joined in the festivities. Arthur walked amongst the people and then returned to the bonfire. He added more wood as Gwaine came to stand next to him. “I always knew that Merlin was well loved, ” Gwaine smiled, “But this is just amazing.” “I wish he could see it, ” Arthur said swiping at his eyes. “Maybe he can.” “I want him back.” “So do I, Arthur…so do I.” “Are you all right?” Gwaine shrugged, “I’m alive.” “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “And I am glad of that. I could not have gotten through this without your help, thank you.” “You’re welcome.” “Come on let’ s get a drink, ” Arthur said, draping his arm around Gwaine’ s shoulders. The days that followed were filled with council meetings, kingdom negotiations, and citizen concerns with the prospect of magic being allowed in Camelot again, some of whom had magic and were still afraid to use it openly . Arthur could not help but think about Merlin and how hard it must have been for him to hide, especially considering just how powerful he was. T o suppress his magic, to control it, and use it without being caught. “Arthur, ” Gwen said. “Yes?” “Do you want to talk about it…about Merlin?” Arthur shook his head, “I’m sorry .” “You do not have to apologize, Arthur…not to me.” “How did you handle it? When Gaius told you…” he asked, his voice trailing of f. “Merlin was your friend too. Y ou must have felt betrayed on some level, as I did.” Gwen sat down at the table, reaching out to take hold of his hand. “Gaius merely confirmed what I had already suspected. I knew Merlin would never have left your side unless there was something of vital importance. He loved you more than anything and anyone, Arthur . When I saw that old sorcerer on the clif fs and Gaius admitted to knowing who he was, I started to piece together the past. My father ’s miraculous recovery, all the times you were pulled back from the brink of death, the times I was saved from execution, so many things began to make sense once I added the element of magic. Merlin had magic.” “When he told me, ” Arthur said, “I reacted badly . I ordered him to leave me.” “And yet he didn’ t, ” Gwen smiled. “The way I treated him…I did not deserve his loyalty, his friendship…he should have hated me.” Gwen laughed softly, and Arthur looked at her curiously . “Arthur, you for get I was there in the beginning. I saw how you and Merlin were instantly drawn to each other . Tell me, that day on the training field, when you two first met…if Merlin had been any other peasant, what would you have done?” Arthur nodded and smiled, “I would have hauled him in front of my father . Probably made sure he was banished or at the very least locked up for a month.” “And yet you didn’ t. Not even when he stood his ground in the market the next day and fought you. Arthur, you, and Merlin were always meant to stand together, side by side as equals.” “That’ s just it though, Guinevere, I never treated him as an equal. Even that last day, before I left for Camlann when he told me that he would not be coming with me, I called him a coward. I am ashamed of the way I belittled him, and I refused to listen when he tried to tell me that Agravaine was working against me. When Cedric was possessed by Sigan and countless other times. All the years he fought for me and for Camelot and received nothing, asked for nothing.” “Arthur, Merlin served you, protected you, and guided you out of a strong sense of duty, destiny, and most of all out of love. I may be your wife and your queen, but I always knew there was a deep bond between the two of you that I could never hope to compete with. He loved you and you loved him, ” Gwen smiled taking hold of both his hands. Arthur shook his head and let out a breath, “I couldn’ t…” “But you did. I have known that ever since the night you risked everything to find the Mortaeus flower . To save the life of a young man you could not bear to lose. He became a part of you. I saw the look on your face when he fell to the floor after drinking that wine. You did not stop to think about station or status, all you cared about was Merlin. Everyone saw it and they were proud of you for doing what was good and right.” Arthur got up from his chair and walked to the windows looking out over the courtyard as the sun set, watching his people heading for their homes, to join their families around the hearth. He lowered his head, running his fingers through his blonde hair . “Arthur, you can talk to me. I will not judge you.” “I know, Guinevere, I am trying. It is just so hard because I kept these feelings buried for so long. I never allowed myself to…” his voice broke of f. Gwen got up moving to embrace him. She cupped his cheek and smiled. “Just say it, ” she whispered, “Say what is in your heart.” Arthur ’s eyes filled with tears, and he nodded, “I loved him, Guinevere…I loved him so much and I don’ t know how to be me without him at my side.” Gwen smiled, “I know, Arthur .” “How can you not feel betrayed?” “I have no right to feel betrayed. Y ou for get that I too know how it feels to love someone so deeply that you cannot be with.” “Lancelot, ” Arthur nodded lowering his gaze, “He was a better man than me.” “That is not true, Arthur . You were strong, noble, brave men who loved so fully . You both gave everything for Camelot and its people. I love you and I always will love Lancelot. Just as you will always love me and Merlin.” Arthur hugged her close, “I do love you my queen…my beautiful, understanding, and wise wife.” “Arthur, I have news, ” Gwen smiled brightly, “I wanted to wait to tell you when I was sure. Arthur, you are going to be a father…I am with child.” “Guinevere…” Arthur shook his head, his eyes wide, he let out a joyous cry and kissed her deeply . “That is wonderful!” “I wasn’ t certain how you would take the news with everything…I know it is a lot.” “I am going to be a father!” Arthur laughed. Gwen beamed up at him, stroking his cheek, “Y es, you are.” “I love you, Guinevere, so very much.” “I love you, Arthur .” “This is a new beginning, ” Arthur said with a slight nod, “Albion will live, and our child will be brought into a world of peace and prosperity . A world that I could not have achieved without Merlin. I need to find a way to honor him.” “Perhaps you could start by learning just how much he did for you…for me, and for Camelot.” “How do I even begin to do that?” Gwen smiled, “Start at the beginning…with Hunith. She is here in Camelot. And I believe that Gaius knows far more than he was ever able to reveal before.” “The Great Dragon…” Arthur said, and Gwen’ s eyes went wide with fear and confusion. “What does the dragon have to do with Merlin?” Arthur laughed, “Ah, yes, I guess I left that part out. The Great Dragon’ s name is Kilgharrah, and he is the one who told Merlin of our destiny . Do you remember when Merlin and I went in search of the Last Dragonlord to seek his help when Kilgharrah was attacking Camelot? Balinor was Merlin’ s father . When he died his gift was passed down to Merlin. Now that I look back, I think it was Merlin who released the dragon. The idiot.” “Arthur, the dragon is dead, isn’ t he?” “No, Merlin let me believe that I had mortally wounded him back then. The dragon was dying of old age though, and whatever Merlin did to destroy Mor gana it released a wave of magic over the land that not only healed me, but Kilgharrah as well, and it brought Gwaine back from the dead.” “Oh, the day before you returned?” Gwen asked her eyes going wide. “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “Merlin saved all that is precious to me when he ended Mor gana's reign of terror . He gave up his magic and his immortality for me.” “Immortality?” Gwen gasped. “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “I was meant to die, to return when Albion needed me most. Merlin was to live forever waiting for my return so he would be there to guide me and protect me as he did in this life.” “Oh, Arthur, ” Gwen said softly . “Now you can understand this guilt I feel. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gwen sat down hard on the chair and shook her head, “Arthur, if you were meant to die and one day return. Could that mean Merlin will one day return?” “I don’ t know . I need to find someone who can tell me. The dragon may be my only hope of finding out. Which means I need to find a way to bring him to me. I must talk to Gaius…or perhaps the Druids. Or I can speak to Merlin!” Arthur said, his eyes going wide. “How?” Gwen asked shaking her head. “The Horn of Cathbhadh, ” he said, “It is in the vaults. I could ride to the Great Stones of Nemeton and use it to summon Merlin.” “Are you certain that is wise, Arthur? Y ou remember what happened with your father .” “I will speak to Gaius, have him show me the proper way to do it, ” he looked at Gwen, “I love you. I am so happy about our child.” “Go, Arthur, ” she nodded and laughed, “Go speak with Gaius now .” “Are you sure, ” he asked. “I am sure. Y ou need to learn all you can about Merlin’ s sacrifice. I want our child to know him and all he did for us.” “I love you, ” Arthur said then kissed her tenderly before leaving their chambers. “My Lord, ” Gaius said as he opened the door to find Arthur standing on the other side his hands clasped behind him. “What brings you to my chambers?” “I came to see how you are doing and to ask a favor, ” Arthur said as he stepped inside the room which seemed darker than normal. Perhaps it was the lack of light or the lack of a certain someone’ s presence within its walls. “Gaius, I know what Merlin meant to you and I know that you protected him all these years.” “I did, Sire, ” Gaius said as he sat down at the table, returning to his dinner . He motioned to the other bench and Arthur sat down. “W ould you like some food?” “No, thank you.” “So, what can I do for you, Arthur?” “Gaius, you told me that one day I would learn, that I would understand just how much they had done for me. It was Merlin you spoke of back then. I know that now, and I need to know everything, Gaius. I need to know all that Merlin did for me and for Camelot. The only way that can happen is if I speak to Merlin.” Gaius barely flinched at the last part, nodding wearily . “And just how do you plan to do that?” “The Horn of Cathbhadh, ” Arthur said. “That is not possible, Arthur .” “It worked with my father .” “Only the spirits of your ancestors may be summoned by the horn. It will not work for Merlin.” Arthur ’s face fell and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Then how? I must speak with Merlin.” Gaius nodded, “The Horn will not help you, Sire.” “Gaius, please, I beg of you. I cannot move on without knowing the truth.” “Very well, ” Gaius nodded sadly, “I will tell you all I know . There is no reason not to, now that I no longer have to protect Merlin.” Arthur lowered his gaze, “Gaius, I am so sorry . If I could trade places with him, I would. If I could bring him back.” “Merlin would not want you to, Arthur . I think he always knew he would have to lay down his life for you in the end.” “I feel so empty, Gaius, ” Arthur said, “I don’ t know how to be me without Merlin. I owe him everything. I miss him, Gods…” Gaius let out a breath and gave Arthur a slight smile. “I know you do.” “I need to know what the prophecy says now that I have lived, and Merlin died. He was meant to live…I was meant to die. How can I call the dragon to me?” “You know about Kilgharrah, ” Gaius said raising an eyebrow . “Yes, he came to A valon after it all happened. He told me of the prophecy and Merlin’ s father . I figured out that it was Merlin who set Kilgharrah free all those years ago.” “He did, but only because the dragon had helped him to save you many times. Kilgharrah was exceptionally good at telling Merlin just enough and leaving out the parts he should have been told. The old dragon had his own aims. I only allowed Merlin to communicate with him because I knew they were both creatures of magic. They needed each other .” “My father kept him prisoner for two decades.” “Yes, Sire, ” Gaius said, “He believed that keeping Kilgharrah prisoner would set an example for any kingdoms who would ever think they could attack Camelot.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “That worked out well.” “Yes, but it did accomplish one thing, it struck fear in all those with magic. If your father could keep a magical beast prisoner, what could he do to them?” “My father was wrong, ” Arthur said, “He was wrong about everything. Magic is not evil. Perhaps if I had known that then, I would have had time to save Mor gana.” “Mor gana’ s magic was far dif ferent from Merlin’ s. Her magic emer ged at first through her dreams…nightmares. She saw things in them that eventually came to be. Things that were avoided because Merlin was able to stop them.” “Sophia?” Arthur said letting out a breath, “I knew there was more to that story .” “Mor gana saw her drown you in her dreams. Merlin tried to get through to you to keep you from going with Sophia and Aulfric. They were Sidhe in human form. Condemned to live a mortal life for killing another Sidhe. Their only way back to A valon was to sacrifice you. Merlin was nearly killed when Aulfric slammed him into the wall in your chambers. When I found him, he was in pain and disoriented. Y et he still ran all the way to A valon to stop them and save you.” Arthur shook his head, “How many times did he nearly die for me?” “Too many to count I’m afraid, ” Gaius frowned. “I remember, Mor gana dreamed of the Questing Beast…she was terrified.” “Yes, she saw you die.” “How did I survive? The bite was supposed to be fatal. And for that matter the beast itself, I know I did not kill it.” “Merlin did. W ith the same spell that he used on Lancelot’ s lance so he could kill the Griffin. Merlin enchanted your sword and drove it into the heart of the beast killing it. When they brought you back to Camelot, there was little hope. Merlin went to the dragon who told him he would need to go to the Isle of the Blessed. That he would need the magic of the old religion to save you. Nimueh was there. She gave him water from the Cup of Life, and in exchange, he bar gained his own life. Unfortunately, she knew who Merlin really was. She chose to take his mother instead. Hunith showed up here in the middle of a storm deathly ill and covered in sores. Merlin intended to return to the Isle of the Blessed to force Nimueh to take him instead. I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how he is—was, ” Gaius said. “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “He never would do what he was told.” “He went to your chambers, said he needed to tell you goodbye. It was then that I decided it would be me…that I would take his place. I went to the Isle of the Blessed to of fer myself for Merlin. I was unconscious by the time Merlin arrived. He told me afterward, Nimueh tried to get him to join her, to rule by her side…he refused of course. She attacked him with balls of fire. He ended up with a burn scar on his chest from the one that hit him. He pulled lightning from the storm raging overhead and killed her . In taking her life, the balance was restored and Hunith lived…I lived.” “And I lived…” Arthur let out a ragged breath. “It was Merlin’ s duty, his destiny to protect you…his purpose…the purpose for his magic. He was born with it, Arthur . For Merlin, magic was like breathing…a part of him.” “So, when he said that he was born to serve me…” “Yes, ” Gaius nodded. “Gods, Gaius, what did I ever do to deserve him? He was a far better man than me.” “Merlin would be the first to disagree with that, Arthur . Your father was a friend, but even I can admit that he was a hard man, cruel and unyielding at times. He made me take an oath to never tell you the truth about Nimueh and your birth. I am sorry, truly . I was a foolish old man, I let fear direct my actions. If I had not then Merlin and Mor gana would still be with us. Y ou have lost so much, Arthur…” Gaius frowned and shook his head. “Guinevere told me that she is with child, ” Arthur smiled. Gaius smiled, “I am happy for you both. Y ou will be a wonderful father, Arthur .” “If Merlin had not done what he did, I would not be here. My child would have grown up without a father just as I grew up without my mother .” “Then Merlin fulfilled his destiny, ” Gaius said. “I want him back. I need him back, ” Arthur said. “That is not possible, no matter how much I wish it were. I loved Merlin as a son.” “I know you did.” Gaius looked at Arthur intently . “Arthur, there is one place where you may be able to communicate with Merlin. I cannot guarantee that it will work.” “Please, Gaius. I will do whatever it takes.” “The reason Merlin was not able to go with you to Camlann…Mor gana took his magic using a creature of the Old Religion, called the Gean Canach. His only hope of regaining it was to travel to the place where magic was born. It is called the Crystal Cave and lies in the V alley of the Fallen Kings. Mor gana showed up and brought down the cave entrance trapping Merlin inside. He was injured and without his magic. Desperate to get to you before the battle. He told me that his father appeared to him in the cave and helped him to regain his magic. He used the crystals to send you the message about the hidden path in the mountains.” “Yes, he did.” “Perhaps if you go to the Crystal Cave there may be a way to communicate with Merlin. I will need to do some research. If you can give me a day or so.” “Yes, of course, Gaius, ” Arthur said, “But will I need the help of magic?” “I will be able to tell you more once I look into it.” “Very well, it is getting late. I would like to speak with you more tomorrow, Gaius.” “You know where to find me, My Lord, ” Gaius nodded, “Good night, Arthur .” “Good night, Gaius, ” Arthur said then left the chambers. He walked down the silent corridor, but instead of returning to their chambers, he walked outside and down the steps. He needed a drink. Heading for the tavern he walked in to find Gwaine and Percival at a table staring at their tankards of mead not saying anything. The fire was burning in the hearth, and the barkeep looked up, surprised to see the king. “My Lord, ” he bowed, “What can I get you, Sire?” “Whatever they are having, please, ” Arthur said then walked over to the table and pulled up a chair . Gwaine and Percival took a moment to even realize he was there, nearly jumping out of their skin when they did. “Arthur!” Percival said in surprise. Gwaine turned to look at him, his eyes glazed over . “Every time I see you, I look for him, ” he huf fed a pained laugh, his words slurred, “But then I remember, and it feels like a knife through the gut.” Arthur nodded, taking a drink of his mead as soon as Evoric placed it in front of him. “I keep expecting him to show up with some ridiculous story about falling asleep in the woods. Gods, I miss that smile and his annoying prattle. I would give anything to hear him call me a Clotpole or a dollop head again.” “Merlin never held back on his insults, did he, ” Gwaine chuckled. “Arthur, ” Percival said, “Do you think it was his magic that saved him after the Doracha?” “Knowing what I know now I am certain of it, ” Arthur said as Evoric brought him a second tankard of mead before he’d even finished the first. He shrugged, swallowed down the first, then started on the second. It wasn’ t proper for the king to get drunk in a tavern, but he couldn’ t find a reason to care right now . “Lancelot must have known that Merlin had magic, ” Percival nodded. “Yeah, Gaius confirmed my suspicions. Merlin enchanted the lance he used to kill the Grif fin back when he first came to Camelot. The first time he was made a knight and my father stripped him of his title because his seal of nobility was for ged…which I believe a certain Warlock was responsible for as well.” “Warlock? Sorcerer? Dragonlord?” Gwaine said, “Merlin was just full of surprises.” “What is the dif ference between a W arlock and a Sorcerer?” Percival asked. “From what Gaius told me, Merlin was born with his magic, ” Arthur said, “It was as much a part of him as breathing, or the blood pumping through his veins. Sorcerers may have a gift, but they study magic, it does not come naturally to them. Merlin was magic, but he learned how to use it properly from Gaius. So, I suppose, in a way, he was both.” “Was it really Mordred who mortally wounded you?” Gwaine asked Arthur . “Yes, ” Arthur nodded taking a drink of his mead, “I hesitated…that is all it took. He said I gave him no other choice. When I ran him through, he smiled…he smiled like he was relieved. It made no sense. I cared about him…trained him and he turned against me over a girl he hadn’ t seen since he was a child.” “You gave her a chance, Arthur…she refused your of fer, ” Gwaine shook his head. “But Mordred didn’ t know that did he, ” Arthur frowned. “This prophecy…” Percival said, “Merlin knew about it?” “Explains why he and Mordred were always at odds. I thought maybe Merlin was just jealous of the attention you were paying to Mordred, ” Gwaine frowned. Arthur nodded, “I see that now . It must have been so hard for him knowing that Mordred had magic like him and yet he was merely a servant and I made Mordred a knight.” “If you had known Mordred had magic you wouldn’ t have done so, ” Percival said. “No, I most likely would not have. Merlin is the one who deserved to be a knight, ” Arthur shook his head, “Gods, I am ashamed of the way I treated him. I still have no idea how many times he saved my life…how many times he saved Camelot.” The door opened then, and they looked around as Leon walked in, and waved to Evoric who nodded and poured another tankard of mead. “Thought I might find you all here, ” Leon said as he pulled up a chair, sat down, then looked at Arthur . “Are you all right, Sire?” Arthur shook his head, “Why wouldn’ t I be? I have only lost the other half of my soul.” “I’m sorry, ” Leon frowned. “No, it is I who should be sorry, ” Arthur said patting Leon’ s shoulder, “I have been neglecting my kingly duties placing too much on your shoulders.” “The queen sent me to find you, she is worried.” “I should probably go back.” “No, perhaps this is what you need…to talk about Merlin, ” Leon said, “I am certain she understands.” “What kind of man am I?” Arthur asked, his words beginning to slur as he drank a third tankard of mead, “My queen…my wife, she is with child and I am here, with you lot, grieving over my servant…best friend…protector…sorcerer…warlock…Dragonlord.” “You’re going to be a father?” Leon smiled. “Yep, I am, and if not for Merlin I would have died and never known about my child.” “Cheers, ” Gwaine and Percival smiled then downed their mead. “I’m drunk, ” Arthur said. “Me too?” Gwaine smirked. Arthur shook his head then let it fall back and chuckled, “Merlin used his magic in our fight in the market, he admitted it to me. I had no idea. He would have won if Gaius had not distracted him. I hit him with a broomstick.” “Low blow, ” Percival smirked. “Heard about that fight, didn’ t see it for myself, ” Leon smiled. “Then he saved my life, and as a reward, my father made him my manservant.” “Sounds more like a punishment, ” Gwaine grinned. “You’re not wrong, ” Arthur shrugged his eyes growing wider, “Sacked him after the snakes in the shield thing with V aliant. I was an idiot.” “You obviously hired him back, ” Percival said. “Yes, I couldn’ t stand the thought of anyone else replacing him…and now…” “There’ s always Geor ge, ” Leon smirked. Arthur glared at him, “I would rather wash my own socks than have to deal with Geor ge.” “He is rather stif f and proper, ” Gwaine laughed. “That’ s just it, he is too ef ficient for our king, ” Leon chuckled. “And he’ s not Merlin, ” Arthur said finishing his mead, “I want Merlin back.” “We all do, ” Leon said, “He was a friend to all of us…a brother really .” Arthur leaned forward placing his head in his hands, elbows on the table. The others looked at each other, clearly concerned for their friend and king. He huf fed a laugh then dropped his hands, his eyes shining with tears. “I am really, really drunk, ” he said. “Me too, but not enough yet, ” Gwaine mumbled then tipped his empty tankard upside down. “We should get you two back to the palace, ” Leon said. “No, ” Arthur said then turned to the barkeep, “Evoric, do you have a room available?” “Yes, of course, Y our Highness, ” he nodded, “I shall give you my best room.” “One for Gwaine too…Percival?” “No, I am not that drunk, but I’ll help get Gwaine upstairs.” “My Lord, the room I have for you has a second bed for Sir Gwaine or I can give him a separate room, ” Evoric said. “No need, Gwaine can share the room with me, ” Arthur said as he stood up, swaying on his feet to the point where Leon had to prop him up. “Thank you, Leon. W ill you please send word to Guinevere…tell her I am sorry .” “I am certain she will understand, Arthur, ” Leon said then helped his king up the stairs with Percival following behind, Gwaine leaning heavily on him. Reaching the top of the stairs, they followed Evoric to the end of the long hallway . He unlocked the door opening it wide, stepping inside to light the candles and start a fire in the hearth. “Here we are, ” Evoric smiled. Leon sat Arthur down on the lar ger bed near the fire. Percival dropped Gwaine on the smaller bed by the wall then pulled his boots of f. “You’re a good friend…a very big, good friend, ” Gwaine smirked and Percival rolled his eyes placing his boots near the hearth. “Leon, ” Arthur said then let out a loud burp that made Gwaine laugh. Leon shook his head, taking of f Arthur ’s boots. “Lie down, Arthur, you need to rest.” “Can’ t sleep, ” Arthur said as he laid back on the pillow, “I close my eyes, I see Merlin dying…over and over and over again. I will never get that vision out of my head as long as I live. He should be here…not me. It should be me lying in that godforsaken lake.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom. Camelot would be nothing without you, Arthur, ” Leon said with conviction. “Merlin said those exact words to me on the way to A valon, ” Arthur said pinching the bridge of his nose before running his fingers through his hair which had gotten too long, but he had no desire to let anyone cut it…that was Merlin’ s job…” “Arthur, ” Leon said, “See you in the morning, rest.” He headed toward the door and Percival followed him out, closing the door behind them, leaving Arthur and Gwaine in silence. “I should have been there, ” Gwaine choked out, his voice rough. “Gwaine…” “It was my fault. If I had not convinced Percival that we should go after Mor gana…she would not have gone to A valon. Merlin would be alive, and he would have had time to save you.” “No, Gwaine…don’ t put that on yourself.” “I was so angry about Eira…I allowed her into my bed…I trusted her .” Arthur huf fed a bitter laugh, “I know all about trusting people I should not have. Y ou are not to blame, Gwaine. I do not blame you.” Gwaine let out a growl, kicking the end of the bed. “All of this goes back to your father . His hatred of magic did this…he took Merlin from us.” Arthur fell silent and Gwaine pushed himself up to a seated position, back against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest, then folded his hands across the back of his head. Arthur rolled onto his side facing his knight, “I had the chance to kill my father .” “What?” Gwaine asked, looking at him. “Merlin lied to me…he lied to stop me from killing my father .” “What happened?” “Mor gause conjured the spirit of my mother, Ygraine, who told me the truth about my birth…what my father did. The reason he started the Great Pur ge in the first place. My mother could not conceive so he turned to magic for an heir . I do not know if he knew what the price would be, but in the end, my mother died so I could live…balance…a life for a life. I was angry…Gods, so angry . Upon returning to Camelot, I was out for his blood, I challenged him…demanded that he fight me. I had the point of my sword at his chest when Merlin burst in and told me that Mor gause lied, that it was not my mother I saw . That it was all a lie to tear apart the kingdom. Merlin could have let me kill my father, he would have been free, but instead, he lied, and I dropped my sword.” “Sounds like Merlin, ” Gwaine said, “So unselfish. Always putting others ahead of his own needs.” “I still feel such shame for the way I reacted when he told me about his magic.” “It’s understandable, Arthur .” Arthur nodded, “I thought I knew him…and the whole time he was hiding this huge part of himself. I should have known. W e were…” “You loved each other .” “Yeah, ” Arthur said with a soft laugh then sat upright and looked at Gwaine, “He was your best friend too, you really didn’ t feel hurt?” “No, not at all, ” Gwaine shook his head, “Merlin kept his secret to protect himself. He lived in fear every day of his life. That is something you and I could never possibly understand. Even before he came to Camelot, he grew up in Essetir…Cenred was well known for imprisoning and enslaving those with magic. He had no chance…stay or leave, he would always be in danger . Coming to Camelot was his best chance at survival. Becoming your servant was his destiny .” Arthur nodded, tears pooling in his eyes, “Y ou’re a wise man, Sir Gwaine.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh, “I’m really not.” “True…but thank you…thank you for being here for me.” “And we owe Merlin for that as well don’ t we.” “What did Mor gana do to you?” “Ah, that nasty snake thing…the same one she used on Elyan to find out you all were going to Ealdor, ” Gwaine shivered. “Gods, I hate snakes.” “I hate spiders…giant hairy spiders, ” Arthur muttered. “Definitely hate spiders and snakes. Don’ t mind dragons so much now .” Arthur laughed, “Me neither .” “Still hate W yverns though.” “Gaius thinks I might be able to communicate with Merlin from the Crystal Cave.” “Really?” Gwaine asked his eyes going wide. “I need to try, ” Arthur said, “I need to see him…talk to him.” “Then I am going with you.” “Gwaine, ” he shook his head, “I need to go alone.” “You are the king, Arthur, you cannot venture into the V alley of the Fallen Kings alone. Morgana may be dead, but there are still enemies out there who would love your head on a pike.” Arthur looked at Gwaine then nodded, “All right. But only you and me. No one else.” “When do we leave?” “Gaius said he needed to do some research. He has to find a way that I can communicate without magic of my own. There is a chance it will not work at all.” “You were born of magic, do think there is a chance you have some sort of magic?” Arthur laughed, “No, I don’ t think so.” “What is it you really want, Arthur?” “I need to know the part of Merlin he kept hidden. I need to understand.” “So, you can find a way to for give him?” Gwaine asked. “No, I have already for given him.” “Then what are you after?” “Ideally, I want to bring him home, ” Arthur lowered his gaze to the floor for a moment then looked at Gwaine. “But if that is not possible, I at least want my child to grow up knowing him. T o know the man who brought peace to Camelot. Is that so insane?” Gwaine shook his head, “No, Arthur, not at all.” “We should sleep, we are going to feel like death in the morning.” “I will go with you to see Gaius. He will give us his remedy then we can work on a plan.” Arthur laid back down on his side staring into the flames and laughed, “The fire.” “What?” “The fire in Jarl’ s fortress, when we faked that fight…the fire that mysteriously started and covered our escape.” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin…” “Remember what he said, that if it wasn’ t for that fire, we would have all been pushing up daisies.” “Of course. Also explains your recovery from the poisoned arrow in your leg. Y ou were burning up with fever…” “I was dying. And Merlin saved me…again.” Gwaine looked at Arthur intently, “Whatever it takes, we will do right by him. W e will make sure that Merlin is remembered…always. And maybe one day he will return.” “I hope so, ” Arthur said then finally drifted of f to sleep. Gwaine passed out soon after . To See Him Again “Gwaine, are you alive?” Arthur asked shaking his knight gently . “What? Oh, yes…alive…still alive, ” he jolted awake nearly rolling of f the bed. “That makes one of us, ” Arthur winced sitting down on the bed to put on his boots, “My head…” Gwaine stumbled to the hearth stepping into his own boots with surprising agility considering how much he’d had to drink. “Let’ s get to Gaius, he will fix us right up, ” he chuckled. “Sounds like you have gone to him many times for the remedy, ” Arthur smirked. “Regular customer .” They blew out the candles and then made their way downstairs where Evoric had breakfast prepared for them. They sat down and ate. Arthur placed a handful of gold coins on the table. “Please, Y our Highness, I cannot accept payment, ” Evoric said. “I insist, ” Arthur said, “For the mead, the room, and this delicious breakfast.” “Very well, My Lord. Y ou are welcome anytime, ” Evoric said then lowered his head, “W e all miss Merlin. He helped me out often with remedies and fixing things. He was a good man.” “Yes, he was, ” Arthur nodded. They finished eating and then headed for the palace. After a slight detour to let Gwen know, he was all right and to apologize for abandoning her, they reached the door of the physician’ s chambers. Gwaine knocked and then opened the door . Gaius waved a hand toward the table. “Leon told me to expect you two, remedy is there on the table.” “Thank you, Gaius, ” Arthur said drinking his down quickly trying not to smell it first. “Y ep, still as nasty tasting as ever .” “Nectar of the Gods, ” Gwaine chuckled, downing his with a flourish. “Gaius, have you found anything?” Arthur asked as he approached the older man. “I was up most of the night and I was able to confirm that the Horn of Cathbhadh will not work for someone who is not a direct blood ancestor .” Arthur said down on the bench, “And the Crystal Cave?” “There is a way to use the crystals to communicate with spirits, but you will need help.” “Magical help?” Arthur asked. “I’m afraid so, ” Gaius said, “Y ou will need to retrieve the Crystal of Neahtid from the vaults of Camelot and return it to the Crystal Cave from which it came.” “That doesn’ t sound too dif ficult, ” Gwaine said as he sat down on a bench across from Arthur . “Yes, well, that is the easy part, I am afraid. Before you return it, you must enhance its power .” “And just how do I do that?” Arthur asked. “It must be infused with magic from a high priestess.” Arthur ’s face fell, “That is obviously out of the question.” “The only other option is the Great Dragon, ” Gaius said. “Good, I need to speak with Kilgharrah anyway . Is there a way that I can call him to me?” “There is a spell, but I am not certain I have enough power . I am willing to try, Arthur .” Arthur knew from the look in Gaius’ eyes that this spell would take a lot out of him to perform. “Gaius, would it harm you? I will not ask you to do it if it will.” “It will not be easy, but I will do it for Merlin…for you.” “Is there another way? I will not do anything that will put you at risk.” Gaius thought for a moment then his eyes widened, “Of course, your sword, Arthur . It was forged by Kilgharrah. It holds his power . You can use it to call him.” “Great, tell me what I need to do.” “Arthur, please don’ t go alone, ” Gwen said as Arthur packed his bags. “Guinevere, Gwaine is going with me, I won’ t be alone, ” he said stopping what he was doing to embrace her . “There is no need to worry . With Mor gana dead and the Saxons scattered there is little threat right now . I must do this. Please understand. If I have a chance to see Merlin, to speak with him, I need to try . There is so much I need him to know and things that I must know to protect Camelot. T o keep the peace for our child.” Gwen shook her head, “I just do not want to lose you, Arthur . I cannot raise our child alone.” “I love you, Guinevere, I will return. I promise you.” “All right, ” she finally relented, “Just promise me that if you speak to Merlin, tell him how much he means to me and how grateful I am for everything he did.” “I will tell him, ” Arthur smiled then kissed her before resuming packing. There was a knock on the door . Gwen went to answer it. Gwaine stepped inside the room and she gave him a look... “Y ou will take care of him, ” she said. “Upon my life, I will protect Arthur, My Lady, ” Gwaine said then he approached Arthur with an object in a leather pouch. “Is this what we need?” he asked as he opened it and pulled out the Crystal of Neahtid. Arthur had not laid eyes on it since they brought it back to Camelot all those years ago. “That’ s it, ” Arthur sheathed his sword, kissed Gwen then nodded, “Let’ s go.” They made their way out of the castle to find Leon and Percival waiting in the courtyard with their horses. “Thank you, ” Arthur smiled, climbing onto his horse while Gwaine secured the crystal in his saddlebag then mounted his own horse. “Arthur, are you sure this is wise?” Leon asked. “It is something I have to do, Leon. Please understand.” “I do, just it isn’ t safe out there.” “I will take care of him, I promise, ” Gwaine said. “Courage and Strength, ” Percival said with a nod then reached up to grasp Arthur ’s forearm, “Godspeed, both of you.” Arthur nodded then turned his horse, heading for the drawbridge with Gwaine close behind. They crossed over it and then headed toward the clearing Gaius told them about. The place where Merlin used to sneak of f to call Kilgharrah for help. It was already mid-morning and they still had far to go to reach the Crystal Cave. As soon as they reached the clearing, Arthur dismounted, drew his sword, and stepped into the clearing. He held the sword out in front of him, resting flat across both hands then closed his eyes focusing all his light and ener gy into the blade then, tilting his head back, he shouted. “Kilgharrah, Great Dragon, I wish to speak with you. In the name of Merlin, The Last Dragonlord, please come to me. Hear your king, Kilgharrah…” “Did it work?” Gwaine asked keeping his voice low . “I don’ t know, ” Arthur shook his head. “Maybe you should say it again.” “What if he is too far away?” Arthur asked. Gwaine held up a hand, “Listen…” They both heard the familiar sound of massive wings and looked up as Kilgharrah came over the hill. He landed in the clearing just a few feet from the king. “King Arthur…Sir Gwaine, you called for me, ” the dragon said. “I did, ” Arthur said then sheathed his sword, “I have a favor to ask of you.” “A favor?” Kilgharrah asked a curious glint in his golden eyes. “Yes, I must speak with Merlin. Gaius said there is a chance that I can reach him in the Crystal Cave, but I need you to enhance the magic of the Crystal of Neahtid so that I may do so.” “I see, ” the dragon said, “Might I ask why you wish to speak with Merlin?” Arthur nodded, “There are things I need answers to, and things I need him to know . Will you help me? Please.” “Very well, ” Kilgharrah said, “Bring me the crystal, but you should know, Arthur, Merlin may not want to be summoned.” “Why?” Arthur asked, shaking his head, “Why would he not want to come to me?” “Arthur, Merlin gave his life for you. He would want you to live, to move on.” “I can’ t do that, ” Arthur shook his head, his voice breaking, “Not until I say what I need to say to him. I need to see him one last time. He died not knowing how I feel about him.” Kilgharrah raised his head and looked at Gwaine then back to Arthur . He let out a breath, a puff of smoke and flame. “Great King, there are things Merlin did that he may not want you to know .” “If you’re referring to the fact that it was Merlin who set you free? I figured that out for myself. So, you see I am not a complete idiot.” Kilgharrah let out a chuckle, “Y ou definitely are not.” “Will you help me then?” “I will help you, King Arthur, ” Kilgharrah said. He watched as Gwaine stepped forward with the Crystal of Neahtid in his hand. “Place it on the ground then step back.” Gwaine did as he said before moving to stand next to Arthur . The dragon lowered his head and opened his mouth breathing a heatless golden flame over the crystal. It began to glow with a light so bright that Arthur and Gwaine had to look away . “It is done.” “Thank you, ” Arthur said. “In the center of the Crystal Cave, you will find a pool of water . Place the crystal in the water and focus on Merlin. I trust Gaius told you what to say .” “He did, ” Gwaine nodded. “If Merlin chooses not to appear to you, Arthur, you will not try again. Promise me.” Arthur lowered his gaze to the crystal for a moment then looked up at Kilgharrah again. “If Merlin chooses not to come to me, I will let him be. I promise.” “The magic I have infused into the crystal will destroy it if you attempt the summoning a second time. It will shatter, obliterating everything within its reach. It will sever any connection between the Crystal Cave and A valon, the repercussions of which would be far worse than the tear in the veil that released the Doracha.” Arthur and Gwaine looked at each other as that memory took hold. Neither of them wanted to relive that nightmare. They had nearly lost Merlin, then they did lose Lancelot. “I swear to you, I will perform the summoning only once, ” Arthur said. “Good, then I bid you farewell, King Arthur…Sir Gwaine, ” Kilgharrah said then moved away preparing to fly . “Wait, please, Kilgharrah, ” Arthur said. The dragon turned back to look at him. “Please, tell me, do you know what happens now that Merlin changed our destiny by dying in my place? I was meant to return one day . Does that mean Merlin will too?” Kilgharrah shook his head, “I do not know, Arthur . The prophecies were written centuries before you and Merlin were even born. They all ended with your death and Merlin being immortal. What he did forever altered not only your fate but the fates of all those around you. What will happen remains to be seen. No one can say if he will return.” “Perhaps I can call on you again, ” Arthur said, “I am certain you miss him too.” “I would like that, Arthur, ” the dragon said then launched into the air and flew away, vanishing over the hills. Gwaine picked up the crystal placing it back inside the leather pouch. They made their way back to the horses in silence until they were in the saddle, heading toward the V alley of the Fallen Kings. “Arthur, did Merlin ever tell you what happened to him after the two of you were separated by the rock fall that day? When the bandits took him. When we found him, he was not himself.” “He never spoke of it again.” “I could not help but wonder if Mor gana had him and he escaped. Especially knowing now that he had magic.” “He would not have risked using magic to escape from her . She would have realized he was Emrys. I am certain she did not know who he was until Mordred told her after he left Camelot. That is why she sent that creature to steal his magic.” “Makes sense, ” Gwaine nodded, “I cannot begin to imagine how terrified he must have been to lose something that was such a part of him…something he had always been able to rely on from the day he was born. It is no wonder he panicked when those bandits attacked us in the Valley of the Fallen Kings when I was taking him to the Crystal Cave.” “I always wondered why, even when he was so clearly scared, he never lost faith that we would prevail no matter what we faced. I guess now I know why…he had his magic.” “No, Arthur, ” Gwaine smiled, “He had faith in you. Magic needed you as much as you needed Magic. Merlin’ s mother said it best…you were two sides of the same coin.” Arthur glanced over at Gwaine and nodded, “Thank you for coming on this journey with me.” “Nowhere else I would rather be.” “Do you think the dragon is right? That Merlin may not want to come to me?” Gwaine thought for a moment then shook his head, “All I know is Merlin loved you. I think he will want to see you again as much as you want to see him.” “There is so much I need to say, and I have no idea how long I will have to say it. When I summoned my father, I had little time before he told me I must go or risk being trapped in the world of the dead. Then I made the mistake of looking back as the veil closed releasing his spirit into this world. It was his ghost that hurt Percival and Guinevere, damaged the Round Table. Merlin and I had to hunt him down to send him back. He nearly killed Merlin, pinned him to a door in the armory with two spears. I blew the horn and right before he vanished, he tried to say something about Merlin. I think he was going to tell me about his magic. He must have used magic to fight my father after he knocked me out.” “Ah yes, poetry, ” Gwaine chuckled. “What?” “Oh, Leon told us how he found you and Merlin alone, sneaking around the castle in the dark. Arthur scof fed, “What did you all think we were doing?” “Poetry of course, ” Gwaine grinned, wagging his eyebrows. “I never…could never let myself have…” Arthur said his voice trailing of f. “You are an honorable man, Arthur . You would never betray Gwen or hurt Merlin.” “Yes, but it did not stop me from wondering what it would be like, ” Arthur blushed. He fell silent as they rode through a narrow ravine following the brook. Gwaine knew he needed to keep him talking. “Tell me more about when you and Merlin first met.” “You’re just trying to keep me talking, ” Arthur said narrowing his eyes. “Well, either you talk, or I will, and we both know how much you enjoy my mindless chatter, ” Gwaine laughed. “Come on, tell me. I really want to know .” “Fine, ” the king smirked. “I was not of ficially the Crown Prince yet, and needless to say I was a bit of a bully…an ass, as Merlin called me that day .” “Sounds about right, ” Gwaine chuckled. “You want to hear this or not?” “Sorry, Sire, do go on.” “My servant prior to Merlin, his name was Morris…dull, spineless, and what Merlin would call a bootlicker . I was on the training grounds with my equally bootlicking friends at the time. I was showing of f and I may have been throwing knives at the tar get my servant was carrying as he tried to place it for me. He lost his hold on it and the tar get rolled across the ground and fell at Merlin’ s feet, he placed his boot on it and says to me that’ s enough that I’d had my fun.” You’ve had your fun, my friend… Those words brought both a smile and tears. Arthur swiped them away and told Gwaine the rest of their first interactions leaving his knight laughing so hard that he could barely breathe. “You asked him if he knew how to walk on his knees?” Gwaine asked, fighting of f another wave of laughter . “I did, ” Arthur said unable to hold back a smirk. “You really were an ass, ” Gwaine chuckled. “Yes, and Merlin was quite adept at pointing out my flaws and telling me when I was being an idiot. He was the only person to ever do so and get away with it. T ruthfully, it is the reason I kept him around. He never failed to challenge me when I was doing the wrong thing or encouraged me when I was doubting myself. He created a damn sword for me of all things. Gods, Gwaine I did not deserve him.” “The way I see it, you needed him in your life. Y ou were surrounded by people who only told you what you wanted to hear and would never stand up to you when you were being a prat.” “Yes, and then you came along, ” Arthur laughed, “Y ou and your hatred of nobles. Why is that anyway? Y ou never told me.” “No one knows, save for Merlin.” “You may as well tell me now .” “If I tell you I will have to kill you, ” Gwaine said, and Arthur laughed. “My father was a knight in Caerleon’ s army . A noble. Fought and died for the king and yet when my mother went to him for help, he turned her away . As soon as I was old enough, I left home and made a living doing whatever I could. I would go back home and leave money with her every chance I got. Until the day I went back to find that she had died, and my heartless sister was gone…married some noble in another kingdom.” “I am so sorry, Gwaine.” Gwaine shook his head and smiled sadly, “That day I met you and Merlin in the tavern…I had just come from there. I had planned to drink myself into a stupor . Instead, I met this courageous and stupid man who started a fight he could not win and his best friend who dragged my wounded arse back to Camelot and gave me a reason to keep fighting.” Arthur nodded, “And ended up saving my life again. I could have made you a knight if you had told me the truth. My father would have overturned his decision easily if he had known.” “I could not have served under a king like Uther, ” Gwaine said, “I am proud to serve you, Arthur . You stood up for me against your father and I have never for gotten that.” “When Merlin went to you for help after I left for the Perilous Lands, you agreed to help because of him, not me. I knew that. Y ou were a good friend to him. I think you serve me because of him more than out of duty to me.” “Merlin was the first and only true friend I’d ever had, ” Gwaine said, “I think we bonded over the fact that neither of us really knew our fathers and grew up without them in our lives. What was Merlin’ s father like?” Arthur let out a breath, “I didn’ t get a chance to really know him before he was killed by one of Cenred’ s men. But what I saw was a man who had survived against all odds and was strong, brave, and far more powerful than I ever could have imagined…like father like son…” “Yes, ” Gwaine nodded, “What would you have done…if Merlin had told you about his magic sooner?” “I have asked myself that question a hundred times, Gwaine, and I am ashamed to say I still do not know the answer . All I know for certain is that I could never have let him die. Even in the beginning, I would have protected him, or at least I would like to believe I would have. Gods, my father has been so wrong about so much. I wish I could repair all the damage his hatred has done.” “The Great Pur ge began when you were born and your mother died, ” Gwaine said. “Yes, ” Arthur said. “And Merlin…he was born of magic…was magic…and he was a few years younger than you.” “What are you getting at?” “When Merlin destroyed Mor gana, what his magic did, healing us and Kilgharrah. God knows what else it touched…all that power, it had to come from somewhere. The magic released in the Great Pur ge, from the slaughtering of sorcerers…what if Merlin was born of that magic?” “If that is true, ” Arthur ’s eyes widened, “Then why would he be destined to protect me, the son of the king who was responsible for the Great Pur ge…essentially the reason for it?” “You were born of magic, Merlin was born with magic, ” Gwaine said, “T wo sides of the same coin…together you would bring balance. Build a world of peace and end the war on magic.” Arthur stared at his knight for a moment. “When did you become such a deep thinker, ” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow . Gwaine chuckled and shook his head, “I’m just putting the pieces together .” Arthur frowned, “I did not deserve him. I was blind to his deeds and his suf fering…just as I was to Mor gana’ s. I could have saved her…I should have saved him.” “Mor gana was beyond saving, Arthur . Her hatred was born of fear . That changes a person to their very core. She held me captive enough, I got to know her quite well. Behind those beautiful, haunted eyes was a soul filled with pain, bitterness, and rage that no one could have overcome. I would bet my life that Merlin tried, and if he could not save her, what chance did you have?” “You’re probably right, ” Arthur said, “They were once friends, you know . Merlin and Morgana…there was a time when I thought, they were more. But then something happened that caused a rift between them. Something changed after Mor gause and the Knights of Medhir attacked Camelot. She put all the people to sleep, only Mor gana was still awake… now I know why . Then something happened, the knights stopped and Mor gause took her away . We searched for more than a year . When we finally found her and brought her home, Merlin was visibly shaken. It was as if he did not want her back in Camelot.” “I’m sure he had good reason.” “Yes, I am certain he did. I just wish I knew the truth. I will probably never know everything.” “Probably not, and the dragon did say there were things Merlin did...that could be one of them.” “I didn’ t know at the time that Mor gana was my half-sister, ” Arthur shook his head, “I am not certain when she learned the truth, but I believe it was that knowledge that made her turn against our father . She became so twisted, a dark vengeful witch, determined to take back her birthright.” “Uther was at fault, not you, Arthur . And definitely not Merlin. Whatever he did, he did out of love for you and Camelot. The choice he made that day to stop her, it was made for the very same reason. He saw no other way out.” Arthur swiped at his eyes again and nodded, “I know .” “We will reach the Crystal Cave soon. It is not much farther . We should set up camp for the night and wait until morning to use the crystal?” “That’ s probably wise, ” Arthur said, “I want to be rested and thinking clearly when I do this. We only have one shot at it.” “I know a good spot, not far from the cave. W e can set up camp there and take a look inside before we do anything.” They rode down into a ravine that looked vaguely familiar to Arthur . As they got of f the horses, he remembered. It was the day bandits had chased him and Merlin. He’d been shot in the back with an arrow, the bandits were on top of them. Y et Merlin had not only fended them of f somehow but healed him from what easily could have been a fatal wound. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked as he got the fire going, “Are you all right?” “Yes, it’ s just I have been here before…with Merlin. W e were running from bandits, and I was shot in the back with an arrow . Merlin told me it did not pierce my armor, but I remember now .” “What else can you remember?” “I could hear Merlin talking to me. Just flashes of memory, I remember hearing him crying. At one point I heard him talking to someone, but there was no one else there. It makes no sense, ” Arthur said shaking his head. “When I woke up the next morning, I was healed, and Merlin was behaving oddly . He seemed traumatized by something.” “Something he saw in the Crystal Cave, ” Gwaine said knowingly . “It is said that the Crystal of Neahtid had the power to show the future. If it came from the cave…” “Merlin’ s magic allowed him to see the future through the crystals in the cave. It would explain why he was so upset.” “Merlin must have seen something about Mor gana. It was shortly after we returned to Camelot, she left her chambers late one night and somehow ended up falling down the stairs fracturing her skull. She was dying then inexplicably healed…Merlin must have healed her . He healed her despite knowing what she would become. He could have just let her die.” Gwaine looked down at the fire, “Merlin still had hope that he would be able to help her . He must have known that she was your sister .” “I remember telling him that I would give up my place on the throne for her to see another sunrise, ” Arthur said, “He saved her life because I wanted her to live. W e grew up together and I loved her as a sister . I could not bear the thought of losing her . Everything Merlin did was for me. He tried to save my father too. But Mor gana interfered in the spell, he died and Merlin…the guilt he must have felt. He risked so much.” “I still can’ t believe that old sorcerer was Merlin all along, ” Gwaine huf fed a laugh. “It is no wonder he kept his secret from me, even after my father was gone. I lashed out and tried to kill him. Then later, when he came to me as himself, I told him I had lost both my parents to magic…that it was pure evil, and I would never lose sight of that again. I was essentially telling Merlin that he was pure evil.” “And if your father had lived…do you really believe things would have changed for Merlin?” “No, I would not have been able to free magic until I became king. He would have still had to hide who he was.” “And yet Merlin still tried to save Uther knowing full well that either way he would have to continue to live in the shadows, ” Gwaine said shaking his head. “He could have done nothing and just let my father die…it would have been easier and safer for him to do so. Merlin risked everything to help me because I asked him to. Just as he did with Mor gana. I was angry at him for keeping his magic a secret and yet I never gave him a reason to trust me with that secret.” “All that matters is that you accepted him in the end. Now, sit down here and eat something, then get some rest, ” Gwaine said. “No, not yet. I need to see the cave. Where is the entrance?” Gwaine got up, grabbed his sword then headed down a path. “This way, ” he said, and Arthur followed him. They walked into the mouth of the cave. Gwaine found a discarded torch and lit it. They climbed up over the rocks, moving deeper into the cavern until they emer ged into a wide-open area filled with glowing crystals. “Gwaine, return to camp, keep watch I need to be alone, ” Arthur said. Gwaine nodded and went to pass him the torch, but he refused it. “You won’ t be able to see your way out of here.” “And neither will you if I take the torch.” “Fine, I will come back for you in a little while, ” Gwaine said. “Thank you again, Gwaine…for being here with me. I am not sure I could have faced this on my own.” “You’re welcome, ” he said then made his way back out of the cave leaving Arthur alone. Arthur sat down on the ground in the center of the crystals and closed his eyes. Even without magic, he could feel the power emanating from them. Merlin had come here to regain his magic after Mor gana’ s creature stole it from him. Arthur could imagine him there, injured, and scared…trapped because of the cave-in caused by Mor gana. “Merlin, can you hear me, ” Arthur asked, tears pooling in his eyes, “I miss you. I need to see you again, to talk to you. There is so much I need to say . So much I have to make up for . Merlin, please…” Arthur sat in silence listening. He heard the trickle of water as it ran down the wall of the cave into the crystal-clear pool where they would place the Crystal of Neahtid for the summoning. He was tempted to go back to camp, get the crystal and perform it now, but his mind was foggy . He wanted to be rested and focused. “Is anyone there, ” he asked receiving no response. “I will return tomorrow, ” Arthur got to his feet and headed toward the mouth of the cave. He was able to see well enough without the torch and reached the entrance just as Gwaine came through. “Are you all right?” he asked. “I will be tomorrow, if this works, ” Arthur said stepping out into the night. Gwaine hesitated a moment glancing back up toward the crystals. He feared what would happen if Merlin refused to appear . Arthur would be devastated. “Merlin, Arthur needs you, my friend. Please, do not refuse him when he summons you, ” Gwaine said then followed his king. Arthur woke at dawn, but he let Gwaine sleep a little longer while he went over the words Gaius had written down. At least it was not the language of the Old Religion. He wondered if it would even work. What if nothing happened? W ould that mean it failed or that Merlin refused to come through? “Did you get any sleep at all?” Gwaine asked as he sat up rubbing his eyes. “I did…a few hours here and there.” “You are exhausted.” “I’ll sleep for a week after I see Merlin and talk to him.” Gwaine studied him closely . “Are you sure you will be able to move on if Merlin refuses to show?” “I cannot think about that possibility right now, ” Arthur said then got up, retrieving the Crystal of Neahtid from Gwaine’ s saddlebag. “I’m going to do this now .” “I’m coming with you, ” Gwaine said then pulled on his boots, grabbed the torch, lit it in the fire, and followed his king. The sun was just coming over the crest of the hill, its golden rays filtering through the trees, illuminating the mouth of the cave. They stepped inside and then climbed up to the crystals. Looking around, Gwaine nodded toward the pool. “That must be it, ” he said. Arthur nodded approaching it as he slipped the crystal from the leather pouch and dropped to his knees in front of the pool. He placed it in the water and then looked at Gwaine. He took a breath before reading the words on the parchment. When he finished, he stood up and stepped back. At first, nothing happened, but a moment later a low hum began. It grew louder, the crystal began to vibrate in the water causing ripples on the surface. “Merlin, ” Arthur said his voice pleading. He did not care if he had to beg, he would do it. “Merlin, I need you…please, ” he said. He saw Gwaine step back a bit. “Scared?” he asked him with a slight smile. “No, not at all, ” Gwaine smirked, though his eyes were wide. “Arthur, ” a deep voice reverberated of f the walls that was definitely not Merlin. Arthur turned around to see a familiar bearded figure standing a few feet away . “Balinor…” he said. The man was solid but had a bluish light around him. “King Arthur, ” Balinor smiled fondly, “He said you would come.” “Merlin? Where is he? Please, I need to see him…speak with him.” “In due time, ” Balinor said, “There is something you need to see first.” “If Merlin is afraid, he does not have to be.” Balinor nodded, stepping closer, “Great King, there are many things my son was forced to do of which he is not proud. After you see what I am about to show you, if you still want to speak to him, he will come through the veil.” Arthur nodded, “So, be it, but there is nothing you can show me that will change my mind.” “Very well, ” Balinor said then stepped back waving a hand toward the lar gest of the crystals and suddenly there were images. Gwaine put out the torch and then moved to stand with Arthur . “W atch, Arthur…” the older man nodded, and the images moved through the crystals. Arthur inhaled sharply as he saw moments from Merlin’ s life flashing before his eyes. From before he came to Camelot, his mother ’s letter to Gaius. He smiled as he saw a happy, carefree Merlin walking along the road, arriving in Camelot only to witness a beheading of a sorcerer first thing. “I would have turned tail and run if that were my first experience in Camelot, and I don’ t even have magic, ” Gwaine said. Arthur shook his head, “But he stayed.” He kept his eyes on the crystals taking it all in. Their first meeting…their fight, then the banquet hall, the falling chandelier, and time visibly slowing while Merlin pulled Arthur out of the path of the witch’ s dagger . Valiant and the snakes, Nimueh and the poison that Merlin drank to save him, the light orb in the cave, Lancelot and the Grif fin, Edwin trying to kill his father, and Merlin saving him. Sophia, Aulfric, Kanen, and the bandits in Ealdor…the wind that turned the battle. Arthur saw the unicorn and Anhora, The Questing Beast, and the battle with Nimueh, Merlin was hit by a ball of fire, lying on the ground only to get to his feet and draw lightning from the sky, killing Nimueh. He was shocked to see the beast he had wounded, had actually been Freya…Freya from the Lake of A valon. Merlin had loved her . She died in Merlin’ s arms on the shore of the lake. Arthur had taken away the one person Merlin found who could understand him…accept him for who he truly was…love him the way he deserved to be loved. Even that did not compare to the shock of seeing the image of Merlin poisoning Mor gana and his releasing of the Great Dragon and the moment he learned who his father was before they set out on their quest to find Balinor . The moment Balinor learned who Merlin was and seeing them together by the fire while Arthur slept. The depth of emotion in Merlin’ s face when his father said good night to him for the first…and last…time in his life. Balinor ’s death and the overwhelming grief in Merlin’ s eyes…how he had struggled to hide it from Arthur who’d told him no man was worth his tears. Then the confrontation with the dragon and Merlin realizing his powers as a Dragonlord, speaking to Kilgharrah in a voice that sent shivers all through Arthur ’s body . The images continued and Arthur had no idea how he managed to absorb all of it, it had to be the magic enabling him to grasp and understand each and every moment as they flashed quickly . He laughed aloud when he saw Merlin release the Goblin. Then remembered his donkey ears and braying and his father ’s bald head the flatulence… “Should have known he was responsible for that, ” he smirked. “Sorry I missed that one, ” Gwaine chuckled. The images continued through the years everything from Elena being a changeling, to yet more of Mor gana’ s deception and the bizarre and quite frightening Manticore which Merlin fought. It was the stuf f of nightmares. Then the discovery of Arthur and Guinevere’ s relationship and Merlin changing into the old sorcerer to clear her name only to nearly end up burned on the pyre himself. The young sorcerer who fought Uther in the tournament. Merlin befriending the boy and trying to teach him the right way to use magic. It's...lonely . To...be mor e powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow . To...be special and…and have to pr etend you'r e a fool. I know how it feels, I understand. “Merlin, ” Arthur shook his head watching the scene. Merlin with a flame burning in the palm of his hand, revealing his true self to this boy in an attempt to convince him not to fight. “Gods, you should never have been made to feel that way .” The next scenes were of their quest to find the Cup of Life. Then the loss of Camelot and Morgana crowned queen, slaughtering its citizens in her lust for power . Her telling their father that she hated him. Merlin retrieving the sword from the Lake of A valon to save Camelot from the immortal Army by spilling the blood from the Cup of Life, the Doracha, the death of Uther, and Merlin saving the dragon’ s egg from the tomb of Ashkanar and hatching the white dragon into the world…her name was Aithusa. The battle with Queen Annis and her giant and watching Merlin’ s eyes flash gold as he helped Arthur in the fight when Mor gana’ s spell made his sword impossible to wield. Then came the moment both he and Gwaine had wondered about. Merlin restrained, hanging by his arms in Mor gana’ s hovel in pain and soaking wet. Mor gana putting the head of a damn snake in the back of his neck commanding him to kill Arthur . Followed by Merlin’ s many failed attempts to obey her . It was then that something occurred to Gwaine. “Arthur, when we found him, he was covered in mud from head to toe and you hugged him anyway . Was that the only time you ever showed him af fection? Every time prior, at the Fisher King’ s castle, after he survived the Doracha, you never embraced him like that.” “No, ” Arthur shook his head, “He tried to hug me once and I refused.” “You do realize that the one and only time you ever hugged him he was under Mor gana’ s control. It is likely that he never even remembered it.” Arthur lowered his gaze and let out a breath, “Y ou are right, Gwaine. I kept him at arms- length, but not for the reason you think.” “Oh, I know why, ” Gwaine smirked. “Enlighten me then, ” Arthur said. “Because you knew, if you gave into those feelings, that there would be no turning back.” “I loved him…” “And he loved you. He was Mor gana’ s prisoner, ” Gwaine said, “She was controlling Merlin, and yet every assassination attempt failed almost comically . That tells me Merlin’ s magic was protecting you even though he was not in control.” Arthur nodded, “I have no doubt. He was incapacitated and dying when he sent that light to me in the cave when I went in search of the Mortaeus flower .” The battle between Mor gana and Old Merlin was brutal. Arthur was stunned to see the raw power of his sister and his best friend and knew full well that Merlin could have killed her at any time. He had been holding back. Gwaine was surprised too, letting out a gasp when Merlin swept her up in a mighty whirlwind tossing her like a ragdoll. Then destroying the Fomorrah freeing himself from her control only to return to Camelot and find himself forced into a training session with Geor ge. “Oh, now that was just plain cruel, Arthur, ” Gwaine laughed, “Poor Merlin.” “I thought it was funny at the time, ” Arthur said, “But not so much now that I know what he went through. I feel like such a fool…a selfish idiot.” The images flashed faster, the Lamia then the return of Lancelot who had not actually been Lancelot, but a shade sent by Mor gana to interfere in his and Guinevere’ s wedding. Arthur was relieved to know the truth…to know his friend Lancelot had not actually betrayed him. He chuckled as he saw Merlin’ s little pranks on him while Mithian was in Camelot. The spilling of the soup, the uncontrollable burping. “Jealous, Merlin, ” Gwaine laughed heartily . “Jealous, no, he was just upset that I was moving on from Guinevere.” “No, my friend, that was pure jealousy because he was watching the man he loved with yet another beautiful woman, ” Gwaine smirked. “Don’ t be ridiculous, Gwaine, ” Arthur shook his head then watched the images from the hunt and the deer which had been an enchanted Guinevere. He saw Merlin’ s eyes flash gold and the arrow he had shot went wide only for Mithian to fire and hit her . He felt sick to his stomach. Merlin had ridden out in the night alone to find her…healed her with his magic. “Merlin…” Arthur choked. Then came the deception of Agravaine, Arthur wanted to punch something as he saw all that his uncle had done. He had been working with Mor gana from the start. Undermining his authority at every turn. The kidnapping of Gaius, yet another time when Arthur should have listened to Merlin and did not. Merlin using magic to turn him into a simpleton and putting him in those ridiculous clothes. Then an image of Merlin calling Kilgharrah and the dragon wiping out the majority of Agravaine’ s army . Gwaine let out an impressed whistle and Arthur wanted to see it again… there was just something about Merlin’ s dragon powers…the deep, resonating, almost animalistic tone to his voice. Next came the image that confirmed Arthur ’s fears. Merlin in the tunnels, facing Agravaine and what was left of his army and being forced to use his magic to kill them all. “Merlin did kill Agravaine, ” Arthur said. “I should have listened to him when he tried to tell me that my uncle was working against me. Merlin should not have been put in that position…I let him go back there alone. It should have been me to face him. I should never have trusted my uncle.” “Agravaine was your family, it is understandable that you would trust him.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “I should have learned from Mor gana’ s betrayal that family means nothing. Even my father betrayed me in so many ways. It was Merlin, all these years… Merlin who I should have trusted fully, he was my other half…my friend, my family, and more.” “More?” Gwaine grinned. “Shut up, ” Arthur rolled his eyes. The next image was Arthur pulling the sword from the stone, the golden light, and the pride in Merlin’ s eyes as he’d helped Arthur to believe in himself again. Merlin sneaking back into the citadel planting some magical object under Mor gana’ s bed that had rendered her temporarily powerless. Now, he knew the meaning behind her comment about Emrys. How wrong she had been, because Emrys was right there in front of her all along, protecting Arthur . Merlin had saved them yet again and they had retaken Camelot and Mor gana disappeared. As the images moved on into the last year, before the battle at Camlann, Arthur saw for the first time just how hard it had been for Merlin. How weighed down and unhappy he had become, rarely smiling. T ears filled his eyes as he saw Merlin fighting every single damn day to keep him alive. The worst was seeing him dying alone on the forest floor after being poisoned by Mor gana and thrown over a clif f only to recover with the help of that boy and then they returned to Camelot in time to save Arthur from the Sarrum’ s assassin. An assassin Guinevere ordered. Seeing her now, knowing it was her all along trying to kill him because of Mor gana’ s ritual. He could barely breathe as he saw Merlin’ s tears after he had uttered the deep guttural words to heal Arthur from the poison, once again saving his king. Then saving Guinevere from Mor gana’ s curse, becoming The Dolma to do so, because he could not use magic in front of Arthur . “Oh, Merlin, ” Arthur gasped. The rest was a blur, the betrayal of Mordred, the creature that stole Merlin’ s magic, his goodbye to Gwaine, the confrontation between him and Mor gana in the cave, and Merlin healing. Regaining his magic in time to warn Arthur using the crystals. When it was all over, Arthur and Gwaine stood frozen in place struggling to grasp it all. “Gwaine, I saw the look in your eyes when you and Merlin parted. Y ou knew…” Arthur turned to him and shook his head. “Not exactly, I wondered if he had magic, but I never knew for certain. Just something inside me knew that would be the last time I would see Merlin. I felt it, deep in my soul, that one or both of us would not survive.” Arthur watched the last of the images. The moment Merlin told him he had magic…that he was a sorcerer . He was ashamed as Gwaine watched his reaction expecting to feel his knight’ s judgment. “You took it better than I thought you would, ” Gwaine said with a huf f. “Yes, well, I am not proud of that. I should have been more understanding…what it took for him to finally tell me his deepest secret.” The last scene was the moment Merlin sacrificed himself and as it faded away they both stood there silent and stunned. “Do you understand, ” Balinor asked as he stepped forward, “Why Merlin is afraid?” Arthur shook his head, “It does not matter…none of it matters, Balinor . I want…I need to see Merlin…to talk to him.” “Then you can for give my son?” Balinor asked. “No, ” Arthur said, “There is nothing to for give. It is I who needs to make amends for what I did, for how I treated him. I need to ask him to for give me.” “Arthur…” Merlin’ s voice came from all around them, and Arthur smiled. “Merlin, thank God, ” he let out a breathy laugh, “Merlin, please, I need you to show yourself to me…you have nothing to fear .” Balinor stepped back revealing Merlin standing just behind him, an uneasy smile on his face. Arthur stared at him unable to believe he was really there. Merlin came closer, like his father, there was a bluish glow around him, but he was solid…he was there. He reached out a hand to touch the face of his king, but all Arthur could feel was a warm tingling sensation. His heart sank as he had hoped to be able to touch Merlin. “I am so glad to see you, ” Arthur breathed out. “You really came, ” Merlin said, “I mean, I hoped, but I wasn’ t sure how you felt about magic after everything.” “I need to feel you, ” Arthur choked. It was a struggle to find the words, to get out what he needed to say before Merlin went away again. “I’m afraid that’ s not possible, but I am here, Arthur .” “Merlin, for give me…there is so much I did not know . Things you went through. The loss of your father, Freya, W ill…I am so sorry I was not there for you all those times you needed me. I am sorry I let you be captured and tortured by Mor gana. I am sorry for the hurtful thing I said to you before Camlann, you are not a coward, and you were always the bravest man I ever met. I was stupid and selfish; I should have seen that you were in trouble.” “You had a war looming, I never blamed you for that. If it makes you feel any better, I cheated at dice in the tavern that night when I took all your money, ” Merlin gave him a cheeky grin. “Not the first time is it, ” Arthur chuckled. “Gaius told you what happened? Why I had to leave?” “We pieced it together, ” Arthur glanced at Gwaine, “Gaius just confirmed it.” Merlin then looked at Gwaine, “Hello, Gwaine!” “Merlin, ” Gwaine smiled through his own tears, “I miss you, my friend. Thank you for bringing me back from the dead.” “Anytime, ” Merlin smiled then turned back to Arthur . “I tried so hard to get to you before Mordred could…” Merlin said lowering his gaze, “Kilgharrah warned me long ago when Mordred first came to Camelot…he said I should let him die or kill him myself and I just could not do it. Mor gana…what she became was all my fault.” “None of it was your fault and I am proud of you for not acting on the dragon’ s warnings. Mordred deserved to live…he deserved a chance to choose his own path and he did so. If anything, I pushed him right into Mor gana’ s waiting arms.” Merlin nodded, “Y ou…me…Mor gana…Mordred…our destinies were entwined. Everything happened because I lost sight of my humanity and made choices that I should not have made. If I had reached out to Mor gana and Mordred…if I had told you about my magic sooner… Arthur shook his head, “W e haven’ t much time, Merlin, I do not want to dwell on the past. The magic in the crystal will not last much longer . Gods, I want so badly to hold you in my arms right now, to tell you…” “I know, Arthur, ” Merlin smiled fondly . “No, I need to tell you, ” Arthur said with tears sliding down his face, “I love you, Merlin. I love you more than I can ever say . I am sorry I buried my feelings for you. I was scared…” “Arthur, ” Merlin grinned, “I love you too. From the moment we met, I think.” “You called me an ass, ” Arthur chuckled through his tears. “And a prat, ” Merlin smiled, “But there is no one I would have rather served. I told you, I was born to serve you, Arthur, and I am so damn proud of that. I would not change a single thing.” “Oh, Guinevere is with child, ” Arthur said, “I’m going to be a father . She wanted me to thank you for all you did for her as well.” Merlin beamed, “That makes me very happy . Knowing your child will grow up with both parents in a kingdom of peace. Just promise you won’ t name him after me…or her .” “There will always only be one Merlin in my life, ” Arthur smiled, tears pooling in his eyes. “You are the other half of my soul and I feel so lost without you by my side. I should have told you long ago what you mean to me, Merlin.” “I think I knew . Sometimes the way you looked at me…I felt it. Even when you were throwing things and calling me names. Arthur chuckled, “Horseplay…” “I didn’ t mind really .” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, what you did…what you lost…your magic and your life. I was meant to die, not you. Do you even know what your sacrifice did to the prophecies? What will happen now? W ill you return one day, as I was meant to?” “Arthur, I did what I had to do to make sure you lived. Y ou are the king; I was but a servant. I would make the same decision all over again. My magic will never be completely gone as it is a part of my soul. As far as the prophecies…I do not know any more now than I did in life, except that you will live on to be the king I always dreamed you would be. And you have Gwen and soon a child. Remember me, live for me, be happy and tell everyone back in Camelot that I am all right. I am at peace.” Arthur brought his hands up trying to feel Merlin there, but he was just ener gy…magic. “I want you back, ” he said softly . Merlin’ s eyes glistened as he appeared to be crying, “Arthur, please do not feel sadness or grief any longer . I am and always will be a part of you. Look after Gaius for me, tell him I’m sorry for leaving him. T ell my mother that I love her and that I am with my father . Tell Kilgharrah that I expect him to do all he can to protect you and Camelot in my absence. Merlin stepped closer pressing his forehead to Arthur ’s even though they couldn’ t actually feel each other . “I will make sure that you are remembered by everyone in the kingdom and beyond. I want to honor you the way you should have been in life.” “That is not why I did it, Arthur . I do not need honor or recognition. I just need to know that you are alive and well and happy, ” Merlin said then drew back slightly, “Arthur, Mor gana is with me. All this time she was under a curse placed on her by Mor gause during the year she was missing. It twisted her anger and fear turning her into a monster . She wanted me to tell you she is sorry for everything, though she knows that means little after all she did.” “Mor gana was cursed?” Arthur asked and Merlin nodded. “She is free of it, it released her when she died. She is at peace now, Arthur . Remember Morgana as she was before, kind, beautiful, and full of life. I am going to look after her as I should have done in life.” “Thank you, Merlin, ” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her that I understand, that I for give her . That I still love her, I always did.” Merlin smiled, “I will tell her .” Then he looked at Gwaine and smiled, “Y ou will look after this dollop head for me?” “Always, Merlin, ” Gwaine nodded, “It was good to see you again.” “You too, old friend, ” Merlin said then turned back to Arthur, “I must go now . The magic of the crystal is fading.” “No, not yet, ” Arthur said his voice catching in his throat, “Please…” “I have to go, but before I do…I need you to promise me that you will not use the Crystal of Neahtid to try to summon me again.” “No, Kilgharrah made that quite clear, ” Arthur shook his head. “Good, ” Merlin smiled, “T ell me you haven’ t replaced me with a bootlicker .” “I can never replace you, Merlin…with a bootlicker or otherwise.” “Time to go, Arthur, ” Merlin said taking a step back, “Goodbye…be well and be happy .” “Merlin…” “Always…” Merlin said as he and his father stepped back vanishing in a bright bluish-white light. Arthur stood where he was for several minutes then collapsed to his knees, bowing his head. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, “Are you all right?” “No, ” he huf fed a laugh, “But I suppose I will have to be.” “Come on, let’ s get you out of here, ” Gwaine retrieved the crystal slipping it back into the leather pouch that Arthur had dropped on the ground. He relit the torch and nodded. “W e will get some food and rest then we can head back. W e should be able to reach Camelot before nightfall if we hurry .” Arthur got to his feet and with one last glance at the place where Merlin had stood, he turned and followed his knight out of the cave. He paused for a moment at the entrance when he heard Merlin’ s distant voice. Goodbye, Clotpole. He laughed aloud and Gwaine turned to look at him. “What?” “Nothing…let’ s go home, ” Arthur smiled then putting his arm around the other man’ s shoulder, they walked back to their camp. The Circle of Life Six months later… Arthur paced the floor just outside of Gaius’ chambers his hands clasped behind his head, worry etched on his face, and tears pooling in his eyes. He was terrified. He kept seeing over and over in his head, his Guinevere collapsing to the floor in the middle of the feast, clutching her swollen belly, crying out in pain. She had looked up at him as he tried to comfort her after sending for Gaius. Arthur…our baby…something is wr ong… The sheer terror he felt at that moment. His mother had died giving birth to him. W as fate so cruel that it would cause history to repeat itself? W ould he lose his beautiful Guinevere and their baby? No, this cannot happen…not again. He glanced at the closed door again hearing whimpers and cries from his wife. Gaius had forced him to leave, he needed room to work, and Arthur was in the way, but he wanted to be with her . Needed to be with her . He turned and stopped short of punching the stone wall, instead pressing his palms flat against it then bowed his head. “Please…please, do not take them, ” his voice came out in a stuttered cry of sheer pain. “Y ou took my mother…you took my father…” He let out a ragged breath then looked up, “Y ou took Merlin from me. Please, I beg of you, ” Arthur choked, “Do not take my Guinevere… our child. I will do anything…anything…” “Arthur, ” Hunith said from the doorway, “You should come in now .” “Hunith I can’ t…I can’ t lose them, ” he closed his eyes to hold back the tears as she caressed his cheek. “Arthur, come inside, ” she nodded the grief in her eyes and her reassuring touch forced him to pull himself together he stepped into the room where Guinevere lay on the bed next to the fire. She reached her hand out for him and he dropped to his knees kissing it and then her forehead. Her hair was wet, and her face twisted in pain. “Arthur…” she gasped. She was so weak that she could barely lift her head. “Guinevere, please don’ t leave me, ” he whispered, “I love you…” he looked up at Gaius meeting the old physician’ s gaze. His eyes held the same grief as Hunith’ s. “Gaius, save them, please…you have to save them!” “I’ve done all I can, Arthur, ” Gaius said, “The baby is coming, but I am afraid there is much bleeding inside. The baby is turned the wrong way…a breech. I cannot risk trying to turn the baby with Gwen already bleeding so heavily . To do so would risk both their lives.” Arthur nodded in understanding then looked into Gwen’ s eyes, “I am so sorry .” “Arthur, I don’ t want to leave you, ” she cried. “There has to be something…magic…” he lowered his head. “My magic is not powerful enough, Sire, ” Gaius said as he sat down on a bench. “If Merlin were here…” “Arthur, I’m afraid this would not even be within his power .” Gwen screamed, her fingers gripping the edges of the bed. She was shaking uncontrollably, and her skin was cold to the touch. Arthur was lost, he did not know what to do, and he was afraid to touch her and cause her more pain. He looked down seeing the blood and he knew…he was losing her . Hunith put her hands on Arthur ’s shoulders, “Arthur, let me take care of her .” He looked up at her and gave a slight nod then got to his feet moving to sit on the steps leading to Merlin’ s old room. Drawing his knees up, he pressed his hands to his face and wept silently . Merlin stood on the shore of A valon a heavy feeling had settled over him. Something was wrong…very wrong. Arthur… He bent down and placed a hand over the water, his eyes flashing gold. He saw Arthur lost and alone as Gwen screamed in pain. He heard Gaius and saw his mother helping to take care of her . “No!” Merlin yelled as he saw the blood and he knew . “No, please!” he screamed into the sky, “Stop this, please…Arthur cannot lose them!” “My child…” a woman wrapped in a soft white glow appeared over the water, “What distresses you so?” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur has lost enough. Do not take his wife and baby . I beg of you, White Goddess. Spare them.” “You insist on challenging the fates yet again for your king?” she asked with a raised eyebrow and a soft smile. “Have you not yet learned your lesson…what happens when you go against destiny?” “Save them, please! I will do anything. Y ou can take back my magic…” “Ah, Merlin, even in this world you continue to sacrifice yourself for King Arthur . He has moved on, as should you. I will not take back your magic.” “I cannot stand by and allow him to suf fer the loss of Gwen and their child. Not when there is something I can do to save them!” Merlin shouted. “What makes you think you can save them?” The Goddess studied him with narrowed eyes then lifted her head slightly and smiled. “V ery well…choose one, ” she said bluntly . “What?” he asked, his eyes going wide. “Choose, Merlin, Guinevere, or the child. Choose, or both will die.” “How can I possibly make such a choice?” “You must do so now, my child. The queen or the heir? Which will live?” Merlin dropped to his knees on the shore, tears streaming down his face. He lowered his head focusing on the images in the water . Gwen or the baby, he could not choose…but if he did not, Arthur would lose them both. The kingdom would lose its queen and the heir to the throne…Arthur ’s legacy . “Merlin, you must choose, ” the White Goddess said. Looking up at her, his eyes wide and filled with tears, “Arthur will be devastated.” “Yes, he will be, but you can spare him the loss of his wife or his child. I am only of fering you this chance out of love for you, my proudest creation…my gift to the world.” Merlin looked down at the images on the water's surface again then got to his feet. He swiped at his eyes and looked at her . His voice came out rough and deep. “I choose the child. Save their baby, please.” “Very well, ” the goddess nodded then she took the tip of her silver staf f and swirled it through the images in the water and her eyes glowed bright white. Merlin stumbled back a step. A moment later she was gone, and he was alone. Arthur sat on the steps holding the tiny bundle in his arms, tears sliding down his face. His son…he had a son. He pressed his lips to the tiny head, a sob escaping his chest. His beautiful Guinevere was gone. How would he ever be able to go on without her? “Arthur, would you like me to take him?” Hunith asked. “No, not yet, ” he shook his head. “I want you to know, that I will stay in Camelot and help you all I can, ” she said softly . “Thank you, Hunith, ” he gave her a sad smile, “He’ s beautiful, isn’ t he.” “Yes, he is, ” she said pulling a small stool over so she could sit next to them. “Have you thought of a name?” Arthur nodded, “His name will be Gavin…Gavin Thomas Pendragon.” Hunith smiled, “That is the perfect name. Gavin is a bird…like a Merlin.” “Yes, it is. How do I do this alone?” Arthur asked, “How did you raise Merlin all alone?” “We do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy, Arthur . That is all we can do.” Arthur glanced over at the bed where a sheet covered the body of his Guinevere. “I failed her…I cannot fail him.” “These things happen, it was not your fault. The fact that Gavin survived is a miracle. I have helped to deliver many babies who were breech and they did not make it.” “Gaius…” Arthur said. “He will return soon. He went to inform the court and to make arrangements…” “I just…I can’ t believe she is gone, ” Arthur shook his head. “I know, I am so deeply sorry . She was a wonderful woman and queen.” “Thank you for all you did for her through the last months. She loved you so much.” “And I her, we grew close during the time she lived with me in Ealdor . Arthur, she loved you deeply . She wanted this baby…she wanted you to have a son to carry on the Pendragon legacy . She told me many times that meant everything to her .” “I just never thought I would be raising him on my own.” “You will not be alone, you have so many people who love you, Arthur . You are like a son to me. I could not have gotten through Merlin’ s death without you and Gwen. I will always be here for you and Gavin, I promise.” “Thank you, ” Arthur smiled reaching over to grasp her hand, “Having you here helped me too.” “Perhaps you should take Gavin to your chambers and get some rest, Arthur . I have arranged for a cradle to be placed in your room. I will come for you when she is ready, and I will stay with him while you say your goodbyes. I must go to the kitchen to prepare more of the milk for his next feeding.” Arthur stared at the bed and then nodded. “All right, ” he said then got up carefully supporting the head of his infant son. He kissed Hunith on the forehead then left the room walking down the corridor . He was glad that he did not meet anyone along the way . It was after midnight. W alking into the chambers he had shared with Guinevere he felt the weight of her loss. Glancing down at the child in his arms he smiled. “I won’ t let you down, Guinevere, ” he said softly, “I will raise our son. I will never let him forget his mother . He will be loved and cherished, and I promise he will never doubt his worth.” Merlin smiled through his tears as he watched the scene in the water . “Arthur, I am so sorry, ” he whispered. He turned as he heard a noise behind him. He saw Gwen coming toward the lake, looking as she did when she was a servant, wearing the pink dress she had worn the day he took her to the woods to meet Arthur for their picnic. He shook his head as she looked up and saw him. “Merlin!” she gasped and ran into his waiting arms. “Gwen, I am so sorry, ” he choked, tears running down his face. “Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for .” “I wanted to save you both…but the White Goddess forced me to choose.” “I don’ t understand, ” Gwen said softly cupping his cheek. “I asked her to save you and the baby, but she made me choose between you. I chose to save the baby, ” Merlin said his voice breaking. “Oh, Merlin, ” Gwen smiled brightly, “Thank you…thank you for saving my child. All I wanted was for my baby to live. That is all a mother can ask for .” “Arthur…” “Arthur will be all right, ” she said, “He will be a wonderful father . I have no doubt.” “I was afraid…” Merlin shook his head, “I felt Arthur ’s despair, I just wanted to help.” “And you did, Merlin. Y ou saved my life many times, you saved my father, and now you have saved my beautiful baby . I owe you a debt I can never repay .” She stepped back and looked at him, “Y ou look good, Merlin. I have missed you.” “My magic has been slowly returning.” “So, this is where we go when it is over, ” Gwen said, “Y ou are here to greet me?” “Yes, well…it’ s the gateway, ” Merlin nodded, “I just like it here. It is peaceful.” “Where do I go next?” “Come with me, ” he smiled then led her out onto the water . He waved a hand and a doorway appeared. It opened and she looked at him with a fond smile. “You’re coming with me then?” “No, but you won’ t be alone, ” he nodded as Elyan and T om appeared in the open doorway . “Father! Elyan!” Gwen beamed then embraced Merlin, “Thank you for being here for me.” “I love you, Gwen, ” he said then kissed her tenderly, “Go on, now, your family is waiting.” Gwen stepped through the door, and it vanished. Merlin stood there for a moment then looked up as the White Goddess appeared to him again. “It seems you made the right choice, my child.” “Thank you for your help. What will happen now?” “The child will live, it seems he has his own destiny, ” she smiled. “What do you mean?” “That is not for you to know…not yet, ” the goddess said then vanished in a white light. “Great, ” Merlin muttered, “Y ou’re worse than Kilgharrah.” Three years later… “Gavin!” Hunith called after the young prince, “Gavin, come here child. Are you trying to give me a fright? T ake pity on this old woman.” “Sorry, ” the little sandy-haired, blue-eyed boy gave her a sheepish grin, “I want to see father .” “A training field is no place for a little one, ” Hunith beamed as she scooped him up in her arms. He kicked his legs gently, pressing his hand to her cheek. “Please, Hunith…” Letting out a breath, she shook her head, “Fine, but just for a little while. Then you are going to eat your lunch and take an afternoon nap. Promise?” Gavin nodded, “Promise!” Hunith carried him to the training field where Arthur was working with his new knights. Gwaine and Percival lingered of f to the side drinking from the water bucket, covered in sweat. It was already hot, and it was only late morning. Arthur glanced over, spotting them, and ran over to kiss his son’ s chubby cheek. “Y ou want to watch?” he asked, and Gavin nodded emphatically . “One day you will join us, my boy .” “That is a long time away, ” Hunith chided Arthur with a wink. “Yes, of course, ” he chuckled then kissed Gavin again before jogging back to his men. Hunith moved to a bench and sat down putting Gavin on his feet while keeping her arm around him so he would not run out onto the field and get in the way . She watched as Arthur fought three knights at once and as usual, he defeated each of them with strength and stamina. She smiled as she remembered Merlin telling her how he and Arthur met. Her boys…all three of them, she thought as she kissed the top of Gavin’ s head. She lost Merlin, but she loved Arthur and Gavin as her own, feeling as proud of them as any mother would. As Ygraine would. A second group of knights, this time four, surrounded Arthur . She noted that one of them wore leather armor which she thought was odd. Arthur did not seem concerned about it as he began to spar with the four men. Hunith caught a glimpse, a flash of metal that was out of place. Before she could react the man with the leather rushed forward slicing at Arthur ’s throat with a dagger only to hit an invisible force his eyes widening in surprise for a split second before Arthur ran him through with his sword. He turned to look at his son, breathing hard and shaking. Gavin was standing with one arm raised and his eyes shimmering gold. Hunith looked from him to Arthur in shock. Neither of them said anything not wanting to draw attention to the boy. She had suspected for a while now that Gavin had magic…now there could be no doubt. He just saved his father ’s life without uttering a word of a spell. “That’ s enough, ” Arthur growled at his men, “Get this rubbish of f the field.” He walked over to Gavin picking him up in his arms. “Gavin, you did that?” The boy nodded. “Couldn’ t let that bad man hurt you, ” he said then his face fell, “Am I in trouble?” “No, no, my boy, ” Arthur kissed his forehead, “Y ou’re not in trouble, love.” He looked at Hunith questioningly then they walked back to the castle together . “I guess now we know .” “Yes, ” she said, “Are you all right?” “Yes, thanks to my son.” “I was referring to what he did. Are you all right with the magic?” Arthur shook his head, “I am not scared of it, if that is what you’re asking. How did you feel when you realized Merlin had magic at such an early age?” Hunith laughed, “Merlin was much younger when I first saw his magic.” “Really?” Arthur asked. “Yes, the first time his eyes turned gold I was so frightened I nearly dropped him. He was only a week old at the time.” “So, he was literally born with it, ” Arthur shook his head, “And now my Gavin has magic. What I do not understand is how . Guinevere did not have magic and I definitely do not have it. I wish Gaius were here, could really use his help.” Gaius had passed on just a year earlier . Hunith had taken over as healer and caretaker for Gavin. Arthur would have been lost without her in their lives since Guinevere died. “Who else can I go to?” “Maybe reach out to the Druids, they may know . Or Kilgharrah…” Arthur nodded, “If anyone would know the answer it would be the dragon.” It had become a regular occurrence for Arthur to go to the clearing and call to him. He would come and they would talk about Merlin and how much they missed him. Kilgharrah had explained the prophecies and his and Merlin’ s parts in them. He still did not know the lasting ef fects of Merlin’ s death. The Gods, or Fates, or whoever had not seen fit to reveal what lay ahead for them all. “I will go to him before nightfall.” “I want to go, ” Gavin said, “Please, father .” “All right, ” Arthur smiled, “I will take you, but only if you do what Hunith says and eat your lunch and take a nap.” “All right, ” he grinned. “I should come along too, ” Hunith said, “That way I can bring Gavin home when he gets too tired out. I know you will want to stay longer .” “You’re so good to us, ” Arthur smiled then kissed her cheek. “I have to take care of my boys, ” she winked then took Gavin from his father, “All right, food then nap, then we will go see the dragon.” Arthur stood there watching his giggling son and the woman who gave up everything to take care of them. He now knew exactly where Merlin inherited his deep compassion and his intelligence. Hunith reminded him so much of her son in the little facial expressions and the way she could look at him and know exactly what he was thinking. Arthur could not have survived the last three years without her support, her steadfast courage, and strength. Having her there was the next best thing to having Merlin himself. “Arthur, ” Leon said as he came toward him, “What happened back there on the training field?” “That new knight…Magne…he attacked me with a dagger . I killed him.” “I’m talking about the magic, Sire, ” the taller man said. “Yes, that, ” Arthur said as he turned and started walking up the steps. “Arthur?” Letting out a breath, Arthur glanced around and then moved closer to Leon. “It was Gavin.” Leon’ s eyes went wide, “Gavin has magic? How?” “I have no idea, but I need to find out. I will be going to the clearing before sunset with Gavin and Hunith, ” he said, “I need to speak with Kilgharrah.” “I should come with you, or Gwaine, ” he said. “We will be fine, but thank you, Leon.” “Magne was a traitor . We searched his quarters and found evidence that he was working for someone, but we do not know yet who it was.” “Could be anyone, ” Arthur shook his head and continued walking up the stairs to the next floor . He turned the corner and headed for the council chambers. “There are many who are resisting the uniting of the five kingdoms under my rule.” “But the kings and queens have all sworn their allegiance and agreed to the terms.” “True, but there are others who are not so accepting of their decision. Many lords feel entitled to their kingdom’ s wealth and power which will now fall under Camelot’ s control and protection. In doing so it limits their ability to become wealthier of f the backs of the citizens. Keeps them from abusing their titles.” Leon smiled, “If your father could see what you have accomplished, Arthur…” “He would still find fault in it, as he always did. I no longer care about my father ’s approval or acceptance. He was wrong in all his decisions. W rong for his hate and bigotry and the genocide of hundreds…if not thousands of innocent people with and without magic.” “Well, for what it is worth, I am proud of you, Arthur, ” Leon said, “Y ou are a far better man and king than Uther ever was.” “And I owe it all to Merlin, ” Arthur said softly, “Without him…Camelot would not be standing, and I would not be king.” “That may be true, but it was you that Merlin fought for, not the kingdom. It was his belief… his love that made him choose to fight by your side.” Arthur nodded and let out a breath, “I still miss him, and I miss my beautiful Guinevere.” “I know you do, ” Leon said, “At least you have Gavin.” “Yes, and Gavin has magic, ” Arthur huf fed a laugh. “Should make life interesting.” “To say the least.” “It is good you have Hunith to help. The voice of experience when it comes to magic.” “I am eternally grateful for her . I would be lost without Hunith’ s guidance and support.” “Like her son, ” Leon said knowingly, and Arthur smiled. “I must go now, Gwaine is speaking to people trying to find out if anyone knows where Magne came from.” “Keep me informed, ” Arthur said and watched as Leon walked down the corridor . He reached the door of the council chambers and went inside to find Percival studying a map. “Arthur, ” he said, “I was just looking over the finished map of the newly united kingdoms. It is amazingly well done and detailed.” “You always did love your maps, ” Arthur grinned. “When you have traveled as much as I, maps are interesting.” “I never imagined I would one day be the ruler over all five kingdoms as one.” “After you defeated Mor gana, they felt you were the leader they all needed.” “I did not do it alone, ” Arthur shook his head and sat down at the head of the table. “No, but it was you who inspired every man, woman, and child to fight for freedom. It was your love for your people that drove you, unlike some kings who only cared about themselves and no one else.” “It was my knights, my army, my queen, and…” Arthur ’s voice trailed of f. “Merlin, ” Percival said. “Yes, ” Arthur nodded, “If not for him I could have easily turned into one of those kings. He and Guinevere taught me so much about compassion and strength…putting others first no matter what their station. They showed me that a person’ s title or position in life does not determine their worth, as did Gwaine. Lancelot taught me to stand for what I believed in… for what was right and good. Y ou, Percival, showed me that strength and bravery were not enough and that I needed to be open-minded and listen to people. Gaius’ skills as a physician, Leon’ s loyalty, and Elyan’ s determination…all of you have made me the king I am.” Percival smiled, “And none of us would be here if not for Merlin.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “Y es, you are right. Sometimes I think Gwaine and Lancelot were more loyal to Merlin than to me.” “Gwaine told me some of what you two witnessed in the Crystal Cave, ” Percival said as he took a seat to Arthur ’s right. “Merlin should have a statue erected in the square in his honor .” Arthur grinned, “Merlin would hate it. All he did, he did not want rewards or to be celebrated…just to be accepted for who he was…to be free.” “Free to use his magic, ” Percival nodded. “Every time I think about the danger he faced every single day he lived in Camelot. All the hangings, beheadings, the pyres in the courtyard…all those people, they could have been him at any given moment and I would have been powerless to stop it while my father lived.” “You would have found a way . You would never have let Merlin die like that.” “No, instead he sacrificed himself for me.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom.” “His dream of being free…it is not fair that he died never knowing freedom. He lived his entire life in fear of persecution, slavery, and death. He deserved that chance.” “Yes, he did, ” Percival nodded, “But you were more important to him than his freedom…his life. He proved that over and over again. Do you think there is a chance that one day he will return?” “I do not know . He didn’ t know either . The prophecies said I would die, and he would live on.” “His magic made him immortal.” “He told me that his magic will never totally be gone because it is a part of him, part of his soul.” “Then perhaps once his magic is at full strength, he will be able to return. He will be immortal again, ” Percival said. “I am not sure that is how it works. He no longer has a body anyway; it was burned by Kilgharrah on A valon. Even if he could return, his soul would have nowhere to go.” Percival nodded, “W e all miss him. He was like a brother to all of us.” Arthur ran a hand through his hair, “He was everything to me.” “I know, Arthur . I may not have been here in the beginning, but I saw enough to know that you loved him as much as he loved you. Even if you could not show it.” Clearing his throat awkwardly, Arthur leaned forward pulling the map closer, “Let’ s have a look at this map.” Percival smiled, “Y es, Sire.” “It’s a beautiful evening, ” Hunith said inhaling the fresh air as she rode the dark gray mare next to Arthur on his white stallion Apollo with Gavin in front of him. “Yes, it is, ” Arthur smiled. Gavin looked up at him and grinned, “Going to see Killy!” Arthur laughed, “Y es, we are. Though I’m not sure you should call him that.” “He likes me, ” Gavin said. “Yes, he does. He said you were special. I guess now we know what he meant.” “Like Merlin, ” the boy grinned. “Just like Merlin, ” Arthur wrapped his arm around Gavin pulling him closer, kissing the top of his beautiful son’ s dark blonde head. “Y our mother would be so proud of you, little one… so brave and smart.” “Like his father, ” Hunith smiled, and Arthur laughed. Reaching their destination, Arthur dismounted and put Gavin down on the ground watching as the boy ran to the center of the clearing, looking up into the sky . He then turned to help Hunith down and tethered the horses to a tree while she went to join Gavin. He looked around, taking in their surroundings. He reached for his sword as a sudden feeling of unease washed over him. Shaking his head, he drew the sword and called to Kilgharrah and waited. “Arthur, ” Hunith turned to look back at him, her eyes wide as she seemed to be sensing something as well. Arthur took two steps toward Gavin. He heard a sound behind him and spun around as a heavy fog came out of nowhere, enveloping them making it impossible to see anything. He heard the sound of men rushing toward them, obscured by the fog, and ran to where he knew that Hunith and Gavin had been standing. They were gone. “Gavin! Hunith!” he yelled, “Where are you?” “Arthur!” he heard Hunith cry out and turned heading toward the sound of her voice. “No, get away from him!” Hunith screamed. “Leave him alone!” “Hunith!” Arthur caught a glimpse of five men dressed in leather and chain mail moving through the fog, wielding swords, and maces. They had not seen him, and he moved silently his heart pounding in his chest as he forced himself to focus. He looked up at the sky hoping to see the dragon and nearly tripped over Hunith who was on the ground a deep gash on her forehead. “Arthur, ” she gasped, tears streaming down her face as she grabbed his tunic, “I tried to stop them…they have Gavin!” “Hunith, take this, ” Arthur said handing her the dagger from his boot. “Can you walk?” he asked. “I think so, ” she nodded, and he helped her up leading her over to a stand of trees. “Stay here, I have to go after them, ” he said, “Which way did they take him?” “That way, ” Hunith motioned to her left, “Arthur…” The sound of heavy wings somewhere above made them both look up and Kilgharrah swooped down letting loose a hot breath that cleared the fog around them then he landed. “Kilgharrah, they have my son!” Arthur said, “I need your help.” The dragon launched into the air once again and circled overhead burning of f the fog until they could see the area. Arthur spotted two men and rushed them killing one. The other he shoved up against a tree the blade of his sword pressing against the man’ s throat. “Where’ s my son?” he roared. “Where you will never find him, ” the man grinned, his dark eyes cold. “Tell me now!” Arthur growled his blade drawing blood. “Never!” Arthur stepped back and drove his sword through the man killing him instantly . Looking up he saw Kilgharrah burn a trail taking out three more men. “They are heading east, ” Kilgharrah said then headed in that direction with Arthur following on the ground. He ran down an incline and through a ravine stopping as he heard Gavin crying in the distance. “Gavin!” Arthur called out and started running toward the sound of his son’ s voice. He scrambled over a rise and ran through a brook following tracks in the mud. He reached a ridge and looked down spotting a group of twelve men mounting horses one of them struggling to hold on to a squirming and kicking Gavin who was fighting with everything he had. “Gavin! Release him now!” Arthur shouted half running half sliding down the steep slope. “Let me go!” Gavin screamed, then bit the man holding him, on his upper arm. The man roared and slapped him hard and Gavin went limp. “No!” Arthur yelled, jumping over a fallen tree. Kilgharrah swooped down the men scattered firing crossbows at him to no ef fect. “Give me back my son!” he locked swords with three men who rushed him, he fought them of f killing two and wounding the third. When he looked around the man holding Gavin was nowhere in sight and Kilgharrah was laying down a trail of flames through the woods. “Gavin!” Arthur yelled his heart crushed in a vise of panic and desperation as he turned in a complete circle running a hand through his hair. Smoke from the fires and the still lingering fog made it impossible to see anything especially with the sun going down. Kilgharrah landed near Arthur . “I am sorry, Great King, ” he said, “I lost sight of them when they split up in the woods. I could have burned everything, but I was afraid I would harm the boy.” “They took him…they took my son, ” Arthur said fighting tears. He could not think, his hands were shaking. “Kilgharrah, I need you to go to Camelot and get help, please. I will go back and check on Hunith at the clearing. T ell my men to meet us there as soon as possible.” “I will go, ” the dragon said then leaped into the air flying for Camelot. Arthur pulled himself together and somehow made his way back to the clearing. He found Hunith sitting by a fire hugging herself, rocking back and forth with tears streaming down her face. She looked up as Arthur approached her, eyes going wide and full of hope that vanished when she did not see Gavin. “I am so sorry, ” she choked shaking her head, “I tried to hold on to Gavin, but they hit me.” Arthur crouched next to her, cupping her cheek, “It was not your fault. There’ s nothing you could have done. I chased them, I saw him, but they got away…I—I sent Kilgharrah for help. Did you hear or see anything that could help us find him?” Hunith thought for a moment then nodded, “I heard someone mention King Alined.” “Alined? Why would he take Gavin? Those men were not wearing Deorham colors.” “I also heard the name Amren, ” she said, and Arthur nodded. “Alined’ s son, Prince Amren…that makes more sense. He is the sole heir to the throne of Deorham and railed against the uniting of the kingdoms under my rule. He was to inherit the throne when Alined dies and was not pleased that his father signed the agreement that essentially gave away his birthright.” “But he will still be king, just under Camelot rule…your rule, ” Hunith said. “Yes, but he will not have the power his father had during his reign. I should have known he would retaliate. Dammit.” “He won’ t hurt Gavin, will he?” Hunith asked tears shining in her eyes. Arthur shook his head, “I do not know . The man holding Gavin slapped him to make him stop fighting him. He stopped moving.” “Dear Gods, ” she gasped, “Oh, Arthur, I’m so sorry .” “Hunith, stop blaming yourself, ” Arthur said, “If anyone is to blame it is me for coming here without protection.” “How did they even know you would be here?” “Obviously, there was someone else other than Magne in Camelot. They must have overheard us talking. The knights will be here soon. W e will get him back.” “What caused that fog?” Hunith asked. “Magic, I have seen it before. Only that time it was Merlin trying to help the Druids.” “They have magic…” “It seems so.” “What are you going to do?” “I’m going to find my son, and God help anyone who gets in my way, ” Arthur said, his eyes fierce and dark. The Calling Merlin felt it, the call of his magic…not from within but coming from the other side. Reaching, pulling, dragging him toward the edge of the lake. He ran through the woods, the sun’s rays filtering down through the branches. W ithout slowing his pace, he dove into the water swimming hard and fast until he saw the bright blinding light beneath the surface. He headed right for it and busted through the center exploding to the surface. His lungs burned his body suddenly felt heavy and awkward. He stumbled from the water collapsing to his knees on the shore digging his long fingers into the sand. Sucking in air, he looked up at the dark sky at the bright stars shining through gaps in a heavy fog that felt unnatural. He tried to stand, but his legs did not want to work. He let out a groan rolling onto his back. He was cold, trembling, and weak…he was alive. Alive and naked. “Ow, ” he moaned pressing his hand to his forehead. The magic was even stronger now, calling to him. He inhaled deeply trying to focus. He felt his magic sur ge within him in answer to the call. Whatever it was, it was bad…really bad. He needed to get up and move. Being slammed back into this body, his own body, he would have to figure out later how that was even possible when his body was burned to ash by dragon fire over three years prior . Merlin crawled up the shore and then stood on legs as wobbly as a newborn colt. His eyes flashed bright gold, focusing everything on finding his equilibrium and strengthening this new body . Running a hand through his dark hair he looked around. Please, help me… Hearing the words so clearly startled him. It sounded like a small child. He reached out with his magic, eyes burning gold as he sent his vision out into the woods over hills and through ravines, along a brook searching for the source. He found it in a camp hidden deep in a gully . Surrounded by fifteen men with three campfires, a small child sat huddled in a blanket his hands and feet tied. I hear you, little one. Merlin waited and listened for a response. Who was this child and why did his magic feel so familiar, like a part of his own? Merlin… How do you know my name? My father… Your father…what is your name? Gavin…Prince Gavin Pendragon… Merlin’ s knees nearly gave out again as the realization hit him. Gavin…Arthur and Gwen’ s son and he had magic…Merlin’ s magic. He was in trouble. I’m coming for you, Gavin. Do not give up. Hurry, Merlin… Keep talking to me, little one. I’m her e. Don’ t be scar ed. I want to go home…want my father… I will get you back to him, I pr omise. Merlin ran through the woods until he came to a village where people were settling in for the night. He skirted the edge until he found a house with nearly dry laundry hanging on a rack. He grabbed a worn brown tunic and a dark gray cloak with a hood, and brown trousers. He dressed quickly and then called a pair of boots to him from inside the house whispering a word to make them fit him. He then uttered an apology and a few words of magic to warm their hearth and stack their firewood. It was all he could do for now, he had to get to Gavin. The village didn’ t have any horses, so he focused on Gavin and started to run. He considered calling Kilgharrah, but from what he could tell the area was heavily wooded and the dragon would not be able to land nearby . He wasn’ t even sure if his Dragonlord powers would still work since he died and he had no son to pass them down to. Gavin, ar e you still with me? I’m her e…the man with strange eyes made me want to sleep. Someone with magic… Merlin… It’s all right, you r est. I will be ther e soon. I won’ t let anyone hurt you. Okay… Merlin clambered up a hillside, his eyes shining in the darkness helping him find his way . He was finally feeling at home in his own body again, his long legs strong and sure, his balance and focus returning. He couldn’ t help smiling it felt so good to be alive again and at the moment he wasn’ t about to question such a gift. W as this permanent or would he be forced to return to A valon? Taking every shortcut that he could remember, Merlin finally reached the camp. The men were sleeping except for two positioned at each end of the gully to watch for any sign of trouble. He lifted the hood of the cloak and lowered his head before walking boldly into the center of the camp. The guards jumped up drawing their swords. “Declare yourself, ” one of them said. Merlin saw Gavin sleeping up against the tree wrapped in a heavy blanket. He smiled and then turned to the guards. “Forgive my intrusion, I am a Druid, separated from my people, ” Merlin said. “Be on your way then, ” the taller of the guards growled. “I will, but first, may I warm myself by your fire?” “You may not!” Merlin shook his head and then lowered his hood. The guards rushed him, but he raised one hand and shouted a word. They hit a wall of magic and froze, their eyes wide with fear . Merlin felt movement behind him and turned as their sorcerer threw a spell at him. Almost as soon as the spell was cast the man froze as he recognized Merlin. “I know you! Merlin, isn’ t it…” “Alvarr, ” Merlin smirked. “You…you have magic!” “I was born with it.” “Are you him…are you Emrys?” Merlin shrugged, “Might be.” “What do you want? There is nothing here for you.” “Oh, you see there is. Y ou and your men kidnapped someone very important to me.” Alvarr looked over at the sleeping child. “It is not of my doing. Their orders came from someone in Deorham…from King Alined’ s court.” “Working for a warmonger king who prospers of f the backs of dead soldiers?” Merlin glanced around, “Casting sleeping spells on a frightened little boy . You should be ashamed of yourself.” “You have no right to judge me…you protected the Pendragons, ” Alvarr hissed closing the distance between them, “If you are truly the great Emrys why do you care about one young prince?” “Because I was born to serve the Once and Future King and you have taken his son. I cannot allow you to get away with that. I just spent the last three years in A valon, I am stronger now than I ever was before. If you want to live you will walk away and let me take him home to Camelot.” “Even if I do, they will not allow you to do that, ” Alvarr smiled smugly nodding to the now wide-awake mercenaries surrounding Merlin. “They will be more than happy to send you back to A valon.” Merlin’ s smile grew, “I’d like to see them try .” Alvarr ’s eyes flashed, and Merlin uttered a word throwing his arms out to the side. Every man in the camp except Alvarr dropped dead where they stood causing the latter ’s face to turn a few shades paler as he realized the truth. “Emrys, ” Alvarr said, “Please, do not harm me. W e are the same…” Merlin shook his head, “No, I am nothing like you. T o take an innocent child from his father . Using Mor gana all those years ago the way you did. Corrupting Mordred. I should kill you, but I am going to do something far worse and allow you to live, only without the one thing that makes you the monster you are. Y our magic. “No, please!” Alvarr shouted bringing his arms up. Merlin raised a hand and shouted a spell his eyes turning silver . Alvarr fell to the ground as his magic was ripped from his chest, shot into the air, and scattered like falling stars over the land as he cried and begged. When Merlin finished, he released him. “There now you will know what it is like to be powerless and frightened, ” Merlin said coldly, “Get up, run away…now!” Alvarr scrambled to his feet and ran into the woods without another word or even a glance back. Merlin then turned and gathered Gavin up in his arms uttering a spell to wake him. The boy looked so much like Arthur it brought tears to his eyes. He smiled, gently caressing his cheek as his eyes fluttered open. “Merlin?” he asked. “Yes, ” Merlin nodded, “Are you hurt?” “You really came for me, ” Gavin said. “Of course, ” Merlin grinned, “Y ou have magic.” “Like you, ” the boy said, “My father…told me you were gone.” “I was, but I’m not anymore. What do you say we get you back to him?” “He’ s far away, ” Gavin said his eyes welling up with tears. “We will find him…I found you, didn’ t I?” Merlin grinned, hugging him close and the boy wrapped his arms around his neck. “Hunith tried to stop the bad men from taking me. They hit her, ” Gavin choked, his little body trembling. Merlin’ s eyes widened, “My mother was with you and Arthur?” “She takes care of me, ” Gavin nodded, “W e were going to see Killy ‘cause I can do things.” “Killy?” Merlin asked with a grin. The thought of Kilgharrah allowing Gavin to call him that was quite amusing. “W ell, don’ t you worry, my mum is a tough woman. I am certain she is fine.” “She tells me stories about you, ” Gavin smiled through his tears. Merlin laughed as he sat the boy down by the fire to warm his hands and check him over for injuries finding only a few cuts and bruises, “I’m sure she does.” He whispered a word and the ropes fell away from his wrists and ankles. “There, you’re free now .” “You’re really not gone anymore?” “I’m here, Gavin. I do not know how, but your magic and mine are the same. It called me home.” “I’m glad…father misses you.” “And I missed him so much.” “Can you stay with us now?” Merlin had no idea whether he would be able to or not. W as this temporary or was he back for good? W as he immortal again? It was obvious that his magic was much stronger than before. “I’m not sure it is up to me, but I want to.” “Please stay…” Gavin said softly . “Come on, let’ s get you back to Arthur .” Gavin wrapped his arms around Merlin as he picked the exhausted boy up resting him on his hip. Reaching out with his magic he felt Arthur and smiled. “He’ s not far, he’s looking for you, ” he said, and Gavin buried his face in the crook of Merlin’ s neck. “Sleep little one, you’re safe now .” He smiled and then headed west, his magic guiding them through the woods. Arthur was barely able to focus, stumbling over the rough ground holding onto the reins of his horse. His vision blurred and he had not eaten anything. Once his men had arrived at the clearing, he sent Hunith back with Leon. Gwaine and Percival were fanned out on either side of him. They had been searching in the darkness all night using torches carried by his soldiers to light the way . The magical fog lingered, and Kilgharrah flew overhead searching the countryside, but even he was exhausted, so Arthur sent him away . The dragon had reluctantly left, clearly worried about Gavin. It was so strange to think about a magical creature being such an important part of their lives now . His father would definitely have something to say about that. “Arthur, ” Gwaine said handing him a waterskin and a hunk of dried meat, “Y ou look like you are going to drop any minute. Y ou need to rest and eat, drink some water .” “Cannot rest until I find my son, ” Arthur shook his head. “Gwaine’ s right, ” Percival said as he approached, “Y ou’re not going to be able to fight if you can’t even stand up.” “He’ s alone and cold…surrounded by strangers, ” Arthur said then forced himself to take a drink of water and a bite of the meat, “I can’ t stop.” He handed the waterskin back to Gwaine and started walking forward again. Gwaine and Percival looked at each other both feeling helpless. Their king…their friend was hurting and lost. He would push himself to his limits to get Gavin back. And what if the worst happened? Arthur had already lost Merlin and Gwen…to lose Gavin would kill him. Arthur crouched down looking at a track in the torchlight. The men who took Gavin had split into three groups and they had no idea which of the three had him. For all he knew they could be following the wrong tracks and Gavin could be miles in the opposite direction. “Gavin, ” Arthur choked, dropping to his knees, and lowered his head. “What is that?” Gwaine asked and Arthur looked up turning to see where he was looking. The fog seemed to be alive, swirling and dancing through the trees like spirits, ghosts of the dead, silent and eerie. A bluish-white glow illuminated the trees, pushing back the fog. Arthur ’s heart stuttered, that light… He got to his feet as a hooded figure emer ged from the woods, wrapped in a heavy gray cloak. Percival and Gwaine drew their swords, but Arthur waved a hand. “Stand down, ” the king said as he walked toward the figure. “My Lord, ” Percival said. “They mean us no harm.” “How can you be so sure?” Gwaine asked. “Call it a funny feeling, ” Arthur said then sheathed his own sword. He watched as the figure stopped walking. He drew back his cloak revealing a sleepy but very much alive Gavin. “Oh, my God, Gavin!” The figure put Gavin down on the ground as Arthur dropped to his knees. “Father!” Gavin yelled and ran toward him. “Thank the Gods, ” Arthur dropped to his knees gathering him into his embrace holding him kissing his cheek and forehead, stroking his hair checking him over for injuries. “My boy, ” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Don’ t cry, father, ” Gavin said, hugging his neck. “I’m so sorry, ” Arthur said holding him tightly . He looked up at the hooded figure who was still standing a few yards away . “Thank you, whoever you are…for bringing my boy back. How will I ever repay you? Y ou shall receive a reward, anything you want…name it…land, gold, anything.” “I’d settle for my old job back, ” the figure said then slowly lowered his hood. “Holy…” Gwaine said, his mouth dropping open in shock. Arthur stared at the man before him, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Merlin?” Merlin gave him a wide grin, “Hello, Arthur…” “Merlin…you’re alive!” Arthur scrambled to his feet bringing Gavin with him. “My God, you’re back! How?” he asked shaking his head as he closed the distance between them. “I’m not exactly sure, but it was Gavin. His magic…I do not know how, but it is part of my own. It…he called to me, brought me back and I was able to find him. The men who took him are all dead except Alvarr . I let him live, but without his magic. Personal experience taught me that is a fate worse than death.” Arthur shook his head, “As glad as I am to hear that, right now I just want to look at you.” Merlin chuckled, “Are you saying you’re glad to see me?” “Gods, yes, ” Arthur grinned, “W elcome home, Merlin.” He put his arm around Merlin’ s neck and kissed his temple as they walked back toward Gwaine and Percival who were grinning from ear to ear . “Boys, we have Gavin, and we have Merlin back.” “Merlin!” Gwaine said and he stepped forward embracing him tightly, cupping the back of his head, “It is so damn good to see you, my friend.” “You too, Gwaine, ” Merlin grinned then turned to Percival who wrapped him in a bear hug that made it dif ficult to breathe. “Merlin, we missed you, ” he said as he drew back finally releasing him. “It is good to have you back, brother .” “It’s good to be back.” Arthur looked at Gavin smiling and kissed his cheek. “Set up camp for the night, ” he told the men and they hurried to do as he ordered. Merlin reached out to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “He looks like you, ” he grinned. “I know, poor child, ” Arthur smirked. “Are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am now, thanks to you. I will never be able to repay all you have done for me, Merlin.” “Then it’ s a good thing you don’ t have to.” “I’m hungry, ” Gavin said tucking his face into Arthur ’s neck. “Then let’ s get you something to eat.” Arthur tucked Gavin into his bedroll wrapping him up warmly and kissing the top of his head. Merlin sat by the fire watching with a crooked grin. “What?” Arthur asked. “Nothing, just you’re pretty good at that.” Arthur sat down next to Merlin, “Y es, well, considering who my father was it is a miracle.” “You were always better than your father, ” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him intently and shook his head, “I can’ t believe you’re here.” “Neither can I. One minute I was in A valon the next I was back…naked on the shore and completely disoriented and weak. I don’ t know how I am even me…my body .” “How do you feel now?” Arthur asked. Merlin smiled, “Happy .” “What was it like…A valon?” “Beautiful, peaceful, surreal…lonely…” Merlin frowned. “You were all alone?” “I chose to be, ” he said. “Why would you?” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin…” “I guess I just felt like I didn’ t belong in the next world any more than I belonged in this one.” “Merlin, that’ s not true…” Merlin looked into Arthur ’s eyes and smiled, “It really is. Y ou saw the truth in the Crystal Cave. Y ou know what I have done…the people I hurt and killed. I am sorry for lying to you all those years. I wanted to tell you so much. Y ou were the one person I wanted to see me for who I truly was and to accept me fully .” “I see you now, and I do accept you. Gods, Merlin, I am so damn happy to have you back, ” Arthur smiled. “And you brought my son back to me.” “Did you really kiss me?” Merlin asked with a raised eyebrow, “Percival told me that after I died you kissed me.” Arthur blushed and nodded, “I did.” “Sorry I missed it, ” Merlin huf fed a laugh. “Really?” “Only time I ever got a real hug from you was when I was under Mor gana’ s control and cannot even remember it. Then you wait until I am dead to kiss me, ” he grinned. “I never knew you wanted…” “Yes, well, you were always a bit thick, ” Merlin chuckled. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “It’s all right, I always knew you loved Gwen, and she loved you. All that mattered to me was that you were happy and safe and that you would be the king that Camelot needed.” “Yes, but you needed me too and I wasn’ t there for you.” Merlin shook his head slowly, “It doesn’ t matter now .” “It really does, ” Arthur said, “Everything you did for me…it was not out of duty or for some prophecy, it was out of love. Y ou sacrificed yourself for me.” “And I would do it all over again.” “I know you would and before you go and do something so foolish again, I want you to know that I love you…I love you, Merlin.” Merlin’ s head shot up as he met Arthur ’s gaze. His lips parted wordlessly, and Arthur laughed. “Speechless, are you?” he asked. “Arthur…” “I should have told you before, but I was an idiot and scared. I meant what I said in the Crystal Cave. Y ou are the other half of my soul; you always were, and you always will be.” Merlin smiled, “T wo sides of the same coin…” Arthur reached up placing his hand on Merlin’ s face, his thumb brushing lightly over his cheekbone. “It’s time I do this properly, ” he said then leaned forward pressing his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender searching kiss. Merlin kissed him back a tear slipping from his eye. Arthur drew back brushing it away with his thumb. “Are you okay?” he asked, and Merlin nodded. “Just never thought…” he said with a hitch in his voice as he averted his gaze looking over at the others around another fire. “Arthur, I don’ t know if this is permanent…if I can even stay.” Arthur nodded, “Then I do not want to waste a single moment with you. Merlin, I want you to return with us to Camelot. Y ou can do or have anything you want. Y ou can take over as physician. Y our mother has been doing both Gaius’ job and taking care of Gavin. I would have been lost without her these last three years.” “Gaius, ” Merlin said softly his eyes filled with sadness. “You did know…” “Yeah, I saw him when he passed over into A valon. He tried to talk me into going through with him, but I stayed where I was.” “Losing you, Gwen, and Gaius…it was a rough few years. And Geof frey too.” “Geof frey died?” Merlin asked. “Yes, shortly after Gaius. I still have not replaced him either .” “Arthur, I want to stay with you and Gavin, ” Merlin said, “As long as I am able.” “You said Gavin’ s magic is like yours?” “It is.” “Makes sense, ” Arthur nodded, “Gwen was already pregnant when you did what you did to destroy Mor gana. Y our magic was released. It healed me and Kilgharrah and brought Gwaine back from the dead. It is possible that it somehow reached Gwen and our unborn child.” “I did not know it would do that. I just knew that the spell was my only chance of saving you.” “You said Mor gana was with you?” “She was, she passed over into A valon as well. It took her a long time to come to terms with everything that happened. She was certain that she belonged in hell, but I told her that it was not her fault, that it was Mor gause. W e forgave each other and she moved on…she is with Mordred now .” Arthur nodded, “Mordred, he didn’ t deserve his fate either .” Merlin lowered his head, “If I had followed my heart and helped him and Mor gana…” “Merlin, enough now, what’ s done is done. I do not want to waste any more time dwelling on the past. I have my son, I have you and I am high king over all of Albion. All five kingdoms united under one rule, peace and prosperity, and freedom. None of it would be possible without you.” “All I did was keep your arse alive, ” Merlin grinned. “You really want your old job back?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Yes, unless you already have a servant of course.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I haven’ t had a servant since you died. Other than the basic duties. Y ou always said I needed to learn to do things for myself. So, I did.” “Amazing, ” Merlin laughed, “Y ou dress yourself and everything?” “I even do my own laundry .” “Oh, now I know you are lying, ” Merlin chuckled. “Ok, I send my laundry out to be done, ” Arthur shrugged, “But I get myself up in the morning. Of course, my speeches are not as good as the ones you wrote for me.” “If you no longer have need of a manservant perhaps, I could take over Gaius and Geof frey’ s jobs and begin to rebuild the collection of magic books now that you have lifted the ban.” “That would be good, ” Arthur nodded, “Perhaps you could write your own books to hopefully begin to undo the damage my father did. So, people will understand that magic is not evil.” Merlin looked at his king with tears in his eyes, “I used to dream of the day that you would see the good in magic…to be free to use the gifts I was born with.” “You are free now, Merlin. I will give you anything you want, just ask.” “Right now, I think you should get some sleep, ” Merlin smiled, “Y ou’re exhausted.” “I am, I guess I’m just afraid I’ll fall asleep and wake up and you will be gone.” “Sleep, Arthur, I promise I will be here when you wake.” “You should rest too.” “I have been resting for more than three years. I am enjoying the feeling of being alive again. I think I will go join the others for some food.” “You’ll come back, ” Arthur said. “I will, ” Merlin smiled and then started to get to his feet, but Arthur took hold of his wrist. “Merlin…I just want to do things right this time. I don’ t want to deny my feelings anymore. But I will not do anything unless it is what you want too. The last thing I want to do is hurt you again.” “Arthur, I want to be with you. It is all I have ever wanted.” Arthur drew him close and kissed Merlin again, “Good because now that I’ve kissed you…I don’t think I can stop.” “Mmm, I wholeheartedly consent, ” Merlin grinned then kissed him back. “Now get some sleep, Sire. Physician’ s orders.” Arthur laughed and then laid down on his bedroll next to Gavin. Merlin waved a hand and covered him with a blanket. His eyes flashed and the fire grew warmer . He then got up and walked over to where Gwaine and Percival were sitting around the fire pretending they had not been watching them the entire time. “May I join you?” Merlin asked and Gwaine grinned. “Merlin, damn it is good to see you, ” he said pulling him down to sit on the log next to him, “Are you all right?” “I’m good I think, ” Merlin nodded, “Still trying to get my bearings. Nothing like having your soul yanked out of A valon and slammed back into a somehow reformed body to leave you feeling a bit disoriented and overwhelmed.” “I cannot even imagine…” Percival said shaking his head. “Is there any food left?” Merlin asked. “Lots…here you go, ” Gwaine said and handed Merlin a plate of stew and some bread, “It is not as good as yours. I missed your cooking.” “How’ s Arthur?” Percival asked. “Exhausted, but relieved to have his son, ” Merlin said. “How on earth did you find him?” Gwaine asked. “He called to me, his magic…Arthur thinks that what I did, my magic being released somehow it found its way to Gavin while Gwen was pregnant.” “That’ s possible, ” Gwaine nodded, “It brought me back from the dead. Who knows what else it did? Thank you, by the way .” “You’re welcome, ” Merlin grinned. “You and Arthur…” Percival said raising an eyebrow . “We’ll see…I am not even sure that this is permanent.” “Avalon is not getting you back without a fight, ” Gwaine said his voice rough, “Not losing you again. Even if I have to of fer myself up to appease the Goddess.” “I’ll never let you do that for me. Gwaine, you should know, I met your father, ” Merlin smiled, “He said he is very proud of you.” “My father?” Gwaine asked, tears filling his eyes, “He knows…” Merlin nodded, “I told him all about you. I used my magic to let him see you.” “Thank you, Merlin, that means a lot.” “Apparently, he and my father knew each other when they were young boys.” “Really?” Gwaine asked, “Guess that explains why you and I got on so well from the moment we met. I felt a connection to you.” “Being in A valon many things became so clear, ” Merlin said. “What do you mean?” Percival asked. Merlin glanced over at Arthur, “I met Arthur ’s mother .” “What was she like?” Gwaine asked. “Beautiful, sweet, loving, she had me tell her everything about Arthur and she told me the truth about Uther and what he did. She was happy and relieved to know that he was safe and happy .” “Did you tell Arthur?” Percival asked. “Not yet, ” Merlin shook his head, “I will though. He is exhausted, I want him to rest. I am going to take over Gaius’ position as physician and Geof frey’ s position as librarian.” “Arthur never even bothered to replace you, ” Gwaine said, “No one measured up. Though I think it had more to do with grief and loneliness than anything else. He really struggled after losing you, Merlin. It changed him. Then he lost Gwen and if it had not been for Gavin…” “I did not think my death would af fect him like that. What is the life of a servant compared to that of a king? W e were friends but I thought he would be all right in time.” Percival and Gwaine looked at each other knowingly . “Merlin, anyone who spent any time at all around you and Arthur knew that there was some deeper bond. Y ou were far more to him than a servant or even friend, ” Percival said. “Arthur told me things after your death, ” Gwaine said, “Things I will not repeat because it is not my place to do so. Merlin, you have this second chance you need to talk to him…really talk. Get him to tell you himself. And by the Gods, do not let anything or anyone come between you again.” “Yes, ” Merlin nodded, “I just wish I knew what all of this means. If I am back permanently or if I was released from A valon just to help Gavin.” “There is someone who might be able to tell you, ” Gwaine said then looked up to the sky . “If my Dragonlord gift still works. When my father died it passed to me. When I died, I had no son for it to go to.” “Only one way to find out, ” Percival smiled. “If not, then Arthur can call him, ” Gwaine said. “Arthur?” Merlin asked eyebrows lifting. “Through his sword, he can call Kilgharrah, ” Percival nodded. “Yeah, he and old Killy have a bond and Gavin just loves the giant lizard. Kilgharrah helped in the search until he was ready to drop from the sky . Arthur sent him away to rest. The dragon missed you too, Merlin, ” Gwaine said. “I will call him in the morning, before we leave for Camelot, ” Merlin said, “I should also check on Aithusa. God knows where she is now, what happened to her after Camlann.” “Aithusa?” Percival asked. “The white dragon…the egg I rescued from the T omb of Ashkanar and hatched, ” Merlin grinned. “So that’ s where Mor gana got the dragon, ” the lar ger man said. “Yes, I was so focused on protecting Arthur that I abandoned her and Mor gana…” Merlin said, his voice trailing of f and he let out a rough breath. “I made so many mistakes.” “And you did so much good as well, Merlin. Always remember that, ” Gwaine embraced him then drew back, patting his cheek. “This is a new beginning, my friend. Let go of the past and live now or you will miss out on so much. When you brought me back from the dead, I was so damn grateful for a fresh start. A chance to do better, and I think I have.” Percival nodded then chuckled, “Still drinks too much though.” “That doesn’ t surprise me, ” Merlin laughed. “We can’ t all be perfect, ” Gwaine laughed heartily then he looked into Merlin’ s eyes, his mirth fading, “It is really good to have you back, Merlin. How do you feel…I mean do you feel like you?” Merlin shook his head, “It is hard to explain. I mean, this body is mine, but all the scars are gone. Is it strange that I miss them?” “Not strange at all, ” Percival said, “Y ou earned every one of them. They told your story .” “I don’ t even know if I am still immortal. My magic is more powerful.” “Well, I think it is safe to say you are still human, ” Gwaine said, “Y ou can still be hurt, Merlin. So, maybe this time, you will be a little more careful and not take so many risks.” Merlin smiled, “Let’ s hope I won’ t have reason to this time around.” “What do you think Arthur will do to Alined…his son?” Percival asked. “Unless we can find absolute proof that they were involved in Gavin’ s kidnapping there is little he can do. He cannot accuse them without it, or we will have a war on our hands, ” Gwaine said. “I let Alvarr go, he might have provided proof, ” Merlin frowned. “Not likely, ” Percival shook his head, “The traitor Magne, he is our only link and he’ s dead.” “There has to be someone else, someone who knew Arthur planned to visit Kilgharrah and that Gavin would be with him, ” Gwaine said. “Then we need to find out who it was, ” Merlin said. “Tomorrow…right now, we need sleep, ” Percival smiled then reached out to squeeze Merlin’ s shoulder . “W elcome home, Merlin.” He got up and moved over to his bedroll flopped down on it and let out a sigh closing his eyes. “You should sleep too, Gwaine, ” Merlin said. “Aren’ t you tired? “A little, I guess.” “Are you sure you’re okay?” “Yeah, it’ s just a lot…” “Here’ s a bedroll for you, go get some rest. W e have a long ride back to Camelot tomorrow and you are going to cause quite a stir when we get there.” “The people probably won’ t even remember me, ” Merlin said accepting the spare bedroll. “Wait and see, ” Gwaine winked then laid down on his own bedroll, “Good night, Merlin.” “Good night, Gwaine, ” Merlin hesitated for a moment then got up walking back over to where Arthur and Gavin were sleeping. He laid out his bedroll then sat down by the fire and added more wood. He glanced over at Arthur and smiled as he saw Gavin curled up in his father ’s arms, both sleeping soundly . With a whispered word he adjusted the blanket over them, and Arthur stirred, his eyes fluttering open. “Gavin, ” he whispered reassuring himself that his son was still there. He then looked at Merlin with a smile, “Merlin…” “Go back to sleep, Arthur . I am not going anywhere, ” Merlin grinned. “Sorry, I didn’ t mean to wake you.” “Are you all right?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Y ou all keep asking me that. I’m good…really .” “Come here, Merlin, ” Arthur said rolling onto his back, holding his hand out. “Arthur?” “Come here, please, ” Arthur reached over and pulled Merlin’ s bedroll closer, “Lay down.” “Yes, Y our Majesty, ” Merlin grinned and sat down taking of f his boots and cloak then Arthur tugged his sleeve sliding an arm around his shoulder and drawing him close, covering him with part of the blanket. “Just let me hold you, ” Arthur said softly . Merlin did not ar gue he let out a breath and shifted onto his side resting his head on Arthur ’s shoulder . He smiled and Arthur ran his fingers through his hair . “There, much better .” “You sure this is a good idea, ” Merlin grinned. “Yes, Merlin. Now go to sleep.” Merlin closed his eyes, listening to the beating of Arthur ’s heart. He felt the warmth of his breath and wondered for a moment if they could really be like this from now on. Could they really be together the way he always wanted, but never thought possible? “You’re thinking, Merlin, ” Arthur said sleepily . “Sorry…” “Everything will be all right.” “If you say so, Sire.” “I do and I’m the king, so I am always right.” Merlin lifted his head to look into Arthur ’s eyes. “Are you ever going to change?” “No, you’d get bored, ” Arthur grinned drawing Merlin’ s head back down, “Sleep.” Homecoming Arthur woke up to Gavin patting his cheek. “Father, wake up.” “I’m awake, ” Arthur said looking around his heart jumped as he realized Merlin was not there. His boots and cloak were gone. W as he gone? “Merlin!” “Merlin is going to call Killy, ” Gavin smiled. Arthur sat up, slipped on his boots, grabbed his jacket, and got to his feet. He scooped up Gavin and carried him through their camp. Merlin was standing in a clearing with his cloak on, the hood down. His dark hair sticking up. “Merlin?” Arthur asked. Merlin turned to look at him, eyes shining with tears, and shook his head, “What if it doesn’ t work? What if I have lost that part of me…the only thing I had of my father?” “You won’ t know until you try, Merlin, ” Arthur shook his head shifting Gavin’ s weight onto his hip. “Go ahead.” Merlin nodded wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his cloak and took a deep breath. “Here goes, ” he said, then tilting his head back he focused and let out a roar followed by the ancient words he knew so well. His magic sur ged carrying the call higher and further over the land. “It worked…at least I think it did, ” he turned to look at Arthur who was staring at him in awe. “Merlin, that was incredible, ” the king said. “Can I do that?” Gavin asked with a giggle. “Afraid not, little one, ” Merlin grinned. It was several minutes before they heard the familiar sound of leathery wings in the air . Kilgharrah circled and then landed with a thud, bowing his head to Merlin. “Young W arlock, you have returned, ” the dragon said his eyes bright. “Hello, old friend, ” Merlin said, “I was not sure you would hear me. If I had lost my Dragonlord gift when I died.” “Your Dragonlord power is yours, Merlin, a part of your soul, ” Kilgharrah said with a toothy smile, “I missed you.” “I missed you too, ” Merlin said, “I need to know if this is permanent. W ill I live now, or must I return to A valon?” “You will live, Merlin, you are once again needed in this world. Not only to protect Arthur but to help Gavin learn to use and control his magic.” “His magic…did it come from Merlin, because of what he did that day?” “Yes, King Arthur, ” the dragon said, “When Merlin’ s magic was released, it absorbed and transformed Mor gana’ s eclipsing her darkness, purifying her in a way, as she died. It healed you and I and as you know brought Sir Gwaine back from the dead. Gavin is a special child, for not only is he the son of the Once and Future King, who himself was born of magic, but he is the balance. For when Merlin died the world needed him to be that balance. T o keep magic alive in the world until such time that Merlin would return to guide him.” “Is that what happened during the Great Pur ge?” Arthur asked. “Yes, it resulted in rampant magic with no balance. That balance was Merlin. Born into the world to both contain and sustain the magic. He was born with magic as you were born of magic, two sides of the same coin.” “Balance, ” Merlin said looking at Arthur intently . Kilgharrah nodded, “Y ou may have defied the prophecies, Y oung W arlock, but prophecy always finds a way in the end. Y ou altered the path, and they merely found a new route to the same destination.” Arthur smiled, “Then Merlin can stay…he’ s home for good?” “He is, ” Kilgharrah nodded. “And my immortality?” Merlin asked. “That part of the prophecy no longer exists because Arthur did not die, and you have returned. So, that I cannot answer .” “Who can?” Arthur asked. “Perhaps you can summon the Goddess herself for answers, ” Kilgharrah said. “Maybe one day, right now I am just glad to be alive and back with the people I love.” “Killy, ” Gavin giggled, and Arthur placed him on the ground. Kilgharrah chuckled and lowered his head. “I am so relieved to see you are safe, little prince.” “Thank you for all you did, Kilgharrah, ” Arthur said, “I owe you a great debt.” “It is I who owed you a debt for the crimes I committed against Camelot long ago. I was blinded by rage and sought revenge against your father . I should never have attacked the innocent.” Arthur nodded, “Y ou helped the kingdom as well, Kilgharrah. And I cannot honestly say that, if I had been kept prisoner in that cavern for twenty years, I would not have done the same.” “Kilgharrah, do you know where Aithusa is? Is she alive?” Merlin asked. “She is alive, your magic healed her as well. She is no longer deformed and crippled and lives in the White Mountains.” “Does—does she hate me?” “No, Y oung W arlock, she could never hate you. Y ou brought her into the world…called her from her egg. Y ou are her Dragonlord.” “And I abandoned her, ” Merlin said his voice edged with regret and sadness. “Aithusa understands. I am certain if you call for her, she will come to you.” “Perhaps I will go to her one day, ” Merlin smiled. “I am certain she would be pleased to see you. For now, you need to focus on settling back into your life here in Camelot. Much has changed since you died. Y ou are needed.” “Thank you, Kilgharrah for everything, ” Arthur nodded. “You are most welcome, Great King, ” the dragon bowed, “I must go now . It is so good to have you back Merlin. Enjoy this life.” “I will, ” Merlin smiled, and they watched as he launched into the air and circled overhead a few times before flying away . Then he turned to Arthur and laughed, “I think that is the first time I ever heard him give a straight answer . All I ever got before were riddles.” Arthur nodded, “W e spoke a lot after you died. He told me how much he regretted some of the decisions he made. That he should have told you everything from the beginning.” “I’m not certain it would have made a dif ference, ” Merlin shook his head. “Are you ready to go home?” Arthur asked?” “Gods, yes, ” Merlin grinned. “Pack up, men, let’ s get back to Camelot, ” Arthur ordered. They rode into the square a few hours later and Merlin’ s eyes lit up as he saw his home for the first time in over three years. Arthur smiled as he watched him take it all in. The city and the lower town had expanded a great deal in the time he was gone. Much lar ger and nicer houses had replaced tiny hovels and huts. Gwen’ s house had been expanded and fixed up for Hunith because she felt more comfortable there than in the palace. Though she did have a room in Gavin’ s chambers. The people came out of their houses to greet their king and the young prince as they returned. They had all been devastated to hear that Gavin had been taken, they were relieved, and overjoyed to have him back home. But it was Merlin who created the most jubilation. Arthur grinned as the people began to notice him and started calling out his name. Merlin! Merlin has r eturned! Merlin! He is back! Merlin is home! “I don’ t understand…I didn’ t expect…” Merlin shook his head and looked at Arthur . “I promised to honor you and your sacrifices for me and for Camelot.” “You did, ” Merlin’ s eyes narrowed, and his eyebrows raised, “What did you do?” “Well, it started with the celebration outside the walls after you died, people came from all around including royalty . Annis and Mithian and so many others who wanted to remember you and to honor your sacrifice and to say their goodbyes to a young man they had always known was special. I got to hear endless stories of people you had helped…people you had saved. It turned into a yearly celebration growing lar ger every time. Druids came here to tell the stories of the great Emrys, ” Arthur smiled, “Y ou believed people would have for gotten about you, but Merlin, you touched far too many lives for that to happen. Y our people love you.” “My people, ” Merlin said softly, shaking his head. “Your people, Merlin. They have held out hope for your return and now here you are, ” Arthur grinned. “But I don’ t deserve…” “Yes, you do.” Riding up to the steps they dismounted. Merlin was immediately swarmed by people. Hunith came down the steps with Leon and they both froze seeing who was at the center of the commotion. “Merlin!” Hunith cried out and ran down the steps the crowd parted to let her through, “My God, Merlin! Y ou’re home!” she choked back tears as she threw her arms around his neck holding him so tight. Merlin had tears in his eyes rocking her gently . “Mother, ” he said, his voice breaking. “My beautiful boy, ” Hunith gasped cupping his cheek, “Y ou’re really here.” “I am, mother, I love you, ” Merlin grinned then hugged her tighter . Arthur climbed the steps with Gavin in his arms and looked around at all the people. He smiled and called out over the crowd, “Please, give Merlin some time to adjust and to spend with his mother . I promise in the coming days we will have a celebration. Spread the word and join us in welcoming home Camelot’ s most beloved servant, friend, and warlock…as it was he who rescued Prince Gavin and returned him to me.” The people cheered and chanted Merlin’ s name as they patted his back and shoulder and slowly moved away leaving him standing with his mother his eyes wide and his mouth open in stunned silence uncertain what to say . “Merlin, ” Arthur said then motioned for him and Hunith to follow . Leon met Merlin halfway up the steps, “Merlin…” “Sir Leon, ” Merlin smiled. “It’s really you, ” the knight said shaking his head then with a wide grin he embraced Merlin cupping the back of his head. “Thank the Gods, you were missed around here, brother .” “I wasn’ t expecting this reception, ” Merlin chuckled, and Leon smiled. “Best prepare yourself then because there is more to come.” “He’ s right, Merlin, ” Hunith beamed. “I guess I’m just not used to everyone knowing who I really am…what I’ve done.” Gwaine and Percival came up the steps behind them. Gwaine put an arm around Merlin, “And you said people wouldn’ t remember you.” “Come along, ” Hunith said taking Gavin from Arthur, “Let’ s get you boys fed and this little one needs a bath and sleep.” “Thank you, Hunith, ” Arthur said then kissed Gavin’ s head. “I need to go with Arthur first, ” Merlin said. “Very well, it is so good to have you back.” “I love you, mother .” Arthur headed up the steps and Merlin followed him. He glanced back at Merlin and grinned. “What?” Merlin asked. “Nothing, just so damn happy, ” Arthur said then he grabbed the sleeve of Merlin’ s cloak and pulled him into the empty council chambers, and shut the door . “I know it is a lot and you are feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Merlin, I want…” Merlin silenced him with a deep kiss, his hands tugging Arthur closer . “Overwhelm me, please, ” he said huskily, and Arthur deepened the kiss. “Gods, Merlin, ” Arthur whispered against his lips. “You really want me, ” Merlin said. “Yes…” Arthur moaned kissing him deeper and harder his hand sliding around to the back of Merlin’ s neck holding him there as he backed him up against the door . “Always, Merlin…” “Ah, Arthur, ” Merlin gasped tipping his head back and Arthur chuckled. “Sorry, I got a bit carried away .” “No, I started it, ” he grinned. Arthur looked into his eyes, “Merlin, did you ever…were you ever with anyone?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “When did I have time? Besides, there was always only you, and if I couldn’ t have you then I didn’ t want anyone. I loved Freya, but that was doomed from the start.” “I’m so sorry, ” Arthur said pressing his forehead to Merlin’ s. Merlin smiled, “Don’ t be.” “I am going to do everything in my power to make it up to you, Merlin. I promise you.” “I understand if you don’ t want to be together in public.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, I want everyone to know what you mean to me. What you have always meant to me. I wish I had known how you felt about me.” “It wouldn’ t have mattered, ” Merlin said. “I do know one thing, ” Arthur said, “If I had known how you felt about me, I am not sure I could have resisted. I was always so afraid…scared that if I had approached you, you would give yourself to me out of duty only and nothing more. I could not bear to use you in such a way.” “Arthur, I am yours, I have always been yours, ” Merlin grinned kissing him tenderly . “And I am yours, Merlin.” A knock on the door startled them and they laughed. Merlin stepped aside and Arthur opened the door and the room filled with the people of the court ready for their king to inform them of the events of the past couple of days. Arthur moved to the front of the room and told everyone what happened. “We should retaliate against King Alined, ” one of the lords spoke up. “I have reason to believe that it was not King Alined, but his son, Prince Amren who orchestrated the kidnapping. He is bitter and angry that I now have dominion over the kingdom he is due to inherit once Alined is gone, ” Arthur said. “As he sees it, his father signed away his birthright to me. In taking Gavin, I believe he wanted to force my hand and start a war . I will not give him the war he wants. I will send a messenger to Deorham to inform the king what his son has done and let him decide what shall be done. My son is safe thanks to Merlin, ” Arthur smiled meeting Merlin’ s gaze then motioned for him to join him. Merlin held his head high as he moved to stand next to his king causing gasps and muttering from the court. “As you can see, Merlin has returned. He rescued Gavin and returned him to me. Y et again proving his love and loyalty to Camelot. There will be many changes in the upcoming days. You should all be aware that my relationship with Merlin has also changed. I love him deeply and he loves me.” The gasps of surprise and some of disgust came from the court and Arthur looked at them intently . “If any of you have a problem with that, I will be more than happy to relieve you of your position in this court.” “Your majesty, you married a servant, but this…Merlin is…” a man spoke up his voice trembling. “Merlin is what?” Arthur asked his eyes narrowing. “Merlin’ s a sorcerer and, Sire, he’ s a man…” “Thank you for pointing that out, Lord Bishop, I was not aware, ” Arthur glared at him, and the others smiled awkwardly . Merlin had to stifle a laugh. “Merlin is also the other half of my soul. He has given everything for me and Camelot. From now on you will show him the same respect as you show me. I am your king. Do not for get that and do not question me again. I have hidden my feelings for Merlin out of duty for far too long. I love him and we are going to be together .” “Yes, My Lord, ” Lord Bishop bowed, “I apologize, please for give me.” “Good, ” Arthur grinned, “If that is all you are dismissed.” After they all left Merlin turned to Arthur and lost it. He laughed so hard, and Arthur joined in. “The look on his face, ” Merlin chuckled nearly doubling over in laughter, “Like he was sucking on a pickled egg.” Arthur pulled Merlin close and kissed him, “It is good to hear you laugh like that again. I missed it. I missed seeing your smile.” “But Y our Majesty, I am a man, ” Merlin deadpanned then busted up laughing again. “A very beautiful and intoxicating man, ” Arthur said cupping his cheek. “Can I ask you something?” “Yes…anything.” “I cannot help but feel like us being together is disrespectful to Gwen. I feel like I am betraying her . Are you sure?” “Merlin, Guinevere knew…I told her . After you died, I told her what you meant to me. She already knew . I think she would be happy for us. I think she would want us to be together .” “You told her, and she wasn’ t upset?” “Not at all. She understood because a part of her would always love Lancelot the way part of me would always love you. She loved you too, Merlin.” Merlin nodded, tears in his eyes, “I am glad…I would never want. And Gavin…” “Gavin loved you even before he met you. I told him everything about you and our adventures together .” Merlin smiled, “Y ou did.” “Yes, I am required to tell him one of our stories before bed every night before he goes to sleep.” “Maybe I could tell him a story sometime.” “I guarantee he will be demanding just that.” “Can we really do this? Be together…be a family?” “Is that what you want?” Arthur asked softly and Merlin nodded. “More than anything.” “Then that is what you shall have.” “Um, I should see about sorting out the physician’ s chambers and my old room. And if you still want me to take over Geof frey’ s duties as well…the library probably needs cleaning and organizing. Then there is the secret room…” “Secret room?” Arthur asked raising an eyebrow . “Yeah, the room where I found and released the Goblin.” “Ah yes, I remember that all too well.” “There are magic books in there that need to be collected and cataloged.” Arthur smiled and placed a hand on Merlin’ s neck, “There is plenty of time for that. Y ou need to take a few days and settle in. As for your old room, you will not be needing it if you move into my chambers with me.” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want me to move into your chambers?” “When you are ready, yes, ” Arthur blushed, “I mean if you want to. I don’ t want to push.” “Arthur, I want to, believe me, but for the sake of the kingdom perhaps we should ease them into this…what we are now . Some will not like that we are together .” “I guess you’re right, ” Arthur said, “I should probably find a way to explain things to Gavin too before we go that far .” Merlin leaned in and kissed Arthur, “We need to tell my mother too.” “I didn’ t think about that, ” Arthur shook his head, “Do you think she will object?” “I really don’ t know . I mean, I think she always knew that I had feelings for you, so that will not come as a surprise. But us actually acting on those feelings might.” “Merlin, as long as you know without a doubt that this is real and that I love you. No matter what anyone thinks about it, I do not care. I am tired of burying my feelings and denying myself the one person I need more than anyone.” “I will never doubt that…not now…not ever, Arthur .” Arthur kissed him deeply then nodded, “Y ou should go to your mother .” “I will find you later, ” Merlin smiled. “I should talk to my men, ” Arthur nodded. “I’m sure Gwaine and Percival have already told them, ” Merlin chuckled, “And I am fairly certain the castle gossip mill is in full swing.” “Yes, I used to hear things. People thought you and I were…that I was taking advantage of you back then. They assumed that just because I was not bedding every woman in the kingdom …” “I know, I heard the stories too, ” Merlin chuckled, and Arthur looked at him. “Why didn’ t you ever say anything? I would have put a stop to it had I known. If my father had ever gotten wind of the rumors, he would have removed you from my service or worse. I thought my keeping quiet about it would make them stop.” Merlin smiled, “T o be honest, I did not mind. I never set them straight. I just let them think what they wanted to think and a part of me liked having them think that because people left me alone and I guess because I wanted it to be true. When I used to get you ready for bed at night, I used to wish you would ask me to stay . To take care of those needs for you.” Arthur nodded, “And I used to fight the ur ge to ask you to. W e were both stupid. W e could have been together back then.” “But then would you have married Gwen?” Merlin asked, “Y ou wouldn’ t have Gavin.” “I do not know what I would have done. Which is why I don’ t want to waste any more time, Merlin. As soon as you are ready and we tell everyone, I want you to move into my chambers and become my consort.” Merlin’ s eye widened, “That is quite of ficial.” “Yes, it is, and I want to make sure that you are protected in every way . No one will ever again treat you as less than you are, Merlin. I swear to you.” “I don’ t need anything of ficial, just to be with you.” “Yes, I know, but if anything should happen to me before Gavin is old enough. I want you to be protected and cared for . You will rule by my side in whatever capacity you wish, but I need to know that you are safe. Y ou have been through so much and lost so much because of me. And while I know I can never undo the damage or repay that debt; this is one way that I can at least begin to make amends.” “Arthur, you don’ t owe me anything, ” Merlin said, tears in his eyes. “But I do, Merlin…and I am going to make sure you are loved and happy . “All right, ” Merlin nodded then looked toward the door, “I should go now .” “Go, ” Arthur kissed him and then watched as he left the room a soft smile on his face. “There you are, my boy, ” Hunith said as Merlin came through the door of the physician’ s chambers his eyes taking in the room. “I kept it as Gaius had it just in case you returned and wanted to take over .” “I missed this place so much, ” Merlin smiled, his eyes brimming with tears, “I left Gaius.” “Merlin, Gaius loved you, ” Hunith said, “Losing you broke his heart, but he understood. He missed you so much, but he told me that it did not surprise him that you chose to sacrifice yourself for Arthur . That it was your destiny, no matter the cost, to make sure Arthur lived.” “He’ s my friend, I could not let him die. He had to live.” “Merlin, I am your mother . I know you are in love with Arthur, you have been since the beginning. And seeing you two together this morning…I am not blind. Arthur loves you too.” Merlin smiled, “W e are um…” “I know and I am pleased, ” Hunith laughed and embraced him, “Now sit down and eat. T ell your old mum everything. Starting with that father of yours. I am sorry I kept the truth from you about Balinor, Merlin…I just thought it would be safer for you. W e loved each other deeply and it hurt him so much to leave me.” “I know, ” Merlin nodded. “How is he? I mean other than the obvious.” “He is at peace, he helped me so much. I am so proud of him. Honored to be his son.” “And I am certain he is as proud of you as I am.” “Mother, are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am just happy to have my son back.” “I am glad you stayed in Camelot.” Hunith nodded, “I could not leave Arthur with a baby boy to raise. Losing Gwen was devastating for him.” Merlin rested his arms on the table as his mother placed a plate in front of him. “His own mother died giving birth to him…history repeating itself. I wish I had been able to save them both.” “What do you mean?” Hunith asked her brow creasing. “I sensed Arthur ’s despair and fear . I begged the Goddess to save them. She forced me to choose…Gwen or the baby…I chose the baby . When Gwen crossed over to A valon, I told her what happened and she was grateful, but I still feel like I should have done more.” “Well, as a mother, I can assure you that the life of her son was all that mattered to Guinevere.” “I just feel guilty .” “Have you told Arthur?” “Not yet. I need to. I’m not sure how .” “I am certain that he will feel the same as the queen. Gavin is his son and his heir . He dotes on that boy, and never fails to be there when he goes to bed so he can tell him a story and kiss him good night. Arthur is always telling him how proud he is of him.” “That is because Uther never gave Arthur the love and support that he needed and deserved. I think, deep down, he blamed Arthur for Ygraine’ s death when it was his doing. He used magic and when the price was her life, he lashed out at everyone and everything with magic instead of facing up to his own guilt. Arthur suf fered his entire life trying to please that man and he is determined that Gavin never feels the way he did.” “Arthur is a wonderful father, ” Hunith smiled, “And I think you will be as well.” “Me?” “Yes, Merlin, if you are going to be with Arthur, you will be Gavin’ s father as well.” Merlin smiled, “I guess I hadn’ t thought of it that way .” “It is good that Arthur told him all about you the last three years.” “I know I will need to help him with his magic. Kilgharrah said that his magic came from me. I don’ t quite understand how exactly . But when my magic was released, it healed him and Arthur and brought Gwaine back to life and somehow found its way to Gavin when Gwen was pregnant with him.” “That makes sense, ” Hunith nodded as she began to eat, “Gwen did tell me that the day before Arthur returned to Camelot, she had a dream. She said she felt something, a calming warmth wash over her and she just knew that Arthur was alive.” Merlin picked at his food and shook his head, “I am grateful to be back. I just hope it isn’ t because of some impending doom. I just want to live here with you, Arthur and Gavin, and our friends. T o not have to fight anymore.” “Magic is legal now, there have been no magical attacks in years.” “And we have Alined’ s son trying to start a war and using Gavin to do it.” “I am fairly certain that when word gets out that you are back at Arthur ’s side, he will rethink his plans. He had little chance of beating Arthur before, with you here now…the enemies of Camelot will not dare to challenge him.” “I hope you’re right.” “So, are you going to take over for Gaius?” Merlin nodded, “And Geof frey.” “Really?” “Arthur doesn’ t need a servant anymore. I need to do my part in bringing back magic. Educating people and allaying their fears and prejudices against those with magic. Arthur asked me to write my own books to add to the library and I plan to collect all the surviving books and such that still exist in the secret room. This is what I was always meant to do and now I am back I can fulfill this part of the prophecy .” “I will be happy to assist you here, ” Hunith said. “I would love that.” “I assume you will be moving into Arthur ’s chambers?” she asked with a knowing smile. Merlin chuckled and nodded, “He asked me to. I wanted to tell you first. And we need to give people time to adjust to the idea that their king is in love with his warlock.” “Merlin, don’ t you dare let anyone else keep you from the man you love.” “Mother, it is not that simple?” “Isn’ t it?” Hunith asked raising an eyebrow, “You nearly lost each other forever . Do you really plan to let what others think keep you apart just because a few might get upset? Arthur loves you and he wants to be with you. Do not waste a single second of this new life, Merlin.” “I won’ t, ” Merlin smiled. “I really need to find some clothes. I stole these from a village after the Lake of A valon spit me out naked and disoriented.” “Then it is a good thing that Gaius and I kept all your belongings. Y ou will find everything in your old room. Including your magic book and the Sidhe staf f and whatever else you had hidden beneath the floorboards.” “Really?” Merlin asked, “Why was everyone so certain that I would return?” “We had faith Merlin, because to believe anything else was too painful. Arthur believed more than anyone. He would visit the lake often and speak with Kilgharrah on a regular basis. He was convinced that one day you would return.” “I didn’ t know, ” Merlin said. “The man loves you.” “Arthur said that he told Gwen, after I died, he told her what I meant to him.” “Yes, Gwen and I talked about it. She adored you, Merlin. She was so grateful to have Arthur alive and well and the kingdom was safe from Mor gana at last. She knew you loved Arthur and that he loved you.” “I am really scared that if I accept that this is all real, that I can finally have Arthur…” “You’re afraid something will happen to take it all away .” “Yes.” “Then all the more reason to live in the present, my boy .” “You’re right.” “Of course, I am, ” Hunith beamed, “Now finish your food and go find your king.” “I am really glad you’re here, ” Merlin smiled. “Nowhere I would rather be. Before you go, you should clean up and change your clothes.” “Wish I had a tub. I could really use a bath.” “There’ s one in your room, ” Hunith smiled, “Arthur had it brought in here for me before I moved to Gwen’ s old house. Should I have water brought in?” Merlin grinned, “I think I can handle it.” “Good, ” Hunith got up wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek, “I do love you, my boy . I need to take some salve to Evoric then I am going home for the evening. Give Arthur my love.” “Yes, mother, ” Merlin chuckled. “See you tomorrow, ” Hunith laughed then left the room closing the door behind her . Merlin got up cleaned their plates with a word then moved about the room touching every surface, inhaling the familiar scent of herbs and woodsmoke. T ears came to his eyes as he remembered Gaius, his snoring, and the eyebrow that struck fear in the strongest knight. “Gods, I miss you, old friend, ” Merlin said softly, trailing his fingers along the stone hearth. He moved a chest from the table to the shelf where it had always been. He looked around then headed up the steps to his old room pushing the door open to find it just as he had left it except for the lar ge oval wooden tub by the wall. He tilted his head holding out a hand and the tub filled with steaming hot water and all the candles in the room flared to life casting a golden glow around the walls of the room he never thought he would see again. Opening the cupboard, he found his clothes clean and folded. His neckerchiefs and belts and his favorite brown jacket and two pairs of his boots. Hanging up on hooks were three brand- new tunics, blue, purple, and red. There were two new pairs of trousers dark blue and black, and a new pair of black boots. “Arthur, ” he smiled, “Y ou really did believe I would return.” Stripping of f his clothes and boots he slipped into the water with a deep sigh and closed his eyes. He felt a rush of emotions…grief, longing, pain, anguish…like sliding into a pit so deep and dark he could easily get lost in it. Then there was love, like a beacon, shining bright and clear showing him the way back out. His shoulders trembled, tears sliding down his face as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyelids. Arthur climbed the steps to Merlin’ s old room, he stopped at the door as he heard Merlin’ s quiet sobs. He splayed his hand against the wood not sure whether to intrude or to walk away . Shaking his head, he let out a breath and pushed the door open. He saw Merlin in the tub, head down. He closed the door and crossed the floor to kneel next to the tub. “Merlin, ” he whispered placing a hand on the back of his head then gently caressed his neck, “Merlin, you are home…you’re here with me. Everything is going to be all right.” Arthur leaned forward pressing his lips to the back of Merlin’ s shoulder . It scared him to no end to see him like this, so broken and vulnerable. “Merlin, look at me, please, ” he said, and Merlin turned his head, his eyes wide and dark with pain. “Arthur, ” he said. “I’m sorry, ” Arthur said brushing his thumb over the sensitive place behind Merlin’ s ear. Merlin shook his head, “I just…everything just hit me…” “I know, believe me…I’ve had many of those moments in the last few years. I understand.” “I mean, I am so grateful to be home…” “But you feel overwhelmed by all that you have lost.” Merlin nodded, “And I’m really scared, Arthur…that all this…that we…” He shook his head then leaned back, resting it on the edge of the tub. “Me too, ” Arthur said then leaned over to grab the washcloth and soap. He slowly and tenderly began to wash the dirt and grime from Merlin’ s neck and chest. “Just lie back, I’m going to look after you for a change.” “You don’ t have to, ” Merlin shook his head. “Yes, I do, ” Arthur said as he raised Merlin’ s right arm out of the water easing the soap and cloth over his pale skin and lean muscles wrapping a hand around his slender wrist as he washed his long fingers and palm before pressing his lips to the center of it. “Y ou took care of me, but you had no one to take care of you. That changes now .” “Arthur…” “Shh, close your eyes and just let me do this, Merlin, ” Arthur said then took hold of his left arm repeating the motions. He leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s chest. The scars that Merlin used to have were gone…where there had once been raised white jagged ridges of flesh, was now smooth pale white skin. “This is strange, ” Merlin gave a husky moan as Arthur ’s hand slid down his stomach to his hip and down his thigh to his knee lifting it from the water to wash it. He repeated the motion with the other leg and Merlin let out a shaky breath and an even deeper moan. “Feel good, does it?” Arthur asked with a crooked grin. “It’s not unpleasant, ” Merlin trembled and let out a gasp as his king slid a hand up his inner thigh hesitating just a moment before going further, slowly wrapping around his fully hard cock. “Arthur!” he growled, and Arthur laughed softly . “Finally, ” he said slowly stroking Merlin as he leaned over and kissed him. “Gods, Arthur…” “You are much bigger than I imagined, ” Arthur said against his lips. “You imagined my…” Merlin’ s laugh was cut of f by a guttural groan of pleasure as Arthur ’s thumb and forefinger wrapped around the head. “Arthur…oh, that…don’ t stop, please. Gods, that feels so good.” “I have no intention of stopping, ” Arthur said kissing him deeper, his tongue asking for and gaining entrance to Merlin’ s warm wet mouth, their tongues moving together as he pleasured him with his sword-callused hand. “I’m going to make you come for me.” “Arthur…I’m so close, ” Merlin panted arching into the king’ s grip as he stroked his full length. He wanted it to last, he struggled to hold back, but it just felt too good. It wasn’ t just anyone touching him so intimately, it was Arthur…his Arthur . “Don’ t hold back, Merlin, just let go. I want you to.” Merlin tilted his head back and cried out Arthur ’s name. His chest heaving his hands gripping the edge of the tub as his lips parted and he shuddered violently as he came, spilling his seed in the bathwater . His eyes closed tightly; he bit down on his bottom lip. “Feel better?” Arthur asked as he nuzzled his neck and kissed the spot behind his ear while lazily stroking his cock. “Oh, yes, ” Merlin gasped still quivering, the muscles in his stomach and thighs clenching and releasing with the force of his release. Arthur got to his feet and then leaned over to kiss him. “I’ll leave you to finish. Get dressed and join me in my chambers for dinner .” Merlin opened his eyes noticing the obvious bulge in Arthur ’s trousers. “But you need…” “Later, Merlin, ” he said then tenderly washed his face and smiled. “W ear the purple one, ” he said then kissed Merlin deeply before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Merlin huf fed a laugh then quickly finished washing and got out of the tub to dry of f and dress. He put on the black trousers and purple tunic then slipped on the new black boots. He gave up on his hair leaving it wet and messy then headed for Arthur ’s chambers. Just as he approached the door it opened, and he found himself face to face with Geor ge who looked at him at first with surprise then a tight smile. “Merlin, welcome home, ” he said stif fly then with a bow he moved past him and down the corridor . “Are you just going to stand there with your mouth open?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Did Geor ge just bow to me?” “Get used to it, Merlin, you’re not a servant anymore.” “I’ll always be your servant, Arthur . Nice clothes and a title won’ t change that, ” Merlin chuckled as he walked in and closed the door . “Lock it, I don’ t want to be disturbed, ” Arthur wagged an eyebrow and Merlin laughed slipping the lock into place then moved toward the table where there was a veritable feast laid out for the two of them. “Um, Arthur…what you did for me back in my room…” Arthur closed the distance between them and kissed him, “That’ s just a taste of what I have in store for you, Merlin.” He looked down taking in his appearance and shook his head, “I always did love you in purple.” “I can’ t believe you had new clothes waiting for me. Y ou really had faith that I would return.” “I did, ” Arthur kissed him again, “I had to keep the faith or go mad with grief.” Merlin shook his head, “I never considered how much my death would af fect you. I never meant to bring you so much pain.” “It doesn’ t matter now, you are back. Now sit down with me and eat, ” Arthur motioned toward the table and Merlin sat down in the chair while Arthur took the one across from him and poured the wine. The king looked at him his blue eyes filled with concern. “Merlin, is there something bothering you?” “There are things I need to tell you, but I’m not sure how .” “I thought we were beyond secrets, ” Arthur said, raising an eyebrow . “Come on, out with it.” “Well, first, I met your mother . She was beautiful and so sweet. W e talked about you and I told her everything. She is so proud of you, Arthur . She loves you so much. She also told me everything your father did.” “So, what she told me was true?” Merlin nodded, “I lied to you back then and I’m sorry . I thought I was doing the right thing.” “You did the right thing, Merlin. It’ s all right. Thank you for telling me. It feels good knowing mother is proud of me. That’ s not all though is it?” Merlin tore of f a piece of bread and a hunk of meat then shook his head. “When I was in Avalon, the night of Gavin’ s birth, I sensed your fear, your despair, and Gwen’ s pain.” Arthur stopped eating and took a drink of wine. “Y ou did?” Merlin nodded, “I used magic to look in on you and I saw everything. I begged the Goddess to save Gwen and the baby . I told her I would do anything.” “Merlin, what did you do?” Arthur asked warily . “I wanted to save them both, Arthur, ” Merlin’ s eyes filled with tears. “The Goddess…she forced me to choose. She said I could save the queen or the child, that if I didn’ t choose, they would both die. I—I chose to save Gavin. I let Gwen die. I’m so sorry, Arthur…if I could have saved her…” Arthur stared at Merlin, his eyes wide and dark. Merlin dropped his gaze to his hands and stilled, not daring to breathe, waiting for his king’ s wrath. When it didn’ t come, he dared to look up and Arthur was shaking his head. He slammed his fists down on the arms of his chair making Merlin flinch. “I—I’m so sorry, ” he choked on the words then slid his chair back getting ready to leave the room. “Where are you going?” Arthur asked, his voice hard. “I understand why you’re angry, I don’ t blame you, ” Merlin said, “I’ll just go.” “Merlin, ” Arthur said then got up walking around the table to grip his forearms, “I am not angry at you. No one should be forced to make such a choice. No one. I am so sorry the Goddess did that to you. It wasn’ t fair.” “But Gwen, ” Merlin said, quickly averting his gaze. “Merlin, listen to me, ” Arthur cupped his chin lifting his eyes again, “What she made you do was cruel. I am not angry at you; I am angry at what she did to you. T o be forced to choose between your dearest friend and the life of her baby .” “When I said that I felt like I was betraying Gwen, this is why . I can’ t help but wonder what she would think of my being here…” Merlin swallowed hard, “I saw her in A valon, and I told her what happened. She told me I made the right choice, and that the life of her child was all that mattered to her . But now I am here, and she isn’ t…” “Merlin, you know my mother died giving birth to me. Guinevere and I talked about it at length. She told me that if anything were to go wrong that she would gladly die to save our baby . You made the right choice. Guinevere loved Gavin with all that she was. She would not have wanted to live if he had died. It was not fair that you were put in that position, but I love my son more than life and I am grateful. It was so hard to lose her, but if I had lost them both…” “I couldn’ t let you lose them both, ” Merlin said softly, shaking his head. “Thank you, Merlin, ” Arthur said then drew him into his arms and kissed him, “I don’ t want you to feel like your being here is a betrayal to Guinevere. Please, let it go.” “I’ll try, ” he nodded. “Good, ” Arthur cupped his cheek, “Now sit and eat.” They returned to the table eating in silence for a while until Arthur pushed his chair back and went to look out the windows. Folding his arms across his chest. Merlin watched him for a moment, he knew that look, Arthur was thinking. “Arthur?” he asked. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “For what?” “From the moment we met I treated you horribly . I took you for granted and I expected far more from you than any servant before you. I dragged you into dangerous situations that, as a servant, you had no business being in. Merlin, I put you at risk time and time again, for purely selfish reasons…because I couldn’ t bear to be apart from you. I needed you like I needed air to breathe. I think I knew even then that I loved you and because of that kept you at arm’ s length not allowing myself to admit to those feelings. I thought if I could pretend, they didn’ t exist I would be able to love someone else and no one would ever have to know that I was completely in love with my manservant. I think my father began to suspect something was going on when I chose to go after the Mortaeus flower to save your life. So, I had to be even more careful, because if he ever found out the truth he would have either banished or executed you.” Merlin remained silent sensing that Arthur needed to get his feelings out. “When you went missing after the rockfall, which I assume you caused to protect me, I was lost. All I could think about was that you were out there somewhere in danger and that I never told you what you meant to me. When you told me about your magic, I reacted badly . I was hurt and angry because you lied to me, and you didn’ t trust me with such a huge part of who you are. But then I realized that I never gave you any reason to. How many times did I tell you to your face that magic was pure evil, that it corrupted people? I belittled you and treated you like a fool. Y ou watched me follow my father ’s orders like a mindless attack dog. Y ou had every reason in the world to keep your secret from me.” “Arthur, if I could go back, I would tell you in the beginning. I wanted you to know . I nearly told you that day in Ealdor…if Mor gana hadn’ t walked in to tell us Kanen and his men had crossed the river, I would have.” Arthur nodded, “I know that now, but Merlin, I am not sure what I would have done back then. I cannot say for certain that I wouldn’ t have left you in Ealdor or turned you over to my father .” “Still, I should have trusted you.” “I know I told you that the past doesn’ t matter anymore, but it does. I cannot make up for the way I treated you and I cannot make up for all the pain and loss you suf fered because of me. Will, Freya, your father…and then you died for me.” “And I told you I would do it all over again, ” Merlin said then got up from his chair going to stand in front of his king. “I love you, Arthur . I want to be with you. W e both made mistakes, but we are here now, and I don’ t want to keep things from you anymore. I want no barriers between us.” Arthur smiled and kissed him, “I want to love you the way you deserve.” “We can start right now, ” Merlin grinned then deepened the kiss. “Clothes are definitely a barrier, ” Arthur growled against his lips. “Yes, they are.” “I missed you undressing me.” “I may be out of practice, ” Merlin chuckled staring into Arthur ’s eyes. “I’m sure it will all come back to you.” “Hmm, yes, ” Merlin smiled backing Arthur toward the bed, tugging at the laces of Arthur ’s trousers, “I can’ t stop thinking about what happened in my room earlier . Seeing you hard for me.” “It’s not the first time, ” Arthur grinned kissing Merlin harder . “You asked me if I have been with anyone, were you ever with anyone other than Gwen?” “When I was younger before you came to Camelot. I was with a woman once and experimented with fellow knights, but nothing like what I want to do with you.” “Really?” Merlin asked with a smirk. “Merlin, I want your mouth on me, please, ” Arthur said with a hitch in his voice, “So many times I imagined those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock.” “Yes, Sire, ” Merlin smiled dropping to his knees. He hooked his fingers beneath the waist of Arthur ’s trousers drawing them down freeing his engor ged cock. He let out a long, drawn- out moan as Merlin licked the full length from base to tip before swallowing him down licking and sucking and stroking him mercilessly until Arthur ’s knees were trembling. “Gods, Merlin, ” Arthur gasped tangling his fingers in Merlin’ s dark hair, “It’s even better than I imagined. Y our mouth…” His hips stuttered as the head of his cock hit the back of Merlin’ s throat and he sucked in his cheeks. “Oh, yes…Merlin, so good.” Merlin drew back looking up at Arthur with such absolute love and desire. “Arthur, I want you to take me…please.” “Yes, Merlin…I want to, ” Arthur said drawing him up to his feet and kissing him hard and deep. He pulled Merlin’ s tunic of f and removed his trousers after he kicked of f his boots. He stood before his king fully naked, his beautiful pale skin begging to be touched and kissed and marked by Arthur…claimed at last. “Arthur, ” his eyes flashed gold and he kissed him, “I’m ready please…” Arthur kicked of f his own trousers and tunic then eased Merlin back against the bed. “Y ou’re so beautiful, ” he whispered as he kissed him. Merlin laid back on the bed and Arthur moved between his parted thighs his fingers finding him slick and open for him. He let out a low moan and pressed the head of his cock against his entrance biting down on his bottom lip as he struggled to slow down, to keep himself from the edge. Merlin kissed him passionately wrapping his long legs around Arthur . “Now, please, Arthur, ” he whispered huskily, “I need you inside me.” “I don’ t want to hurt you.” “You won’ t, ” Merlin panted, “Please, I have waited so long.” Arthur kissed him full on the lips then dragged one hand down to Merlin’ s heavy cock stroking him slowly as he drove his hips forward into Merlin, groaning as the wet heat of his body enveloped him. “Oh, God, ” Arthur whispered, “Y ou feel so good.” “Arthur, yes, please…” Arthur thrust into Merlin hard and deep and fast completely losing himself in the intensity of the joining of their bodies. It was even more incredible than he ever could have imagined. “Merlin, you’re mine at last…I love you, ” he gasped. “I love you too, ” Merlin breathed out throwing his head back, his eyes closed, and lips parted in a wordless cry of sheer pleasure. Arthur ’s cock filled him so completely, awakening his body in ways he never dreamed possible. His magic wrapped around them, and he laughed breathlessly as he felt it caressing Arthur ’s body and his king’ s eyes opened wide in surprise. “That feels strange, ” Arthur moaned feeling Merlin’ s magic brushing over his skin like a thousand butterflies. “Incredible, ” he gasped. Arthur pulled out of Merlin earning him a whine of protest. He moved onto the bed and laid down. Merlin moved on top of him immediately impaling himself on Arthur ’s cock once again. Arthur slid his hands over his shoulders and down his back to cup his arse while he rode him slowly, reveling in every movement. “Merlin…I’m close, so close.” “Touch me, Arthur, ” Merlin moaned as he rotated his hips and bore down on Arthur fully and his hand wrapped around Merlin’ s cock stroking him. “Y es, so good, ” he gasped. “Merlin, now, ” Arthur moaned arching up into him as he spilled his seed deep inside him at last and Merlin followed him over the edge coating his hand in his own come. “Arthur…holy hell, ” Merlin shuddered and trembled on top of him. “That was incredible, ” Arthur laughed breathlessly . “Gods, why did we wait so long?” Merlin asked. “We were clearly idiots.” Easing of f Arthur, Merlin laid down next to him and they kissed. Chests pressed together, skin glistening with sweat. “I love you, ” Merlin smiled. “I love you, Merlin, ” Arthur grinned his thumb stroking his cheek and gliding across his bottom lip. “Always. Stay the night with me.” “I think I can be persuaded, ” Merlin grinned kissing him lazily as they clung to each other . Arthur brought his hand up and removed his silver ring sliding it onto Merlin’ s finger bringing tears to his eyes. “Arthur, I can’ t…” “You can, Merlin. I want everyone to know what we are to each other now . Wear it always.” “But it was your mother ’s.” “And she would want you to have it.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, ” Arthur kissed him. “Thank you, ” Merlin smiled kissing him back. “Are you tired?” Arthur asked. “Not really .” “Feel like going to the tavern?” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want to go to the tavern?” “I think we should go. Gwaine and the others are there tonight. I know they want to welcome you home too.” “What about Gavin’ s story time?” “Already taken care of. The poor little one was exhausted. He was out before I got to the bit about the unicorn.” “In that case, let’ s go to the tavern, ” Merlin grinned. Arthur kissed him then they got out of bed cleaned up and got dressed. Merlin’ s hair was all over the place and Arthur laughed trying to tame it to no avail. “I think you may need a little magic for this, ” Arthur smiled, “Y ou walk in looking like that and they will know exactly what we have been up to.” “I thought you wanted everyone to know, ” Merlin grinned. “I want them to know we are together but what we do in our bedroom is none of their business, ” Arthur said kissing him. “Y ou know Gwaine…” “Ah yes, I do, ” Merlin smiled then with a word his magic smoothed his hair . “Better?” “I shall look forward to messing it up again later, ” Arthur said huskily then pulled him close, “You are beautiful, Merlin.” “Am I really?” “Gods, yes, absolutely ethereally so.” “I still can’ t quite believe this is happening.” “We just made love, ” Arthur grinned, “And if we don’ t get going, I am going to mess up that hair right now .” Merlin laughed then headed for the door and unlocked it. They left Arthur ’s chambers heading down the corridor out of the castle and toward the lower town. The Rising Sun was full of people when they entered. Musicians were playing in the corner and there were couples dancing. Gwaine spotted them immediately and waved them over . “Didn’ t expect to see you two tonight, ” he winked, and Arthur gave him a stern look, though his eyes were filled with amusement. “I figured you all would want to welcome Merlin home, ” he smirked. “Aye that we do, ” Gwaine said embracing Merlin, “Y ou look really good, old friend. Happy .” “I am, ” Merlin smiled shyly lowering his head for a moment, “It feels good to be back.” “Look at you, ” Leon said, “All dressed up.” The knight embraced Merlin. “It is good to see you.” “Merlin, ” Percival said placing a big hand on his shoulder, “Welcome home, you were missed.” “Thank you, ” Merlin smiled then followed Arthur to a bench on the other side of the long table where the knights were sitting. They sat down and Evoric brought them tankards of mead. “Merlin, dear boy, it is so good to see you again, ” he said, “W elcome back.” “Good to see you too, Evoric, ” Merlin grinned, “How’ s Greta and the kids?” “Greta is well, she is visiting her sister in Brenwell, she will be delighted to see you. The kids have all grown and moved away, but they are doing well. James will be moving home to take over the tavern in a few months I am getting too old for this. I must get back to my patrons. Again, welcome back, Merlin.” Arthur leaned close linking their fingers together . “Are you all right? If it is too overwhelming we can go.” “No, I want to stay, ” Merlin said. “Good, ” Arthur smiled then kissed him earning them a series of whistles and cheers from the knights. They both rolled their eyes and smiled. “It’s about time, ” Leon chuckled, and Arthur looked at his old friend and first knight. “What are you on about?” he asked him. “Poetry, ” Leon grinned. “Right, ” Arthur nodded, and Merlin laughed, his blue eyes wide and filled with mirth. It was so good to see Merlin happy and alive. His heart swelled with love and quietness even in the midst of the gaiety . The other half of his soul was back where he belonged, and he would never let anything come between them again. “I love you.” Merlin kissed him, “I love you too.” Two hours, many more tankards of mead, and a lot of celebrating later, the two of them and Gwaine made their way back to the castle. The three of them were laughing and shoving each other playfully . “Gwaine…you’re drunk, ” Arthur said, only slightly slurring his words. “So are you, My Lord, ” Gwaine chuckled, “Good thing Merlin is still somewhat sober, or we would be sleeping in the upstairs room again.” “You two slept in the inn?” Merlin asked. “Yep, after you…we got drunk. Percival and Leon had to practically carry us upstairs, ” Arthur grinned. “It’ s not appropriate for a king to get drunk in public…but I am so happy tonight. I have you back, ” he said stopping to pull Merlin into his arms for a deep kiss. Gwaine laughed, “Y ou’re worried about getting drunk in public and you’re making out with Merlin in the street.” “Shut up, Gwaine, ” Merlin grinned kissing Arthur back. “I’ll leave you two be, ” Gwaine laughed then headed for his chambers. “Good night, Gwaine, ” Arthur chuckled. “Good night, My Lord…good night, Merlin.” Arthur laughed, “Maybe we should take this back to my chambers.” “I have a better idea, ” Merlin grinned then took his hand leading Arthur through a door and into the castle. He pulled him into a short corridor and through a door into a stairwell that led up to the tower . They stumbled through a door and into a round room at the top of the tower its windows overlooking the whole city bathed in moonlight. “I haven’ t been up here since I was a child, ” Arthur smiled, “I used to love this room.” “I would come here often to think, to practice magic, ” Merlin said leaning on the windowsill taking in the view . Arthur stared at him intently and shook his head. “It must have been so lonely, so isolating…being forced to hide who you were.” “It was, but I don’ t have to anymore, ” Merlin turned to meet his gaze, his smile bright and open. Arthur moved closer wrapping his arms around him, “Never again, Merlin…never again.” He kissed him deeply then went down on his knees his fingers quickly freeing Merlin’ s half- hard cock swallowing him down. Merlin moaned loudly, one hand on the windowsill and the other on his king’ s head, his fingers tugging at his hair as his mouth devoured his full length. “Arthur, Gods, feels so good, ” he gasped tilting his head back, lips parted. “Merlin, ” Arthur whispered looking up at him with wild eyes reveling in the feel of Merlin, the taste of Merlin. “Arthur, your mouth, ” he breathed out, chest heaving, as he resisted the ur ge to thrust into that wet heat. “My Lord…Sire…Gods, please…” He leaned back against the stone, his knees trembling. “Arthur, I’m close…” Arthur moaned around him and sucked in his cheeks his tongue curling around Merlin’ s cock and a moment later he came with a violent shudder spilling his seed in the mouth of his sovereign. His knees gave out and he collapsed in Arthur ’s arms holding on to him like a lifeline. “Merlin, ” Arthur said with a breathless laugh, “Are you all right?” “Ask me that when I can remember my name, ” Merlin chuckled. “I love making you come, ” Arthur whispered in his ear, “The look of utter bliss on your face…and your eyes…they turn gold for just a moment when you reach the threshold.” “Do they?” Merlin asked with a grin as he looked into Arthur ’s eyes. “Yes, it’ s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Absolutely stunning.” “I’ve never felt like this, Arthur…all my life I was never able to truly be myself with anyone.” “I’m glad you can now…with me, ” Arthur smiled kissing him tenderly . Merlin’ s hand stroked the length of Arthur ’s hard shaft through his trousers as they kissed. “Shall I return the favor, Sire?” he asked with a grin. “Stand up, ” Arthur said, and Merlin got to his feet. Arthur followed suit and unlaced his trousers. “T urn around and lean on the windowsill.” Merlin obeyed looking back over his shoulder as Arthur ran his hands over the soft flesh of his arse his fingers delving inside him. “Arthur, ” Merlin moaned pressing back against those fingers as he worked him open with only a little aid from magic. “Hold on to something, ” Arthur grinned then pulled his fingers out freeing his cock, and stepped forward thrusting into Merlin in one smooth motion, burying himself inside to the hilt. Merlin let out a cry of pleasure his fingers gripping the stone as Arthur rolled his hips making him shiver from head to toe. “Gods, you feel good, Merlin.” “Arthur…” Merlin moaned as they moved together both breathing hard and desperate for more, needing to get closer, to mer ge their bodies and souls for eternity . “Harder, please, ” Merlin gasped thrusting back against his king the head of his cock brushing against the spot inside him that made him see stars and his knees go weak. “I love you, ” Arthur growled pounding into Merlin harder and faster until he spilled inside him with such force that he swore he nearly lost consciousness. “Gods, Merlin…” Merlin could not speak, he was so lost in the moment, the ecstasy of release. He barely touched himself and he was coming, spilling his seed over his hand. He pressed his forehead to the cool of the stone wall and Arthur curled around him. “Never like this with anyone else, ” Arthur whispered against the back of his head, “Only you, Merlin…only you.” “Arthur, ” Merlin said breathlessly . “Are you all right? I didn’ t hurt you did I?” “Oh, I am good…amazing in fact, ” Merlin said leaning back into his arms. “I wonder if I can let Leon run the kingdom for a week or two and we can stay in my chambers and make love over and over .” Merlin laughed, “As brilliant as that would be, I’m not sure it would be a good idea. People will think I enchanted you or something to distract you from your duties.” “You are a wonderful distraction, ” Arthur kissed him. “Come on, it is getting cold up here, ” Merlin said, “Let’ s go back to your chambers.” They righted their clothing smoothed down their hair and headed back down the spiral staircase. W alking hand in hand down the corridor of the silent palace. This is how it was always meant to be. This was their destiny realized. “Merlin, ” Arthur said as they reached the door of his room. “Yeah?” Merlin asked. “I am not sure what I will need to do to make it possible under the laws of Camelot, but I want you to be mine in every way . I want to marry you. If you will have me.” Merlin’ s eyes went wide and bright, “Arthur…” “Merlin, will you marry me?” Arthur asked taking hold of both hands, his thumb tracing the silver ring on his finger . “Please, I love you and I want you to be my husband.” “Yes, ” Merlin said tears shining in his eyes, “Y es, Arthur, I will marry you. If that is even possible.” Arthur sur ged forward and kissed him deeply, “I will do whatever it takes to make it happen.” “If not then perhaps we can be bound in other ways, ” Merlin smiled. Arthur kissed him deeply and then opened the door . They went inside and Merlin closed and locked the door again. He poured them some wine and started the fire in the hearth to ward off the chill of the room while Arthur cleaned up and got ready for bed. Merlin watched him with a crooked grin on his face as he washed and undressed. “What?” Arthur asked when he noticed. “You really have learned to do things for yourself.” “I can unlearn if you prefer, ” Arthur grinned. “Actually, I kind of like this new independent you, ” Merlin said as he closed the distance between them and pulled of f his tunic and boots. “Do you now?” “Mmm, yes, it’ s really kind of nice to not have to worry about chores. I can focus on much more rewarding endeavors.” “Please do, ” Arthur smirked as Merlin kissed his neck and shoulder . “Yes, My Lord, ” he said then kissed him full on the mouth. The New Prophecy Merlin sat on the floor in the secret room of the library surrounded by piles of magic books sorted by the type of magic they contained and subject matter . He was surprised that so many had survived Uther ’s pur ge and suspected that Geof frey had kept them in this room on purpose. There’ s no way the man did not know this room existed. His suspicions were confirmed when he found a book, more of a record. It was in the old librarian’ s handwriting the dates listed were all after the start of the Great Pur ge. It listed the books that had been destroyed. Merlin smiled, Geof frey had been working behind Uther ’s back to protect materials that were rare and that he could not bear to see lost forever . Getting to his feet, Merlin walked over to a long shelf, he waved a hand banishing the layers of dust and cobwebs then his eyes flashed gold and each shelf was engraved with magic runes that would protect the books from everything from fire to flood. He then arranged them on the newly cleaned shelves. “Merlin!” Merlin turned around grinning at the sound of Gavin’ s voice. He walked to the panel, pushed it open, and stepped through into the main library . “Merlin, there you are, ” Gavin smiled running to him. “Hello, what are you doing here, little one?” “Hunith brought me.” Just then Hunith came around the corner . “There you are, young man, you are getting too fast for me, ” she laughed. “Merlin, you’re covered in dust, what are you doing in here?” “Cleaning the secret room, or ganizing the magic books that were hidden in there. I am taking over for Geof frey.” “Aren’ t you taking on too much, so soon?” she asked, “Physician and librarian?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Believe me compared to being Gaius’ apprentice, Arthur ’s manservant, and secret defender of Camelot, this is a piece of cake.” “I suppose so, ” Hunith said, “I just worry .” “I’m fine, mother, really, ” Merlin grinned kissing her cheek. “You do look happy, ” she smiled knowingly, “I assume you and Arthur…” Merlin blushed, “Y es, he wants me to marry him.” “Oh, that is wonderful news.” “It may never happen, but it is nice knowing that it’ s what he wants.” “Arthur loves you, Merlin. I am certain he will find a way .” “What if the people, the court won’ t accept us being together?” “Does it matter?” Hunith asked, “As long as you and Arthur love each other?” “No, it doesn’ t, ” Merlin grinned then kissed Gavin’ s cheek. “I want books, ” Gavin said wrapping his arms around Merlin’ s neck. “Then let’ s find you some books, ” Merlin laughed. Arthur paced the empty council chambers his arms folded across his chest. He’d woken up from a nightmare to an empty bed, empty chambers. For a fleeting moment, he feared that he had dreamed it all, that Merlin was still dead. Then he looked over at the tangled bedding, the imprint from another head on the pillows and he smiled. He’s spent the entire morning pouring over the laws of Camelot looking for a way to make it possible for him and Merlin to marry . For Merlin to be accepted as his and to rule by his side. He had trusted members of the court working out the details. W ith luck, he and Merlin could be married within a month. He smiled running his fingers through his hair . He needed a haircut and now that Merlin was back… “Sire, ” Leon said as he came through the door, “Riders are approaching the gates. They wear the colors of Deorham.” “Alined’ s men…” Arthur frowned, “Show them to the throne room. I will see them immediately .” “Very well, ” Leon nodded and left. Arthur took a breath and then headed for the throne room. He spotted Gwaine in the corridor . “Gwaine, I need you to go to the library and find Merlin. T ell him to dress and meet me in the throne room we have guests. Alined’ s men.” Gwaine nodded, “I’ll go. What do you think this is about?” “Not sure, but I need Merlin there with me.” “Right, I’ll go get him and we will meet you in the throne room, ” Gwaine said then took of f running down the corridor . Merlin was just leaving the library when Gwaine rounded the corner . “What’ s wrong?” he asked. “Arthur sent me to find you, Alined’ s men are here. He needs you to dress up pretty and join him in the throne room.” “What do they want?” Merlin asked as they headed for the physician’ s chambers so he could clean up and change clothes. “No idea, but it can’ t be good.” Hunith was preparing a remedy when they walked in, and Gavin was sitting on the bed looking at a book of pictures of mythical creatures. “Merlin, Gwaine, ” she smiled. “Mother, I need you to keep Gavin here, do not let him out of your sight. Alined’ s men are here, and we don’ t know what they want, ” Merlin said as he ran up the steps to his room and closed the door . He used magic to heat water in a bowl, washed up quickly then put on his new dark blue trousers and the red tunic with the gold embroidered collar and cuf fs. Slipped on his black boots and tamed his hair with magic then headed back downstairs. Hunith reached up to fix the collar and patted his cheek. “I will keep Gavin here with me, ” she nodded, “T ell Arthur he is safe.” “I love you, ” Merlin kissed her forehead then bent to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “Gavin, you will protect my mother for me?” “I will, ” the boy beamed up at him. “Gwaine, ” Merlin nodded, and they left the room. Arthur looked up as the door opened and Merlin walked in with Gwaine right behind him. He approached looking around warily . “Where are they?” he asked. “They are on their way up now, ” Arthur said as he looked Merlin over from head to toe and smiled making an appreciative sound. “W e definitely need to get the tailor to make you more new clothes. Y ou look incredible.” “Thank you, My Lord, ” Merlin grinned, leaning in for a kiss, but Gwaine cleared his throat alerting them to the arrival of their guests and he moved to stand behind Arthur ’s throne, but the king gripped his wrist and drew him forward to stand beside him. “Your Majesty, ” Leon said, “I present the delegation from King Alined. They asked for an audience with you in regard to the actions of Prince Amren.” “Very well, ” Arthur nodded, then Leon stepped aside, and the men entered. “Your highness, King Arthur, ” the leader said, “I am Sir Harak, first knight of Deorham. King Alined sent us with an of fering and his deepest apologies for the actions of his son Prince Amren in the kidnapping of your son Prince Gavin.” Arthur raised an eyebrow, “He is admitting that Amren was involved?” “Yes, My Lord, ” Harak said, “The prince confessed to the king what he had done after some persuasion. King Alined has disinherited him and named his daughter, Princess Fiona as his successor to the throne.” “And what is this of fering?” Arthur asked. Harak motioned to one of his men who moved to the door and gestured to someone in the corridor . A man in restraints, with a hood over his head, was dragged into the throne room and forced onto his knees at Arthur ’s feet. The hood was then removed to reveal a terrified Prince Amren. “King Alined wishes to avoid war, ” Harak said, “Prince Amren is at your mercy, to face sentencing for the crime of kidnapping your son.” Arthur stared down at the prince, he was only a year older than Arthur . They had known each other as boys. The man had grown up pampered and protected. “Amren, ” Arthur said, “What do you have to say for yourself? Y ou kidnapped my son.” “King Arthur, I deeply regret what I did. I was angry at my father for giving away my birthright.” “My son could have been killed, ” Arthur said his voice sharp and hard. “I know, My Lord, I beg of you, if you intend to kill me, make it quick.” Arthur gave Merlin a sidelong glance and Merlin gave him a barely discernable nod. He turned his attention back to Prince Amren. “On your feet, Amren, ” Arthur said. The prince obeyed, with help from Harak, reluctantly meeting Arthur ’s gaze. “Please, Y our Majesty…” Amren practically whimpered. “Your father has banished you?” “Yes, ” he said his voice trembling. Arthur let out a breath and shook his head, “Everything in me wants to have you put to death for what you did, but it seems that letting you live will be a greater punishment. Y ou will be released, Prince Amren. Y ou will leave Camelot…leave the five kingdoms never to return. Is that understood?” “Yes, My Lord, thank you…your mercy is appreciated. I will do as you have ordered. Y ou have shown that you are a good and strong king.” Arthur took a step toward him, and the prince paled, “It is not mercy, Amren. What you did was cruel and unfor givable. But if we are to achieve lasting peace in the kingdoms, it must be without bloodshed. I am not my father . If I were you would be dead already . I choose to let you live with what you have done and what you have lost because of your decision.” “King Arthur, ” Sir Harak bowed, “W e will inform King Alined of your decision.” “Very well, ” Arthur nodded, “Now remove him from my court, please.” Gwaine and Leon glanced at Arthur nodding then followed the men out. Merlin released a breath and then took hold of his king’ s hand. “That was a tough decision, ” he said softly . “Yes, but the right one, ” Arthur smiled. “Are you all right?” “As long as you are by my side, yes, ” he said then kissed Merlin tenderly . “I’m proud of you, ” Merlin grinned. “Proud of your king?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Of you, ” Merlin kissed him. “Funny, even though my father so rarely said those words to me, they mean so much more coming from you, Merlin. I want so much to be worthy of your love, your loyalty, and devotion.” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur…” “I love you, Merlin.” “And I love you, Y our Majesty .” “Now you use titles, ” Arthur chuckled. “You’d rather I call you a prat? “Actually, yes.” “I love you, Prat, ” Merlin grinned then kissed him deeply . The lower town was just beginning to stir as the sun rose in the east. A lone figure wrapped in a dark green cloak the hood covering her long dark hair walked with determination, her back straight and head high. As she walked through the lower town she lowered the hood. The people gasped their eyes going wide in fear as they stared in disbelief. She gave them a hesitant smile and continued on her way the people parting to let her through. She walked into the square only to find herself surrounded by knights. The alarm bells went of f alerting the citadel to the intruder . Arthur and Merlin heard them from their chambers. There was a knock on the door . It opened and Gwaine entered. “Arthur…” he said his eyes filled with fear . “What is it?” Arthur asked. “In the square, it’ s Mor gana. She has returned.” Merlin’ s eyes widened and he took of f running with Arthur and Gwaine close behind. He charged down the stairs and out the doors heading down the steps. He pushed between two of the knights. Reaching Mor gana, he drew her behind him protectively and shook his head. “Stop, please, ” he said, “She means no harm.” “Merlin, ” Mor gana said, sounding annoyed, “I don’ t need you to protect me.” “Doesn’ t look that way to me, ” Merlin grinned. “Mor gana, ” Arthur said as he came down the steps. “Arthur…” “Is it really you?” he asked motioning for the knights to stand down. Morgana moved from behind Merlin approaching her brother . She bowed her head and then knelt at his feet. She looked up at him, tears in her jade-green eyes. “It is me, the real me, Y our Highness, ” she said her voice soft, but edged with fear and uncertainty . “Merlin told me everything, ” Arthur said then crouched in front of her catching her completely by surprise. “I’m sorry, Mor gana.” Morgana shook her head, tears sliding down her cheeks, “Why are you apologizing to me?” “I failed you, ” Arthur said reaching out to brush a tear away with his thumb, “I was blind to your pain, your fear . What our father did to you was wrong, just as he was wrong about magic.” “Arthur, what I did…” Mor gana choked back a sob. “It wasn’ t you…well, it wasn’ t all you. I know that now . How are you back?” Morgana glanced at Merlin then turned back to Arthur, “The Goddess, she said I could return, but I can only stay if I can earn your for giveness, Arthur . I know I don’ t deserve it… Arthur smiled and pulled her into his embrace, “Y ou have it, Mor gana…if you can for give me.” Mor gana’ s whole body shook with relieved sobs as she clung to her brother . Merlin met Arthur ’s gaze with a wide grin and a nod. “I’m so sorry, Arthur, ” Mor gana gasped. “Welcome home, my sister…I love you, ” Arthur smiled cupping the back of her head. Morgana stif fened and drew back releasing him, then stood up. She closed her eyes tilting her head back as what looked like falling stars shot across the sky conver ging on one point to become a beam of silver light, pure and beautiful aimed down at the ground, at Mor gana. She raised her arms into the air and the beam came down flowing into her . She opened her eyes; they were a brilliant silver . “What’ s happening?” Arthur asked Merlin. “It’s her magic, it has been purified and it is returning to her, ” he said. “Oh, ” Mor gana gasped as the magic settled down in her core where it belonged. “Mor gana?” Merlin smiled. “This is incredible, ” she breathed out slowly, “Merlin…” “You have your magic back, ” Arthur said. “Yes, the Goddess said that I had to have your for giveness in order to stay, but I could only have my magic back if you still have love for me, ” Mor gana said with a soft laugh. “I didn’ t think…” “You’re my sister, Mor gana. I hated what you did, but I never hated you. I think a part of me understood why you went down the path you did. Our father lied to us both. He denied you your heritage and your rightful place in the kingdom.” “The throne was never mine to claim, ” Mor gana said, “Mor gause, she poisoned me with darkness and hatred. She wanted the power she could only obtain through me. Y ou were always meant to rule, Arthur .” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur, his eyes narrowed as he studied Mor gana. She met his gaze with a genuine softness and reassurance. “You’re not her, ” he said. “Gwaine, ” Mor gana smiled, “Y ou’re alive.” “Yes, thanks to Merlin.” “I’m glad, ” she bowed, “I am so sorry for all that I did to you. I humbly beg your forgiveness.” Gwaine stared at her for a moment then shook his head, “Y ou’re not her…not the Lady Morgana I knew .” “No, Gwaine, ” Arthur smiled, “This is the Lady Mor gana that I grew up with, the one who belongs in Camelot. She’ s stubborn, bossy, a little scary, but she is kind, compassionate and she’s my sister .” “And my friend, ” Merlin smiled. Morgana turned to him, “Y ou look happy .” “I am, ” he grinned then glanced at Arthur . “I missed you, ” she said. “I missed you too, ” Merlin hugged her and then kissed her forehead. “Father!” Gavin shouted as he came tearing down the steps with Hunith right behind him. Arthur turned and smiled. “Father?” Mor gana asked. “Mor gana, this is Prince Gavin Pendragon, your nephew, ” Arthur said proudly as his son reached the bottom step and stopped. He looked up at Mor gana with a bright smile and blue eyes that could see into the soul. “Look at you, ” Mor gana cried dropping to her knees in front of him, “Y ou are beautiful.” Gavin moved closer to her reaching out to touch her cheek. “Y ou’re safe now, ” he said softly, “You don’ t have to be scared no more.” Morgana stared at him her eyes filling with tears. She shook her head unable to speak as Gavin wrapped his little arms around her neck. She held him tightly looking up at Arthur and then Merlin in utter disbelief. “Welcome home, Mor gana, ” Arthur smiled. “Gods, look at you, ” Mor gana choked back a cry of joy, kissing Gavin’ s little chubby cheek. “Let’ s go inside, ” Arthur said scooping Gavin up in his arms. Gwaine extended a hand to Mor gana. She looked at him in surprise before taking it and he helped her up. Merlin put a hand on her lower back guiding her up the steps. “Lady Mor gana, ” Hunith said as they reached her . “Hunith, ” Mor gana smiled embracing her . “That’ s the beautiful young lady I remember, welcome home.” “Thank you.” “How do you feel?” Merlin asked her as they walked down the corridor . She stopped for a moment to look around then nodded. “I feel free. And incredibly happy . There’ s something dif ferent about you, Merlin…” she said studying him, taking in his new clothes then she spotted the silver ring…Arthur ’s silver ring on his hand. “Oh, this explains a few things.” Merlin blushed, “Y es, well, Arthur and me…” Morgana’ s eyes widened, “It is about time. Y ou two…always looking longingly at each other . Everyone knew you were completely besotted with Arthur and Arthur with you. I just never imagined that he would act on his feelings. He really has changed, hasn’ t he.” “So have I, ” Merlin said. “I can see that, ” Mor gana beamed, “I am so pleased, Merlin. Y ou deserve to be happy .” “As do you, ” he said. “I’m beginning to believe that. I still feel so guilty though.” “I know…I still carry my own guilt, but we have to for give ourselves, ” Merlin smiled. “This is your second chance, Mor gana, ” Gwaine said, “Don’ t waste it dwelling on the past. If Arthur and Merlin can for give you…” Morgana turned to look at him, “But can you?” Gwaine shook his head, “It’ s strange. I don’ t see you as the same woman who tortured me on more than one occasion and then killed me. As I said, you’re not her .” “How can you not?” she asked. “Maybe if I had known you before, I would feel dif ferently . I cannot reconcile the two versions of you. Maybe that is a good thing.” “Maybe so, ” Mor gana smiled looking into his eyes. Merlin went ahead leaving the two of them alone. Gwaine took her arm slipping it through his then followed. Mor gana felt a rush of emotion that was almost overwhelming as they walked into the throne room where Arthur stood with Merlin, Gavin in his arms. Her eyes filled with tears again at the sight and she smiled. “I’m home.” Arthur sat at his desk working on a speech. He couldn’ t focus on the words because he kept looking up at the door every few minutes waiting for Merlin to appear . Where was he? The last three weeks had been insane. There were constant and ongoing discussions with his advisors and lords over the most basic kingdom business. The getting used to having Morgana in his life again and trying to figure out a way to give her back what their father had taken from her, as well as working to change the laws to allow Arthur and Merlin to marry . Then an outbreak of some sort of fever in an outlying village had kept Merlin and Hunith away for five days only to have the same sickness break out in Camelot’ s lower town while they were gone. Mor gana had done her best to take care of the patients until they returned then the three of them worked together until finally, it was under control. Arthur rubbed his eyes and dropped his quill. He slipped on his boots and headed for the door. It was late and the castle was quiet, so he didn’ t care that he was only wearing his trousers and a sleep tunic. He needed to find Merlin. Not finding him in the physician’ s chambers, Arthur headed toward the library . The door creaked when he opened it. The room was dark save for a few scattered candles. The secret room… “Merlin, ” Arthur called out as he reached the wall behind which he knew the hidden room lay. He kicked the shelf that tripped the release and it opened. “Merlin?” he said as the panel closed behind him. “Arthur, ” Merlin said, coming out from behind a high shelf lined with ancient books, “What time is it?” “It’s almost midnight, ” Arthur smiled, “Are you all right?” “Yes, sorry, I lost track of time, ” Merlin grinned. “I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me, ” Arthur said his eyes narrowing. “Never, ” Merlin shook his head, “Just a lot to catch up on since the outbreak.” “Are you sure that’ s all it is?” “I am sure. I’m sorry for neglecting you, my king.” Arthur looked around the room and nodded, “This is amazing. I had no idea so much survived my father ’s pur ge.” “Yes, well, some of the books were severely damaged and I had to repair them with magic. Some were beyond saving. The shelves are warded now, they will be protected.” “That’ s good…very good, ” Arthur said watching as Merlin stretched to put a book on the higher shelf. He smirked then stepped closer wrapping his arms around him. “It’ s very quiet in here, isn’ t it?” “Mmm, yes, ” Merlin grinned as Arthur ’s hands slid beneath his tunic splaying over his flat stomach and he felt the hard ridge of the king’ s arousal pressing against his arse. “What shall your punishment be for neglecting your king, Mer—lin?” “Oh!” Merlin gasped then let out a low moan as Arthur thrust his hips forward pressing him into the shelf, “Gods, more of that…definitely more of that.” Arthur grinned and repeated the movement and Merlin let out a sound of desperate longing. “It’s not punishment if it feels good, ” he chuckled. “Arthur, ” Merlin moaned pressing back into him, “Please…” Turning Merlin around Arthur kissed him hard and deep biting his bottom lip and thrusting his tongue into his warm wet mouth as he pressed him back against the shelf. Merlin’ s eyes were wide and dark with arousal his breath coming out in short gasps, his chest heaving. “Merlin, ” Arthur growled, rolling his hips into his, “I want you now…” Merlin nodded eagerly, unable to form words he yanked Arthur ’s tunic over his head kissing his chest, neck, and shoulder . It was the king’ s turn to moan filthily, his hips stuttering as Merlin’ s hands quickly unlaced his trousers and pushed them down to his broad muscular thighs. Arthur shoved his hand down the front of Merlin’ s trousers gripping his hard cock. “Gods, Arthur!” he gasped kissing Arthur again, their hot breath mingling as their tongues moved together . They were both completely out of their minds, needing to feel every touch, every thrust. “Merlin, ” Arthur whispered huskily pushing his trousers down and Merlin kicked them of f with his boots as Arthur lifted him of f his feet wrapping his long legs around his waist and kissing him, devouring his lips and tongue. “Magic…need magic, ” he growled and Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold. A moment later Arthur thrust into him, and Merlin cried out in utter bliss. “Arthur, yes, please…” he panted, closing his eyes, reaching up to grip the shelf with both hands, holding on for dear life as Arthur drove into him. “Arthur…don’ t stop…more!” “Merlin, you feel so good, so tight, ” Arthur kissed him. He looked into his eyes rolling his hips harder and faster . The wild look in Merlin’ s sex-addled gaze increased his arousal tenfold. “I love you, ” he breathed out thrusting up into him, their bodies trembling and drenched with sweat. “Mine, always, Merlin.” “Arthur, ” Merlin said breathlessly . “I’m close, ” Arthur whispered, kissing him, and sucking on his full bottom lip. Merlin placed one hand on his own cock stroking himself furiously as Arthur pounded into him with abandon. They shouted loudly as they came, shuddering violently . Merlin let go of his spent cock gripping the shelf as Arthur continued to thrust into him again and again until they could no longer move or form coherent thoughts. “Holy…” Arthur gasped, and Merlin huf fed a laugh. “If that is my punishment I shall have to neglect you more often.” “Such insolence, ” Arthur grinned kissing him. “I love you, ” Merlin said kissing him back. “I think we should take this to our bed.” “Perhaps you should carry me.” “So, you can kick me again, ” Arthur smirked then nipped at his bottom lip then slipped out of Merlin then set him back on his feet. “Get dressed, Mer—lin, ” he grinned then pulled up his trousers and retrieved his sleep tunic. “Yes, Sire, ” Merlin grinned. Once they were both dressed they put out all the candles and left the library walking back to Arthur ’s chambers. Passing the guards in the corridor Arthur nodded, dismissing them for the night. “You think that’ s a good idea?” Merlin asked. “I’m sleeping with the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, ” Arthur smiled raising an eyebrow, “I’m perfectly safe.” “True, ” Merlin chuckled then followed him into the room, and they closed and locked the door. He started the fire in the hearth and lit the candles while Arthur undressed. “W ould you like me to fill the tub for you?” “Merlin, you’re not my servant anymore.” “No, I know, but I don’ t mind.” Arthur looked at him and shook his head, “Y ou really miss it don’ t you.” “Being your servant, ” Merlin said then shrugged, “Y es, I guess I do.” “Tell me, Merlin, if you never became my servant…if we never had this shared destiny, what do you think your life would be like now?” Merlin sat down in the chair by the hearth and took of f his boots. He looked at Arthur, shaking his head. “My life…” he said thoughtfully, his voice catching, “I don’ t know…and I don’t want to know .” Arthur moved toward the chair crouching in front of Merlin, taking hold of his hands. “Y ou never wanted anything else for yourself? Surely you had dreams.” “Only to be loved and to be free to use my magic…to be accepted for who I am, ” he smiled, “I have that now, Arthur, and there is nothing else I want.” “Just every time I think about how much you suf fered, the pain and the loss, because of me, ” Arthur said bringing Merlin’ s hands to his lips. “I just want you to be happy .” “I am, Arthur, believe me, ” Merlin said, leaning forward to kiss him, “For the first time in my life I am not afraid. I don’ t have to skulk around in the shadows defending the kingdom anymore. And I finally have you the way I always dreamed of but never dared hope.” “Yes, you do, ” Arthur grinned then stood up, “Now, get undressed and let’ s clean up and go to bed. I am exhausted.” “Yes, My Lord, ” Merlin smiled. Three weeks later Arthur and Merlin were married in a ceremony in the clearing with the citizens of Camelot, the Druids, Kilgharrah, and even Aithusa looking on. The knights stood behind Arthur, Leon holding a beaming Gavin in his arms while Mor gana walked with Merlin who was dressed in black trousers and a fine purple silk tunic embroidered with silver thread on the collar and the cuf fs. Black shiny boots and a silver circlet on his head. Arthur smiled, his blue eyes shining with tears. Mor gana met her brother ’s gaze then she turned to Merlin smiling brightly . She cupped his cheek and nodded slightly . “You look so handsome, ” she said, “I love you, Merlin. I am so pleased that you and Arthur found your way back to each other .” “I love you too, Mor gana, ” Merlin said his eyes brimming with tears. “Arthur, you take care of him the way he always took care of you, ” Mor gana said. “I will, ” Arthur smiled reaching out for Merlin’ s hand as she moved to stand next to a tearful Hunith and Gwaine who kissed her on the forehead before taking hold of her hand. “Ready?” Arthur asked. “Yes, ” Merlin grinned taking his place in front of his king, “I love you.” “Always, ” Arthur said. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the ancient right of handfasting…” The time of Albion, born fr om Magic’ s sacrifice. The King lives, his legacy shall be the bridge between peace and magic. Emrys and the King, one soul, one heart, one destiny realized. Out of the darkness is born the light. For giveness, r edemption…faith, and love shall r eign. The bloodline unbr oken, a new r eign will triumph. Fr om the last br eath to a new awakening magic shall thrive once again. The world in balance. Life and death ar e restor ed. Long live The King…long live Magic! Giving Up The Ghost - By A-ha Chapter Summary If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Giving Up The Ghost by A-ha Icy road, blinding dark Rolling hills in the distance Open wound, a painful scar Love has left its burning trademark Off the grid, out of bounds Further down into shadow Darkest day and whitest night In harm's way We're chasing rainbows Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurts the most You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Frozen lake soon will flow Frozen ground soon to follow But hey - everything is in your head And what you killed is never dead Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost On what you loved the most On a coal-black sea, the sky's on fire Failed attempts at a funeral pyre Deep as dreams of dark desire The flames are growing ever higher You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Language: English Collections: Ficsread2022
Published: 2022-12-24 Words: 56,035 Chapters: 9/9 Giving Up The Ghost by MerlinsBrokenHeart Summary The battle of Camlann is done, Arthur is mortally wounded and dealing with the revelation that Merlin is a sorcerer . His servant has magic. The one person he trusted more than any other had betrayed him…lied to him all these years. Merlin is determined to take his king to Avalon to be healed by the Sidhe. Over the two-day journey , Arthur slowly begins to realize that Merlin is still Merlin, magic or not. The most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth… his servant, his friend, and protector . When Mor gana catches up to them before they can reach A valon, Merlin makes the ultimate sacrifice for his king leaving Arthur reeling. Defying prophecy and forever altering the fate of the king and of Camelot. Notes My tribute to Merlin in honor of the T en-Y ear Anniversary of the finale. Long Live Merlin!!!! This is the story I have always wanted to write. From the POV of Arthur , his internal dialogue and emotional struggle with Merlin’ s confession that he is a sorcerer . The actual dialogue and story pretty much follows the final episode up to the point where Mor gana catches up to them. From there it takes a drastic turn, diver ging wildly from canon, and creating a whole new ending. Enjoy and I hope you all love it as much as I do. Feedback appreciated. If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Aftermath Arthur was drowning in pitch-black darkness. His eyelids were heavy . The pain was like a lightning bolt in his side. Mordred, how could he have been so stupid to trust the boy? So, this is how it is all meant to end…with yet another betrayal by someone he cared about, someone he trusted. Arthur Pendragon...trusting fool. It seemed that his faith in others was to be his undoing. Maybe his father had been right not to depend on others…to not trust anyone. Another image penetrated the darkness, a fleeting glimpse of the old sorcerer…Dragoon? Why would the old man help him? Why would a sorcerer fight for Camelot, the kingdom that had persecuted his kind for decades? It didn’ t make any sense. The old man had killed his father and now he was carrying him from the battlefield…how in the hell was a doddery old man able to bear his weight in full armor? And why was he crying? Guinevere, his beautiful queen, at least Camelot would be in good hands. He could go to the other world knowing that. She would be a great leader and Merlin would be at her side to help her just as he had been for Arthur . His reign was done. He could die knowing the kingdom was safe. He just needed to let go. Arthur huf fed a breath and opened his eyes swallowing hard. There was a crackling fire near his feet and a familiar figure crouched on the other side of the flames. He knew that ratty brown jacket. But how did Merlin even find him? Where was the old sorcerer? “Merlin,” Arthur said, amazed that his voice still worked. “How are you feeling?” Merlin asked, immediately moving to his side as Arthur tried to sit up. “Ah, ah mmm,” Arthur grabbed Merlin as pain tore through his body . Merlin gripped Arthur ’s forearm where it lay against his shoulder , desperate to keep that connection to his king. “Lie back…lie back,” he said, his voice thick with worry . “Where have you been?” “It doesn't matter now .” “Ah, my side…my side,” Arthur said his head fell back, face twisting in pain. “You are bleeding,” Merlin glanced down at the wound. “That's all right. I thought I was dying,” Arthur said every breath a struggle. Merlin looked at him again his blue eyes shining with tears, his face etched with worry . “I'm sorry . I thought I'd defied the prophecy . I thought I was in time.” “What are you talking about?” “I defeated the Saxons. The dragon. And yet...and yet I knew it was Mordred that I must stop,” Merlin said. Arthur patted Merlin’ s shoulder squeezing gently as his eyes widened, a slight smile on his face, “The person who defeated them was the sorcerer .” “It was me,” Merlin said fretfully , grasping Arthur's wrist as tears pooled in his eyes. “Don't be ridiculous, Merlin,” Arthur said, shaking his head slightly , “This is stupid, why would you say that?” He stared at him, struggling to grasp what Merlin was trying to say . “I'm a...” Merlin’ s voice faltered, tears sliding down his face as he struggled to find the words he had imagined saying to Arthur so many times. “I'm a sorcerer . I have magic. And I use it for you, Arthur . Only for you,” he spoke with a quiet ur gency . “Merlin, you are not a sorcerer . I would know!” “Look…here,” Merlin held out his hand, palm facing up, and uttered words that Arthur did not understand. Suddenly a familiar glowing orb of light formed, and Arthur's eyes widened in surprise as he remembered…all those years ago. He remembered that light. Arthur looked at Merlin as the truth seared his pain-addled mind. No, no, no, not Merlin… not the one person he trusted more than any other . Magic…Merlin had magic…it was not true…it couldn’ t be true. This was wrong…just wrong. Arthur wanted to run away , to put as much distance between himself and this person he thought he knew , but his body refused to cooperate. T urning his head, he looked for a way to escape knowing full well there was none...not from this. “Leave me,” Arthur breathed, his eyes wide with fear and pain, his mouth turned down in a deep frown, body trembling with cold and fear . “Arthur ,” Merlin said, his voice pleading for him to understand. “No, just...you heard. Just...” Arthur said his voice filled with desperation, sadness, and a bone-deep feeling of betrayal that dwarfed anything he had felt with Mor gana…worse even than when he had caught Guinevere and Lancelot together . He glanced back to see that Merlin had reluctantly moved away , putting distance between them. The anguish in his eyes was almost too much for Arthur to bear , but he could not bring himself to call him back. Arthur awoke to the sound of footsteps approaching, for a moment he felt panic, but then he had Merlin to protect him. Merlin…his liar of a servant. He could still scarcely believe it. Merlin…a sorcerer…a goddamn sorcerer . But then he always knew there was something about him. And hadn’ t Merlin all but admitted it that day in the council chambers? Admitted to being the one who healed Gwen’ s father . And yet Arthur had made fun of him, convinced everyone that he was a fool in love with Gwen. T urns out that, yet again, it was Arthur who was the fool. Keeping his eyes closed, Arthur listened to Gaius and Merlin saying something about Saxons, Comfrey , and Sticklewort whatever the hell that was. “Merlin, why don’ t you water the horses? And make sure they are fed, we can’ t hide here for much longer ,” Gaius said. Arthur waited until Merlin had walked away and then opened his eyes. He reached for Gaius, grabbing hold of his robe. “He’ s a sorcerer!” he said, and the older man just looked at him. “Y ou knew .” Of course, he knew , Arthur , you idiot. The man took Merlin in and cared for him. “Arthur , he is your friend,” Gaius said. “I want him gone.” “There is no need to fear him.” “Have him take word to Camelot. T o Guinevere.” “You cannot send Merlin. I will go.” “I need a physician right now , not a sorcerer .” “He can do far more than me, far more than you can ever imagine. Arthur , he doesn’ t just have magic…there are those who say he is the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth.” “Merlin?” Arthur said completely befuddled. Then he remembered what Gaius has told him after Mor gana kidnapped him. One day you will learn, Arthur . One day you will understand...just how much they've done for you . Merlin…Gaius had been talking about Merlin. One day he would understand just how much Merlin had done for him. Then he remembered what The Dolma said that day at the Cauldron of Arianrhod. One day , great King, you will r ecognize the true worth of those that surr ound you. Merlin was missing because she was Merlin. Merlin saved Gwen…it was his magic. Arthur felt shame and sadness begin to eclipse his anger . “If you are to stand any chance of survival, you'll need Merlin to help you, not me,” Gaius said, and Arthur turned his head to look in the direction Merlin had gone while the older man finished examining his wound. “Arthur , there is a fragment of sword embedded in your chest. It is not an ordinary blade. Y ou must trust Merlin.” “Trust Merlin,” Arthur huf fed a laugh rolling his eyes, “I’ll never trust him again.” “Merlin has always believed in you, Arthur…please believe in him…have faith in him. I always have,” Gaius said. “Arthur , there is little choice. Y our only hope for survival is the Lake of A valon and the Sidhe. For only their magic can save you.” “The Sidhe…magical beings are going to be willing to heal me?” “I cannot say for certain, but there is no other option.” “Very well,” Arthur said reluctantly , “I will allow him to take me to the Lake of A valon, but after everything…all the betrayals…this one hurts the most. Merlin…” “Arthur , Merlin did not betray you. He wanted to tell you the truth so many times. If anyone is to blame it is me. It was I who told him to keep his magic a secret.” “He could have told me after my father died…Merlin killed my father .” “You’re wrong, Arthur ,” Gaius said forcefully , “Merlin did not kill the king. He tried to heal him, but Mor gana had Agravaine put a necklace around his neck that reversed any healing magic tenfold. In trying to save Uther…” “Merlin killed him…” “I only discovered the necklace after , and it was too late to do anything. Merlin was devastated. He was so afraid that he had turned you against magic forever . That you would never know him for who he truly is. That is all he has ever wanted, Sire, to be accepted by you.” “This is too much,” Arthur said, “Leave me, please.” “I am truly sorry , Arthur ,” Gaius said then he got up and went of f to talk to Merlin leaving Arthur to deal with his jumbled emotions. The pain in his side had faded somewhat, due to whatever Gaius had given him, leaving him with little distraction from the internal turmoil. Merlin…his idiot servant and friend…had magic. All this time he kept his secret. Made a fool out of Arthur and for what? What was his goal? What did he want from him? “Arthur ,” Merlin said apprehensively , and Arthur turned his head to look at him. “W e need to leave at first light.” “I’ll decide,” Arthur said quietly . “I can't let you die.” “It doesn't change anything,” Arthur replied then turned his head closing his eyes. He listened as Merlin walked away . His eyes burning with unshed tears, he heard Gaius speaking to Merlin. “Let him sleep. It's late. Y ou cannot travel tonight,” Gaius said, “Y ou were right to tell him.” Arthur feels another punch to his gut. Merlin was right to tell him…he was wrong to have kept his damn magic a secret all these years. And Gaius…he lied to protect Merlin. He risked his life keeping the truth from Uther Pendragon. Arthur winced as a sharp pain radiated upward from his wound. Could he really trust Merlin to take him to some magical place? T o allow some magical beings to heal him? Merlin was there for him after his father died. Merlin was always there for him, by his side through thick and thin. Loyal, brave, and strong, and yet he was a liar . I didn't want you to feel that you wer e alone. Dammit, Merlin. How could you do this to me? Arthur grimaced as he tried to shift his position only to give up when the pain became too much to bear . “Stupid foolish idiot,” he muttered under his breath, not sure if he was speaking of Merlin or of himself…maybe both. The rustle of the wind through the trees, the crickets chirping, the sound and smell of the campfire. Arthur looked up at the sky and remembered a night not long ago when he and Merlin had camped out alone in the woods near the cave of The Disir . Everything her e... is so full of life. Every tr ee, every leaf. Every insect. It's as if the world is vibrating. As if everything is much mor e than itself. Merlin felt all that when Arthur could not because Merlin had magic. Why then did he tell Arthur that there could be no place for magic in Camelot? W ouldn’ t he want magic to be free? For him to be free? Mordred…Merlin wanted to stop Mordred. He knew…the prophecy…Mordred was destined to kill him. That explained the constant tension between his servant and the young knight. And why Merlin was so upset that Arthur did not kill Mordred when he had a chance to do so. Arthur ’s head hurt from thinking. His side hurt. His heart hurt. The more pieces that fell into place in the complex riddle that was his servant, the more he wanted to punch something. The clearer things became, the more he wanted to scream. He almost wished he had died on the battlefield rather than having to deal with all this. He didn’ t want to deal with this. Mercifully , he managed to drift of f to sleep at some point during the night. Arthur awoke at dawn to Merlin stomping out what remained of the fire. He groaned, moving his head, his eyes heavy with sleep. The constant pain in his side forced his mind to focus on something other than Merlin. “Arthur , we have to go now ,” Merlin said softly , crouching next to him, “Please, trust me.” “You want me to trust you?” Arthur scof fed. “Please, Arthur . When we get back to Camelot, I will take whatever punishment you choose…I don’ t care. Just let me take you to A valon.” “And if I were to order you to be burned on the pyre?” Arthur asked, staring at him fixedly . Merlin’ s shoulders lifted, his expression stoic, determined, “If that is what you decide, then I will accept it…I’ll even save you the trouble and light the fire myself.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, you idiot. As if I could ever watch you die.” Merlin gave him a half smile and then helped him up of f the ground, with dif ficulty , but he managed to get him to the horse and maneuvered him into the saddle helping him to sit upright. Arthur reached up dragging a leather cord over his head. “Gaius,” Arthur called out and the old physician approached, “Give this to Guinevere.” “It's the Royal Seal, sire,” Gaius said as Arthur placed it in his open palm “If I am to die, I can think of no one who I would rather succeed me.” Gaius covered his hand with his own and nodded before he walked toward Merlin. “You know he was betrayed. The girl, Eira cannot be trusted,” Merlin said in warning. “I know .” “How long does he have?” Merlin asked trying to keep his voice down, but Arthur heard him anyway . “At best, two days.” Merlin nodded then walked past Gaius toward Arthur . “Merlin,” Gaius said, and he stopped turning back to face the older man. Gaius hugged him tightly , “I'll have your favorite meal waiting for you. Now go. Look after him. Go.” Merlin stepped between the two horses gathering up the reins as Arthur glanced down at Gaius. Merlin then led them away turning to look back at his mentor a look of dread in his blue eyes. They traveled in silence, Arthur hated the silence, but neither did he want to talk. He felt the wariness and fear emanating from Merlin, his head constantly on a swivel, eyes wide and vigilant. Why was he doing this? Why did he care so much? If he truly was the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, he didn’ t need Arthur . He had never once asked for anything. He could have used his magic to get whatever he wanted, but he did not. Why? Crossing the plains, the weather was gloomy , the wind biting. Arthur sat hunched over the saddle shivering beneath his armor . Merlin looked back seeing two men riding quickly toward them. “Saxons!” he stopped his horse and dismounted. Scrambling to grab the rolled blanket from behind his saddle, he unfolded and draped it over Arthur . “I'll deal with them. Keep your head down. Don't speak.” Arthur grabbed the edges of the blanket pulling it tighter around him to hide his face as Merlin stepped away looking down into the wooded valley below . A puf f of smoke suddenly rose from the trees below . It reminded Arthur of a time long ago when the woman witnessed the horse in the smoke. He closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath that Merlin did not hear . “Help us!” Merlin called out waving both arms in the air at the approaching riders, “Please you have to help us. W e were ambushed.” The Saxons dismount and walk toward him. “By whom?” one of them asked. “These two men,” Merlin said. “What did they look like?” “Um...one was...a knight.” Merlin glanced back at Arthur seeing the exposed hilt of Arthur ’s sword. “They stormed our camp,” he said pointing toward the smoke to distract the Saxons while he hurried to cover it with the blanket before they turned around. “You're sure it was a Camelot knight?” “Yeah.” The Saxon pushed Merlin back as he stepped forward then yanked the blanket of f Arthur . Both men drew their swords. Arthur watched as Merlin’ s arms came up, hands outstretched and both men screamed as they were thrown violently backward. “You've lied to me all this time.” Merlin said nothing, he just turned, retrieved the blanket, and got back in the saddle. Arthur gripped the reins with one hand ur ging his horse to follow . His chest hurt even more from the shock of seeing Merlin use magic so openly . The display of his immense power only serving to fortify the sense of betrayal. They rode until dark, then Merlin helped Arthur of f his horse and down onto his bedroll which he had placed near the base of a tree so that his upper body was slightly elevated to keep the pressure of f his wound. Arthur watched as he gathered wood. After several minutes of failed attempts to start a fire with flints, Arthur huf fed a breath. “Why don’ t you use magic?” Arthur asked. “Habit, I suppose,” Merlin said, looking at him questioningly . Arthur nodded then watched as his servant’ s eyes turned gold and the wood burst into flame. “Feels strange.” “Yeah,” Arthur said flatly , eyeing Merlin as he stood and went to grab his own bedroll. “I thought I knew you.” Merlin met his gaze, “I’m still the same person.” “I trusted you.” “I'm sorry ,” Merlin said, his eyes flickering with sadness, regret, and something else Arthur could not decipher . “I'm sorry too.” Merlin looked at Arthur then got up, moving toward him, and proceeded to remove his boots. “What are you doing?” “They need drying,” Merlin said positioning the boots near the fire just as he had done countless times in the past then returned to his bedroll. “This will be good for you. Y ou need to eat,” Merlin said, supporting Arthur ’s head as he tried to get him to eat. “Why are you doing this?” Arthur asked and Merlin placed the spoon back in the bowl. “Why are you still behaving like a servant?” Merlin sat the bowl down on the ground. “It's my destiny . As it has been since the day we met,” he said giving his king a slight smile. “I tried to take your head of f with a mace.” “And I stopped you, using magic.” “You cheated!” “You were going to kill me,” Merlin shrugged. “I should've.” “I'm glad you didn't. I do this because of who you are. W ithout you, Camelot's nothing.” “There was a time when that was true. Not now . There are many who can fill the crown.” “There will never be another like you, Arthur . I also do this...” Merlin rested the bowl on his knee, supporting Arthur's head as he got him to take a bite of the soup, “Because you're my friend and I don't want to lose you.” Arthur could feel himself weakening. It was all he could do to remain upright on the bent tree he was sitting on while Merlin prepared the horses. Pulling a waterskin from his saddlebag, Merlin turned just in time to see Arthur slump over and hurried to his side to catch him before he fell. “Arthur , you need to hold on. One more day. One more day ,” he said as he wiped Arthur's head with a cloth. He then put the cloth down and removed the top from the waterskin. “Why did you never tell me?” Arthur asked. “I wanted to, but...” “What?” “You'd have chopped my head of f,” Merlin said then gave Arthur a drink of water . “I'm not sure what I would've done.” “And I didn't want to put you in that position.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “That's what worried you?” “Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me…I was born to serve you, Arthur . And I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't change a thing,” Merlin said then he looked at Arthur , “Ready?” Arthur nodded then Merlin helped him to stand, and they moved toward the horses. Merlin was leading the way when he suddenly stopped and held up his hand. Arthur stopped as they both saw the smoke from a campfire through the trees just ahead. “Saxons?” Arthur asked, then watched as Merlin clearly did something. His shoulders visibly relaxed a moment later . “They're long gone.” “How do you know?” “I can see the path ahead,” Merlin said, and Arthur immediately remembered the impenetrable forest and how Merlin got them through it and to the Dark T ower to rescue Guinevere. “So, you're not an idiot. That was another lie.” “No, it’ s just another part of my charm,” Merlin grinned then nudged his horse forward and Arthur followed. It wasn’ t long before they both heard riders and men approaching from the other direction. Merlin held his hand up and looked around then nodded to their right. “In there,” he said, and they rode of f the path and up an incline into a stand of trees. Arthur stood with his back against the tree for support while Merlin watched the approaching riders. He moved around the tree realizing that their tracks would be seen. “ Andslyht !” he said and out of nowhere a breeze picked up the leaves, covering over their trail. The Saxons stopped and looked around. Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold making the bushes across the trail rustle. “This way ,” one of the men shouted and they moved of f in the other direction. “You've done this before,” Arthur said, remembering the wind in Ealdor as Merlin turned to look at him. “All these years, Merlin…you never once sought any credit.” “It's not why I do it,” Merlin said, “Come on.” He then draped Arthur ’s arm over his shoulders and helped him back to their horses. They hadn’ t gone far when Merlin looked back to see Arthur slumped over the side of his horse. “Arthur!” Merlin immediately dismounted and went to his side helping him to sit upright. “I can't go on.” “There's not far to go. W e need to reach the lake before dawn.” “No, Merlin. No.” “All right. W e rest for an hour .” It didn’ t take long for Merlin to get a fire going. He glanced over at Arthur where he sat on the ground leaning back against a dead tree. He moved to sit on the log and gave him a drink of water . Arthur looked up at Merlin. “Merlin, whatever happens...” “Shh...don't talk.” “I'm the King, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do,” Arthur said with just a glimmer of amusement in his pain-filled eyes in an echo of their familiar banter . “I always have. I'm not going to change now .” “I don't want you to change. I want you...to always...be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you.” “Does that mean you're gonna give me a day of f?” “Two,” Arthur said. “That's generous,” Merlin said then as Arthur's head lolled and fell forward, he checked his pulse. “Get some sleep,” he whispered then looked around warily silently praying. Merlin had a very bad feeling as he looked up at the moon. He went to Arthur ’s side, shaking him gently . “W e need to get moving,” Arthur barely opened his eyes, and Merlin shook him again. “Arthur . We've wasted enough time.” The sun was just coming up when they stop to rest again. Merlin helped Arthur of f the horse and lowered him down to the ground up against a rock. He nodded toward the view of the lake below . “Avalon. W e'll get there,” Merlin said and a moment later the horses whinnied and spooked taking of f. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he shouted but they were gone. “Hello, Emrys,” Mor gana’ s voice came from behind him, and he turned around. Mor gana’ s eyes flash and he was thrown across the clearing. Arthur instinctively reached for his sword, but it was not there. Mor gana approached him like a predator stalking her prey . “What a joy it is to see you, Arthur . Look at you…not so tall and mighty now ,” she gave him a smug smile, “Y ou may have won the battle, but you've lost the war . You're going to die by Mordred's hand. But don't worry , my dear brother , I won't let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you until the wolves gor ge on your carcass and bathe in your blood.” “No, the time for all this bloodshed is over ,” Merlin said, and Mor gana spun around standing to face him. “I blame myself for what you've become...but this has to end.” “Please, as if you can stop me, Merlin. Besides, it is too late,” Mor gana smiled, “Arthur is dying. Y our beloved king cannot be saved no matter what you do to me.” “No!” Merlin said, his eyes darkening with rage and desperation. “Poor Emrys…with all your magic, you have still failed Arthur…failed Camelot.” Mor gana glared at him, her voice sharp as a blade, “Y our decisions brought us here. Y ou chose to sacrifice everyone else for the man you love.” Mor gana relaxed her shoulders and let out a sigh, “Ironic isn’ t it…that your obsession with protecting my brother will end in his death despite all you have done to prevent it. Merlin met Arthur ’s pained gaze as the king shook his head. “Merlin—Merlin don’ t listen to her…Mor gana is wrong,” Arthur said pleadingly , and Merlin gave him a ghost of a smile. “No, she’ s right,” Merlin smiled sadly , and Arthur ’s eyes went wide, “I love you, Arthur . I cannot let you die…” “Merlin!” Arthur shouted. He watched Merlin’ s eyes turn bright gold as he lunged forward wrapping a startled Mor gana in his embrace. T ilting his head back, he uttered a spell that had her screaming at the top of her lungs as they were trapped in a swirling wind. “Merlin, no!” Arthur tried to get to his feet, but he was too weak. He could only watch in horror as the vortex became a twisted, writhing form of darkness and light…ripping what could only be magic from their very souls creating a wave of power that rolled outward from their cores. A wave that washed over the land and hit Arthur full force then everything went black… Destiny Be Damned “My Lord,” Arthur struggled to open his eyes as he heard a familiar voice. “Arthur…you’re alive, Merlin saved you,” Percival said his huge hands trembling as he gently shook the king. “Merlin,” Arthur said softly , “Merlin!” he shouted gripping Percival’ s arm. “Where is he?” he asked trying to see past his knight, but Percival was using his body to keep Arthur from seeing the aftermath of whatever Merlin had done to save him. “Let me up…let me go!” “Sire, don’ t…Arthur , he’s—he’ s gone,” Percival choked on the words, “They are both gone.” “No!” Arthur said shoving the knight aside with surprising strength considering he had been on the ver ge of death. He pushed himself up of f the ground. Stumbling forward, he landed on his knees next to Merlin’ s motionless body . “Merlin, no, you cannot leave me. I was meant to die, not you. Dammit…Merlin,” he shouted, dragging his friend into his arms and cradling him. “Merlin—Merlin please…come on. I need you!” Arthur pressed his fingers to Merlin’ s neck praying he would find a heartbeat but there was nothing. He pressed their foreheads together . A deep, guttural cry of grief came out of him startling Percival who hovered nearby uncertain of what to do for his king. “Merlin!” Arthur shouted shaking him, “Y ou idiot…why did you do this? Y ou did not have to die for me, I never wanted this. I am so sorry…so sorry , Merlin. I love you too…I never told you. I should have told you.” Percival swiped at his tears with the back of his hand, stunned by the king’ s words to Merlin. Everyone had known there was a unique and powerful bond between Arthur and Merlin, but to hear Arthur express it in such a way was heart-wrenching. Arthur held Merlin, rocking him gently , his hand splayed wide across his chest. He shook his head tears streaming down his face. He spared a glance at Mor gana, his dead sister , and realized that he felt no anger only sadness and regret. He had let her down, failed her in every way imaginable. He failed her and he had failed Merlin. “I’m sorry—so sorry ,” Arthur choked drawing Merlin against him. He got his feet underneath him and stood up, lifting Merlin from the ground. Percival stepped forward to help him, but the king shook his head. “No,” Arthur said then carried Merlin toward the lake. “Your Highness,” Percival said, “Y ou cannot carry him…it’ s too far .” “I must get Merlin to A valon, the Sidhe will heal him…bring him back to me,” Arthur said, his voice edged with determination. “I cannot lose him.” “Sire, look!” Percival said pointing up into the sky . Arthur looked up as the Great Dragon soared overhead. “My sword!” he bellowed as he gently lowered Merlin to the ground. The dragon circled once then landed in front of them his eyes focused on Merlin and only Merlin. “Merlin?” the dragon said, startling Arthur and Percival. “You can speak?” Arthur asked. “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon rumbled. “What do you want? What business do you have here?” “Merlin…he is dead.” “He—he gave his life for me. I do not know what he did. Mor gana…” “The witch is dead,” the dragon growled. “Yes, magic…” The dragon bowed his head. “Y oung W arlock, I never meant for this…” he said, “This was not your destiny , Merlin.” Arthur stared at the massive creature and for some reason, he felt no fear . There was obviously something…a bond between him and Merlin that he clearly did not understand and at the moment he did not want to know . “Can you help him?” Arthur asked, desperation in his voice. “I cannot…perhaps if he still had his magic, but it is gone. His immortality is gone.” “Immortality?” Arthur asked, his mouth dropping open, “Y ou’re saying he was meant to live forever , and he gave it all up for me?” “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon said, “Y ou were meant to die, and Merlin was meant to live on, waiting for your return when Albion needed you most.” Arthur dropped to his knees next to Merlin and caressed his cheek. “Merlin, dammit,” he choked on his breath and tears slid down his face again. “Y ou weren’ t supposed to die for me.” “There is nothing you can do, Great King,” the dragon said, “Merlin is gone.” “What was that? What did he do?” Arthur asked. “The spell Merlin used to destroy the witch, it separated them both from their magic forcing it from their souls and casting it out over the land. It healed you, healed me…I was dying. It is why I was unable to come when Merlin called me.” “Called you?” Percival asked the question before Arthur could get it out. “Merlin is—was the last of his kind…the last of the Dragonlords. Like his father before him.” “His father? Balinor was Merlin’ s father?” Arthur asked, his eyes wide. “Yes, Arthur ,” the dragon said, “His gift was passed down to Merlin when he died.” Arthur looked at Merlin, “So many secrets…such a heavy burden he carried. And for what?” “For you, King Arthur .” “This cannot be. I cannot lose him…he’ s my friend!” “And yet it is done. Merlin made his choice. He chose to die for you.” “I did not ask for this. I would never…please, there must be someone who can bring him back.” “I am sorry , there is nothing that can be done. His magic is gone from his body .” Arthur lifted Merlin from the ground and looked up at the dragon. “If I can get him to Avalon, the Sidhe could heal him.” The dragon shook his head, “The Sidhe are powerful, but even they cannot bring Merlin back. I am truly sorry , Arthur . Merlin is gone. W ithout his magic…” “Then bring it back!” Arthur shouted. “It has been returned to where it came from.” “Where is that?” “The earth…the sky…the sea,” the dragon said, “Merlin was born with magic…he was magic. W ithout it, he cannot exist.” Arthur struggled to hold on to Merlin’ s body refusing Percival’ s continued attempts to help. He looked up at the dragon. “I am supposed to just let him go?” he asked. “I am afraid you have no other choice.” Arthur dropped to his knees again holding Merlin in his arms. His hands trembling. He shook his head slowly then pressed his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender kiss. He choked back a sob and gathered Merlin close. “Gods, I am so sorry , Merlin…please for give me,” he gasped. “For give me…” he cried out, gently shaking his friend’ s lifeless body . The sound of an approaching rider had Percival drawing his sword. He crept slowly back in the direction they had come thinking it could be one of Mor gana’ s Saxons. Instead, a figure emer ged from the woods and stopped cold as he saw them. “Arthur!” Gwaine exclaimed and Percival nearly dropped his sword in shock, “Arthur , thank the Gods you’re alive.” “Gwaine, you were…you were dead,” Percival stuttered. “Yes, and then I wasn’ t,” Gwaine grinned, but as he came closer , he saw who Arthur was holding in his arms. “Merlin…Merlin, no, no, no,” he choked stumbling forward and dropping to his knees beside his best friends. “What—what happened?” he asked. “Merlin…” Arthur choked, unable to get the words out. “Merlin’ s magic was released,” the dragon responded instead, and Gwaine barely looked at him, “It healed me and apparently brought you back to life, Sir Gwaine.” “Dammit, Merlin, I knew it…I knew you were special,” Gwaine said, his shoulders vibrating as tears pooled in his eyes, “Y ou cannot be dead.” “It’s all my fault,” Arthur whispered shaking his head. “Mor gana?” Gwaine asked. “Dead,” Percival said. “Merlin killed her , and he destroyed himself in the process. For me.” He smiled sadly as he tenderly stroked Merlin’ s face then smoothed his dark hair . “I will honor you, Merlin. I will be the king you saw in me all along…I will do it for you…” He closed his eyes tightly against the tears and shook his head. “Merlin…” he sobbed and Gwaine reached over to place a comforting hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “Arthur ,” Percival said, “Should we take Merlin home now?” Arthur looked up at him then the dragon and shook his head. “No, Merlin is magic. I will not see him burn on a funeral pyre in the square. W e will take him to the lake. Something deep inside me says that is where he belongs.” “Gwaine and I will round up the horses and take you there,” Percival nodded then he and Gwaine headed back into the woods. “You are right, Arthur ,” the dragon said, “A valon is where Merlin belongs.” “You said there was a prophecy that I would return, and he would be waiting for me.” “That is true.” “Then it is possible he could return as I would have. I will wait for him,” Arthur said, his eyes filled with intense emotion. “Arthur…” the dragon shook his head. “I will wait for him!” “Very well, Great King.” Arthur looked at Merlin again and nodded, “I will wait for you, Merlin. As long as it takes.” The sky was a blazing fire, the sun was setting over the Lake of A valon as Merlin’ s body was laid out on a bed of reeds, greenery , and flowers in a wooden boat. Arthur stood on the shore with his sword in hand, the sword Merlin had made for him. For ged in a dragon’ s breath… Kilgharrah told him the truth about its creation and its purpose. Merlin had given him the sword when he needed it most, helped him to find his confidence again…to believe in himself when all things seemed hopeless. He held it reverently , the blade glowing in the light of the sunset. “Arthur ,” Gwaine said, looking at him intently , “Ready?” Arthur approached the boat and looked down at Merlin, “I will see you again, Merlin.” He brushed his hand along the side of his face then leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s. He stepped back and after Gwaine and Percival said their goodbyes, they pushed the boat of f the shore then the three of them watched it drift out on the current. The Great Dragon flew overhead swooping down to set the boat on fire and Arthur ’s stood there watching it burn, feeling like his heart was shattered. Not even the pull of Camelot and the longing to see Guinevere again could make him leave that spot at that moment. His Merlin was gone…the other half of his soul. He felt the pang of regret and loss, but more than that he longed to be able to tell Merlin what he truly meant to him. No one would ever be able to fill the void he left behind. Percival and Gwaine were reluctant to leave him alone, but finally walked back to their camp and the warmth of the fire, and Arthur was left to his grief watching the boat burn and vanish beneath the water ’s surface. “Arthur ,” a woman’ s voice called out, seeming to come from the lake, “Arthur , do not worry . I shall watch over him for he was my love as well.” “Who are you?” he asked. “I am Freya, Arthur , Merlin saved me, he loved me, and he loved you, My King.” Arthur smiled, his eyes shining in the waning light. “T ell him…” he said his voice breaking. “He knows, Arthur…he has always known.” “Thank you.” “Live well and honor his sacrifice, Arthur .” “I will, I swear ,” he nodded, “Freya, will he ever return?” “That I do not know ,” she said. “Of course,” Arthur said softly then slowly turned and walked toward the camp. His wound may have been healed, but he still felt like he had a gaping hole in the middle of his chest. A hole that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Gwaine looked up at him as he approached, and Arthur could see the haunted look in his eyes. He had died and come back and his best friend who brought him back was dead. They would never get over the loss of Merlin. No one in Camelot would. “I’m not even going to ask if you’re all right,” Gwaine said as Arthur sat down across the fire from him. “I know you’re not because I’m definitely not, and Merlin…” his voice trailed of f as tears pooled in his eyes and he ran a hand through his long hair . Arthur gave him a sad smile and nodded, “One thing…when I went to the Perilous Lands, the man on the bridge called me Courage and said that in order to complete my quest I would need Strength and Magic…now I know what he meant. I needed you and Merlin…Strength and Magic.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh and nodded wiping the tears from his eyes. “Part of me wishes I was still dead…I would gladly die so Merlin could live.” “No, Gwaine…” Percival said softly . “Merlin would want you to live,” Arthur said as he added wood to the fire. “The selfless idiot,” Gwaine shook his head his lips parting in a fond smile. “Gwaine, you took Merlin somewhere…before the battle,” Arthur said and Gwaine nodded. “Yes, he was searching for something. I knew something was wrong. W e went to the V alley of the Fallen Kings, to a cave. Along the way , we were attacked by bandits, and Merlin was knocked to the ground. He cried out for me, his voice filled with such fear…I had never seen him so afraid, so uncertain.” “A cave?” Percival asked, “Y ou mean the Crystal Cave…” “You know of it?” “Only the stories. It was said that the place was magical…actually the birthplace of all magic.” “Why did Merlin go there?” Arthur asked. “He must have been looking for magic,” Gwaine said, “The panic he felt when the bandits attacked, he must have lost his magic and needed to get it back before he could join you at Camlann, Arthur . It is the only thing that makes sense. I asked him how he would get back to Camelot without me to protect him, he told me that if he found what he was looking for , he would be perfectly safe.” “Gods, I was such a fool,” Arthur shook his head, “Before he left, he told me that he had vital supplies to obtain for Gaius…I didn’ t believe him.” Running his fingers through his hair he let out a pained sound. “I all but called him a coward…all because he would not be coming with me. I was so stupid. I should have known…” “You can’ t blame yourself, Arthur ,” Gwaine said. “The look in his eyes…I really hurt him. I should have realized he was in trouble, but I was too focused on my own selfish needs.” “Why didn’ t he just tell us?” Gwaine asked shaking his head, “W e were his best friends. W e would have protected him.” “I asked him that,” Arthur said, “And he told me he was afraid that I would chop of f his head. That he never wanted to put me in a position to have to choose between Camelot’ s laws and him. T o be forced to lie to my father for him.” “You would have done so gladly ,” Percival frowned, “Y ou would never have let any harm come to him.” “It is my fault for not telling him what he meant to me.” “You should have knighted him,” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “Sir Merlin,” Percival huf fed a laugh. Gwaine fell silent staring into the flames. Arthur poked at the fire with a stick. Merlin’ s constant prattle used to fill the silence. Now , it was just silence…an overwhelming, dark, and cold silence. The king closed his eyes reaching into his memories for moments to fill the void. He chuckled softly and shook his head. “Merlin,” Arthur said, tears glinting in his eyes even as he was overcome with mirth. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, fearing his friend was crossing the line into madness. “Merlin…the old sorcerer was Merlin. I just remembered when he was captured and brought in front of my father . He called him a stupid arrogant old tyrant right to his face. He saved Guinevere from the pyre, almost getting himself burned at the stake instead, and the entire time I thought he was in the tavern.” Gwaine chuckled, “Y ou know he was rarely ever in the tavern.” “I realize that now . All the times I thought he was drinking himself stupid he was using magic to save me and Camelot.” Percival returned then, having gone to gather more wood. He dropped it on the ground and sat down. “Y ou’re telling me, that old sorcerer in the battle was Merlin?” he asked. “Yes, Dragoon, he was Merlin…and the Dolma,” Arthur laughed. “The Dolma?” Gwaine asked. “The sorceress at the Cauldron of Arianrhod where we took Guinevere to free her of Morgana’ s dark magic. Merlin could not use his magic in front of me and he could not be Dragoon for obvious reasons, so he became an old woman.” “Merlin turned himself into a woman?” Percival asked raising an eyebrow . “Not sure if he actually was a woman or just looked like one, but he was convincing,” Arthur smiled, “No wonder The Dolma got upset when we nearly for got Merlin.” “You for got him,” Gwaine said. “Not exactly , well yes, but in my own defense, my mind was on Guinevere and getting her back to Camelot. I came so close to losing her . Merlin knew even before I did that something was wrong with her . He always knew .” “Because he was a servant,” Percival said. “Servants are invisible, they see things that others miss,” Gwaine shrugged. “That and he knew Guinevere well, she was his first friend in Camelot,” Arthur shook his head. “So many things make sense now that didn’ t before. How did I not realize that he had magic?” “I knew there was something about him. I even remember the man at the bridge calling him Magic, but I didn’ t put it all together until now ,” Gwaine frowned. “How many times?” Percival asked, “How many times did Merlin save you?” “I don’ t know ,” Arthur said then tossed his stick on the fire, “I guess now I’ll never know .” “I can’ t wait to get back to Camelot and drink myself into oblivion,” Gwaine said. “Yeah,” Percival nodded. “Gaius,” Arthur shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes tightly , “How am I going to tell Gaius…Merlin was like a son to him. He is going to be devastated.” “I will tell him,” Gwaine said. “No, it is my responsibility . I will tell him. Gods…Hunith…” “Merlin’ s mother . I could go to Ealdor , Arthur ,” Gwaine said. “This is going to kill her . Merlin was her entire world,” Arthur dropped his head into his hands. “We will return to Camelot with you, Sire, then Gwaine and I can go to Ealdor to inform her.” Arthur ’s shoulders vibrated as a desperate and anguished cry slipped out before he could stop it. He brought his arms up hands clasped behind his neck as the dam broke and he came apart at the seams unable to stop the deluge. Gwaine got to his feet and moved to Arthur ’s side, “Arthur , it’s all right…just let it out.” Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions under control. “I can’ t—can’ t do this. I am the king…I should be stronger ,” he said as he rocked forward closing his eyes tightly . Gwaine wrapped his arm around Arthur ’s neck patting his chest. “You loved Merlin, Arthur , no one can expect you to hold all this in and not lose it. Better to let it out now when it is just us, yeah?” Arthur leaned into Gwaine, “I need him back…I want Merlin back.” “I know ,” Gwaine said meeting Percival’ s gaze, “W e will find a way to get through this.” “Drunken stupor?” Arthur asked. “If that’ s what it takes,” Percival said, and Arthur attempted a smile. “He wasn’ t supposed to die…not for me…not like this.” “Merlin would have done anything for you, Arthur . You know that. Knowing now that he had magic, I am certain it was him that night in the square. He escaped from the dungeon and used magic to extinguish all the flames so he could slip by us in the darkness and get to you when you were dying from the poison. There is no other explanation. Merlin saved you that night then somehow made his way back to his cell without us noticing.” “I gave all the credit to Gaius,” Arthur said rolling his eyes, “Gods, Merlin…” “The point is, Merlin would always choose death if it meant that you would live on to fulfill your destiny . He saw a chance and took it.” “Mor gana…she was my sister and yet I feel nothing for her .” “After all she did to you and your people, it is understandable,” Percival said. “Merlin said he blamed himself for what she had become. Mor gana told him it was his decisions that brought us here…he had been so focused on protecting me that he brought about the very thing he was trying to prevent. When he and I went to the Disir , Merlin betrayed his own heart. He said I should not allow magic back in Camelot believing that Mordred would die. He wanted him to die because he knew he was destined to kill me.” “That is the way with prophecy ,” Percival said, “Just because it is foretold does not mean it will come to be.” “Mordred lived and Merlin was forced to remain in darkness hiding who he truly was,” Arthur said, “I knew there was tension between the two of them, I had no idea why .” Gwaine frowned, “Leon and I interrupted something between them in the corridor one day they were in heated conversation. Mordred was clearly furious, he stormed of f. Merlin just said it was nothing, but we did not believe him.” Arthur closed his eyes for a moment then tilted his head back looking up at the night sky . “The burden Merlin was forced to carry on his shoulders. He must have felt so alone all these years…isolated. He had only Gaius and the damn dragon to turn to.” “Sire, you should try to get some sleep. W e can head back to Camelot at first light,” Percival said. Arthur nodded, wiped his eyes then let out a ragged breath. Gwaine stood up, getting his bedroll laying it out next to the fire and Arthur laid down on it. It took hours for him to finally fall asleep. And in his dreams, he saw Merlin smiling. “Merlin,” Arthur said in his sleep. Remember me, Arthur…r emember me and I will always be. Arthur jolted upright pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. Gwaine was awake keeping watch for Saxons that might still be in the area. “Arthur?” “I’m all right, just…” “What?” “Merlin…he spoke to me in my dream.” Gwaine smiled, “Y ou see, he will always be with you.” “I know he will be.” “The sun is coming up, Y our Highness, we should return to Camelot,” Percival said as he got up to pack their few belongings and take care of the horses. “Ready?” Gwaine asked placing a hand on Arthur ’s shoulder . “No,” Arthur said getting to his feet anyway , “The thought of returning to Camelot without Merlin…it’ s just so hard to imagine not having him there. He became such an important part of the kingdom. People loved him.” “Then it is our job to make sure they never for get him and the sacrifices he made,” Gwaine smiled. Arthur nodded his lips parting in a soft smile, “Let’ s go home.” “My Lady ,” Leon said as he burst into the council chambers, “The king…he has been seen approaching Camelot. He is with Gwaine and Percival. He is alive!” “Oh, thank God,” Gwen gasped then followed Leon out, heading for the courtyard. She descended the steps just as Arthur rode through the gates coming toward her with Gwaine and Percival riding just a step behind. She watched the gates fully expecting to see Merlin. He had done it…he had saved Arthur . When Merlin did not appear , she met Arthur ’s gaze and her heart dropped. “No, no, not Merlin,” she cried, shaking her head. Arthur dismounted and she immediately flew into his arms. He held her tightly burying his face in her dark hair to hide his grief from the people. She cupped the back of his head holding him, feeling every shudder…every barely restrained sob. “Arthur ,” Gwen said, “Shh, my love. Y ou are home…you are alive.” “Merlin…” Arthur choked. “He saved you.” “Guinevere, he was a sorcerer .” “I know ,” Gwen smiled through her tears, drawing back to frame his face with her hands, “I know he had magic. He was always by your side, protecting you. What happened, Arthur?” “Mor gana caught up to us, she…Merlin killed her , she is dead. He brought us peace, but it cost him his life. In destroying her , he destroyed himself. It wasn’ t supposed to be…it was not his destiny . I was meant to die, Guinevere.” “But you did not, and I am so happy and grateful. I could not live without you, Arthur . Merlin gave his life for you and for that he will be honored.” “I want him back.” “I know , so do I, Arthur . Come inside, let’ s get you some food and you can rest.” Arthur shook his head, “There is something I must do first. I need to tell Gaius. And I need to write a letter to Hunith. Gwaine and Percival are going to ride to Ealdor to…to tell her that her son is dead.” “Sire,” Leon said, “I will go. Gwaine and Percival need food and rest as well. I will leave immediately .” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her…tell her that I am sorry . Gods, I should go…I should be there. Merlin was my best friend. I should be the one…” Leon put a hand on Arthur's shoulder , “You are clearly exhausted, My Lord, let me do this for you. I will bring Hunith back with me then you can speak with her in person.” “All right, Leon, thank you. T ake a few men with you. I do not want you going alone.” “We will leave within the hour , Arthur ,” Leon gave a nod then watched as Arthur climbed the steps with Gwen’ s arms around him. Percival and Gwaine gave Leon a grateful nod and then followed. Hearing the commotion in the square, Gaius was just coming around the corner when Gwen and Arthur came up the stairs and Arthur stopped when he saw him. The old physician looked past them and shook his head. “Where is Merlin?” he asked. “Gaius…” Arthur said his voice soft, eyes shining with tears, “Merlin…” “No, no, it can’ t be,” Gaius gasped, “Not Merlin…” “I’m so sorry , Gaius. He saved me. Merlin—Merlin is gone…he’ s dead.” Gaius stumbled back a step to lean against the wall, clutching his chest. Gwaine and Arthur both rushed forward to steady him and ease him down onto a bench. His hands were shaking violently as he closed his eyes. “What—what happened?” he asked. Arthur crouched down in front of him and grasped his shoulder . “Mor gana caught up to us. Merlin did something, I am not exactly sure what, but Kilgharrah said that his magic and Morgana’ s was returned to the earth the sea, and the sky . Merlin gave up his magic and his immortality…for me. I am so sorry , Gaius. It was not supposed to happen like this. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gaius shook his head, “I should have known. Merlin always said he would gladly die for you, Arthur . He loved you.” “I know—I know he did. He told me,” Arthur said, gently squeezing Gaius’ shoulder . “Did he suf fer?” Gaius asked his voice breaking. Arthur shook his head, “It all happened so fast. I tried to get to him, but this wave of magic…it washed over the land. It healed me and Kilgharrah and it brought Gwaine back to life. God knows what else it did. I have never seen anything like it, Gaius.” “I had no idea Merlin even knew of such a spell,” Gaius said. “Leon is riding out with some men within the hour to Ealdor .” “I should go with them,” Gaius said, “Hunith trusted me to protect her son and I failed.” “No, Gaius, it was I who failed,” Arthur said, “Not you. I should have known long ago…I should have seen the burden Merlin carried. No one is to blame but me.” “Arthur , it was I who ur ged Merlin to hide his magic. I wanted to keep him safe.” “And you did, Gaius. Y ou took him in, and you were there for him when no one else was. You treated him like a son, and I know he was grateful for that. I know the truth now , about his magic, about Balinor . I for gave him, I accepted him, and I told him as much before he died. My only regret is I did not tell him how much he meant to me, and how much I loved him. For Merlin, I am going to lift the ban on magic. And while I know it is of little consolation, I want to honor him and his sacrifice. Merlin will never be for gotten, and the people will know who he truly was and what he meant to their king.” “Thank you, Arthur ,” Gaius nodded, tears in his eyes, “Merlin wanted so badly for you to see him for who he was, and you should know that it pained him to keep his secret, from you especially .” “Merlin once asked me if I would call him a hero if he died. I should have told him then, but I was a fool. I failed to appreciate him. He was always there for me. Magic aside, he was the one person I knew I could always count on. He was a hero in every way .” “For what it is worth, Sire, Merlin felt the same. Even though he kept his secret, he did trust you. He gave all that he was for you.” “I know ,” Arthur nodded then looked at Gwaine and Percival, “Could you two please take Gaius to his chambers then once he is settled get some rest yourselves.” “Yes, Sire,” Percival nodded. “If you need me,” Gwaine said to Arthur . “I’ll be all right, go now ,” Arthur nodded then watched the three men walk away before turning to Guinevere. She stepped into his embrace kissing him tenderly . “Come, Arthur let’ s get you cleaned up and fed then you will rest,” Gwen smiled cupping his cheek, “I am so glad you are home.” “So am I,” Arthur said then let her lead him toward their chambers. Truth and Honor Arthur stood at the wall where he and Merlin had stood so many times. The place where he had said goodbye to his servant before he left to return to Ealdor all those years ago to save his village from Kanen and his bandits. He smiled as he remembered walking across the grass, acting like children pushing and bumping shoulders as they took of f running… friends…best friends. The sun was just coming up, Arthur had been awake all night. Every time he closed his eyes to sleep he saw Merlin dying over and over again. He missed him, his laugh…but then Merlin had not really laughed in so long. How had he not noticed? It was not just the magic Arthur had been oblivious to, but the loneliness, pain, and loss. The overwhelming weight of their shared destiny had been carried by Merlin alone. Arthur bowed his head. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a piece of cloth, faded blue, shabby yet beautiful. Merlin’ s scarf…he had found it in his room, it was the one his servant had been wearing the night he nearly died after throwing himself between Arthur and the Doracha. It still smelled like wood, herbs, and Merlin. The king smiled clutching it in his hand as tears slid down his face. “Arthur…” Arthur flinched, turning to see Gwaine standing behind him his face etched with worry and understanding. Arthur shook his head. “The queen sent me to look for you,” Gwaine said. “You found me,” Arthur responded, his voice sounding hollow even to his own ears. “You’ve been up here all night?” “No, just a couple of hours. Couldn’ t sleep.” “Gwen said you never returned to your chambers.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I sat in his room for hours. Been wandering the castle most of the night. Merlin was such a presence here…everything just feels wrong without him. He touched so many lives. How are we supposed to just go on without him? It’ s not right.” “I heard Gaius is staying in a room at the inn,” Gwaine said, and Arthur nodded. “He is heartbroken. I fear for his health.” “And you?” Gwaine asked. Arthur met his gaze and shook his head, “How did I not see it? He was always there for me. How did I not see that he had grown so callous, so focused on keeping me safe? Gwaine, he changed, and I missed it. I should have been there for him. Maybe…maybe if I had, he would still be here…instead of lying on the bottom of that godforsaken lake.” “Arthur , you are not the only one who failed Merlin,” Gwaine said, “He was my best friend too, and I did not see it either . I was so focused on my duties as a Knight of Camelot, drinking in the tavern, gambling, and pretty girls. I should have been there for him too, and I wasn’ t.” “Yet it was you he turned to for help when he lost his magic, and when Gaius was kidnapped, because I refused to listen. Lancelot…you…he could not come to me for help because I was an arrogant prat who refused to take his worries and his warnings seriously . He was forced to fight his battles in secret.” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur , folding his arms across his chest as he turned and leaned back against the wall. “Why didn’ t you listen to him?” “Because I was a fool. I took him for granted. I could not see past my own pride to accept that Merlin was far more intelligent and discerning than I was. He was always better at observing and reading people. People like Agravaine…Merlin knew he was working against me. He tried to warn me, and I did not listen.” Arthur shook his head fighting his emotions, “I have a sick feeling that Merlin was forced to deal with him when it should have been me.” “What do you mean?” Gwaine asked. “Looking back now , when we were in the tunnels near Ealdor , Merlin went back to create a distraction, to give us time to escape. I think Merlin killed him.” Arthur leaned forward resting his hands on the top of the wall and shook his head. “How many times was Merlin forced to kill for me? His innocence was lost…his morals became blurred, his smile faded, and I failed to notice.” “We all did, Arthur . Merlin was very adept at hiding, not just his magic, but his pain and fear as well. When he found me in Engerd and asked for my help when you had gone to the Perilous Lands, I saw then how devoted to you he was…how far he would go to make sure you survived whatever threat you faced.” “The Doracha,” Arthur said softly , “Merlin threw himself at them. He was terrified, but he did not even hesitate…you know he of fered to take my place, to sacrifice himself. If Lancelot had not stepped through first, Merlin would have.” “I guess now we know how he survived their attack…his magic and his immortality ,” Gwaine huf fed and shook his head. “Y ou think Lancelot knew about his magic?” “I am certain of it. Y ou weren’ t here when he first came to Camelot. He killed the Grif fin that was threatening the kingdom, now I know Merlin must have had a hand in it. Gaius said the only way it could be killed was with magic and the two of them were thick as thieves from the beginning.” “Makes sense.” “So many things make sense now . Falling branches, wild winds coming out of nowhere, bandits falling of f horses for no reason or getting tripped up, the impenetrable forest, the immortal army just exploding into nothing.” “The damn W yverns,” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin was a Dragonlord.” Arthur nodded, “Merlin, found and lost his father within a day and I had no idea. He hid his grief, buried it, and was still by my side when I faced the dragon. He stopped Kilgharrah from continuing his attack on Camelot. Gods, I was an idiot. I could not figure out why Merlin was so upset over the death of Balinor , a man he had only just met. I still remember the look on his face when he turned around…” “Arthur , you can stand out here and continue to mentally flog yourself for mistakes that can never be fixed, or you can pull yourself together and do what you promised. Honor Merlin’ s memory…free magic so people like him can finally come out of the shadows and stop living in fear . That is the best way you can begin to make amends.” “You’re right, Gwaine,” Arthur nodded, “Thank you.” “No problem.” “You are a good man and a loyal friend. I know I gave you a hard time over the years, but I want you to know that I appreciate all you have done for me, for Merlin, for the kingdom.” Gwaine smiled and shrugged, “I wouldn’ t have it any other way .” “Are we still on for that drunken stupor?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Absolutely , we will have a few…or a dozen for Merlin too.” “That night in the tavern, before Camlann, when Merlin took all my money ,” Arthur chuckled, “Do you think he cheated?” “Oh, most definitely ,” Gwaine laughed, “I know I would have if I had his gift.” “Will we ever know all he did?” “Doubtful, but then it doesn’ t really matter . Merlin was a hero.” “Would you join me for breakfast, Gwaine?” “I’d be honored,” he smiled. They turned and walked across the grass. It was just before sunset when the bonfire was lit outside the walls of the city . People came from the lower town, outlying villages, and even neighboring kingdoms. Arthur stood beside the fire with Guinevere on his arm staring into the flames as they grew higher and higher reaching into the sky . Knights, squires, servants, merchants, and peasants all gathered around, little children brought flowers and precious stones, placing them on top of a low wall that stood close to the flames. “Arthur ,” Gwen choked back a sob and he wrapped his arms around her , “It’s so beautiful.” “If only Merlin could see this,” he said fighting his own tears. Merlin deserved this honor and more. He was stunned when people began to come forward telling stories about Merlin, his good deeds, his courage, his strength, and his loyalty . Some told stories of how he had saved the life of a loved one, and others had funny stories about Merlin’ s antics and his clumsiness. The cook told everyone how Merlin always helped her in the kitchen even though he had his own duties. She admitted giving him extra sweets hoping to put some meat on his bones and everyone laughed tearfully . It was at that moment when Arthur saw Hunith step into the circle of light, her eyes red from crying, her hands trembling. Leon was beside her , his hand on her elbow as they approached. Arthur let go of Gwen, moving toward Merlin’ s mother then gathered her into his arms. “Arthur ,” Hunith gasped and broke down crying again. “I’m so sorry , Hunith, for give me,” Arthur choked as she drew back, cupping his cheek and shaking her head. “There is nothing to for give, Arthur ,” she smiled through her tears, “Merlin…my boy , he loved you more than anything. I do not blame you.” “It should have been me. Merlin should be here.” “No, Arthur…Merlin’ s magic was for you. He was born to serve you.” “He told me as much,” Arthur laughed softly even as tears slid down his face. “Merlin gave his life so you could be the great king he always knew you would be,” Hunith said then glanced over at Gwen, “Camelot will thrive, and Merlin’ s death will not be in vain.” “I am going to lift the ban on magic, Hunith, so no one will have to live in fear the way Merlin did…the way you did, always trying to keep him safe. I am just sorry I did not do it sooner . I let my father ’s hate, fear , and indoctrination blind me to the truth about sorcery . I can see now that it is not magic that is inherently evil, that evil is in the hearts of man. Merlin taught me that.” “All that matters is what you do from now forward, Great King,” Hunith said, “Remember Merlin, remember his sacrifices and how much he loved you. He may be gone, but he can still guide you.” She looked around at all the faces and smiled, wiping her eyes, “Thank you all, thank you for coming to honor my son’ s memory .” Holding on to Hunith’ s hand, Arthur took a deep breath, he looked at her then at Guinevere and his knights. “Many of you know that Merlin and I did not get of f to a great start,” Arthur said with a slight grin, and many people chuckled and nodded, “The fool wasn’ t even in Camelot a day and he chose to challenge the Prince of Camelot, called me out for bullying my servant. I found myself strangely drawn to this peasant with a death wish. There was just something about Merlin that I couldn’ t put my finger on. I am ashamed to admit that I challenged him to a mace fight in the market, not one of my finest moments. Merlin nearly beat me too, though he admitted to me very recently that he used magic to do so. Then unbeknownst to anyone, he used it again to save my life and ended up as my manservant as a reward.” Arthur laughed softly , looking around at his people. “Having Merlin in my life changed me, made me a better man, a better prince, and ultimately the king that I am today . Despite the dif ference in our status, he never once treated me differently . He saw through my façade, let me know all of my flaws and just what he thought of my title and my arrogance,” he grinned, rolling his eyes as he glanced up at the night sky for a moment. The people laughed and Arthur shook his head struggling to get his emotions in check before he could continue. He let go of Hunith’ s hand taking a few steps forward as she nodded reassuringly , and in that gesture, Arthur found the strength he needed to say what was truly in his heart. “Merlin, lived in fear every day , battled foes we never knew about and some that we did. Camelot would not be standing if it weren’ t for his courage, strength, and tenacity . Merlin was forced to hide who he truly was for far too long. I myself only found out about his magic when he told me after the battle at Camlann. At first, I was angry and hurt that he had not trusted me with his greatest secret, but I realized that he only did it to protect me and the people he loved, the people of this kingdom and beyond. He gave all of himself, risking life and limb and even his humanity for all of us. I hope I can be the king Merlin saw in me, even when I was, as he so loved to point out, an arrogant, pompous dollop head,” he grinned, and everyone laughed. “Don’ t forget Clotpole,” Gwaine shouted. “And cabbage head,” Leon laughed. “Royal prat,” Percival chuckled. “Yes, how could I for get,” Arthur smirked. “I want to thank each and every one of you for coming here tonight. It means a lot to Merlin’ s mother , to me, to Gaius, and all his friends. Merlin will not be for gotten. He will live on in all of us. I know I will never for get him, and I will never stop missing him. He was the other half of my soul, and his loss has left a gaping hole that will never be filled.” “Two sides of the same coin,” Hunith smiled through her tears then brought Arthur ’s hand up to her lips. Arthur nodded and hugged her tightly . The rest of the evening was filled with tears, laughter , food, drink, and endless stories. Hunith went to be with Gaius as the old physician lingered silently on the edge of the firelight clearly struggling with his grief. Gwen excused herself and Leon accompanied her back into the castle, but not before she made sure that Arthur knew he did not have to follow until he was ready . Arthur was stunned to see Princess Mithian walking toward him, tears in her eyes as she shook her head. “Arthur , I am so deeply sorry , I know what Merlin meant to you. He was a good man.” “Mithian, I didn’ t expect that you would travel all this way to be here. Thank you for coming.” “Merlin was special to me as well, Arthur . I did not say anything at the time because obviously did not want to get Merlin into trouble, but I know for certain that it was he who caused the tremor that saved all of us. I caught a glimpse of his eyes as he uttered words of a spell then struck the ground with his hand.” Arthur nodded, “Unexplainable things happened around Merlin all the time and I was too stupid to see it.” “Not stupid, Arthur ,” Mithian said then kissed his cheek, “I will be forever grateful to Merlin and to you for all you did. My father and I, we owe you both our lives.” “How is King Rodor?” “He is doing as well as can be expected for a man of his age. He sends his regards.” “I hope you will stay on a few days,” Arthur said, “I would love to talk to you about lifting the ban on magic and get your input. I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and your people.” “I would be delighted,” Mithian said, “I should like to get to know your beautiful queen better , as the last time we were here…” “Yes, Guinevere will be happy to have a woman to talk to.” “It is good to see you again, Arthur . I just wish it were under better circumstances. I can see how hard it is for you to lose Merlin.” “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “I miss him.” “I know ,” she said then clasped his hands, “If there is anything I can do for you, please ask. “Thank you, Mithian,” Arthur smiled, kissing her cheek then she moved toward the fire. He glanced over and spotted Queen Annis riding in with her knights. He approached them as she slid to the ground and reached for his hand. “Arthur ,” Annis said, “I heard what happened. I am so deeply sorry .” “Thank you for coming, Annis,” Arthur smiled. “Of course,” the queen said, “I want you to know that I am behind you on lifting the ban on magic. It is time for the ways of Uther Pendragon to change. Magic should be accepted again and people able to live in peace, without fear . “I appreciate that, Annis,” Arthur said then motioned toward the food. Y ou have had a long journey please eat, drink, and I will have the servants prepare rooms for you and Princess Mithian.” “Ah yes, I am starving,” the queen winked at him then waved to her knights to take care of the horses and joined in the festivities. Arthur walked amongst the people and then returned to the bonfire. He added more wood as Gwaine came to stand next to him. “I always knew that Merlin was well loved,” Gwaine smiled, “But this is just amazing.” “I wish he could see it,” Arthur said swiping at his eyes. “Maybe he can.” “I want him back.” “So do I, Arthur…so do I.” “Are you all right?” Gwaine shrugged, “I’m alive.” “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “And I am glad of that. I could not have gotten through this without your help, thank you.” “You’re welcome.” “Come on let’ s get a drink,” Arthur said, draping his arm around Gwaine’ s shoulders. The days that followed were filled with council meetings, kingdom negotiations, and citizen concerns with the prospect of magic being allowed in Camelot again, some of whom had magic and were still afraid to use it openly . Arthur could not help but think about Merlin and how hard it must have been for him to hide, especially considering just how powerful he was. T o suppress his magic, to control it, and use it without being caught. “Arthur ,” Gwen said. “Yes?” “Do you want to talk about it…about Merlin?” Arthur shook his head, “I’m sorry .” “You do not have to apologize, Arthur…not to me.” “How did you handle it? When Gaius told you…” he asked, his voice trailing of f. “Merlin was your friend too. Y ou must have felt betrayed on some level, as I did.” Gwen sat down at the table, reaching out to take hold of his hand. “Gaius merely confirmed what I had already suspected. I knew Merlin would never have left your side unless there was something of vital importance. He loved you more than anything and anyone, Arthur . When I saw that old sorcerer on the clif fs and Gaius admitted to knowing who he was, I started to piece together the past. My father ’s miraculous recovery , all the times you were pulled back from the brink of death, the times I was saved from execution, so many things began to make sense once I added the element of magic. Merlin had magic.” “When he told me,” Arthur said, “I reacted badly . I ordered him to leave me.” “And yet he didn’ t,” Gwen smiled. “The way I treated him…I did not deserve his loyalty , his friendship…he should have hated me.” Gwen laughed softly , and Arthur looked at her curiously . “Arthur , you for get I was there in the beginning. I saw how you and Merlin were instantly drawn to each other . Tell me, that day on the training field, when you two first met…if Merlin had been any other peasant, what would you have done?” Arthur nodded and smiled, “I would have hauled him in front of my father . Probably made sure he was banished or at the very least locked up for a month.” “And yet you didn’ t. Not even when he stood his ground in the market the next day and fought you. Arthur , you, and Merlin were always meant to stand together , side by side as equals.” “That’ s just it though, Guinevere, I never treated him as an equal. Even that last day , before I left for Camlann when he told me that he would not be coming with me, I called him a coward. I am ashamed of the way I belittled him, and I refused to listen when he tried to tell me that Agravaine was working against me. When Cedric was possessed by Sigan and countless other times. All the years he fought for me and for Camelot and received nothing, asked for nothing.” “Arthur , Merlin served you, protected you, and guided you out of a strong sense of duty , destiny , and most of all out of love. I may be your wife and your queen, but I always knew there was a deep bond between the two of you that I could never hope to compete with. He loved you and you loved him,” Gwen smiled taking hold of both his hands. Arthur shook his head and let out a breath, “I couldn’ t…” “But you did. I have known that ever since the night you risked everything to find the Mortaeus flower . To save the life of a young man you could not bear to lose. He became a part of you. I saw the look on your face when he fell to the floor after drinking that wine. You did not stop to think about station or status, all you cared about was Merlin. Everyone saw it and they were proud of you for doing what was good and right.” Arthur got up from his chair and walked to the windows looking out over the courtyard as the sun set, watching his people heading for their homes, to join their families around the hearth. He lowered his head, running his fingers through his blonde hair . “Arthur , you can talk to me. I will not judge you.” “I know , Guinevere, I am trying. It is just so hard because I kept these feelings buried for so long. I never allowed myself to…” his voice broke of f. Gwen got up moving to embrace him. She cupped his cheek and smiled. “Just say it,” she whispered, “Say what is in your heart.” Arthur ’s eyes filled with tears, and he nodded, “I loved him, Guinevere…I loved him so much and I don’ t know how to be me without him at my side.” Gwen smiled, “I know , Arthur .” “How can you not feel betrayed?” “I have no right to feel betrayed. Y ou for get that I too know how it feels to love someone so deeply that you cannot be with.” “Lancelot,” Arthur nodded lowering his gaze, “He was a better man than me.” “That is not true, Arthur . You were strong, noble, brave men who loved so fully . You both gave everything for Camelot and its people. I love you and I always will love Lancelot. Just as you will always love me and Merlin.” Arthur hugged her close, “I do love you my queen…my beautiful, understanding, and wise wife.” “Arthur , I have news,” Gwen smiled brightly , “I wanted to wait to tell you when I was sure. Arthur , you are going to be a father…I am with child.” “Guinevere…” Arthur shook his head, his eyes wide, he let out a joyous cry and kissed her deeply . “That is wonderful!” “I wasn’ t certain how you would take the news with everything…I know it is a lot.” “I am going to be a father!” Arthur laughed. Gwen beamed up at him, stroking his cheek, “Y es, you are.” “I love you, Guinevere, so very much.” “I love you, Arthur .” “This is a new beginning,” Arthur said with a slight nod, “Albion will live, and our child will be brought into a world of peace and prosperity . A world that I could not have achieved without Merlin. I need to find a way to honor him.” “Perhaps you could start by learning just how much he did for you…for me, and for Camelot.” “How do I even begin to do that?” Gwen smiled, “Start at the beginning…with Hunith. She is here in Camelot. And I believe that Gaius knows far more than he was ever able to reveal before.” “The Great Dragon…” Arthur said, and Gwen’ s eyes went wide with fear and confusion. “What does the dragon have to do with Merlin?” Arthur laughed, “Ah, yes, I guess I left that part out. The Great Dragon’ s name is Kilgharrah, and he is the one who told Merlin of our destiny . Do you remember when Merlin and I went in search of the Last Dragonlord to seek his help when Kilgharrah was attacking Camelot? Balinor was Merlin’ s father . When he died his gift was passed down to Merlin. Now that I look back, I think it was Merlin who released the dragon. The idiot.” “Arthur , the dragon is dead, isn’ t he?” “No, Merlin let me believe that I had mortally wounded him back then. The dragon was dying of old age though, and whatever Merlin did to destroy Mor gana it released a wave of magic over the land that not only healed me, but Kilgharrah as well, and it brought Gwaine back from the dead.” “Oh, the day before you returned?” Gwen asked her eyes going wide. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “Merlin saved all that is precious to me when he ended Mor gana's reign of terror . He gave up his magic and his immortality for me.” “Immortality?” Gwen gasped. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “I was meant to die, to return when Albion needed me most. Merlin was to live forever waiting for my return so he would be there to guide me and protect me as he did in this life.” “Oh, Arthur ,” Gwen said softly . “Now you can understand this guilt I feel. I was meant to die, not Merlin.” Gwen sat down hard on the chair and shook her head, “Arthur , if you were meant to die and one day return. Could that mean Merlin will one day return?” “I don’ t know . I need to find someone who can tell me. The dragon may be my only hope of finding out. Which means I need to find a way to bring him to me. I must talk to Gaius…or perhaps the Druids. Or I can speak to Merlin!” Arthur said, his eyes going wide. “How?” Gwen asked shaking her head. “The Horn of Cathbhadh,” he said, “It is in the vaults. I could ride to the Great Stones of Nemeton and use it to summon Merlin.” “Are you certain that is wise, Arthur? Y ou remember what happened with your father .” “I will speak to Gaius, have him show me the proper way to do it,” he looked at Gwen, “I love you. I am so happy about our child.” “Go, Arthur ,” she nodded and laughed, “Go speak with Gaius now .” “Are you sure,” he asked. “I am sure. Y ou need to learn all you can about Merlin’ s sacrifice. I want our child to know him and all he did for us.” “I love you,” Arthur said then kissed her tenderly before leaving their chambers. “My Lord,” Gaius said as he opened the door to find Arthur standing on the other side his hands clasped behind him. “What brings you to my chambers?” “I came to see how you are doing and to ask a favor ,” Arthur said as he stepped inside the room which seemed darker than normal. Perhaps it was the lack of light or the lack of a certain someone’ s presence within its walls. “Gaius, I know what Merlin meant to you and I know that you protected him all these years.” “I did, Sire,” Gaius said as he sat down at the table, returning to his dinner . He motioned to the other bench and Arthur sat down. “W ould you like some food?” “No, thank you.” “So, what can I do for you, Arthur?” “Gaius, you told me that one day I would learn, that I would understand just how much they had done for me. It was Merlin you spoke of back then. I know that now , and I need to know everything, Gaius. I need to know all that Merlin did for me and for Camelot. The only way that can happen is if I speak to Merlin.” Gaius barely flinched at the last part, nodding wearily . “And just how do you plan to do that?” “The Horn of Cathbhadh,” Arthur said. “That is not possible, Arthur .” “It worked with my father .” “Only the spirits of your ancestors may be summoned by the horn. It will not work for Merlin.” Arthur ’s face fell and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Then how? I must speak with Merlin.” Gaius nodded, “The Horn will not help you, Sire.” “Gaius, please, I beg of you. I cannot move on without knowing the truth.” “Very well,” Gaius nodded sadly , “I will tell you all I know . There is no reason not to, now that I no longer have to protect Merlin.” Arthur lowered his gaze, “Gaius, I am so sorry . If I could trade places with him, I would. If I could bring him back.” “Merlin would not want you to, Arthur . I think he always knew he would have to lay down his life for you in the end.” “I feel so empty , Gaius,” Arthur said, “I don’ t know how to be me without Merlin. I owe him everything. I miss him, Gods…” Gaius let out a breath and gave Arthur a slight smile. “I know you do.” “I need to know what the prophecy says now that I have lived, and Merlin died. He was meant to live…I was meant to die. How can I call the dragon to me?” “You know about Kilgharrah,” Gaius said raising an eyebrow . “Yes, he came to A valon after it all happened. He told me of the prophecy and Merlin’ s father . I figured out that it was Merlin who set Kilgharrah free all those years ago.” “He did, but only because the dragon had helped him to save you many times. Kilgharrah was exceptionally good at telling Merlin just enough and leaving out the parts he should have been told. The old dragon had his own aims. I only allowed Merlin to communicate with him because I knew they were both creatures of magic. They needed each other .” “My father kept him prisoner for two decades.” “Yes, Sire,” Gaius said, “He believed that keeping Kilgharrah prisoner would set an example for any kingdoms who would ever think they could attack Camelot.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “That worked out well.” “Yes, but it did accomplish one thing, it struck fear in all those with magic. If your father could keep a magical beast prisoner , what could he do to them?” “My father was wrong,” Arthur said, “He was wrong about everything. Magic is not evil. Perhaps if I had known that then, I would have had time to save Mor gana.” “Mor gana’ s magic was far dif ferent from Merlin’ s. Her magic emer ged at first through her dreams…nightmares. She saw things in them that eventually came to be. Things that were avoided because Merlin was able to stop them.” “Sophia?” Arthur said letting out a breath, “I knew there was more to that story .” “Mor gana saw her drown you in her dreams. Merlin tried to get through to you to keep you from going with Sophia and Aulfric. They were Sidhe in human form. Condemned to live a mortal life for killing another Sidhe. Their only way back to A valon was to sacrifice you. Merlin was nearly killed when Aulfric slammed him into the wall in your chambers. When I found him, he was in pain and disoriented. Y et he still ran all the way to A valon to stop them and save you.” Arthur shook his head, “How many times did he nearly die for me?” “Too many to count I’m afraid,” Gaius frowned. “I remember , Mor gana dreamed of the Questing Beast…she was terrified.” “Yes, she saw you die.” “How did I survive? The bite was supposed to be fatal. And for that matter the beast itself, I know I did not kill it.” “Merlin did. W ith the same spell that he used on Lancelot’ s lance so he could kill the Griffin. Merlin enchanted your sword and drove it into the heart of the beast killing it. When they brought you back to Camelot, there was little hope. Merlin went to the dragon who told him he would need to go to the Isle of the Blessed. That he would need the magic of the old religion to save you. Nimueh was there. She gave him water from the Cup of Life, and in exchange, he bar gained his own life. Unfortunately , she knew who Merlin really was. She chose to take his mother instead. Hunith showed up here in the middle of a storm deathly ill and covered in sores. Merlin intended to return to the Isle of the Blessed to force Nimueh to take him instead. I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how he is—was,” Gaius said. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “He never would do what he was told.” “He went to your chambers, said he needed to tell you goodbye. It was then that I decided it would be me…that I would take his place. I went to the Isle of the Blessed to of fer myself for Merlin. I was unconscious by the time Merlin arrived. He told me afterward, Nimueh tried to get him to join her , to rule by her side…he refused of course. She attacked him with balls of fire. He ended up with a burn scar on his chest from the one that hit him. He pulled lightning from the storm raging overhead and killed her . In taking her life, the balance was restored and Hunith lived…I lived.” “And I lived…” Arthur let out a ragged breath. “It was Merlin’ s duty , his destiny to protect you…his purpose…the purpose for his magic. He was born with it, Arthur . For Merlin, magic was like breathing…a part of him.” “So, when he said that he was born to serve me…” “Yes,” Gaius nodded. “Gods, Gaius, what did I ever do to deserve him? He was a far better man than me.” “Merlin would be the first to disagree with that, Arthur . Your father was a friend, but even I can admit that he was a hard man, cruel and unyielding at times. He made me take an oath to never tell you the truth about Nimueh and your birth. I am sorry , truly . I was a foolish old man, I let fear direct my actions. If I had not then Merlin and Mor gana would still be with us. Y ou have lost so much, Arthur…” Gaius frowned and shook his head. “Guinevere told me that she is with child,” Arthur smiled. Gaius smiled, “I am happy for you both. Y ou will be a wonderful father , Arthur .” “If Merlin had not done what he did, I would not be here. My child would have grown up without a father just as I grew up without my mother .” “Then Merlin fulfilled his destiny ,” Gaius said. “I want him back. I need him back,” Arthur said. “That is not possible, no matter how much I wish it were. I loved Merlin as a son.” “I know you did.” Gaius looked at Arthur intently . “Arthur , there is one place where you may be able to communicate with Merlin. I cannot guarantee that it will work.” “Please, Gaius. I will do whatever it takes.” “The reason Merlin was not able to go with you to Camlann…Mor gana took his magic using a creature of the Old Religion, called the Gean Canach. His only hope of regaining it was to travel to the place where magic was born. It is called the Crystal Cave and lies in the V alley of the Fallen Kings. Mor gana showed up and brought down the cave entrance trapping Merlin inside. He was injured and without his magic. Desperate to get to you before the battle. He told me that his father appeared to him in the cave and helped him to regain his magic. He used the crystals to send you the message about the hidden path in the mountains.” “Yes, he did.” “Perhaps if you go to the Crystal Cave there may be a way to communicate with Merlin. I will need to do some research. If you can give me a day or so.” “Yes, of course, Gaius,” Arthur said, “But will I need the help of magic?” “I will be able to tell you more once I look into it.” “Very well, it is getting late. I would like to speak with you more tomorrow , Gaius.” “You know where to find me, My Lord,” Gaius nodded, “Good night, Arthur .” “Good night, Gaius,” Arthur said then left the chambers. He walked down the silent corridor , but instead of returning to their chambers, he walked outside and down the steps. He needed a drink. Heading for the tavern he walked in to find Gwaine and Percival at a table staring at their tankards of mead not saying anything. The fire was burning in the hearth, and the barkeep looked up, surprised to see the king. “My Lord,” he bowed, “What can I get you, Sire?” “Whatever they are having, please,” Arthur said then walked over to the table and pulled up a chair . Gwaine and Percival took a moment to even realize he was there, nearly jumping out of their skin when they did. “Arthur!” Percival said in surprise. Gwaine turned to look at him, his eyes glazed over . “Every time I see you, I look for him,” he huf fed a pained laugh, his words slurred, “But then I remember , and it feels like a knife through the gut.” Arthur nodded, taking a drink of his mead as soon as Evoric placed it in front of him. “I keep expecting him to show up with some ridiculous story about falling asleep in the woods. Gods, I miss that smile and his annoying prattle. I would give anything to hear him call me a Clotpole or a dollop head again.” “Merlin never held back on his insults, did he,” Gwaine chuckled. “Arthur ,” Percival said, “Do you think it was his magic that saved him after the Doracha?” “Knowing what I know now I am certain of it,” Arthur said as Evoric brought him a second tankard of mead before he’d even finished the first. He shrugged, swallowed down the first, then started on the second. It wasn’ t proper for the king to get drunk in a tavern, but he couldn’ t find a reason to care right now . “Lancelot must have known that Merlin had magic,” Percival nodded. “Yeah, Gaius confirmed my suspicions. Merlin enchanted the lance he used to kill the Grif fin back when he first came to Camelot. The first time he was made a knight and my father stripped him of his title because his seal of nobility was for ged…which I believe a certain Warlock was responsible for as well.” “Warlock? Sorcerer? Dragonlord?” Gwaine said, “Merlin was just full of surprises.” “What is the dif ference between a W arlock and a Sorcerer?” Percival asked. “From what Gaius told me, Merlin was born with his magic,” Arthur said, “It was as much a part of him as breathing, or the blood pumping through his veins. Sorcerers may have a gift, but they study magic, it does not come naturally to them. Merlin was magic, but he learned how to use it properly from Gaius. So, I suppose, in a way , he was both.” “Was it really Mordred who mortally wounded you?” Gwaine asked Arthur . “Yes,” Arthur nodded taking a drink of his mead, “I hesitated…that is all it took. He said I gave him no other choice. When I ran him through, he smiled…he smiled like he was relieved. It made no sense. I cared about him…trained him and he turned against me over a girl he hadn’ t seen since he was a child.” “You gave her a chance, Arthur…she refused your of fer,” Gwaine shook his head. “But Mordred didn’ t know that did he,” Arthur frowned. “This prophecy…” Percival said, “Merlin knew about it?” “Explains why he and Mordred were always at odds. I thought maybe Merlin was just jealous of the attention you were paying to Mordred,” Gwaine frowned. Arthur nodded, “I see that now . It must have been so hard for him knowing that Mordred had magic like him and yet he was merely a servant and I made Mordred a knight.” “If you had known Mordred had magic you wouldn’ t have done so,” Percival said. “No, I most likely would not have. Merlin is the one who deserved to be a knight,” Arthur shook his head, “Gods, I am ashamed of the way I treated him. I still have no idea how many times he saved my life…how many times he saved Camelot.” The door opened then, and they looked around as Leon walked in, and waved to Evoric who nodded and poured another tankard of mead. “Thought I might find you all here,” Leon said as he pulled up a chair , sat down, then looked at Arthur . “Are you all right, Sire?” Arthur shook his head, “Why wouldn’ t I be? I have only lost the other half of my soul.” “I’m sorry ,” Leon frowned. “No, it is I who should be sorry ,” Arthur said patting Leon’ s shoulder , “I have been neglecting my kingly duties placing too much on your shoulders.” “The queen sent me to find you, she is worried.” “I should probably go back.” “No, perhaps this is what you need…to talk about Merlin,” Leon said, “I am certain she understands.” “What kind of man am I?” Arthur asked, his words beginning to slur as he drank a third tankard of mead, “My queen…my wife, she is with child and I am here, with you lot, grieving over my servant…best friend…protector…sorcerer…warlock…Dragonlord.” “You’re going to be a father?” Leon smiled. “Yep, I am, and if not for Merlin I would have died and never known about my child.” “Cheers,” Gwaine and Percival smiled then downed their mead. “I’m drunk,” Arthur said. “Me too?” Gwaine smirked. Arthur shook his head then let it fall back and chuckled, “Merlin used his magic in our fight in the market, he admitted it to me. I had no idea. He would have won if Gaius had not distracted him. I hit him with a broomstick.” “Low blow ,” Percival smirked. “Heard about that fight, didn’ t see it for myself,” Leon smiled. “Then he saved my life, and as a reward, my father made him my manservant.” “Sounds more like a punishment,” Gwaine grinned. “You’re not wrong,” Arthur shrugged his eyes growing wider , “Sacked him after the snakes in the shield thing with V aliant. I was an idiot.” “You obviously hired him back,” Percival said. “Yes, I couldn’ t stand the thought of anyone else replacing him…and now…” “There’ s always Geor ge,” Leon smirked. Arthur glared at him, “I would rather wash my own socks than have to deal with Geor ge.” “He is rather stif f and proper ,” Gwaine laughed. “That’ s just it, he is too ef ficient for our king,” Leon chuckled. “And he’ s not Merlin,” Arthur said finishing his mead, “I want Merlin back.” “We all do,” Leon said, “He was a friend to all of us…a brother really .” Arthur leaned forward placing his head in his hands, elbows on the table. The others looked at each other , clearly concerned for their friend and king. He huf fed a laugh then dropped his hands, his eyes shining with tears. “I am really , really drunk,” he said. “Me too, but not enough yet,” Gwaine mumbled then tipped his empty tankard upside down. “We should get you two back to the palace,” Leon said. “No,” Arthur said then turned to the barkeep, “Evoric, do you have a room available?” “Yes, of course, Y our Highness,” he nodded, “I shall give you my best room.” “One for Gwaine too…Percival?” “No, I am not that drunk, but I’ll help get Gwaine upstairs.” “My Lord, the room I have for you has a second bed for Sir Gwaine or I can give him a separate room,” Evoric said. “No need, Gwaine can share the room with me,” Arthur said as he stood up, swaying on his feet to the point where Leon had to prop him up. “Thank you, Leon. W ill you please send word to Guinevere…tell her I am sorry .” “I am certain she will understand, Arthur ,” Leon said then helped his king up the stairs with Percival following behind, Gwaine leaning heavily on him. Reaching the top of the stairs, they followed Evoric to the end of the long hallway . He unlocked the door opening it wide, stepping inside to light the candles and start a fire in the hearth. “Here we are,” Evoric smiled. Leon sat Arthur down on the lar ger bed near the fire. Percival dropped Gwaine on the smaller bed by the wall then pulled his boots of f. “You’re a good friend…a very big, good friend,” Gwaine smirked and Percival rolled his eyes placing his boots near the hearth. “Leon,” Arthur said then let out a loud burp that made Gwaine laugh. Leon shook his head, taking of f Arthur ’s boots. “Lie down, Arthur , you need to rest.” “Can’ t sleep,” Arthur said as he laid back on the pillow , “I close my eyes, I see Merlin dying…over and over and over again. I will never get that vision out of my head as long as I live. He should be here…not me. It should be me lying in that godforsaken lake.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom. Camelot would be nothing without you, Arthur ,” Leon said with conviction. “Merlin said those exact words to me on the way to A valon,” Arthur said pinching the bridge of his nose before running his fingers through his hair which had gotten too long, but he had no desire to let anyone cut it…that was Merlin’ s job…” “Arthur ,” Leon said, “See you in the morning, rest.” He headed toward the door and Percival followed him out, closing the door behind them, leaving Arthur and Gwaine in silence. “I should have been there,” Gwaine choked out, his voice rough. “Gwaine…” “It was my fault. If I had not convinced Percival that we should go after Mor gana…she would not have gone to A valon. Merlin would be alive, and he would have had time to save you.” “No, Gwaine…don’ t put that on yourself.” “I was so angry about Eira…I allowed her into my bed…I trusted her .” Arthur huf fed a bitter laugh, “I know all about trusting people I should not have. Y ou are not to blame, Gwaine. I do not blame you.” Gwaine let out a growl, kicking the end of the bed. “All of this goes back to your father . His hatred of magic did this…he took Merlin from us.” Arthur fell silent and Gwaine pushed himself up to a seated position, back against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest, then folded his hands across the back of his head. Arthur rolled onto his side facing his knight, “I had the chance to kill my father .” “What?” Gwaine asked, looking at him. “Merlin lied to me…he lied to stop me from killing my father .” “What happened?” “Mor gause conjured the spirit of my mother , Ygraine, who told me the truth about my birth…what my father did. The reason he started the Great Pur ge in the first place. My mother could not conceive so he turned to magic for an heir . I do not know if he knew what the price would be, but in the end, my mother died so I could live…balance…a life for a life. I was angry…Gods, so angry . Upon returning to Camelot, I was out for his blood, I challenged him…demanded that he fight me. I had the point of my sword at his chest when Merlin burst in and told me that Mor gause lied, that it was not my mother I saw . That it was all a lie to tear apart the kingdom. Merlin could have let me kill my father , he would have been free, but instead, he lied, and I dropped my sword.” “Sounds like Merlin,” Gwaine said, “So unselfish. Always putting others ahead of his own needs.” “I still feel such shame for the way I reacted when he told me about his magic.” “It’s understandable, Arthur .” Arthur nodded, “I thought I knew him…and the whole time he was hiding this huge part of himself. I should have known. W e were…” “You loved each other .” “Yeah,” Arthur said with a soft laugh then sat upright and looked at Gwaine, “He was your best friend too, you really didn’ t feel hurt?” “No, not at all,” Gwaine shook his head, “Merlin kept his secret to protect himself. He lived in fear every day of his life. That is something you and I could never possibly understand. Even before he came to Camelot, he grew up in Essetir…Cenred was well known for imprisoning and enslaving those with magic. He had no chance…stay or leave, he would always be in danger . Coming to Camelot was his best chance at survival. Becoming your servant was his destiny .” Arthur nodded, tears pooling in his eyes, “Y ou’re a wise man, Sir Gwaine.” Gwaine huf fed a laugh, “I’m really not.” “True…but thank you…thank you for being here for me.” “And we owe Merlin for that as well don’ t we.” “What did Mor gana do to you?” “Ah, that nasty snake thing…the same one she used on Elyan to find out you all were going to Ealdor ,” Gwaine shivered. “Gods, I hate snakes.” “I hate spiders…giant hairy spiders,” Arthur muttered. “Definitely hate spiders and snakes. Don’ t mind dragons so much now .” Arthur laughed, “Me neither .” “Still hate W yverns though.” “Gaius thinks I might be able to communicate with Merlin from the Crystal Cave.” “Really?” Gwaine asked his eyes going wide. “I need to try ,” Arthur said, “I need to see him…talk to him.” “Then I am going with you.” “Gwaine,” he shook his head, “I need to go alone.” “You are the king, Arthur , you cannot venture into the V alley of the Fallen Kings alone. Morgana may be dead, but there are still enemies out there who would love your head on a pike.” Arthur looked at Gwaine then nodded, “All right. But only you and me. No one else.” “When do we leave?” “Gaius said he needed to do some research. He has to find a way that I can communicate without magic of my own. There is a chance it will not work at all.” “You were born of magic, do think there is a chance you have some sort of magic?” Arthur laughed, “No, I don’ t think so.” “What is it you really want, Arthur?” “I need to know the part of Merlin he kept hidden. I need to understand.” “So, you can find a way to for give him?” Gwaine asked. “No, I have already for given him.” “Then what are you after?” “Ideally , I want to bring him home,” Arthur lowered his gaze to the floor for a moment then looked at Gwaine. “But if that is not possible, I at least want my child to grow up knowing him. T o know the man who brought peace to Camelot. Is that so insane?” Gwaine shook his head, “No, Arthur , not at all.” “We should sleep, we are going to feel like death in the morning.” “I will go with you to see Gaius. He will give us his remedy then we can work on a plan.” Arthur laid back down on his side staring into the flames and laughed, “The fire.” “What?” “The fire in Jarl’ s fortress, when we faked that fight…the fire that mysteriously started and covered our escape.” Gwaine chuckled, “Merlin…” “Remember what he said, that if it wasn’ t for that fire, we would have all been pushing up daisies.” “Of course. Also explains your recovery from the poisoned arrow in your leg. Y ou were burning up with fever…” “I was dying. And Merlin saved me…again.” Gwaine looked at Arthur intently , “Whatever it takes, we will do right by him. W e will make sure that Merlin is remembered…always. And maybe one day he will return.” “I hope so,” Arthur said then finally drifted of f to sleep. Gwaine passed out soon after . To See Him Again “Gwaine, are you alive?” Arthur asked shaking his knight gently . “What? Oh, yes…alive…still alive,” he jolted awake nearly rolling of f the bed. “That makes one of us,” Arthur winced sitting down on the bed to put on his boots, “My head…” Gwaine stumbled to the hearth stepping into his own boots with surprising agility considering how much he’d had to drink. “Let’ s get to Gaius, he will fix us right up,” he chuckled. “Sounds like you have gone to him many times for the remedy ,” Arthur smirked. “Regular customer .” They blew out the candles and then made their way downstairs where Evoric had breakfast prepared for them. They sat down and ate. Arthur placed a handful of gold coins on the table. “Please, Y our Highness, I cannot accept payment,” Evoric said. “I insist,” Arthur said, “For the mead, the room, and this delicious breakfast.” “Very well, My Lord. Y ou are welcome anytime,” Evoric said then lowered his head, “W e all miss Merlin. He helped me out often with remedies and fixing things. He was a good man.” “Yes, he was,” Arthur nodded. They finished eating and then headed for the palace. After a slight detour to let Gwen know , he was all right and to apologize for abandoning her , they reached the door of the physician’ s chambers. Gwaine knocked and then opened the door . Gaius waved a hand toward the table. “Leon told me to expect you two, remedy is there on the table.” “Thank you, Gaius,” Arthur said drinking his down quickly trying not to smell it first. “Y ep, still as nasty tasting as ever .” “Nectar of the Gods,” Gwaine chuckled, downing his with a flourish. “Gaius, have you found anything?” Arthur asked as he approached the older man. “I was up most of the night and I was able to confirm that the Horn of Cathbhadh will not work for someone who is not a direct blood ancestor .” Arthur said down on the bench, “And the Crystal Cave?” “There is a way to use the crystals to communicate with spirits, but you will need help.” “Magical help?” Arthur asked. “I’m afraid so,” Gaius said, “Y ou will need to retrieve the Crystal of Neahtid from the vaults of Camelot and return it to the Crystal Cave from which it came.” “That doesn’ t sound too dif ficult,” Gwaine said as he sat down on a bench across from Arthur . “Yes, well, that is the easy part, I am afraid. Before you return it, you must enhance its power .” “And just how do I do that?” Arthur asked. “It must be infused with magic from a high priestess.” Arthur ’s face fell, “That is obviously out of the question.” “The only other option is the Great Dragon,” Gaius said. “Good, I need to speak with Kilgharrah anyway . Is there a way that I can call him to me?” “There is a spell, but I am not certain I have enough power . I am willing to try , Arthur .” Arthur knew from the look in Gaius’ eyes that this spell would take a lot out of him to perform. “Gaius, would it harm you? I will not ask you to do it if it will.” “It will not be easy , but I will do it for Merlin…for you.” “Is there another way? I will not do anything that will put you at risk.” Gaius thought for a moment then his eyes widened, “Of course, your sword, Arthur . It was forged by Kilgharrah. It holds his power . You can use it to call him.” “Great, tell me what I need to do.” “Arthur , please don’ t go alone,” Gwen said as Arthur packed his bags. “Guinevere, Gwaine is going with me, I won’ t be alone,” he said stopping what he was doing to embrace her . “There is no need to worry . With Mor gana dead and the Saxons scattered there is little threat right now . I must do this. Please understand. If I have a chance to see Merlin, to speak with him, I need to try . There is so much I need him to know and things that I must know to protect Camelot. T o keep the peace for our child.” Gwen shook her head, “I just do not want to lose you, Arthur . I cannot raise our child alone.” “I love you, Guinevere, I will return. I promise you.” “All right,” she finally relented, “Just promise me that if you speak to Merlin, tell him how much he means to me and how grateful I am for everything he did.” “I will tell him,” Arthur smiled then kissed her before resuming packing. There was a knock on the door . Gwen went to answer it. Gwaine stepped inside the room and she gave him a look... “Y ou will take care of him,” she said. “Upon my life, I will protect Arthur , My Lady ,” Gwaine said then he approached Arthur with an object in a leather pouch. “Is this what we need?” he asked as he opened it and pulled out the Crystal of Neahtid. Arthur had not laid eyes on it since they brought it back to Camelot all those years ago. “That’ s it,” Arthur sheathed his sword, kissed Gwen then nodded, “Let’ s go.” They made their way out of the castle to find Leon and Percival waiting in the courtyard with their horses. “Thank you,” Arthur smiled, climbing onto his horse while Gwaine secured the crystal in his saddlebag then mounted his own horse. “Arthur , are you sure this is wise?” Leon asked. “It is something I have to do, Leon. Please understand.” “I do, just it isn’ t safe out there.” “I will take care of him, I promise,” Gwaine said. “Courage and Strength,” Percival said with a nod then reached up to grasp Arthur ’s forearm, “Godspeed, both of you.” Arthur nodded then turned his horse, heading for the drawbridge with Gwaine close behind. They crossed over it and then headed toward the clearing Gaius told them about. The place where Merlin used to sneak of f to call Kilgharrah for help. It was already mid-morning and they still had far to go to reach the Crystal Cave. As soon as they reached the clearing, Arthur dismounted, drew his sword, and stepped into the clearing. He held the sword out in front of him, resting flat across both hands then closed his eyes focusing all his light and ener gy into the blade then, tilting his head back, he shouted. “Kilgharrah, Great Dragon, I wish to speak with you. In the name of Merlin, The Last Dragonlord, please come to me. Hear your king, Kilgharrah…” “Did it work?” Gwaine asked keeping his voice low . “I don’ t know ,” Arthur shook his head. “Maybe you should say it again.” “What if he is too far away?” Arthur asked. Gwaine held up a hand, “Listen…” They both heard the familiar sound of massive wings and looked up as Kilgharrah came over the hill. He landed in the clearing just a few feet from the king. “King Arthur…Sir Gwaine, you called for me,” the dragon said. “I did,” Arthur said then sheathed his sword, “I have a favor to ask of you.” “A favor?” Kilgharrah asked a curious glint in his golden eyes. “Yes, I must speak with Merlin. Gaius said there is a chance that I can reach him in the Crystal Cave, but I need you to enhance the magic of the Crystal of Neahtid so that I may do so.” “I see,” the dragon said, “Might I ask why you wish to speak with Merlin?” Arthur nodded, “There are things I need answers to, and things I need him to know . Will you help me? Please.” “Very well,” Kilgharrah said, “Bring me the crystal, but you should know , Arthur , Merlin may not want to be summoned.” “Why?” Arthur asked, shaking his head, “Why would he not want to come to me?” “Arthur , Merlin gave his life for you. He would want you to live, to move on.” “I can’ t do that,” Arthur shook his head, his voice breaking, “Not until I say what I need to say to him. I need to see him one last time. He died not knowing how I feel about him.” Kilgharrah raised his head and looked at Gwaine then back to Arthur . He let out a breath, a puff of smoke and flame. “Great King, there are things Merlin did that he may not want you to know .” “If you’re referring to the fact that it was Merlin who set you free? I figured that out for myself. So, you see I am not a complete idiot.” Kilgharrah let out a chuckle, “Y ou definitely are not.” “Will you help me then?” “I will help you, King Arthur ,” Kilgharrah said. He watched as Gwaine stepped forward with the Crystal of Neahtid in his hand. “Place it on the ground then step back.” Gwaine did as he said before moving to stand next to Arthur . The dragon lowered his head and opened his mouth breathing a heatless golden flame over the crystal. It began to glow with a light so bright that Arthur and Gwaine had to look away . “It is done.” “Thank you,” Arthur said. “In the center of the Crystal Cave, you will find a pool of water . Place the crystal in the water and focus on Merlin. I trust Gaius told you what to say .” “He did,” Gwaine nodded. “If Merlin chooses not to appear to you, Arthur , you will not try again. Promise me.” Arthur lowered his gaze to the crystal for a moment then looked up at Kilgharrah again. “If Merlin chooses not to come to me, I will let him be. I promise.” “The magic I have infused into the crystal will destroy it if you attempt the summoning a second time. It will shatter , obliterating everything within its reach. It will sever any connection between the Crystal Cave and A valon, the repercussions of which would be far worse than the tear in the veil that released the Doracha.” Arthur and Gwaine looked at each other as that memory took hold. Neither of them wanted to relive that nightmare. They had nearly lost Merlin, then they did lose Lancelot. “I swear to you, I will perform the summoning only once,” Arthur said. “Good, then I bid you farewell, King Arthur…Sir Gwaine,” Kilgharrah said then moved away preparing to fly . “Wait, please, Kilgharrah,” Arthur said. The dragon turned back to look at him. “Please, tell me, do you know what happens now that Merlin changed our destiny by dying in my place? I was meant to return one day . Does that mean Merlin will too?” Kilgharrah shook his head, “I do not know , Arthur . The prophecies were written centuries before you and Merlin were even born. They all ended with your death and Merlin being immortal. What he did forever altered not only your fate but the fates of all those around you. What will happen remains to be seen. No one can say if he will return.” “Perhaps I can call on you again,” Arthur said, “I am certain you miss him too.” “I would like that, Arthur ,” the dragon said then launched into the air and flew away , vanishing over the hills. Gwaine picked up the crystal placing it back inside the leather pouch. They made their way back to the horses in silence until they were in the saddle, heading toward the V alley of the Fallen Kings. “Arthur , did Merlin ever tell you what happened to him after the two of you were separated by the rock fall that day? When the bandits took him. When we found him, he was not himself.” “He never spoke of it again.” “I could not help but wonder if Mor gana had him and he escaped. Especially knowing now that he had magic.” “He would not have risked using magic to escape from her . She would have realized he was Emrys. I am certain she did not know who he was until Mordred told her after he left Camelot. That is why she sent that creature to steal his magic.” “Makes sense,” Gwaine nodded, “I cannot begin to imagine how terrified he must have been to lose something that was such a part of him…something he had always been able to rely on from the day he was born. It is no wonder he panicked when those bandits attacked us in the Valley of the Fallen Kings when I was taking him to the Crystal Cave.” “I always wondered why , even when he was so clearly scared, he never lost faith that we would prevail no matter what we faced. I guess now I know why…he had his magic.” “No, Arthur ,” Gwaine smiled, “He had faith in you. Magic needed you as much as you needed Magic. Merlin’ s mother said it best…you were two sides of the same coin.” Arthur glanced over at Gwaine and nodded, “Thank you for coming on this journey with me.” “Nowhere else I would rather be.” “Do you think the dragon is right? That Merlin may not want to come to me?” Gwaine thought for a moment then shook his head, “All I know is Merlin loved you. I think he will want to see you again as much as you want to see him.” “There is so much I need to say , and I have no idea how long I will have to say it. When I summoned my father , I had little time before he told me I must go or risk being trapped in the world of the dead. Then I made the mistake of looking back as the veil closed releasing his spirit into this world. It was his ghost that hurt Percival and Guinevere, damaged the Round Table. Merlin and I had to hunt him down to send him back. He nearly killed Merlin, pinned him to a door in the armory with two spears. I blew the horn and right before he vanished, he tried to say something about Merlin. I think he was going to tell me about his magic. He must have used magic to fight my father after he knocked me out.” “Ah yes, poetry ,” Gwaine chuckled. “What?” “Oh, Leon told us how he found you and Merlin alone, sneaking around the castle in the dark. Arthur scof fed, “What did you all think we were doing?” “Poetry of course,” Gwaine grinned, wagging his eyebrows. “I never…could never let myself have…” Arthur said his voice trailing of f. “You are an honorable man, Arthur . You would never betray Gwen or hurt Merlin.” “Yes, but it did not stop me from wondering what it would be like,” Arthur blushed. He fell silent as they rode through a narrow ravine following the brook. Gwaine knew he needed to keep him talking. “Tell me more about when you and Merlin first met.” “You’re just trying to keep me talking,” Arthur said narrowing his eyes. “Well, either you talk, or I will, and we both know how much you enjoy my mindless chatter ,” Gwaine laughed. “Come on, tell me. I really want to know .” “Fine,” the king smirked. “I was not of ficially the Crown Prince yet, and needless to say I was a bit of a bully…an ass, as Merlin called me that day .” “Sounds about right,” Gwaine chuckled. “You want to hear this or not?” “Sorry , Sire, do go on.” “My servant prior to Merlin, his name was Morris…dull, spineless, and what Merlin would call a bootlicker . I was on the training grounds with my equally bootlicking friends at the time. I was showing of f and I may have been throwing knives at the tar get my servant was carrying as he tried to place it for me. He lost his hold on it and the tar get rolled across the ground and fell at Merlin’ s feet, he placed his boot on it and says to me that’ s enough that I’d had my fun.” You’ve had your fun, my friend… Those words brought both a smile and tears. Arthur swiped them away and told Gwaine the rest of their first interactions leaving his knight laughing so hard that he could barely breathe. “You asked him if he knew how to walk on his knees?” Gwaine asked, fighting of f another wave of laughter . “I did,” Arthur said unable to hold back a smirk. “You really were an ass,” Gwaine chuckled. “Yes, and Merlin was quite adept at pointing out my flaws and telling me when I was being an idiot. He was the only person to ever do so and get away with it. T ruthfully , it is the reason I kept him around. He never failed to challenge me when I was doing the wrong thing or encouraged me when I was doubting myself. He created a damn sword for me of all things. Gods, Gwaine I did not deserve him.” “The way I see it, you needed him in your life. Y ou were surrounded by people who only told you what you wanted to hear and would never stand up to you when you were being a prat.” “Yes, and then you came along,” Arthur laughed, “Y ou and your hatred of nobles. Why is that anyway? Y ou never told me.” “No one knows, save for Merlin.” “You may as well tell me now .” “If I tell you I will have to kill you,” Gwaine said, and Arthur laughed. “My father was a knight in Caerleon’ s army . A noble. Fought and died for the king and yet when my mother went to him for help, he turned her away . As soon as I was old enough, I left home and made a living doing whatever I could. I would go back home and leave money with her every chance I got. Until the day I went back to find that she had died, and my heartless sister was gone…married some noble in another kingdom.” “I am so sorry , Gwaine.” Gwaine shook his head and smiled sadly , “That day I met you and Merlin in the tavern…I had just come from there. I had planned to drink myself into a stupor . Instead, I met this courageous and stupid man who started a fight he could not win and his best friend who dragged my wounded arse back to Camelot and gave me a reason to keep fighting.” Arthur nodded, “And ended up saving my life again. I could have made you a knight if you had told me the truth. My father would have overturned his decision easily if he had known.” “I could not have served under a king like Uther ,” Gwaine said, “I am proud to serve you, Arthur . You stood up for me against your father and I have never for gotten that.” “When Merlin went to you for help after I left for the Perilous Lands, you agreed to help because of him, not me. I knew that. Y ou were a good friend to him. I think you serve me because of him more than out of duty to me.” “Merlin was the first and only true friend I’d ever had,” Gwaine said, “I think we bonded over the fact that neither of us really knew our fathers and grew up without them in our lives. What was Merlin’ s father like?” Arthur let out a breath, “I didn’ t get a chance to really know him before he was killed by one of Cenred’ s men. But what I saw was a man who had survived against all odds and was strong, brave, and far more powerful than I ever could have imagined…like father like son…” “Yes,” Gwaine nodded, “What would you have done…if Merlin had told you about his magic sooner?” “I have asked myself that question a hundred times, Gwaine, and I am ashamed to say I still do not know the answer . All I know for certain is that I could never have let him die. Even in the beginning, I would have protected him, or at least I would like to believe I would have. Gods, my father has been so wrong about so much. I wish I could repair all the damage his hatred has done.” “The Great Pur ge began when you were born and your mother died,” Gwaine said. “Yes,” Arthur said. “And Merlin…he was born of magic…was magic…and he was a few years younger than you.” “What are you getting at?” “When Merlin destroyed Mor gana, what his magic did, healing us and Kilgharrah. God knows what else it touched…all that power , it had to come from somewhere. The magic released in the Great Pur ge, from the slaughtering of sorcerers…what if Merlin was born of that magic?” “If that is true,” Arthur ’s eyes widened, “Then why would he be destined to protect me, the son of the king who was responsible for the Great Pur ge…essentially the reason for it?” “You were born of magic, Merlin was born with magic,” Gwaine said, “T wo sides of the same coin…together you would bring balance. Build a world of peace and end the war on magic.” Arthur stared at his knight for a moment. “When did you become such a deep thinker ,” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow . Gwaine chuckled and shook his head, “I’m just putting the pieces together .” Arthur frowned, “I did not deserve him. I was blind to his deeds and his suf fering…just as I was to Mor gana’ s. I could have saved her…I should have saved him.” “Mor gana was beyond saving, Arthur . Her hatred was born of fear . That changes a person to their very core. She held me captive enough, I got to know her quite well. Behind those beautiful, haunted eyes was a soul filled with pain, bitterness, and rage that no one could have overcome. I would bet my life that Merlin tried, and if he could not save her , what chance did you have?” “You’re probably right,” Arthur said, “They were once friends, you know . Merlin and Morgana…there was a time when I thought, they were more. But then something happened that caused a rift between them. Something changed after Mor gause and the Knights of Medhir attacked Camelot. She put all the people to sleep, only Mor gana was still awake… now I know why . Then something happened, the knights stopped and Mor gause took her away . We searched for more than a year . When we finally found her and brought her home, Merlin was visibly shaken. It was as if he did not want her back in Camelot.” “I’m sure he had good reason.” “Yes, I am certain he did. I just wish I knew the truth. I will probably never know everything.” “Probably not, and the dragon did say there were things Merlin did...that could be one of them.” “I didn’ t know at the time that Mor gana was my half-sister ,” Arthur shook his head, “I am not certain when she learned the truth, but I believe it was that knowledge that made her turn against our father . She became so twisted, a dark vengeful witch, determined to take back her birthright.” “Uther was at fault, not you, Arthur . And definitely not Merlin. Whatever he did, he did out of love for you and Camelot. The choice he made that day to stop her , it was made for the very same reason. He saw no other way out.” Arthur swiped at his eyes again and nodded, “I know .” “We will reach the Crystal Cave soon. It is not much farther . We should set up camp for the night and wait until morning to use the crystal?” “That’ s probably wise,” Arthur said, “I want to be rested and thinking clearly when I do this. We only have one shot at it.” “I know a good spot, not far from the cave. W e can set up camp there and take a look inside before we do anything.” They rode down into a ravine that looked vaguely familiar to Arthur . As they got of f the horses, he remembered. It was the day bandits had chased him and Merlin. He’d been shot in the back with an arrow , the bandits were on top of them. Y et Merlin had not only fended them of f somehow but healed him from what easily could have been a fatal wound. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked as he got the fire going, “Are you all right?” “Yes, it’ s just I have been here before…with Merlin. W e were running from bandits, and I was shot in the back with an arrow . Merlin told me it did not pierce my armor , but I remember now .” “What else can you remember?” “I could hear Merlin talking to me. Just flashes of memory , I remember hearing him crying. At one point I heard him talking to someone, but there was no one else there. It makes no sense,” Arthur said shaking his head. “When I woke up the next morning, I was healed, and Merlin was behaving oddly . He seemed traumatized by something.” “Something he saw in the Crystal Cave,” Gwaine said knowingly . “It is said that the Crystal of Neahtid had the power to show the future. If it came from the cave…” “Merlin’ s magic allowed him to see the future through the crystals in the cave. It would explain why he was so upset.” “Merlin must have seen something about Mor gana. It was shortly after we returned to Camelot, she left her chambers late one night and somehow ended up falling down the stairs fracturing her skull. She was dying then inexplicably healed…Merlin must have healed her . He healed her despite knowing what she would become. He could have just let her die.” Gwaine looked down at the fire, “Merlin still had hope that he would be able to help her . He must have known that she was your sister .” “I remember telling him that I would give up my place on the throne for her to see another sunrise,” Arthur said, “He saved her life because I wanted her to live. W e grew up together and I loved her as a sister . I could not bear the thought of losing her . Everything Merlin did was for me. He tried to save my father too. But Mor gana interfered in the spell, he died and Merlin…the guilt he must have felt. He risked so much.” “I still can’ t believe that old sorcerer was Merlin all along,” Gwaine huf fed a laugh. “It is no wonder he kept his secret from me, even after my father was gone. I lashed out and tried to kill him. Then later , when he came to me as himself, I told him I had lost both my parents to magic…that it was pure evil, and I would never lose sight of that again. I was essentially telling Merlin that he was pure evil.” “And if your father had lived…do you really believe things would have changed for Merlin?” “No, I would not have been able to free magic until I became king. He would have still had to hide who he was.” “And yet Merlin still tried to save Uther knowing full well that either way he would have to continue to live in the shadows,” Gwaine said shaking his head. “He could have done nothing and just let my father die…it would have been easier and safer for him to do so. Merlin risked everything to help me because I asked him to. Just as he did with Mor gana. I was angry at him for keeping his magic a secret and yet I never gave him a reason to trust me with that secret.” “All that matters is that you accepted him in the end. Now , sit down here and eat something, then get some rest,” Gwaine said. “No, not yet. I need to see the cave. Where is the entrance?” Gwaine got up, grabbed his sword then headed down a path. “This way ,” he said, and Arthur followed him. They walked into the mouth of the cave. Gwaine found a discarded torch and lit it. They climbed up over the rocks, moving deeper into the cavern until they emer ged into a wide-open area filled with glowing crystals. “Gwaine, return to camp, keep watch I need to be alone,” Arthur said. Gwaine nodded and went to pass him the torch, but he refused it. “You won’ t be able to see your way out of here.” “And neither will you if I take the torch.” “Fine, I will come back for you in a little while,” Gwaine said. “Thank you again, Gwaine…for being here with me. I am not sure I could have faced this on my own.” “You’re welcome,” he said then made his way back out of the cave leaving Arthur alone. Arthur sat down on the ground in the center of the crystals and closed his eyes. Even without magic, he could feel the power emanating from them. Merlin had come here to regain his magic after Mor gana’ s creature stole it from him. Arthur could imagine him there, injured, and scared…trapped because of the cave-in caused by Mor gana. “Merlin, can you hear me,” Arthur asked, tears pooling in his eyes, “I miss you. I need to see you again, to talk to you. There is so much I need to say . So much I have to make up for . Merlin, please…” Arthur sat in silence listening. He heard the trickle of water as it ran down the wall of the cave into the crystal-clear pool where they would place the Crystal of Neahtid for the summoning. He was tempted to go back to camp, get the crystal and perform it now , but his mind was foggy . He wanted to be rested and focused. “Is anyone there,” he asked receiving no response. “I will return tomorrow ,” Arthur got to his feet and headed toward the mouth of the cave. He was able to see well enough without the torch and reached the entrance just as Gwaine came through. “Are you all right?” he asked. “I will be tomorrow , if this works,” Arthur said stepping out into the night. Gwaine hesitated a moment glancing back up toward the crystals. He feared what would happen if Merlin refused to appear . Arthur would be devastated. “Merlin, Arthur needs you, my friend. Please, do not refuse him when he summons you,” Gwaine said then followed his king. Arthur woke at dawn, but he let Gwaine sleep a little longer while he went over the words Gaius had written down. At least it was not the language of the Old Religion. He wondered if it would even work. What if nothing happened? W ould that mean it failed or that Merlin refused to come through? “Did you get any sleep at all?” Gwaine asked as he sat up rubbing his eyes. “I did…a few hours here and there.” “You are exhausted.” “I’ll sleep for a week after I see Merlin and talk to him.” Gwaine studied him closely . “Are you sure you will be able to move on if Merlin refuses to show?” “I cannot think about that possibility right now ,” Arthur said then got up, retrieving the Crystal of Neahtid from Gwaine’ s saddlebag. “I’m going to do this now .” “I’m coming with you,” Gwaine said then pulled on his boots, grabbed the torch, lit it in the fire, and followed his king. The sun was just coming over the crest of the hill, its golden rays filtering through the trees, illuminating the mouth of the cave. They stepped inside and then climbed up to the crystals. Looking around, Gwaine nodded toward the pool. “That must be it,” he said. Arthur nodded approaching it as he slipped the crystal from the leather pouch and dropped to his knees in front of the pool. He placed it in the water and then looked at Gwaine. He took a breath before reading the words on the parchment. When he finished, he stood up and stepped back. At first, nothing happened, but a moment later a low hum began. It grew louder , the crystal began to vibrate in the water causing ripples on the surface. “Merlin,” Arthur said his voice pleading. He did not care if he had to beg, he would do it. “Merlin, I need you…please,” he said. He saw Gwaine step back a bit. “Scared?” he asked him with a slight smile. “No, not at all,” Gwaine smirked, though his eyes were wide. “Arthur ,” a deep voice reverberated of f the walls that was definitely not Merlin. Arthur turned around to see a familiar bearded figure standing a few feet away . “Balinor…” he said. The man was solid but had a bluish light around him. “King Arthur ,” Balinor smiled fondly , “He said you would come.” “Merlin? Where is he? Please, I need to see him…speak with him.” “In due time,” Balinor said, “There is something you need to see first.” “If Merlin is afraid, he does not have to be.” Balinor nodded, stepping closer , “Great King, there are many things my son was forced to do of which he is not proud. After you see what I am about to show you, if you still want to speak to him, he will come through the veil.” Arthur nodded, “So, be it, but there is nothing you can show me that will change my mind.” “Very well,” Balinor said then stepped back waving a hand toward the lar gest of the crystals and suddenly there were images. Gwaine put out the torch and then moved to stand with Arthur . “W atch, Arthur…” the older man nodded, and the images moved through the crystals. Arthur inhaled sharply as he saw moments from Merlin’ s life flashing before his eyes. From before he came to Camelot, his mother ’s letter to Gaius. He smiled as he saw a happy , carefree Merlin walking along the road, arriving in Camelot only to witness a beheading of a sorcerer first thing. “I would have turned tail and run if that were my first experience in Camelot, and I don’ t even have magic,” Gwaine said. Arthur shook his head, “But he stayed.” He kept his eyes on the crystals taking it all in. Their first meeting…their fight, then the banquet hall, the falling chandelier , and time visibly slowing while Merlin pulled Arthur out of the path of the witch’ s dagger . Valiant and the snakes, Nimueh and the poison that Merlin drank to save him, the light orb in the cave, Lancelot and the Grif fin, Edwin trying to kill his father , and Merlin saving him. Sophia, Aulfric, Kanen, and the bandits in Ealdor…the wind that turned the battle. Arthur saw the unicorn and Anhora, The Questing Beast, and the battle with Nimueh, Merlin was hit by a ball of fire, lying on the ground only to get to his feet and draw lightning from the sky , killing Nimueh. He was shocked to see the beast he had wounded, had actually been Freya…Freya from the Lake of A valon. Merlin had loved her . She died in Merlin’ s arms on the shore of the lake. Arthur had taken away the one person Merlin found who could understand him…accept him for who he truly was…love him the way he deserved to be loved. Even that did not compare to the shock of seeing the image of Merlin poisoning Mor gana and his releasing of the Great Dragon and the moment he learned who his father was before they set out on their quest to find Balinor . The moment Balinor learned who Merlin was and seeing them together by the fire while Arthur slept. The depth of emotion in Merlin’ s face when his father said good night to him for the first…and last…time in his life. Balinor ’s death and the overwhelming grief in Merlin’ s eyes…how he had struggled to hide it from Arthur who’d told him no man was worth his tears. Then the confrontation with the dragon and Merlin realizing his powers as a Dragonlord, speaking to Kilgharrah in a voice that sent shivers all through Arthur ’s body . The images continued and Arthur had no idea how he managed to absorb all of it, it had to be the magic enabling him to grasp and understand each and every moment as they flashed quickly . He laughed aloud when he saw Merlin release the Goblin. Then remembered his donkey ears and braying and his father ’s bald head the flatulence… “Should have known he was responsible for that,” he smirked. “Sorry I missed that one,” Gwaine chuckled. The images continued through the years everything from Elena being a changeling, to yet more of Mor gana’ s deception and the bizarre and quite frightening Manticore which Merlin fought. It was the stuf f of nightmares. Then the discovery of Arthur and Guinevere’ s relationship and Merlin changing into the old sorcerer to clear her name only to nearly end up burned on the pyre himself. The young sorcerer who fought Uther in the tournament. Merlin befriending the boy and trying to teach him the right way to use magic. It's...lonely . To...be mor e powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow . To...be special and…and have to pr etend you'r e a fool. I know how it feels, I understand. “Merlin,” Arthur shook his head watching the scene. Merlin with a flame burning in the palm of his hand, revealing his true self to this boy in an attempt to convince him not to fight. “Gods, you should never have been made to feel that way .” The next scenes were of their quest to find the Cup of Life. Then the loss of Camelot and Morgana crowned queen, slaughtering its citizens in her lust for power . Her telling their father that she hated him. Merlin retrieving the sword from the Lake of A valon to save Camelot from the immortal Army by spilling the blood from the Cup of Life, the Doracha, the death of Uther , and Merlin saving the dragon’ s egg from the tomb of Ashkanar and hatching the white dragon into the world…her name was Aithusa. The battle with Queen Annis and her giant and watching Merlin’ s eyes flash gold as he helped Arthur in the fight when Mor gana’ s spell made his sword impossible to wield. Then came the moment both he and Gwaine had wondered about. Merlin restrained, hanging by his arms in Mor gana’ s hovel in pain and soaking wet. Mor gana putting the head of a damn snake in the back of his neck commanding him to kill Arthur . Followed by Merlin’ s many failed attempts to obey her . It was then that something occurred to Gwaine. “Arthur , when we found him, he was covered in mud from head to toe and you hugged him anyway . Was that the only time you ever showed him af fection? Every time prior , at the Fisher King’ s castle, after he survived the Doracha, you never embraced him like that.” “No,” Arthur shook his head, “He tried to hug me once and I refused.” “You do realize that the one and only time you ever hugged him he was under Mor gana’ s control. It is likely that he never even remembered it.” Arthur lowered his gaze and let out a breath, “Y ou are right, Gwaine. I kept him at arms- length, but not for the reason you think.” “Oh, I know why ,” Gwaine smirked. “Enlighten me then,” Arthur said. “Because you knew , if you gave into those feelings, that there would be no turning back.” “I loved him…” “And he loved you. He was Mor gana’ s prisoner ,” Gwaine said, “She was controlling Merlin, and yet every assassination attempt failed almost comically . That tells me Merlin’ s magic was protecting you even though he was not in control.” Arthur nodded, “I have no doubt. He was incapacitated and dying when he sent that light to me in the cave when I went in search of the Mortaeus flower .” The battle between Mor gana and Old Merlin was brutal. Arthur was stunned to see the raw power of his sister and his best friend and knew full well that Merlin could have killed her at any time. He had been holding back. Gwaine was surprised too, letting out a gasp when Merlin swept her up in a mighty whirlwind tossing her like a ragdoll. Then destroying the Fomorrah freeing himself from her control only to return to Camelot and find himself forced into a training session with Geor ge. “Oh, now that was just plain cruel, Arthur ,” Gwaine laughed, “Poor Merlin.” “I thought it was funny at the time,” Arthur said, “But not so much now that I know what he went through. I feel like such a fool…a selfish idiot.” The images flashed faster , the Lamia then the return of Lancelot who had not actually been Lancelot, but a shade sent by Mor gana to interfere in his and Guinevere’ s wedding. Arthur was relieved to know the truth…to know his friend Lancelot had not actually betrayed him. He chuckled as he saw Merlin’ s little pranks on him while Mithian was in Camelot. The spilling of the soup, the uncontrollable burping. “Jealous, Merlin,” Gwaine laughed heartily . “Jealous, no, he was just upset that I was moving on from Guinevere.” “No, my friend, that was pure jealousy because he was watching the man he loved with yet another beautiful woman,” Gwaine smirked. “Don’ t be ridiculous, Gwaine,” Arthur shook his head then watched the images from the hunt and the deer which had been an enchanted Guinevere. He saw Merlin’ s eyes flash gold and the arrow he had shot went wide only for Mithian to fire and hit her . He felt sick to his stomach. Merlin had ridden out in the night alone to find her…healed her with his magic. “Merlin…” Arthur choked. Then came the deception of Agravaine, Arthur wanted to punch something as he saw all that his uncle had done. He had been working with Mor gana from the start. Undermining his authority at every turn. The kidnapping of Gaius, yet another time when Arthur should have listened to Merlin and did not. Merlin using magic to turn him into a simpleton and putting him in those ridiculous clothes. Then an image of Merlin calling Kilgharrah and the dragon wiping out the majority of Agravaine’ s army . Gwaine let out an impressed whistle and Arthur wanted to see it again… there was just something about Merlin’ s dragon powers…the deep, resonating, almost animalistic tone to his voice. Next came the image that confirmed Arthur ’s fears. Merlin in the tunnels, facing Agravaine and what was left of his army and being forced to use his magic to kill them all. “Merlin did kill Agravaine,” Arthur said. “I should have listened to him when he tried to tell me that my uncle was working against me. Merlin should not have been put in that position…I let him go back there alone. It should have been me to face him. I should never have trusted my uncle.” “Agravaine was your family , it is understandable that you would trust him.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “I should have learned from Mor gana’ s betrayal that family means nothing. Even my father betrayed me in so many ways. It was Merlin, all these years… Merlin who I should have trusted fully , he was my other half…my friend, my family , and more.” “More?” Gwaine grinned. “Shut up,” Arthur rolled his eyes. The next image was Arthur pulling the sword from the stone, the golden light, and the pride in Merlin’ s eyes as he’d helped Arthur to believe in himself again. Merlin sneaking back into the citadel planting some magical object under Mor gana’ s bed that had rendered her temporarily powerless. Now , he knew the meaning behind her comment about Emrys. How wrong she had been, because Emrys was right there in front of her all along, protecting Arthur . Merlin had saved them yet again and they had retaken Camelot and Mor gana disappeared. As the images moved on into the last year , before the battle at Camlann, Arthur saw for the first time just how hard it had been for Merlin. How weighed down and unhappy he had become, rarely smiling. T ears filled his eyes as he saw Merlin fighting every single damn day to keep him alive. The worst was seeing him dying alone on the forest floor after being poisoned by Mor gana and thrown over a clif f only to recover with the help of that boy and then they returned to Camelot in time to save Arthur from the Sarrum’ s assassin. An assassin Guinevere ordered. Seeing her now , knowing it was her all along trying to kill him because of Mor gana’ s ritual. He could barely breathe as he saw Merlin’ s tears after he had uttered the deep guttural words to heal Arthur from the poison, once again saving his king. Then saving Guinevere from Mor gana’ s curse, becoming The Dolma to do so, because he could not use magic in front of Arthur . “Oh, Merlin,” Arthur gasped. The rest was a blur , the betrayal of Mordred, the creature that stole Merlin’ s magic, his goodbye to Gwaine, the confrontation between him and Mor gana in the cave, and Merlin healing. Regaining his magic in time to warn Arthur using the crystals. When it was all over, Arthur and Gwaine stood frozen in place struggling to grasp it all. “Gwaine, I saw the look in your eyes when you and Merlin parted. Y ou knew…” Arthur turned to him and shook his head. “Not exactly , I wondered if he had magic, but I never knew for certain. Just something inside me knew that would be the last time I would see Merlin. I felt it, deep in my soul, that one or both of us would not survive.” Arthur watched the last of the images. The moment Merlin told him he had magic…that he was a sorcerer . He was ashamed as Gwaine watched his reaction expecting to feel his knight’ s judgment. “You took it better than I thought you would,” Gwaine said with a huf f. “Yes, well, I am not proud of that. I should have been more understanding…what it took for him to finally tell me his deepest secret.” The last scene was the moment Merlin sacrificed himself and as it faded away they both stood there silent and stunned. “Do you understand,” Balinor asked as he stepped forward, “Why Merlin is afraid?” Arthur shook his head, “It does not matter…none of it matters, Balinor . I want…I need to see Merlin…to talk to him.” “Then you can for give my son?” Balinor asked. “No,” Arthur said, “There is nothing to for give. It is I who needs to make amends for what I did, for how I treated him. I need to ask him to for give me.” “Arthur…” Merlin’ s voice came from all around them, and Arthur smiled. “Merlin, thank God,” he let out a breathy laugh, “Merlin, please, I need you to show yourself to me…you have nothing to fear .” Balinor stepped back revealing Merlin standing just behind him, an uneasy smile on his face. Arthur stared at him unable to believe he was really there. Merlin came closer , like his father , there was a bluish glow around him, but he was solid…he was there. He reached out a hand to touch the face of his king, but all Arthur could feel was a warm tingling sensation. His heart sank as he had hoped to be able to touch Merlin. “I am so glad to see you,” Arthur breathed out. “You really came,” Merlin said, “I mean, I hoped, but I wasn’ t sure how you felt about magic after everything.” “I need to feel you,” Arthur choked. It was a struggle to find the words, to get out what he needed to say before Merlin went away again. “I’m afraid that’ s not possible, but I am here, Arthur .” “Merlin, for give me…there is so much I did not know . Things you went through. The loss of your father , Freya, W ill…I am so sorry I was not there for you all those times you needed me. I am sorry I let you be captured and tortured by Mor gana. I am sorry for the hurtful thing I said to you before Camlann, you are not a coward, and you were always the bravest man I ever met. I was stupid and selfish; I should have seen that you were in trouble.” “You had a war looming, I never blamed you for that. If it makes you feel any better , I cheated at dice in the tavern that night when I took all your money ,” Merlin gave him a cheeky grin. “Not the first time is it,” Arthur chuckled. “Gaius told you what happened? Why I had to leave?” “We pieced it together ,” Arthur glanced at Gwaine, “Gaius just confirmed it.” Merlin then looked at Gwaine, “Hello, Gwaine!” “Merlin,” Gwaine smiled through his own tears, “I miss you, my friend. Thank you for bringing me back from the dead.” “Anytime,” Merlin smiled then turned back to Arthur . “I tried so hard to get to you before Mordred could…” Merlin said lowering his gaze, “Kilgharrah warned me long ago when Mordred first came to Camelot…he said I should let him die or kill him myself and I just could not do it. Mor gana…what she became was all my fault.” “None of it was your fault and I am proud of you for not acting on the dragon’ s warnings. Mordred deserved to live…he deserved a chance to choose his own path and he did so. If anything, I pushed him right into Mor gana’ s waiting arms.” Merlin nodded, “Y ou…me…Mor gana…Mordred…our destinies were entwined. Everything happened because I lost sight of my humanity and made choices that I should not have made. If I had reached out to Mor gana and Mordred…if I had told you about my magic sooner… Arthur shook his head, “W e haven’ t much time, Merlin, I do not want to dwell on the past. The magic in the crystal will not last much longer . Gods, I want so badly to hold you in my arms right now , to tell you…” “I know , Arthur ,” Merlin smiled fondly . “No, I need to tell you,” Arthur said with tears sliding down his face, “I love you, Merlin. I love you more than I can ever say . I am sorry I buried my feelings for you. I was scared…” “Arthur ,” Merlin grinned, “I love you too. From the moment we met, I think.” “You called me an ass,” Arthur chuckled through his tears. “And a prat,” Merlin smiled, “But there is no one I would have rather served. I told you, I was born to serve you, Arthur , and I am so damn proud of that. I would not change a single thing.” “Oh, Guinevere is with child,” Arthur said, “I’m going to be a father . She wanted me to thank you for all you did for her as well.” Merlin beamed, “That makes me very happy . Knowing your child will grow up with both parents in a kingdom of peace. Just promise you won’ t name him after me…or her .” “There will always only be one Merlin in my life,” Arthur smiled, tears pooling in his eyes. “You are the other half of my soul and I feel so lost without you by my side. I should have told you long ago what you mean to me, Merlin.” “I think I knew . Sometimes the way you looked at me…I felt it. Even when you were throwing things and calling me names. Arthur chuckled, “Horseplay…” “I didn’ t mind really .” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, what you did…what you lost…your magic and your life. I was meant to die, not you. Do you even know what your sacrifice did to the prophecies? What will happen now? W ill you return one day , as I was meant to?” “Arthur , I did what I had to do to make sure you lived. Y ou are the king; I was but a servant. I would make the same decision all over again. My magic will never be completely gone as it is a part of my soul. As far as the prophecies…I do not know any more now than I did in life, except that you will live on to be the king I always dreamed you would be. And you have Gwen and soon a child. Remember me, live for me, be happy and tell everyone back in Camelot that I am all right. I am at peace.” Arthur brought his hands up trying to feel Merlin there, but he was just ener gy…magic. “I want you back,” he said softly . Merlin’ s eyes glistened as he appeared to be crying, “Arthur , please do not feel sadness or grief any longer . I am and always will be a part of you. Look after Gaius for me, tell him I’m sorry for leaving him. T ell my mother that I love her and that I am with my father . Tell Kilgharrah that I expect him to do all he can to protect you and Camelot in my absence. Merlin stepped closer pressing his forehead to Arthur ’s even though they couldn’ t actually feel each other . “I will make sure that you are remembered by everyone in the kingdom and beyond. I want to honor you the way you should have been in life.” “That is not why I did it, Arthur . I do not need honor or recognition. I just need to know that you are alive and well and happy ,” Merlin said then drew back slightly , “Arthur , Mor gana is with me. All this time she was under a curse placed on her by Mor gause during the year she was missing. It twisted her anger and fear turning her into a monster . She wanted me to tell you she is sorry for everything, though she knows that means little after all she did.” “Mor gana was cursed?” Arthur asked and Merlin nodded. “She is free of it, it released her when she died. She is at peace now , Arthur . Remember Morgana as she was before, kind, beautiful, and full of life. I am going to look after her as I should have done in life.” “Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur nodded, “Please, tell her that I understand, that I for give her . That I still love her , I always did.” Merlin smiled, “I will tell her .” Then he looked at Gwaine and smiled, “Y ou will look after this dollop head for me?” “Always, Merlin,” Gwaine nodded, “It was good to see you again.” “You too, old friend,” Merlin said then turned back to Arthur , “I must go now . The magic of the crystal is fading.” “No, not yet,” Arthur said his voice catching in his throat, “Please…” “I have to go, but before I do…I need you to promise me that you will not use the Crystal of Neahtid to try to summon me again.” “No, Kilgharrah made that quite clear ,” Arthur shook his head. “Good,” Merlin smiled, “T ell me you haven’ t replaced me with a bootlicker .” “I can never replace you, Merlin…with a bootlicker or otherwise.” “Time to go, Arthur ,” Merlin said taking a step back, “Goodbye…be well and be happy .” “Merlin…” “Always…” Merlin said as he and his father stepped back vanishing in a bright bluish-white light. Arthur stood where he was for several minutes then collapsed to his knees, bowing his head. “Arthur?” Gwaine asked, “Are you all right?” “No,” he huf fed a laugh, “But I suppose I will have to be.” “Come on, let’ s get you out of here,” Gwaine retrieved the crystal slipping it back into the leather pouch that Arthur had dropped on the ground. He relit the torch and nodded. “W e will get some food and rest then we can head back. W e should be able to reach Camelot before nightfall if we hurry .” Arthur got to his feet and with one last glance at the place where Merlin had stood, he turned and followed his knight out of the cave. He paused for a moment at the entrance when he heard Merlin’ s distant voice. Goodbye, Clotpole. He laughed aloud and Gwaine turned to look at him. “What?” “Nothing…let’ s go home,” Arthur smiled then putting his arm around the other man’ s shoulder , they walked back to their camp. The Circle of Life Six months later… Arthur paced the floor just outside of Gaius’ chambers his hands clasped behind his head, worry etched on his face, and tears pooling in his eyes. He was terrified. He kept seeing over and over in his head, his Guinevere collapsing to the floor in the middle of the feast, clutching her swollen belly , crying out in pain. She had looked up at him as he tried to comfort her after sending for Gaius. Arthur…our baby…something is wr ong… The sheer terror he felt at that moment. His mother had died giving birth to him. W as fate so cruel that it would cause history to repeat itself? W ould he lose his beautiful Guinevere and their baby? No, this cannot happen…not again. He glanced at the closed door again hearing whimpers and cries from his wife. Gaius had forced him to leave, he needed room to work, and Arthur was in the way , but he wanted to be with her . Needed to be with her . He turned and stopped short of punching the stone wall, instead pressing his palms flat against it then bowed his head. “Please…please, do not take them,” his voice came out in a stuttered cry of sheer pain. “Y ou took my mother…you took my father…” He let out a ragged breath then looked up, “Y ou took Merlin from me. Please, I beg of you,” Arthur choked, “Do not take my Guinevere… our child. I will do anything…anything…” “Arthur ,” Hunith said from the doorway , “You should come in now .” “Hunith I can’ t…I can’ t lose them,” he closed his eyes to hold back the tears as she caressed his cheek. “Arthur , come inside,” she nodded the grief in her eyes and her reassuring touch forced him to pull himself together he stepped into the room where Guinevere lay on the bed next to the fire. She reached her hand out for him and he dropped to his knees kissing it and then her forehead. Her hair was wet, and her face twisted in pain. “Arthur…” she gasped. She was so weak that she could barely lift her head. “Guinevere, please don’ t leave me,” he whispered, “I love you…” he looked up at Gaius meeting the old physician’ s gaze. His eyes held the same grief as Hunith’ s. “Gaius, save them, please…you have to save them!” “I’ve done all I can, Arthur ,” Gaius said, “The baby is coming, but I am afraid there is much bleeding inside. The baby is turned the wrong way…a breech. I cannot risk trying to turn the baby with Gwen already bleeding so heavily . To do so would risk both their lives.” Arthur nodded in understanding then looked into Gwen’ s eyes, “I am so sorry .” “Arthur , I don’ t want to leave you,” she cried. “There has to be something…magic…” he lowered his head. “My magic is not powerful enough, Sire,” Gaius said as he sat down on a bench. “If Merlin were here…” “Arthur , I’m afraid this would not even be within his power .” Gwen screamed, her fingers gripping the edges of the bed. She was shaking uncontrollably , and her skin was cold to the touch. Arthur was lost, he did not know what to do, and he was afraid to touch her and cause her more pain. He looked down seeing the blood and he knew…he was losing her . Hunith put her hands on Arthur ’s shoulders, “Arthur , let me take care of her .” He looked up at her and gave a slight nod then got to his feet moving to sit on the steps leading to Merlin’ s old room. Drawing his knees up, he pressed his hands to his face and wept silently . Merlin stood on the shore of A valon a heavy feeling had settled over him. Something was wrong…very wrong. Arthur… He bent down and placed a hand over the water , his eyes flashing gold. He saw Arthur lost and alone as Gwen screamed in pain. He heard Gaius and saw his mother helping to take care of her . “No!” Merlin yelled as he saw the blood and he knew . “No, please!” he screamed into the sky, “Stop this, please…Arthur cannot lose them!” “My child…” a woman wrapped in a soft white glow appeared over the water , “What distresses you so?” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur has lost enough. Do not take his wife and baby . I beg of you, White Goddess. Spare them.” “You insist on challenging the fates yet again for your king?” she asked with a raised eyebrow and a soft smile. “Have you not yet learned your lesson…what happens when you go against destiny?” “Save them, please! I will do anything. Y ou can take back my magic…” “Ah, Merlin, even in this world you continue to sacrifice yourself for King Arthur . He has moved on, as should you. I will not take back your magic.” “I cannot stand by and allow him to suf fer the loss of Gwen and their child. Not when there is something I can do to save them!” Merlin shouted. “What makes you think you can save them?” The Goddess studied him with narrowed eyes then lifted her head slightly and smiled. “V ery well…choose one,” she said bluntly . “What?” he asked, his eyes going wide. “Choose, Merlin, Guinevere, or the child. Choose, or both will die.” “How can I possibly make such a choice?” “You must do so now , my child. The queen or the heir? Which will live?” Merlin dropped to his knees on the shore, tears streaming down his face. He lowered his head focusing on the images in the water . Gwen or the baby , he could not choose…but if he did not, Arthur would lose them both. The kingdom would lose its queen and the heir to the throne…Arthur ’s legacy . “Merlin, you must choose,” the White Goddess said. Looking up at her , his eyes wide and filled with tears, “Arthur will be devastated.” “Yes, he will be, but you can spare him the loss of his wife or his child. I am only of fering you this chance out of love for you, my proudest creation…my gift to the world.” Merlin looked down at the images on the water's surface again then got to his feet. He swiped at his eyes and looked at her . His voice came out rough and deep. “I choose the child. Save their baby , please.” “Very well,” the goddess nodded then she took the tip of her silver staf f and swirled it through the images in the water and her eyes glowed bright white. Merlin stumbled back a step. A moment later she was gone, and he was alone. Arthur sat on the steps holding the tiny bundle in his arms, tears sliding down his face. His son…he had a son. He pressed his lips to the tiny head, a sob escaping his chest. His beautiful Guinevere was gone. How would he ever be able to go on without her? “Arthur , would you like me to take him?” Hunith asked. “No, not yet,” he shook his head. “I want you to know , that I will stay in Camelot and help you all I can,” she said softly . “Thank you, Hunith,” he gave her a sad smile, “He’ s beautiful, isn’ t he.” “Yes, he is,” she said pulling a small stool over so she could sit next to them. “Have you thought of a name?” Arthur nodded, “His name will be Gavin…Gavin Thomas Pendragon.” Hunith smiled, “That is the perfect name. Gavin is a bird…like a Merlin.” “Yes, it is. How do I do this alone?” Arthur asked, “How did you raise Merlin all alone?” “We do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy , Arthur . That is all we can do.” Arthur glanced over at the bed where a sheet covered the body of his Guinevere. “I failed her…I cannot fail him.” “These things happen, it was not your fault. The fact that Gavin survived is a miracle. I have helped to deliver many babies who were breech and they did not make it.” “Gaius…” Arthur said. “He will return soon. He went to inform the court and to make arrangements…” “I just…I can’ t believe she is gone,” Arthur shook his head. “I know , I am so deeply sorry . She was a wonderful woman and queen.” “Thank you for all you did for her through the last months. She loved you so much.” “And I her , we grew close during the time she lived with me in Ealdor . Arthur , she loved you deeply . She wanted this baby…she wanted you to have a son to carry on the Pendragon legacy . She told me many times that meant everything to her .” “I just never thought I would be raising him on my own.” “You will not be alone, you have so many people who love you, Arthur . You are like a son to me. I could not have gotten through Merlin’ s death without you and Gwen. I will always be here for you and Gavin, I promise.” “Thank you,” Arthur smiled reaching over to grasp her hand, “Having you here helped me too.” “Perhaps you should take Gavin to your chambers and get some rest, Arthur . I have arranged for a cradle to be placed in your room. I will come for you when she is ready , and I will stay with him while you say your goodbyes. I must go to the kitchen to prepare more of the milk for his next feeding.” Arthur stared at the bed and then nodded. “All right,” he said then got up carefully supporting the head of his infant son. He kissed Hunith on the forehead then left the room walking down the corridor . He was glad that he did not meet anyone along the way . It was after midnight. W alking into the chambers he had shared with Guinevere he felt the weight of her loss. Glancing down at the child in his arms he smiled. “I won’ t let you down, Guinevere,” he said softly , “I will raise our son. I will never let him forget his mother . He will be loved and cherished, and I promise he will never doubt his worth.” Merlin smiled through his tears as he watched the scene in the water . “Arthur , I am so sorry ,” he whispered. He turned as he heard a noise behind him. He saw Gwen coming toward the lake, looking as she did when she was a servant, wearing the pink dress she had worn the day he took her to the woods to meet Arthur for their picnic. He shook his head as she looked up and saw him. “Merlin!” she gasped and ran into his waiting arms. “Gwen, I am so sorry ,” he choked, tears running down his face. “Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for .” “I wanted to save you both…but the White Goddess forced me to choose.” “I don’ t understand,” Gwen said softly cupping his cheek. “I asked her to save you and the baby , but she made me choose between you. I chose to save the baby ,” Merlin said his voice breaking. “Oh, Merlin,” Gwen smiled brightly , “Thank you…thank you for saving my child. All I wanted was for my baby to live. That is all a mother can ask for .” “Arthur…” “Arthur will be all right,” she said, “He will be a wonderful father . I have no doubt.” “I was afraid…” Merlin shook his head, “I felt Arthur ’s despair , I just wanted to help.” “And you did, Merlin. Y ou saved my life many times, you saved my father , and now you have saved my beautiful baby . I owe you a debt I can never repay .” She stepped back and looked at him, “Y ou look good, Merlin. I have missed you.” “My magic has been slowly returning.” “So, this is where we go when it is over ,” Gwen said, “Y ou are here to greet me?” “Yes, well…it’ s the gateway ,” Merlin nodded, “I just like it here. It is peaceful.” “Where do I go next?” “Come with me,” he smiled then led her out onto the water . He waved a hand and a doorway appeared. It opened and she looked at him with a fond smile. “You’re coming with me then?” “No, but you won’ t be alone,” he nodded as Elyan and T om appeared in the open doorway . “Father! Elyan!” Gwen beamed then embraced Merlin, “Thank you for being here for me.” “I love you, Gwen,” he said then kissed her tenderly , “Go on, now , your family is waiting.” Gwen stepped through the door , and it vanished. Merlin stood there for a moment then looked up as the White Goddess appeared to him again. “It seems you made the right choice, my child.” “Thank you for your help. What will happen now?” “The child will live, it seems he has his own destiny ,” she smiled. “What do you mean?” “That is not for you to know…not yet,” the goddess said then vanished in a white light. “Great,” Merlin muttered, “Y ou’re worse than Kilgharrah.” Three years later… “Gavin!” Hunith called after the young prince, “Gavin, come here child. Are you trying to give me a fright? T ake pity on this old woman.” “Sorry ,” the little sandy-haired, blue-eyed boy gave her a sheepish grin, “I want to see father .” “A training field is no place for a little one,” Hunith beamed as she scooped him up in her arms. He kicked his legs gently , pressing his hand to her cheek. “Please, Hunith…” Letting out a breath, she shook her head, “Fine, but just for a little while. Then you are going to eat your lunch and take an afternoon nap. Promise?” Gavin nodded, “Promise!” Hunith carried him to the training field where Arthur was working with his new knights. Gwaine and Percival lingered of f to the side drinking from the water bucket, covered in sweat. It was already hot, and it was only late morning. Arthur glanced over , spotting them, and ran over to kiss his son’ s chubby cheek. “Y ou want to watch?” he asked, and Gavin nodded emphatically . “One day you will join us, my boy .” “That is a long time away ,” Hunith chided Arthur with a wink. “Yes, of course,” he chuckled then kissed Gavin again before jogging back to his men. Hunith moved to a bench and sat down putting Gavin on his feet while keeping her arm around him so he would not run out onto the field and get in the way . She watched as Arthur fought three knights at once and as usual, he defeated each of them with strength and stamina. She smiled as she remembered Merlin telling her how he and Arthur met. Her boys…all three of them, she thought as she kissed the top of Gavin’ s head. She lost Merlin, but she loved Arthur and Gavin as her own, feeling as proud of them as any mother would. As Ygraine would. A second group of knights, this time four , surrounded Arthur . She noted that one of them wore leather armor which she thought was odd. Arthur did not seem concerned about it as he began to spar with the four men. Hunith caught a glimpse, a flash of metal that was out of place. Before she could react the man with the leather rushed forward slicing at Arthur ’s throat with a dagger only to hit an invisible force his eyes widening in surprise for a split second before Arthur ran him through with his sword. He turned to look at his son, breathing hard and shaking. Gavin was standing with one arm raised and his eyes shimmering gold. Hunith looked from him to Arthur in shock. Neither of them said anything not wanting to draw attention to the boy. She had suspected for a while now that Gavin had magic…now there could be no doubt. He just saved his father ’s life without uttering a word of a spell. “That’ s enough,” Arthur growled at his men, “Get this rubbish of f the field.” He walked over to Gavin picking him up in his arms. “Gavin, you did that?” The boy nodded. “Couldn’ t let that bad man hurt you,” he said then his face fell, “Am I in trouble?” “No, no, my boy ,” Arthur kissed his forehead, “Y ou’re not in trouble, love.” He looked at Hunith questioningly then they walked back to the castle together . “I guess now we know .” “Yes,” she said, “Are you all right?” “Yes, thanks to my son.” “I was referring to what he did. Are you all right with the magic?” Arthur shook his head, “I am not scared of it, if that is what you’re asking. How did you feel when you realized Merlin had magic at such an early age?” Hunith laughed, “Merlin was much younger when I first saw his magic.” “Really?” Arthur asked. “Yes, the first time his eyes turned gold I was so frightened I nearly dropped him. He was only a week old at the time.” “So, he was literally born with it,” Arthur shook his head, “And now my Gavin has magic. What I do not understand is how . Guinevere did not have magic and I definitely do not have it. I wish Gaius were here, could really use his help.” Gaius had passed on just a year earlier . Hunith had taken over as healer and caretaker for Gavin. Arthur would have been lost without her in their lives since Guinevere died. “Who else can I go to?” “Maybe reach out to the Druids, they may know . Or Kilgharrah…” Arthur nodded, “If anyone would know the answer it would be the dragon.” It had become a regular occurrence for Arthur to go to the clearing and call to him. He would come and they would talk about Merlin and how much they missed him. Kilgharrah had explained the prophecies and his and Merlin’ s parts in them. He still did not know the lasting ef fects of Merlin’ s death. The Gods, or Fates, or whoever had not seen fit to reveal what lay ahead for them all. “I will go to him before nightfall.” “I want to go,” Gavin said, “Please, father .” “All right,” Arthur smiled, “I will take you, but only if you do what Hunith says and eat your lunch and take a nap.” “All right,” he grinned. “I should come along too,” Hunith said, “That way I can bring Gavin home when he gets too tired out. I know you will want to stay longer .” “You’re so good to us,” Arthur smiled then kissed her cheek. “I have to take care of my boys,” she winked then took Gavin from his father , “All right, food then nap, then we will go see the dragon.” Arthur stood there watching his giggling son and the woman who gave up everything to take care of them. He now knew exactly where Merlin inherited his deep compassion and his intelligence. Hunith reminded him so much of her son in the little facial expressions and the way she could look at him and know exactly what he was thinking. Arthur could not have survived the last three years without her support, her steadfast courage, and strength. Having her there was the next best thing to having Merlin himself. “Arthur ,” Leon said as he came toward him, “What happened back there on the training field?” “That new knight…Magne…he attacked me with a dagger . I killed him.” “I’m talking about the magic, Sire,” the taller man said. “Yes, that,” Arthur said as he turned and started walking up the steps. “Arthur?” Letting out a breath, Arthur glanced around and then moved closer to Leon. “It was Gavin.” Leon’ s eyes went wide, “Gavin has magic? How?” “I have no idea, but I need to find out. I will be going to the clearing before sunset with Gavin and Hunith,” he said, “I need to speak with Kilgharrah.” “I should come with you, or Gwaine,” he said. “We will be fine, but thank you, Leon.” “Magne was a traitor . We searched his quarters and found evidence that he was working for someone, but we do not know yet who it was.” “Could be anyone,” Arthur shook his head and continued walking up the stairs to the next floor . He turned the corner and headed for the council chambers. “There are many who are resisting the uniting of the five kingdoms under my rule.” “But the kings and queens have all sworn their allegiance and agreed to the terms.” “True, but there are others who are not so accepting of their decision. Many lords feel entitled to their kingdom’ s wealth and power which will now fall under Camelot’ s control and protection. In doing so it limits their ability to become wealthier of f the backs of the citizens. Keeps them from abusing their titles.” Leon smiled, “If your father could see what you have accomplished, Arthur…” “He would still find fault in it, as he always did. I no longer care about my father ’s approval or acceptance. He was wrong in all his decisions. W rong for his hate and bigotry and the genocide of hundreds…if not thousands of innocent people with and without magic.” “Well, for what it is worth, I am proud of you, Arthur ,” Leon said, “Y ou are a far better man and king than Uther ever was.” “And I owe it all to Merlin,” Arthur said softly , “Without him…Camelot would not be standing, and I would not be king.” “That may be true, but it was you that Merlin fought for , not the kingdom. It was his belief… his love that made him choose to fight by your side.” Arthur nodded and let out a breath, “I still miss him, and I miss my beautiful Guinevere.” “I know you do,” Leon said, “At least you have Gavin.” “Yes, and Gavin has magic,” Arthur huf fed a laugh. “Should make life interesting.” “To say the least.” “It is good you have Hunith to help. The voice of experience when it comes to magic.” “I am eternally grateful for her . I would be lost without Hunith’ s guidance and support.” “Like her son,” Leon said knowingly , and Arthur smiled. “I must go now , Gwaine is speaking to people trying to find out if anyone knows where Magne came from.” “Keep me informed,” Arthur said and watched as Leon walked down the corridor . He reached the door of the council chambers and went inside to find Percival studying a map. “Arthur ,” he said, “I was just looking over the finished map of the newly united kingdoms. It is amazingly well done and detailed.” “You always did love your maps,” Arthur grinned. “When you have traveled as much as I, maps are interesting.” “I never imagined I would one day be the ruler over all five kingdoms as one.” “After you defeated Mor gana, they felt you were the leader they all needed.” “I did not do it alone,” Arthur shook his head and sat down at the head of the table. “No, but it was you who inspired every man, woman, and child to fight for freedom. It was your love for your people that drove you, unlike some kings who only cared about themselves and no one else.” “It was my knights, my army , my queen, and…” Arthur ’s voice trailed of f. “Merlin,” Percival said. “Yes,” Arthur nodded, “If not for him I could have easily turned into one of those kings. He and Guinevere taught me so much about compassion and strength…putting others first no matter what their station. They showed me that a person’ s title or position in life does not determine their worth, as did Gwaine. Lancelot taught me to stand for what I believed in… for what was right and good. Y ou, Percival, showed me that strength and bravery were not enough and that I needed to be open-minded and listen to people. Gaius’ skills as a physician, Leon’ s loyalty , and Elyan’ s determination…all of you have made me the king I am.” Percival smiled, “And none of us would be here if not for Merlin.” Arthur huf fed a laugh, “Y es, you are right. Sometimes I think Gwaine and Lancelot were more loyal to Merlin than to me.” “Gwaine told me some of what you two witnessed in the Crystal Cave,” Percival said as he took a seat to Arthur ’s right. “Merlin should have a statue erected in the square in his honor .” Arthur grinned, “Merlin would hate it. All he did, he did not want rewards or to be celebrated…just to be accepted for who he was…to be free.” “Free to use his magic,” Percival nodded. “Every time I think about the danger he faced every single day he lived in Camelot. All the hangings, beheadings, the pyres in the courtyard…all those people, they could have been him at any given moment and I would have been powerless to stop it while my father lived.” “You would have found a way . You would never have let Merlin die like that.” “No, instead he sacrificed himself for me.” “Merlin did what he had to do to save you and the kingdom.” “His dream of being free…it is not fair that he died never knowing freedom. He lived his entire life in fear of persecution, slavery , and death. He deserved that chance.” “Yes, he did,” Percival nodded, “But you were more important to him than his freedom…his life. He proved that over and over again. Do you think there is a chance that one day he will return?” “I do not know . He didn’ t know either . The prophecies said I would die, and he would live on.” “His magic made him immortal.” “He told me that his magic will never totally be gone because it is a part of him, part of his soul.” “Then perhaps once his magic is at full strength, he will be able to return. He will be immortal again,” Percival said. “I am not sure that is how it works. He no longer has a body anyway; it was burned by Kilgharrah on A valon. Even if he could return, his soul would have nowhere to go.” Percival nodded, “W e all miss him. He was like a brother to all of us.” Arthur ran a hand through his hair , “He was everything to me.” “I know , Arthur . I may not have been here in the beginning, but I saw enough to know that you loved him as much as he loved you. Even if you could not show it.” Clearing his throat awkwardly , Arthur leaned forward pulling the map closer , “Let’ s have a look at this map.” Percival smiled, “Y es, Sire.” “It’s a beautiful evening,” Hunith said inhaling the fresh air as she rode the dark gray mare next to Arthur on his white stallion Apollo with Gavin in front of him. “Yes, it is,” Arthur smiled. Gavin looked up at him and grinned, “Going to see Killy!” Arthur laughed, “Y es, we are. Though I’m not sure you should call him that.” “He likes me,” Gavin said. “Yes, he does. He said you were special. I guess now we know what he meant.” “Like Merlin,” the boy grinned. “Just like Merlin,” Arthur wrapped his arm around Gavin pulling him closer , kissing the top of his beautiful son’ s dark blonde head. “Y our mother would be so proud of you, little one… so brave and smart.” “Like his father ,” Hunith smiled, and Arthur laughed. Reaching their destination, Arthur dismounted and put Gavin down on the ground watching as the boy ran to the center of the clearing, looking up into the sky . He then turned to help Hunith down and tethered the horses to a tree while she went to join Gavin. He looked around, taking in their surroundings. He reached for his sword as a sudden feeling of unease washed over him. Shaking his head, he drew the sword and called to Kilgharrah and waited. “Arthur ,” Hunith turned to look back at him, her eyes wide as she seemed to be sensing something as well. Arthur took two steps toward Gavin. He heard a sound behind him and spun around as a heavy fog came out of nowhere, enveloping them making it impossible to see anything. He heard the sound of men rushing toward them, obscured by the fog, and ran to where he knew that Hunith and Gavin had been standing. They were gone. “Gavin! Hunith!” he yelled, “Where are you?” “Arthur!” he heard Hunith cry out and turned heading toward the sound of her voice. “No, get away from him!” Hunith screamed. “Leave him alone!” “Hunith!” Arthur caught a glimpse of five men dressed in leather and chain mail moving through the fog, wielding swords, and maces. They had not seen him, and he moved silently his heart pounding in his chest as he forced himself to focus. He looked up at the sky hoping to see the dragon and nearly tripped over Hunith who was on the ground a deep gash on her forehead. “Arthur ,” she gasped, tears streaming down her face as she grabbed his tunic, “I tried to stop them…they have Gavin!” “Hunith, take this,” Arthur said handing her the dagger from his boot. “Can you walk?” he asked. “I think so,” she nodded, and he helped her up leading her over to a stand of trees. “Stay here, I have to go after them,” he said, “Which way did they take him?” “That way ,” Hunith motioned to her left, “Arthur…” The sound of heavy wings somewhere above made them both look up and Kilgharrah swooped down letting loose a hot breath that cleared the fog around them then he landed. “Kilgharrah, they have my son!” Arthur said, “I need your help.” The dragon launched into the air once again and circled overhead burning of f the fog until they could see the area. Arthur spotted two men and rushed them killing one. The other he shoved up against a tree the blade of his sword pressing against the man’ s throat. “Where’ s my son?” he roared. “Where you will never find him,” the man grinned, his dark eyes cold. “Tell me now!” Arthur growled his blade drawing blood. “Never!” Arthur stepped back and drove his sword through the man killing him instantly . Looking up he saw Kilgharrah burn a trail taking out three more men. “They are heading east,” Kilgharrah said then headed in that direction with Arthur following on the ground. He ran down an incline and through a ravine stopping as he heard Gavin crying in the distance. “Gavin!” Arthur called out and started running toward the sound of his son’ s voice. He scrambled over a rise and ran through a brook following tracks in the mud. He reached a ridge and looked down spotting a group of twelve men mounting horses one of them struggling to hold on to a squirming and kicking Gavin who was fighting with everything he had. “Gavin! Release him now!” Arthur shouted half running half sliding down the steep slope. “Let me go!” Gavin screamed, then bit the man holding him, on his upper arm. The man roared and slapped him hard and Gavin went limp. “No!” Arthur yelled, jumping over a fallen tree. Kilgharrah swooped down the men scattered firing crossbows at him to no ef fect. “Give me back my son!” he locked swords with three men who rushed him, he fought them of f killing two and wounding the third. When he looked around the man holding Gavin was nowhere in sight and Kilgharrah was laying down a trail of flames through the woods. “Gavin!” Arthur yelled his heart crushed in a vise of panic and desperation as he turned in a complete circle running a hand through his hair. Smoke from the fires and the still lingering fog made it impossible to see anything especially with the sun going down. Kilgharrah landed near Arthur . “I am sorry , Great King,” he said, “I lost sight of them when they split up in the woods. I could have burned everything, but I was afraid I would harm the boy.” “They took him…they took my son,” Arthur said fighting tears. He could not think, his hands were shaking. “Kilgharrah, I need you to go to Camelot and get help, please. I will go back and check on Hunith at the clearing. T ell my men to meet us there as soon as possible.” “I will go,” the dragon said then leaped into the air flying for Camelot. Arthur pulled himself together and somehow made his way back to the clearing. He found Hunith sitting by a fire hugging herself, rocking back and forth with tears streaming down her face. She looked up as Arthur approached her , eyes going wide and full of hope that vanished when she did not see Gavin. “I am so sorry ,” she choked shaking her head, “I tried to hold on to Gavin, but they hit me.” Arthur crouched next to her , cupping her cheek, “It was not your fault. There’ s nothing you could have done. I chased them, I saw him, but they got away…I—I sent Kilgharrah for help. Did you hear or see anything that could help us find him?” Hunith thought for a moment then nodded, “I heard someone mention King Alined.” “Alined? Why would he take Gavin? Those men were not wearing Deorham colors.” “I also heard the name Amren,” she said, and Arthur nodded. “Alined’ s son, Prince Amren…that makes more sense. He is the sole heir to the throne of Deorham and railed against the uniting of the kingdoms under my rule. He was to inherit the throne when Alined dies and was not pleased that his father signed the agreement that essentially gave away his birthright.” “But he will still be king, just under Camelot rule…your rule,” Hunith said. “Yes, but he will not have the power his father had during his reign. I should have known he would retaliate. Dammit.” “He won’ t hurt Gavin, will he?” Hunith asked tears shining in her eyes. Arthur shook his head, “I do not know . The man holding Gavin slapped him to make him stop fighting him. He stopped moving.” “Dear Gods,” she gasped, “Oh, Arthur , I’m so sorry .” “Hunith, stop blaming yourself,” Arthur said, “If anyone is to blame it is me for coming here without protection.” “How did they even know you would be here?” “Obviously , there was someone else other than Magne in Camelot. They must have overheard us talking. The knights will be here soon. W e will get him back.” “What caused that fog?” Hunith asked. “Magic, I have seen it before. Only that time it was Merlin trying to help the Druids.” “They have magic…” “It seems so.” “What are you going to do?” “I’m going to find my son, and God help anyone who gets in my way ,” Arthur said, his eyes fierce and dark. The Calling Merlin felt it, the call of his magic…not from within but coming from the other side. Reaching, pulling, dragging him toward the edge of the lake. He ran through the woods, the sun’s rays filtering down through the branches. W ithout slowing his pace, he dove into the water swimming hard and fast until he saw the bright blinding light beneath the surface. He headed right for it and busted through the center exploding to the surface. His lungs burned his body suddenly felt heavy and awkward. He stumbled from the water collapsing to his knees on the shore digging his long fingers into the sand. Sucking in air , he looked up at the dark sky at the bright stars shining through gaps in a heavy fog that felt unnatural. He tried to stand, but his legs did not want to work. He let out a groan rolling onto his back. He was cold, trembling, and weak…he was alive. Alive and naked. “Ow,” he moaned pressing his hand to his forehead. The magic was even stronger now , calling to him. He inhaled deeply trying to focus. He felt his magic sur ge within him in answer to the call. Whatever it was, it was bad…really bad. He needed to get up and move. Being slammed back into this body , his own body , he would have to figure out later how that was even possible when his body was burned to ash by dragon fire over three years prior . Merlin crawled up the shore and then stood on legs as wobbly as a newborn colt. His eyes flashed bright gold, focusing everything on finding his equilibrium and strengthening this new body . Running a hand through his dark hair he looked around. Please, help me… Hearing the words so clearly startled him. It sounded like a small child. He reached out with his magic, eyes burning gold as he sent his vision out into the woods over hills and through ravines, along a brook searching for the source. He found it in a camp hidden deep in a gully . Surrounded by fifteen men with three campfires, a small child sat huddled in a blanket his hands and feet tied. I hear you, little one. Merlin waited and listened for a response. Who was this child and why did his magic feel so familiar , like a part of his own? Merlin… How do you know my name? My father… Your father…what is your name? Gavin…Prince Gavin Pendragon… Merlin’ s knees nearly gave out again as the realization hit him. Gavin…Arthur and Gwen’ s son and he had magic…Merlin’ s magic. He was in trouble. I’m coming for you, Gavin. Do not give up. Hurry , Merlin… Keep talking to me, little one. I’m her e. Don’ t be scar ed. I want to go home…want my father… I will get you back to him, I pr omise. Merlin ran through the woods until he came to a village where people were settling in for the night. He skirted the edge until he found a house with nearly dry laundry hanging on a rack. He grabbed a worn brown tunic and a dark gray cloak with a hood, and brown trousers. He dressed quickly and then called a pair of boots to him from inside the house whispering a word to make them fit him. He then uttered an apology and a few words of magic to warm their hearth and stack their firewood. It was all he could do for now , he had to get to Gavin. The village didn’ t have any horses, so he focused on Gavin and started to run. He considered calling Kilgharrah, but from what he could tell the area was heavily wooded and the dragon would not be able to land nearby . He wasn’ t even sure if his Dragonlord powers would still work since he died and he had no son to pass them down to. Gavin, ar e you still with me? I’m her e…the man with strange eyes made me want to sleep. Someone with magic… Merlin… It’s all right, you r est. I will be ther e soon. I won’ t let anyone hurt you. Okay… Merlin clambered up a hillside, his eyes shining in the darkness helping him find his way . He was finally feeling at home in his own body again, his long legs strong and sure, his balance and focus returning. He couldn’ t help smiling it felt so good to be alive again and at the moment he wasn’ t about to question such a gift. W as this permanent or would he be forced to return to A valon? Taking every shortcut that he could remember , Merlin finally reached the camp. The men were sleeping except for two positioned at each end of the gully to watch for any sign of trouble. He lifted the hood of the cloak and lowered his head before walking boldly into the center of the camp. The guards jumped up drawing their swords. “Declare yourself,” one of them said. Merlin saw Gavin sleeping up against the tree wrapped in a heavy blanket. He smiled and then turned to the guards. “Forgive my intrusion, I am a Druid, separated from my people,” Merlin said. “Be on your way then,” the taller of the guards growled. “I will, but first, may I warm myself by your fire?” “You may not!” Merlin shook his head and then lowered his hood. The guards rushed him, but he raised one hand and shouted a word. They hit a wall of magic and froze, their eyes wide with fear . Merlin felt movement behind him and turned as their sorcerer threw a spell at him. Almost as soon as the spell was cast the man froze as he recognized Merlin. “I know you! Merlin, isn’ t it…” “Alvarr ,” Merlin smirked. “You…you have magic!” “I was born with it.” “Are you him…are you Emrys?” Merlin shrugged, “Might be.” “What do you want? There is nothing here for you.” “Oh, you see there is. Y ou and your men kidnapped someone very important to me.” Alvarr looked over at the sleeping child. “It is not of my doing. Their orders came from someone in Deorham…from King Alined’ s court.” “Working for a warmonger king who prospers of f the backs of dead soldiers?” Merlin glanced around, “Casting sleeping spells on a frightened little boy . You should be ashamed of yourself.” “You have no right to judge me…you protected the Pendragons,” Alvarr hissed closing the distance between them, “If you are truly the great Emrys why do you care about one young prince?” “Because I was born to serve the Once and Future King and you have taken his son. I cannot allow you to get away with that. I just spent the last three years in A valon, I am stronger now than I ever was before. If you want to live you will walk away and let me take him home to Camelot.” “Even if I do, they will not allow you to do that,” Alvarr smiled smugly nodding to the now wide-awake mercenaries surrounding Merlin. “They will be more than happy to send you back to A valon.” Merlin’ s smile grew , “I’d like to see them try .” Alvarr ’s eyes flashed, and Merlin uttered a word throwing his arms out to the side. Every man in the camp except Alvarr dropped dead where they stood causing the latter ’s face to turn a few shades paler as he realized the truth. “Emrys,” Alvarr said, “Please, do not harm me. W e are the same…” Merlin shook his head, “No, I am nothing like you. T o take an innocent child from his father . Using Mor gana all those years ago the way you did. Corrupting Mordred. I should kill you, but I am going to do something far worse and allow you to live, only without the one thing that makes you the monster you are. Y our magic. “No, please!” Alvarr shouted bringing his arms up. Merlin raised a hand and shouted a spell his eyes turning silver . Alvarr fell to the ground as his magic was ripped from his chest, shot into the air , and scattered like falling stars over the land as he cried and begged. When Merlin finished, he released him. “There now you will know what it is like to be powerless and frightened,” Merlin said coldly , “Get up, run away…now!” Alvarr scrambled to his feet and ran into the woods without another word or even a glance back. Merlin then turned and gathered Gavin up in his arms uttering a spell to wake him. The boy looked so much like Arthur it brought tears to his eyes. He smiled, gently caressing his cheek as his eyes fluttered open. “Merlin?” he asked. “Yes,” Merlin nodded, “Are you hurt?” “You really came for me,” Gavin said. “Of course,” Merlin grinned, “Y ou have magic.” “Like you,” the boy said, “My father…told me you were gone.” “I was, but I’m not anymore. What do you say we get you back to him?” “He’ s far away ,” Gavin said his eyes welling up with tears. “We will find him…I found you, didn’ t I?” Merlin grinned, hugging him close and the boy wrapped his arms around his neck. “Hunith tried to stop the bad men from taking me. They hit her ,” Gavin choked, his little body trembling. Merlin’ s eyes widened, “My mother was with you and Arthur?” “She takes care of me,” Gavin nodded, “W e were going to see Killy ‘cause I can do things.” “Killy?” Merlin asked with a grin. The thought of Kilgharrah allowing Gavin to call him that was quite amusing. “W ell, don’ t you worry , my mum is a tough woman. I am certain she is fine.” “She tells me stories about you,” Gavin smiled through his tears. Merlin laughed as he sat the boy down by the fire to warm his hands and check him over for injuries finding only a few cuts and bruises, “I’m sure she does.” He whispered a word and the ropes fell away from his wrists and ankles. “There, you’re free now .” “You’re really not gone anymore?” “I’m here, Gavin. I do not know how , but your magic and mine are the same. It called me home.” “I’m glad…father misses you.” “And I missed him so much.” “Can you stay with us now?” Merlin had no idea whether he would be able to or not. W as this temporary or was he back for good? W as he immortal again? It was obvious that his magic was much stronger than before. “I’m not sure it is up to me, but I want to.” “Please stay…” Gavin said softly . “Come on, let’ s get you back to Arthur .” Gavin wrapped his arms around Merlin as he picked the exhausted boy up resting him on his hip. Reaching out with his magic he felt Arthur and smiled. “He’ s not far , he’s looking for you,” he said, and Gavin buried his face in the crook of Merlin’ s neck. “Sleep little one, you’re safe now .” He smiled and then headed west, his magic guiding them through the woods. Arthur was barely able to focus, stumbling over the rough ground holding onto the reins of his horse. His vision blurred and he had not eaten anything. Once his men had arrived at the clearing, he sent Hunith back with Leon. Gwaine and Percival were fanned out on either side of him. They had been searching in the darkness all night using torches carried by his soldiers to light the way . The magical fog lingered, and Kilgharrah flew overhead searching the countryside, but even he was exhausted, so Arthur sent him away . The dragon had reluctantly left, clearly worried about Gavin. It was so strange to think about a magical creature being such an important part of their lives now . His father would definitely have something to say about that. “Arthur ,” Gwaine said handing him a waterskin and a hunk of dried meat, “Y ou look like you are going to drop any minute. Y ou need to rest and eat, drink some water .” “Cannot rest until I find my son,” Arthur shook his head. “Gwaine’ s right,” Percival said as he approached, “Y ou’re not going to be able to fight if you can’t even stand up.” “He’ s alone and cold…surrounded by strangers,” Arthur said then forced himself to take a drink of water and a bite of the meat, “I can’ t stop.” He handed the waterskin back to Gwaine and started walking forward again. Gwaine and Percival looked at each other both feeling helpless. Their king…their friend was hurting and lost. He would push himself to his limits to get Gavin back. And what if the worst happened? Arthur had already lost Merlin and Gwen…to lose Gavin would kill him. Arthur crouched down looking at a track in the torchlight. The men who took Gavin had split into three groups and they had no idea which of the three had him. For all he knew they could be following the wrong tracks and Gavin could be miles in the opposite direction. “Gavin,” Arthur choked, dropping to his knees, and lowered his head. “What is that?” Gwaine asked and Arthur looked up turning to see where he was looking. The fog seemed to be alive, swirling and dancing through the trees like spirits, ghosts of the dead, silent and eerie. A bluish-white glow illuminated the trees, pushing back the fog. Arthur ’s heart stuttered, that light… He got to his feet as a hooded figure emer ged from the woods, wrapped in a heavy gray cloak. Percival and Gwaine drew their swords, but Arthur waved a hand. “Stand down,” the king said as he walked toward the figure. “My Lord,” Percival said. “They mean us no harm.” “How can you be so sure?” Gwaine asked. “Call it a funny feeling,” Arthur said then sheathed his own sword. He watched as the figure stopped walking. He drew back his cloak revealing a sleepy but very much alive Gavin. “Oh, my God, Gavin!” The figure put Gavin down on the ground as Arthur dropped to his knees. “Father!” Gavin yelled and ran toward him. “Thank the Gods,” Arthur dropped to his knees gathering him into his embrace holding him kissing his cheek and forehead, stroking his hair checking him over for injuries. “My boy ,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Don’ t cry, father ,” Gavin said, hugging his neck. “I’m so sorry ,” Arthur said holding him tightly . He looked up at the hooded figure who was still standing a few yards away . “Thank you, whoever you are…for bringing my boy back. How will I ever repay you? Y ou shall receive a reward, anything you want…name it…land, gold, anything.” “I’d settle for my old job back,” the figure said then slowly lowered his hood. “Holy…” Gwaine said, his mouth dropping open in shock. Arthur stared at the man before him, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Merlin?” Merlin gave him a wide grin, “Hello, Arthur…” “Merlin…you’re alive!” Arthur scrambled to his feet bringing Gavin with him. “My God, you’re back! How?” he asked shaking his head as he closed the distance between them. “I’m not exactly sure, but it was Gavin. His magic…I do not know how , but it is part of my own. It…he called to me, brought me back and I was able to find him. The men who took him are all dead except Alvarr . I let him live, but without his magic. Personal experience taught me that is a fate worse than death.” Arthur shook his head, “As glad as I am to hear that, right now I just want to look at you.” Merlin chuckled, “Are you saying you’re glad to see me?” “Gods, yes,” Arthur grinned, “W elcome home, Merlin.” He put his arm around Merlin’ s neck and kissed his temple as they walked back toward Gwaine and Percival who were grinning from ear to ear . “Boys, we have Gavin, and we have Merlin back.” “Merlin!” Gwaine said and he stepped forward embracing him tightly , cupping the back of his head, “It is so damn good to see you, my friend.” “You too, Gwaine,” Merlin grinned then turned to Percival who wrapped him in a bear hug that made it dif ficult to breathe. “Merlin, we missed you,” he said as he drew back finally releasing him. “It is good to have you back, brother .” “It’s good to be back.” Arthur looked at Gavin smiling and kissed his cheek. “Set up camp for the night,” he told the men and they hurried to do as he ordered. Merlin reached out to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “He looks like you,” he grinned. “I know , poor child,” Arthur smirked. “Are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am now , thanks to you. I will never be able to repay all you have done for me, Merlin.” “Then it’ s a good thing you don’ t have to.” “I’m hungry ,” Gavin said tucking his face into Arthur ’s neck. “Then let’ s get you something to eat.” Arthur tucked Gavin into his bedroll wrapping him up warmly and kissing the top of his head. Merlin sat by the fire watching with a crooked grin. “What?” Arthur asked. “Nothing, just you’re pretty good at that.” Arthur sat down next to Merlin, “Y es, well, considering who my father was it is a miracle.” “You were always better than your father ,” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him intently and shook his head, “I can’ t believe you’re here.” “Neither can I. One minute I was in A valon the next I was back…naked on the shore and completely disoriented and weak. I don’ t know how I am even me…my body .” “How do you feel now?” Arthur asked. Merlin smiled, “Happy .” “What was it like…A valon?” “Beautiful, peaceful, surreal…lonely…” Merlin frowned. “You were all alone?” “I chose to be,” he said. “Why would you?” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin…” “I guess I just felt like I didn’ t belong in the next world any more than I belonged in this one.” “Merlin, that’ s not true…” Merlin looked into Arthur ’s eyes and smiled, “It really is. Y ou saw the truth in the Crystal Cave. Y ou know what I have done…the people I hurt and killed. I am sorry for lying to you all those years. I wanted to tell you so much. Y ou were the one person I wanted to see me for who I truly was and to accept me fully .” “I see you now , and I do accept you. Gods, Merlin, I am so damn happy to have you back,” Arthur smiled. “And you brought my son back to me.” “Did you really kiss me?” Merlin asked with a raised eyebrow , “Percival told me that after I died you kissed me.” Arthur blushed and nodded, “I did.” “Sorry I missed it,” Merlin huf fed a laugh. “Really?” “Only time I ever got a real hug from you was when I was under Mor gana’ s control and cannot even remember it. Then you wait until I am dead to kiss me,” he grinned. “I never knew you wanted…” “Yes, well, you were always a bit thick,” Merlin chuckled. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “It’s all right, I always knew you loved Gwen, and she loved you. All that mattered to me was that you were happy and safe and that you would be the king that Camelot needed.” “Yes, but you needed me too and I wasn’ t there for you.” Merlin shook his head slowly , “It doesn’ t matter now .” “It really does,” Arthur said, “Everything you did for me…it was not out of duty or for some prophecy , it was out of love. Y ou sacrificed yourself for me.” “And I would do it all over again.” “I know you would and before you go and do something so foolish again, I want you to know that I love you…I love you, Merlin.” Merlin’ s head shot up as he met Arthur ’s gaze. His lips parted wordlessly , and Arthur laughed. “Speechless, are you?” he asked. “Arthur…” “I should have told you before, but I was an idiot and scared. I meant what I said in the Crystal Cave. Y ou are the other half of my soul; you always were, and you always will be.” Merlin smiled, “T wo sides of the same coin…” Arthur reached up placing his hand on Merlin’ s face, his thumb brushing lightly over his cheekbone. “It’s time I do this properly ,” he said then leaned forward pressing his lips to Merlin’ s in a tender searching kiss. Merlin kissed him back a tear slipping from his eye. Arthur drew back brushing it away with his thumb. “Are you okay?” he asked, and Merlin nodded. “Just never thought…” he said with a hitch in his voice as he averted his gaze looking over at the others around another fire. “Arthur , I don’ t know if this is permanent…if I can even stay.” Arthur nodded, “Then I do not want to waste a single moment with you. Merlin, I want you to return with us to Camelot. Y ou can do or have anything you want. Y ou can take over as physician. Y our mother has been doing both Gaius’ job and taking care of Gavin. I would have been lost without her these last three years.” “Gaius,” Merlin said softly his eyes filled with sadness. “You did know…” “Yeah, I saw him when he passed over into A valon. He tried to talk me into going through with him, but I stayed where I was.” “Losing you, Gwen, and Gaius…it was a rough few years. And Geof frey too.” “Geof frey died?” Merlin asked. “Yes, shortly after Gaius. I still have not replaced him either .” “Arthur , I want to stay with you and Gavin,” Merlin said, “As long as I am able.” “You said Gavin’ s magic is like yours?” “It is.” “Makes sense,” Arthur nodded, “Gwen was already pregnant when you did what you did to destroy Mor gana. Y our magic was released. It healed me and Kilgharrah and brought Gwaine back from the dead. It is possible that it somehow reached Gwen and our unborn child.” “I did not know it would do that. I just knew that the spell was my only chance of saving you.” “You said Mor gana was with you?” “She was, she passed over into A valon as well. It took her a long time to come to terms with everything that happened. She was certain that she belonged in hell, but I told her that it was not her fault, that it was Mor gause. W e forgave each other and she moved on…she is with Mordred now .” Arthur nodded, “Mordred, he didn’ t deserve his fate either .” Merlin lowered his head, “If I had followed my heart and helped him and Mor gana…” “Merlin, enough now , what’ s done is done. I do not want to waste any more time dwelling on the past. I have my son, I have you and I am high king over all of Albion. All five kingdoms united under one rule, peace and prosperity , and freedom. None of it would be possible without you.” “All I did was keep your arse alive,” Merlin grinned. “You really want your old job back?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Yes, unless you already have a servant of course.” Arthur shook his head, “No, I haven’ t had a servant since you died. Other than the basic duties. Y ou always said I needed to learn to do things for myself. So, I did.” “Amazing,” Merlin laughed, “Y ou dress yourself and everything?” “I even do my own laundry .” “Oh, now I know you are lying,” Merlin chuckled. “Ok, I send my laundry out to be done,” Arthur shrugged, “But I get myself up in the morning. Of course, my speeches are not as good as the ones you wrote for me.” “If you no longer have need of a manservant perhaps, I could take over Gaius and Geof frey’ s jobs and begin to rebuild the collection of magic books now that you have lifted the ban.” “That would be good,” Arthur nodded, “Perhaps you could write your own books to hopefully begin to undo the damage my father did. So, people will understand that magic is not evil.” Merlin looked at his king with tears in his eyes, “I used to dream of the day that you would see the good in magic…to be free to use the gifts I was born with.” “You are free now , Merlin. I will give you anything you want, just ask.” “Right now , I think you should get some sleep,” Merlin smiled, “Y ou’re exhausted.” “I am, I guess I’m just afraid I’ll fall asleep and wake up and you will be gone.” “Sleep, Arthur , I promise I will be here when you wake.” “You should rest too.” “I have been resting for more than three years. I am enjoying the feeling of being alive again. I think I will go join the others for some food.” “You’ll come back,” Arthur said. “I will,” Merlin smiled and then started to get to his feet, but Arthur took hold of his wrist. “Merlin…I just want to do things right this time. I don’ t want to deny my feelings anymore. But I will not do anything unless it is what you want too. The last thing I want to do is hurt you again.” “Arthur , I want to be with you. It is all I have ever wanted.” Arthur drew him close and kissed Merlin again, “Good because now that I’ve kissed you…I don’t think I can stop.” “Mmm, I wholeheartedly consent,” Merlin grinned then kissed him back. “Now get some sleep, Sire. Physician’ s orders.” Arthur laughed and then laid down on his bedroll next to Gavin. Merlin waved a hand and covered him with a blanket. His eyes flashed and the fire grew warmer . He then got up and walked over to where Gwaine and Percival were sitting around the fire pretending they had not been watching them the entire time. “May I join you?” Merlin asked and Gwaine grinned. “Merlin, damn it is good to see you,” he said pulling him down to sit on the log next to him, “Are you all right?” “I’m good I think,” Merlin nodded, “Still trying to get my bearings. Nothing like having your soul yanked out of A valon and slammed back into a somehow reformed body to leave you feeling a bit disoriented and overwhelmed.” “I cannot even imagine…” Percival said shaking his head. “Is there any food left?” Merlin asked. “Lots…here you go,” Gwaine said and handed Merlin a plate of stew and some bread, “It is not as good as yours. I missed your cooking.” “How’ s Arthur?” Percival asked. “Exhausted, but relieved to have his son,” Merlin said. “How on earth did you find him?” Gwaine asked. “He called to me, his magic…Arthur thinks that what I did, my magic being released somehow it found its way to Gavin while Gwen was pregnant.” “That’ s possible,” Gwaine nodded, “It brought me back from the dead. Who knows what else it did? Thank you, by the way .” “You’re welcome,” Merlin grinned. “You and Arthur…” Percival said raising an eyebrow . “We’ll see…I am not even sure that this is permanent.” “Avalon is not getting you back without a fight,” Gwaine said his voice rough, “Not losing you again. Even if I have to of fer myself up to appease the Goddess.” “I’ll never let you do that for me. Gwaine, you should know , I met your father ,” Merlin smiled, “He said he is very proud of you.” “My father?” Gwaine asked, tears filling his eyes, “He knows…” Merlin nodded, “I told him all about you. I used my magic to let him see you.” “Thank you, Merlin, that means a lot.” “Apparently , he and my father knew each other when they were young boys.” “Really?” Gwaine asked, “Guess that explains why you and I got on so well from the moment we met. I felt a connection to you.” “Being in A valon many things became so clear ,” Merlin said. “What do you mean?” Percival asked. Merlin glanced over at Arthur , “I met Arthur ’s mother .” “What was she like?” Gwaine asked. “Beautiful, sweet, loving, she had me tell her everything about Arthur and she told me the truth about Uther and what he did. She was happy and relieved to know that he was safe and happy .” “Did you tell Arthur?” Percival asked. “Not yet,” Merlin shook his head, “I will though. He is exhausted, I want him to rest. I am going to take over Gaius’ position as physician and Geof frey’ s position as librarian.” “Arthur never even bothered to replace you,” Gwaine said, “No one measured up. Though I think it had more to do with grief and loneliness than anything else. He really struggled after losing you, Merlin. It changed him. Then he lost Gwen and if it had not been for Gavin…” “I did not think my death would af fect him like that. What is the life of a servant compared to that of a king? W e were friends but I thought he would be all right in time.” Percival and Gwaine looked at each other knowingly . “Merlin, anyone who spent any time at all around you and Arthur knew that there was some deeper bond. Y ou were far more to him than a servant or even friend,” Percival said. “Arthur told me things after your death,” Gwaine said, “Things I will not repeat because it is not my place to do so. Merlin, you have this second chance you need to talk to him…really talk. Get him to tell you himself. And by the Gods, do not let anything or anyone come between you again.” “Yes,” Merlin nodded, “I just wish I knew what all of this means. If I am back permanently or if I was released from A valon just to help Gavin.” “There is someone who might be able to tell you,” Gwaine said then looked up to the sky . “If my Dragonlord gift still works. When my father died it passed to me. When I died, I had no son for it to go to.” “Only one way to find out,” Percival smiled. “If not, then Arthur can call him,” Gwaine said. “Arthur?” Merlin asked eyebrows lifting. “Through his sword, he can call Kilgharrah,” Percival nodded. “Yeah, he and old Killy have a bond and Gavin just loves the giant lizard. Kilgharrah helped in the search until he was ready to drop from the sky . Arthur sent him away to rest. The dragon missed you too, Merlin,” Gwaine said. “I will call him in the morning, before we leave for Camelot,” Merlin said, “I should also check on Aithusa. God knows where she is now , what happened to her after Camlann.” “Aithusa?” Percival asked. “The white dragon…the egg I rescued from the T omb of Ashkanar and hatched,” Merlin grinned. “So that’ s where Mor gana got the dragon,” the lar ger man said. “Yes, I was so focused on protecting Arthur that I abandoned her and Mor gana…” Merlin said, his voice trailing of f and he let out a rough breath. “I made so many mistakes.” “And you did so much good as well, Merlin. Always remember that,” Gwaine embraced him then drew back, patting his cheek. “This is a new beginning, my friend. Let go of the past and live now or you will miss out on so much. When you brought me back from the dead, I was so damn grateful for a fresh start. A chance to do better , and I think I have.” Percival nodded then chuckled, “Still drinks too much though.” “That doesn’ t surprise me,” Merlin laughed. “We can’ t all be perfect,” Gwaine laughed heartily then he looked into Merlin’ s eyes, his mirth fading, “It is really good to have you back, Merlin. How do you feel…I mean do you feel like you?” Merlin shook his head, “It is hard to explain. I mean, this body is mine, but all the scars are gone. Is it strange that I miss them?” “Not strange at all,” Percival said, “Y ou earned every one of them. They told your story .” “I don’ t even know if I am still immortal. My magic is more powerful.” “Well, I think it is safe to say you are still human,” Gwaine said, “Y ou can still be hurt, Merlin. So, maybe this time, you will be a little more careful and not take so many risks.” Merlin smiled, “Let’ s hope I won’ t have reason to this time around.” “What do you think Arthur will do to Alined…his son?” Percival asked. “Unless we can find absolute proof that they were involved in Gavin’ s kidnapping there is little he can do. He cannot accuse them without it, or we will have a war on our hands,” Gwaine said. “I let Alvarr go, he might have provided proof,” Merlin frowned. “Not likely ,” Percival shook his head, “The traitor Magne, he is our only link and he’ s dead.” “There has to be someone else, someone who knew Arthur planned to visit Kilgharrah and that Gavin would be with him,” Gwaine said. “Then we need to find out who it was,” Merlin said. “Tomorrow…right now , we need sleep,” Percival smiled then reached out to squeeze Merlin’ s shoulder . “W elcome home, Merlin.” He got up and moved over to his bedroll flopped down on it and let out a sigh closing his eyes. “You should sleep too, Gwaine,” Merlin said. “Aren’ t you tired? “A little, I guess.” “Are you sure you’re okay?” “Yeah, it’ s just a lot…” “Here’ s a bedroll for you, go get some rest. W e have a long ride back to Camelot tomorrow and you are going to cause quite a stir when we get there.” “The people probably won’ t even remember me,” Merlin said accepting the spare bedroll. “Wait and see,” Gwaine winked then laid down on his own bedroll, “Good night, Merlin.” “Good night, Gwaine,” Merlin hesitated for a moment then got up walking back over to where Arthur and Gavin were sleeping. He laid out his bedroll then sat down by the fire and added more wood. He glanced over at Arthur and smiled as he saw Gavin curled up in his father ’s arms, both sleeping soundly . With a whispered word he adjusted the blanket over them, and Arthur stirred, his eyes fluttering open. “Gavin,” he whispered reassuring himself that his son was still there. He then looked at Merlin with a smile, “Merlin…” “Go back to sleep, Arthur . I am not going anywhere,” Merlin grinned. “Sorry , I didn’ t mean to wake you.” “Are you all right?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Y ou all keep asking me that. I’m good…really .” “Come here, Merlin,” Arthur said rolling onto his back, holding his hand out. “Arthur?” “Come here, please,” Arthur reached over and pulled Merlin’ s bedroll closer , “Lay down.” “Yes, Y our Majesty ,” Merlin grinned and sat down taking of f his boots and cloak then Arthur tugged his sleeve sliding an arm around his shoulder and drawing him close, covering him with part of the blanket. “Just let me hold you,” Arthur said softly . Merlin did not ar gue he let out a breath and shifted onto his side resting his head on Arthur ’s shoulder . He smiled and Arthur ran his fingers through his hair . “There, much better .” “You sure this is a good idea,” Merlin grinned. “Yes, Merlin. Now go to sleep.” Merlin closed his eyes, listening to the beating of Arthur ’s heart. He felt the warmth of his breath and wondered for a moment if they could really be like this from now on. Could they really be together the way he always wanted, but never thought possible? “You’re thinking, Merlin,” Arthur said sleepily . “Sorry…” “Everything will be all right.” “If you say so, Sire.” “I do and I’m the king, so I am always right.” Merlin lifted his head to look into Arthur ’s eyes. “Are you ever going to change?” “No, you’d get bored,” Arthur grinned drawing Merlin’ s head back down, “Sleep.” Homecoming Arthur woke up to Gavin patting his cheek. “Father , wake up.” “I’m awake,” Arthur said looking around his heart jumped as he realized Merlin was not there. His boots and cloak were gone. W as he gone? “Merlin!” “Merlin is going to call Killy ,” Gavin smiled. Arthur sat up, slipped on his boots, grabbed his jacket, and got to his feet. He scooped up Gavin and carried him through their camp. Merlin was standing in a clearing with his cloak on, the hood down. His dark hair sticking up. “Merlin?” Arthur asked. Merlin turned to look at him, eyes shining with tears, and shook his head, “What if it doesn’ t work? What if I have lost that part of me…the only thing I had of my father?” “You won’ t know until you try , Merlin,” Arthur shook his head shifting Gavin’ s weight onto his hip. “Go ahead.” Merlin nodded wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his cloak and took a deep breath. “Here goes,” he said, then tilting his head back he focused and let out a roar followed by the ancient words he knew so well. His magic sur ged carrying the call higher and further over the land. “It worked…at least I think it did,” he turned to look at Arthur who was staring at him in awe. “Merlin, that was incredible,” the king said. “Can I do that?” Gavin asked with a giggle. “Afraid not, little one,” Merlin grinned. It was several minutes before they heard the familiar sound of leathery wings in the air . Kilgharrah circled and then landed with a thud, bowing his head to Merlin. “Young W arlock, you have returned,” the dragon said his eyes bright. “Hello, old friend,” Merlin said, “I was not sure you would hear me. If I had lost my Dragonlord gift when I died.” “Your Dragonlord power is yours, Merlin, a part of your soul,” Kilgharrah said with a toothy smile, “I missed you.” “I missed you too,” Merlin said, “I need to know if this is permanent. W ill I live now , or must I return to A valon?” “You will live, Merlin, you are once again needed in this world. Not only to protect Arthur but to help Gavin learn to use and control his magic.” “His magic…did it come from Merlin, because of what he did that day?” “Yes, King Arthur ,” the dragon said, “When Merlin’ s magic was released, it absorbed and transformed Mor gana’ s eclipsing her darkness, purifying her in a way , as she died. It healed you and I and as you know brought Sir Gwaine back from the dead. Gavin is a special child, for not only is he the son of the Once and Future King, who himself was born of magic, but he is the balance. For when Merlin died the world needed him to be that balance. T o keep magic alive in the world until such time that Merlin would return to guide him.” “Is that what happened during the Great Pur ge?” Arthur asked. “Yes, it resulted in rampant magic with no balance. That balance was Merlin. Born into the world to both contain and sustain the magic. He was born with magic as you were born of magic, two sides of the same coin.” “Balance,” Merlin said looking at Arthur intently . Kilgharrah nodded, “Y ou may have defied the prophecies, Y oung W arlock, but prophecy always finds a way in the end. Y ou altered the path, and they merely found a new route to the same destination.” Arthur smiled, “Then Merlin can stay…he’ s home for good?” “He is,” Kilgharrah nodded. “And my immortality?” Merlin asked. “That part of the prophecy no longer exists because Arthur did not die, and you have returned. So, that I cannot answer .” “Who can?” Arthur asked. “Perhaps you can summon the Goddess herself for answers,” Kilgharrah said. “Maybe one day , right now I am just glad to be alive and back with the people I love.” “Killy ,” Gavin giggled, and Arthur placed him on the ground. Kilgharrah chuckled and lowered his head. “I am so relieved to see you are safe, little prince.” “Thank you for all you did, Kilgharrah,” Arthur said, “I owe you a great debt.” “It is I who owed you a debt for the crimes I committed against Camelot long ago. I was blinded by rage and sought revenge against your father . I should never have attacked the innocent.” Arthur nodded, “Y ou helped the kingdom as well, Kilgharrah. And I cannot honestly say that, if I had been kept prisoner in that cavern for twenty years, I would not have done the same.” “Kilgharrah, do you know where Aithusa is? Is she alive?” Merlin asked. “She is alive, your magic healed her as well. She is no longer deformed and crippled and lives in the White Mountains.” “Does—does she hate me?” “No, Y oung W arlock, she could never hate you. Y ou brought her into the world…called her from her egg. Y ou are her Dragonlord.” “And I abandoned her ,” Merlin said his voice edged with regret and sadness. “Aithusa understands. I am certain if you call for her , she will come to you.” “Perhaps I will go to her one day ,” Merlin smiled. “I am certain she would be pleased to see you. For now , you need to focus on settling back into your life here in Camelot. Much has changed since you died. Y ou are needed.” “Thank you, Kilgharrah for everything,” Arthur nodded. “You are most welcome, Great King,” the dragon bowed, “I must go now . It is so good to have you back Merlin. Enjoy this life.” “I will,” Merlin smiled, and they watched as he launched into the air and circled overhead a few times before flying away . Then he turned to Arthur and laughed, “I think that is the first time I ever heard him give a straight answer . All I ever got before were riddles.” Arthur nodded, “W e spoke a lot after you died. He told me how much he regretted some of the decisions he made. That he should have told you everything from the beginning.” “I’m not certain it would have made a dif ference,” Merlin shook his head. “Are you ready to go home?” Arthur asked?” “Gods, yes,” Merlin grinned. “Pack up, men, let’ s get back to Camelot,” Arthur ordered. They rode into the square a few hours later and Merlin’ s eyes lit up as he saw his home for the first time in over three years. Arthur smiled as he watched him take it all in. The city and the lower town had expanded a great deal in the time he was gone. Much lar ger and nicer houses had replaced tiny hovels and huts. Gwen’ s house had been expanded and fixed up for Hunith because she felt more comfortable there than in the palace. Though she did have a room in Gavin’ s chambers. The people came out of their houses to greet their king and the young prince as they returned. They had all been devastated to hear that Gavin had been taken, they were relieved, and overjoyed to have him back home. But it was Merlin who created the most jubilation. Arthur grinned as the people began to notice him and started calling out his name. Merlin! Merlin has r eturned! Merlin! He is back! Merlin is home! “I don’ t understand…I didn’ t expect…” Merlin shook his head and looked at Arthur . “I promised to honor you and your sacrifices for me and for Camelot.” “You did,” Merlin’ s eyes narrowed, and his eyebrows raised, “What did you do?” “Well, it started with the celebration outside the walls after you died, people came from all around including royalty . Annis and Mithian and so many others who wanted to remember you and to honor your sacrifice and to say their goodbyes to a young man they had always known was special. I got to hear endless stories of people you had helped…people you had saved. It turned into a yearly celebration growing lar ger every time. Druids came here to tell the stories of the great Emrys,” Arthur smiled, “Y ou believed people would have for gotten about you, but Merlin, you touched far too many lives for that to happen. Y our people love you.” “My people,” Merlin said softly , shaking his head. “Your people, Merlin. They have held out hope for your return and now here you are,” Arthur grinned. “But I don’ t deserve…” “Yes, you do.” Riding up to the steps they dismounted. Merlin was immediately swarmed by people. Hunith came down the steps with Leon and they both froze seeing who was at the center of the commotion. “Merlin!” Hunith cried out and ran down the steps the crowd parted to let her through, “My God, Merlin! Y ou’re home!” she choked back tears as she threw her arms around his neck holding him so tight. Merlin had tears in his eyes rocking her gently . “Mother ,” he said, his voice breaking. “My beautiful boy ,” Hunith gasped cupping his cheek, “Y ou’re really here.” “I am, mother , I love you,” Merlin grinned then hugged her tighter . Arthur climbed the steps with Gavin in his arms and looked around at all the people. He smiled and called out over the crowd, “Please, give Merlin some time to adjust and to spend with his mother . I promise in the coming days we will have a celebration. Spread the word and join us in welcoming home Camelot’ s most beloved servant, friend, and warlock…as it was he who rescued Prince Gavin and returned him to me.” The people cheered and chanted Merlin’ s name as they patted his back and shoulder and slowly moved away leaving him standing with his mother his eyes wide and his mouth open in stunned silence uncertain what to say . “Merlin,” Arthur said then motioned for him and Hunith to follow . Leon met Merlin halfway up the steps, “Merlin…” “Sir Leon,” Merlin smiled. “It’s really you,” the knight said shaking his head then with a wide grin he embraced Merlin cupping the back of his head. “Thank the Gods, you were missed around here, brother .” “I wasn’ t expecting this reception,” Merlin chuckled, and Leon smiled. “Best prepare yourself then because there is more to come.” “He’ s right, Merlin,” Hunith beamed. “I guess I’m just not used to everyone knowing who I really am…what I’ve done.” Gwaine and Percival came up the steps behind them. Gwaine put an arm around Merlin, “And you said people wouldn’ t remember you.” “Come along,” Hunith said taking Gavin from Arthur , “Let’ s get you boys fed and this little one needs a bath and sleep.” “Thank you, Hunith,” Arthur said then kissed Gavin’ s head. “I need to go with Arthur first,” Merlin said. “Very well, it is so good to have you back.” “I love you, mother .” Arthur headed up the steps and Merlin followed him. He glanced back at Merlin and grinned. “What?” Merlin asked. “Nothing, just so damn happy ,” Arthur said then he grabbed the sleeve of Merlin’ s cloak and pulled him into the empty council chambers, and shut the door . “I know it is a lot and you are feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Merlin, I want…” Merlin silenced him with a deep kiss, his hands tugging Arthur closer . “Overwhelm me, please,” he said huskily , and Arthur deepened the kiss. “Gods, Merlin,” Arthur whispered against his lips. “You really want me,” Merlin said. “Yes…” Arthur moaned kissing him deeper and harder his hand sliding around to the back of Merlin’ s neck holding him there as he backed him up against the door . “Always, Merlin…” “Ah, Arthur ,” Merlin gasped tipping his head back and Arthur chuckled. “Sorry , I got a bit carried away .” “No, I started it,” he grinned. Arthur looked into his eyes, “Merlin, did you ever…were you ever with anyone?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “When did I have time? Besides, there was always only you, and if I couldn’ t have you then I didn’ t want anyone. I loved Freya, but that was doomed from the start.” “I’m so sorry ,” Arthur said pressing his forehead to Merlin’ s. Merlin smiled, “Don’ t be.” “I am going to do everything in my power to make it up to you, Merlin. I promise you.” “I understand if you don’ t want to be together in public.” Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, I want everyone to know what you mean to me. What you have always meant to me. I wish I had known how you felt about me.” “It wouldn’ t have mattered,” Merlin said. “I do know one thing,” Arthur said, “If I had known how you felt about me, I am not sure I could have resisted. I was always so afraid…scared that if I had approached you, you would give yourself to me out of duty only and nothing more. I could not bear to use you in such a way.” “Arthur , I am yours, I have always been yours,” Merlin grinned kissing him tenderly . “And I am yours, Merlin.” A knock on the door startled them and they laughed. Merlin stepped aside and Arthur opened the door and the room filled with the people of the court ready for their king to inform them of the events of the past couple of days. Arthur moved to the front of the room and told everyone what happened. “We should retaliate against King Alined,” one of the lords spoke up. “I have reason to believe that it was not King Alined, but his son, Prince Amren who orchestrated the kidnapping. He is bitter and angry that I now have dominion over the kingdom he is due to inherit once Alined is gone,” Arthur said. “As he sees it, his father signed away his birthright to me. In taking Gavin, I believe he wanted to force my hand and start a war . I will not give him the war he wants. I will send a messenger to Deorham to inform the king what his son has done and let him decide what shall be done. My son is safe thanks to Merlin,” Arthur smiled meeting Merlin’ s gaze then motioned for him to join him. Merlin held his head high as he moved to stand next to his king causing gasps and muttering from the court. “As you can see, Merlin has returned. He rescued Gavin and returned him to me. Y et again proving his love and loyalty to Camelot. There will be many changes in the upcoming days. You should all be aware that my relationship with Merlin has also changed. I love him deeply and he loves me.” The gasps of surprise and some of disgust came from the court and Arthur looked at them intently . “If any of you have a problem with that, I will be more than happy to relieve you of your position in this court.” “Your majesty , you married a servant, but this…Merlin is…” a man spoke up his voice trembling. “Merlin is what?” Arthur asked his eyes narrowing. “Merlin’ s a sorcerer and, Sire, he’ s a man…” “Thank you for pointing that out, Lord Bishop, I was not aware,” Arthur glared at him, and the others smiled awkwardly . Merlin had to stifle a laugh. “Merlin is also the other half of my soul. He has given everything for me and Camelot. From now on you will show him the same respect as you show me. I am your king. Do not for get that and do not question me again. I have hidden my feelings for Merlin out of duty for far too long. I love him and we are going to be together .” “Yes, My Lord,” Lord Bishop bowed, “I apologize, please for give me.” “Good,” Arthur grinned, “If that is all you are dismissed.” After they all left Merlin turned to Arthur and lost it. He laughed so hard, and Arthur joined in. “The look on his face,” Merlin chuckled nearly doubling over in laughter , “Like he was sucking on a pickled egg.” Arthur pulled Merlin close and kissed him, “It is good to hear you laugh like that again. I missed it. I missed seeing your smile.” “But Y our Majesty , I am a man,” Merlin deadpanned then busted up laughing again. “A very beautiful and intoxicating man,” Arthur said cupping his cheek. “Can I ask you something?” “Yes…anything.” “I cannot help but feel like us being together is disrespectful to Gwen. I feel like I am betraying her . Are you sure?” “Merlin, Guinevere knew…I told her . After you died, I told her what you meant to me. She already knew . I think she would be happy for us. I think she would want us to be together .” “You told her , and she wasn’ t upset?” “Not at all. She understood because a part of her would always love Lancelot the way part of me would always love you. She loved you too, Merlin.” Merlin nodded, tears in his eyes, “I am glad…I would never want. And Gavin…” “Gavin loved you even before he met you. I told him everything about you and our adventures together .” Merlin smiled, “Y ou did.” “Yes, I am required to tell him one of our stories before bed every night before he goes to sleep.” “Maybe I could tell him a story sometime.” “I guarantee he will be demanding just that.” “Can we really do this? Be together…be a family?” “Is that what you want?” Arthur asked softly and Merlin nodded. “More than anything.” “Then that is what you shall have.” “Um, I should see about sorting out the physician’ s chambers and my old room. And if you still want me to take over Geof frey’ s duties as well…the library probably needs cleaning and organizing. Then there is the secret room…” “Secret room?” Arthur asked raising an eyebrow . “Yeah, the room where I found and released the Goblin.” “Ah yes, I remember that all too well.” “There are magic books in there that need to be collected and cataloged.” Arthur smiled and placed a hand on Merlin’ s neck, “There is plenty of time for that. Y ou need to take a few days and settle in. As for your old room, you will not be needing it if you move into my chambers with me.” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want me to move into your chambers?” “When you are ready , yes,” Arthur blushed, “I mean if you want to. I don’ t want to push.” “Arthur , I want to, believe me, but for the sake of the kingdom perhaps we should ease them into this…what we are now . Some will not like that we are together .” “I guess you’re right,” Arthur said, “I should probably find a way to explain things to Gavin too before we go that far .” Merlin leaned in and kissed Arthur , “We need to tell my mother too.” “I didn’ t think about that,” Arthur shook his head, “Do you think she will object?” “I really don’ t know . I mean, I think she always knew that I had feelings for you, so that will not come as a surprise. But us actually acting on those feelings might.” “Merlin, as long as you know without a doubt that this is real and that I love you. No matter what anyone thinks about it, I do not care. I am tired of burying my feelings and denying myself the one person I need more than anyone.” “I will never doubt that…not now…not ever , Arthur .” Arthur kissed him deeply then nodded, “Y ou should go to your mother .” “I will find you later ,” Merlin smiled. “I should talk to my men,” Arthur nodded. “I’m sure Gwaine and Percival have already told them,” Merlin chuckled, “And I am fairly certain the castle gossip mill is in full swing.” “Yes, I used to hear things. People thought you and I were…that I was taking advantage of you back then. They assumed that just because I was not bedding every woman in the kingdom …” “I know , I heard the stories too,” Merlin chuckled, and Arthur looked at him. “Why didn’ t you ever say anything? I would have put a stop to it had I known. If my father had ever gotten wind of the rumors, he would have removed you from my service or worse. I thought my keeping quiet about it would make them stop.” Merlin smiled, “T o be honest, I did not mind. I never set them straight. I just let them think what they wanted to think and a part of me liked having them think that because people left me alone and I guess because I wanted it to be true. When I used to get you ready for bed at night, I used to wish you would ask me to stay . To take care of those needs for you.” Arthur nodded, “And I used to fight the ur ge to ask you to. W e were both stupid. W e could have been together back then.” “But then would you have married Gwen?” Merlin asked, “Y ou wouldn’ t have Gavin.” “I do not know what I would have done. Which is why I don’ t want to waste any more time, Merlin. As soon as you are ready and we tell everyone, I want you to move into my chambers and become my consort.” Merlin’ s eye widened, “That is quite of ficial.” “Yes, it is, and I want to make sure that you are protected in every way . No one will ever again treat you as less than you are, Merlin. I swear to you.” “I don’ t need anything of ficial, just to be with you.” “Yes, I know , but if anything should happen to me before Gavin is old enough. I want you to be protected and cared for . You will rule by my side in whatever capacity you wish, but I need to know that you are safe. Y ou have been through so much and lost so much because of me. And while I know I can never undo the damage or repay that debt; this is one way that I can at least begin to make amends.” “Arthur , you don’ t owe me anything,” Merlin said, tears in his eyes. “But I do, Merlin…and I am going to make sure you are loved and happy . “All right,” Merlin nodded then looked toward the door , “I should go now .” “Go,” Arthur kissed him and then watched as he left the room a soft smile on his face. “There you are, my boy ,” Hunith said as Merlin came through the door of the physician’ s chambers his eyes taking in the room. “I kept it as Gaius had it just in case you returned and wanted to take over .” “I missed this place so much,” Merlin smiled, his eyes brimming with tears, “I left Gaius.” “Merlin, Gaius loved you,” Hunith said, “Losing you broke his heart, but he understood. He missed you so much, but he told me that it did not surprise him that you chose to sacrifice yourself for Arthur . That it was your destiny , no matter the cost, to make sure Arthur lived.” “He’ s my friend, I could not let him die. He had to live.” “Merlin, I am your mother . I know you are in love with Arthur , you have been since the beginning. And seeing you two together this morning…I am not blind. Arthur loves you too.” Merlin smiled, “W e are um…” “I know and I am pleased,” Hunith laughed and embraced him, “Now sit down and eat. T ell your old mum everything. Starting with that father of yours. I am sorry I kept the truth from you about Balinor , Merlin…I just thought it would be safer for you. W e loved each other deeply and it hurt him so much to leave me.” “I know ,” Merlin nodded. “How is he? I mean other than the obvious.” “He is at peace, he helped me so much. I am so proud of him. Honored to be his son.” “And I am certain he is as proud of you as I am.” “Mother , are you all right?” Merlin asked. “I am just happy to have my son back.” “I am glad you stayed in Camelot.” Hunith nodded, “I could not leave Arthur with a baby boy to raise. Losing Gwen was devastating for him.” Merlin rested his arms on the table as his mother placed a plate in front of him. “His own mother died giving birth to him…history repeating itself. I wish I had been able to save them both.” “What do you mean?” Hunith asked her brow creasing. “I sensed Arthur ’s despair and fear . I begged the Goddess to save them. She forced me to choose…Gwen or the baby…I chose the baby . When Gwen crossed over to A valon, I told her what happened and she was grateful, but I still feel like I should have done more.” “Well, as a mother , I can assure you that the life of her son was all that mattered to Guinevere.” “I just feel guilty .” “Have you told Arthur?” “Not yet. I need to. I’m not sure how .” “I am certain that he will feel the same as the queen. Gavin is his son and his heir . He dotes on that boy , and never fails to be there when he goes to bed so he can tell him a story and kiss him good night. Arthur is always telling him how proud he is of him.” “That is because Uther never gave Arthur the love and support that he needed and deserved. I think, deep down, he blamed Arthur for Ygraine’ s death when it was his doing. He used magic and when the price was her life, he lashed out at everyone and everything with magic instead of facing up to his own guilt. Arthur suf fered his entire life trying to please that man and he is determined that Gavin never feels the way he did.” “Arthur is a wonderful father ,” Hunith smiled, “And I think you will be as well.” “Me?” “Yes, Merlin, if you are going to be with Arthur , you will be Gavin’ s father as well.” Merlin smiled, “I guess I hadn’ t thought of it that way .” “It is good that Arthur told him all about you the last three years.” “I know I will need to help him with his magic. Kilgharrah said that his magic came from me. I don’ t quite understand how exactly . But when my magic was released, it healed him and Arthur and brought Gwaine back to life and somehow found its way to Gavin when Gwen was pregnant with him.” “That makes sense,” Hunith nodded as she began to eat, “Gwen did tell me that the day before Arthur returned to Camelot, she had a dream. She said she felt something, a calming warmth wash over her and she just knew that Arthur was alive.” Merlin picked at his food and shook his head, “I am grateful to be back. I just hope it isn’ t because of some impending doom. I just want to live here with you, Arthur and Gavin, and our friends. T o not have to fight anymore.” “Magic is legal now , there have been no magical attacks in years.” “And we have Alined’ s son trying to start a war and using Gavin to do it.” “I am fairly certain that when word gets out that you are back at Arthur ’s side, he will rethink his plans. He had little chance of beating Arthur before, with you here now…the enemies of Camelot will not dare to challenge him.” “I hope you’re right.” “So, are you going to take over for Gaius?” Merlin nodded, “And Geof frey.” “Really?” “Arthur doesn’ t need a servant anymore. I need to do my part in bringing back magic. Educating people and allaying their fears and prejudices against those with magic. Arthur asked me to write my own books to add to the library and I plan to collect all the surviving books and such that still exist in the secret room. This is what I was always meant to do and now I am back I can fulfill this part of the prophecy .” “I will be happy to assist you here,” Hunith said. “I would love that.” “I assume you will be moving into Arthur ’s chambers?” she asked with a knowing smile. Merlin chuckled and nodded, “He asked me to. I wanted to tell you first. And we need to give people time to adjust to the idea that their king is in love with his warlock.” “Merlin, don’ t you dare let anyone else keep you from the man you love.” “Mother , it is not that simple?” “Isn’ t it?” Hunith asked raising an eyebrow , “You nearly lost each other forever . Do you really plan to let what others think keep you apart just because a few might get upset? Arthur loves you and he wants to be with you. Do not waste a single second of this new life, Merlin.” “I won’ t,” Merlin smiled. “I really need to find some clothes. I stole these from a village after the Lake of A valon spit me out naked and disoriented.” “Then it is a good thing that Gaius and I kept all your belongings. Y ou will find everything in your old room. Including your magic book and the Sidhe staf f and whatever else you had hidden beneath the floorboards.” “Really?” Merlin asked, “Why was everyone so certain that I would return?” “We had faith Merlin, because to believe anything else was too painful. Arthur believed more than anyone. He would visit the lake often and speak with Kilgharrah on a regular basis. He was convinced that one day you would return.” “I didn’ t know ,” Merlin said. “The man loves you.” “Arthur said that he told Gwen, after I died, he told her what I meant to him.” “Yes, Gwen and I talked about it. She adored you, Merlin. She was so grateful to have Arthur alive and well and the kingdom was safe from Mor gana at last. She knew you loved Arthur and that he loved you.” “I am really scared that if I accept that this is all real, that I can finally have Arthur…” “You’re afraid something will happen to take it all away .” “Yes.” “Then all the more reason to live in the present, my boy .” “You’re right.” “Of course, I am,” Hunith beamed, “Now finish your food and go find your king.” “I am really glad you’re here,” Merlin smiled. “Nowhere I would rather be. Before you go, you should clean up and change your clothes.” “Wish I had a tub. I could really use a bath.” “There’ s one in your room,” Hunith smiled, “Arthur had it brought in here for me before I moved to Gwen’ s old house. Should I have water brought in?” Merlin grinned, “I think I can handle it.” “Good,” Hunith got up wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek, “I do love you, my boy . I need to take some salve to Evoric then I am going home for the evening. Give Arthur my love.” “Yes, mother ,” Merlin chuckled. “See you tomorrow ,” Hunith laughed then left the room closing the door behind her . Merlin got up cleaned their plates with a word then moved about the room touching every surface, inhaling the familiar scent of herbs and woodsmoke. T ears came to his eyes as he remembered Gaius, his snoring, and the eyebrow that struck fear in the strongest knight. “Gods, I miss you, old friend,” Merlin said softly , trailing his fingers along the stone hearth. He moved a chest from the table to the shelf where it had always been. He looked around then headed up the steps to his old room pushing the door open to find it just as he had left it except for the lar ge oval wooden tub by the wall. He tilted his head holding out a hand and the tub filled with steaming hot water and all the candles in the room flared to life casting a golden glow around the walls of the room he never thought he would see again. Opening the cupboard, he found his clothes clean and folded. His neckerchiefs and belts and his favorite brown jacket and two pairs of his boots. Hanging up on hooks were three brand- new tunics, blue, purple, and red. There were two new pairs of trousers dark blue and black, and a new pair of black boots. “Arthur ,” he smiled, “Y ou really did believe I would return.” Stripping of f his clothes and boots he slipped into the water with a deep sigh and closed his eyes. He felt a rush of emotions…grief, longing, pain, anguish…like sliding into a pit so deep and dark he could easily get lost in it. Then there was love, like a beacon, shining bright and clear showing him the way back out. His shoulders trembled, tears sliding down his face as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyelids. Arthur climbed the steps to Merlin’ s old room, he stopped at the door as he heard Merlin’ s quiet sobs. He splayed his hand against the wood not sure whether to intrude or to walk away . Shaking his head, he let out a breath and pushed the door open. He saw Merlin in the tub, head down. He closed the door and crossed the floor to kneel next to the tub. “Merlin,” he whispered placing a hand on the back of his head then gently caressed his neck, “Merlin, you are home…you’re here with me. Everything is going to be all right.” Arthur leaned forward pressing his lips to the back of Merlin’ s shoulder . It scared him to no end to see him like this, so broken and vulnerable. “Merlin, look at me, please,” he said, and Merlin turned his head, his eyes wide and dark with pain. “Arthur ,” he said. “I’m sorry ,” Arthur said brushing his thumb over the sensitive place behind Merlin’ s ear. Merlin shook his head, “I just…everything just hit me…” “I know , believe me…I’ve had many of those moments in the last few years. I understand.” “I mean, I am so grateful to be home…” “But you feel overwhelmed by all that you have lost.” Merlin nodded, “And I’m really scared, Arthur…that all this…that we…” He shook his head then leaned back, resting it on the edge of the tub. “Me too,” Arthur said then leaned over to grab the washcloth and soap. He slowly and tenderly began to wash the dirt and grime from Merlin’ s neck and chest. “Just lie back, I’m going to look after you for a change.” “You don’ t have to,” Merlin shook his head. “Yes, I do,” Arthur said as he raised Merlin’ s right arm out of the water easing the soap and cloth over his pale skin and lean muscles wrapping a hand around his slender wrist as he washed his long fingers and palm before pressing his lips to the center of it. “Y ou took care of me, but you had no one to take care of you. That changes now .” “Arthur…” “Shh, close your eyes and just let me do this, Merlin,” Arthur said then took hold of his left arm repeating the motions. He leaned over pressing his lips to Merlin’ s chest. The scars that Merlin used to have were gone…where there had once been raised white jagged ridges of flesh, was now smooth pale white skin. “This is strange,” Merlin gave a husky moan as Arthur ’s hand slid down his stomach to his hip and down his thigh to his knee lifting it from the water to wash it. He repeated the motion with the other leg and Merlin let out a shaky breath and an even deeper moan. “Feel good, does it?” Arthur asked with a crooked grin. “It’s not unpleasant,” Merlin trembled and let out a gasp as his king slid a hand up his inner thigh hesitating just a moment before going further , slowly wrapping around his fully hard cock. “Arthur!” he growled, and Arthur laughed softly . “Finally ,” he said slowly stroking Merlin as he leaned over and kissed him. “Gods, Arthur…” “You are much bigger than I imagined,” Arthur said against his lips. “You imagined my…” Merlin’ s laugh was cut of f by a guttural groan of pleasure as Arthur ’s thumb and forefinger wrapped around the head. “Arthur…oh, that…don’ t stop, please. Gods, that feels so good.” “I have no intention of stopping,” Arthur said kissing him deeper , his tongue asking for and gaining entrance to Merlin’ s warm wet mouth, their tongues moving together as he pleasured him with his sword-callused hand. “I’m going to make you come for me.” “Arthur…I’m so close,” Merlin panted arching into the king’ s grip as he stroked his full length. He wanted it to last, he struggled to hold back, but it just felt too good. It wasn’ t just anyone touching him so intimately , it was Arthur…his Arthur . “Don’ t hold back, Merlin, just let go. I want you to.” Merlin tilted his head back and cried out Arthur ’s name. His chest heaving his hands gripping the edge of the tub as his lips parted and he shuddered violently as he came, spilling his seed in the bathwater . His eyes closed tightly; he bit down on his bottom lip. “Feel better?” Arthur asked as he nuzzled his neck and kissed the spot behind his ear while lazily stroking his cock. “Oh, yes,” Merlin gasped still quivering, the muscles in his stomach and thighs clenching and releasing with the force of his release. Arthur got to his feet and then leaned over to kiss him. “I’ll leave you to finish. Get dressed and join me in my chambers for dinner .” Merlin opened his eyes noticing the obvious bulge in Arthur ’s trousers. “But you need…” “Later , Merlin,” he said then tenderly washed his face and smiled. “W ear the purple one,” he said then kissed Merlin deeply before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Merlin huf fed a laugh then quickly finished washing and got out of the tub to dry of f and dress. He put on the black trousers and purple tunic then slipped on the new black boots. He gave up on his hair leaving it wet and messy then headed for Arthur ’s chambers. Just as he approached the door it opened, and he found himself face to face with Geor ge who looked at him at first with surprise then a tight smile. “Merlin, welcome home,” he said stif fly then with a bow he moved past him and down the corridor . “Are you just going to stand there with your mouth open?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Did Geor ge just bow to me?” “Get used to it, Merlin, you’re not a servant anymore.” “I’ll always be your servant, Arthur . Nice clothes and a title won’ t change that,” Merlin chuckled as he walked in and closed the door . “Lock it, I don’ t want to be disturbed,” Arthur wagged an eyebrow and Merlin laughed slipping the lock into place then moved toward the table where there was a veritable feast laid out for the two of them. “Um, Arthur…what you did for me back in my room…” Arthur closed the distance between them and kissed him, “That’ s just a taste of what I have in store for you, Merlin.” He looked down taking in his appearance and shook his head, “I always did love you in purple.” “I can’ t believe you had new clothes waiting for me. Y ou really had faith that I would return.” “I did,” Arthur kissed him again, “I had to keep the faith or go mad with grief.” Merlin shook his head, “I never considered how much my death would af fect you. I never meant to bring you so much pain.” “It doesn’ t matter now , you are back. Now sit down with me and eat,” Arthur motioned toward the table and Merlin sat down in the chair while Arthur took the one across from him and poured the wine. The king looked at him his blue eyes filled with concern. “Merlin, is there something bothering you?” “There are things I need to tell you, but I’m not sure how .” “I thought we were beyond secrets,” Arthur said, raising an eyebrow . “Come on, out with it.” “Well, first, I met your mother . She was beautiful and so sweet. W e talked about you and I told her everything. She is so proud of you, Arthur . She loves you so much. She also told me everything your father did.” “So, what she told me was true?” Merlin nodded, “I lied to you back then and I’m sorry . I thought I was doing the right thing.” “You did the right thing, Merlin. It’ s all right. Thank you for telling me. It feels good knowing mother is proud of me. That’ s not all though is it?” Merlin tore of f a piece of bread and a hunk of meat then shook his head. “When I was in Avalon, the night of Gavin’ s birth, I sensed your fear , your despair , and Gwen’ s pain.” Arthur stopped eating and took a drink of wine. “Y ou did?” Merlin nodded, “I used magic to look in on you and I saw everything. I begged the Goddess to save Gwen and the baby . I told her I would do anything.” “Merlin, what did you do?” Arthur asked warily . “I wanted to save them both, Arthur ,” Merlin’ s eyes filled with tears. “The Goddess…she forced me to choose. She said I could save the queen or the child, that if I didn’ t choose, they would both die. I—I chose to save Gavin. I let Gwen die. I’m so sorry , Arthur…if I could have saved her…” Arthur stared at Merlin, his eyes wide and dark. Merlin dropped his gaze to his hands and stilled, not daring to breathe, waiting for his king’ s wrath. When it didn’ t come, he dared to look up and Arthur was shaking his head. He slammed his fists down on the arms of his chair making Merlin flinch. “I—I’m so sorry ,” he choked on the words then slid his chair back getting ready to leave the room. “Where are you going?” Arthur asked, his voice hard. “I understand why you’re angry , I don’ t blame you,” Merlin said, “I’ll just go.” “Merlin,” Arthur said then got up walking around the table to grip his forearms, “I am not angry at you. No one should be forced to make such a choice. No one. I am so sorry the Goddess did that to you. It wasn’ t fair.” “But Gwen,” Merlin said, quickly averting his gaze. “Merlin, listen to me,” Arthur cupped his chin lifting his eyes again, “What she made you do was cruel. I am not angry at you; I am angry at what she did to you. T o be forced to choose between your dearest friend and the life of her baby .” “When I said that I felt like I was betraying Gwen, this is why . I can’ t help but wonder what she would think of my being here…” Merlin swallowed hard, “I saw her in A valon, and I told her what happened. She told me I made the right choice, and that the life of her child was all that mattered to her . But now I am here, and she isn’ t…” “Merlin, you know my mother died giving birth to me. Guinevere and I talked about it at length. She told me that if anything were to go wrong that she would gladly die to save our baby . You made the right choice. Guinevere loved Gavin with all that she was. She would not have wanted to live if he had died. It was not fair that you were put in that position, but I love my son more than life and I am grateful. It was so hard to lose her , but if I had lost them both…” “I couldn’ t let you lose them both,” Merlin said softly , shaking his head. “Thank you, Merlin,” Arthur said then drew him into his arms and kissed him, “I don’ t want you to feel like your being here is a betrayal to Guinevere. Please, let it go.” “I’ll try ,” he nodded. “Good,” Arthur cupped his cheek, “Now sit and eat.” They returned to the table eating in silence for a while until Arthur pushed his chair back and went to look out the windows. Folding his arms across his chest. Merlin watched him for a moment, he knew that look, Arthur was thinking. “Arthur?” he asked. “Merlin, I’m sorry .” “For what?” “From the moment we met I treated you horribly . I took you for granted and I expected far more from you than any servant before you. I dragged you into dangerous situations that, as a servant, you had no business being in. Merlin, I put you at risk time and time again, for purely selfish reasons…because I couldn’ t bear to be apart from you. I needed you like I needed air to breathe. I think I knew even then that I loved you and because of that kept you at arm’ s length not allowing myself to admit to those feelings. I thought if I could pretend, they didn’ t exist I would be able to love someone else and no one would ever have to know that I was completely in love with my manservant. I think my father began to suspect something was going on when I chose to go after the Mortaeus flower to save your life. So, I had to be even more careful, because if he ever found out the truth he would have either banished or executed you.” Merlin remained silent sensing that Arthur needed to get his feelings out. “When you went missing after the rockfall, which I assume you caused to protect me, I was lost. All I could think about was that you were out there somewhere in danger and that I never told you what you meant to me. When you told me about your magic, I reacted badly . I was hurt and angry because you lied to me, and you didn’ t trust me with such a huge part of who you are. But then I realized that I never gave you any reason to. How many times did I tell you to your face that magic was pure evil, that it corrupted people? I belittled you and treated you like a fool. Y ou watched me follow my father ’s orders like a mindless attack dog. Y ou had every reason in the world to keep your secret from me.” “Arthur , if I could go back, I would tell you in the beginning. I wanted you to know . I nearly told you that day in Ealdor…if Mor gana hadn’ t walked in to tell us Kanen and his men had crossed the river , I would have.” Arthur nodded, “I know that now , but Merlin, I am not sure what I would have done back then. I cannot say for certain that I wouldn’ t have left you in Ealdor or turned you over to my father .” “Still, I should have trusted you.” “I know I told you that the past doesn’ t matter anymore, but it does. I cannot make up for the way I treated you and I cannot make up for all the pain and loss you suf fered because of me. Will, Freya, your father…and then you died for me.” “And I told you I would do it all over again,” Merlin said then got up from his chair going to stand in front of his king. “I love you, Arthur . I want to be with you. W e both made mistakes, but we are here now , and I don’ t want to keep things from you anymore. I want no barriers between us.” Arthur smiled and kissed him, “I want to love you the way you deserve.” “We can start right now ,” Merlin grinned then deepened the kiss. “Clothes are definitely a barrier ,” Arthur growled against his lips. “Yes, they are.” “I missed you undressing me.” “I may be out of practice,” Merlin chuckled staring into Arthur ’s eyes. “I’m sure it will all come back to you.” “Hmm, yes,” Merlin smiled backing Arthur toward the bed, tugging at the laces of Arthur ’s trousers, “I can’ t stop thinking about what happened in my room earlier . Seeing you hard for me.” “It’s not the first time,” Arthur grinned kissing Merlin harder . “You asked me if I have been with anyone, were you ever with anyone other than Gwen?” “When I was younger before you came to Camelot. I was with a woman once and experimented with fellow knights, but nothing like what I want to do with you.” “Really?” Merlin asked with a smirk. “Merlin, I want your mouth on me, please,” Arthur said with a hitch in his voice, “So many times I imagined those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock.” “Yes, Sire,” Merlin smiled dropping to his knees. He hooked his fingers beneath the waist of Arthur ’s trousers drawing them down freeing his engor ged cock. He let out a long, drawn- out moan as Merlin licked the full length from base to tip before swallowing him down licking and sucking and stroking him mercilessly until Arthur ’s knees were trembling. “Gods, Merlin,” Arthur gasped tangling his fingers in Merlin’ s dark hair , “It’s even better than I imagined. Y our mouth…” His hips stuttered as the head of his cock hit the back of Merlin’ s throat and he sucked in his cheeks. “Oh, yes…Merlin, so good.” Merlin drew back looking up at Arthur with such absolute love and desire. “Arthur , I want you to take me…please.” “Yes, Merlin…I want to,” Arthur said drawing him up to his feet and kissing him hard and deep. He pulled Merlin’ s tunic of f and removed his trousers after he kicked of f his boots. He stood before his king fully naked, his beautiful pale skin begging to be touched and kissed and marked by Arthur…claimed at last. “Arthur ,” his eyes flashed gold and he kissed him, “I’m ready please…” Arthur kicked of f his own trousers and tunic then eased Merlin back against the bed. “Y ou’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he kissed him. Merlin laid back on the bed and Arthur moved between his parted thighs his fingers finding him slick and open for him. He let out a low moan and pressed the head of his cock against his entrance biting down on his bottom lip as he struggled to slow down, to keep himself from the edge. Merlin kissed him passionately wrapping his long legs around Arthur . “Now , please, Arthur ,” he whispered huskily , “I need you inside me.” “I don’ t want to hurt you.” “You won’ t,” Merlin panted, “Please, I have waited so long.” Arthur kissed him full on the lips then dragged one hand down to Merlin’ s heavy cock stroking him slowly as he drove his hips forward into Merlin, groaning as the wet heat of his body enveloped him. “Oh, God,” Arthur whispered, “Y ou feel so good.” “Arthur , yes, please…” Arthur thrust into Merlin hard and deep and fast completely losing himself in the intensity of the joining of their bodies. It was even more incredible than he ever could have imagined. “Merlin, you’re mine at last…I love you,” he gasped. “I love you too,” Merlin breathed out throwing his head back, his eyes closed, and lips parted in a wordless cry of sheer pleasure. Arthur ’s cock filled him so completely , awakening his body in ways he never dreamed possible. His magic wrapped around them, and he laughed breathlessly as he felt it caressing Arthur ’s body and his king’ s eyes opened wide in surprise. “That feels strange,” Arthur moaned feeling Merlin’ s magic brushing over his skin like a thousand butterflies. “Incredible,” he gasped. Arthur pulled out of Merlin earning him a whine of protest. He moved onto the bed and laid down. Merlin moved on top of him immediately impaling himself on Arthur ’s cock once again. Arthur slid his hands over his shoulders and down his back to cup his arse while he rode him slowly , reveling in every movement. “Merlin…I’m close, so close.” “Touch me, Arthur ,” Merlin moaned as he rotated his hips and bore down on Arthur fully and his hand wrapped around Merlin’ s cock stroking him. “Y es, so good,” he gasped. “Merlin, now ,” Arthur moaned arching up into him as he spilled his seed deep inside him at last and Merlin followed him over the edge coating his hand in his own come. “Arthur…holy hell,” Merlin shuddered and trembled on top of him. “That was incredible,” Arthur laughed breathlessly . “Gods, why did we wait so long?” Merlin asked. “We were clearly idiots.” Easing of f Arthur , Merlin laid down next to him and they kissed. Chests pressed together , skin glistening with sweat. “I love you,” Merlin smiled. “I love you, Merlin,” Arthur grinned his thumb stroking his cheek and gliding across his bottom lip. “Always. Stay the night with me.” “I think I can be persuaded,” Merlin grinned kissing him lazily as they clung to each other . Arthur brought his hand up and removed his silver ring sliding it onto Merlin’ s finger bringing tears to his eyes. “Arthur , I can’ t…” “You can, Merlin. I want everyone to know what we are to each other now . Wear it always.” “But it was your mother ’s.” “And she would want you to have it.” “Are you sure?” “Yes,” Arthur kissed him. “Thank you,” Merlin smiled kissing him back. “Are you tired?” Arthur asked. “Not really .” “Feel like going to the tavern?” Merlin grinned, “Y ou want to go to the tavern?” “I think we should go. Gwaine and the others are there tonight. I know they want to welcome you home too.” “What about Gavin’ s story time?” “Already taken care of. The poor little one was exhausted. He was out before I got to the bit about the unicorn.” “In that case, let’ s go to the tavern,” Merlin grinned. Arthur kissed him then they got out of bed cleaned up and got dressed. Merlin’ s hair was all over the place and Arthur laughed trying to tame it to no avail. “I think you may need a little magic for this,” Arthur smiled, “Y ou walk in looking like that and they will know exactly what we have been up to.” “I thought you wanted everyone to know ,” Merlin grinned. “I want them to know we are together but what we do in our bedroom is none of their business,” Arthur said kissing him. “Y ou know Gwaine…” “Ah yes, I do,” Merlin smiled then with a word his magic smoothed his hair . “Better?” “I shall look forward to messing it up again later ,” Arthur said huskily then pulled him close, “You are beautiful, Merlin.” “Am I really?” “Gods, yes, absolutely ethereally so.” “I still can’ t quite believe this is happening.” “We just made love,” Arthur grinned, “And if we don’ t get going, I am going to mess up that hair right now .” Merlin laughed then headed for the door and unlocked it. They left Arthur ’s chambers heading down the corridor out of the castle and toward the lower town. The Rising Sun was full of people when they entered. Musicians were playing in the corner and there were couples dancing. Gwaine spotted them immediately and waved them over . “Didn’ t expect to see you two tonight,” he winked, and Arthur gave him a stern look, though his eyes were filled with amusement. “I figured you all would want to welcome Merlin home,” he smirked. “Aye that we do,” Gwaine said embracing Merlin, “Y ou look really good, old friend. Happy .” “I am,” Merlin smiled shyly lowering his head for a moment, “It feels good to be back.” “Look at you,” Leon said, “All dressed up.” The knight embraced Merlin. “It is good to see you.” “Merlin,” Percival said placing a big hand on his shoulder , “Welcome home, you were missed.” “Thank you,” Merlin smiled then followed Arthur to a bench on the other side of the long table where the knights were sitting. They sat down and Evoric brought them tankards of mead. “Merlin, dear boy , it is so good to see you again,” he said, “W elcome back.” “Good to see you too, Evoric,” Merlin grinned, “How’ s Greta and the kids?” “Greta is well, she is visiting her sister in Brenwell, she will be delighted to see you. The kids have all grown and moved away , but they are doing well. James will be moving home to take over the tavern in a few months I am getting too old for this. I must get back to my patrons. Again, welcome back, Merlin.” Arthur leaned close linking their fingers together . “Are you all right? If it is too overwhelming we can go.” “No, I want to stay ,” Merlin said. “Good,” Arthur smiled then kissed him earning them a series of whistles and cheers from the knights. They both rolled their eyes and smiled. “It’s about time,” Leon chuckled, and Arthur looked at his old friend and first knight. “What are you on about?” he asked him. “Poetry ,” Leon grinned. “Right,” Arthur nodded, and Merlin laughed, his blue eyes wide and filled with mirth. It was so good to see Merlin happy and alive. His heart swelled with love and quietness even in the midst of the gaiety . The other half of his soul was back where he belonged, and he would never let anything come between them again. “I love you.” Merlin kissed him, “I love you too.” Two hours, many more tankards of mead, and a lot of celebrating later , the two of them and Gwaine made their way back to the castle. The three of them were laughing and shoving each other playfully . “Gwaine…you’re drunk,” Arthur said, only slightly slurring his words. “So are you, My Lord,” Gwaine chuckled, “Good thing Merlin is still somewhat sober , or we would be sleeping in the upstairs room again.” “You two slept in the inn?” Merlin asked. “Yep, after you…we got drunk. Percival and Leon had to practically carry us upstairs,” Arthur grinned. “It’ s not appropriate for a king to get drunk in public…but I am so happy tonight. I have you back,” he said stopping to pull Merlin into his arms for a deep kiss. Gwaine laughed, “Y ou’re worried about getting drunk in public and you’re making out with Merlin in the street.” “Shut up, Gwaine,” Merlin grinned kissing Arthur back. “I’ll leave you two be,” Gwaine laughed then headed for his chambers. “Good night, Gwaine,” Arthur chuckled. “Good night, My Lord…good night, Merlin.” Arthur laughed, “Maybe we should take this back to my chambers.” “I have a better idea,” Merlin grinned then took his hand leading Arthur through a door and into the castle. He pulled him into a short corridor and through a door into a stairwell that led up to the tower . They stumbled through a door and into a round room at the top of the tower its windows overlooking the whole city bathed in moonlight. “I haven’ t been up here since I was a child,” Arthur smiled, “I used to love this room.” “I would come here often to think, to practice magic,” Merlin said leaning on the windowsill taking in the view . Arthur stared at him intently and shook his head. “It must have been so lonely , so isolating…being forced to hide who you were.” “It was, but I don’ t have to anymore,” Merlin turned to meet his gaze, his smile bright and open. Arthur moved closer wrapping his arms around him, “Never again, Merlin…never again.” He kissed him deeply then went down on his knees his fingers quickly freeing Merlin’ s half- hard cock swallowing him down. Merlin moaned loudly , one hand on the windowsill and the other on his king’ s head, his fingers tugging at his hair as his mouth devoured his full length. “Arthur , Gods, feels so good,” he gasped tilting his head back, lips parted. “Merlin,” Arthur whispered looking up at him with wild eyes reveling in the feel of Merlin, the taste of Merlin. “Arthur , your mouth,” he breathed out, chest heaving, as he resisted the ur ge to thrust into that wet heat. “My Lord…Sire…Gods, please…” He leaned back against the stone, his knees trembling. “Arthur , I’m close…” Arthur moaned around him and sucked in his cheeks his tongue curling around Merlin’ s cock and a moment later he came with a violent shudder spilling his seed in the mouth of his sovereign. His knees gave out and he collapsed in Arthur ’s arms holding on to him like a lifeline. “Merlin,” Arthur said with a breathless laugh, “Are you all right?” “Ask me that when I can remember my name,” Merlin chuckled. “I love making you come,” Arthur whispered in his ear , “The look of utter bliss on your face…and your eyes…they turn gold for just a moment when you reach the threshold.” “Do they?” Merlin asked with a grin as he looked into Arthur ’s eyes. “Yes, it’ s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Absolutely stunning.” “I’ve never felt like this, Arthur…all my life I was never able to truly be myself with anyone.” “I’m glad you can now…with me,” Arthur smiled kissing him tenderly . Merlin’ s hand stroked the length of Arthur ’s hard shaft through his trousers as they kissed. “Shall I return the favor , Sire?” he asked with a grin. “Stand up,” Arthur said, and Merlin got to his feet. Arthur followed suit and unlaced his trousers. “T urn around and lean on the windowsill.” Merlin obeyed looking back over his shoulder as Arthur ran his hands over the soft flesh of his arse his fingers delving inside him. “Arthur ,” Merlin moaned pressing back against those fingers as he worked him open with only a little aid from magic. “Hold on to something,” Arthur grinned then pulled his fingers out freeing his cock, and stepped forward thrusting into Merlin in one smooth motion, burying himself inside to the hilt. Merlin let out a cry of pleasure his fingers gripping the stone as Arthur rolled his hips making him shiver from head to toe. “Gods, you feel good, Merlin.” “Arthur…” Merlin moaned as they moved together both breathing hard and desperate for more, needing to get closer , to mer ge their bodies and souls for eternity . “Harder , please,” Merlin gasped thrusting back against his king the head of his cock brushing against the spot inside him that made him see stars and his knees go weak. “I love you,” Arthur growled pounding into Merlin harder and faster until he spilled inside him with such force that he swore he nearly lost consciousness. “Gods, Merlin…” Merlin could not speak, he was so lost in the moment, the ecstasy of release. He barely touched himself and he was coming, spilling his seed over his hand. He pressed his forehead to the cool of the stone wall and Arthur curled around him. “Never like this with anyone else,” Arthur whispered against the back of his head, “Only you, Merlin…only you.” “Arthur ,” Merlin said breathlessly . “Are you all right? I didn’ t hurt you did I?” “Oh, I am good…amazing in fact,” Merlin said leaning back into his arms. “I wonder if I can let Leon run the kingdom for a week or two and we can stay in my chambers and make love over and over .” Merlin laughed, “As brilliant as that would be, I’m not sure it would be a good idea. People will think I enchanted you or something to distract you from your duties.” “You are a wonderful distraction,” Arthur kissed him. “Come on, it is getting cold up here,” Merlin said, “Let’ s go back to your chambers.” They righted their clothing smoothed down their hair and headed back down the spiral staircase. W alking hand in hand down the corridor of the silent palace. This is how it was always meant to be. This was their destiny realized. “Merlin,” Arthur said as they reached the door of his room. “Yeah?” Merlin asked. “I am not sure what I will need to do to make it possible under the laws of Camelot, but I want you to be mine in every way . I want to marry you. If you will have me.” Merlin’ s eyes went wide and bright, “Arthur…” “Merlin, will you marry me?” Arthur asked taking hold of both hands, his thumb tracing the silver ring on his finger . “Please, I love you and I want you to be my husband.” “Yes,” Merlin said tears shining in his eyes, “Y es, Arthur , I will marry you. If that is even possible.” Arthur sur ged forward and kissed him deeply , “I will do whatever it takes to make it happen.” “If not then perhaps we can be bound in other ways,” Merlin smiled. Arthur kissed him deeply and then opened the door . They went inside and Merlin closed and locked the door again. He poured them some wine and started the fire in the hearth to ward off the chill of the room while Arthur cleaned up and got ready for bed. Merlin watched him with a crooked grin on his face as he washed and undressed. “What?” Arthur asked when he noticed. “You really have learned to do things for yourself.” “I can unlearn if you prefer ,” Arthur grinned. “Actually , I kind of like this new independent you,” Merlin said as he closed the distance between them and pulled of f his tunic and boots. “Do you now?” “Mmm, yes, it’ s really kind of nice to not have to worry about chores. I can focus on much more rewarding endeavors.” “Please do,” Arthur smirked as Merlin kissed his neck and shoulder . “Yes, My Lord,” he said then kissed him full on the mouth. The New Prophecy Merlin sat on the floor in the secret room of the library surrounded by piles of magic books sorted by the type of magic they contained and subject matter . He was surprised that so many had survived Uther ’s pur ge and suspected that Geof frey had kept them in this room on purpose. There’ s no way the man did not know this room existed. His suspicions were confirmed when he found a book, more of a record. It was in the old librarian’ s handwriting the dates listed were all after the start of the Great Pur ge. It listed the books that had been destroyed. Merlin smiled, Geof frey had been working behind Uther ’s back to protect materials that were rare and that he could not bear to see lost forever . Getting to his feet, Merlin walked over to a long shelf, he waved a hand banishing the layers of dust and cobwebs then his eyes flashed gold and each shelf was engraved with magic runes that would protect the books from everything from fire to flood. He then arranged them on the newly cleaned shelves. “Merlin!” Merlin turned around grinning at the sound of Gavin’ s voice. He walked to the panel, pushed it open, and stepped through into the main library . “Merlin, there you are,” Gavin smiled running to him. “Hello, what are you doing here, little one?” “Hunith brought me.” Just then Hunith came around the corner . “There you are, young man, you are getting too fast for me,” she laughed. “Merlin, you’re covered in dust, what are you doing in here?” “Cleaning the secret room, or ganizing the magic books that were hidden in there. I am taking over for Geof frey.” “Aren’ t you taking on too much, so soon?” she asked, “Physician and librarian?” Merlin huf fed a laugh, “Believe me compared to being Gaius’ apprentice, Arthur ’s manservant, and secret defender of Camelot, this is a piece of cake.” “I suppose so,” Hunith said, “I just worry .” “I’m fine, mother , really ,” Merlin grinned kissing her cheek. “You do look happy ,” she smiled knowingly , “I assume you and Arthur…” Merlin blushed, “Y es, he wants me to marry him.” “Oh, that is wonderful news.” “It may never happen, but it is nice knowing that it’ s what he wants.” “Arthur loves you, Merlin. I am certain he will find a way .” “What if the people, the court won’ t accept us being together?” “Does it matter?” Hunith asked, “As long as you and Arthur love each other?” “No, it doesn’ t,” Merlin grinned then kissed Gavin’ s cheek. “I want books,” Gavin said wrapping his arms around Merlin’ s neck. “Then let’ s find you some books,” Merlin laughed. Arthur paced the empty council chambers his arms folded across his chest. He’d woken up from a nightmare to an empty bed, empty chambers. For a fleeting moment, he feared that he had dreamed it all, that Merlin was still dead. Then he looked over at the tangled bedding, the imprint from another head on the pillows and he smiled. He’s spent the entire morning pouring over the laws of Camelot looking for a way to make it possible for him and Merlin to marry . For Merlin to be accepted as his and to rule by his side. He had trusted members of the court working out the details. W ith luck, he and Merlin could be married within a month. He smiled running his fingers through his hair . He needed a haircut and now that Merlin was back… “Sire,” Leon said as he came through the door , “Riders are approaching the gates. They wear the colors of Deorham.” “Alined’ s men…” Arthur frowned, “Show them to the throne room. I will see them immediately .” “Very well,” Leon nodded and left. Arthur took a breath and then headed for the throne room. He spotted Gwaine in the corridor . “Gwaine, I need you to go to the library and find Merlin. T ell him to dress and meet me in the throne room we have guests. Alined’ s men.” Gwaine nodded, “I’ll go. What do you think this is about?” “Not sure, but I need Merlin there with me.” “Right, I’ll go get him and we will meet you in the throne room,” Gwaine said then took of f running down the corridor . Merlin was just leaving the library when Gwaine rounded the corner . “What’ s wrong?” he asked. “Arthur sent me to find you, Alined’ s men are here. He needs you to dress up pretty and join him in the throne room.” “What do they want?” Merlin asked as they headed for the physician’ s chambers so he could clean up and change clothes. “No idea, but it can’ t be good.” Hunith was preparing a remedy when they walked in, and Gavin was sitting on the bed looking at a book of pictures of mythical creatures. “Merlin, Gwaine,” she smiled. “Mother , I need you to keep Gavin here, do not let him out of your sight. Alined’ s men are here, and we don’ t know what they want,” Merlin said as he ran up the steps to his room and closed the door . He used magic to heat water in a bowl, washed up quickly then put on his new dark blue trousers and the red tunic with the gold embroidered collar and cuf fs. Slipped on his black boots and tamed his hair with magic then headed back downstairs. Hunith reached up to fix the collar and patted his cheek. “I will keep Gavin here with me,” she nodded, “T ell Arthur he is safe.” “I love you,” Merlin kissed her forehead then bent to ruf fle Gavin’ s hair . “Gavin, you will protect my mother for me?” “I will,” the boy beamed up at him. “Gwaine,” Merlin nodded, and they left the room. Arthur looked up as the door opened and Merlin walked in with Gwaine right behind him. He approached looking around warily . “Where are they?” he asked. “They are on their way up now ,” Arthur said as he looked Merlin over from head to toe and smiled making an appreciative sound. “W e definitely need to get the tailor to make you more new clothes. Y ou look incredible.” “Thank you, My Lord,” Merlin grinned, leaning in for a kiss, but Gwaine cleared his throat alerting them to the arrival of their guests and he moved to stand behind Arthur ’s throne, but the king gripped his wrist and drew him forward to stand beside him. “Your Majesty ,” Leon said, “I present the delegation from King Alined. They asked for an audience with you in regard to the actions of Prince Amren.” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, then Leon stepped aside, and the men entered. “Your highness, King Arthur ,” the leader said, “I am Sir Harak, first knight of Deorham. King Alined sent us with an of fering and his deepest apologies for the actions of his son Prince Amren in the kidnapping of your son Prince Gavin.” Arthur raised an eyebrow , “He is admitting that Amren was involved?” “Yes, My Lord,” Harak said, “The prince confessed to the king what he had done after some persuasion. King Alined has disinherited him and named his daughter , Princess Fiona as his successor to the throne.” “And what is this of fering?” Arthur asked. Harak motioned to one of his men who moved to the door and gestured to someone in the corridor . A man in restraints, with a hood over his head, was dragged into the throne room and forced onto his knees at Arthur ’s feet. The hood was then removed to reveal a terrified Prince Amren. “King Alined wishes to avoid war ,” Harak said, “Prince Amren is at your mercy , to face sentencing for the crime of kidnapping your son.” Arthur stared down at the prince, he was only a year older than Arthur . They had known each other as boys. The man had grown up pampered and protected. “Amren,” Arthur said, “What do you have to say for yourself? Y ou kidnapped my son.” “King Arthur , I deeply regret what I did. I was angry at my father for giving away my birthright.” “My son could have been killed,” Arthur said his voice sharp and hard. “I know , My Lord, I beg of you, if you intend to kill me, make it quick.” Arthur gave Merlin a sidelong glance and Merlin gave him a barely discernable nod. He turned his attention back to Prince Amren. “On your feet, Amren,” Arthur said. The prince obeyed, with help from Harak, reluctantly meeting Arthur ’s gaze. “Please, Y our Majesty…” Amren practically whimpered. “Your father has banished you?” “Yes,” he said his voice trembling. Arthur let out a breath and shook his head, “Everything in me wants to have you put to death for what you did, but it seems that letting you live will be a greater punishment. Y ou will be released, Prince Amren. Y ou will leave Camelot…leave the five kingdoms never to return. Is that understood?” “Yes, My Lord, thank you…your mercy is appreciated. I will do as you have ordered. Y ou have shown that you are a good and strong king.” Arthur took a step toward him, and the prince paled, “It is not mercy , Amren. What you did was cruel and unfor givable. But if we are to achieve lasting peace in the kingdoms, it must be without bloodshed. I am not my father . If I were you would be dead already . I choose to let you live with what you have done and what you have lost because of your decision.” “King Arthur ,” Sir Harak bowed, “W e will inform King Alined of your decision.” “Very well,” Arthur nodded, “Now remove him from my court, please.” Gwaine and Leon glanced at Arthur nodding then followed the men out. Merlin released a breath and then took hold of his king’ s hand. “That was a tough decision,” he said softly . “Yes, but the right one,” Arthur smiled. “Are you all right?” “As long as you are by my side, yes,” he said then kissed Merlin tenderly . “I’m proud of you,” Merlin grinned. “Proud of your king?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “Of you,” Merlin kissed him. “Funny , even though my father so rarely said those words to me, they mean so much more coming from you, Merlin. I want so much to be worthy of your love, your loyalty , and devotion.” Merlin shook his head, “Arthur…” “I love you, Merlin.” “And I love you, Y our Majesty .” “Now you use titles,” Arthur chuckled. “You’d rather I call you a prat? “Actually , yes.” “I love you, Prat,” Merlin grinned then kissed him deeply . The lower town was just beginning to stir as the sun rose in the east. A lone figure wrapped in a dark green cloak the hood covering her long dark hair walked with determination, her back straight and head high. As she walked through the lower town she lowered the hood. The people gasped their eyes going wide in fear as they stared in disbelief. She gave them a hesitant smile and continued on her way the people parting to let her through. She walked into the square only to find herself surrounded by knights. The alarm bells went of f alerting the citadel to the intruder . Arthur and Merlin heard them from their chambers. There was a knock on the door . It opened and Gwaine entered. “Arthur…” he said his eyes filled with fear . “What is it?” Arthur asked. “In the square, it’ s Mor gana. She has returned.” Merlin’ s eyes widened and he took of f running with Arthur and Gwaine close behind. He charged down the stairs and out the doors heading down the steps. He pushed between two of the knights. Reaching Mor gana, he drew her behind him protectively and shook his head. “Stop, please,” he said, “She means no harm.” “Merlin,” Mor gana said, sounding annoyed, “I don’ t need you to protect me.” “Doesn’ t look that way to me,” Merlin grinned. “Mor gana,” Arthur said as he came down the steps. “Arthur…” “Is it really you?” he asked motioning for the knights to stand down. Morgana moved from behind Merlin approaching her brother . She bowed her head and then knelt at his feet. She looked up at him, tears in her jade-green eyes. “It is me, the real me, Y our Highness,” she said her voice soft, but edged with fear and uncertainty . “Merlin told me everything,” Arthur said then crouched in front of her catching her completely by surprise. “I’m sorry , Mor gana.” Morgana shook her head, tears sliding down her cheeks, “Why are you apologizing to me?” “I failed you,” Arthur said reaching out to brush a tear away with his thumb, “I was blind to your pain, your fear . What our father did to you was wrong, just as he was wrong about magic.” “Arthur , what I did…” Mor gana choked back a sob. “It wasn’ t you…well, it wasn’ t all you. I know that now . How are you back?” Morgana glanced at Merlin then turned back to Arthur , “The Goddess, she said I could return, but I can only stay if I can earn your for giveness, Arthur . I know I don’ t deserve it… Arthur smiled and pulled her into his embrace, “Y ou have it, Mor gana…if you can for give me.” Mor gana’ s whole body shook with relieved sobs as she clung to her brother . Merlin met Arthur ’s gaze with a wide grin and a nod. “I’m so sorry , Arthur ,” Mor gana gasped. “Welcome home, my sister…I love you,” Arthur smiled cupping the back of her head. Morgana stif fened and drew back releasing him, then stood up. She closed her eyes tilting her head back as what looked like falling stars shot across the sky conver ging on one point to become a beam of silver light, pure and beautiful aimed down at the ground, at Mor gana. She raised her arms into the air and the beam came down flowing into her . She opened her eyes; they were a brilliant silver . “What’ s happening?” Arthur asked Merlin. “It’s her magic, it has been purified and it is returning to her ,” he said. “Oh,” Mor gana gasped as the magic settled down in her core where it belonged. “Mor gana?” Merlin smiled. “This is incredible,” she breathed out slowly , “Merlin…” “You have your magic back,” Arthur said. “Yes, the Goddess said that I had to have your for giveness in order to stay , but I could only have my magic back if you still have love for me,” Mor gana said with a soft laugh. “I didn’ t think…” “You’re my sister , Mor gana. I hated what you did, but I never hated you. I think a part of me understood why you went down the path you did. Our father lied to us both. He denied you your heritage and your rightful place in the kingdom.” “The throne was never mine to claim,” Mor gana said, “Mor gause, she poisoned me with darkness and hatred. She wanted the power she could only obtain through me. Y ou were always meant to rule, Arthur .” Gwaine moved to stand next to Arthur , his eyes narrowed as he studied Mor gana. She met his gaze with a genuine softness and reassurance. “You’re not her ,” he said. “Gwaine,” Mor gana smiled, “Y ou’re alive.” “Yes, thanks to Merlin.” “I’m glad,” she bowed, “I am so sorry for all that I did to you. I humbly beg your forgiveness.” Gwaine stared at her for a moment then shook his head, “Y ou’re not her…not the Lady Morgana I knew .” “No, Gwaine,” Arthur smiled, “This is the Lady Mor gana that I grew up with, the one who belongs in Camelot. She’ s stubborn, bossy , a little scary , but she is kind, compassionate and she’s my sister .” “And my friend,” Merlin smiled. Morgana turned to him, “Y ou look happy .” “I am,” he grinned then glanced at Arthur . “I missed you,” she said. “I missed you too,” Merlin hugged her and then kissed her forehead. “Father!” Gavin shouted as he came tearing down the steps with Hunith right behind him. Arthur turned and smiled. “Father?” Mor gana asked. “Mor gana, this is Prince Gavin Pendragon, your nephew ,” Arthur said proudly as his son reached the bottom step and stopped. He looked up at Mor gana with a bright smile and blue eyes that could see into the soul. “Look at you,” Mor gana cried dropping to her knees in front of him, “Y ou are beautiful.” Gavin moved closer to her reaching out to touch her cheek. “Y ou’re safe now ,” he said softly , “You don’ t have to be scared no more.” Morgana stared at him her eyes filling with tears. She shook her head unable to speak as Gavin wrapped his little arms around her neck. She held him tightly looking up at Arthur and then Merlin in utter disbelief. “Welcome home, Mor gana,” Arthur smiled. “Gods, look at you,” Mor gana choked back a cry of joy , kissing Gavin’ s little chubby cheek. “Let’ s go inside,” Arthur said scooping Gavin up in his arms. Gwaine extended a hand to Mor gana. She looked at him in surprise before taking it and he helped her up. Merlin put a hand on her lower back guiding her up the steps. “Lady Mor gana,” Hunith said as they reached her . “Hunith,” Mor gana smiled embracing her . “That’ s the beautiful young lady I remember , welcome home.” “Thank you.” “How do you feel?” Merlin asked her as they walked down the corridor . She stopped for a moment to look around then nodded. “I feel free. And incredibly happy . There’ s something dif ferent about you, Merlin…” she said studying him, taking in his new clothes then she spotted the silver ring…Arthur ’s silver ring on his hand. “Oh, this explains a few things.” Merlin blushed, “Y es, well, Arthur and me…” Morgana’ s eyes widened, “It is about time. Y ou two…always looking longingly at each other . Everyone knew you were completely besotted with Arthur and Arthur with you. I just never imagined that he would act on his feelings. He really has changed, hasn’ t he.” “So have I,” Merlin said. “I can see that,” Mor gana beamed, “I am so pleased, Merlin. Y ou deserve to be happy .” “As do you,” he said. “I’m beginning to believe that. I still feel so guilty though.” “I know…I still carry my own guilt, but we have to for give ourselves,” Merlin smiled. “This is your second chance, Mor gana,” Gwaine said, “Don’ t waste it dwelling on the past. If Arthur and Merlin can for give you…” Morgana turned to look at him, “But can you?” Gwaine shook his head, “It’ s strange. I don’ t see you as the same woman who tortured me on more than one occasion and then killed me. As I said, you’re not her .” “How can you not?” she asked. “Maybe if I had known you before, I would feel dif ferently . I cannot reconcile the two versions of you. Maybe that is a good thing.” “Maybe so,” Mor gana smiled looking into his eyes. Merlin went ahead leaving the two of them alone. Gwaine took her arm slipping it through his then followed. Mor gana felt a rush of emotion that was almost overwhelming as they walked into the throne room where Arthur stood with Merlin, Gavin in his arms. Her eyes filled with tears again at the sight and she smiled. “I’m home.” Arthur sat at his desk working on a speech. He couldn’ t focus on the words because he kept looking up at the door every few minutes waiting for Merlin to appear . Where was he? The last three weeks had been insane. There were constant and ongoing discussions with his advisors and lords over the most basic kingdom business. The getting used to having Morgana in his life again and trying to figure out a way to give her back what their father had taken from her , as well as working to change the laws to allow Arthur and Merlin to marry . Then an outbreak of some sort of fever in an outlying village had kept Merlin and Hunith away for five days only to have the same sickness break out in Camelot’ s lower town while they were gone. Mor gana had done her best to take care of the patients until they returned then the three of them worked together until finally , it was under control. Arthur rubbed his eyes and dropped his quill. He slipped on his boots and headed for the door. It was late and the castle was quiet, so he didn’ t care that he was only wearing his trousers and a sleep tunic. He needed to find Merlin. Not finding him in the physician’ s chambers, Arthur headed toward the library . The door creaked when he opened it. The room was dark save for a few scattered candles. The secret room… “Merlin,” Arthur called out as he reached the wall behind which he knew the hidden room lay. He kicked the shelf that tripped the release and it opened. “Merlin?” he said as the panel closed behind him. “Arthur ,” Merlin said, coming out from behind a high shelf lined with ancient books, “What time is it?” “It’s almost midnight,” Arthur smiled, “Are you all right?” “Yes, sorry , I lost track of time,” Merlin grinned. “I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me,” Arthur said his eyes narrowing. “Never ,” Merlin shook his head, “Just a lot to catch up on since the outbreak.” “Are you sure that’ s all it is?” “I am sure. I’m sorry for neglecting you, my king.” Arthur looked around the room and nodded, “This is amazing. I had no idea so much survived my father ’s pur ge.” “Yes, well, some of the books were severely damaged and I had to repair them with magic. Some were beyond saving. The shelves are warded now , they will be protected.” “That’ s good…very good,” Arthur said watching as Merlin stretched to put a book on the higher shelf. He smirked then stepped closer wrapping his arms around him. “It’ s very quiet in here, isn’ t it?” “Mmm, yes,” Merlin grinned as Arthur ’s hands slid beneath his tunic splaying over his flat stomach and he felt the hard ridge of the king’ s arousal pressing against his arse. “What shall your punishment be for neglecting your king, Mer—lin?” “Oh!” Merlin gasped then let out a low moan as Arthur thrust his hips forward pressing him into the shelf, “Gods, more of that…definitely more of that.” Arthur grinned and repeated the movement and Merlin let out a sound of desperate longing. “It’s not punishment if it feels good,” he chuckled. “Arthur ,” Merlin moaned pressing back into him, “Please…” Turning Merlin around Arthur kissed him hard and deep biting his bottom lip and thrusting his tongue into his warm wet mouth as he pressed him back against the shelf. Merlin’ s eyes were wide and dark with arousal his breath coming out in short gasps, his chest heaving. “Merlin,” Arthur growled, rolling his hips into his, “I want you now…” Merlin nodded eagerly , unable to form words he yanked Arthur ’s tunic over his head kissing his chest, neck, and shoulder . It was the king’ s turn to moan filthily , his hips stuttering as Merlin’ s hands quickly unlaced his trousers and pushed them down to his broad muscular thighs. Arthur shoved his hand down the front of Merlin’ s trousers gripping his hard cock. “Gods, Arthur!” he gasped kissing Arthur again, their hot breath mingling as their tongues moved together . They were both completely out of their minds, needing to feel every touch, every thrust. “Merlin,” Arthur whispered huskily pushing his trousers down and Merlin kicked them of f with his boots as Arthur lifted him of f his feet wrapping his long legs around his waist and kissing him, devouring his lips and tongue. “Magic…need magic,” he growled and Merlin’ s eyes flashed gold. A moment later Arthur thrust into him, and Merlin cried out in utter bliss. “Arthur , yes, please…” he panted, closing his eyes, reaching up to grip the shelf with both hands, holding on for dear life as Arthur drove into him. “Arthur…don’ t stop…more!” “Merlin, you feel so good, so tight,” Arthur kissed him. He looked into his eyes rolling his hips harder and faster . The wild look in Merlin’ s sex-addled gaze increased his arousal tenfold. “I love you,” he breathed out thrusting up into him, their bodies trembling and drenched with sweat. “Mine, always, Merlin.” “Arthur ,” Merlin said breathlessly . “I’m close,” Arthur whispered, kissing him, and sucking on his full bottom lip. Merlin placed one hand on his own cock stroking himself furiously as Arthur pounded into him with abandon. They shouted loudly as they came, shuddering violently . Merlin let go of his spent cock gripping the shelf as Arthur continued to thrust into him again and again until they could no longer move or form coherent thoughts. “Holy…” Arthur gasped, and Merlin huf fed a laugh. “If that is my punishment I shall have to neglect you more often.” “Such insolence,” Arthur grinned kissing him. “I love you,” Merlin said kissing him back. “I think we should take this to our bed.” “Perhaps you should carry me.” “So, you can kick me again,” Arthur smirked then nipped at his bottom lip then slipped out of Merlin then set him back on his feet. “Get dressed, Mer—lin,” he grinned then pulled up his trousers and retrieved his sleep tunic. “Yes, Sire,” Merlin grinned. Once they were both dressed they put out all the candles and left the library walking back to Arthur ’s chambers. Passing the guards in the corridor Arthur nodded, dismissing them for the night. “You think that’ s a good idea?” Merlin asked. “I’m sleeping with the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth,” Arthur smiled raising an eyebrow , “I’m perfectly safe.” “True,” Merlin chuckled then followed him into the room, and they closed and locked the door. He started the fire in the hearth and lit the candles while Arthur undressed. “W ould you like me to fill the tub for you?” “Merlin, you’re not my servant anymore.” “No, I know , but I don’ t mind.” Arthur looked at him and shook his head, “Y ou really miss it don’ t you.” “Being your servant,” Merlin said then shrugged, “Y es, I guess I do.” “Tell me, Merlin, if you never became my servant…if we never had this shared destiny , what do you think your life would be like now?” Merlin sat down in the chair by the hearth and took of f his boots. He looked at Arthur , shaking his head. “My life…” he said thoughtfully , his voice catching, “I don’ t know…and I don’t want to know .” Arthur moved toward the chair crouching in front of Merlin, taking hold of his hands. “Y ou never wanted anything else for yourself? Surely you had dreams.” “Only to be loved and to be free to use my magic…to be accepted for who I am,” he smiled, “I have that now , Arthur , and there is nothing else I want.” “Just every time I think about how much you suf fered, the pain and the loss, because of me,” Arthur said bringing Merlin’ s hands to his lips. “I just want you to be happy .” “I am, Arthur , believe me,” Merlin said, leaning forward to kiss him, “For the first time in my life I am not afraid. I don’ t have to skulk around in the shadows defending the kingdom anymore. And I finally have you the way I always dreamed of but never dared hope.” “Yes, you do,” Arthur grinned then stood up, “Now , get undressed and let’ s clean up and go to bed. I am exhausted.” “Yes, My Lord,” Merlin smiled. Three weeks later Arthur and Merlin were married in a ceremony in the clearing with the citizens of Camelot, the Druids, Kilgharrah, and even Aithusa looking on. The knights stood behind Arthur , Leon holding a beaming Gavin in his arms while Mor gana walked with Merlin who was dressed in black trousers and a fine purple silk tunic embroidered with silver thread on the collar and the cuf fs. Black shiny boots and a silver circlet on his head. Arthur smiled, his blue eyes shining with tears. Mor gana met her brother ’s gaze then she turned to Merlin smiling brightly . She cupped his cheek and nodded slightly . “You look so handsome,” she said, “I love you, Merlin. I am so pleased that you and Arthur found your way back to each other .” “I love you too, Mor gana,” Merlin said his eyes brimming with tears. “Arthur , you take care of him the way he always took care of you,” Mor gana said. “I will,” Arthur smiled reaching out for Merlin’ s hand as she moved to stand next to a tearful Hunith and Gwaine who kissed her on the forehead before taking hold of her hand. “Ready?” Arthur asked. “Yes,” Merlin grinned taking his place in front of his king, “I love you.” “Always,” Arthur said. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the ancient right of handfasting…” The time of Albion, born fr om Magic’ s sacrifice. The King lives, his legacy shall be the bridge between peace and magic. Emrys and the King, one soul, one heart, one destiny realized. Out of the darkness is born the light. For giveness, r edemption…faith, and love shall r eign. The bloodline unbr oken, a new r eign will triumph. Fr om the last br eath to a new awakening magic shall thrive once again. The world in balance. Life and death ar e restor ed. Long live The King…long live Magic! Giving Up The Ghost - By A-ha Chapter Summary If you would like to hear the song behind the title of this story here is the link to it on YouTube :D https://www .youtube.com/watch?v=ntOXkl6-aEc Giving Up The Ghost by A-ha Icy road, blinding dark Rolling hills in the distance Open wound, a painful scar Love has left its burning trademark Off the grid, out of bounds Further down into shadow Darkest day and whitest night In harm's way We're chasing rainbows Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurts the most You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Frozen lake soon will flow Frozen ground soon to follow But hey - everything is in your head And what you killed is never dead Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost On what you loved the most On a coal-black sea, the sky's on fire Failed attempts at a funeral pyre Deep as dreams of dark desire The flames are growing ever higher You sever all my heads You place them on your bed Some part of your great scheme To vow me into silence Giving up the ghost Giving up the ghost That's what hurt the most Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Words: 56,035
Chapters: 9/9
I'm glad I met you
I got up at 2 am to get some snacks at the convenience store down the street and opened my door to find you trying to sleep on the floor of the hallway because your roommate has his fiancée over so i guess I’ll lend you my couch for the night AU
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Merthur - Freeform, merthur au, Fluff
Language: English
Published: 2015-08-10
Words: 4,584
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 7
Kudos: 247
Bookmarks: 24
Hits: 3,621
Categories: M/M, Multi
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Freya (Merlin), Will (Merlin), Elena (Merlin)
The gold coin
Work page not found or no link in PDF; showing extracted metadata.
Poets write poems, they try to subdue things beyond the limits of human comprehension, to push power into the ranks of signs and sounds. Well... I'm not a poet, so I have to cope differently. But when, in the face of death, time shrinks dramatically and frail strength doesn't allow you to calm the trembling of the arms around you, it's better to express too little than nothing. - A collection of loosely connected stories focusing on Arthur and Merlin, intended to deepen the canon. I'm moving all the stories in "The gold coin" series here! Their updates will appear here. Notes Hello! I've decided to order my 'The gold coin' series and put all the stories in one place. I will gradually move them here, and their updates, and news will appear here. For those who haven't dealt with my work before, I warn you that English isn't my strong point, so stupid mistakes may appear. Nevertheless, I hope you'll enjoy. Out of love "I believe that this cliché-sounding theory about the power of maternal love should not be underestimated. It may indeed be that Ygraine Pendragon's wish for her son to be protected after her death was so powerful that it took human form". Elanor Wright "The Shadow of the Great King" Out of love Ygraine took off her shoe and touched the pleasantly damp grass with her bare foot. After a moment, she dropped the other one as well and took a few deep breaths. The touch of dew on her skin and the crisp air dampened a little the anxiety that had been tormenting her, which had been growing in her day by day until it had finally begun to overwhelm her to the point where she was unable to function normally. She didn’t mention this to Uther, or even to Gaius. They wouldn't understand. They would have thought she was frightened by her pregnancy, that she needs medicine to calm her down. She didn't need any medicine. It would only stun her and take away her ability to act, and Ygraine had to do something while she still had time. She knew that the price of her child's birth would be her life; not that of some thug, a villain, a random, anonymous person, as Uther wanted to believe, but her own. She grasped this as soon as she felt she was pregnant. A mother's life for her son's life. It was then that an intrusive voice appeared in her head, a hissing whisper, slipping into her thoughts and poisoning them with its venom. Take some concoction and be done with it. Get rid of this parasite from your body, this monster created against nature that sucks the last breath out of you. She fought a fierce battle with this voice. In her mind, she mercilessly chopped it down with her sword and trampled it into the ground, because she loved her unborn son with her whole being. The strength of this feeling surprised her. She had never been able to imagine motherhood before, and mothers' declarations that they would do anything for their children sounded to her like just another empty platitude not to be repeated. She wanted to have a child, for her husband, for the kingdom, but not necessarily for her own sake. However, when he appeared under her heart, he unexpectedly warmed her from the inside out, almost melting her insides, it shone like the most precious treasure. And she was going to defend this treasure with all her might. Not for her husband, not for the kingdom, not for herself, but for him, so that he could live, love and be loved as she was now. She talked a lot, sang and played the lute, hoping that her boy... Arthur couldn’t hear that hideous voice. Especially the words about the parasite and the monster. Everyone thought she was in a good mood. Uther looked at her with a tender smile, grasped her hands, showered her with kisses and asked for more songs. She knew a lot of them. She wondered if her son would know them, if he would like them? She looked up into the still dark sky. There was some time left until dawn, maybe an hour. She would have time to return before Uther awoke and became alarmed by her absence. She had gone out into the garden after a particularly awful nightmare in which someone had thrown her newborn into a pit full of snakes, and she could do nothing about it. Unable to move the slightest muscle, she was stuck suspended in space, silent and unnoticed by anyone, like a... ghost. This nightmare was recurring and Ygraine was convinced that there was some symbolism in it, a warning addressed to her. There was also another dream that took her over with particular horror. Three tall, hooded figures, standing over a tank of black water, speaking in one voice about the sentence that had been passed on her son. As they finished speaking, they would dissipate into the mist, and a thunderous laughter, the frantic retching of some powerful being, would reach her. Perhaps it was the same being that tried to plant vile thoughts in her mind, called Arthur a parasite and a monster, wanted to get rid of him before he even came into the world. Today, sitting on a stone bench, in a garden she was never to see again in full bloom, Ygraine decided that she could no longer ignore what appeared to be an extra maternal sense that, since she would not be here to guard Arthur's every step, she must provide the best possible protection for him. She had no magical abilities, but Gaius had mentioned that there were types of magic where only the power of intention mattered, that for some spells no special talent and years of practice were needed at all. From the pocket of her cloak, she took out her sigil. She clenched it in her hand, as she always did when she wanted to concentrate. Then she stood barefoot on the dew-wet grass. She didn't know any ritual, but her heart told her that she didn't need any. She raised her hand with the sigil, to the sky, to the twinkling stars, drew air into her lungs, silenced the whispering angry voice with her imaginary sword, pushed all fears, all unnecessary thoughts out of her mind, leaving only what was her purpose. „May Arthur be safe on his journey”, she said quietly. „May someone appear by his side who will love and guard him, as I love and as I would guard. May he be surrounded by true love and people with the sincerest hearts. May all misfortunes pass him by, and may those that cannot pass him by make him stronger and better. May he be happy and may he bring happiness to the world”. Energy, coming as if from within the earth, surged through her, from her toes to the fingers of her hands clenched into a sigil that was warm and pulsed gently. Ygraine noticed with amazement that a thin trickle of blue light flowed from between her fingers. She was overwhelmed with euphoria. She repeated her words louder, more confidently, more powerfully. The sigil burned, but it didn’t scald her skin. A trickle of light transformed into a flame. Ygraine, fascinated, brought it to her face. It was so beautiful that it hurt. She didn't want it to disappear. This time she whispered her words directly to it, softly, as if in the ear of a loved one. Tears of happiness ran down her cheeks. The flame turned into a huge ball, which remained on her hand for a moment longer, before rising above the treetops and sailing slowly through the darkness, in a direction it only knew. When it had become barely a tiny dot, Ygraine sank back onto the bench. She was still clutching the sigil, not wanting to part with it. She had no idea what she had just done, but she felt with every, tiniest nerve that something great had happened. She had made it happen: Ygraine, Arthur's mother. The voice can whisper to itself, maybe even roar with laughter. She is more powerful. She applied the sigil to her rounded belly. A mother's life, for her son's life. Arthur will be blood from her blood, bone from her bone, soul from her soul. He will be special. The thought of parting with her life evoked a nauseating fear, , , but Ygraine would probably have chosen to do so even in full knowledge of the price. Or maybe she was fully aware of the price from the beginning? Perhaps she had made the decision herself in her heart? The kingdom needs an heir to the throne, and just as men sacrifice themselves on the battlefields, so too must she not shirk her duty. She put the sigil in her pocket and set off towards the castle. It must be ensured that Arthur gets it. Later today she will talk with Gaius, who, after all, as a physician, is aware that anything can happen during childbirth and will not be surprised by the request. She wasn't going to sully Uther's happiness, since these were to be their last months together. She would make the most of this time, give him as much as she could, and then... And then he would have a son. Four years later, when, thanks to Uther, things were happening in Camelot that Ygraine had never dreamt of in her worst nightmares, in a small village in a neighbouring kingdom, a midwife handed a tiny boy to a woman exhausted by childbirth. „It would be better for you if that bastard didn't start breathing”, she said, looking at her with undisguised contempt. „His name is Merlin”, the young mother replied. „And don't you dare call him anything else”. It was supposed to be proof Chapter Summary Merlin has a rather unpleasant morning and then gets a strange command. Set immediately after the end of the season 2.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Character: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Friendship, Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Queen Gwen (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Smart Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Minor Original Character(s), Magic, Platonic Relationships, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Published: 2022-12-17
Updated: 2022-12-25
Words: 26498
Chapters: 7/
Tiptoe
A spider invades Merlin's room and scares him off and all Arthur can do is mock him, until the tables are turned.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Spiders, Humor, Mice
Language: English
Published: 2015-08-16
Words: 905
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 16
Hits: 266
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Find Me In The Future
A few months after Morgause and Morgana's failed coup, Arthur is doing his best to run the kingdom; Gwen is caring for Uther, a broken man, confined to his chambers; and Merlin is still juggling three jobs as manservant, physician's apprentice, and secret guardian angel to a seemingly oblivious prince. As all three grapple with the reverberations of Morgana's betrayal and look anxiously towards the future, the future comes to them in the form of Arthur and Merlin from a decade later, accidentally plopped into their past. Together, they set out to return the pair to their proper place in time, confronting mistakes, secrets, and an unexpected peek into what the future holds. Featuring teasing, arguing, crying, roughhousing, more teasing, innuendo, and a sneaky little horse named Hengreon, join this cast of confusingly named characters for an attempt at humor that became a harrowing emotional journey featuring: Arthur, Uther, Arthur, Merlin, Merlin, Gwen, Gwaine, Gwyn?!, Morgana, and Morgause.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Time Travel, Magic Revealed, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Ygraine's Sigil (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Court Sorcerer Merlin (Merlin), Getting Together, Swearing, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Redeemed Morgana (Merlin), Minor Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, i just think they should be allowed to say Fuck, Fluff and Angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Episode: s03e12-13 The Coming of Arthur, Smart Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Awesome Gwen (Merlin), POV Multiple, Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2022-09-11
Words: 97,707
Chapters: 33/33
Comments: 331
Kudos: 1,114
Bookmarks: 371
Hits: 29,255
Categories: F/F, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine & Gwen (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Morgause (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Completed: 2022-10-30
Never let him slip away
From that moment on wards Arthur was determined to never let him slip away
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort, sick Merlin
Language: English
Published: 2015-08-20
Words: 363
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 3
Kudos: 266
Bookmarks: 7
Hits: 6,292
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Time Yet for a Hundred Indecisions
Post 1x10. Sequel to In a Minute There Is Time. Merlin reacts.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Additional Tags: Episode Tag, Episode: s01e10 The Moment of Truth, Angst, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Published: 2012-07-25
Words: 1,024
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 5
Kudos: 95
Bookmarks: 4
Hits: 1,560
Categories: Gen, M/M
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Gwen, Arthur Pendragon
Friendly Slaps
Merlin figures out why Arthur manhandles him so much. Arthur himself is a little slower on the uptake.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Manhandling, Crushes
Language: English
Published: 2016-01-03
Words: 4,044
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 205
Kudos: 18,111
Bookmarks: 2,208
Hits: 121,931
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin)
In Which Merlin and Arthur Have Strawberry Milkshakes
For the prompt: "okay so its set in the 50s or 60s and hunith owns like a milkshake bar or something and merlin takes arthur out on a date there but arthur is super worried that ppl are going to get mad @ them the whole time and they order strawberry milkshakes and nobody gets mad but hunith and gwen congratulate them and its just super cute ok (and maybe arthur drives merlin home and kisses him under the stars or something else cliched and romantic idk)" by tumblr user merlinsghosties.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: First Date, Fluff, cliched kissing under the stars
Language: English
Published: 2015-09-21
Words: 644
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 71
Bookmarks: 8
Hits: 915
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin)
Dense
Following the story of season 2, episode 4: "Lancelot and Guinevere," except Merlin finally decides to tell Arthur how he feels. Episode rewrite, Merthur oneshot.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Angst, Internal Conflict, Fluff, episode rewrite
Language: English
Published: 2012-12-05
Words: 3,312
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 133
Bookmarks: 10
Hits: 1,628
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin)
Twas just a dream
"Three weeks ago you came to me saying Merlin just randomly kissed you, you played along and you said you were going to tell him.""I am." He defended."Last week you said you were going to as well.""And I will."orMerlin dreams Arthur and him get together or at least he thinks it was a dream.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Merlins dreams about Arthur, Confusion
Language: English
Published: 2016-05-16
Words: 1,989
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 140
Bookmarks: 8
Hits: 2,580
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin)
Rain Fever
"But it's raining!""Yes people usually go inside for this kind of weather Merlin.""But we're already wet and it's past midnight and its dark.""So?""Sooo doesn't it make you feel happy? Did you never not go outside and play in the rain as a kid?"orMerlin likes to sing and dance in the rain, Arthur not so much but with a little convincing from Merlin he might just enjoy it.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Rain, Dancing in the Rain, Idiots in Love
Language: English
Published: 2016-05-18
Words: 1,158
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 114
Bookmarks: 7
Hits: 1,284
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
The Talk
Written for the KMM37 prompt: "Arthur/Merlin, first failed attempt at sex."
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Friendship, Uther's A+ Parenting, The Talk, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Canon Era, Humor, Canon Compliant, It's all Gaius' fault
Language: English
Published: 2016-06-06
Words: 1,460
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 92
Bookmarks: 9
Hits: 1,531
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)/Other(s), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
What a Mess
Arthur follows the text he got from Merlin asking him to meet at Merlin's room immediately.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fluff and Humor, Clothing, Dialogue, Phone Calls & Telephones, Surprises, Crying, Laughter, POV Arthur
Language: English
Published: 2017-07-22
Words: 1,561
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 6
Kudos: 141
Bookmarks: 11
Hits: 2,042
Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin)
Blanket Hog
Arthur woke to a cold bed and his first thought wasn’t of his absent husband, no, it was that goddamn blanket.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Blankets, Harry Potter References, Modern AU
Language: English
Published: 2018-03-13
Words: 722
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 22
Kudos: 368
Bookmarks: 30
Hits: 3,188
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
In Wine There is Truth
After a massive party, Merlin has to get a very drunken Arthur back to his room. Hilarity ensues.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Drunkenness, Fluff, Mentions of homophobia, Hangover
Language: English
Published: 2013-12-20
Words: 906
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 80
Bookmarks: 3
Hits: 1,568
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Small but Perfectly Formed
One of Merlin's spells goes a little bit wrong.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Canon Era, Ficlet, Mini Merlin, Magic, Magical Accidents
Language: English
Published: 2018-05-20
Words: 525
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 20
Kudos: 343
Bookmarks: 24
Hits: 2,887
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Thunderbolts and Lightning (Very, Very Frightening)
When the largest storm in Camelot history rolls through the city, Arthur has to try and take care of his city before it drowns. Meanwhile, he soon learns he has to take care of his servant as well.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Canon Era, Rain, Thunder and Lightning, Cuddling, Secret Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Published: 2014-05-27
Words: 1,514
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 7
Kudos: 758
Bookmarks: 50
Hits: 8,845
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Rainfall
I am going to die, Merlin thought. He did not know where Arthur was, but silently pleaded to who or whatever was listening that Arthur would not pursue him.If he’s even alive, Merlin thought. His heart dropped to his stomach. If these brutes killed Arthur, their destinies ended here, and Albion would never come to be.Please be alive, Merlin pleaded.But don’t come for me.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Hurt Merlin, Protective Arthur, Near Death Experiences, Friends to Lovers, Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Captivity, Rescue, helpless merlin, Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) Saves the Day, Love Confessions, Falling In Love, Kissing in the Rain, Rain, Fluffy Ending, One Shot
Language: English
Published: 2018-11-13
Words: 1,287
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 27
Kudos: 1,186
Bookmarks: 89
Hits: 12,877
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Melodies on the Road
Merlin had the voice of a god, and Arthur wanted to hear more of it, but he definitely wasn't going to tell Merlin that. He'd hear it some other way.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Car rides, Singing, driving in the night, porch kisses, Fluff, Merthur - Freeform, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Language: English
Published: 2014-06-04
Words: 1,540
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 141
Bookmarks: 8
Hits: 1,898
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Two Months Ago
Everything changed two months ago, but Arthur can't remember.But everyone else can. Vividly.Alternate Title: "To Live Without You Is Madness"
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Major Character Death
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Secret Relationship, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Magic Revealed, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, Five Stages of Grief, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, (implied) Hallucinations, Hallucinations, Yelling, Canon Era, Amnesia
Language: English
Published: 2019-06-21
Words: 5,965
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 19
Kudos: 472
Bookmarks: 48
Hits: 5,099
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
No Escape
Both Arthur and Merlin survive the ending battle and life goes on in Camelot. Arthur notes that Merlin seems particularly distracted and won't let him leave until he explains what's going on. Merlin can't bring himself to lie to him anymore.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: such feels, Arthur could have figured it out, even if he is a dollophead, no unhelpful dragons allowed, Panicky Merlin
Language: English
Published: 2019-01-21
Words: 2,797
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 3
Kudos: 91
Bookmarks: 11
Hits: 981
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)
You Didn't Say That
Merlin tells Arthur about his magic because it's the right thing to do.That doesn't mean Arthur knows everything.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: can be platonic or romantic you decide, Magic Revealed, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Hijinks & Shenanigans, Merlin's a fucking powerhouse okay, a little bit of angst? but it's really not bad?
Language: English
Published: 2020-05-01
Words: 2,031
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 47
Kudos: 2,788
Bookmarks: 249
Hits: 19,549
Categories: Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Competition is A Funny Thing
In a land where Camelot was only a legend, and Arthur and Merlin's destinies intertwined at a young age, our boys still find a way to fight over everything. In the most loving way possible, of course. When everything is a competition, the rules can change surprisingly as you get older, and when you stop competing just to win...well, the results just might surprise you.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, only a little angst, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Unless you count some destiny, Attempt at Humor, Romance
Language: English
Published: 2020-05-12
Words: 7,400
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 11
Kudos: 104
Bookmarks: 15
Hits: 916
Categories: F/M, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Leon (Merlin)
most beloved
At first, it hadn’t crossed his mind- not really- that Merlin may have such a distinct and specific taste in men. It had all fallen into place when one fateful afternoon, Merlin spoke about some Greek hero, some ancient, Hellenic lad by the name of Achilles.or,In which Arthur wants to look like Achilles to win Merlin's heart, but of course, he's missing the whole point.Written for Scruffy Pendragon Fest 2020.Podficby the wonderfulBlazingPeniclsavailable.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Getting Together, Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Jealous Arthur, arthur wants to look greek y'all, Attempt at Humor, Fluff and Angst, Pining Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine Being Gwaine, so soft, very soft, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Scruffy Arthur, Scruffy Arthur Pendragon, Protective Arthur, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Emotionally Constipated Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Good morgana, homer references, iliad references, achilles/patroclus parallels, Canon Era
Language: English
Published: 2020-04-30
Words: 5,111
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 114
Kudos: 2,108
Bookmarks: 327
Hits: 16,873
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Geoffrey of Monmouth (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
A Month, A Day
Merlin jumps in front of a spell to save Arthur. They're not injured, and no one can figure out what's happened.Then Arthur and Merlin figure out they're tied together. They can't move further than a few feet apart. How in the hell are they supposed to get on with their lives like this?
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, can be platonic or romantic you decide, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin), Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Sleepy Cuddles, Sir Leon the Long Suffering, Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Banter
Language: English
Published: 2020-06-15
Words: 5,354
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 104
Kudos: 6,863
Bookmarks: 838
Hits: 43,569
Categories: Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
in a burst of light
this is just a small merlin’s magic reveal that i wrote last night! ft bamf merlin who loves arthur and an arthur who has more than two brain cells
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Additional Tags: BAMF Merlin (Merlin), soft merlin, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), i wrote it on tumblr!!, its the same as my ao3 account if you want to come say hello!!, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I suck at tags, okay im done, also, Soft Arthur, oh yeah, Canon Era, this is my first fic on ao3 ahhh, id die for murther
Language: English
Published: 2020-07-15
Words: 1,712
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 16
Kudos: 369
Bookmarks: 30
Hits: 2,991
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin)
An Exercise in Scaring your Partner
Despite being Gaius' apprentice for years, Merlin has never heard of the concept of 'taking care of himself'. A cough is fine, right? Even when every time you get a cough you also get a bad fever?Seems fine to him.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Sick Merlin (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Fluff, Sickfic, Whump, Merlin is an idiot, Court Sorcerer Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Established Relationship, Canon Era, Sleepy Cuddles, Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Comfort
Language: English
Published: 2020-06-22
Words: 1,883
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 13
Kudos: 1,250
Bookmarks: 97
Hits: 14,727
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Iseldir (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin)
Tell Me You Lived
A oneshot depicting how Arthur reacts finding out how long Merlin has waited for him.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Merthur - Freeform, Reunion, Modern, Angst
Language: English
Published: 2020-08-09
Words: 756
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 4
Kudos: 189
Bookmarks: 14
Hits: 1,500
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Reversed
Everybody knows about Merlin's magic.Everyone but Merlin.A.N.:// if you have seen this prompt on tumblr by changelink, that's me :)EDIT: Now available in russian: https://ficbook.net/readfic/10942960Thank you so much again, stol27 (ficbook) / 07aker07(insta) for your hard work ^^ :D
Rating: Not Rated
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Crack, Magic, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Gwen Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Morgana Knows about Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin is a Little Shit, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin does not know about Merlin's magic, reversed AU, Humor, Angst, Fluff and Angst, it actually turns quite dramatic later on, I was possessed by a demon, don't blame me, They are forcing me to efüwg#+wek
Language: English
Published: 2020-08-04
Words: 15,907
Chapters: 7/7
Comments: 227
Kudos: 1,481
Bookmarks: 158
Hits: 23,117
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Categories: Gen, M/M
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Completed: 2020-10-02
Jealous
Arthur decides to start being nice to Merlin. Merlin is very suspicious.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Canon Era, Fluff, Getting Together, Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2020-12-10
Words: 1,948
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 147
Kudos: 8,179
Bookmarks: 848
Hits: 48,292
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Worthless, Worth Less or is it So Much More?
Merlin thought his life was worthless; Nobles thought his life was worth less; There was a King, however, who new it was worth so much more.OrMerlin means the world to Arthur. He's going to make Merlin realise that. But when has it ever been that simple between the two of them?OrWelcome to the life of Merlin and Arthur Pendragon. Pining ensues (along with kidnapping, homosexuality and a wedding)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Major Character Death
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Merlin is a Little Shit, POV Merlin (Merlin), Oblivious Arthur, Pining Arthur, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst, Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Pining Merlin (Merlin), Mutual Pining, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Sad, oh well, Slow Burn, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Redeemed Morgana (Merlin), Minor Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), no beta we die like arthur, the plans i have for this, evil smirk, well technically i'm making it up as i go, crazy and whacky ideas from my 3am thoughts, i apologise preemptively
Language: English
Published: 2020-12-18
Words: 3,217
Chapters: 2/?
Comments: 8
Kudos: 405
Bookmarks: 31
Hits: 5,001
Categories: M/M, F/F
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin)
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin)
Updated: 2022-06-10
The World that Could Have Been
Merlin manages to reach Camlann before the battle has begun. Deciding the only way to save Arthur's life and defy destiny is to keep Arthur out of battle, Merlin choses to take on the Saxons alone, trusting that his magic would be strong enough to defeat an entire army.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, First Kiss, Canonical Character Death, it's Morgana, Arthur Pendragon Lives (Merlin), Canon Divergence - Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, Episode: s05e12-13 The Diamond of the Day, Merlin Saves Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Everybody Lives, except the saxons, and morgana - Freeform, Happy Ending
Language: English
Published: 2020-12-31
Words: 2,637
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 9
Kudos: 1,041
Bookmarks: 101
Hits: 8,414
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
A Reveal of Epic Proportions
Merlin doesn't use a disguise at the battle of camlann and reveals himself in a blaze of glory
Rating: Explicit
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Battle of Camlann (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Heavy Angst, POV Merlin (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Queen Gwen (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Lives (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2021-02-06
Words: 16,075
Chapters: 9/9
Comments: 29
Kudos: 448
Bookmarks: 44
Hits: 10,627
Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-02-12
The magic realm
To save Camelot and their destiny, Arthur and Merlin travel to the magical realm to learn how to use magic.But, they have to be careful. Weapon - and magicless - they have to not only learn magic. They have to find their way back home as well.And what awaits.... is Camlann.
Rating: Not Rated
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Protective Merlin, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Merlin (Merlin), Magic Revealed, Magic Loss, Magical Dimension, Magic Realm, Merlin (TV) Season/Series 05, Episode: s05e12 The Diamond of the Day, Rewrite, Pre-Battle of Camlann (Merlin), Learning Magic, Hurt/Comfort, Arthur Pendragon Has Magic (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2021-01-24
Words: 36,198
Chapters: 10/10
Comments: 125
Kudos: 208
Bookmarks: 32
Hits: 4,266
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) & magical creatures, Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Gaius & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Original Characters, Original Non-Human Character(s), Elyan (Merlin), Freya (Merlin), Will (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-02-23
The coaches son
"I know I saved your butt the other week but you don't have to stalk me now." Arthur joked."I'm waiting for someone.""Girlfriend? Boyfriend?" Arthur asked."I'm waiting for my father.""Your father?""Merlin Emrys," A manly voice boomed behind Arthur. Arthur recognised that voice. "I told you you don't have to wait for me when I have practice." Wait did he say Merlin Emrys?"Your father is Coach Emrys?" Arthur whispered."Yeah, I told you, you wouldn't want to date me."Arthur wants to date Merlin and spends his time trying to convince him it's a good idea. The only problem is that Merlin is the coaches son and he hates Pendragons. Unfortunately for Arthur, his father also hates Emrys'. What made the two truly hate each other? Guess they would have to find out and fix it so the two could date.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Pendragon and Emrys rivalry, story starts as fluff, turns into a mystery, Merlin is the coaches son, Arthur is the cocky jock, Fluff and Humor, Angst, Family Feels, Family Feud - Freeform, Balinor is salty, Uther is salty, the boys just want to date, Backstory, Idiots in Love, Someone is the bad guy, Cenred is a creep, Protective Arthur, Telling this story in two parts might add more taggs later
Language: English
Published: 2021-04-03
Words: 20,623
Chapters: 2/2
Comments: 15
Kudos: 186
Bookmarks: 31
Hits: 4,502
Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Leon/Morgana (Merlin), Mordred/Will (Merlin), Balinor/Hunith (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Agravaine (Merlin), Geoffrey of Monmouth (Merlin), Will (Merlin), Mordred (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-07-04
scorch marks and embers
Everyone he trusted with his secret – Will, Freya, Balinor, Lancelot, and now Gaius – was gone. Arthur would never bring magic back to the land, and he would never let Merlin stand at his side the way Merlin had hoped he would. It was a cold awakening, years of baseless faith dashed against the fraying tapestry that destiny had made Merlin sew into his own skin, but an awakening nonetheless.Merlin is shaken out of his obsession with destiny and his blind faith in Arthur. Arthur just wishes he knew how to get his closest friend back.(For Merthur Angst Week 2021 Day 7: “No. You don’t get to talk.”)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mystery, Drama, Tension, Violence, Action/Adventure, Character Death, Gaius Dies (Merlin), Canon Era, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Merlin (TV) Season/Series 04, Episode: s04e07 The Secret Sharer, Magic Repressed, Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Character Study, Angry Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Physician Merlin (Merlin), Smart Arthur (Merlin), Guilty Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Jaded Merlin (Merlin), Reconciliation, Minor Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Slow Burn, Grief/Mourning, Friendship, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Yearning, Introspection, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts
Language: English
Published: 2021-03-21
Words: 93,814
Chapters: 6/6
Comments: 694
Kudos: 3,416
Bookmarks: 1,078
Hits: 63,649
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Agravaine (Merlin), Daegal (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)
Completed: 2021-10-01
Ere Break of Day
Merlin wakes after some nightmares and goes to make sure that his king is alright. Things get kind of emotional and heavy from there.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Feels, Angst, Tears, Love Confessions, Magic Revealed, First Kiss, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, slightly OOC
Language: English
Published: 2015-03-13
Words: 1,894
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 8
Kudos: 608
Bookmarks: 57
Hits: 7,852
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Just This Once
"Well then," Arthur whispered, "Just this once..."***Merlin and Arthur have always been close, but have never passed the boundaries of friendship. But perhaps, they could make an exception- just this once.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin - Fandom
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Additional Tags: Merthur - Freeform, arlin, Canon Era
Language: English
Published: 2015-03-23
Words: 843
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 6
Kudos: 131
Bookmarks: 6
Hits: 1,852
Characters: Merlin, Arthur Pendragon
Protection
Arthur knows about Merlin's magic, and finds it hard to protect someone who doesn't even try to protect themself.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Pre-Slash, Arthur Knows, coda 1.03
Language: English
Published: 2015-04-22
Words: 1,139
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 13
Kudos: 755
Bookmarks: 54
Hits: 8,693
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
all our dead, unfinished selves
The woods are quiet. Merlin stares up at the leafless branches and thinks about the taste of blood in his mouth, wet and thick but always better than ash. He breathes in slowly. Breathes out. When he sits up, Arthur turns on him with his dagger drawn, blue eyes wild, and Merlin barely flinches.“You killed me once, Arthur,” he says, soft. “Can you do it again?”Inspired bythistumblr post.
Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Angst with a Happy Ending, Accidental Death, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), BAMF Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Published: 2022-05-05
Words: 1,187
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 121
Kudos: 3,318
Bookmarks: 396
Hits: 22,464
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon (Merlin)
The Drawbacks of Dragon Lord-ing
Kilgarrah has been cryptic at best and infuriating at worst. Merlin's not sure what he expected, but surely the great lizard could've given him a heads up that he'd start growing SCALES.That's not the least of it, and he can't exactly ask for a work leave to get his brand new claws in order. What's he gonna tell Arthur? And is it going to be even a little bit believable?
Rating: Not Rated
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Merlin's Neckerchief (Merlin), Parent Gaius (Merlin), Protective Gaius (Merlin), Gaius is So Done (Merlin), Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Balinor (Mentioned) - Freeform, Awesome Gwen (Merlin), Gwen is a Good Friend, Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), Transformation, Dragon Merlin (Merlin), well partially, Secrets, Secret Identity, Scars, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Good Morgana (Merlin), Merlin & Morgana Friendship (Merlin), Morgana Knows about Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Redeemed Morgana (Merlin), Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Denial, Misunderstandings, Crushes, Oblivious Arthur, Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Friendship, Digital Art, Gay Percival, Sexuality, Asexual Merlin (Merlin), kind of? basically he just only loves Arthur, Awesome Gwaine (Merlin), A(rthur)sexual merlin, demisexual merlin, Pining Gwaine (Merlin), Gwaine being a fantastic fucking friend, Intelligent Gwaine, Jealousy, Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Mating Cycles/In Heat, weirdly non-sexual heat, Dragon Puberty, Gwaine’s boners, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Crush, Awkwardness, Awkward Conversations, Porn tropes in a SFW fic, yeah I don’t know either
Language: English
Published: 2021-08-06
Words: 33,050
Chapters: 15/?
Comments: 478
Kudos: 1,679
Bookmarks: 379
Hits: 27,022
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Percival (Merlin)
Characters: Knights of the Round Table (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Kilgarrah, Balinor (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin)
Updated: 2023-01-17
5 Pick Up Lines Gwaine Tried on Merlin and 1 Merlin Tried On Arthur
What it says on the tin!
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Canon Universe, Humor, Fluff, Getting Together, Pick-Up Lines, Oblivious Merlin, Jealous Arthur, Gwaine Being Gwaine, Protective Gwaine, Protective Arthur, Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic, 5+1 Things, the fine art of flirting: Merlin doesn't grok it
Language: English
Published: 2023-04-30
Words: 2,374
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 49
Kudos: 1,268
Bookmarks: 132
Hits: 7,446
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur, Merlin & Gwaine, Arthur & Gwaine, Gwaine/Percival
Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin)
Arthur's Worst Experience
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Arthur receives some bad news about Merlin. Author: Emrys MK Title : Arthur's Worst Experience Rating : G Characters/pairings : Merlin and Arthur Summary :Arthur receives some bad news about Merlin. Words : 1000 Warnings: None Prompt 178: Experience - written for camelot_drabble A/N : Part two of my "Merlin and Arthur Live Again" series. "Can I go over to Merlin's, Mum?" Arthur asked as he sat down at the kitchen table and grabbed a biscuit from the tin. "Not today, Arthur," was her reply, sadness infusing her voice as she closed the notebook she'd been writing in. "Merlin isn't feeling well; his mother called earlier and said he wasn't up to company today." Wasn't up to company? Since when was Arthur company? He had always been welcome in Merlin's home, even when Merlin had been feeling unwell. He opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but before he could do so, his mother stood, pushed her chair under the table, and looked at Arthur, that same sadness he had heard now evident. Something was wrong. Arthur was getting scared. What was going on? Everyone had been acting strangely ever since the day after Merlin's birthday, and Arthur didn't understand. "What aren't you telling me, Mum? Is there something wrong with Merlin?" Arthur felt ill. Merlin had to be alright. "Arthur, love, I've something to tell you, but I have no idea how to do so." Arthur swallowed. It had to do with Merlin. He knew that much. "Merlin's not dangerously ill like he was two years ago, is he?" Two years earlier, Merlin had come down with a bad case of the flu and the doctors hadn't been sure he would recover. Arthur's parents had prepared him for the possibility that Merlin might not survive. But he had. Did he have the flu again? "Please tell me he's okay. I can't lose him, Mum," Arthur said, knowing his attachment to his best friend was perhaps somewhat unhealthy, at least his father thought so, but he couldn't help it. Merlin and he had been the best of friends since they were old enough to speak, and Arthur's world revolved around the boy with the large ears who told the most amazing stories. At any time, whenever Arthur was stressed because of his father's unrealistic expectations of his son, all Arthur need do was see Merlin and all was right with the world. If he lost that…. "Merlin and his family are moving, love." ~*~ Arthur stood on the front porch and waited patiently, hoping that Mrs. Emrys would allow him inside to see Merlin. If she said no, Arthur didn't know what he would do. He needed Merlin. Merlin couldn't leave. A new set of tears found their way down his face as he watched the door open and Merlin's mother invite him inside. Arthur nodded and began to walk towards Merlin's room, but stopped when he was pulled into a hug by Merlin's mother. "I'm so sorry, Arthur. I wish it didn't have to be this way, love," she said, her voice shaking. "Now run along. Merlin's waiting for you," she said, clearing her throat. Arthur neared his best friend's bedroom and frowned when he noticed the door was closed. Merlin never shut his door. Never. Arthur knocked and not even a second passed before the door flew open and Merlin threw himself at his best friend and hugged him for dear life. Arthur hugged him back. They couldn't take Merlin away from him. They just couldn't. "I don't want to go, Arthur," Merlin said through his sobs as he dug his hands into the back of Arthur's shirt and held on as if someone were trying to pull the two of them apart. "Why are you moving? I don't want you to move, Merlin." Arthur couldn't imagine a life without Merlin in it. Merlin made him smile. Who would make him smile if Merlin left? Merlin pulled away and went to sit on his bed, but he pulled Arthur with him and smiled when Arthur joined him and wiped away the new batch of tears that were falling down Merlin's face. "I have a secret, Arthur. If anyone finds out, my family will be in trouble. My daddy says we have to leave for our safety." "Can you tell me what your secret is?" Arthur asked, scared, but wanting to know. Merlin was his best friend. He would never tell anyone the secret. "You won't like me anymore if I tell you," Merlin said, taking a breath and composing himself. "How can you say that, Merlin? I love you. And you told me you love me. How could I ever not like you? There is nothing that you could tell me that would make me not like you. Please tell me." "Er, I have magic. I always knew I was different, but it wasn't until I had that dream the other night that I discovered the truth." Arthur couldn't help but giggle. Magic? Merlin had magic? Their games where Merlin had magic had always seemed so real. That was because his best friend could really do those things they had imagined? Arthur was amazed and perhaps just a little envious. "Merlin, you're such a clotpole! I thought you were going to tell me you were dying or something horrible like that." "But your father is so against magic. He doesn't like it when we pretended I could do magic," Merlin said. "I'm not my father, Merlin. And just so you know, I think you being able to do magic is the best thing ever. That means one day you can magic us back together," and the grin that Arthur had was only marred by the lingering tears that continued to fall from earlier. Merlin smiled and let out a shaky breath. "Here I was thinking I was about to experience losing my best friend." "Never. I still don't want you to go," and Arthur felt the tears as they returned. "Me either, but I'll come find you when I'm old enough," Merlin said, "and when I find you no one will be able to ever take us away from one another again. Like you said, my magic will find you. There is nothing that will keep us apart, I promise. We'll be together forever." "Together forever," Arthur repeated. Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Character: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Reincarnation, Kid Fic Series: Part 2 of Merlin and Arthur Live Again Collections: Camelot Drabble -- Prompt #178: Experience
Published: 2015-09-23
Words: 1050
To You, The Other Half Of My Soul
"To Merlin, he was more. To Merlin, he was his heart's beloved, the other half of his soul. To Merlin, he was the sun and the moon and the stars, and all that was good and kind in this world. He knew, in his heart of hearts, though he searched every day, that his beloved had not reincarnated yet. He knew, for he would know Arthur anywhere. He would know him by the way his feet struck the Earth, and his shadow darkened the ground. He would know him by the way his skin folded when he smiled and the way his aura seemed to light up the world around him. He would know him blind. He would know him were he blind and mute and deaf, and Arthur dumb. He would know him"Merlin has lived without his beloved Arthur for hundreds of years. He has grown tired, and old, and sorrowful, and he mourns... for Camelot, for Gaius, for his mother, for everyone he has lost, but he mourns for Arthur the most.He sits in a forest and laments the passing of his beloved. However, what he appears to have forgotten is that Arthur is not the Once King, but the Once and Future King....(Slightly inspired by The Song of Achilles)
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Additional Tags: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Merlin Gets a Hug (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Returns (Merlin), POV Merlin (Merlin), References to Depression, Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Soft Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Once and Future King, Love Confessions, Requited Love, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Good King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Loyal Merlin (Merlin), Immortal Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2023-07-12
Words: 1,590
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 3
Kudos: 87
Bookmarks: 7
Hits: 969
Fandoms: Merlin (TV), Arthurian Mythology & Related Fandoms
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Elyan (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin)
Modern Legend
In the year 2082, thirty Sorcerers who called themselves “The Pure” took over England in a violent coup, established a magical supremacy, and ruled until Uther Pendragon and his underground forces defeated them. Uther became dictator, taking charge of the country in its State of Emergency. All sorcerers tied to The Pure were publicly executed. Sorcery was declared illegal. Uther's peacekeeping Patronus force crushes rebellions. All who are suspected of practicing magic disappear or are executed. England grows increasingly restless under Uther Pendragon. Laws on sorcery have begun to change in other countries, and civil unrest stirs again in England herself.In this changing political landscape, Uther Pendragon’s son Arthur finds himself at University, caught between his father’s expectations and his own growing unease about his father’s policies and persecution of magic. His friend and classmate from childhood, Merlin Astur, has kept his secret as long as he's been alive. In the face of a changing world, threats to his closest friends, and an ancient Druid legend, he struggles to keep his magic hidden while protecting those dear to him.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Merlin is a Little Shit, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Merlin's Neckerchief (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Worried Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Awesome Gwen (Merlin), Protective Gwen (Merlin), POV Merlin (Merlin), POV Morgana (Merlin), Merlin & Morgana Friendship (Merlin), Morgana's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Eventual Magic Reveal, Freya Lives (Merlin), Minor Freya/Merlin (Merlin), Awesome Freya (Merlin), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), lots of action, Fix-It of Sorts, Modern Era, Modern AU, Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur is an idiot sometimes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Magic Revealed, Magic-Users, Magical Artifacts, Dragons, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin), Merlin Can't Catch a Break, Friendship, Merlin is Emrys (Merlin), Aithusa - Freeform, Sassy Merlin (Merlin), Merlin - Freeform, Arthur - Freeform, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2021-08-11
Words: 168,188
Chapters: 28/28
Comments: 254
Kudos: 167
Bookmarks: 64
Hits: 7,239
Categories: F/M, Gen, Other
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Guinevere/Arthur Pendragon, Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Freya/Merlin (Merlin)
Characters: Freya (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Nimueh (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Alvarr (Merlin), Morgause (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin), Mithian (Merlin), Cenred (Merlin), Agravaine (Merlin)
Completed: 2022-03-16
How Fickle My Heart
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When Merlin moves back to London, he’ s delighted to be living just a few floors down from his childhood best friend, Gwen, and her boyfriend, Arthur . Merlin intends to befriend Arthur , but instead finds himself falling for him. Worse, the feeling might be mutual. Notes Fill for Merlin Bingo 2023 - Square G1 - Modern Era “Arthur!” Arthur jumped, the book in his lap tipping toward the floor . He flailed to catch it, and in the process, nearly rolled of f the couch. In the living room doorway stood his girlfriend, Gwen, grinning madly and waving her phone in the air . “Good phone call then, was it?” Arthur asked. Setting his book aside, he pulled his legs up to make room on the couch. Gwen nodded vigorously and practically skipped across the room to plop down next to him. “That was Merlin! You remember , don’ t you? My best friend from Ealdor?” “Of course, I remember , Gwen,” Arthur reassured. “You talk about him all the time.” Gwen’ s smile turned wistful. “He and I used to be inseparable before uni. Or college, I guess he would call it.” America. That was where Merlin had gone, Arthur remembered. While Gwen had stayed local for uni, Merlin had chosen to go to America, and he’d been there ever since. “Everything all right with him?” “Brilliant, actually ,” she said, face lighting up. “He called to tell me he’ s moving back in a few weeks. To London. He’s even got a job at Albion Labs, so he’ll be really close by .” Arthur shifted closer so he could wrap an arm around Gwen’ s shoulders. He dropped a kiss on top of her hair and said, “That’ s lovely .” “Yeah, it is. God, it’ s been years since I last saw him. You’ll love him, Arthur .” Arthur nodded along supportively . “I’m sure I will, Gwen.” If only either of them knew just how right Gwen would be. -- “Are you ready?” Gwen called. She stood in the entryway , tapping her foot impatiently while waiting for Arthur to emer ge. Bleary-eyed, Arthur stumbled into the living room. He’d rushed through getting dressed, pulling on whatever he could get his hands on the quickest. Gwen had been waiting for him for twenty minutes and counting. “Yeah, yeah, I’m ready ,” he grumbled. Stifling a yawn, he staggered toward the door , plucking his jacket of f the back of a chair as he went. He counted it a success to have avoided falling on his face, but he was so tired it took him three tries to get his arm in the correct sleeve. Gwen spared all of five seconds fussing over him before herding him out of the flat and into their car , chattering excitedly about seeing Merlin again. Arthur slid into the passenger side seat. Pouting, he muttered, “Who books a flight that gets in this early on a Saturday?” With an exasperated look, Gwen slid the key into the ignition. “It’s the cheapest flight he could get and still be here in time for starting his new job on Monday . Besides, it was Friday night in America when he boarded, it was smart to fly overnight.” “I know , I know ,” Arthur sighed, tipping his head back and shutting his eyes. “I just didn’ t get much sleep last night, was working pretty late.” Gwen made a sympathetic noise. “When did you get to bed? I didn’ t even wake up.” Soothing fingers carded through Arthur ’s hair . He hummed contentedly , mumbling, “Not until two in the morning.” “Take a nap while I drive to the airport,” Gwen said. She pressed a kiss to Arthur ’s cheek and teased, “Y ou’re driving home, I promise I can handle not crashing the car .” “I may take you up on that,” Arthur said drowsily . He didn’ t actually plan to fall asleep, but with the car ’s gentle rumbling and Gwen’ s humming in the background, Arthur drifted of f. The next thing he knew , Gwen was shaking his shoulder and calling his name. “Wake up, Arthur . We’re at Heathrow , we have to go meet Merlin in Arrivals.” Half in a daze, Arthur clambered out of the car . The fresh air helped clear his head, but Arthur had to slap his own cheek to shake the sleep of f. He trailed after Gwen, grateful when she tucked an arm through his to steer them in the right direction. Inside the airport, Arthur scanned the crowd, not entirely sure what he was looking for . He’d never met Merlin, only seen pictures. But even the most recent pictures were a decade old, taken when Merlin and Gwen were in sixth form. From what Arthur remembered, Merlin was scrawny and pale, all awkward gangly limbs too long for the rest of his body . Gwen was bouncing on her toes beside him, craning her neck to see past the throng of people. With an excited cry , she darted into the crowd. Damn, Gwen was fast. She slipped through the crowd easily , while Arthur struggled to follow , unsuccessfully trying to avoid colliding with anyone. By the time Arthur caught up, Gwen was already embracing a tall, dark-haired man - Merlin, he presumed. Not wanting to intrude, Arthur hung back, hands shoved in his pockets. When Gwen pulled away , she tugged Merlin around to face Arthur , and Arthur felt as if the breath had been knocked out of him. The Merlin that stood before him was a far cry from the awkward boy in those old photos. Merlin was gor geous, and he carried himself with a quiet confidence. Still tall and pale, his long limbs were now more graceful than awkward. Gone was the scrawny teenager , and in his place was a lean, attractive man with a disarming smile, directed straight at Arthur . “Arthur! This is Merlin,” Arthur dimly registered Gwen saying. Merlin extended his hand. His voice was deep and warm when he said, “Hello, Arthur . It’s nice to meet the man who stole Gwen’ s heart.” Arthur ’s heart stuttered in his chest – at Merlin’ s smile or at the reminder he was dating Gwen, he wasn’ t sure. He stared uncomprehendingly at Merlin for a few moments, then shifted his gaze to Merlin’ s outstretched hand. Merlin wavered, and Arthur chanced a look at Merlin’ s face where his grin was quickly fading into an uncertain frown. A flush crept up Arthur ’s neck, and he cleared his throat. “Hello, Merlin,” he said gruf fly, gripping the prof fered hand in a firm shake. He could feel Gwen’ s eyes on him, but deliberately did not turn to meet her gaze. “Thank you both for coming to pick me up.” Merlin smiled gratefully at Gwen and Arthur in turn. “It’s been so long since I’ve been back, and I never spent much time in London to begin with. I really appreciate you taking time out of your weekend for me.” “Nonsense,” Gwen said, tucking a hand at Merlin’ s elbow and ushering him toward the exit. “You’ve been my best friend since primary school, don’ t be a stranger . You’ve got me to take care of you, and now Arthur as well.” The three of them wound their way out of Heathrow , Merlin dragging one suitcase, and Arthur dragging a second while Merlin’ s other arm was occupied by Gwen. Merlin had tried to protest, but Gwen waved him of f, pressing the handle of the second suitcase into Arthur ’s hand. With an apologetic smile tossed over his shoulder , Merlin was led away . Arthur trailed along behind them, listening to Gwen and Merlin quietly laugh and reminisce about their childhood in Ealdor . At the car , Arthur fumbled for the keys to unlock the trunk. Merlin refused to let Arthur help him, insisting on lifting his suitcases himself to slot them neatly into the car . Muscles rippled lightly in Merlin’ s toned arms, and Arthur ’s mouth went dry at the sight. Mentally kicking himself, Arthur tore his eyes away . What was he doing? He and Gwen had been together for six years now . They met through his sister , Mor gana, who had gone to uni with Gwen. She’d introduced them once they all moved to London, and the rest had been history . Sure, Arthur had dated his share of blokes back in uni, but those days were long gone. Gwen, Arthur told himself firmly as he slid into the drivers’ seat. Gwen, he repeated in his head, casting a glance at his beautiful girlfriend beside him. He kept quiet most of the car ride, only chiming in with the appropriate noises to show he was listening. He only caught snippets of the conversation - it was hard enough keeping his focus on the road and not on Merlin’ s bright smile and impossibly blue eyes. “How is Elyan?” Merlin asked. In the rearview mirror , Arthur watched Merlin lean forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He tilted his head, absentmindedly rubbing at the thin layer of stubble on the underside of his chin. Arthur ’s eyes were helplessly drawn to the long line of Merlin’ s neck as his shirt collar fell away from his chest, giving Arthur a tantalizing peek down. It took more willpower than Arthur was willing to admit to tear his eyes away . Tipping her head back to look at Merlin, Gwen smiled fondly . “Elyan is good. He’s in London too. You might not even recognize him, he was still going through puberty when we left for uni. He’s a proper grown man now!” “You’re telling me,” Merlin said. Chuckling, he shook his head in mock horror . “I’ve seen the pictures on Facebook, makes me feel old to remember that’ s the little kid who used to run around after us on the playground.” Gwen’ s smile turned teasing, and a mischievous twinkle entered her eye. “You’re one to talk. Between the three of us, you’re the one who’ s changed the most! What happened to the awkward git who used to trip over his own feet in the school hallways?” Flushing, Merlin ducked his head and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Still as clumsy as ever , I’m afraid. But eleven years is more than enough time to grow into your own body ." Gwen twisted around and flailed at Merlin, but the seat belt locked her in place, her hand falling just short of Merlin’ s shoulder . “Don’ t play coy , I’m not blind,” Gwen mock scolded. “You’re gor geous, Merlin! You must have men and women falling all over themselves for you. I’m telling you, if you weren’ t like a brother to me…” Merlin’ s eyes darted down and away , embarrassed. Interesting. “You shouldn’ t joke, you might make Arthur jealous,” Merlin said lightly . “I’m not jealous,” Arthur said automatically . Merlin gave a tiny cough, then shot Arthur a sheepish smile. “Of course not.” “But not because Gwen’ s wrong,” Arthur blurted out, suddenly not wanting Merlin to get the wrong idea. “Because she’ s right – about you being gor geous, I mean.” Merlin’ s expression was stunned, and Gwen’ s triumphant. Arthur lapsed back into silence, cheeks burning. “Even Arthur agrees! And trust me, he has high standards,” Gwen said with a wink. “R-Right,” Merlin stammered, an unreadable look in his eyes when he met Arthur ’s gaze in the rearview mirror . Arthur cursed internally . What was wrong with him today? He was usually a very composed person, not one to get tongue-tied over a pretty face. “So, the flat,” Merlin said, clearing his throat, eyes sliding away from Arthur ’s. “Thank you for helping me find one, I had no idea where to even start. How did you manage to find one in my price range just a few floors below yours?” It was Gwen’ s turn to blush and look away . “Well, it wasn’ t hard actually ,” she admitted, toying shyly with a curl of hair . “Arthur owns the building. And that flat had been sitting vacant for about a month now .” Merlin’ s mouth dropped open. “Arthur owns the building?” “He does. One of many actually . His family is quite a big name in real estate.” “Guinevere Thomas, you gold digger!” Merlin chortled, a wicked grin on his lips. Gwen flushed bright red and strained against her seat belt to smack Merlin on the arm. “Don’ t joke, you know I would never!” “I know , I know ,” Merlin reassured. He was still snickering, but he held up his hands in a gesture of peace. “Life’ s funny sometimes, isn’ t it? We never had much growing up – Ealdor wasn’ t that kind of place anyways – but here you are, joined at the hip with Mr . Rich Bloke.” Melancholy filled Gwen’ s expression. Her eyes were fixed on her seat belt as she untangled herself and settled back properly into her seat. “Life is funny ,” Gwen said softly . “I miss those days sometimes.” Laughter petering out, Merlin’ s face twisted in sympathy . He laid a hand on Gwen’ s arm and said, “I’m an idiot, I shouldn’ t have said that. How long’ s it been since you’ve been back to Ealdor?” Gwen shook her head and covered Merlin’ s hand with her own. “Years,” she sighed. “Not since before my dad passed. Wasn’t much point in going back afterward.” “It hasn’ t changed much,” Merlin murmured. “It’s home, but I wouldn’ t go back either if it weren’ t for my mum and Uncle Gaius. I’m so sorry about your dad, Gwen. I’m sorry I wasn’ t here.” “No, Merlin, don’ t apologize. I had Elyan and Arthur , and time heals all wounds. Still sneaks up on me once in a while though. It’s probably seeing you for the first time in all these years. Dredges up all those childhood memories, you know?” “I know the feeling,” Merlin agreed. His eyes crinkled into a smile, full of warmth and affection. “It’s a good thing I’m sticking around so we’ll make some new memories then.” “I’ve missed you, Merlin. I’m glad to have you back.” “I’ve missed you too, Gwen.” -- When they arrived home, after Arthur helped Merlin carry the suitcases upstairs, no amount of insistence from Gwen would get Merlin to budge on letting them help him settle in. He waved them of f, telling them he wouldn’ t be taking up any more of their weekend, and practically shoved them out the door . But not before Gwen managed to extract from Merlin a promise that he would swing by the following Saturday to meet their friends. Gwen popped in on Merlin a few times throughout the week, bringing him all manner of food, from pasta to cookies, to ensure he was doing all right. But Arthur didn’ t see Merlin again until he opened his front door to him on Saturday . “Hi,” Merlin said with a small wave. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders hunched, and he peered up at Arthur through his lashes nervously . Arthur swallowed hard. Something about the way Merlin looked at him stole all the breath from his lungs. “Hi, Merlin. Come in,” he said hoarsely . Merlin stepped inside, toed of f his shoes, and promptly jumped at the five pairs of eyes that swiveled to him. “He-Hello,” Merlin stammered. “Am I late?” Gwen had been perched on a couch armrest, but when she saw Merlin, she sprang to her feet and bounded over , linking their arms and presenting him with a flourish. “Not late at all, you’re our guest of honor ,” Gwen declared, beaming. “Everyone, this is Merlin.” There was a chorus of variations of “Hi, Merlin,” accompanied by a wolf whistle that had Arthur rolling his eyes. “Merlin, these are mine and Arthur ’s friends,” Gwen said. She pointed at each person as she introduced them. “This is Leon, Gwaine, and Mor gana. And you know Elyan, of course.” A broad smile on his face, Elyan strode over , and Merlin pulled him into a hug. “It’s good to see you, Elyan. Not to sound like your grandmother , but god, you’ve grown up so much,” Merlin said, shaking his head in wonder as he looked Elyan up and down. Elyan laughed and clapped Merlin on the back. “It’s good to see you too, Merlin. Welcome back.” “Thanks, mate. Guess I’ve got to stop thinking of you as Gwen’ s little brother!” Wrinkling his nose, Elyan darted a glance at Gwen, who looked back with a raised eyebrow . “Pretty sure I’ll always be that, especially to you. But I’ve learned that’ s not so bad over the years.” “That’ s because you have a fantastic sister ,” Gwen snif fed. She tried to look stern, but in no time at all, the corners of her lips quirked up into a smile. “Couldn’ t ask for a better one. Right, Elyan?” Merlin slung an arm over Gwen’ s shoulders and shared a smirk with Elyan that quickly transformed into a frown. “But what did you mean by ‘guest of honor ’?” Gwen tried to duck away , but Merlin held fast, an accusing glare pinned on Gwen. “This might have been meant to be a ‘welcome home’ party ,” she admitted. “Gwen! Your friends don’ t even know me!” “They do now!” A laugh bubbled out of Merlin. “Only you, Gwen,” he said, bumping the side of her head with his own. “Only you would throw a welcome home party and invite people who have never met the guest of honor . That’ s why I love you.” Quiet chuckles rippled through the room, and Gwen smiled sheepishly . She tugged Merlin toward the rest of her friends and leaned in close to whisper , “They’ll love you Merlin, I promise.” -- Merlin didn’ t know why he doubted Gwen. She was right, of course, he got along swimmingly with her friends once the initial shock wore of f. He hit it of f with Gwaine right away . Gwaine was Arthur ’s friend from uni - warm and flirtatious, with no filter . In their first conversation, Merlin had to gently turn down Gwaine’ s advances. To his relief, Gwaine shrugged it of f, then slung an arm around Merlin’ s shoulders and declared they would be fast friends. Morgana - Arthur ’s sister - had been slightly intimidating. The nervousness faded as soon as she’d smirked and tossed out a biting but af fectionate barb at Arthur . It startled a laugh out of Merlin, and he knew right away he would love her . Sharp witted and shrewd, she was a woman after his own heart. Leon, Arthur ’s childhood friend and Mor gana’ s boyfriend, was a breath of fresh air in comparison. While Gwaine and Mor gana tended to fill the entire room with their presence, Leon was quiet and level-headed. Conversation flowed easily between them, and Merlin enjoyed Leon’ s thoughtful questions and responses. The night consisted of a flurry of activity during which Merlin was peppered with questions about his life in America, his childhood with Gwen, and what he was doing back in London. It was a bit of a whirlwind, but a pleasant one, and Merlin found that he didn’ t mind being thrown in the middle of this curious group. Arthur , on the other hand, remained standof fish through it all. Merlin tried to shrug it of f, telling himself it would improve with time. Still, he was left slightly disappointed to have made so little headway with his best friend’ s boyfriend. -- “Gwen?” Merlin called, poking his head into the penthouse. “Merlin?” Gwen’ s voice floated over to him. “Is that you?” Merlin stepped inside but dawdled in the entryway . “It’s me.” “Everything all right?” Gwen appeared, crossing the living room to take a seat on the couch. “Yes, yes, completely fine,” Merlin hastily reassured. “I was wondering if I could ask a favor?” Gwen gestured at him insistently until Merlin closed the distance. “Of course, Merlin,” Gwen said, peering up at him curiously . “Why are you so jumpy?” “Not jumpy , I just feel bad asking,” Merlin sighed. He didn’ t sit, just leaned against the back of the couch and plucked at a loose thread. “A good friend from America got a job at Albion Labs. He doesn’ t know anyone else here, and I invited him to stay with me until he finds a place. He’s flying in this week, and he lands Saturday afternoon. I haven’ t got the whole car thing sorted, and I hate to ask, but would you mind driving me to the airport?” A smile twitched at Gwen’ s lips. “Oh, Merlin. What did I say about not being a stranger? I don’t mind at all.” Merlin let out the breath he was holding in relief. “You’re the best, Gwen.” “I know ,” Gwen said, flashing a cheeky smile. “So who’ s the friend?” Merlin plopped down on the couch and leaned back against the armrest, facing Gwen. “His name’ s Lance, I’m sure I’ve mentioned him. We met in freshman year of college, and we’ve studied in the same city ever since. He and I have shared a flat for years now .” Snapping her fingers in recognition, Gwen said, “Oh, yes, I remember . I look forward to meeting him. When does his flight land?” “Three in the afternoon on Saturday .” -- When Saturday morning came, Merlin’ s phone vibrated with an incoming call from Gwen. “Merlin!” Gwen sounded breathless on the other end of the line. Alert, Merlin hopped up and started for the door . “Everything all right?” “Yes, yes,” Gwen said distractedly . “I’m sorry , Merlin, I got called into work today unexpectedly . But Arthur will be here and he’ll take you to the airport to pick up Lance, all right?” “Oh, you don’ t have to – “ “Nonsense,” Gwen cut him of f. “It’s no trouble, just come knock on the door at two, and Arthur will be here.” “Gwen – “ “Got to go, I’m running late already . Bye, Merlin!” A beep announced the end of the call, leaving Merlin to stare at the phone in his hand. “Bye, Gwen,” he muttered, trepidation mounting at the thought of being alone in the car with Arthur . But when two o’clock rolled around, Merlin did as Gwen asked - amid some internal grumbling - and knocked on the penthouse door . The door flew open, revealing a harried Arthur on the other side. “Ready?” Arthur said brusquely . Merlin bristled but plastered a pleasant smile on his face. Arthur was doing him a favor , after all. “Ready when you are.” While waiting for Arthur to lock up, Merlin tapped a restless finger against his thigh. Arthur made a vague gesture toward the stairs, and Merlin seized the opportunity to lead the way . He didn’ t want to end up staring awkwardly at the back of Arthur ’s head while they descended a million sets of stairs. As it was, their conversation, if it could even be called that, was uncomfortable and stilted all the way down. It did not bode well for the car ride. When they got on the road, Merlin tried to make polite conversation, asking how Arthur ’s day was going, asking after his job, and thanking him for being his chauf feur. He received little in the way of responses. Nothing blatantly rude, but certainly nothing indicating any interest in continuing the conversation. Finally , Merlin snapped, “Look, mate, I know you don’ t like me, but we’re stuck in this car together for the next half hour , so is it too much to ask for you to stop being such a prat?” Arthur ’s mouth dropped open, and he swung around with an incredulous look on his face. The car swerved, and horns honked all around them. Flushing, Arthur scrambled at the wheel to right them in the lane. “Excuse you,” Arthur shot back. “Is this normally how you treat someone doing you a favor?” Merlin banged his head against the headrest in frustration. “No, I’m usually quite pleasant, ask your girlfriend or any of your friends. But you seem to turn into a porcupine any time you talk to me, so for give me if I’m done with getting stabbed.” Arthur huf fed and opened his mouth to retort, but no sound came out. Instead, he deflated, his fingers twitching around the steering wheel. Finally , he cleared his throat and muttered, “I don’t not like you.” Merlin stared at Arthur in disbelief. He blinked once, twice, three times, then said bluntly , “I don’t believe you.” Arthur heaved a put-upon sigh and darted a glance at Merlin. In the split second their eyes met, Merlin could see the truth in Arthur ’s words. “It’s true, I like you just fine. You’re a good friend to Gwen, and you get along with my mates, there’ s nothing not to like. I just think we’re very dif ferent people.” “Right… And you know this from the grand total of fifteen minutes we’ve spent conversing over the past few weeks?” Arthur made a frustrated noise. “You’re a physicist, I’m a businessman. You spend your time with your nose in a book, and I spend my time playing footie. You loved living in America, and you couldn’ t pay me enough to move there. We don’ t seem dif ferent enough to you?” “Sure, if you want to put people in neat little boxes like that,” Merlin retorted. “I am all of those things, but I also love musicals, history , and the near constant English rain. All things you’re partial to as well if I’m not mistaken.” “You’re not,” Arthur conceded begrudgingly . Merlin folded his arms with a satisfied smirk. “Look, I’m not saying we’re destined to be best friends, but you’re Gwen’ s boyfriend, and you seem like a decent bloke most of the time. I expect we’ll continue seeing more of each other , so I’d like to give the whole ‘being friends’ thing a go, if you can deign to do the same.” “Fine,” Arthur said. He rolled his eyes, but a reluctant smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Where do we start?” They spent the remainder of the drive bickering about everything from the merits of Broadway versus the W est End to dogs versus cats to whether dif ferent pasta shapes tasted different. It was a dynamic unlike any Merlin had experienced before. By the time they parked at Heathrow , something akin to friendship was blooming between them. With a pang of guilt, Merlin wondered if he’d made a mistake in confronting Arthur . Selfishly , he was delighted they connected. But the more they talked, the more Merlin found that he liked the way Arthur threw back his head when he laughed, the sparkle in his eyes when he came up with a particularly clever retort, and the way he made Merlin feel when their eyes met. Merlin wasn’ t blind, he’d noticed how fit Arthur was the first time they met. But he met fit blokes all the time, and it didn’ t matter that Arthur was exactly his type or that Merlin would climb him like a tree if given the chance. Arthur was Gwen’ s boyfriend, and presumably straight, so Merlin needed to shut his feelings down. -- Arthur hung back fiddling with his phone, watching yet another airport reunion between friends. This one – between Merlin and Lance – was much less emotional than the one between Merlin and Gwen, given it had only been weeks since they’d seen each other , rather than years. “Arthur , this is Lance,” Merlin said brightly , waving Arthur forward to introduce them. “Lance, this is Arthur , my friend Gwen’ s boyfriend.” “Pleased to meet you,” Arthur said, shaking Lance’ s hand warmly . “Same to you,” Lance replied. “It was very kind of you to come with Merlin to pick me up.” “Oh, I’m just the chauf feur,” Arthur said with a teasing grin at Merlin, who rolled his eyes in response. “Merlin seems to be incapable of providing his own transportation, so it’ s Arthur to the rescue.” “Oi,” Merlin protested. “I’m working on it! Besides, I asked Gwen for a ride, if anything, you’re doing her a favor , not me, you dollophead.” Shooting Merlin an incredulous look, Arthur led them toward the exit. “Dollophead? I’m certain there’ s no such word.” Merlin trotted to catch up and fell into step beside Arthur , armed with a cheeky smile. “It’s idiomatic.” “It is not.” “I assure you it is.” “Fine, describe ‘dollop head.’” “In two words?” “Yeah.” Merlin scrunched up his nose, clearly pretending to think very hard about his response. “Arthur Pendragon.” Stunned into silence, Arthur could only gape at Merlin. To his credit, Merlin managed to hold the innocent, wide-eyed expression for a full thirty seconds before his cheeks twitched with suppressed laughter . “You had me going for a while,” Arthur said, still snickering to himself as he pressed the button to unlock the trunk. When he turned around to get the luggage from Lance, he was confronted with Lance’ s curiously amused expression and with Merlin cutting in to snatch up the luggage before Arthur could. “I still stand by it,” Merlin insisted. His gaze locked with Arthur ’s, eyes twinkling with mirth and challenge. It felt as easy as breathing to continue trading gibes with Merlin as the three of them settled into the car and Arthur got them on the road. During a rare lull in the banter , Lance chimed in. “You seem good, Merlin,” he said, glancing between Arthur and Merlin with a warm smile. “This… bickering the two of you do. That’ s new. In a good way though.” “New?” Merlin asked quizzically . “Yeah, you’ve always been quick-witted, but I’ve never seen you like this with anyone else. I know Gwen is one of your closest friends, I’m glad you and her boyfriend get on so well.” The admission from someone who knew Merlin so well that Merlin was differ ent with him made Arthur ’s stomach do a funny flip flop. He squashed the feeling, but it was harder to squash the tiny thrill dancing up his spine when he noticed the pink tinge that rose to Merlin’ s cheeks. Harder still to squash was the disappointment when Merlin changed the subject. “Never mind me,” Merlin said, reaching back to jab Lance’ s arm with a finger . “How’ve you been, Lance? This is the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other since… under grad?” Jealousy sparked in Arthur ’s chest, and he mentally kicked himself. “Sounds like you two are close?” Merlin nodded. “We became friends in freshman year of college. After graduation, we decided to share a flat and have been flatmates ever since. It’s been ages since I’ve gone more than a week or two without seeing this face.” Chuckling, Lance shook his head. “It’ll be like nothing’ s changed once I move in here. We just had a six week break from each other .” “Lance is moving into the second bedroom,” Merlin explained when he caught sight of Arthur ’s confused face. “He tried to tell me he’d just need to crash for a couple weeks until he found his own place, but I have no need of two bedrooms and I’m used to living with him anyways.” A mischievous smile spread across Merlin’ s face, and he leaned close to Arthur , whispering conspiratorially , “You’ll like having Lance around, Arthur . He plays footie, and he’ll fit right in with your mates.” “Really?” Arthur blurted out. “I’m surprised a researcher like you would be the athletic type.” “After seeing those muscles, you have any doubt?” Merlin sniggered. Arthur flushed red. “Shut up, Merlin.” Lance smoothly came to Arthur ’s rescue. “I’ve been playing on and of f for years actually . Admittedly , I haven’ t had much time while doing my PhD, but I play when I can.” “You should come play with my mates and I then,” Arthur of fered. “I’ll include you next time we get together .” Lance’ s face lit up. “I’d love to.” Most of the remainder of the car ride was filled with continued discussion about footie, but as the conversation slipped into other topics, Arthur was pleasantly surprised to discover that he and Lance shared several other interests. Merlin, for his part, chimed in with his own remarks - sometimes valid, sometimes insulting, but always entertaining. By the time they arrived home, the three of them were laughing like old friends. “Why don’ t you both join myself and Gwen for dinner?” Arthur of fered once Lance’ s things were deposited in Merlin’ s flat. “Oh, we wouldn’ t want to impose,” Lance said. “It wouldn’ t be an imposition,” Arthur insisted. “We’re going to a nice Italian place down the street, we’ll just get a table for four instead of for two. Besides, Gwen would love to meet you, Lance.” Lance darted an uncertain glance at Merlin. “If you’re sure it’ s no trouble,” he said hesitantly . Merlin threw back his head in laughter . Bumping his shoulder against Lance’ s, he said to Arthur , “Come get us when you two head out? Gwen keeps telling me not to be a stranger , it’s about time I start listening to her .” -- When Merlin opened the door , Gwen and Arthur stood waiting on the other side. Gwen greeted him with a distracted, “Hi, Merlin,” while she tugged at the hem of her jacket, ineffectually trying to straighten it. Several buttons were in the wrong holes, and Merlin exchanged a quick amused glance with Arthur . “All right there, Gwen?” Merlin asked. Frowning, Gwen undid and redid each of her buttons, smoothing the front of the jacket so it would sit properly . “Shut up, I’m hungry ,” she huf fed. Merlin stifled a laugh. “Well, it’ s a good thing Lance and I are ready to go then.” “Hello there,” Lance called, peeking over Merlin’ s shoulder and waving in greeting. Two coats were draped over his arm, and Merlin took his gratefully before grabbing his keys and shrugging the coat on. “We won’ t keep Her Majesty waiting,” Merlin teased as he locked up. Gwen’ s hand shot out and seized a handful of Merlin’ s hair , tugging sharply . “Ow!” Merlin protested, flailing as he lost his balance. This was a remnant of childhood he could do without. Not to mention this used to hurt a lot less when he and Gwen were the same height. “Ignore Merlin. It’s very nice to meet you, Lance,” Gwen said, dancing out of Merlin’ s reach with an innocent smile. Grumbling, Merlin rubbed at the sore spot on his head. “Oh yes, whatever my queen commands.” “No one calls me that anymore,” Gwen whined. “How fortunate that I’m back to remind you!” Gwen looked over her shoulder and stuck her tongue out at Merlin. Merlin stuck his tongue out right back. “You two are literal children,” Arthur snorted. Merlin narrowed his eyes at him, and Arthur hastily covered his mouth with a hand, but it did nothing to hide the amusement twinkling in his eyes. Lance looked between the three of them, mystified. “I feel as though I’m missing something.” “When we were kids, Gwen got it into her head that she was ‘Queen Guinevere’,” Merlin explained. “Loved to play pretend where Elyan and I were her subjects. The fact that my name is ‘Merlin’ made it far too easy .” It was Lance’ s turn to snort in laughter . “Oh, that’ s precious.” “That’ s one word for it,” Merlin said, rolling his eyes. Gwen groaned and he swung around to her. “I don’ t know what you’re complaining about, you could’ve gone your entire life without being ‘Queen Guinevere’, it’ s me that could never have avoided association with Merlin the magician. My name is Merlin for god’ s sake!” “We were kids!” “Mhmm,” Merlin hummed. His gaze fell on Arthur , who was still trying to suppress his laughter , and a brilliant idea came to him. “But then again, Gwen… you are dating an ‘Arthur ’ so maybe you had it right all along.” Arthur made a choked of f sound and froze as three pairs of eyes fixed on him. “Whoa, whoa,” he said, slowing raising his hands in a gesture of peace. “This isn’ t about me.” A wicked smile spread across Merlin’ s lips. “Come on, are you two telling me that no one has joked about King Arthur and Queen Guinevere to you?” “Elyan has,” Gwen grumbled, pouting and folding her arms across her chest. Merlin doubled over in laughter . “I ought to thank him the next time I see him,” he choked out between laughs. “We’re here!” Arthur announced, hauling Gwen inside. Merlin was still quietly snickering by the time they were seated at their table. As they perused the menu, Lance said nonchalantly , “I don’ t know why you’re so triumphant, Merlin. Aren’ t the three of you Arthur , Merlin, and Guinevere now?” Betrayed, Merlin squawked in outrage. “Why aren’ t you on my side?” he sputtered. “I see you hadn’ t thought about that.” Arthur cut in, “Actually , the four of us make quite a group. Lance wouldn’ t be short for Lancelot, would it?” Lance’ s mouth dropped open. The four of them stared at each other in wide-eyed silence before bursting into laughter . “No, no, Lance isn’ t short for anything,” Lance gasped. Arthur ’s face was buried in his hands, shoulders shaking with laughter . Gwen clutched at Arthur ’s back, shaking along with him as she attempted to muf fle her giggles in his shirt. She waved a hand and said, “This conversation has already gone on way too long. I think this should be our cue to never speak of it again.” “Truce,” Merlin declared, extending a hand across the table. “Truce.” Merlin and Gwen shook hands solemnly , then dissolved into one last round of giggles. After placing their orders with a waiter who shot them a series of odd looks, Gwen turned her attention to Lance. “Lance, so sorry to subject you to that piece of history .” Chuckling, Lance shot a sideways glance at Merlin. “No apologies necessary . I’m used to Merlin and his oddities.” “Oi,” Merlin grumbled, glaring half-heartedly . Gwen flashed Merlin a grin. To Lance, she said, “It’ s really very nice to meet you. Merlin speaks of you often, I feel as though I know you already .” “Yes, you as well,” Lance said warmly . “I’m pleased to have the chance to meet you in person. I hear you’ve been a lifesaver since Merlin moved in. I’m grateful, it’ s been a massive help to me by extension.” “Just helping out a friend.” Gwen’ s cheeks flushed pink, her hands fluttering to her hair , then her jacket before she folded them in her lap. “I hope I’m not being rude, but I have to ask. Your accent… did you grow up here, Lance? It’s just that you don’ t sound like an American.” “You could say that,” Lance replied. “I grew up in Surrey , but after primary school, my dad’ s job transferred him to America. My mum and I moved with him. This is me of ficially moving back.” “That explains it! Your parents are still in America then?” “Afraid not,” Lance said softly . “They passed away a few years ago.” Gwen’ s face crumpled in sympathy . “I’m so sorry .” Merlin gripped Lance’ s shoulder tightly . “It was a car accident. We were in junior year of college,” he explained. It was still a hard topic for Lance to talk about, so when Merlin could, he tried to save him the breath. Gently , Gwen laid one hand over Lance’ s. “It’s not much, but I understand,” she murmured. “My father passed away a few years ago as well. Illness, so I had time to prepare, but it doesn’ t make it hurt any less.” Lance’ s eyes were sad, but there was a glimmer of a smile on his lips. He turned his hand over and squeezed Gwen’ s gratefully . “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Arthur touched the small of Gwen’ s back, and she leaned into it. “I still have my younger brother , Elyan,” she said, withdrawing her hand to stroke Arthur ’s arm with a smile. “Arthur as well.” As Gwen and Lance continued to exchange stories of their loss, Arthur drew Merlin into conversation, giving them the space to grieve without intrusion. “I think this is good for her ,” Arthur said quietly , darting a glance at Gwen’ s melancholy expression. “I was there for her when her dad passed, but I’ve never been through it myself.” “Yeah,” Merlin murmured. “It was the same for me with Lance.” “My mother died giving birth to me,” Arthur confessed. “It’s not that I’m a stranger to grief, but it’ s not the same.” Merlin’ s eyes widened - he was touched Arthur would share such a personal story with him. Affection sur ged in his chest, and Merlin said, “I never knew my father . He left not long after I was born.” Their gazes locked, and for a moment, it felt as if they understood each other perfectly . Arthur broke away first, shaking himself and changing the subject. “Let’ s not bring down the mood even more. Do you like Italian?” Merlin perked up. He glanced around the restaurant, taking in the cozy atmosphere and the twinkling lights. “I love it. This restaurant is lovely , so quiet and homey .” A grin broke out across Arthur ’s face, and his eyes lit up. “That’ s exactly what I say! It’s the best kind of place, not like those huge chains that pack in as many tables as they can fit.” Chin propped on one hand, Merlin watched Arthur babble on, endeared by his excitement and the sparkle in his eyes. Still, he couldn’ t resist throwing in one gibe. “’Do you like Italian?’” Merlin mimicked. “You didn’ t think to ask that before we came to dinner here? What if I said no?” Arthur sputtered indignantly . “I told you we were going to an Italian restaurant when we got back from the airport! You had more than enough time to say otherwise.” “Maybe I was just being polite.” “Right, as if,” Arthur snorted. “How rude,” Merlin gasped dramatically and clapped a hand over his heart. “I know you are,” Arthur shot back, all smug condescension. Under the table, Merlin aimed a kick at Arthur ’s shoe, then leaned forward, challenging. “You have not known me nearly long enough to say things like that.” Arthur mirrored him, resting his elbows against the table. “But somehow I feel as if I’ve known you all my life.” Any retort Merlin had evaporated into smoke. Arthur was distractingly close. His blue eyes were inches away , his smirk was far too flirty , and Merlin swore he could catch a faint whif f of Arthur ’s intoxicating cologne. “Y-Yeah,” Merlin stammered. Slowly , the smirk faded from Arthur ’s lips, and his gaze drifted lower . Merlin’ s mouth went dry, and his pulse roared in his ears. Worse, he didn’ t think he was imagining the pull between them. A peal of laughter rang out, and Merlin and Arthur sprang apart. Arthur ’s chair scraped sharply against the floor , and he gripped the table edge to avoid tipping backward. Merlin stared down at this plate, gulping down shaky breaths, fighting down the heat creeping up his neck. When he looked up, he couldn’ t help but notice Arthur looked equally flushed and flustered. Beside them, Gwen and Lance paid them no mind. Gwen was giggling, a hand over her mouth. Lance was grinning as well, whispering what sounded like the tail end of a story . Merlin was hardly paying attention to the words coming out of Lance’ s mouth, too focused on the way Gwen and Lance leaned into each other ’s space, heads bent close together . Their conversation had clearly moved past grief, and the two must have found something else to bond over . Fantastic. But Merlin had seen that look on Lance’ s face before, and he could see the writing on the wall. Lance was a romantic. When he fell, he fell hard and fast. But that way lay heartbreak. Arthur didn’ t seem to mind, or perhaps he hadn’ t caught on. He was fiddling with his phone, not even watching the scene before them unfold. Merlin let out a breath he didn’ t know he was holding, but worry settled in the pit of his stomach. -- With some distance from that first dinner , Merlin tried to put it the entire incident out of his mind. It didn’ t mean anything. It couldn’ t. Perhaps he’d imagined the looks between Gwen and Lance. Perhaps he’d imagined the sparks between him and Arthur . After that night, things settled into a semblance of a routine. Since the four of them lived just floors apart, Gwen was forever pushing them together , insisting on Merlin spending more time with her boyfriend and on herself spending more time with Merlin’ s other best friend. It was all very normal and innocent, absolutely nothing to worry about. Merlin and Lance had a standing invitation to join Gwen and Arthur for dinner any time they wanted. But best friend or not, Merlin seriously doubted she wanted them underfoot all the time. Her and Arthur might live in the penthouse – which was a huge, gor geous space – but it was still her and her boyfriend’ s home. No couple wanted a constant third and fourth wheel. Despite Merlin’ s best ef forts to lay low , Gwen strong-armed him into agreeing to dinner every Friday . It wasn’ t that Merlin didn’ t want to go. The four of them got on incredibly well. But the more time they spent together , the harder it became to put on the brakes. One weekly dinner snowballed into several, then into nearly every night. Before Merlin even realized what was happening, their nightly routine became dinner and telly in the penthouse. They even had a rotating schedule of who cooked dinner which day and which days they ordered takeaway . It was terribly domestic, and Merlin kind of loved it. He’d even almost convinced himself it was quite normal that he and Lance saw Arthur and Gwen nearly as much as Arthur and Gwen saw each other . Later , Merlin would blame it on the fancy wine, or maybe his own exhaustion, but on a night no dif ferent than any other , Merlin was suddenly struck with the realization of how truly odd their situation was. Arthur had the day of f, so he’d put together a herb crusted rack of lamb for dinner along with some roasted potatoes and carrots. Despite being rich and posh, the kind of person who grew up with a cook in his childhood home, Arthur was a fantastic cook. Merlin thought it was immensely unfair for one person to be so good at everything. Dinner was delicious, and after Merlin and Lance finished tidying up, they made their way into the living room, ready to spend the rest of their night sprawled on the couch in front of the telly . In the entrance to the living room, Merlin froze as he saw the scene with new eyes. Arthur and Gwen had settled in their usual spots on the sectional. Gwen preferred the corner , and Arthur sat beside her . She was curled up with her back against one cushion, and her knees were bent so she could tuck her toes under Arthur ’s thigh. Which left enough space for one person to sit comfortably on Arthur ’s right, and another to sit on Gwen’ s left. Lance breezed past Merlin and plopped down in his usual seat beside Gwen, already recounting a story that brought a smile to Gwen’ s face. Merlin’ s usual seat, beside Arthur , sat empty and waiting for him. “Sit down, Merlin,” Arthur called in a fondly exasperated tone and patted the cushion next to him. Merlin sat. It wasn’ t as if one could divine meaning from a particular seating arrangement and, from there, make a judgment on the state of the relationships between the four of them. No, the problem was how the night progressed afterwards. While they always started the night as a group, chatting away around the dinner table, somehow they always ended up breaking into pairs. It only made sense, right? One would think they would find something to watch, Arthur and Gwen would cuddle up together , and Merlin and Lance would chat amongst themselves. And of course, when there was something to share, the four of them would talk, laugh, and joke as a group. But, no. No, Arthur spent the night bantering with Merlin, squeezed into Merlin’ s personal space, even while he had a hand loosely wrapped around Gwen’ s ankle. As he did every night . Constantly , Arthur whispered quips in Merlin’ s ear, and the two of them ended up snickering about joke after inside joke. Gwen spent the night leaning the other way , her and Lance’ s heads bent toward each other . A constant stream of whispers and laughs came from them. No dif ferent than any other night. Each of them barely paid any mind to the people on the other side of the couch. Merlin wondered if he was the only one who noticed. It could be innocent, right? Maybe Merlin was just reading too much into things. The next night, it was Merlin’ s turn to cook. As Arthur and Gwen tidied up in the kitchen, Merlin dragged Lance with him into the living room, and plopped himself down in Gwen’ s spot. Lance shot Merlin a funny look. When he opened his mouth to speak, Merlin gave his arm a sharp yank, and Lance tipped over into the seat next to Merlin. It left a whole side of the couch empty . When Arthur and Gwen returned, they blinked in confusion, seemingly baf fled about where they were supposed to sit. With some hesitation, they sat down next to each other in the space Merlin purposely left for them. Merlin spent the night actively trying to engage Lance in conversation more than Arthur . It was awkward as hell. Merlin couldn’ t recall the last time he had this much trouble holding an easy conversation with the particular people in this room. Halfway through their show , Merlin of fered to make tea. When he and Lance brought back the brewed tea, Gwen and Arthur had shifted into their usual positions, leaving Lance and Merlin no choice but to do the same. The tension in the room dissipated, and with that small change, they all found their stride again. Arthur with Merlin. Lance with Gwen. Merlin still thought it odd that where they sat made such a dif ference, but he let it go. Perhaps it really was him reading too much into things. Maybe it was his own heavy-handed meddling that had made the evening so awkward. As if they were making up for lost time from the first half of the evening, the four of them ended up so engrossed in their conversations that they left Netflix up and running for far longer than usual. Merlin and Lance tended to migrate back to their flat by ten p.m. most nights, since each of them needed to get ready for work the next morning. But this time, when Netflix prompted them with its “Are you still watching?” message, Merlin had to stifle a yawn. He glanced at his phone and was shocked to see twelve thirty-seven a.m. flash on his screen. It was far too late for them to still be here. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Merlin leaned over to try and catch Lance’ s eye. He stopped in his tracks – Gwen had fallen asleep on Lance’ s shoulder , and Lance’ s cheek was pillowed on top of her head, eyes closed. Merlin bit his lip and glanced at Arthur , hoping this had somehow escaped his notice. Lucky for Lance and Gwen, it had. But only because Arthur was also asleep, slumped back against the cushions, one hand splayed out, reaching toward Merlin. Merlin was torn. On the one hand, staying here all night and waking up like this was a recipe for disaster . On the other hand, he very much would like to curl up next to Arthur and plead unconsciousness the next morning for the awkward position they were sure to find themselves in. A yawn escaped him. Merlin was very tired. And this couch was very comfortable. Hesitantly , Merlin inched back until he was reclined against the cushions. Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a minute… Merlin peeked an eye open. None of his companions stirred. Against his better judgment, Merlin scooted closer to Arthur . Very gently , he pushed Arthur ’s hand back toward him, then rested his own hand over Arthur ’s and leaned his head on Arthur ’s shoulder . “Mmm,” Arthur mumbled. Merlin froze. Instead of waking up, Arthur shifted closer . Merlin let out a tiny sigh of relief. Now , maybe he really would rest his eyes for a bit… Just for a few minutes though, he should still wake everyone… “Shit!” Merlin jolted awake, smacking his head into something hard. “Ow,” Arthur groaned. Rubbing the tender spot on the back of his head, Merlin glanced around. Oh no, he was still in the penthouse, and it was clearly morning… Arthur was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with one hand while the other rubbed the underside of his chin. Merlin winced. So that was what he’d smacked into. Speaking of… On the other side of the couch, Lance and Gwen had leaped to their feet and were frantically patting their clothes and hair . “Shit, shit, shit,” Gwen muttered. “I’m so late for work!” “I am too,” Lance groaned, slapping his own cheek. “I was meant to be in an hour ago.” The two of them dashed away - Gwen for the bathroom, and Lance out the door . Merlin blinked sleepily after them. Was it his imagination or were they both blushing? “Guess it pays of f to not be an early bird,” Arthur said, nudging Merlin’ s arm. “What time is it?” Arthur checked his phone, then turned the screen toward Merlin. “It’s nine twenty-five.” Breathing a sigh of relief, Merlin sank back into the couch. “Figures. Lance is usually at work by eight.” Arthur nodded, shooting a worried glance at the closed bathroom door . “Gwen too. She’s almost always the first one in.” “Overachievers,” Merlin said with a mock exasperated shake of his head. Arthur snorted. “You’re one to talk, Dr. Emrys.” “Fine, but I didn’ t say I’m late,” Merlin retorted. “I might have a PhD, but I value my sleep.” “We may have just found another thing we have in common.” Merlin rolled his eyes. “I just don’ t like to get up at the crack of dawn to cram myself in the tube. I still have to get ready for work, so I admit I’ll be a little late today , but I usually leave around this time.” “Oh,” Arthur said, blinking at Merlin in surprise. “Me too. I work late a lot, and I get to avoid traffic if I leave after nine. Do you need a ride?” “Thought you didn’ t want to be a chauf feur?” Merlin teased. Chuckling, Arthur rose to his feet and stretched his arms over his head. His shirt rode up, revealing a sliver of skin that Merlin would very much like to lick. “You’re not so bad, Emrys.” Merlin’ s head snapped up, his cheeks turning pink when he realized he had been staring. “Hmm? Right, same to you.” Smirking, Arthur strode away toward the bedroom. “Meet me outside in twenty , and I’ll drive you,” he called over his shoulder . It took Merlin a full minute to process what had just happened. When his brain caught up, he scrambled of f the couch and raced back to his own flat to change. After rush hour or not, Merlin still didn’ t fancy taking the tube when he had a perfectly good offer of a ride in a comfortable car . What he hadn’ t expected was for the one-time of fer to turn into a pattern. Though he never had before, every few days, he would now run into Arthur on the way to work. And unfailingly polite as Arthur was, each time he would shuf fle Merlin into his car where they would proceed to have a spirited twenty-minute ride to Albion Labs, sniping at each other the entire way . Before Merlin knew it, every few days turned into every day . Merlin knew he was in trouble when he found himself leaning against the wall outside the entrance to the building, waiting a full fifteen minutes for a ruf fled Arthur to emer ge, an apology on his lips for being late. His morning commute quickly – too quickly – became Merlin’ s favorite part of the day . Even while Merlin scolded himself for jumping through mental hoop after hoop to explain away the amount of time he spent with Arthur , Merlin said nothing about Gwen and Lance doing the same. They were all playing with fire. — Merlin was in his of fice at Albion Labs, his back to the door . He had been preparing his research for weeks to give an important presentation on his findings to his department head that afternoon. A knock came at the door . “Come in,” Merlin called distractedly . “Dr. Emrys?” Merlin twisted around - one his assistants had poked her head in. “Mar got, how can I help you?” Margot smiled sheepishly and pointed at a shelf near the back of the of fice. “I left my things in here earlier . Is now a good time for me to grab them?” Following her finger , Merlin spotted a stack of papers along with an iced cof fee that weren’ t his. “Certainly , come right in.” By the time Mar got ducked inside and gathered her things, Merlin had turned back to his work, already back to mentally running through his presentation. Absorbed as he was in his work, Merlin completely failed to register Mar got scurrying past him to leave. When he took a step back, he bodily collided with Mar got. A high-pitched yelp. Papers fluttering through the air . A shock of ice-cold liquid down his back. At a loss for words, Merlin stood in the middle of his of fice, dripping iced cof fee while a flustered Mar got babbled apologies and tried inef fectually to dab him dry with a single damp napkin. Merlin blinked down at himself. Already , he could see cof fee seeping around the sides of his white shirt. Near tears, Mar got cried, “I’m so sorry , Dr. Emrys!” Merlin snapped out of it, mustering up a smile and gently pushing her hand away . “Mar got, Margot, it’ s fine,” he said as soothingly as he could. “I’ll just have to find another shirt.” “But your presentation!” “Will be fine,” Merlin said, thanking god his voice didn’ t crack. “It would be lovely if you could clean this up for me, but if you’ll excuse me?” “Yes, yes,” Mar got said, nodding fervently . “I’m so sorry , Dr. Emrys. Please let me know if I can help!” Merlin managed one last reassuring smile. Once his of fice door was shut behind him, Merlin broke into a run toward Lance’ s office. He barreled inside, wailing, “Lance, help!” Alarmed, Lance shot to his feet. He took in Merlin’ s disheveled appearance and cursed softly when Merlin spun around, waving his arms frantically to gesture at his back. “Shit, Merlin. What happened?” “Mar got’s cof fee spilled all over me,” Merlin groaned and buried his face in his hands. Gently , Lance plucked at the fabric of Merlin’ s shirt, wincing when cof fee dripped to the floor . Merlin grabbed Lance by the shoulders and shook him. “Please tell me you have a spare shirt. Please. ” Lance rummaged through his of fice, but he came up empty . “I’m sorry , Merlin. I don’ t. But don’t worry , we’ll figure something out, all right?” “Oh god,” Merlin whimpered. “I can’ t fuck up this presentation.” “We’ll find the closest clothing store,” Lance soothed, gingerly patting a clean section of Merlin’ s shirt. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see.” Merlin perched on the edge of a chair , lightly banging his forehead against Lance’ s desk. He was careful not to lean back, Lance didn’ t need cof fee soaked cushions. “We’re saved!” Merlin’ s head shot up. “You’ve found a store?” Lance shook his head but held out his phone triumphantly . “Gwen is going to save us. She says she has some of Arthur ’s shirts in the car from the dry cleaners. Her of fice is only a few minutes walk away , so she’ s going to run over now .” “Gwen, my savior ,” Merlin cried. Merlin had been so wrapped up in his own panic that he hadn’ t even thought to question why Lance and Gwen texted with such frequency that Lance immediately told her what happened. The shirts all ended up being a little bit too big for Merlin, but they saved his ass. Of course, he had a whole dif ferent problem of trying to put out of his head that it was Arthur ’s shirt he was wearing. But really , that was a minor problem compared to the crisis averted. If one shirt mysteriously went missing when Merlin returned the shirts to Gwen, that was Merlin’ s own business. To thank Gwen, Merlin insisted on taking her and Lance out to lunch. The three of them had a great time, and they all agreed they should do this more often. So they did. Somewhere along the way , it became routine for Gwen to drop by Albion Labs for the three of them to go to lunch together . To make things easier for all of them, they worked out a schedule in which they ate together every T uesday , Thursday , and Friday . From time to time, Merlin would be too busy to make their standing lunch date. But Gwen and Lance never did. A few months after their tradition started, Merlin was roped into a project with a compressed timeline. For an entire six weeks, Merlin was buried in work - he arrived at work early , left late, and ate a hurried lunch at his desk. But Merlin was quite sure Gwen was coming by for lunch more often? In fact, every time Merlin bumped into Lance after lunch hour , Lance was smiling from ear to ear . Merlin wasn’ t an idiot. His friends weren’ t either . As his best friend, Lance was the one Merlin usually shared his musings with. Lance was the most level-headed person he knew , and this was exactly the kind of situation in which he would know what to say . Except this particular situation had become so irrevocably tangled that he didn’ t know where to start. If he even should start. What could he possibly say? Lance, mate, maybe stop trying to pull Gwen since she has a boyfriend? No, what do you mean, I’m not mooning over Arthur , you’re crazy . So, Merlin kept his mouth shut and ignored the ever -present sinking feeling in his stomach each time the four of them gravitated toward the wrong people. -- A text from Gwaine flashed on Merlin’ s phone. ’Club tonight?’ Merlin smiled fondly . Over the months since his move to London, he and Gwaine had become good friends. Gwaine was constantly on the prowl for something fun to do – usually involving a pub or a club – so almost every weekend, Merlin found himself with an invitation from Gwaine to join him. He didn’ t accept very often, preferring to spend his time curled up with a book or sat watching telly with Arthur , Gwen, and Lance. But once in a while, usually when Merlin could feel his inadvisable crush on Arthur spiraling out of control, he would force himself to go out with Gwaine on the pull. This felt like one of those times. On impulse, Merlin texted back that he and Lance would be there. Maybe he was projecting his own feelings, but things between Lance and Gwen felt like they were tipping dangerously in the wrong direction. When Merlin told Lance, Lance had tried to put up a fight, subtly complaining about an early start in the morning until Merlin flatly reminded him they had the next day of f. In no mood to deal with excuses, Merlin gave Lance exactly five more seconds to flounder before marching to the closet and rummaging for appropriate clubbing wear . “It’ll be good for both of us,” Merlin insisted as he glared Lance into submission. Despite the reluctant start, Lance brightened once they’d downed a few drinks and hopped on the dance floor . They were at The Green Knight, a club only a fifteen-minute walk from Merlin and Lance’ s flat. Merlin was having a great time. This was a great way to for get about Arthur . …Damn. Whenever Arthur ’s face floated before his eyes, Merlin threw himself into dancing with a renewed vigor . Lance and Gwaine were both fantastic dance partners, especially without any romantic entanglements weighing down their interactions. But a club was a club, and none of them were short of partners seeking their company . A curvy brunette quickly caught Gwaine’ s eye. She sidled up to Gwaine, and after a couple minutes of grinding against each other , Gwaine dipped her and planted a showy kiss on her lips. With a saucy wink at Merlin and Lance, Gwaine disappeared into the crowd, the brunette clinging to his hand. Lance needed a bit of time to warm up to the men and women trying to catch his attention, but even he was drawn to a tall blonde who tapped him on the shoulder . He spun her , wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her back against his front. They swayed together , and he relaxed into it when the woman tipped her head back and pulled him down for a kiss. She whispered something in his ear , then took him by the hand, tugging shyly . When Lance turned to shoot an apologetic look at Merlin, the blonde met Merlin’ s gaze and flashed a friendly smile. Immediately , Merlin saw what broke through Lance’ s barriers. She had kind brown eyes, and the warmth in her smile was all Gwen. Merlin bit his lip. A little worried, he kept an eye on Lance as he followed the woman of f the dance floor . He needn’ t have worried. They slid into a booth and the woman climbed into his lap, wasting no time in kissing the breath from Lance’ s lips. A tiny chuckle escaped Merlin. He couldn’ t say if Lance was thinking about Gwen or not, but judging by where his hands were, Lance was just fine. “Need some company?” a voice shouted in Merlin’ s ear. Merlin whirled around, nearly tripping over his own feet. A set of warm hands steadied him, and Merlin found himself looking into a handsome face with pretty blue eyes, framed with golden blond hair . Heart pounding, Merlin almost blurted out, “Arthur?” He bit his tongue. It was just another gor geous blond bloke. Inwardly , Merlin blamed Arthur for his new taste in men. It was exceedingly unfair . How was he supposed to get over Arthur like this? He gave the bloke a quick once-over and decided, “He’ll do.” Aloud, with a flirtatious smirk, Merlin said, “Are you of fering?” The bloke grinned and made his answer clear by winding his arms around Merlin and pulling them flush together . Merlin wasn’ t complaining. He’d been behaving like a shameless tease all night, so he’d had plenty of of fers, but none he’d been interested in. Even Gwaine had raised an eyebrow at him at one point when Merlin had gotten slightly too carried away . One particular bloke had looked about five seconds from coming in his pants when Merlin patted his chest and sent him of f. The man hobbled of f the dance floor in the direction of the loo… Merlin felt a little bad about that one. This bloke though… well if he couldn’ t have Arthur , what was the harm in having a little fun with the next best thing? Merlin danced as if he wanted to fuck right there on the dance floor - full of grinding hips, sloppy kisses, and wandering hands. The bloke’ s breath was hot against Merlin’ s ear, panting, “Do you want to go – “ “ – get of f?” Merlin cut him of f. He was willing to bet the bloke was about to invite him back to his place, but Merlin wasn’ t interested in leaving with him. “Saw a private toilet in the back.” Clearly not about to turn down the chance, the bloke snapped his mouth shut and nodded. “Lead the way .” In the toilet, Merlin let the bloke press him against the wall, let himself be swept away in the sensation of kisses and the bloke’ s mouth around his cock. After he’d tucked himself back in, Merlin returned the favor , too focused on the uncomfortable tile beneath his knees to much enjoy it. After they parted ways, Merlin met back up with Lance. By silent mutual agreement, they headed back toward their flat. Neither said much, both lost in their own thoughts. The cold night air was sobering, and Merlin just wanted to go home and brush his teeth to wash away the bitter taste of come lingering in his mouth. But as Merlin stared up at the night sky , he couldn’ t help but think it was still better than the taste of rejection. -- Merlin was alone in his flat, sprawled like a starfish on the couch. Lance was away until mid-Saturday , traveling for a conference for his research. Gwen was busy too. The non-profit she managed was hosting a gala, and she wouldn’ t be home until the wee hours of the morning. And Arthur… well, Arthur was home too, Merlin knew . So Merlin found himself staring up at the ceiling, phone dangling from his fingers, a half- written response to a text from Gwaine lit up on the screen. Gwaine had invited him to go clubbing again, and Merlin could not make up his mind. On the one hand, it would take his mind of f Arthur , and he could stop pining like a schoolgirl on a Friday night. On the other hand, Merlin really didn’ t want to go clubbing. A knock sounded at the door . “Merlin?” came Arthur ’s muf fled voice. Merlin bolted upright, staring at the door in shock. He scrambled to his feet and flung the door open. On the other side was Arthur , arms folded, an unimpressed expression on his face. “Isn’ t it your turn to cook tonight?” Merlin blinked back at him in silence. “Well?” Arthur said, looking increasingly uncertain. “Or is this your way of telling me you have other plans?” “No!” Merlin blurted out. Then mentally kicked himself for not making up an excuse. A pleased smile crept across Arthur ’s face, and his usual cocky arrogance set back in. “Come up already then,” he called over his shoulder as he headed back down the hall. Gaping after him, Merlin didn’ t close the door until Arthur disappeared around the corner . Well, this was exactly what Merlin was trying to avoid. But Merlin was smiling as he tapped out a response to Gwaine, turning down his invitation. As he climbed the stairs toward the penthouse, Merlin couldn’ t help humming under his breath, heart skipping a beat at the thought of an entire night spent alone with Arthur . The penthouse door was unlocked when Merlin tried the handle. “I could be coming to rob you,” Merlin called as he toed his shoes of f. Arthur tipped his head back from his position on the couch, looking at Merlin from upside down. “But you’re not.” “You don’ t know that.” Rolling his eyes, Arthur closed his book and padded over to meet Merlin in the kitchen. “I could take you.” “I’m stronger than I look,” Merlin snif fed. He pointedly turned his back on Arthur and bent to peer into the fridge. “Curry maybe?” “Sure. Need help?” “I wouldn’ t turn it down. Start the rice while I chop the vegetables?” They chatted amiably in the kitchen while preparing dinner , Merlin’ s music playing quietly in the background. When they sat down to eat, Arthur asked, mid-mouthful, “Y ou didn’ t have other plans tonight, did you?” Merlin’ s hand jerked and sent curry splattering. “I told you no earlier .” “I’m asking you again.” Merlin dropped his eyes to his plate, pushing rice and curry around until one pile was mostly mush. “I wasn’ t sure,” Merlin said honestly . “Gwaine invited me out, but I hadn’ t answered him yet. Gwen and Lance aren’ t around, so I didn’ t know if… our plans changed.” “You didn’ t want to come without them.” Arthur ’s tone was carefully neutral. “No, that’ s not it,” Merlin said quickly . “I-I did. But I didn’ t know if you would.” Surprise flickered across Arthur ’s face. “Merlin, we’re friends, aren’ t we?” “Yes,” Merlin answered without hesitation. “Then it doesn’ t matter if it’ s just us,” Arthur said, flashing a charming smile and nudging Merlin’ s leg under the table. “Right,” Merlin croaked. Arthur ’s shoulders slumped slightly , and he bowed his head. “But you could’ve gone out with Gwaine if you wanted.” “I didn’ t. I’d rather be here with you.” Arthur shot him an unreadable look. “But you do sometimes. Go out with Gwaine, I mean.” Merlin nodded slowly , unsure what Arthur was getting at. “Are you and Gwaine…?” Merlin looked at Arthur blankly . When his meaning sank in, Merlin barked a laugh. “God, no,” he said. “Gwaine’ s not interested in anything more than a shag, and as nice as that would be, no thanks. Besides, Lance comes out with us sometimes too.” Arthur seemed a little more at ease, but tension still held his shoulders taut. “I know how Gwaine is. I’ve been out with him too. Going to a club or a pub with Gwaine doesn’ t usually end with anyone leaving alone.” Heat crept into Merlin’ s cheeks, and he desperately tried to will it down. “Even Gwaine just needs a friend sometimes,” he said lightly . Arthur didn’ t ask any more, but Merlin could tell by the purse of his lips that he could read between the lines. An odd tension hung in the air between them as they finished their dinner , and it didn’ t dissipate until Merlin flicked a handful of soap suds at Arthur while tidying up. From there, the night devolved into a slippery water fight. Merlin and Arthur laughed themselves hoarse, slipping and sliding in the puddles on the kitchen tile, clothes soaked through. Cleaning up the mess afterward was much less fun, but somehow , Merlin couldn’ t imagine a better night. “Don’ t you dare sit on the couch in your wet clothes,” Arthur shouted. Merlin spun around and stuck his tongue out. “Relax, clotpole. I’ll go home and change.” Shaking his head, Arthur breezed past him, heading for the bedroom. “Don’ t bother , I’ll lend you some pyjamas.” Before Merlin had a chance to protest, Arthur was banging through the dresser . Two things flew through the open doorway and smacked Merlin in the face. “Try those,” Arthur called. Clutching the clothes to his chest, Merlin dithered until Arthur started to pull his shirt over his head. Wide-eyed, Merlin watched the wet fabric slide over Arthur ’s skin, revealing inch after inch of golden skin. With a squeak, Merlin scampered away into a spare bedroom and slammed the door . Breathing hard, he leaned back against the door , knocking his head against the wood to clear his head. He needed to get a grip. The pyjamas he’d been given would be soaked through if he didn’ t stop clutching them to his chest and get changed already . The pyjamas were a little big, as Merlin had expected. But they were comfortable, and they smelled like Arthur . Merlin padded out of the spare bedroom and hung his clothes in the bathroom before flopping down beside Arthur on the couch. By mutual agreement, they put a film on to watch. At first, they snarked at each other and sniggered at inside jokes, as usual. But without Gwen and Lance there, Merlin allowed himself a little bit more free reign. Allowed himself to be bolder than he would dare with his best friend there to see the way he looked at her boyfriend. He looked a little longer , laughed a little harder . When Arthur slung an arm across the back of the couch, Merlin inched closer , letting his head slip onto Arthur ’s shoulder during an emotional scene. By the time the credits rolled, Merlin didn’ t even know how they got there, but he was curled into Arthur ’s side, and Arthur ’s arm was snug around his shoulders. His heart was pounding so loudly he was sure Arthur could hear it. When he tipped his head back to look at Arthur , Arthur was looking back. Their gazes collided and, for a moment, Merlin swore he saw a flash of desire in Arthur ’s eyes. Merlin pulled away . No. Arthur was his best friend’ s boyfriend. As wonderful as the night had been, it was nothing but a fantasy in Merlin’ s own head. -- Leon showed up at the penthouse bearing trays full of Greek catering. Apparently , he’d been in char ge of a company event and was saddled with all the leftover food. He begged Arthur and Gwen to take some, and they’d taken pity on him. But not before corralling Merlin, Lance, and Gwaine into joining them to polish it of f. The trays were lined up across the kitchen counters, and the six of them were each waiting their turn to fill their plates. Without being asked, Lance put together two platefuls, carefully selecting dif ferent things for each plate. He sat beside Gwen at the table, handing her one plate and setting the other down in front of himself. Gwen beamed up at him and said, “My favorites!” Arthur flopped onto the couch, nudged Merlin with his foot, and looked pointedly at the food until Merlin sighed, rolled his eyes, and got up. “No olives, you know how I like it,” Arthur chirped at Merlin’ s back. When Merlin returned with their food, an olive sat in the center of Arthur ’s plate, the biggest one Merlin could find. Pouting, Arthur stabbed the olive and waved it in Merlin’ s face. “You know I’m not going to eat this,” he complained. Blinking innocently , Merlin popped a piece of chicken into his mouth. “You never know , Arthur . Today could be the day you discover you love olives.” “Take the damn olive.” “Are you suuuure you don’ t want to try it?” Arthur shook his head vehemently and jabbed Merlin’ s cheek with the olive. “Suit yourself.” Grinning, Merlin caught the olive between his teeth and pulled it of f Arthur ’s fork. As he chewed, he added, “One day you’ll see sense, Arthur Pendragon.” “You’re an idiot,” Arthur grumbled between mouthfuls of rice. Gwaine had been watching the entire exchange with interest. As he sauntered over to the couch, he asked, “When did you four manage to swap partners without any of us noticing?” One by one, Arthur , Merlin, Gwen, and Lance froze. Slowly , they turned to stare at Gwaine, who had a roguish grin on his face. The silence stretched on for so long that Gwaine’ s grin faded, and he glanced between the four of them, looking slightly concerned. “All right there? I was just joking.” Arthur found his voice first. “That doesn’ t make any sense,” he said flatly . “Merlin and Lance aren’ t even together , and they never have been.” The atmosphere turned tense even as the grin reappeared on Gwaine’ s face. Merlin and Lance both looked away , clearing their throats uncomfortably . “Merlin, mate! Did you lie to me about hooking up with Lance?” Gwaine lamented. Arthur and Gwen drew in twin sharp intakes of breath. Merlin darted a guilty glance at Arthur , and out of the corner of his eye, didn’ t miss Lance doing the same at Gwen. Neither of them knew what to say , but there was no denying the hurt written across Arthur and Gwen’ s faces. Loudly – too loudly – Leon declared, “The food is good, isn’ t it? I didn’ t get a chance to try it at work, but it’ s top notch.” Lance shot Leon a grateful smile, and Leon gave a small nod in response. There was a troubled look in Leon’ s eyes when Merlin met his gaze, and Merlin gave a tiny shake of his head, silently begging Leon not to ask. No one spoke of it further , but the revelation had soured the night. Gwen was uncharacteristically quiet, and Arthur answered any questions directed his way in short, clipped tones. Gwaine and Leon made their excuses soon after their plates were empty . Merlin couldn’ t blame them. He’d escape too if he could. Quietly , the remaining four cleared away the dirty dishes and boxed up what little food was left. When Gwen elbowed her way past Lance to fill up the kettle, Lance leaped out of the way like a startled deer . He gave her a wide berth as she moved around the kitchen making tea. Seeing his opportunity , Merlin caught Arthur ’s eye and jerked his head toward the living room. Arthur ’s eyes were guarded, but he gave a single small nod. Relieved, Merlin led the way out of the kitchen, through the living room, and into the hallway leading to the bedrooms. He didn’ t dare glance back, reassured by the sound of soft footfalls that Arthur was following. “What?” Arthur asked gruf fly. Merlin bit his lip. He forced himself to turn around and meet Arthur ’s steely gaze. “It’s not what you think,” he blurted out. “What’ s not what I think?” Arthur scof fed. “Lance and I,” Merlin said softly . He stared down at his hands, wondering why the hell he was having this conversation. Arthur didn’ t speak for long moments. Merlin didn’ t look up, busy toying with the loose threads on the hem of his shirt. An unsteady huf f of breath and a soft thump later , Arthur said, “It’ s none of my business.” Merlin peeked up through his lashes to find Arthur slumped against the wall, his arms folded tightly in front of his chest, his eyes downcast. “No, it’ s not,” Merlin agreed. Sounding defeated, Arthur said, “But what were you going to say?” Merlin closed his eyes. Helpless to resist, he swayed closer , close enough their arms could almost brush. “It doesn’ t matter , does it?” Arthur sighed, and he dropped his forehead to Merlin’ s shoulder . “Tell me anyways?” he pleaded. “Lance and I never dated.” Explanation owed or not, Merlin had dragged Arthur over here with the intent of coming clean. “But Gwaine wasn’ t wrong. We’ve fallen into bed together a few times over the years. We’re better of f as friends though.” “Right. Friends,” Arthur said flatly . His head snapped up, eyes blazing. “Do you jump into bed with all your friends, Merlin?” Surprised at the vehemence in Arthur ’s tone, Merlin jerked backward. “What – no!” he spluttered. Suddenly , it dawned on Merlin why Arthur might be angry . Horrified, he hastily added, “Arthur , listen, Gwen and I never – “ Arthur sneered, cutting him of f. Like throwing down a gauntlet, Arthur challenged, “W ould you sleep with me, Merlin?” Merlin’ s words died in his throat. “What?” Arthur ’s eyes widened. His jaw snapped shut and all the fight bled out of him. “I-I’m sorry ,” he stammered. “I don’ t know what’ s got into me. That was massively unfair , please for give me.” As Merlin’ s brain caught up with the conversation, it was as if a dam broke loose. “Why do you care?” Arthur froze. Emboldened, Merlin took a step closer , crowding into Arthur ’s space. Arthur ’s eyes snapped to his, and the desire swirling in those depths set Merlin’ s heart hammering. Cautiously , Merlin brushed a lock of hair of f Arthur ’s forehead. Before he could pull back, Arthur caught his hand, his touch a searing burn that sent fire racing up Merlin’ s veins. Arthur ’s eyelids fluttered shut, and his face dipped closer . Merlin felt as though he were rooted to the floor . Just a breath separated them, if one of them bridged that final distance. But that distance yawned as wide as a chasm. Drawing in a shuddering breath, Merlin rasped, “Gwen.” Arthur ’s eyes flew open as Merlin extricated his hand from Arthur ’s grip and stepped back. “I just wanted you to know ,” Merlin murmured to Arthur ’s stricken face. Then he fled, making his escape out the door , shouting to Lance that he would meet him at home. Merlin was sat on the couch, his face buried in his hands, when Lance joined him. He laid a comforting hand on Merlin’ s shoulder . “You’re in love with Arthur .” “You’re in love with Gwen.” Neither of them confirmed or denied it. It was superfluous, the truth was obvious enough. Merlin sighed and tried to smother himself with a cushion. “I almost kissed Arthur tonight.” “Merlin!” Lance said, sounding appalled. Merlin shot him a dirty look and threw the cushion at him. “Don’ t sound all high and mighty . As if you wouldn’ t kiss Gwen if she asked.” “Are you saying Arthur asked?” Wincing, Merlin didn’ t answer . “I also told him that we’d hooked up a few times.” Lance didn’ t press, simply tossed the cushion back to Merlin. “Yeah,” he sighed. “I told Gwen too.” “Why did it feel like we owed them an explanation?” “I wish I knew , Merlin.” -- For a few days, the dynamic between the four of them remained stilted. For once, they behaved more like a couple and two close friends, with Arthur and Gwen paying more attention to each other than to Merlin and Lance. It didn’ t last long. Before the week was out, they fell back into old patterns, as if nothing had changed. It drove Merlin a little bit crazy , but he would take it over the heart-rending guilt of nearly kissing his best friend’ s boyfriend. Most days, it was almost easy to for get that Arthur and Gwen were a couple. But they were. And couples did tend to do couple-y things once in a while, even ones as odd as Arthur and Gwen. Merlin had texted Gwen, asking if she wanted him to bring over takeaway for dinner . He received a flustered text in response informing him that it was Gwen and Arthur ’s anniversary , so they actually had dinner reservations, just the two of them. Gwen was very apologetic they’d for gotten to tell Merlin and Lance, but they would see them tomorrow for brunch? Merlin blinked down at his phone, unexpectedly hurt at the revelation. He fired of f a response full of exclamation points and smiling emojis that reflected none of the conflict in his head. When Lance returned home after work, a bag of takeaway in hand, Merlin had a bottle of wine waiting. “Finally ,” Merlin groaned, pouring out two glasses of wine and taking a long swig. “I thought it was too pathetic to drink alone.” Lance winced in sympathy . “I hope we have more than just the one bottle.” Another swig. Merlin flapped a hand at the cabinet. “We’re well stocked.” They drank in silence, picking at the curry Lance had brought home. As Merlin was pouring his third glass, he muttered, “What the hell are we doing?” “Drinking,” Lance said solemnly . He held out his glass for a refill, nodding approvingly when Merlin emptied the bottle. Merlin kicked Lance’ s ankle. “No, we’re being idiots,” he declared. “Pining after people in a happy relationship.” “It’s their seven-year anniversary , isn’ t it? God, seven years.” “Seven years,” Merlin echoed, nodding miserably . “Are we terrible people for wanting them to break up?” “Probably ,” Lance sighed. “God, Lance, they’re our friends . How could we?” Wobbling to his feet, Lance grabbed a second bottle of wine and thrust it at Merlin. “More drinking and less thinking.” Merlin was in whole-hearted agreement. Another bottle of wine later , Merlin and Lance sprawled on the couch together , each using one plush armrest as a pillow . “Do you know how much easier my life would be if I was into Gwaine?” Merlin lamented. Lance hiccuped a laugh. “That’ s how I know you’re drunk. Your life would be hell. The only thing Gwaine can commit to is a drink.” “Fine. But he could just break my heart, and I’d get over him.” “Merlin, my friend. You’ve never been good at getting over anyone. Case in point.” “This is all hypothetical, can’ t you just give me this?” Merlin whined. “Sure, Merlin. Gwaine would be your perfect match,” Lance said obediently , hiding a smirk behind his hand. Merlin sat up and scowled. “Now you’re just insulting me.” Lance pressed his lips together , blinking innocently . Sighing, Merlin swung his legs down and flopped back against the cushions. “What would really make our lives easier is if we were in love with each other ,” he said mournfully . “No need to make that sound like a death sentence,” Lance grumbled. “But you’re right.” “Yeah,” Merlin murmured. “It was good the couple times we hooked up, wasn’ t it?” Lance propped himself up on his elbows and shot Merlin a fond smile. “It was great,” he agreed. Merlin smiled back, his gaze skimming down Lance’ s form. Slowly , he shifted onto his knees on the couch and bent over with hands on either side of Lance’ s hips. Peering up hesitantly , Merlin whispered, “It could be good now too.” Surprise flickered in Lance’ s eyes. He reached out a hand to cup Merlin’ s cheek, thumb skating over Merlin’ s lips. Lance’ s breath hitched when Merlin’ s lips parted for him - a question. “Yeah,” he breathed, lurching forward to capture Merlin’ s lips with his own. They lost themselves in each other right there on the couch, with Lance fucking Merlin half- bent over the armrest. It was more comfort than lust, each of them seeing another ’s face, trying not call another ’s name. But it was enough. For one night, it was enough. Too exhausted to drag themselves of f to bed afterwards, Merlin tugged the throw blanket over them, and they snuggled together to drift of f to sleep. The next morning, Merlin jolted awake at a loud gasp. Cracking an eye open, Merlin lifted his head of f Lance’ s chest and squinted around the room. Gwen stood in the doorway , one hand on the doorknob, the other covering her mouth. “Gwen – “ Merlin reached out a hand toward her , and the movement made the blanket flop down, revealing his bare chest underneath. Gwen’ s breath hitched on a sob. She turned and fled. The door slammed, and Lance stirred. “Merlin?” he mumbled blearily . Merlin slapped a hand over his face. Shit. -- “Gwen?” Arthur asked, alarmed when Gwen pelted into the penthouse. Gwen collapsed against the door , sucking in heaving breaths. Her eyes were wide and hurt, and they stared through Arthur . In a few quick strides, Arthur was at her side. He took hold of one of Gwen’ s arms and shook her lightly . “Gwen, are you all right?” All at once, Gwen seemed to shake herself out of it. Sending Arthur a bright, brittle smile, Gwen said, “I’m fine, Arthur .” Arthur wasn’ t buying it. “Guinevere,” he repeated sternly . “Please tell me. Has someone hurt you? I thought you were just going to Merlin and Lance’ s?” Gwen’ s bright façade cracked. “No one’ s hurt me. They’re not coming to brunch,” she whispered. “All right? We’ll just see them tonight then.” Gwen shook her head frantically . “No! We’re not seeing them until the party ,” she snapped. Arthur was so confused. “Our New Y ear’s Eve party tomorrow night, you mean?” “What other party is there, Arthur?” Gwen’ s voice cracked like a whip. Holding his hands up in surrender , Arthur backed away . “Whatever you want, Gwen.” After a quiet day and an awkwardly stilted dinner , Arthur finally wheedled the information out of her . A hundred emotions rushed through him all at once. He wanted to march downstairs and punch Lance in the face. He wanted to scream and cry . He wanted to demand answers from Merlin. Merlin told Arthur that he and Lance were just friends. Had that been a lie? Internally , Arthur laughed at his own hypocrisy . Merlin owed him no answers. He hadn’ t last time, and he didn’ t this time. Arthur had known for a long time he felt things for Merlin that were extremely inappropriate toward his girlfriend’ s best friend. Now , he was forced to face it. He was jealous. Arthur wholeheartedly agreed with Gwen’ s decision. They would not be seeing Merlin and Lance until they had to at the party . Honestly , Arthur had no idea how to face Merlin, but he had no choice but to put on a happy face when Merlin and Lance showed up at the door on New Y ear’s Eve, Gwaine in tow . Gwaine paid no mind to the tension, clapping Arthur on the shoulder and bounding past him toward the booze. Dawdling at the threshold, Merlin held out a plate of cookies like a peace of fering. Lance hovered at his shoulder , half-hiding, half peering guiltily inside. Playing the gracious host, Arthur accepted the cookies with a tight smile. “Please, come in.” Relief washed over Merlin’ s features. Sulkily , Arthur wondered what Merlin thought he was going to do. Bar him from the party? Merlin perched on the couch, flushed and fidgety as he talked to Lance and Gwaine. Arthur pretended he was busy with the cookies, slowly unwrapping the cling wrap and fiddling with it, smoothing out creases unnecessarily before tossing it away . He was being unfair . Sighing, Arthur squared his shoulders and went to join the conversation. To his surprise, the night went better than he’d expected. Gwaine’ s constant stream of chatter worked wonders. He even managed to get them all laughing together . As more guests trickled in, Arthur could breathe easier . Rarely was he stuck in a one-on-one conversation with Merlin, and he could survive being in the same room as the object-of-his- affections-who-had-just-fucked-someone-else for one night. As parties went, Arthur thought he and Gwen did a fairly good job. The drinks were flowing, their guests were laughing, and the cheery atmosphere never faltered. By the time the midnight countdown started, everyone was sloshed. Grins adorned every face as they shouted out the countdown. “Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!” Slinging an arm over Gwen’ s shoulders, Arthur glanced around, grinning fondly at Gwaine dramatically conducting the chant. “Six! Five! Four!” Merlin waved his champagne flute in the air , toasting to something invisible with a flourish that had Lance doubling over in laughter . “Three! Two! One!” Arthur swooped down and caught Gwen’ s lips with his own. He pulled away just in time to catch Leon dipping Mor gana in showy kiss. Wrinkling his nose, Arthur turned away , only for his stomach to drop to his feet. Merlin twirled his champagne flute between his fingers, muttering something that had Lance nodding thoughtfully . With a shrug, Merlin leaned in and planted a sloppy kiss on Lance’ s cheek. Beside him, Arthur felt Gwen stif fen. Lance and Merlin clinked glasses and continued to chat as if nothing had happened. Their relationship status clearly hadn’ t changed. Arthur glanced at Gwen and followed her gaze to Lance’ s face. Reflected in her eyes was the same barely concealed hurt in Arthur ’s heart. God, they were complete idiots. After the party wound down, Arthur and Gwen were getting ready for bed when Arthur broached the conversation. It was long overdue. “This isn’ t working anymore, is it?” Arthur asked softly . Skirt halfway down her thighs, Gwen froze. She glanced at Arthur , her gaze skimming up his bare chest and up to his face. Smiling sadly , she shook her head. “I don’ t think so.” “I’ll always love you, Gwen.” Gwen tugged on her sleep shirt and padded over to Arthur . Wrapping her arms around his waist, she leaned close and rested her forehead against Arthur ’s shoulder . Even as she pressed her cold fingers into Arthur ’s skin for warmth, a habit born of long years of familiarity , she murmured, “Me too. But I think we’re better of f as friends.” Later , curled under the covers in the darkness, Arthur said, “Lance is besotted with you, you know .” Gwen didn’ t miss a beat. “Merlin is arse over tea kettle for you, you know .” Laughter bubbled out of Arthur , uncontrollable and unstoppable. Moments later , Gwen’ s giggles joined his, and soon, they were both howling. Slowly , their laughter faded back into companionable silence. “I wonder if this could’ve been enough,” Arthur murmured, half to himself. The covers rustled, and Gwen’ s hand touched his arm. “Not after meeting them. We would always want more.” Arthur tucked an arm under his head and stared up at the blank ceiling. Merlin’ s smiling face swam before his eyes, and unbidden, an answering smile crept its way across Arthur ’s lips. -- Arthur woke alone in bed. A text from Gwen awaited him, telling him she was meeting Lance for brunch. Smiling fondly , he texted her back with a quick ’Good luck.' He’d always admired Gwen’ s determination, and he was strangely proud it extended to this. After a few deep breaths, Arthur fired of f another text. To Merlin. ’Can I see you?’ The response was near instantaneous. ’I’ll be up in fifteen.’ Arthur bolted out of bed. He spent a good five minutes internally panicking, running through ideas of what he would say or do. Then he spent the next ten minutes brushing his teeth, fiddling with his hair , and finding an acceptable shirt and pair of trousers to wear . By the time a knock came at the door , Arthur had worked himself into a frenzy , half-formed confessions of love on the tip of his tongue. Any words he planned flew out of his head the moment he opened the door . Merlin looked positively adorable. He was still in his pyjamas, with an oversized hoodie thrown over his shirt. He looked sleep-soft and cuddly , and Arthur longed to run his fingers through his mop of tousled hair . In a daze, Arthur stepped aside to let Merlin pass, and the door fell shut with a quiet thump. Merlin waved a floppy sleeve. “Hi.” That hopeful smile was Arthur ’s undoing. Desire buzzed under his skin, the need to touch overwhelming in its intensity . In one long stride, Arthur covered the distance between them. Surrendering to his longing at last, Arthur reached across the chasm between them, one hand tangling in Merlin’ s hair , the other caressing his hip. Startled, Merlin managed to squeak “Arthur?” before Arthur ’s lips crashed against his. For one heart stopping moment, Merlin froze. Arthur ’s hand slid down to cradle the back of his neck, and Merlin melted against him. Relief sang through Arthur ’s veins, a chant of “YesMerlinY es” on loop in his mind. Merlin kissed back like his life depended on it, and Arthur drank it all in, desperate for anything Merlin would give. A sharp gasp spilled from Merlin’ s lips, and he wrenched himself free. Breath gone ragged, he rasped, “ Gwen. ” Trembling hands rose to Arthur ’s chest, then Merlin hesitated. His fingers trailed across Arthur ’s skin in a fleeting caress before he shoved Arthur away . Arthur staggered and fell back against the door . “Merlin, wait – “ Merlin drew himself up to his full height, eyes snapping with hurt fury . He jabbed a finger at Arthur , all righteous indignation. “Don’ t you dare.” The venom in Merlin’ s voice surprised Arthur , and he stuttered to a stop, wide-eyed. “Is this some game you’re playing?” Merlin practically snarled. “Is this because I slept with Lance? I know you know , Arthur .” “No – “ “I don’ t even want to hear it!” Merlin snapped. “I don’ t care who you are, Arthur Pendragon. You don’ t get to do this to me, and you do not get to do this to Gwen!” Merlin spun in a circle, clearly looking for an exit, but his frustrated gaze returned to Arthur , who was frozen in place blocking the door . “Gwen and I broke up!” Arthur shouted. Merlin made a strangled sound in his throat. “What?” he asked weakly . Tentatively , Arthur reached out a hand and touched Merlin’ s arm. Encouraged when he wasn’ t shaken of f, Arthur wrapped his fingers around Merlin’ s wrist, rubbing his thumb soothingly over where he could feel Merlin’ s pulse racing. “Gwen and I broke up last night,” Arthur repeated softly . Merlin looked lost. “Because of me?” “Only a bit,” Arthur admitted, of fering a crooked smile. At Merlin’ s stricken face, Arthur hastily added, “But mostly because we’re better of f as friends. It took her and I falling in love with you and Lance to figure it out.” “Oh.” “’Oh’? That’ s it?” A wobbly smile crept over Merlin’ s face. “Oh,” he repeated. With a twist of his wrist, Merlin tangled his and Arthur ’s fingers. Eyes gone soft and wide with wonder , he stared down at their entwined hands, his thumb brushing across Arthur ’s skin. A breathless laugh tore out of Arthur ’s throat. Merlin’ s touch, featherlight and tender , had him aching for more. “Have I rendered you speechless at last?” Merlin scof fed, but his smile lit up his face when he looked at Arthur . “You’re in love with me?” Arthur ’s fingers tightened around Merlin’ s. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Have been for a while now I think.” “And Gwen?” Merlin asked softly . Chuckling, Arthur said, “I don’ t think you have to worry about Gwen. Looking back on it, she was half in love with Lance the first day they met.” Merlin’ s lips twisted in a wry smile. “Lance was the same.” Arthur gave Merlin’ s hand an experimental tug and grinned when Merlin went willingly . He pulled Merlin close until there was barely a breath of space between them. Cupping Merlin’ s jaw, Arthur ran his thumb across Merlin’ s bottom lip, delighting in the tiny hitch in Merlin’ s breath. “I can’ t say I was much better ,” Arthur whispered. “Couldn’ t stop thinking about you ever since I first laid eyes on you.” “You acted like you hated me!” Arthur smirked. “What is it they say? Love and hate are two sides of the same coin?” Rolling his eyes, Merlin heaved a put upon sigh. “I don’ t know what I did to deserve falling in love with such a prat.” Arthur sucked in a sharp breath. “But have you?” “Have I what?” “Fallen in love with me,” Arthur breathed. Merlin’ s expression went soft, all pretense of teasing gone. “Do you even need to ask?” Gently , he took hold of Arthur ’s hand on his cheek and brought it to his lips. “Yes.” -- Six Months Later “Arthur!” Merlin yelled, kicking at the door to the penthouse. “The door closed again!” Hurried footsteps were accompanied by Arthur ’s muf fled shout. “Coming!” Merlin huf fed impatiently and hefted the box in his arms to adjust his grip. The door flew open, a sheepish Arthur on the other side. “Sorry , I for got you went down for one more box.” A fond smile crept across Merlin’ s face. He staggered inside and dropped the box on top of one of many stacks in the living room. Moving was such a nightmare, even when it was only up a few flights of stairs. He leaned heavily against the couch, trying to catch his breath. Arthur wrapped an arm around his waist, and Merlin slumped against him gratefully . “You’re forgiven,” Merlin said cheekily . Arthur snorted and rolled his eyes, but Merlin wasn’ t fooled. There was no hiding the soppy , adoring look in Arthur ’s eyes, especially not when he followed it up with a quick press of lips to Merlin’ s temple. “You two are adorable,” came Gwen’ s amused voice. Blushing, Merlin peered around Arthur . Gwen stood in the hallway with her hands on her hips, an indulgent smile on her face. Just behind her , Lance was backing out of the bedroom, laden with an armful of bags. “Look who’ s talking,” Merlin shot back, raising an eyebrow and shooting a pointed look behind her . Gwen glanced over her shoulder . She of fered a bright smile and exchanged a few quiet words with Lance. Merlin watched, amused, as Gwen tried to tug a few of the bags away while Lance stubbornly held on. After a brief tug of war , Gwen emer ged triumphant, a bag looped over either arm. Arthur huf fed a quiet laugh and whispered in Merlin’ s ear, “Lance is hopelessly besotted.” “Look who’ s talking,” Merlin repeated, smirking. Arthur bumped Merlin’ s cheek with his nose in punishment. “It’s your fault,” he said, as if that explained everything. “Oh?” Merlin peered at Arthur out of the corner of his eye, a coy smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I suppose I can accept that.” Arthur turned back to Gwen, who was taking one last lap around the penthouse. “Got everything, Gwen?” “I think so,” she replied, spinning slowly in a circle. She shot Arthur a soft smile. “It’s not like I’ll be far if I’ve for gotten anything.” “It’s not like you had much to move,” Lance piped up. “You’ve been moving your things into mine and Merlin’ s flat for months now .” “Better get used to calling it our flat instead of yours and Merlin’ s,” Gwen teased. “How about we just call it home?” Gwen’ s face lit up, and she flung her arms around Lance’ s neck. “Home. Sounds perfect.” “Adorable,” Merlin declared. Gwen tipped her head back and stuck her tongue out at Merlin. Merlin grinned, disentangled himself from Arthur , and strode across the room to take Gwen’ s arm. He tugged her away from Lance and enveloped her in a hug. As if sensing this was a moment just for the two of them, Lance and Arthur wandered away , and Arthur of fered to help Lance carry the bags down to his and Gwen’ s flat. Watching over Gwen’ s shoulder , Merlin smiled softly at their retreating backs. He squeezed Gwen tightly , and Gwen held on just as tight. “Who would’ve thought this is how our lives would turn out?” Merlin mused. Gwen laughed into Merlin’ s shoulder . “If you asked me two years ago where I thought I would be now , I would probably have said engaged to Arthur .” Slowly , Merlin pulled away and caught Gwen’ s eye. In a serious voice, he asked, “Gwen, are you really happy? Is this everything you wanted?” Taking Merlin by the shoulders, Gwen shook him lightly . “Stop worrying. No more feeling guilty . Merlin, I’m so very happy . Lance is everything I ever wanted and more.” Merlin wrapped Gwen in another hug. “Good,” he said fiercely . “You deserve it.” When they parted, Gwen took Merlin’ s hands in her own. “And you?” “I’m deliriously happy ,” Merlin said, unable to help the grin spreading across his face. “I can tell,” Gwen said, beaming. “You and Lance moving in here was the best thing that happened to both of us.” “Ready?” Lance called from the doorway . Gwen squeezed Merlin’ s hands once more, then released him and bounded out the door . “Ready!” She hugged Arthur , whispered something in his ear , and disappeared around the corner . Arthur stepped back inside the penthouse, shutting the door behind him. A wide smile on his face, he met Merlin halfway across the room with a slow , deliberate kiss. “What did Gwen say to you?” Arthur chuckled, wrapping his arms around Merlin. “She told me you’re the best thing that will ever happen to me, and to hold on tight.” Merlin threw back his head in laughter . He turned in Arthur ’s arms so his back was to Arthur ’s front, surveying his new home. Their home. “Smart woman, Gwen is.” “That she is,” Arthur said. “But funnily enough, I’d worked that one out all on my own. I never plan on letting you go.” Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Rating: Mature Archive W arning: No Archive W arnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV) Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Lancelot (Merlin) Additional T ags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Modern Era, Mutual Pining, Getting T ogether, Friends to Lovers, Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), no infidelity, Minor Lancelot/Merlin (Merlin), Endgame Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Endgame Gwen/Lancelot Language: English Series: Part 3 of Merlin Bingo 2023 Collections: Merlin Bingo Stats: Published: 2023-09-26 Words: 17, 592 Chapters: 1/1 How Fickle My Heart by Seravia Summary When Merlin moves back to London, he’ s delighted to be living just a few floors down from his childhood best friend, Gwen, and her boyfriend, Arthur . Merlin intends to befriend Arthur, but instead finds himself falling for him. Worse, the feeling might be mutual. Notes Fill for Merlin Bingo 2023 - Square G1 - Modern Era “Arthur!” Arthur jumped, the book in his lap tipping toward the floor . He flailed to catch it, and in the process, nearly rolled of f the couch. In the living room doorway stood his girlfriend, Gwen, grinning madly and waving her phone in the air . “Good phone call then, was it?” Arthur asked. Setting his book aside, he pulled his legs up to make room on the couch. Gwen nodded vigorously and practically skipped across the room to plop down next to him. “That was Merlin! You remember, don’ t you? My best friend from Ealdor?” “Of course, I remember, Gwen, ” Arthur reassured. “You talk about him all the time.” Gwen’ s smile turned wistful. “He and I used to be inseparable before uni. Or college, I guess he would call it.” America. That was where Merlin had gone, Arthur remembered. While Gwen had stayed local for uni, Merlin had chosen to go to America, and he’d been there ever since. “Everything all right with him?” “Brilliant, actually, ” she said, face lighting up. “He called to tell me he’ s moving back in a few weeks. To London. He’s even got a job at Albion Labs, so he’ll be really close by .” Arthur shifted closer so he could wrap an arm around Gwen’ s shoulders. He dropped a kiss on top of her hair and said, “That’ s lovely .” “Yeah, it is. God, it’ s been years since I last saw him. You’ll love him, Arthur .” Arthur nodded along supportively . “I’m sure I will, Gwen.” If only either of them knew just how right Gwen would be. -- “Are you ready?” Gwen called. She stood in the entryway, tapping her foot impatiently while waiting for Arthur to emer ge. Bleary-eyed, Arthur stumbled into the living room. He’d rushed through getting dressed, pulling on whatever he could get his hands on the quickest. Gwen had been waiting for him for twenty minutes and counting. “Yeah, yeah, I’m ready, ” he grumbled. Stifling a yawn, he staggered toward the door, plucking his jacket of f the back of a chair as he went. He counted it a success to have avoided falling on his face, but he was so tired it took him three tries to get his arm in the correct sleeve. Gwen spared all of five seconds fussing over him before herding him out of the flat and into their car, chattering excitedly about seeing Merlin again. Arthur slid into the passenger side seat. Pouting, he muttered, “Who books a flight that gets in this early on a Saturday?” With an exasperated look, Gwen slid the key into the ignition. “It’s the cheapest flight he could get and still be here in time for starting his new job on Monday . Besides, it was Friday night in America when he boarded, it was smart to fly overnight.” “I know, I know, ” Arthur sighed, tipping his head back and shutting his eyes. “I just didn’ t get much sleep last night, was working pretty late.” Gwen made a sympathetic noise. “When did you get to bed? I didn’ t even wake up.” Soothing fingers carded through Arthur ’s hair . He hummed contentedly, mumbling, “Not until two in the morning.” “Take a nap while I drive to the airport, ” Gwen said. She pressed a kiss to Arthur ’s cheek and teased, “Y ou’re driving home, I promise I can handle not crashing the car .” “I may take you up on that, ” Arthur said drowsily . He didn’ t actually plan to fall asleep, but with the car ’s gentle rumbling and Gwen’ s humming in the background, Arthur drifted of f. The next thing he knew, Gwen was shaking his shoulder and calling his name. “Wake up, Arthur . We’re at Heathrow, we have to go meet Merlin in Arrivals.” Half in a daze, Arthur clambered out of the car . The fresh air helped clear his head, but Arthur had to slap his own cheek to shake the sleep of f. He trailed after Gwen, grateful when she tucked an arm through his to steer them in the right direction. Inside the airport, Arthur scanned the crowd, not entirely sure what he was looking for . He’d never met Merlin, only seen pictures. But even the most recent pictures were a decade old, taken when Merlin and Gwen were in sixth form. From what Arthur remembered, Merlin was scrawny and pale, all awkward gangly limbs too long for the rest of his body . Gwen was bouncing on her toes beside him, craning her neck to see past the throng of people. With an excited cry, she darted into the crowd. Damn, Gwen was fast. She slipped through the crowd easily, while Arthur struggled to follow, unsuccessfully trying to avoid colliding with anyone. By the time Arthur caught up, Gwen was already embracing a tall, dark-haired man - Merlin, he presumed. Not wanting to intrude, Arthur hung back, hands shoved in his pockets. When Gwen pulled away, she tugged Merlin around to face Arthur, and Arthur felt as if the breath had been knocked out of him. The Merlin that stood before him was a far cry from the awkward boy in those old photos. Merlin was gor geous, and he carried himself with a quiet confidence. Still tall and pale, his long limbs were now more graceful than awkward. Gone was the scrawny teenager, and in his place was a lean, attractive man with a disarming smile, directed straight at Arthur . “Arthur! This is Merlin, ” Arthur dimly registered Gwen saying. Merlin extended his hand. His voice was deep and warm when he said, “Hello, Arthur . It’s nice to meet the man who stole Gwen’ s heart.” Arthur ’s heart stuttered in his chest – at Merlin’ s smile or at the reminder he was dating Gwen, he wasn’ t sure. He stared uncomprehendingly at Merlin for a few moments, then shifted his gaze to Merlin’ s outstretched hand. Merlin wavered, and Arthur chanced a look at Merlin’ s face where his grin was quickly fading into an uncertain frown. A flush crept up Arthur ’s neck, and he cleared his throat. “Hello, Merlin, ” he said gruf fly, gripping the prof fered hand in a firm shake. He could feel Gwen’ s eyes on him, but deliberately did not turn to meet her gaze. “Thank you both for coming to pick me up.” Merlin smiled gratefully at Gwen and Arthur in turn. “It’s been so long since I’ve been back, and I never spent much time in London to begin with. I really appreciate you taking time out of your weekend for me.” “Nonsense, ” Gwen said, tucking a hand at Merlin’ s elbow and ushering him toward the exit. “You’ve been my best friend since primary school, don’ t be a stranger . You’ve got me to take care of you, and now Arthur as well.” The three of them wound their way out of Heathrow, Merlin dragging one suitcase, and Arthur dragging a second while Merlin’ s other arm was occupied by Gwen. Merlin had tried to protest, but Gwen waved him of f, pressing the handle of the second suitcase into Arthur ’s hand. With an apologetic smile tossed over his shoulder, Merlin was led away . Arthur trailed along behind them, listening to Gwen and Merlin quietly laugh and reminisce about their childhood in Ealdor . At the car, Arthur fumbled for the keys to unlock the trunk. Merlin refused to let Arthur help him, insisting on lifting his suitcases himself to slot them neatly into the car . Muscles rippled lightly in Merlin’ s toned arms, and Arthur ’s mouth went dry at the sight. Mentally kicking himself, Arthur tore his eyes away . What was he doing? He and Gwen had been together for six years now . They met through his sister, Mor gana, who had gone to uni with Gwen. She’d introduced them once they all moved to London, and the rest had been history . Sure, Arthur had dated his share of blokes back in uni, but those days were long gone. Gwen, Arthur told himself firmly as he slid into the drivers’ seat. Gwen, he repeated in his head, casting a glance at his beautiful girlfriend beside him. He kept quiet most of the car ride, only chiming in with the appropriate noises to show he was listening. He only caught snippets of the conversation - it was hard enough keeping his focus on the road and not on Merlin’ s bright smile and impossibly blue eyes. “How is Elyan?” Merlin asked. In the rearview mirror, Arthur watched Merlin lean forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He tilted his head, absentmindedly rubbing at the thin layer of stubble on the underside of his chin. Arthur ’s eyes were helplessly drawn to the long line of Merlin’ s neck as his shirt collar fell away from his chest, giving Arthur a tantalizing peek down. It took more willpower than Arthur was willing to admit to tear his eyes away . Tipping her head back to look at Merlin, Gwen smiled fondly . “Elyan is good. He’s in London too. You might not even recognize him, he was still going through puberty when we left for uni. He’s a proper grown man now!” “You’re telling me, ” Merlin said. Chuckling, he shook his head in mock horror . “I’ve seen the pictures on Facebook, makes me feel old to remember that’ s the little kid who used to run around after us on the playground.” Gwen’ s smile turned teasing, and a mischievous twinkle entered her eye. “You’re one to talk. Between the three of us, you’re the one who’ s changed the most! What happened to the awkward git who used to trip over his own feet in the school hallways?” Flushing, Merlin ducked his head and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Still as clumsy as ever, I’m afraid. But eleven years is more than enough time to grow into your own body ." Gwen twisted around and flailed at Merlin, but the seat belt locked her in place, her hand falling just short of Merlin’ s shoulder . “Don’ t play coy, I’m not blind, ” Gwen mock scolded. “You’re gor geous, Merlin! You must have men and women falling all over themselves for you. I’m telling you, if you weren’ t like a brother to me…” Merlin’ s eyes darted down and away, embarrassed. Interesting. “You shouldn’ t joke, you might make Arthur jealous, ” Merlin said lightly . “I’m not jealous, ” Arthur said automatically . Merlin gave a tiny cough, then shot Arthur a sheepish smile. “Of course not.” “But not because Gwen’ s wrong, ” Arthur blurted out, suddenly not wanting Merlin to get the wrong idea. “Because she’ s right – about you being gor geous, I mean.” Merlin’ s expression was stunned, and Gwen’ s triumphant. Arthur lapsed back into silence, cheeks burning. “Even Arthur agrees! And trust me, he has high standards, ” Gwen said with a wink. “R-Right, ” Merlin stammered, an unreadable look in his eyes when he met Arthur ’s gaze in the rearview mirror . Arthur cursed internally . What was wrong with him today? He was usually a very composed person, not one to get tongue-tied over a pretty face. “So, the flat, ” Merlin said, clearing his throat, eyes sliding away from Arthur ’s. “Thank you for helping me find one, I had no idea where to even start. How did you manage to find one in my price range just a few floors below yours?” It was Gwen’ s turn to blush and look away . “Well, it wasn’ t hard actually, ” she admitted, toying shyly with a curl of hair . “Arthur owns the building. And that flat had been sitting vacant for about a month now .” Merlin’ s mouth dropped open. “Arthur owns the building?” “He does. One of many actually . His family is quite a big name in real estate.” “Guinevere Thomas, you gold digger!” Merlin chortled, a wicked grin on his lips. Gwen flushed bright red and strained against her seat belt to smack Merlin on the arm. “Don’ t joke, you know I would never!” “I know, I know, ” Merlin reassured. He was still snickering, but he held up his hands in a gesture of peace. “Life’ s funny sometimes, isn’ t it? We never had much growing up – Ealdor wasn’ t that kind of place anyways – but here you are, joined at the hip with Mr . Rich Bloke.” Melancholy filled Gwen’ s expression. Her eyes were fixed on her seat belt as she untangled herself and settled back properly into her seat. “Life is funny, ” Gwen said softly . “I miss those days sometimes.” Laughter petering out, Merlin’ s face twisted in sympathy . He laid a hand on Gwen’ s arm and said, “I’m an idiot, I shouldn’ t have said that. How long’ s it been since you’ve been back to Ealdor?” Gwen shook her head and covered Merlin’ s hand with her own. “Years, ” she sighed. “Not since before my dad passed. Wasn’t much point in going back afterward.” “It hasn’ t changed much, ” Merlin murmured. “It’s home, but I wouldn’ t go back either if it weren’ t for my mum and Uncle Gaius. I’m so sorry about your dad, Gwen. I’m sorry I wasn’ t here.” “No, Merlin, don’ t apologize. I had Elyan and Arthur, and time heals all wounds. Still sneaks up on me once in a while though. It’s probably seeing you for the first time in all these years. Dredges up all those childhood memories, you know?” “I know the feeling, ” Merlin agreed. His eyes crinkled into a smile, full of warmth and affection. “It’s a good thing I’m sticking around so we’ll make some new memories then.” “I’ve missed you, Merlin. I’m glad to have you back.” “I’ve missed you too, Gwen.” -- When they arrived home, after Arthur helped Merlin carry the suitcases upstairs, no amount of insistence from Gwen would get Merlin to budge on letting them help him settle in. He waved them of f, telling them he wouldn’ t be taking up any more of their weekend, and practically shoved them out the door . But not before Gwen managed to extract from Merlin a promise that he would swing by the following Saturday to meet their friends. Gwen popped in on Merlin a few times throughout the week, bringing him all manner of food, from pasta to cookies, to ensure he was doing all right. But Arthur didn’ t see Merlin again until he opened his front door to him on Saturday . “Hi, ” Merlin said with a small wave. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders hunched, and he peered up at Arthur through his lashes nervously . Arthur swallowed hard. Something about the way Merlin looked at him stole all the breath from his lungs. “Hi, Merlin. Come in, ” he said hoarsely . Merlin stepped inside, toed of f his shoes, and promptly jumped at the five pairs of eyes that swiveled to him. “He-Hello, ” Merlin stammered. “Am I late?” Gwen had been perched on a couch armrest, but when she saw Merlin, she sprang to her feet and bounded over, linking their arms and presenting him with a flourish. “Not late at all, you’re our guest of honor, ” Gwen declared, beaming. “Everyone, this is Merlin.” There was a chorus of variations of “Hi, Merlin, ” accompanied by a wolf whistle that had Arthur rolling his eyes. “Merlin, these are mine and Arthur ’s friends, ” Gwen said. She pointed at each person as she introduced them. “This is Leon, Gwaine, and Mor gana. And you know Elyan, of course.” A broad smile on his face, Elyan strode over, and Merlin pulled him into a hug. “It’s good to see you, Elyan. Not to sound like your grandmother, but god, you’ve grown up so much, ” Merlin said, shaking his head in wonder as he looked Elyan up and down. Elyan laughed and clapped Merlin on the back. “It’s good to see you too, Merlin. Welcome back.” “Thanks, mate. Guess I’ve got to stop thinking of you as Gwen’ s little brother!” Wrinkling his nose, Elyan darted a glance at Gwen, who looked back with a raised eyebrow . “Pretty sure I’ll always be that, especially to you. But I’ve learned that’ s not so bad over the years.” “That’ s because you have a fantastic sister, ” Gwen snif fed. She tried to look stern, but in no time at all, the corners of her lips quirked up into a smile. “Couldn’ t ask for a better one. Right, Elyan?” Merlin slung an arm over Gwen’ s shoulders and shared a smirk with Elyan that quickly transformed into a frown. “But what did you mean by ‘guest of honor ’?” Gwen tried to duck away, but Merlin held fast, an accusing glare pinned on Gwen. “This might have been meant to be a ‘welcome home’ party, ” she admitted. “Gwen! Your friends don’ t even know me!” “They do now!” A laugh bubbled out of Merlin. “Only you, Gwen, ” he said, bumping the side of her head with his own. “Only you would throw a welcome home party and invite people who have never met the guest of honor . That’ s why I love you.” Quiet chuckles rippled through the room, and Gwen smiled sheepishly . She tugged Merlin toward the rest of her friends and leaned in close to whisper, “They’ll love you Merlin, I promise.” -- Merlin didn’ t know why he doubted Gwen. She was right, of course, he got along swimmingly with her friends once the initial shock wore of f. He hit it of f with Gwaine right away . Gwaine was Arthur ’s friend from uni - warm and flirtatious, with no filter . In their first conversation, Merlin had to gently turn down Gwaine’ s advances. To his relief, Gwaine shrugged it of f, then slung an arm around Merlin’ s shoulders and declared they would be fast friends. Morgana - Arthur ’s sister - had been slightly intimidating. The nervousness faded as soon as she’d smirked and tossed out a biting but af fectionate barb at Arthur . It startled a laugh out of Merlin, and he knew right away he would love her . Sharp witted and shrewd, she was a woman after his own heart. Leon, Arthur ’s childhood friend and Mor gana’ s boyfriend, was a breath of fresh air in comparison. While Gwaine and Mor gana tended to fill the entire room with their presence, Leon was quiet and level-headed. Conversation flowed easily between them, and Merlin enjoyed Leon’ s thoughtful questions and responses. The night consisted of a flurry of activity during which Merlin was peppered with questions about his life in America, his childhood with Gwen, and what he was doing back in London. It was a bit of a whirlwind, but a pleasant one, and Merlin found that he didn’ t mind being thrown in the middle of this curious group. Arthur, on the other hand, remained standof fish through it all. Merlin tried to shrug it of f, telling himself it would improve with time. Still, he was left slightly disappointed to have made so little headway with his best friend’ s boyfriend. -- “Gwen?” Merlin called, poking his head into the penthouse. “Merlin?” Gwen’ s voice floated over to him. “Is that you?” Merlin stepped inside but dawdled in the entryway . “It’s me.” “Everything all right?” Gwen appeared, crossing the living room to take a seat on the couch. “Yes, yes, completely fine, ” Merlin hastily reassured. “I was wondering if I could ask a favor?” Gwen gestured at him insistently until Merlin closed the distance. “Of course, Merlin, ” Gwen said, peering up at him curiously . “Why are you so jumpy?” “Not jumpy, I just feel bad asking, ” Merlin sighed. He didn’ t sit, just leaned against the back of the couch and plucked at a loose thread. “A good friend from America got a job at Albion Labs. He doesn’ t know anyone else here, and I invited him to stay with me until he finds a place. He’s flying in this week, and he lands Saturday afternoon. I haven’ t got the whole car thing sorted, and I hate to ask, but would you mind driving me to the airport?” A smile twitched at Gwen’ s lips. “Oh, Merlin. What did I say about not being a stranger? I don’t mind at all.” Merlin let out the breath he was holding in relief. “You’re the best, Gwen.” “I know, ” Gwen said, flashing a cheeky smile. “So who’ s the friend?” Merlin plopped down on the couch and leaned back against the armrest, facing Gwen. “His name’ s Lance, I’m sure I’ve mentioned him. We met in freshman year of college, and we’ve studied in the same city ever since. He and I have shared a flat for years now .” Snapping her fingers in recognition, Gwen said, “Oh, yes, I remember . I look forward to meeting him. When does his flight land?” “Three in the afternoon on Saturday .” -- When Saturday morning came, Merlin’ s phone vibrated with an incoming call from Gwen. “Merlin!” Gwen sounded breathless on the other end of the line. Alert, Merlin hopped up and started for the door . “Everything all right?” “Yes, yes, ” Gwen said distractedly . “I’m sorry, Merlin, I got called into work today unexpectedly . But Arthur will be here and he’ll take you to the airport to pick up Lance, all right?” “Oh, you don’ t have to – “ “Nonsense, ” Gwen cut him of f. “It’s no trouble, just come knock on the door at two, and Arthur will be here.” “Gwen – “ “Got to go, I’m running late already . Bye, Merlin!” A beep announced the end of the call, leaving Merlin to stare at the phone in his hand. “Bye, Gwen, ” he muttered, trepidation mounting at the thought of being alone in the car with Arthur . But when two o’clock rolled around, Merlin did as Gwen asked - amid some internal grumbling - and knocked on the penthouse door . The door flew open, revealing a harried Arthur on the other side. “Ready?” Arthur said brusquely . Merlin bristled but plastered a pleasant smile on his face. Arthur was doing him a favor, after all. “Ready when you are.” While waiting for Arthur to lock up, Merlin tapped a restless finger against his thigh. Arthur made a vague gesture toward the stairs, and Merlin seized the opportunity to lead the way . He didn’ t want to end up staring awkwardly at the back of Arthur ’s head while they descended a million sets of stairs. As it was, their conversation, if it could even be called that, was uncomfortable and stilted all the way down. It did not bode well for the car ride. When they got on the road, Merlin tried to make polite conversation, asking how Arthur ’s day was going, asking after his job, and thanking him for being his chauf feur. He received little in the way of responses. Nothing blatantly rude, but certainly nothing indicating any interest in continuing the conversation. Finally, Merlin snapped, “Look, mate, I know you don’ t like me, but we’re stuck in this car together for the next half hour, so is it too much to ask for you to stop being such a prat?” Arthur ’s mouth dropped open, and he swung around with an incredulous look on his face. The car swerved, and horns honked all around them. Flushing, Arthur scrambled at the wheel to right them in the lane. “Excuse you, ” Arthur shot back. “Is this normally how you treat someone doing you a favor?” Merlin banged his head against the headrest in frustration. “No, I’m usually quite pleasant, ask your girlfriend or any of your friends. But you seem to turn into a porcupine any time you talk to me, so for give me if I’m done with getting stabbed.” Arthur huf fed and opened his mouth to retort, but no sound came out. Instead, he deflated, his fingers twitching around the steering wheel. Finally, he cleared his throat and muttered, “I don’t not like you.” Merlin stared at Arthur in disbelief. He blinked once, twice, three times, then said bluntly, “I don’t believe you.” Arthur heaved a put-upon sigh and darted a glance at Merlin. In the split second their eyes met, Merlin could see the truth in Arthur ’s words. “It’s true, I like you just fine. You’re a good friend to Gwen, and you get along with my mates, there’ s nothing not to like. I just think we’re very dif ferent people.” “Right… And you know this from the grand total of fifteen minutes we’ve spent conversing over the past few weeks?” Arthur made a frustrated noise. “You’re a physicist, I’m a businessman. You spend your time with your nose in a book, and I spend my time playing footie. You loved living in America, and you couldn’ t pay me enough to move there. We don’ t seem dif ferent enough to you?” “Sure, if you want to put people in neat little boxes like that, ” Merlin retorted. “I am all of those things, but I also love musicals, history, and the near constant English rain. All things you’re partial to as well if I’m not mistaken.” “You’re not, ” Arthur conceded begrudgingly . Merlin folded his arms with a satisfied smirk. “Look, I’m not saying we’re destined to be best friends, but you’re Gwen’ s boyfriend, and you seem like a decent bloke most of the time. I expect we’ll continue seeing more of each other, so I’d like to give the whole ‘being friends’ thing a go, if you can deign to do the same.” “Fine, ” Arthur said. He rolled his eyes, but a reluctant smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Where do we start?” They spent the remainder of the drive bickering about everything from the merits of Broadway versus the W est End to dogs versus cats to whether dif ferent pasta shapes tasted different. It was a dynamic unlike any Merlin had experienced before. By the time they parked at Heathrow, something akin to friendship was blooming between them. With a pang of guilt, Merlin wondered if he’d made a mistake in confronting Arthur . Selfishly, he was delighted they connected. But the more they talked, the more Merlin found that he liked the way Arthur threw back his head when he laughed, the sparkle in his eyes when he came up with a particularly clever retort, and the way he made Merlin feel when their eyes met. Merlin wasn’ t blind, he’d noticed how fit Arthur was the first time they met. But he met fit blokes all the time, and it didn’ t matter that Arthur was exactly his type or that Merlin would climb him like a tree if given the chance. Arthur was Gwen’ s boyfriend, and presumably straight, so Merlin needed to shut his feelings down. -- Arthur hung back fiddling with his phone, watching yet another airport reunion between friends. This one – between Merlin and Lance – was much less emotional than the one between Merlin and Gwen, given it had only been weeks since they’d seen each other, rather than years. “Arthur, this is Lance, ” Merlin said brightly, waving Arthur forward to introduce them. “Lance, this is Arthur, my friend Gwen’ s boyfriend.” “Pleased to meet you, ” Arthur said, shaking Lance’ s hand warmly . “Same to you, ” Lance replied. “It was very kind of you to come with Merlin to pick me up.” “Oh, I’m just the chauf feur, ” Arthur said with a teasing grin at Merlin, who rolled his eyes in response. “Merlin seems to be incapable of providing his own transportation, so it’ s Arthur to the rescue.” “Oi, ” Merlin protested. “I’m working on it! Besides, I asked Gwen for a ride, if anything, you’re doing her a favor, not me, you dollophead.” Shooting Merlin an incredulous look, Arthur led them toward the exit. “Dollophead? I’m certain there’ s no such word.” Merlin trotted to catch up and fell into step beside Arthur, armed with a cheeky smile. “It’s idiomatic.” “It is not.” “I assure you it is.” “Fine, describe ‘dollop head.’” “In two words?” “Yeah.” Merlin scrunched up his nose, clearly pretending to think very hard about his response. “Arthur Pendragon.” Stunned into silence, Arthur could only gape at Merlin. To his credit, Merlin managed to hold the innocent, wide-eyed expression for a full thirty seconds before his cheeks twitched with suppressed laughter . “You had me going for a while, ” Arthur said, still snickering to himself as he pressed the button to unlock the trunk. When he turned around to get the luggage from Lance, he was confronted with Lance’ s curiously amused expression and with Merlin cutting in to snatch up the luggage before Arthur could. “I still stand by it, ” Merlin insisted. His gaze locked with Arthur ’s, eyes twinkling with mirth and challenge. It felt as easy as breathing to continue trading gibes with Merlin as the three of them settled into the car and Arthur got them on the road. During a rare lull in the banter, Lance chimed in. “You seem good, Merlin, ” he said, glancing between Arthur and Merlin with a warm smile. “This… bickering the two of you do. That’ s new. In a good way though.” “New?” Merlin asked quizzically . “Yeah, you’ve always been quick-witted, but I’ve never seen you like this with anyone else. I know Gwen is one of your closest friends, I’m glad you and her boyfriend get on so well.” The admission from someone who knew Merlin so well that Merlin was differ ent with him made Arthur ’s stomach do a funny flip flop. He squashed the feeling, but it was harder to squash the tiny thrill dancing up his spine when he noticed the pink tinge that rose to Merlin’ s cheeks. Harder still to squash was the disappointment when Merlin changed the subject. “Never mind me, ” Merlin said, reaching back to jab Lance’ s arm with a finger . “How’ve you been, Lance? This is the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other since… under grad?” Jealousy sparked in Arthur ’s chest, and he mentally kicked himself. “Sounds like you two are close?” Merlin nodded. “We became friends in freshman year of college. After graduation, we decided to share a flat and have been flatmates ever since. It’s been ages since I’ve gone more than a week or two without seeing this face.” Chuckling, Lance shook his head. “It’ll be like nothing’ s changed once I move in here. We just had a six week break from each other .” “Lance is moving into the second bedroom, ” Merlin explained when he caught sight of Arthur ’s confused face. “He tried to tell me he’d just need to crash for a couple weeks until he found his own place, but I have no need of two bedrooms and I’m used to living with him anyways.” A mischievous smile spread across Merlin’ s face, and he leaned close to Arthur, whispering conspiratorially, “You’ll like having Lance around, Arthur . He plays footie, and he’ll fit right in with your mates.” “Really?” Arthur blurted out. “I’m surprised a researcher like you would be the athletic type.” “After seeing those muscles, you have any doubt?” Merlin sniggered. Arthur flushed red. “Shut up, Merlin.” Lance smoothly came to Arthur ’s rescue. “I’ve been playing on and of f for years actually . Admittedly, I haven’ t had much time while doing my PhD, but I play when I can.” “You should come play with my mates and I then, ” Arthur of fered. “I’ll include you next time we get together .” Lance’ s face lit up. “I’d love to.” Most of the remainder of the car ride was filled with continued discussion about footie, but as the conversation slipped into other topics, Arthur was pleasantly surprised to discover that he and Lance shared several other interests. Merlin, for his part, chimed in with his own remarks - sometimes valid, sometimes insulting, but always entertaining. By the time they arrived home, the three of them were laughing like old friends. “Why don’ t you both join myself and Gwen for dinner?” Arthur of fered once Lance’ s things were deposited in Merlin’ s flat. “Oh, we wouldn’ t want to impose, ” Lance said. “It wouldn’ t be an imposition, ” Arthur insisted. “We’re going to a nice Italian place down the street, we’ll just get a table for four instead of for two. Besides, Gwen would love to meet you, Lance.” Lance darted an uncertain glance at Merlin. “If you’re sure it’ s no trouble, ” he said hesitantly . Merlin threw back his head in laughter . Bumping his shoulder against Lance’ s, he said to Arthur, “Come get us when you two head out? Gwen keeps telling me not to be a stranger, it’s about time I start listening to her .” -- When Merlin opened the door, Gwen and Arthur stood waiting on the other side. Gwen greeted him with a distracted, “Hi, Merlin, ” while she tugged at the hem of her jacket, ineffectually trying to straighten it. Several buttons were in the wrong holes, and Merlin exchanged a quick amused glance with Arthur . “All right there, Gwen?” Merlin asked. Frowning, Gwen undid and redid each of her buttons, smoothing the front of the jacket so it would sit properly . “Shut up, I’m hungry, ” she huf fed. Merlin stifled a laugh. “Well, it’ s a good thing Lance and I are ready to go then.” “Hello there, ” Lance called, peeking over Merlin’ s shoulder and waving in greeting. Two coats were draped over his arm, and Merlin took his gratefully before grabbing his keys and shrugging the coat on. “We won’ t keep Her Majesty waiting, ” Merlin teased as he locked up. Gwen’ s hand shot out and seized a handful of Merlin’ s hair, tugging sharply . “Ow!” Merlin protested, flailing as he lost his balance. This was a remnant of childhood he could do without. Not to mention this used to hurt a lot less when he and Gwen were the same height. “Ignore Merlin. It’s very nice to meet you, Lance, ” Gwen said, dancing out of Merlin’ s reach with an innocent smile. Grumbling, Merlin rubbed at the sore spot on his head. “Oh yes, whatever my queen commands.” “No one calls me that anymore, ” Gwen whined. “How fortunate that I’m back to remind you!” Gwen looked over her shoulder and stuck her tongue out at Merlin. Merlin stuck his tongue out right back. “You two are literal children, ” Arthur snorted. Merlin narrowed his eyes at him, and Arthur hastily covered his mouth with a hand, but it did nothing to hide the amusement twinkling in his eyes. Lance looked between the three of them, mystified. “I feel as though I’m missing something.” “When we were kids, Gwen got it into her head that she was ‘Queen Guinevere’, ” Merlin explained. “Loved to play pretend where Elyan and I were her subjects. The fact that my name is ‘Merlin’ made it far too easy .” It was Lance’ s turn to snort in laughter . “Oh, that’ s precious.” “That’ s one word for it, ” Merlin said, rolling his eyes. Gwen groaned and he swung around to her. “I don’ t know what you’re complaining about, you could’ve gone your entire life without being ‘Queen Guinevere’, it’ s me that could never have avoided association with Merlin the magician. My name is Merlin for god’ s sake!” “We were kids!” “Mhmm, ” Merlin hummed. His gaze fell on Arthur, who was still trying to suppress his laughter, and a brilliant idea came to him. “But then again, Gwen… you are dating an ‘Arthur ’ so maybe you had it right all along.” Arthur made a choked of f sound and froze as three pairs of eyes fixed on him. “Whoa, whoa, ” he said, slowing raising his hands in a gesture of peace. “This isn’ t about me.” A wicked smile spread across Merlin’ s lips. “Come on, are you two telling me that no one has joked about King Arthur and Queen Guinevere to you?” “Elyan has, ” Gwen grumbled, pouting and folding her arms across her chest. Merlin doubled over in laughter . “I ought to thank him the next time I see him, ” he choked out between laughs. “We’re here!” Arthur announced, hauling Gwen inside. Merlin was still quietly snickering by the time they were seated at their table. As they perused the menu, Lance said nonchalantly, “I don’ t know why you’re so triumphant, Merlin. Aren’ t the three of you Arthur, Merlin, and Guinevere now?” Betrayed, Merlin squawked in outrage. “Why aren’ t you on my side?” he sputtered. “I see you hadn’ t thought about that.” Arthur cut in, “Actually, the four of us make quite a group. Lance wouldn’ t be short for Lancelot, would it?” Lance’ s mouth dropped open. The four of them stared at each other in wide-eyed silence before bursting into laughter . “No, no, Lance isn’ t short for anything, ” Lance gasped. Arthur ’s face was buried in his hands, shoulders shaking with laughter . Gwen clutched at Arthur ’s back, shaking along with him as she attempted to muf fle her giggles in his shirt. She waved a hand and said, “This conversation has already gone on way too long. I think this should be our cue to never speak of it again.” “Truce, ” Merlin declared, extending a hand across the table. “Truce.” Merlin and Gwen shook hands solemnly, then dissolved into one last round of giggles. After placing their orders with a waiter who shot them a series of odd looks, Gwen turned her attention to Lance. “Lance, so sorry to subject you to that piece of history .” Chuckling, Lance shot a sideways glance at Merlin. “No apologies necessary . I’m used to Merlin and his oddities.” “Oi, ” Merlin grumbled, glaring half-heartedly . Gwen flashed Merlin a grin. To Lance, she said, “It’ s really very nice to meet you. Merlin speaks of you often, I feel as though I know you already .” “Yes, you as well, ” Lance said warmly . “I’m pleased to have the chance to meet you in person. I hear you’ve been a lifesaver since Merlin moved in. I’m grateful, it’ s been a massive help to me by extension.” “Just helping out a friend.” Gwen’ s cheeks flushed pink, her hands fluttering to her hair, then her jacket before she folded them in her lap. “I hope I’m not being rude, but I have to ask. Your accent… did you grow up here, Lance? It’s just that you don’ t sound like an American.” “You could say that, ” Lance replied. “I grew up in Surrey, but after primary school, my dad’ s job transferred him to America. My mum and I moved with him. This is me of ficially moving back.” “That explains it! Your parents are still in America then?” “Afraid not, ” Lance said softly . “They passed away a few years ago.” Gwen’ s face crumpled in sympathy . “I’m so sorry .” Merlin gripped Lance’ s shoulder tightly . “It was a car accident. We were in junior year of college, ” he explained. It was still a hard topic for Lance to talk about, so when Merlin could, he tried to save him the breath. Gently, Gwen laid one hand over Lance’ s. “It’s not much, but I understand, ” she murmured. “My father passed away a few years ago as well. Illness, so I had time to prepare, but it doesn’ t make it hurt any less.” Lance’ s eyes were sad, but there was a glimmer of a smile on his lips. He turned his hand over and squeezed Gwen’ s gratefully . “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Arthur touched the small of Gwen’ s back, and she leaned into it. “I still have my younger brother, Elyan, ” she said, withdrawing her hand to stroke Arthur ’s arm with a smile. “Arthur as well.” As Gwen and Lance continued to exchange stories of their loss, Arthur drew Merlin into conversation, giving them the space to grieve without intrusion. “I think this is good for her, ” Arthur said quietly, darting a glance at Gwen’ s melancholy expression. “I was there for her when her dad passed, but I’ve never been through it myself.” “Yeah, ” Merlin murmured. “It was the same for me with Lance.” “My mother died giving birth to me, ” Arthur confessed. “It’s not that I’m a stranger to grief, but it’ s not the same.” Merlin’ s eyes widened - he was touched Arthur would share such a personal story with him. Affection sur ged in his chest, and Merlin said, “I never knew my father . He left not long after I was born.” Their gazes locked, and for a moment, it felt as if they understood each other perfectly . Arthur broke away first, shaking himself and changing the subject. “Let’ s not bring down the mood even more. Do you like Italian?” Merlin perked up. He glanced around the restaurant, taking in the cozy atmosphere and the twinkling lights. “I love it. This restaurant is lovely, so quiet and homey .” A grin broke out across Arthur ’s face, and his eyes lit up. “That’ s exactly what I say! It’s the best kind of place, not like those huge chains that pack in as many tables as they can fit.” Chin propped on one hand, Merlin watched Arthur babble on, endeared by his excitement and the sparkle in his eyes. Still, he couldn’ t resist throwing in one gibe. “’Do you like Italian?’” Merlin mimicked. “You didn’ t think to ask that before we came to dinner here? What if I said no?” Arthur sputtered indignantly . “I told you we were going to an Italian restaurant when we got back from the airport! You had more than enough time to say otherwise.” “Maybe I was just being polite.” “Right, as if, ” Arthur snorted. “How rude, ” Merlin gasped dramatically and clapped a hand over his heart. “I know you are, ” Arthur shot back, all smug condescension. Under the table, Merlin aimed a kick at Arthur ’s shoe, then leaned forward, challenging. “You have not known me nearly long enough to say things like that.” Arthur mirrored him, resting his elbows against the table. “But somehow I feel as if I’ve known you all my life.” Any retort Merlin had evaporated into smoke. Arthur was distractingly close. His blue eyes were inches away, his smirk was far too flirty, and Merlin swore he could catch a faint whif f of Arthur ’s intoxicating cologne. “Y-Yeah, ” Merlin stammered. Slowly, the smirk faded from Arthur ’s lips, and his gaze drifted lower . Merlin’ s mouth went dry, and his pulse roared in his ears. Worse, he didn’ t think he was imagining the pull between them. A peal of laughter rang out, and Merlin and Arthur sprang apart. Arthur ’s chair scraped sharply against the floor, and he gripped the table edge to avoid tipping backward. Merlin stared down at this plate, gulping down shaky breaths, fighting down the heat creeping up his neck. When he looked up, he couldn’ t help but notice Arthur looked equally flushed and flustered. Beside them, Gwen and Lance paid them no mind. Gwen was giggling, a hand over her mouth. Lance was grinning as well, whispering what sounded like the tail end of a story . Merlin was hardly paying attention to the words coming out of Lance’ s mouth, too focused on the way Gwen and Lance leaned into each other ’s space, heads bent close together . Their conversation had clearly moved past grief, and the two must have found something else to bond over . Fantastic. But Merlin had seen that look on Lance’ s face before, and he could see the writing on the wall. Lance was a romantic. When he fell, he fell hard and fast. But that way lay heartbreak. Arthur didn’ t seem to mind, or perhaps he hadn’ t caught on. He was fiddling with his phone, not even watching the scene before them unfold. Merlin let out a breath he didn’ t know he was holding, but worry settled in the pit of his stomach. -- With some distance from that first dinner, Merlin tried to put it the entire incident out of his mind. It didn’ t mean anything. It couldn’ t. Perhaps he’d imagined the looks between Gwen and Lance. Perhaps he’d imagined the sparks between him and Arthur . After that night, things settled into a semblance of a routine. Since the four of them lived just floors apart, Gwen was forever pushing them together, insisting on Merlin spending more time with her boyfriend and on herself spending more time with Merlin’ s other best friend. It was all very normal and innocent, absolutely nothing to worry about. Merlin and Lance had a standing invitation to join Gwen and Arthur for dinner any time they wanted. But best friend or not, Merlin seriously doubted she wanted them underfoot all the time. Her and Arthur might live in the penthouse – which was a huge, gor geous space – but it was still her and her boyfriend’ s home. No couple wanted a constant third and fourth wheel. Despite Merlin’ s best ef forts to lay low, Gwen strong-armed him into agreeing to dinner every Friday . It wasn’ t that Merlin didn’ t want to go. The four of them got on incredibly well. But the more time they spent together, the harder it became to put on the brakes. One weekly dinner snowballed into several, then into nearly every night. Before Merlin even realized what was happening, their nightly routine became dinner and telly in the penthouse. They even had a rotating schedule of who cooked dinner which day and which days they ordered takeaway . It was terribly domestic, and Merlin kind of loved it. He’d even almost convinced himself it was quite normal that he and Lance saw Arthur and Gwen nearly as much as Arthur and Gwen saw each other . Later, Merlin would blame it on the fancy wine, or maybe his own exhaustion, but on a night no dif ferent than any other, Merlin was suddenly struck with the realization of how truly odd their situation was. Arthur had the day of f, so he’d put together a herb crusted rack of lamb for dinner along with some roasted potatoes and carrots. Despite being rich and posh, the kind of person who grew up with a cook in his childhood home, Arthur was a fantastic cook. Merlin thought it was immensely unfair for one person to be so good at everything. Dinner was delicious, and after Merlin and Lance finished tidying up, they made their way into the living room, ready to spend the rest of their night sprawled on the couch in front of the telly . In the entrance to the living room, Merlin froze as he saw the scene with new eyes. Arthur and Gwen had settled in their usual spots on the sectional. Gwen preferred the corner, and Arthur sat beside her . She was curled up with her back against one cushion, and her knees were bent so she could tuck her toes under Arthur ’s thigh. Which left enough space for one person to sit comfortably on Arthur ’s right, and another to sit on Gwen’ s left. Lance breezed past Merlin and plopped down in his usual seat beside Gwen, already recounting a story that brought a smile to Gwen’ s face. Merlin’ s usual seat, beside Arthur, sat empty and waiting for him. “Sit down, Merlin, ” Arthur called in a fondly exasperated tone and patted the cushion next to him. Merlin sat. It wasn’ t as if one could divine meaning from a particular seating arrangement and, from there, make a judgment on the state of the relationships between the four of them. No, the problem was how the night progressed afterwards. While they always started the night as a group, chatting away around the dinner table, somehow they always ended up breaking into pairs. It only made sense, right? One would think they would find something to watch, Arthur and Gwen would cuddle up together, and Merlin and Lance would chat amongst themselves. And of course, when there was something to share, the four of them would talk, laugh, and joke as a group. But, no. No, Arthur spent the night bantering with Merlin, squeezed into Merlin’ s personal space, even while he had a hand loosely wrapped around Gwen’ s ankle. As he did every night . Constantly, Arthur whispered quips in Merlin’ s ear, and the two of them ended up snickering about joke after inside joke. Gwen spent the night leaning the other way, her and Lance’ s heads bent toward each other . A constant stream of whispers and laughs came from them. No dif ferent than any other night. Each of them barely paid any mind to the people on the other side of the couch. Merlin wondered if he was the only one who noticed. It could be innocent, right? Maybe Merlin was just reading too much into things. The next night, it was Merlin’ s turn to cook. As Arthur and Gwen tidied up in the kitchen, Merlin dragged Lance with him into the living room, and plopped himself down in Gwen’ s spot. Lance shot Merlin a funny look. When he opened his mouth to speak, Merlin gave his arm a sharp yank, and Lance tipped over into the seat next to Merlin. It left a whole side of the couch empty . When Arthur and Gwen returned, they blinked in confusion, seemingly baf fled about where they were supposed to sit. With some hesitation, they sat down next to each other in the space Merlin purposely left for them. Merlin spent the night actively trying to engage Lance in conversation more than Arthur . It was awkward as hell. Merlin couldn’ t recall the last time he had this much trouble holding an easy conversation with the particular people in this room. Halfway through their show, Merlin of fered to make tea. When he and Lance brought back the brewed tea, Gwen and Arthur had shifted into their usual positions, leaving Lance and Merlin no choice but to do the same. The tension in the room dissipated, and with that small change, they all found their stride again. Arthur with Merlin. Lance with Gwen. Merlin still thought it odd that where they sat made such a dif ference, but he let it go. Perhaps it really was him reading too much into things. Maybe it was his own heavy-handed meddling that had made the evening so awkward. As if they were making up for lost time from the first half of the evening, the four of them ended up so engrossed in their conversations that they left Netflix up and running for far longer than usual. Merlin and Lance tended to migrate back to their flat by ten p.m. most nights, since each of them needed to get ready for work the next morning. But this time, when Netflix prompted them with its “Are you still watching?” message, Merlin had to stifle a yawn. He glanced at his phone and was shocked to see twelve thirty-seven a.m. flash on his screen. It was far too late for them to still be here. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Merlin leaned over to try and catch Lance’ s eye. He stopped in his tracks – Gwen had fallen asleep on Lance’ s shoulder, and Lance’ s cheek was pillowed on top of her head, eyes closed. Merlin bit his lip and glanced at Arthur, hoping this had somehow escaped his notice. Lucky for Lance and Gwen, it had. But only because Arthur was also asleep, slumped back against the cushions, one hand splayed out, reaching toward Merlin. Merlin was torn. On the one hand, staying here all night and waking up like this was a recipe for disaster . On the other hand, he very much would like to curl up next to Arthur and plead unconsciousness the next morning for the awkward position they were sure to find themselves in. A yawn escaped him. Merlin was very tired. And this couch was very comfortable. Hesitantly, Merlin inched back until he was reclined against the cushions. Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a minute… Merlin peeked an eye open. None of his companions stirred. Against his better judgment, Merlin scooted closer to Arthur . Very gently, he pushed Arthur ’s hand back toward him, then rested his own hand over Arthur ’s and leaned his head on Arthur ’s shoulder . “Mmm, ” Arthur mumbled. Merlin froze. Instead of waking up, Arthur shifted closer . Merlin let out a tiny sigh of relief. Now, maybe he really would rest his eyes for a bit… Just for a few minutes though, he should still wake everyone… “Shit!” Merlin jolted awake, smacking his head into something hard. “Ow, ” Arthur groaned. Rubbing the tender spot on the back of his head, Merlin glanced around. Oh no, he was still in the penthouse, and it was clearly morning… Arthur was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with one hand while the other rubbed the underside of his chin. Merlin winced. So that was what he’d smacked into. Speaking of… On the other side of the couch, Lance and Gwen had leaped to their feet and were frantically patting their clothes and hair . “Shit, shit, shit, ” Gwen muttered. “I’m so late for work!” “I am too, ” Lance groaned, slapping his own cheek. “I was meant to be in an hour ago.” The two of them dashed away - Gwen for the bathroom, and Lance out the door . Merlin blinked sleepily after them. Was it his imagination or were they both blushing? “Guess it pays of f to not be an early bird, ” Arthur said, nudging Merlin’ s arm. “What time is it?” Arthur checked his phone, then turned the screen toward Merlin. “It’s nine twenty-five.” Breathing a sigh of relief, Merlin sank back into the couch. “Figures. Lance is usually at work by eight.” Arthur nodded, shooting a worried glance at the closed bathroom door . “Gwen too. She’s almost always the first one in.” “Overachievers, ” Merlin said with a mock exasperated shake of his head. Arthur snorted. “You’re one to talk, Dr. Emrys.” “Fine, but I didn’ t say I’m late, ” Merlin retorted. “I might have a PhD, but I value my sleep.” “We may have just found another thing we have in common.” Merlin rolled his eyes. “I just don’ t like to get up at the crack of dawn to cram myself in the tube. I still have to get ready for work, so I admit I’ll be a little late today, but I usually leave around this time.” “Oh, ” Arthur said, blinking at Merlin in surprise. “Me too. I work late a lot, and I get to avoid traffic if I leave after nine. Do you need a ride?” “Thought you didn’ t want to be a chauf feur?” Merlin teased. Chuckling, Arthur rose to his feet and stretched his arms over his head. His shirt rode up, revealing a sliver of skin that Merlin would very much like to lick. “You’re not so bad, Emrys.” Merlin’ s head snapped up, his cheeks turning pink when he realized he had been staring. “Hmm? Right, same to you.” Smirking, Arthur strode away toward the bedroom. “Meet me outside in twenty, and I’ll drive you, ” he called over his shoulder . It took Merlin a full minute to process what had just happened. When his brain caught up, he scrambled of f the couch and raced back to his own flat to change. After rush hour or not, Merlin still didn’ t fancy taking the tube when he had a perfectly good offer of a ride in a comfortable car . What he hadn’ t expected was for the one-time of fer to turn into a pattern. Though he never had before, every few days, he would now run into Arthur on the way to work. And unfailingly polite as Arthur was, each time he would shuf fle Merlin into his car where they would proceed to have a spirited twenty-minute ride to Albion Labs, sniping at each other the entire way . Before Merlin knew it, every few days turned into every day . Merlin knew he was in trouble when he found himself leaning against the wall outside the entrance to the building, waiting a full fifteen minutes for a ruf fled Arthur to emer ge, an apology on his lips for being late. His morning commute quickly – too quickly – became Merlin’ s favorite part of the day . Even while Merlin scolded himself for jumping through mental hoop after hoop to explain away the amount of time he spent with Arthur, Merlin said nothing about Gwen and Lance doing the same. They were all playing with fire. — Merlin was in his of fice at Albion Labs, his back to the door . He had been preparing his research for weeks to give an important presentation on his findings to his department head that afternoon. A knock came at the door . “Come in, ” Merlin called distractedly . “Dr. Emrys?” Merlin twisted around - one his assistants had poked her head in. “Mar got, how can I help you?” Margot smiled sheepishly and pointed at a shelf near the back of the of fice. “I left my things in here earlier . Is now a good time for me to grab them?” Following her finger, Merlin spotted a stack of papers along with an iced cof fee that weren’ t his. “Certainly, come right in.” By the time Mar got ducked inside and gathered her things, Merlin had turned back to his work, already back to mentally running through his presentation. Absorbed as he was in his work, Merlin completely failed to register Mar got scurrying past him to leave. When he took a step back, he bodily collided with Mar got. A high-pitched yelp. Papers fluttering through the air . A shock of ice-cold liquid down his back. At a loss for words, Merlin stood in the middle of his of fice, dripping iced cof fee while a flustered Mar got babbled apologies and tried inef fectually to dab him dry with a single damp napkin. Merlin blinked down at himself. Already, he could see cof fee seeping around the sides of his white shirt. Near tears, Mar got cried, “I’m so sorry, Dr. Emrys!” Merlin snapped out of it, mustering up a smile and gently pushing her hand away . “Mar got, Margot, it’ s fine, ” he said as soothingly as he could. “I’ll just have to find another shirt.” “But your presentation!” “Will be fine, ” Merlin said, thanking god his voice didn’ t crack. “It would be lovely if you could clean this up for me, but if you’ll excuse me?” “Yes, yes, ” Mar got said, nodding fervently . “I’m so sorry, Dr. Emrys. Please let me know if I can help!” Merlin managed one last reassuring smile. Once his of fice door was shut behind him, Merlin broke into a run toward Lance’ s office. He barreled inside, wailing, “Lance, help!” Alarmed, Lance shot to his feet. He took in Merlin’ s disheveled appearance and cursed softly when Merlin spun around, waving his arms frantically to gesture at his back. “Shit, Merlin. What happened?” “Mar got’s cof fee spilled all over me, ” Merlin groaned and buried his face in his hands. Gently, Lance plucked at the fabric of Merlin’ s shirt, wincing when cof fee dripped to the floor . Merlin grabbed Lance by the shoulders and shook him. “Please tell me you have a spare shirt. Please. ” Lance rummaged through his of fice, but he came up empty . “I’m sorry, Merlin. I don’ t. But don’t worry, we’ll figure something out, all right?” “Oh god, ” Merlin whimpered. “I can’ t fuck up this presentation.” “We’ll find the closest clothing store, ” Lance soothed, gingerly patting a clean section of Merlin’ s shirt. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see.” Merlin perched on the edge of a chair, lightly banging his forehead against Lance’ s desk. He was careful not to lean back, Lance didn’ t need cof fee soaked cushions. “We’re saved!” Merlin’ s head shot up. “You’ve found a store?” Lance shook his head but held out his phone triumphantly . “Gwen is going to save us. She says she has some of Arthur ’s shirts in the car from the dry cleaners. Her of fice is only a few minutes walk away, so she’ s going to run over now .” “Gwen, my savior, ” Merlin cried. Merlin had been so wrapped up in his own panic that he hadn’ t even thought to question why Lance and Gwen texted with such frequency that Lance immediately told her what happened. The shirts all ended up being a little bit too big for Merlin, but they saved his ass. Of course, he had a whole dif ferent problem of trying to put out of his head that it was Arthur ’s shirt he was wearing. But really, that was a minor problem compared to the crisis averted. If one shirt mysteriously went missing when Merlin returned the shirts to Gwen, that was Merlin’ s own business. To thank Gwen, Merlin insisted on taking her and Lance out to lunch. The three of them had a great time, and they all agreed they should do this more often. So they did. Somewhere along the way, it became routine for Gwen to drop by Albion Labs for the three of them to go to lunch together . To make things easier for all of them, they worked out a schedule in which they ate together every T uesday, Thursday, and Friday . From time to time, Merlin would be too busy to make their standing lunch date. But Gwen and Lance never did. A few months after their tradition started, Merlin was roped into a project with a compressed timeline. For an entire six weeks, Merlin was buried in work - he arrived at work early, left late, and ate a hurried lunch at his desk. But Merlin was quite sure Gwen was coming by for lunch more often? In fact, every time Merlin bumped into Lance after lunch hour, Lance was smiling from ear to ear . Merlin wasn’ t an idiot. His friends weren’ t either . As his best friend, Lance was the one Merlin usually shared his musings with. Lance was the most level-headed person he knew, and this was exactly the kind of situation in which he would know what to say . Except this particular situation had become so irrevocably tangled that he didn’ t know where to start. If he even should start. What could he possibly say? Lance, mate, maybe stop trying to pull Gwen since she has a boyfriend? No, what do you mean, I’m not mooning over Arthur, you’re crazy . So, Merlin kept his mouth shut and ignored the ever -present sinking feeling in his stomach each time the four of them gravitated toward the wrong people. -- A text from Gwaine flashed on Merlin’ s phone. ’Club tonight?’ Merlin smiled fondly . Over the months since his move to London, he and Gwaine had become good friends. Gwaine was constantly on the prowl for something fun to do – usually involving a pub or a club – so almost every weekend, Merlin found himself with an invitation from Gwaine to join him. He didn’ t accept very often, preferring to spend his time curled up with a book or sat watching telly with Arthur, Gwen, and Lance. But once in a while, usually when Merlin could feel his inadvisable crush on Arthur spiraling out of control, he would force himself to go out with Gwaine on the pull. This felt like one of those times. On impulse, Merlin texted back that he and Lance would be there. Maybe he was projecting his own feelings, but things between Lance and Gwen felt like they were tipping dangerously in the wrong direction. When Merlin told Lance, Lance had tried to put up a fight, subtly complaining about an early start in the morning until Merlin flatly reminded him they had the next day of f. In no mood to deal with excuses, Merlin gave Lance exactly five more seconds to flounder before marching to the closet and rummaging for appropriate clubbing wear . “It’ll be good for both of us, ” Merlin insisted as he glared Lance into submission. Despite the reluctant start, Lance brightened once they’d downed a few drinks and hopped on the dance floor . They were at The Green Knight, a club only a fifteen-minute walk from Merlin and Lance’ s flat. Merlin was having a great time. This was a great way to for get about Arthur . …Damn. Whenever Arthur ’s face floated before his eyes, Merlin threw himself into dancing with a renewed vigor . Lance and Gwaine were both fantastic dance partners, especially without any romantic entanglements weighing down their interactions. But a club was a club, and none of them were short of partners seeking their company . A curvy brunette quickly caught Gwaine’ s eye. She sidled up to Gwaine, and after a couple minutes of grinding against each other, Gwaine dipped her and planted a showy kiss on her lips. With a saucy wink at Merlin and Lance, Gwaine disappeared into the crowd, the brunette clinging to his hand. Lance needed a bit of time to warm up to the men and women trying to catch his attention, but even he was drawn to a tall blonde who tapped him on the shoulder . He spun her, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her back against his front. They swayed together, and he relaxed into it when the woman tipped her head back and pulled him down for a kiss. She whispered something in his ear, then took him by the hand, tugging shyly . When Lance turned to shoot an apologetic look at Merlin, the blonde met Merlin’ s gaze and flashed a friendly smile. Immediately, Merlin saw what broke through Lance’ s barriers. She had kind brown eyes, and the warmth in her smile was all Gwen. Merlin bit his lip. A little worried, he kept an eye on Lance as he followed the woman of f the dance floor . He needn’ t have worried. They slid into a booth and the woman climbed into his lap, wasting no time in kissing the breath from Lance’ s lips. A tiny chuckle escaped Merlin. He couldn’ t say if Lance was thinking about Gwen or not, but judging by where his hands were, Lance was just fine. “Need some company?” a voice shouted in Merlin’ s ear. Merlin whirled around, nearly tripping over his own feet. A set of warm hands steadied him, and Merlin found himself looking into a handsome face with pretty blue eyes, framed with golden blond hair . Heart pounding, Merlin almost blurted out, “Arthur?” He bit his tongue. It was just another gor geous blond bloke. Inwardly, Merlin blamed Arthur for his new taste in men. It was exceedingly unfair . How was he supposed to get over Arthur like this? He gave the bloke a quick once-over and decided, “He’ll do.” Aloud, with a flirtatious smirk, Merlin said, “Are you of fering?” The bloke grinned and made his answer clear by winding his arms around Merlin and pulling them flush together . Merlin wasn’ t complaining. He’d been behaving like a shameless tease all night, so he’d had plenty of of fers, but none he’d been interested in. Even Gwaine had raised an eyebrow at him at one point when Merlin had gotten slightly too carried away . One particular bloke had looked about five seconds from coming in his pants when Merlin patted his chest and sent him of f. The man hobbled of f the dance floor in the direction of the loo… Merlin felt a little bad about that one. This bloke though… well if he couldn’ t have Arthur, what was the harm in having a little fun with the next best thing? Merlin danced as if he wanted to fuck right there on the dance floor - full of grinding hips, sloppy kisses, and wandering hands. The bloke’ s breath was hot against Merlin’ s ear, panting, “Do you want to go – “ “ – get of f?” Merlin cut him of f. He was willing to bet the bloke was about to invite him back to his place, but Merlin wasn’ t interested in leaving with him. “Saw a private toilet in the back.” Clearly not about to turn down the chance, the bloke snapped his mouth shut and nodded. “Lead the way .” In the toilet, Merlin let the bloke press him against the wall, let himself be swept away in the sensation of kisses and the bloke’ s mouth around his cock. After he’d tucked himself back in, Merlin returned the favor, too focused on the uncomfortable tile beneath his knees to much enjoy it. After they parted ways, Merlin met back up with Lance. By silent mutual agreement, they headed back toward their flat. Neither said much, both lost in their own thoughts. The cold night air was sobering, and Merlin just wanted to go home and brush his teeth to wash away the bitter taste of come lingering in his mouth. But as Merlin stared up at the night sky, he couldn’ t help but think it was still better than the taste of rejection. -- Merlin was alone in his flat, sprawled like a starfish on the couch. Lance was away until mid-Saturday, traveling for a conference for his research. Gwen was busy too. The non-profit she managed was hosting a gala, and she wouldn’ t be home until the wee hours of the morning. And Arthur… well, Arthur was home too, Merlin knew . So Merlin found himself staring up at the ceiling, phone dangling from his fingers, a half- written response to a text from Gwaine lit up on the screen. Gwaine had invited him to go clubbing again, and Merlin could not make up his mind. On the one hand, it would take his mind of f Arthur, and he could stop pining like a schoolgirl on a Friday night. On the other hand, Merlin really didn’ t want to go clubbing. A knock sounded at the door . “Merlin?” came Arthur ’s muf fled voice. Merlin bolted upright, staring at the door in shock. He scrambled to his feet and flung the door open. On the other side was Arthur, arms folded, an unimpressed expression on his face. “Isn’ t it your turn to cook tonight?” Merlin blinked back at him in silence. “Well?” Arthur said, looking increasingly uncertain. “Or is this your way of telling me you have other plans?” “No!” Merlin blurted out. Then mentally kicked himself for not making up an excuse. A pleased smile crept across Arthur ’s face, and his usual cocky arrogance set back in. “Come up already then, ” he called over his shoulder as he headed back down the hall. Gaping after him, Merlin didn’ t close the door until Arthur disappeared around the corner . Well, this was exactly what Merlin was trying to avoid. But Merlin was smiling as he tapped out a response to Gwaine, turning down his invitation. As he climbed the stairs toward the penthouse, Merlin couldn’ t help humming under his breath, heart skipping a beat at the thought of an entire night spent alone with Arthur . The penthouse door was unlocked when Merlin tried the handle. “I could be coming to rob you, ” Merlin called as he toed his shoes of f. Arthur tipped his head back from his position on the couch, looking at Merlin from upside down. “But you’re not.” “You don’ t know that.” Rolling his eyes, Arthur closed his book and padded over to meet Merlin in the kitchen. “I could take you.” “I’m stronger than I look, ” Merlin snif fed. He pointedly turned his back on Arthur and bent to peer into the fridge. “Curry maybe?” “Sure. Need help?” “I wouldn’ t turn it down. Start the rice while I chop the vegetables?” They chatted amiably in the kitchen while preparing dinner, Merlin’ s music playing quietly in the background. When they sat down to eat, Arthur asked, mid-mouthful, “Y ou didn’ t have other plans tonight, did you?” Merlin’ s hand jerked and sent curry splattering. “I told you no earlier .” “I’m asking you again.” Merlin dropped his eyes to his plate, pushing rice and curry around until one pile was mostly mush. “I wasn’ t sure, ” Merlin said honestly . “Gwaine invited me out, but I hadn’ t answered him yet. Gwen and Lance aren’ t around, so I didn’ t know if… our plans changed.” “You didn’ t want to come without them.” Arthur ’s tone was carefully neutral. “No, that’ s not it, ” Merlin said quickly . “I-I did. But I didn’ t know if you would.” Surprise flickered across Arthur ’s face. “Merlin, we’re friends, aren’ t we?” “Yes, ” Merlin answered without hesitation. “Then it doesn’ t matter if it’ s just us, ” Arthur said, flashing a charming smile and nudging Merlin’ s leg under the table. “Right, ” Merlin croaked. Arthur ’s shoulders slumped slightly, and he bowed his head. “But you could’ve gone out with Gwaine if you wanted.” “I didn’ t. I’d rather be here with you.” Arthur shot him an unreadable look. “But you do sometimes. Go out with Gwaine, I mean.” Merlin nodded slowly, unsure what Arthur was getting at. “Are you and Gwaine…?” Merlin looked at Arthur blankly . When his meaning sank in, Merlin barked a laugh. “God, no, ” he said. “Gwaine’ s not interested in anything more than a shag, and as nice as that would be, no thanks. Besides, Lance comes out with us sometimes too.” Arthur seemed a little more at ease, but tension still held his shoulders taut. “I know how Gwaine is. I’ve been out with him too. Going to a club or a pub with Gwaine doesn’ t usually end with anyone leaving alone.” Heat crept into Merlin’ s cheeks, and he desperately tried to will it down. “Even Gwaine just needs a friend sometimes, ” he said lightly . Arthur didn’ t ask any more, but Merlin could tell by the purse of his lips that he could read between the lines. An odd tension hung in the air between them as they finished their dinner, and it didn’ t dissipate until Merlin flicked a handful of soap suds at Arthur while tidying up. From there, the night devolved into a slippery water fight. Merlin and Arthur laughed themselves hoarse, slipping and sliding in the puddles on the kitchen tile, clothes soaked through. Cleaning up the mess afterward was much less fun, but somehow, Merlin couldn’ t imagine a better night. “Don’ t you dare sit on the couch in your wet clothes, ” Arthur shouted. Merlin spun around and stuck his tongue out. “Relax, clotpole. I’ll go home and change.” Shaking his head, Arthur breezed past him, heading for the bedroom. “Don’ t bother, I’ll lend you some pyjamas.” Before Merlin had a chance to protest, Arthur was banging through the dresser . Two things flew through the open doorway and smacked Merlin in the face. “Try those, ” Arthur called. Clutching the clothes to his chest, Merlin dithered until Arthur started to pull his shirt over his head. Wide-eyed, Merlin watched the wet fabric slide over Arthur ’s skin, revealing inch after inch of golden skin. With a squeak, Merlin scampered away into a spare bedroom and slammed the door . Breathing hard, he leaned back against the door, knocking his head against the wood to clear his head. He needed to get a grip. The pyjamas he’d been given would be soaked through if he didn’ t stop clutching them to his chest and get changed already . The pyjamas were a little big, as Merlin had expected. But they were comfortable, and they smelled like Arthur . Merlin padded out of the spare bedroom and hung his clothes in the bathroom before flopping down beside Arthur on the couch. By mutual agreement, they put a film on to watch. At first, they snarked at each other and sniggered at inside jokes, as usual. But without Gwen and Lance there, Merlin allowed himself a little bit more free reign. Allowed himself to be bolder than he would dare with his best friend there to see the way he looked at her boyfriend. He looked a little longer, laughed a little harder . When Arthur slung an arm across the back of the couch, Merlin inched closer, letting his head slip onto Arthur ’s shoulder during an emotional scene. By the time the credits rolled, Merlin didn’ t even know how they got there, but he was curled into Arthur ’s side, and Arthur ’s arm was snug around his shoulders. His heart was pounding so loudly he was sure Arthur could hear it. When he tipped his head back to look at Arthur, Arthur was looking back. Their gazes collided and, for a moment, Merlin swore he saw a flash of desire in Arthur ’s eyes. Merlin pulled away . No. Arthur was his best friend’ s boyfriend. As wonderful as the night had been, it was nothing but a fantasy in Merlin’ s own head. -- Leon showed up at the penthouse bearing trays full of Greek catering. Apparently, he’d been in char ge of a company event and was saddled with all the leftover food. He begged Arthur and Gwen to take some, and they’d taken pity on him. But not before corralling Merlin, Lance, and Gwaine into joining them to polish it of f. The trays were lined up across the kitchen counters, and the six of them were each waiting their turn to fill their plates. Without being asked, Lance put together two platefuls, carefully selecting dif ferent things for each plate. He sat beside Gwen at the table, handing her one plate and setting the other down in front of himself. Gwen beamed up at him and said, “My favorites!” Arthur flopped onto the couch, nudged Merlin with his foot, and looked pointedly at the food until Merlin sighed, rolled his eyes, and got up. “No olives, you know how I like it, ” Arthur chirped at Merlin’ s back. When Merlin returned with their food, an olive sat in the center of Arthur ’s plate, the biggest one Merlin could find. Pouting, Arthur stabbed the olive and waved it in Merlin’ s face. “You know I’m not going to eat this, ” he complained. Blinking innocently, Merlin popped a piece of chicken into his mouth. “You never know, Arthur . Today could be the day you discover you love olives.” “Take the damn olive.” “Are you suuuure you don’ t want to try it?” Arthur shook his head vehemently and jabbed Merlin’ s cheek with the olive. “Suit yourself.” Grinning, Merlin caught the olive between his teeth and pulled it of f Arthur ’s fork. As he chewed, he added, “One day you’ll see sense, Arthur Pendragon.” “You’re an idiot, ” Arthur grumbled between mouthfuls of rice. Gwaine had been watching the entire exchange with interest. As he sauntered over to the couch, he asked, “When did you four manage to swap partners without any of us noticing?” One by one, Arthur, Merlin, Gwen, and Lance froze. Slowly, they turned to stare at Gwaine, who had a roguish grin on his face. The silence stretched on for so long that Gwaine’ s grin faded, and he glanced between the four of them, looking slightly concerned. “All right there? I was just joking.” Arthur found his voice first. “That doesn’ t make any sense, ” he said flatly . “Merlin and Lance aren’ t even together, and they never have been.” The atmosphere turned tense even as the grin reappeared on Gwaine’ s face. Merlin and Lance both looked away, clearing their throats uncomfortably . “Merlin, mate! Did you lie to me about hooking up with Lance?” Gwaine lamented. Arthur and Gwen drew in twin sharp intakes of breath. Merlin darted a guilty glance at Arthur, and out of the corner of his eye, didn’ t miss Lance doing the same at Gwen. Neither of them knew what to say, but there was no denying the hurt written across Arthur and Gwen’ s faces. Loudly – too loudly – Leon declared, “The food is good, isn’ t it? I didn’ t get a chance to try it at work, but it’ s top notch.” Lance shot Leon a grateful smile, and Leon gave a small nod in response. There was a troubled look in Leon’ s eyes when Merlin met his gaze, and Merlin gave a tiny shake of his head, silently begging Leon not to ask. No one spoke of it further, but the revelation had soured the night. Gwen was uncharacteristically quiet, and Arthur answered any questions directed his way in short, clipped tones. Gwaine and Leon made their excuses soon after their plates were empty . Merlin couldn’ t blame them. He’d escape too if he could. Quietly, the remaining four cleared away the dirty dishes and boxed up what little food was left. When Gwen elbowed her way past Lance to fill up the kettle, Lance leaped out of the way like a startled deer . He gave her a wide berth as she moved around the kitchen making tea. Seeing his opportunity, Merlin caught Arthur ’s eye and jerked his head toward the living room. Arthur ’s eyes were guarded, but he gave a single small nod. Relieved, Merlin led the way out of the kitchen, through the living room, and into the hallway leading to the bedrooms. He didn’ t dare glance back, reassured by the sound of soft footfalls that Arthur was following. “What?” Arthur asked gruf fly. Merlin bit his lip. He forced himself to turn around and meet Arthur ’s steely gaze. “It’s not what you think, ” he blurted out. “What’ s not what I think?” Arthur scof fed. “Lance and I, ” Merlin said softly . He stared down at his hands, wondering why the hell he was having this conversation. Arthur didn’ t speak for long moments. Merlin didn’ t look up, busy toying with the loose threads on the hem of his shirt. An unsteady huf f of breath and a soft thump later, Arthur said, “It’ s none of my business.” Merlin peeked up through his lashes to find Arthur slumped against the wall, his arms folded tightly in front of his chest, his eyes downcast. “No, it’ s not, ” Merlin agreed. Sounding defeated, Arthur said, “But what were you going to say?” Merlin closed his eyes. Helpless to resist, he swayed closer, close enough their arms could almost brush. “It doesn’ t matter, does it?” Arthur sighed, and he dropped his forehead to Merlin’ s shoulder . “Tell me anyways?” he pleaded. “Lance and I never dated.” Explanation owed or not, Merlin had dragged Arthur over here with the intent of coming clean. “But Gwaine wasn’ t wrong. We’ve fallen into bed together a few times over the years. We’re better of f as friends though.” “Right. Friends, ” Arthur said flatly . His head snapped up, eyes blazing. “Do you jump into bed with all your friends, Merlin?” Surprised at the vehemence in Arthur ’s tone, Merlin jerked backward. “What – no!” he spluttered. Suddenly, it dawned on Merlin why Arthur might be angry . Horrified, he hastily added, “Arthur, listen, Gwen and I never – “ Arthur sneered, cutting him of f. Like throwing down a gauntlet, Arthur challenged, “W ould you sleep with me, Merlin?” Merlin’ s words died in his throat. “What?” Arthur ’s eyes widened. His jaw snapped shut and all the fight bled out of him. “I-I’m sorry, ” he stammered. “I don’ t know what’ s got into me. That was massively unfair, please for give me.” As Merlin’ s brain caught up with the conversation, it was as if a dam broke loose. “Why do you care?” Arthur froze. Emboldened, Merlin took a step closer, crowding into Arthur ’s space. Arthur ’s eyes snapped to his, and the desire swirling in those depths set Merlin’ s heart hammering. Cautiously, Merlin brushed a lock of hair of f Arthur ’s forehead. Before he could pull back, Arthur caught his hand, his touch a searing burn that sent fire racing up Merlin’ s veins. Arthur ’s eyelids fluttered shut, and his face dipped closer . Merlin felt as though he were rooted to the floor . Just a breath separated them, if one of them bridged that final distance. But that distance yawned as wide as a chasm. Drawing in a shuddering breath, Merlin rasped, “Gwen.” Arthur ’s eyes flew open as Merlin extricated his hand from Arthur ’s grip and stepped back. “I just wanted you to know, ” Merlin murmured to Arthur ’s stricken face. Then he fled, making his escape out the door, shouting to Lance that he would meet him at home. Merlin was sat on the couch, his face buried in his hands, when Lance joined him. He laid a comforting hand on Merlin’ s shoulder . “You’re in love with Arthur .” “You’re in love with Gwen.” Neither of them confirmed or denied it. It was superfluous, the truth was obvious enough. Merlin sighed and tried to smother himself with a cushion. “I almost kissed Arthur tonight.” “Merlin!” Lance said, sounding appalled. Merlin shot him a dirty look and threw the cushion at him. “Don’ t sound all high and mighty . As if you wouldn’ t kiss Gwen if she asked.” “Are you saying Arthur asked?” Wincing, Merlin didn’ t answer . “I also told him that we’d hooked up a few times.” Lance didn’ t press, simply tossed the cushion back to Merlin. “Yeah, ” he sighed. “I told Gwen too.” “Why did it feel like we owed them an explanation?” “I wish I knew, Merlin.” -- For a few days, the dynamic between the four of them remained stilted. For once, they behaved more like a couple and two close friends, with Arthur and Gwen paying more attention to each other than to Merlin and Lance. It didn’ t last long. Before the week was out, they fell back into old patterns, as if nothing had changed. It drove Merlin a little bit crazy, but he would take it over the heart-rending guilt of nearly kissing his best friend’ s boyfriend. Most days, it was almost easy to for get that Arthur and Gwen were a couple. But they were. And couples did tend to do couple-y things once in a while, even ones as odd as Arthur and Gwen. Merlin had texted Gwen, asking if she wanted him to bring over takeaway for dinner . He received a flustered text in response informing him that it was Gwen and Arthur ’s anniversary, so they actually had dinner reservations, just the two of them. Gwen was very apologetic they’d for gotten to tell Merlin and Lance, but they would see them tomorrow for brunch? Merlin blinked down at his phone, unexpectedly hurt at the revelation. He fired of f a response full of exclamation points and smiling emojis that reflected none of the conflict in his head. When Lance returned home after work, a bag of takeaway in hand, Merlin had a bottle of wine waiting. “Finally, ” Merlin groaned, pouring out two glasses of wine and taking a long swig. “I thought it was too pathetic to drink alone.” Lance winced in sympathy . “I hope we have more than just the one bottle.” Another swig. Merlin flapped a hand at the cabinet. “We’re well stocked.” They drank in silence, picking at the curry Lance had brought home. As Merlin was pouring his third glass, he muttered, “What the hell are we doing?” “Drinking, ” Lance said solemnly . He held out his glass for a refill, nodding approvingly when Merlin emptied the bottle. Merlin kicked Lance’ s ankle. “No, we’re being idiots, ” he declared. “Pining after people in a happy relationship.” “It’s their seven-year anniversary, isn’ t it? God, seven years.” “Seven years, ” Merlin echoed, nodding miserably . “Are we terrible people for wanting them to break up?” “Probably, ” Lance sighed. “God, Lance, they’re our friends . How could we?” Wobbling to his feet, Lance grabbed a second bottle of wine and thrust it at Merlin. “More drinking and less thinking.” Merlin was in whole-hearted agreement. Another bottle of wine later, Merlin and Lance sprawled on the couch together, each using one plush armrest as a pillow . “Do you know how much easier my life would be if I was into Gwaine?” Merlin lamented. Lance hiccuped a laugh. “That’ s how I know you’re drunk. Your life would be hell. The only thing Gwaine can commit to is a drink.” “Fine. But he could just break my heart, and I’d get over him.” “Merlin, my friend. You’ve never been good at getting over anyone. Case in point.” “This is all hypothetical, can’ t you just give me this?” Merlin whined. “Sure, Merlin. Gwaine would be your perfect match, ” Lance said obediently, hiding a smirk behind his hand. Merlin sat up and scowled. “Now you’re just insulting me.” Lance pressed his lips together, blinking innocently . Sighing, Merlin swung his legs down and flopped back against the cushions. “What would really make our lives easier is if we were in love with each other, ” he said mournfully . “No need to make that sound like a death sentence, ” Lance grumbled. “But you’re right.” “Yeah, ” Merlin murmured. “It was good the couple times we hooked up, wasn’ t it?” Lance propped himself up on his elbows and shot Merlin a fond smile. “It was great, ” he agreed. Merlin smiled back, his gaze skimming down Lance’ s form. Slowly, he shifted onto his knees on the couch and bent over with hands on either side of Lance’ s hips. Peering up hesitantly, Merlin whispered, “It could be good now too.” Surprise flickered in Lance’ s eyes. He reached out a hand to cup Merlin’ s cheek, thumb skating over Merlin’ s lips. Lance’ s breath hitched when Merlin’ s lips parted for him - a question. “Yeah, ” he breathed, lurching forward to capture Merlin’ s lips with his own. They lost themselves in each other right there on the couch, with Lance fucking Merlin half- bent over the armrest. It was more comfort than lust, each of them seeing another ’s face, trying not call another ’s name. But it was enough. For one night, it was enough. Too exhausted to drag themselves of f to bed afterwards, Merlin tugged the throw blanket over them, and they snuggled together to drift of f to sleep. The next morning, Merlin jolted awake at a loud gasp. Cracking an eye open, Merlin lifted his head of f Lance’ s chest and squinted around the room. Gwen stood in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob, the other covering her mouth. “Gwen – “ Merlin reached out a hand toward her, and the movement made the blanket flop down, revealing his bare chest underneath. Gwen’ s breath hitched on a sob. She turned and fled. The door slammed, and Lance stirred. “Merlin?” he mumbled blearily . Merlin slapped a hand over his face. Shit. -- “Gwen?” Arthur asked, alarmed when Gwen pelted into the penthouse. Gwen collapsed against the door, sucking in heaving breaths. Her eyes were wide and hurt, and they stared through Arthur . In a few quick strides, Arthur was at her side. He took hold of one of Gwen’ s arms and shook her lightly . “Gwen, are you all right?” All at once, Gwen seemed to shake herself out of it. Sending Arthur a bright, brittle smile, Gwen said, “I’m fine, Arthur .” Arthur wasn’ t buying it. “Guinevere, ” he repeated sternly . “Please tell me. Has someone hurt you? I thought you were just going to Merlin and Lance’ s?” Gwen’ s bright façade cracked. “No one’ s hurt me. They’re not coming to brunch, ” she whispered. “All right? We’ll just see them tonight then.” Gwen shook her head frantically . “No! We’re not seeing them until the party, ” she snapped. Arthur was so confused. “Our New Y ear’s Eve party tomorrow night, you mean?” “What other party is there, Arthur?” Gwen’ s voice cracked like a whip. Holding his hands up in surrender, Arthur backed away . “Whatever you want, Gwen.” After a quiet day and an awkwardly stilted dinner, Arthur finally wheedled the information out of her . A hundred emotions rushed through him all at once. He wanted to march downstairs and punch Lance in the face. He wanted to scream and cry . He wanted to demand answers from Merlin. Merlin told Arthur that he and Lance were just friends. Had that been a lie? Internally, Arthur laughed at his own hypocrisy . Merlin owed him no answers. He hadn’ t last time, and he didn’ t this time. Arthur had known for a long time he felt things for Merlin that were extremely inappropriate toward his girlfriend’ s best friend. Now, he was forced to face it. He was jealous. Arthur wholeheartedly agreed with Gwen’ s decision. They would not be seeing Merlin and Lance until they had to at the party . Honestly, Arthur had no idea how to face Merlin, but he had no choice but to put on a happy face when Merlin and Lance showed up at the door on New Y ear’s Eve, Gwaine in tow . Gwaine paid no mind to the tension, clapping Arthur on the shoulder and bounding past him toward the booze. Dawdling at the threshold, Merlin held out a plate of cookies like a peace of fering. Lance hovered at his shoulder, half-hiding, half peering guiltily inside. Playing the gracious host, Arthur accepted the cookies with a tight smile. “Please, come in.” Relief washed over Merlin’ s features. Sulkily, Arthur wondered what Merlin thought he was going to do. Bar him from the party? Merlin perched on the couch, flushed and fidgety as he talked to Lance and Gwaine. Arthur pretended he was busy with the cookies, slowly unwrapping the cling wrap and fiddling with it, smoothing out creases unnecessarily before tossing it away . He was being unfair . Sighing, Arthur squared his shoulders and went to join the conversation. To his surprise, the night went better than he’d expected. Gwaine’ s constant stream of chatter worked wonders. He even managed to get them all laughing together . As more guests trickled in, Arthur could breathe easier . Rarely was he stuck in a one-on-one conversation with Merlin, and he could survive being in the same room as the object-of-his- affections-who-had-just-fucked-someone-else for one night. As parties went, Arthur thought he and Gwen did a fairly good job. The drinks were flowing, their guests were laughing, and the cheery atmosphere never faltered. By the time the midnight countdown started, everyone was sloshed. Grins adorned every face as they shouted out the countdown. “Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!” Slinging an arm over Gwen’ s shoulders, Arthur glanced around, grinning fondly at Gwaine dramatically conducting the chant. “Six! Five! Four!” Merlin waved his champagne flute in the air, toasting to something invisible with a flourish that had Lance doubling over in laughter . “Three! Two! One!” Arthur swooped down and caught Gwen’ s lips with his own. He pulled away just in time to catch Leon dipping Mor gana in showy kiss. Wrinkling his nose, Arthur turned away, only for his stomach to drop to his feet. Merlin twirled his champagne flute between his fingers, muttering something that had Lance nodding thoughtfully . With a shrug, Merlin leaned in and planted a sloppy kiss on Lance’ s cheek. Beside him, Arthur felt Gwen stif fen. Lance and Merlin clinked glasses and continued to chat as if nothing had happened. Their relationship status clearly hadn’ t changed. Arthur glanced at Gwen and followed her gaze to Lance’ s face. Reflected in her eyes was the same barely concealed hurt in Arthur ’s heart. God, they were complete idiots. After the party wound down, Arthur and Gwen were getting ready for bed when Arthur broached the conversation. It was long overdue. “This isn’ t working anymore, is it?” Arthur asked softly . Skirt halfway down her thighs, Gwen froze. She glanced at Arthur, her gaze skimming up his bare chest and up to his face. Smiling sadly, she shook her head. “I don’ t think so.” “I’ll always love you, Gwen.” Gwen tugged on her sleep shirt and padded over to Arthur . Wrapping her arms around his waist, she leaned close and rested her forehead against Arthur ’s shoulder . Even as she pressed her cold fingers into Arthur ’s skin for warmth, a habit born of long years of familiarity, she murmured, “Me too. But I think we’re better of f as friends.” Later, curled under the covers in the darkness, Arthur said, “Lance is besotted with you, you know .” Gwen didn’ t miss a beat. “Merlin is arse over tea kettle for you, you know .” Laughter bubbled out of Arthur, uncontrollable and unstoppable. Moments later, Gwen’ s giggles joined his, and soon, they were both howling. Slowly, their laughter faded back into companionable silence. “I wonder if this could’ve been enough, ” Arthur murmured, half to himself. The covers rustled, and Gwen’ s hand touched his arm. “Not after meeting them. We would always want more.” Arthur tucked an arm under his head and stared up at the blank ceiling. Merlin’ s smiling face swam before his eyes, and unbidden, an answering smile crept its way across Arthur ’s lips. -- Arthur woke alone in bed. A text from Gwen awaited him, telling him she was meeting Lance for brunch. Smiling fondly, he texted her back with a quick ’Good luck.' He’d always admired Gwen’ s determination, and he was strangely proud it extended to this. After a few deep breaths, Arthur fired of f another text. To Merlin. ’Can I see you?’ The response was near instantaneous. ’I’ll be up in fifteen.’ Arthur bolted out of bed. He spent a good five minutes internally panicking, running through ideas of what he would say or do. Then he spent the next ten minutes brushing his teeth, fiddling with his hair, and finding an acceptable shirt and pair of trousers to wear . By the time a knock came at the door, Arthur had worked himself into a frenzy, half-formed confessions of love on the tip of his tongue. Any words he planned flew out of his head the moment he opened the door . Merlin looked positively adorable. He was still in his pyjamas, with an oversized hoodie thrown over his shirt. He looked sleep-soft and cuddly, and Arthur longed to run his fingers through his mop of tousled hair . In a daze, Arthur stepped aside to let Merlin pass, and the door fell shut with a quiet thump. Merlin waved a floppy sleeve. “Hi.” That hopeful smile was Arthur ’s undoing. Desire buzzed under his skin, the need to touch overwhelming in its intensity . In one long stride, Arthur covered the distance between them. Surrendering to his longing at last, Arthur reached across the chasm between them, one hand tangling in Merlin’ s hair, the other caressing his hip. Startled, Merlin managed to squeak “Arthur?” before Arthur ’s lips crashed against his. For one heart stopping moment, Merlin froze. Arthur ’s hand slid down to cradle the back of his neck, and Merlin melted against him. Relief sang through Arthur ’s veins, a chant of “YesMerlinY es” on loop in his mind. Merlin kissed back like his life depended on it, and Arthur drank it all in, desperate for anything Merlin would give. A sharp gasp spilled from Merlin’ s lips, and he wrenched himself free. Breath gone ragged, he rasped, “ Gwen. ” Trembling hands rose to Arthur ’s chest, then Merlin hesitated. His fingers trailed across Arthur ’s skin in a fleeting caress before he shoved Arthur away . Arthur staggered and fell back against the door . “Merlin, wait – “ Merlin drew himself up to his full height, eyes snapping with hurt fury . He jabbed a finger at Arthur, all righteous indignation. “Don’ t you dare.” The venom in Merlin’ s voice surprised Arthur, and he stuttered to a stop, wide-eyed. “Is this some game you’re playing?” Merlin practically snarled. “Is this because I slept with Lance? I know you know, Arthur .” “No – “ “I don’ t even want to hear it!” Merlin snapped. “I don’ t care who you are, Arthur Pendragon. You don’ t get to do this to me, and you do not get to do this to Gwen!” Merlin spun in a circle, clearly looking for an exit, but his frustrated gaze returned to Arthur, who was frozen in place blocking the door . “Gwen and I broke up!” Arthur shouted. Merlin made a strangled sound in his throat. “What?” he asked weakly . Tentatively, Arthur reached out a hand and touched Merlin’ s arm. Encouraged when he wasn’ t shaken of f, Arthur wrapped his fingers around Merlin’ s wrist, rubbing his thumb soothingly over where he could feel Merlin’ s pulse racing. “Gwen and I broke up last night, ” Arthur repeated softly . Merlin looked lost. “Because of me?” “Only a bit, ” Arthur admitted, of fering a crooked smile. At Merlin’ s stricken face, Arthur hastily added, “But mostly because we’re better of f as friends. It took her and I falling in love with you and Lance to figure it out.” “Oh.” “’Oh’? That’ s it?” A wobbly smile crept over Merlin’ s face. “Oh, ” he repeated. With a twist of his wrist, Merlin tangled his and Arthur ’s fingers. Eyes gone soft and wide with wonder, he stared down at their entwined hands, his thumb brushing across Arthur ’s skin. A breathless laugh tore out of Arthur ’s throat. Merlin’ s touch, featherlight and tender, had him aching for more. “Have I rendered you speechless at last?” Merlin scof fed, but his smile lit up his face when he looked at Arthur . “You’re in love with me?” Arthur ’s fingers tightened around Merlin’ s. “Yeah, ” he murmured. “Have been for a while now I think.” “And Gwen?” Merlin asked softly . Chuckling, Arthur said, “I don’ t think you have to worry about Gwen. Looking back on it, she was half in love with Lance the first day they met.” Merlin’ s lips twisted in a wry smile. “Lance was the same.” Arthur gave Merlin’ s hand an experimental tug and grinned when Merlin went willingly . He pulled Merlin close until there was barely a breath of space between them. Cupping Merlin’ s jaw, Arthur ran his thumb across Merlin’ s bottom lip, delighting in the tiny hitch in Merlin’ s breath. “I can’ t say I was much better, ” Arthur whispered. “Couldn’ t stop thinking about you ever since I first laid eyes on you.” “You acted like you hated me!” Arthur smirked. “What is it they say? Love and hate are two sides of the same coin?” Rolling his eyes, Merlin heaved a put upon sigh. “I don’ t know what I did to deserve falling in love with such a prat.” Arthur sucked in a sharp breath. “But have you?” “Have I what?” “Fallen in love with me, ” Arthur breathed. Merlin’ s expression went soft, all pretense of teasing gone. “Do you even need to ask?” Gently, he took hold of Arthur ’s hand on his cheek and brought it to his lips. “Yes.” -- Six Months Later “Arthur!” Merlin yelled, kicking at the door to the penthouse. “The door closed again!” Hurried footsteps were accompanied by Arthur ’s muf fled shout. “Coming!” Merlin huf fed impatiently and hefted the box in his arms to adjust his grip. The door flew open, a sheepish Arthur on the other side. “Sorry, I for got you went down for one more box.” A fond smile crept across Merlin’ s face. He staggered inside and dropped the box on top of one of many stacks in the living room. Moving was such a nightmare, even when it was only up a few flights of stairs. He leaned heavily against the couch, trying to catch his breath. Arthur wrapped an arm around his waist, and Merlin slumped against him gratefully . “You’re forgiven, ” Merlin said cheekily . Arthur snorted and rolled his eyes, but Merlin wasn’ t fooled. There was no hiding the soppy, adoring look in Arthur ’s eyes, especially not when he followed it up with a quick press of lips to Merlin’ s temple. “You two are adorable, ” came Gwen’ s amused voice. Blushing, Merlin peered around Arthur . Gwen stood in the hallway with her hands on her hips, an indulgent smile on her face. Just behind her, Lance was backing out of the bedroom, laden with an armful of bags. “Look who’ s talking, ” Merlin shot back, raising an eyebrow and shooting a pointed look behind her . Gwen glanced over her shoulder . She of fered a bright smile and exchanged a few quiet words with Lance. Merlin watched, amused, as Gwen tried to tug a few of the bags away while Lance stubbornly held on. After a brief tug of war, Gwen emer ged triumphant, a bag looped over either arm. Arthur huf fed a quiet laugh and whispered in Merlin’ s ear, “Lance is hopelessly besotted.” “Look who’ s talking, ” Merlin repeated, smirking. Arthur bumped Merlin’ s cheek with his nose in punishment. “It’s your fault, ” he said, as if that explained everything. “Oh?” Merlin peered at Arthur out of the corner of his eye, a coy smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I suppose I can accept that.” Arthur turned back to Gwen, who was taking one last lap around the penthouse. “Got everything, Gwen?” “I think so, ” she replied, spinning slowly in a circle. She shot Arthur a soft smile. “It’s not like I’ll be far if I’ve for gotten anything.” “It’s not like you had much to move, ” Lance piped up. “You’ve been moving your things into mine and Merlin’ s flat for months now .” “Better get used to calling it our flat instead of yours and Merlin’ s, ” Gwen teased. “How about we just call it home?” Gwen’ s face lit up, and she flung her arms around Lance’ s neck. “Home. Sounds perfect.” “Adorable, ” Merlin declared. Gwen tipped her head back and stuck her tongue out at Merlin. Merlin grinned, disentangled himself from Arthur, and strode across the room to take Gwen’ s arm. He tugged her away from Lance and enveloped her in a hug. As if sensing this was a moment just for the two of them, Lance and Arthur wandered away, and Arthur of fered to help Lance carry the bags down to his and Gwen’ s flat. Watching over Gwen’ s shoulder, Merlin smiled softly at their retreating backs. He squeezed Gwen tightly, and Gwen held on just as tight. “Who would’ve thought this is how our lives would turn out?” Merlin mused. Gwen laughed into Merlin’ s shoulder . “If you asked me two years ago where I thought I would be now, I would probably have said engaged to Arthur .” Slowly, Merlin pulled away and caught Gwen’ s eye. In a serious voice, he asked, “Gwen, are you really happy? Is this everything you wanted?” Taking Merlin by the shoulders, Gwen shook him lightly . “Stop worrying. No more feeling guilty . Merlin, I’m so very happy . Lance is everything I ever wanted and more.” Merlin wrapped Gwen in another hug. “Good, ” he said fiercely . “You deserve it.” When they parted, Gwen took Merlin’ s hands in her own. “And you?” “I’m deliriously happy, ” Merlin said, unable to help the grin spreading across his face. “I can tell, ” Gwen said, beaming. “You and Lance moving in here was the best thing that happened to both of us.” “Ready?” Lance called from the doorway . Gwen squeezed Merlin’ s hands once more, then released him and bounded out the door . “Ready!” She hugged Arthur, whispered something in his ear, and disappeared around the corner . Arthur stepped back inside the penthouse, shutting the door behind him. A wide smile on his face, he met Merlin halfway across the room with a slow, deliberate kiss. “What did Gwen say to you?” Arthur chuckled, wrapping his arms around Merlin. “She told me you’re the best thing that will ever happen to me, and to hold on tight.” Merlin threw back his head in laughter . He turned in Arthur ’s arms so his back was to Arthur ’s front, surveying his new home. Their home. “Smart woman, Gwen is.” “That she is, ” Arthur said. “But funnily enough, I’d worked that one out all on my own. I never plan on letting you go.” Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Language: English Series: Part 3 of Merlin Bingo 2023 Collections: Merlin Bingo
Published: 2023-09-26 Words: 17,592 Chapters: 1/1 How Fickle My Heart by Seravia Summary When Merlin moves back to London, he’ s delighted to be living just a few floors down from his childhood best friend, Gwen, and her boyfriend, Arthur . Merlin intends to befriend Arthur , but instead finds himself falling for him. Worse, the feeling might be mutual. Notes Fill for Merlin Bingo 2023 - Square G1 - Modern Era “Arthur!” Arthur jumped, the book in his lap tipping toward the floor . He flailed to catch it, and in the process, nearly rolled of f the couch. In the living room doorway stood his girlfriend, Gwen, grinning madly and waving her phone in the air . “Good phone call then, was it?” Arthur asked. Setting his book aside, he pulled his legs up to make room on the couch. Gwen nodded vigorously and practically skipped across the room to plop down next to him. “That was Merlin! You remember , don’ t you? My best friend from Ealdor?” “Of course, I remember , Gwen,” Arthur reassured. “You talk about him all the time.” Gwen’ s smile turned wistful. “He and I used to be inseparable before uni. Or college, I guess he would call it.” America. That was where Merlin had gone, Arthur remembered. While Gwen had stayed local for uni, Merlin had chosen to go to America, and he’d been there ever since. “Everything all right with him?” “Brilliant, actually ,” she said, face lighting up. “He called to tell me he’ s moving back in a few weeks. To London. He’s even got a job at Albion Labs, so he’ll be really close by .” Arthur shifted closer so he could wrap an arm around Gwen’ s shoulders. He dropped a kiss on top of her hair and said, “That’ s lovely .” “Yeah, it is. God, it’ s been years since I last saw him. You’ll love him, Arthur .” Arthur nodded along supportively . “I’m sure I will, Gwen.” If only either of them knew just how right Gwen would be. -- “Are you ready?” Gwen called. She stood in the entryway , tapping her foot impatiently while waiting for Arthur to emer ge. Bleary-eyed, Arthur stumbled into the living room. He’d rushed through getting dressed, pulling on whatever he could get his hands on the quickest. Gwen had been waiting for him for twenty minutes and counting. “Yeah, yeah, I’m ready ,” he grumbled. Stifling a yawn, he staggered toward the door , plucking his jacket of f the back of a chair as he went. He counted it a success to have avoided falling on his face, but he was so tired it took him three tries to get his arm in the correct sleeve. Gwen spared all of five seconds fussing over him before herding him out of the flat and into their car , chattering excitedly about seeing Merlin again. Arthur slid into the passenger side seat. Pouting, he muttered, “Who books a flight that gets in this early on a Saturday?” With an exasperated look, Gwen slid the key into the ignition. “It’s the cheapest flight he could get and still be here in time for starting his new job on Monday . Besides, it was Friday night in America when he boarded, it was smart to fly overnight.” “I know , I know ,” Arthur sighed, tipping his head back and shutting his eyes. “I just didn’ t get much sleep last night, was working pretty late.” Gwen made a sympathetic noise. “When did you get to bed? I didn’ t even wake up.” Soothing fingers carded through Arthur ’s hair . He hummed contentedly , mumbling, “Not until two in the morning.” “Take a nap while I drive to the airport,” Gwen said. She pressed a kiss to Arthur ’s cheek and teased, “Y ou’re driving home, I promise I can handle not crashing the car .” “I may take you up on that,” Arthur said drowsily . He didn’ t actually plan to fall asleep, but with the car ’s gentle rumbling and Gwen’ s humming in the background, Arthur drifted of f. The next thing he knew , Gwen was shaking his shoulder and calling his name. “Wake up, Arthur . We’re at Heathrow , we have to go meet Merlin in Arrivals.” Half in a daze, Arthur clambered out of the car . The fresh air helped clear his head, but Arthur had to slap his own cheek to shake the sleep of f. He trailed after Gwen, grateful when she tucked an arm through his to steer them in the right direction. Inside the airport, Arthur scanned the crowd, not entirely sure what he was looking for . He’d never met Merlin, only seen pictures. But even the most recent pictures were a decade old, taken when Merlin and Gwen were in sixth form. From what Arthur remembered, Merlin was scrawny and pale, all awkward gangly limbs too long for the rest of his body . Gwen was bouncing on her toes beside him, craning her neck to see past the throng of people. With an excited cry , she darted into the crowd. Damn, Gwen was fast. She slipped through the crowd easily , while Arthur struggled to follow , unsuccessfully trying to avoid colliding with anyone. By the time Arthur caught up, Gwen was already embracing a tall, dark-haired man - Merlin, he presumed. Not wanting to intrude, Arthur hung back, hands shoved in his pockets. When Gwen pulled away , she tugged Merlin around to face Arthur , and Arthur felt as if the breath had been knocked out of him. The Merlin that stood before him was a far cry from the awkward boy in those old photos. Merlin was gor geous, and he carried himself with a quiet confidence. Still tall and pale, his long limbs were now more graceful than awkward. Gone was the scrawny teenager , and in his place was a lean, attractive man with a disarming smile, directed straight at Arthur . “Arthur! This is Merlin,” Arthur dimly registered Gwen saying. Merlin extended his hand. His voice was deep and warm when he said, “Hello, Arthur . It’s nice to meet the man who stole Gwen’ s heart.” Arthur ’s heart stuttered in his chest – at Merlin’ s smile or at the reminder he was dating Gwen, he wasn’ t sure. He stared uncomprehendingly at Merlin for a few moments, then shifted his gaze to Merlin’ s outstretched hand. Merlin wavered, and Arthur chanced a look at Merlin’ s face where his grin was quickly fading into an uncertain frown. A flush crept up Arthur ’s neck, and he cleared his throat. “Hello, Merlin,” he said gruf fly, gripping the prof fered hand in a firm shake. He could feel Gwen’ s eyes on him, but deliberately did not turn to meet her gaze. “Thank you both for coming to pick me up.” Merlin smiled gratefully at Gwen and Arthur in turn. “It’s been so long since I’ve been back, and I never spent much time in London to begin with. I really appreciate you taking time out of your weekend for me.” “Nonsense,” Gwen said, tucking a hand at Merlin’ s elbow and ushering him toward the exit. “You’ve been my best friend since primary school, don’ t be a stranger . You’ve got me to take care of you, and now Arthur as well.” The three of them wound their way out of Heathrow , Merlin dragging one suitcase, and Arthur dragging a second while Merlin’ s other arm was occupied by Gwen. Merlin had tried to protest, but Gwen waved him of f, pressing the handle of the second suitcase into Arthur ’s hand. With an apologetic smile tossed over his shoulder , Merlin was led away . Arthur trailed along behind them, listening to Gwen and Merlin quietly laugh and reminisce about their childhood in Ealdor . At the car , Arthur fumbled for the keys to unlock the trunk. Merlin refused to let Arthur help him, insisting on lifting his suitcases himself to slot them neatly into the car . Muscles rippled lightly in Merlin’ s toned arms, and Arthur ’s mouth went dry at the sight. Mentally kicking himself, Arthur tore his eyes away . What was he doing? He and Gwen had been together for six years now . They met through his sister , Mor gana, who had gone to uni with Gwen. She’d introduced them once they all moved to London, and the rest had been history . Sure, Arthur had dated his share of blokes back in uni, but those days were long gone. Gwen, Arthur told himself firmly as he slid into the drivers’ seat. Gwen, he repeated in his head, casting a glance at his beautiful girlfriend beside him. He kept quiet most of the car ride, only chiming in with the appropriate noises to show he was listening. He only caught snippets of the conversation - it was hard enough keeping his focus on the road and not on Merlin’ s bright smile and impossibly blue eyes. “How is Elyan?” Merlin asked. In the rearview mirror , Arthur watched Merlin lean forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He tilted his head, absentmindedly rubbing at the thin layer of stubble on the underside of his chin. Arthur ’s eyes were helplessly drawn to the long line of Merlin’ s neck as his shirt collar fell away from his chest, giving Arthur a tantalizing peek down. It took more willpower than Arthur was willing to admit to tear his eyes away . Tipping her head back to look at Merlin, Gwen smiled fondly . “Elyan is good. He’s in London too. You might not even recognize him, he was still going through puberty when we left for uni. He’s a proper grown man now!” “You’re telling me,” Merlin said. Chuckling, he shook his head in mock horror . “I’ve seen the pictures on Facebook, makes me feel old to remember that’ s the little kid who used to run around after us on the playground.” Gwen’ s smile turned teasing, and a mischievous twinkle entered her eye. “You’re one to talk. Between the three of us, you’re the one who’ s changed the most! What happened to the awkward git who used to trip over his own feet in the school hallways?” Flushing, Merlin ducked his head and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Still as clumsy as ever , I’m afraid. But eleven years is more than enough time to grow into your own body ." Gwen twisted around and flailed at Merlin, but the seat belt locked her in place, her hand falling just short of Merlin’ s shoulder . “Don’ t play coy , I’m not blind,” Gwen mock scolded. “You’re gor geous, Merlin! You must have men and women falling all over themselves for you. I’m telling you, if you weren’ t like a brother to me…” Merlin’ s eyes darted down and away , embarrassed. Interesting. “You shouldn’ t joke, you might make Arthur jealous,” Merlin said lightly . “I’m not jealous,” Arthur said automatically . Merlin gave a tiny cough, then shot Arthur a sheepish smile. “Of course not.” “But not because Gwen’ s wrong,” Arthur blurted out, suddenly not wanting Merlin to get the wrong idea. “Because she’ s right – about you being gor geous, I mean.” Merlin’ s expression was stunned, and Gwen’ s triumphant. Arthur lapsed back into silence, cheeks burning. “Even Arthur agrees! And trust me, he has high standards,” Gwen said with a wink. “R-Right,” Merlin stammered, an unreadable look in his eyes when he met Arthur ’s gaze in the rearview mirror . Arthur cursed internally . What was wrong with him today? He was usually a very composed person, not one to get tongue-tied over a pretty face. “So, the flat,” Merlin said, clearing his throat, eyes sliding away from Arthur ’s. “Thank you for helping me find one, I had no idea where to even start. How did you manage to find one in my price range just a few floors below yours?” It was Gwen’ s turn to blush and look away . “Well, it wasn’ t hard actually ,” she admitted, toying shyly with a curl of hair . “Arthur owns the building. And that flat had been sitting vacant for about a month now .” Merlin’ s mouth dropped open. “Arthur owns the building?” “He does. One of many actually . His family is quite a big name in real estate.” “Guinevere Thomas, you gold digger!” Merlin chortled, a wicked grin on his lips. Gwen flushed bright red and strained against her seat belt to smack Merlin on the arm. “Don’ t joke, you know I would never!” “I know , I know ,” Merlin reassured. He was still snickering, but he held up his hands in a gesture of peace. “Life’ s funny sometimes, isn’ t it? We never had much growing up – Ealdor wasn’ t that kind of place anyways – but here you are, joined at the hip with Mr . Rich Bloke.” Melancholy filled Gwen’ s expression. Her eyes were fixed on her seat belt as she untangled herself and settled back properly into her seat. “Life is funny ,” Gwen said softly . “I miss those days sometimes.” Laughter petering out, Merlin’ s face twisted in sympathy . He laid a hand on Gwen’ s arm and said, “I’m an idiot, I shouldn’ t have said that. How long’ s it been since you’ve been back to Ealdor?” Gwen shook her head and covered Merlin’ s hand with her own. “Years,” she sighed. “Not since before my dad passed. Wasn’t much point in going back afterward.” “It hasn’ t changed much,” Merlin murmured. “It’s home, but I wouldn’ t go back either if it weren’ t for my mum and Uncle Gaius. I’m so sorry about your dad, Gwen. I’m sorry I wasn’ t here.” “No, Merlin, don’ t apologize. I had Elyan and Arthur , and time heals all wounds. Still sneaks up on me once in a while though. It’s probably seeing you for the first time in all these years. Dredges up all those childhood memories, you know?” “I know the feeling,” Merlin agreed. His eyes crinkled into a smile, full of warmth and affection. “It’s a good thing I’m sticking around so we’ll make some new memories then.” “I’ve missed you, Merlin. I’m glad to have you back.” “I’ve missed you too, Gwen.” -- When they arrived home, after Arthur helped Merlin carry the suitcases upstairs, no amount of insistence from Gwen would get Merlin to budge on letting them help him settle in. He waved them of f, telling them he wouldn’ t be taking up any more of their weekend, and practically shoved them out the door . But not before Gwen managed to extract from Merlin a promise that he would swing by the following Saturday to meet their friends. Gwen popped in on Merlin a few times throughout the week, bringing him all manner of food, from pasta to cookies, to ensure he was doing all right. But Arthur didn’ t see Merlin again until he opened his front door to him on Saturday . “Hi,” Merlin said with a small wave. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders hunched, and he peered up at Arthur through his lashes nervously . Arthur swallowed hard. Something about the way Merlin looked at him stole all the breath from his lungs. “Hi, Merlin. Come in,” he said hoarsely . Merlin stepped inside, toed of f his shoes, and promptly jumped at the five pairs of eyes that swiveled to him. “He-Hello,” Merlin stammered. “Am I late?” Gwen had been perched on a couch armrest, but when she saw Merlin, she sprang to her feet and bounded over , linking their arms and presenting him with a flourish. “Not late at all, you’re our guest of honor ,” Gwen declared, beaming. “Everyone, this is Merlin.” There was a chorus of variations of “Hi, Merlin,” accompanied by a wolf whistle that had Arthur rolling his eyes. “Merlin, these are mine and Arthur ’s friends,” Gwen said. She pointed at each person as she introduced them. “This is Leon, Gwaine, and Mor gana. And you know Elyan, of course.” A broad smile on his face, Elyan strode over , and Merlin pulled him into a hug. “It’s good to see you, Elyan. Not to sound like your grandmother , but god, you’ve grown up so much,” Merlin said, shaking his head in wonder as he looked Elyan up and down. Elyan laughed and clapped Merlin on the back. “It’s good to see you too, Merlin. Welcome back.” “Thanks, mate. Guess I’ve got to stop thinking of you as Gwen’ s little brother!” Wrinkling his nose, Elyan darted a glance at Gwen, who looked back with a raised eyebrow . “Pretty sure I’ll always be that, especially to you. But I’ve learned that’ s not so bad over the years.” “That’ s because you have a fantastic sister ,” Gwen snif fed. She tried to look stern, but in no time at all, the corners of her lips quirked up into a smile. “Couldn’ t ask for a better one. Right, Elyan?” Merlin slung an arm over Gwen’ s shoulders and shared a smirk with Elyan that quickly transformed into a frown. “But what did you mean by ‘guest of honor ’?” Gwen tried to duck away , but Merlin held fast, an accusing glare pinned on Gwen. “This might have been meant to be a ‘welcome home’ party ,” she admitted. “Gwen! Your friends don’ t even know me!” “They do now!” A laugh bubbled out of Merlin. “Only you, Gwen,” he said, bumping the side of her head with his own. “Only you would throw a welcome home party and invite people who have never met the guest of honor . That’ s why I love you.” Quiet chuckles rippled through the room, and Gwen smiled sheepishly . She tugged Merlin toward the rest of her friends and leaned in close to whisper , “They’ll love you Merlin, I promise.” -- Merlin didn’ t know why he doubted Gwen. She was right, of course, he got along swimmingly with her friends once the initial shock wore of f. He hit it of f with Gwaine right away . Gwaine was Arthur ’s friend from uni - warm and flirtatious, with no filter . In their first conversation, Merlin had to gently turn down Gwaine’ s advances. To his relief, Gwaine shrugged it of f, then slung an arm around Merlin’ s shoulders and declared they would be fast friends. Morgana - Arthur ’s sister - had been slightly intimidating. The nervousness faded as soon as she’d smirked and tossed out a biting but af fectionate barb at Arthur . It startled a laugh out of Merlin, and he knew right away he would love her . Sharp witted and shrewd, she was a woman after his own heart. Leon, Arthur ’s childhood friend and Mor gana’ s boyfriend, was a breath of fresh air in comparison. While Gwaine and Mor gana tended to fill the entire room with their presence, Leon was quiet and level-headed. Conversation flowed easily between them, and Merlin enjoyed Leon’ s thoughtful questions and responses. The night consisted of a flurry of activity during which Merlin was peppered with questions about his life in America, his childhood with Gwen, and what he was doing back in London. It was a bit of a whirlwind, but a pleasant one, and Merlin found that he didn’ t mind being thrown in the middle of this curious group. Arthur , on the other hand, remained standof fish through it all. Merlin tried to shrug it of f, telling himself it would improve with time. Still, he was left slightly disappointed to have made so little headway with his best friend’ s boyfriend. -- “Gwen?” Merlin called, poking his head into the penthouse. “Merlin?” Gwen’ s voice floated over to him. “Is that you?” Merlin stepped inside but dawdled in the entryway . “It’s me.” “Everything all right?” Gwen appeared, crossing the living room to take a seat on the couch. “Yes, yes, completely fine,” Merlin hastily reassured. “I was wondering if I could ask a favor?” Gwen gestured at him insistently until Merlin closed the distance. “Of course, Merlin,” Gwen said, peering up at him curiously . “Why are you so jumpy?” “Not jumpy , I just feel bad asking,” Merlin sighed. He didn’ t sit, just leaned against the back of the couch and plucked at a loose thread. “A good friend from America got a job at Albion Labs. He doesn’ t know anyone else here, and I invited him to stay with me until he finds a place. He’s flying in this week, and he lands Saturday afternoon. I haven’ t got the whole car thing sorted, and I hate to ask, but would you mind driving me to the airport?” A smile twitched at Gwen’ s lips. “Oh, Merlin. What did I say about not being a stranger? I don’t mind at all.” Merlin let out the breath he was holding in relief. “You’re the best, Gwen.” “I know ,” Gwen said, flashing a cheeky smile. “So who’ s the friend?” Merlin plopped down on the couch and leaned back against the armrest, facing Gwen. “His name’ s Lance, I’m sure I’ve mentioned him. We met in freshman year of college, and we’ve studied in the same city ever since. He and I have shared a flat for years now .” Snapping her fingers in recognition, Gwen said, “Oh, yes, I remember . I look forward to meeting him. When does his flight land?” “Three in the afternoon on Saturday .” -- When Saturday morning came, Merlin’ s phone vibrated with an incoming call from Gwen. “Merlin!” Gwen sounded breathless on the other end of the line. Alert, Merlin hopped up and started for the door . “Everything all right?” “Yes, yes,” Gwen said distractedly . “I’m sorry , Merlin, I got called into work today unexpectedly . But Arthur will be here and he’ll take you to the airport to pick up Lance, all right?” “Oh, you don’ t have to – “ “Nonsense,” Gwen cut him of f. “It’s no trouble, just come knock on the door at two, and Arthur will be here.” “Gwen – “ “Got to go, I’m running late already . Bye, Merlin!” A beep announced the end of the call, leaving Merlin to stare at the phone in his hand. “Bye, Gwen,” he muttered, trepidation mounting at the thought of being alone in the car with Arthur . But when two o’clock rolled around, Merlin did as Gwen asked - amid some internal grumbling - and knocked on the penthouse door . The door flew open, revealing a harried Arthur on the other side. “Ready?” Arthur said brusquely . Merlin bristled but plastered a pleasant smile on his face. Arthur was doing him a favor , after all. “Ready when you are.” While waiting for Arthur to lock up, Merlin tapped a restless finger against his thigh. Arthur made a vague gesture toward the stairs, and Merlin seized the opportunity to lead the way . He didn’ t want to end up staring awkwardly at the back of Arthur ’s head while they descended a million sets of stairs. As it was, their conversation, if it could even be called that, was uncomfortable and stilted all the way down. It did not bode well for the car ride. When they got on the road, Merlin tried to make polite conversation, asking how Arthur ’s day was going, asking after his job, and thanking him for being his chauf feur. He received little in the way of responses. Nothing blatantly rude, but certainly nothing indicating any interest in continuing the conversation. Finally , Merlin snapped, “Look, mate, I know you don’ t like me, but we’re stuck in this car together for the next half hour , so is it too much to ask for you to stop being such a prat?” Arthur ’s mouth dropped open, and he swung around with an incredulous look on his face. The car swerved, and horns honked all around them. Flushing, Arthur scrambled at the wheel to right them in the lane. “Excuse you,” Arthur shot back. “Is this normally how you treat someone doing you a favor?” Merlin banged his head against the headrest in frustration. “No, I’m usually quite pleasant, ask your girlfriend or any of your friends. But you seem to turn into a porcupine any time you talk to me, so for give me if I’m done with getting stabbed.” Arthur huf fed and opened his mouth to retort, but no sound came out. Instead, he deflated, his fingers twitching around the steering wheel. Finally , he cleared his throat and muttered, “I don’t not like you.” Merlin stared at Arthur in disbelief. He blinked once, twice, three times, then said bluntly , “I don’t believe you.” Arthur heaved a put-upon sigh and darted a glance at Merlin. In the split second their eyes met, Merlin could see the truth in Arthur ’s words. “It’s true, I like you just fine. You’re a good friend to Gwen, and you get along with my mates, there’ s nothing not to like. I just think we’re very dif ferent people.” “Right… And you know this from the grand total of fifteen minutes we’ve spent conversing over the past few weeks?” Arthur made a frustrated noise. “You’re a physicist, I’m a businessman. You spend your time with your nose in a book, and I spend my time playing footie. You loved living in America, and you couldn’ t pay me enough to move there. We don’ t seem dif ferent enough to you?” “Sure, if you want to put people in neat little boxes like that,” Merlin retorted. “I am all of those things, but I also love musicals, history , and the near constant English rain. All things you’re partial to as well if I’m not mistaken.” “You’re not,” Arthur conceded begrudgingly . Merlin folded his arms with a satisfied smirk. “Look, I’m not saying we’re destined to be best friends, but you’re Gwen’ s boyfriend, and you seem like a decent bloke most of the time. I expect we’ll continue seeing more of each other , so I’d like to give the whole ‘being friends’ thing a go, if you can deign to do the same.” “Fine,” Arthur said. He rolled his eyes, but a reluctant smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Where do we start?” They spent the remainder of the drive bickering about everything from the merits of Broadway versus the W est End to dogs versus cats to whether dif ferent pasta shapes tasted different. It was a dynamic unlike any Merlin had experienced before. By the time they parked at Heathrow , something akin to friendship was blooming between them. With a pang of guilt, Merlin wondered if he’d made a mistake in confronting Arthur . Selfishly , he was delighted they connected. But the more they talked, the more Merlin found that he liked the way Arthur threw back his head when he laughed, the sparkle in his eyes when he came up with a particularly clever retort, and the way he made Merlin feel when their eyes met. Merlin wasn’ t blind, he’d noticed how fit Arthur was the first time they met. But he met fit blokes all the time, and it didn’ t matter that Arthur was exactly his type or that Merlin would climb him like a tree if given the chance. Arthur was Gwen’ s boyfriend, and presumably straight, so Merlin needed to shut his feelings down. -- Arthur hung back fiddling with his phone, watching yet another airport reunion between friends. This one – between Merlin and Lance – was much less emotional than the one between Merlin and Gwen, given it had only been weeks since they’d seen each other , rather than years. “Arthur , this is Lance,” Merlin said brightly , waving Arthur forward to introduce them. “Lance, this is Arthur , my friend Gwen’ s boyfriend.” “Pleased to meet you,” Arthur said, shaking Lance’ s hand warmly . “Same to you,” Lance replied. “It was very kind of you to come with Merlin to pick me up.” “Oh, I’m just the chauf feur,” Arthur said with a teasing grin at Merlin, who rolled his eyes in response. “Merlin seems to be incapable of providing his own transportation, so it’ s Arthur to the rescue.” “Oi,” Merlin protested. “I’m working on it! Besides, I asked Gwen for a ride, if anything, you’re doing her a favor , not me, you dollophead.” Shooting Merlin an incredulous look, Arthur led them toward the exit. “Dollophead? I’m certain there’ s no such word.” Merlin trotted to catch up and fell into step beside Arthur , armed with a cheeky smile. “It’s idiomatic.” “It is not.” “I assure you it is.” “Fine, describe ‘dollop head.’” “In two words?” “Yeah.” Merlin scrunched up his nose, clearly pretending to think very hard about his response. “Arthur Pendragon.” Stunned into silence, Arthur could only gape at Merlin. To his credit, Merlin managed to hold the innocent, wide-eyed expression for a full thirty seconds before his cheeks twitched with suppressed laughter . “You had me going for a while,” Arthur said, still snickering to himself as he pressed the button to unlock the trunk. When he turned around to get the luggage from Lance, he was confronted with Lance’ s curiously amused expression and with Merlin cutting in to snatch up the luggage before Arthur could. “I still stand by it,” Merlin insisted. His gaze locked with Arthur ’s, eyes twinkling with mirth and challenge. It felt as easy as breathing to continue trading gibes with Merlin as the three of them settled into the car and Arthur got them on the road. During a rare lull in the banter , Lance chimed in. “You seem good, Merlin,” he said, glancing between Arthur and Merlin with a warm smile. “This… bickering the two of you do. That’ s new. In a good way though.” “New?” Merlin asked quizzically . “Yeah, you’ve always been quick-witted, but I’ve never seen you like this with anyone else. I know Gwen is one of your closest friends, I’m glad you and her boyfriend get on so well.” The admission from someone who knew Merlin so well that Merlin was differ ent with him made Arthur ’s stomach do a funny flip flop. He squashed the feeling, but it was harder to squash the tiny thrill dancing up his spine when he noticed the pink tinge that rose to Merlin’ s cheeks. Harder still to squash was the disappointment when Merlin changed the subject. “Never mind me,” Merlin said, reaching back to jab Lance’ s arm with a finger . “How’ve you been, Lance? This is the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other since… under grad?” Jealousy sparked in Arthur ’s chest, and he mentally kicked himself. “Sounds like you two are close?” Merlin nodded. “We became friends in freshman year of college. After graduation, we decided to share a flat and have been flatmates ever since. It’s been ages since I’ve gone more than a week or two without seeing this face.” Chuckling, Lance shook his head. “It’ll be like nothing’ s changed once I move in here. We just had a six week break from each other .” “Lance is moving into the second bedroom,” Merlin explained when he caught sight of Arthur ’s confused face. “He tried to tell me he’d just need to crash for a couple weeks until he found his own place, but I have no need of two bedrooms and I’m used to living with him anyways.” A mischievous smile spread across Merlin’ s face, and he leaned close to Arthur , whispering conspiratorially , “You’ll like having Lance around, Arthur . He plays footie, and he’ll fit right in with your mates.” “Really?” Arthur blurted out. “I’m surprised a researcher like you would be the athletic type.” “After seeing those muscles, you have any doubt?” Merlin sniggered. Arthur flushed red. “Shut up, Merlin.” Lance smoothly came to Arthur ’s rescue. “I’ve been playing on and of f for years actually . Admittedly , I haven’ t had much time while doing my PhD, but I play when I can.” “You should come play with my mates and I then,” Arthur of fered. “I’ll include you next time we get together .” Lance’ s face lit up. “I’d love to.” Most of the remainder of the car ride was filled with continued discussion about footie, but as the conversation slipped into other topics, Arthur was pleasantly surprised to discover that he and Lance shared several other interests. Merlin, for his part, chimed in with his own remarks - sometimes valid, sometimes insulting, but always entertaining. By the time they arrived home, the three of them were laughing like old friends. “Why don’ t you both join myself and Gwen for dinner?” Arthur of fered once Lance’ s things were deposited in Merlin’ s flat. “Oh, we wouldn’ t want to impose,” Lance said. “It wouldn’ t be an imposition,” Arthur insisted. “We’re going to a nice Italian place down the street, we’ll just get a table for four instead of for two. Besides, Gwen would love to meet you, Lance.” Lance darted an uncertain glance at Merlin. “If you’re sure it’ s no trouble,” he said hesitantly . Merlin threw back his head in laughter . Bumping his shoulder against Lance’ s, he said to Arthur , “Come get us when you two head out? Gwen keeps telling me not to be a stranger , it’s about time I start listening to her .” -- When Merlin opened the door , Gwen and Arthur stood waiting on the other side. Gwen greeted him with a distracted, “Hi, Merlin,” while she tugged at the hem of her jacket, ineffectually trying to straighten it. Several buttons were in the wrong holes, and Merlin exchanged a quick amused glance with Arthur . “All right there, Gwen?” Merlin asked. Frowning, Gwen undid and redid each of her buttons, smoothing the front of the jacket so it would sit properly . “Shut up, I’m hungry ,” she huf fed. Merlin stifled a laugh. “Well, it’ s a good thing Lance and I are ready to go then.” “Hello there,” Lance called, peeking over Merlin’ s shoulder and waving in greeting. Two coats were draped over his arm, and Merlin took his gratefully before grabbing his keys and shrugging the coat on. “We won’ t keep Her Majesty waiting,” Merlin teased as he locked up. Gwen’ s hand shot out and seized a handful of Merlin’ s hair , tugging sharply . “Ow!” Merlin protested, flailing as he lost his balance. This was a remnant of childhood he could do without. Not to mention this used to hurt a lot less when he and Gwen were the same height. “Ignore Merlin. It’s very nice to meet you, Lance,” Gwen said, dancing out of Merlin’ s reach with an innocent smile. Grumbling, Merlin rubbed at the sore spot on his head. “Oh yes, whatever my queen commands.” “No one calls me that anymore,” Gwen whined. “How fortunate that I’m back to remind you!” Gwen looked over her shoulder and stuck her tongue out at Merlin. Merlin stuck his tongue out right back. “You two are literal children,” Arthur snorted. Merlin narrowed his eyes at him, and Arthur hastily covered his mouth with a hand, but it did nothing to hide the amusement twinkling in his eyes. Lance looked between the three of them, mystified. “I feel as though I’m missing something.” “When we were kids, Gwen got it into her head that she was ‘Queen Guinevere’,” Merlin explained. “Loved to play pretend where Elyan and I were her subjects. The fact that my name is ‘Merlin’ made it far too easy .” It was Lance’ s turn to snort in laughter . “Oh, that’ s precious.” “That’ s one word for it,” Merlin said, rolling his eyes. Gwen groaned and he swung around to her. “I don’ t know what you’re complaining about, you could’ve gone your entire life without being ‘Queen Guinevere’, it’ s me that could never have avoided association with Merlin the magician. My name is Merlin for god’ s sake!” “We were kids!” “Mhmm,” Merlin hummed. His gaze fell on Arthur , who was still trying to suppress his laughter , and a brilliant idea came to him. “But then again, Gwen… you are dating an ‘Arthur ’ so maybe you had it right all along.” Arthur made a choked of f sound and froze as three pairs of eyes fixed on him. “Whoa, whoa,” he said, slowing raising his hands in a gesture of peace. “This isn’ t about me.” A wicked smile spread across Merlin’ s lips. “Come on, are you two telling me that no one has joked about King Arthur and Queen Guinevere to you?” “Elyan has,” Gwen grumbled, pouting and folding her arms across her chest. Merlin doubled over in laughter . “I ought to thank him the next time I see him,” he choked out between laughs. “We’re here!” Arthur announced, hauling Gwen inside. Merlin was still quietly snickering by the time they were seated at their table. As they perused the menu, Lance said nonchalantly , “I don’ t know why you’re so triumphant, Merlin. Aren’ t the three of you Arthur , Merlin, and Guinevere now?” Betrayed, Merlin squawked in outrage. “Why aren’ t you on my side?” he sputtered. “I see you hadn’ t thought about that.” Arthur cut in, “Actually , the four of us make quite a group. Lance wouldn’ t be short for Lancelot, would it?” Lance’ s mouth dropped open. The four of them stared at each other in wide-eyed silence before bursting into laughter . “No, no, Lance isn’ t short for anything,” Lance gasped. Arthur ’s face was buried in his hands, shoulders shaking with laughter . Gwen clutched at Arthur ’s back, shaking along with him as she attempted to muf fle her giggles in his shirt. She waved a hand and said, “This conversation has already gone on way too long. I think this should be our cue to never speak of it again.” “Truce,” Merlin declared, extending a hand across the table. “Truce.” Merlin and Gwen shook hands solemnly , then dissolved into one last round of giggles. After placing their orders with a waiter who shot them a series of odd looks, Gwen turned her attention to Lance. “Lance, so sorry to subject you to that piece of history .” Chuckling, Lance shot a sideways glance at Merlin. “No apologies necessary . I’m used to Merlin and his oddities.” “Oi,” Merlin grumbled, glaring half-heartedly . Gwen flashed Merlin a grin. To Lance, she said, “It’ s really very nice to meet you. Merlin speaks of you often, I feel as though I know you already .” “Yes, you as well,” Lance said warmly . “I’m pleased to have the chance to meet you in person. I hear you’ve been a lifesaver since Merlin moved in. I’m grateful, it’ s been a massive help to me by extension.” “Just helping out a friend.” Gwen’ s cheeks flushed pink, her hands fluttering to her hair , then her jacket before she folded them in her lap. “I hope I’m not being rude, but I have to ask. Your accent… did you grow up here, Lance? It’s just that you don’ t sound like an American.” “You could say that,” Lance replied. “I grew up in Surrey , but after primary school, my dad’ s job transferred him to America. My mum and I moved with him. This is me of ficially moving back.” “That explains it! Your parents are still in America then?” “Afraid not,” Lance said softly . “They passed away a few years ago.” Gwen’ s face crumpled in sympathy . “I’m so sorry .” Merlin gripped Lance’ s shoulder tightly . “It was a car accident. We were in junior year of college,” he explained. It was still a hard topic for Lance to talk about, so when Merlin could, he tried to save him the breath. Gently , Gwen laid one hand over Lance’ s. “It’s not much, but I understand,” she murmured. “My father passed away a few years ago as well. Illness, so I had time to prepare, but it doesn’ t make it hurt any less.” Lance’ s eyes were sad, but there was a glimmer of a smile on his lips. He turned his hand over and squeezed Gwen’ s gratefully . “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Arthur touched the small of Gwen’ s back, and she leaned into it. “I still have my younger brother , Elyan,” she said, withdrawing her hand to stroke Arthur ’s arm with a smile. “Arthur as well.” As Gwen and Lance continued to exchange stories of their loss, Arthur drew Merlin into conversation, giving them the space to grieve without intrusion. “I think this is good for her ,” Arthur said quietly , darting a glance at Gwen’ s melancholy expression. “I was there for her when her dad passed, but I’ve never been through it myself.” “Yeah,” Merlin murmured. “It was the same for me with Lance.” “My mother died giving birth to me,” Arthur confessed. “It’s not that I’m a stranger to grief, but it’ s not the same.” Merlin’ s eyes widened - he was touched Arthur would share such a personal story with him. Affection sur ged in his chest, and Merlin said, “I never knew my father . He left not long after I was born.” Their gazes locked, and for a moment, it felt as if they understood each other perfectly . Arthur broke away first, shaking himself and changing the subject. “Let’ s not bring down the mood even more. Do you like Italian?” Merlin perked up. He glanced around the restaurant, taking in the cozy atmosphere and the twinkling lights. “I love it. This restaurant is lovely , so quiet and homey .” A grin broke out across Arthur ’s face, and his eyes lit up. “That’ s exactly what I say! It’s the best kind of place, not like those huge chains that pack in as many tables as they can fit.” Chin propped on one hand, Merlin watched Arthur babble on, endeared by his excitement and the sparkle in his eyes. Still, he couldn’ t resist throwing in one gibe. “’Do you like Italian?’” Merlin mimicked. “You didn’ t think to ask that before we came to dinner here? What if I said no?” Arthur sputtered indignantly . “I told you we were going to an Italian restaurant when we got back from the airport! You had more than enough time to say otherwise.” “Maybe I was just being polite.” “Right, as if,” Arthur snorted. “How rude,” Merlin gasped dramatically and clapped a hand over his heart. “I know you are,” Arthur shot back, all smug condescension. Under the table, Merlin aimed a kick at Arthur ’s shoe, then leaned forward, challenging. “You have not known me nearly long enough to say things like that.” Arthur mirrored him, resting his elbows against the table. “But somehow I feel as if I’ve known you all my life.” Any retort Merlin had evaporated into smoke. Arthur was distractingly close. His blue eyes were inches away , his smirk was far too flirty , and Merlin swore he could catch a faint whif f of Arthur ’s intoxicating cologne. “Y-Yeah,” Merlin stammered. Slowly , the smirk faded from Arthur ’s lips, and his gaze drifted lower . Merlin’ s mouth went dry, and his pulse roared in his ears. Worse, he didn’ t think he was imagining the pull between them. A peal of laughter rang out, and Merlin and Arthur sprang apart. Arthur ’s chair scraped sharply against the floor , and he gripped the table edge to avoid tipping backward. Merlin stared down at this plate, gulping down shaky breaths, fighting down the heat creeping up his neck. When he looked up, he couldn’ t help but notice Arthur looked equally flushed and flustered. Beside them, Gwen and Lance paid them no mind. Gwen was giggling, a hand over her mouth. Lance was grinning as well, whispering what sounded like the tail end of a story . Merlin was hardly paying attention to the words coming out of Lance’ s mouth, too focused on the way Gwen and Lance leaned into each other ’s space, heads bent close together . Their conversation had clearly moved past grief, and the two must have found something else to bond over . Fantastic. But Merlin had seen that look on Lance’ s face before, and he could see the writing on the wall. Lance was a romantic. When he fell, he fell hard and fast. But that way lay heartbreak. Arthur didn’ t seem to mind, or perhaps he hadn’ t caught on. He was fiddling with his phone, not even watching the scene before them unfold. Merlin let out a breath he didn’ t know he was holding, but worry settled in the pit of his stomach. -- With some distance from that first dinner , Merlin tried to put it the entire incident out of his mind. It didn’ t mean anything. It couldn’ t. Perhaps he’d imagined the looks between Gwen and Lance. Perhaps he’d imagined the sparks between him and Arthur . After that night, things settled into a semblance of a routine. Since the four of them lived just floors apart, Gwen was forever pushing them together , insisting on Merlin spending more time with her boyfriend and on herself spending more time with Merlin’ s other best friend. It was all very normal and innocent, absolutely nothing to worry about. Merlin and Lance had a standing invitation to join Gwen and Arthur for dinner any time they wanted. But best friend or not, Merlin seriously doubted she wanted them underfoot all the time. Her and Arthur might live in the penthouse – which was a huge, gor geous space – but it was still her and her boyfriend’ s home. No couple wanted a constant third and fourth wheel. Despite Merlin’ s best ef forts to lay low , Gwen strong-armed him into agreeing to dinner every Friday . It wasn’ t that Merlin didn’ t want to go. The four of them got on incredibly well. But the more time they spent together , the harder it became to put on the brakes. One weekly dinner snowballed into several, then into nearly every night. Before Merlin even realized what was happening, their nightly routine became dinner and telly in the penthouse. They even had a rotating schedule of who cooked dinner which day and which days they ordered takeaway . It was terribly domestic, and Merlin kind of loved it. He’d even almost convinced himself it was quite normal that he and Lance saw Arthur and Gwen nearly as much as Arthur and Gwen saw each other . Later , Merlin would blame it on the fancy wine, or maybe his own exhaustion, but on a night no dif ferent than any other , Merlin was suddenly struck with the realization of how truly odd their situation was. Arthur had the day of f, so he’d put together a herb crusted rack of lamb for dinner along with some roasted potatoes and carrots. Despite being rich and posh, the kind of person who grew up with a cook in his childhood home, Arthur was a fantastic cook. Merlin thought it was immensely unfair for one person to be so good at everything. Dinner was delicious, and after Merlin and Lance finished tidying up, they made their way into the living room, ready to spend the rest of their night sprawled on the couch in front of the telly . In the entrance to the living room, Merlin froze as he saw the scene with new eyes. Arthur and Gwen had settled in their usual spots on the sectional. Gwen preferred the corner , and Arthur sat beside her . She was curled up with her back against one cushion, and her knees were bent so she could tuck her toes under Arthur ’s thigh. Which left enough space for one person to sit comfortably on Arthur ’s right, and another to sit on Gwen’ s left. Lance breezed past Merlin and plopped down in his usual seat beside Gwen, already recounting a story that brought a smile to Gwen’ s face. Merlin’ s usual seat, beside Arthur , sat empty and waiting for him. “Sit down, Merlin,” Arthur called in a fondly exasperated tone and patted the cushion next to him. Merlin sat. It wasn’ t as if one could divine meaning from a particular seating arrangement and, from there, make a judgment on the state of the relationships between the four of them. No, the problem was how the night progressed afterwards. While they always started the night as a group, chatting away around the dinner table, somehow they always ended up breaking into pairs. It only made sense, right? One would think they would find something to watch, Arthur and Gwen would cuddle up together , and Merlin and Lance would chat amongst themselves. And of course, when there was something to share, the four of them would talk, laugh, and joke as a group. But, no. No, Arthur spent the night bantering with Merlin, squeezed into Merlin’ s personal space, even while he had a hand loosely wrapped around Gwen’ s ankle. As he did every night . Constantly , Arthur whispered quips in Merlin’ s ear, and the two of them ended up snickering about joke after inside joke. Gwen spent the night leaning the other way , her and Lance’ s heads bent toward each other . A constant stream of whispers and laughs came from them. No dif ferent than any other night. Each of them barely paid any mind to the people on the other side of the couch. Merlin wondered if he was the only one who noticed. It could be innocent, right? Maybe Merlin was just reading too much into things. The next night, it was Merlin’ s turn to cook. As Arthur and Gwen tidied up in the kitchen, Merlin dragged Lance with him into the living room, and plopped himself down in Gwen’ s spot. Lance shot Merlin a funny look. When he opened his mouth to speak, Merlin gave his arm a sharp yank, and Lance tipped over into the seat next to Merlin. It left a whole side of the couch empty . When Arthur and Gwen returned, they blinked in confusion, seemingly baf fled about where they were supposed to sit. With some hesitation, they sat down next to each other in the space Merlin purposely left for them. Merlin spent the night actively trying to engage Lance in conversation more than Arthur . It was awkward as hell. Merlin couldn’ t recall the last time he had this much trouble holding an easy conversation with the particular people in this room. Halfway through their show , Merlin of fered to make tea. When he and Lance brought back the brewed tea, Gwen and Arthur had shifted into their usual positions, leaving Lance and Merlin no choice but to do the same. The tension in the room dissipated, and with that small change, they all found their stride again. Arthur with Merlin. Lance with Gwen. Merlin still thought it odd that where they sat made such a dif ference, but he let it go. Perhaps it really was him reading too much into things. Maybe it was his own heavy-handed meddling that had made the evening so awkward. As if they were making up for lost time from the first half of the evening, the four of them ended up so engrossed in their conversations that they left Netflix up and running for far longer than usual. Merlin and Lance tended to migrate back to their flat by ten p.m. most nights, since each of them needed to get ready for work the next morning. But this time, when Netflix prompted them with its “Are you still watching?” message, Merlin had to stifle a yawn. He glanced at his phone and was shocked to see twelve thirty-seven a.m. flash on his screen. It was far too late for them to still be here. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Merlin leaned over to try and catch Lance’ s eye. He stopped in his tracks – Gwen had fallen asleep on Lance’ s shoulder , and Lance’ s cheek was pillowed on top of her head, eyes closed. Merlin bit his lip and glanced at Arthur , hoping this had somehow escaped his notice. Lucky for Lance and Gwen, it had. But only because Arthur was also asleep, slumped back against the cushions, one hand splayed out, reaching toward Merlin. Merlin was torn. On the one hand, staying here all night and waking up like this was a recipe for disaster . On the other hand, he very much would like to curl up next to Arthur and plead unconsciousness the next morning for the awkward position they were sure to find themselves in. A yawn escaped him. Merlin was very tired. And this couch was very comfortable. Hesitantly , Merlin inched back until he was reclined against the cushions. Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a minute… Merlin peeked an eye open. None of his companions stirred. Against his better judgment, Merlin scooted closer to Arthur . Very gently , he pushed Arthur ’s hand back toward him, then rested his own hand over Arthur ’s and leaned his head on Arthur ’s shoulder . “Mmm,” Arthur mumbled. Merlin froze. Instead of waking up, Arthur shifted closer . Merlin let out a tiny sigh of relief. Now , maybe he really would rest his eyes for a bit… Just for a few minutes though, he should still wake everyone… “Shit!” Merlin jolted awake, smacking his head into something hard. “Ow,” Arthur groaned. Rubbing the tender spot on the back of his head, Merlin glanced around. Oh no, he was still in the penthouse, and it was clearly morning… Arthur was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with one hand while the other rubbed the underside of his chin. Merlin winced. So that was what he’d smacked into. Speaking of… On the other side of the couch, Lance and Gwen had leaped to their feet and were frantically patting their clothes and hair . “Shit, shit, shit,” Gwen muttered. “I’m so late for work!” “I am too,” Lance groaned, slapping his own cheek. “I was meant to be in an hour ago.” The two of them dashed away - Gwen for the bathroom, and Lance out the door . Merlin blinked sleepily after them. Was it his imagination or were they both blushing? “Guess it pays of f to not be an early bird,” Arthur said, nudging Merlin’ s arm. “What time is it?” Arthur checked his phone, then turned the screen toward Merlin. “It’s nine twenty-five.” Breathing a sigh of relief, Merlin sank back into the couch. “Figures. Lance is usually at work by eight.” Arthur nodded, shooting a worried glance at the closed bathroom door . “Gwen too. She’s almost always the first one in.” “Overachievers,” Merlin said with a mock exasperated shake of his head. Arthur snorted. “You’re one to talk, Dr. Emrys.” “Fine, but I didn’ t say I’m late,” Merlin retorted. “I might have a PhD, but I value my sleep.” “We may have just found another thing we have in common.” Merlin rolled his eyes. “I just don’ t like to get up at the crack of dawn to cram myself in the tube. I still have to get ready for work, so I admit I’ll be a little late today , but I usually leave around this time.” “Oh,” Arthur said, blinking at Merlin in surprise. “Me too. I work late a lot, and I get to avoid traffic if I leave after nine. Do you need a ride?” “Thought you didn’ t want to be a chauf feur?” Merlin teased. Chuckling, Arthur rose to his feet and stretched his arms over his head. His shirt rode up, revealing a sliver of skin that Merlin would very much like to lick. “You’re not so bad, Emrys.” Merlin’ s head snapped up, his cheeks turning pink when he realized he had been staring. “Hmm? Right, same to you.” Smirking, Arthur strode away toward the bedroom. “Meet me outside in twenty , and I’ll drive you,” he called over his shoulder . It took Merlin a full minute to process what had just happened. When his brain caught up, he scrambled of f the couch and raced back to his own flat to change. After rush hour or not, Merlin still didn’ t fancy taking the tube when he had a perfectly good offer of a ride in a comfortable car . What he hadn’ t expected was for the one-time of fer to turn into a pattern. Though he never had before, every few days, he would now run into Arthur on the way to work. And unfailingly polite as Arthur was, each time he would shuf fle Merlin into his car where they would proceed to have a spirited twenty-minute ride to Albion Labs, sniping at each other the entire way . Before Merlin knew it, every few days turned into every day . Merlin knew he was in trouble when he found himself leaning against the wall outside the entrance to the building, waiting a full fifteen minutes for a ruf fled Arthur to emer ge, an apology on his lips for being late. His morning commute quickly – too quickly – became Merlin’ s favorite part of the day . Even while Merlin scolded himself for jumping through mental hoop after hoop to explain away the amount of time he spent with Arthur , Merlin said nothing about Gwen and Lance doing the same. They were all playing with fire. — Merlin was in his of fice at Albion Labs, his back to the door . He had been preparing his research for weeks to give an important presentation on his findings to his department head that afternoon. A knock came at the door . “Come in,” Merlin called distractedly . “Dr. Emrys?” Merlin twisted around - one his assistants had poked her head in. “Mar got, how can I help you?” Margot smiled sheepishly and pointed at a shelf near the back of the of fice. “I left my things in here earlier . Is now a good time for me to grab them?” Following her finger , Merlin spotted a stack of papers along with an iced cof fee that weren’ t his. “Certainly , come right in.” By the time Mar got ducked inside and gathered her things, Merlin had turned back to his work, already back to mentally running through his presentation. Absorbed as he was in his work, Merlin completely failed to register Mar got scurrying past him to leave. When he took a step back, he bodily collided with Mar got. A high-pitched yelp. Papers fluttering through the air . A shock of ice-cold liquid down his back. At a loss for words, Merlin stood in the middle of his of fice, dripping iced cof fee while a flustered Mar got babbled apologies and tried inef fectually to dab him dry with a single damp napkin. Merlin blinked down at himself. Already , he could see cof fee seeping around the sides of his white shirt. Near tears, Mar got cried, “I’m so sorry , Dr. Emrys!” Merlin snapped out of it, mustering up a smile and gently pushing her hand away . “Mar got, Margot, it’ s fine,” he said as soothingly as he could. “I’ll just have to find another shirt.” “But your presentation!” “Will be fine,” Merlin said, thanking god his voice didn’ t crack. “It would be lovely if you could clean this up for me, but if you’ll excuse me?” “Yes, yes,” Mar got said, nodding fervently . “I’m so sorry , Dr. Emrys. Please let me know if I can help!” Merlin managed one last reassuring smile. Once his of fice door was shut behind him, Merlin broke into a run toward Lance’ s office. He barreled inside, wailing, “Lance, help!” Alarmed, Lance shot to his feet. He took in Merlin’ s disheveled appearance and cursed softly when Merlin spun around, waving his arms frantically to gesture at his back. “Shit, Merlin. What happened?” “Mar got’s cof fee spilled all over me,” Merlin groaned and buried his face in his hands. Gently , Lance plucked at the fabric of Merlin’ s shirt, wincing when cof fee dripped to the floor . Merlin grabbed Lance by the shoulders and shook him. “Please tell me you have a spare shirt. Please. ” Lance rummaged through his of fice, but he came up empty . “I’m sorry , Merlin. I don’ t. But don’t worry , we’ll figure something out, all right?” “Oh god,” Merlin whimpered. “I can’ t fuck up this presentation.” “We’ll find the closest clothing store,” Lance soothed, gingerly patting a clean section of Merlin’ s shirt. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see.” Merlin perched on the edge of a chair , lightly banging his forehead against Lance’ s desk. He was careful not to lean back, Lance didn’ t need cof fee soaked cushions. “We’re saved!” Merlin’ s head shot up. “You’ve found a store?” Lance shook his head but held out his phone triumphantly . “Gwen is going to save us. She says she has some of Arthur ’s shirts in the car from the dry cleaners. Her of fice is only a few minutes walk away , so she’ s going to run over now .” “Gwen, my savior ,” Merlin cried. Merlin had been so wrapped up in his own panic that he hadn’ t even thought to question why Lance and Gwen texted with such frequency that Lance immediately told her what happened. The shirts all ended up being a little bit too big for Merlin, but they saved his ass. Of course, he had a whole dif ferent problem of trying to put out of his head that it was Arthur ’s shirt he was wearing. But really , that was a minor problem compared to the crisis averted. If one shirt mysteriously went missing when Merlin returned the shirts to Gwen, that was Merlin’ s own business. To thank Gwen, Merlin insisted on taking her and Lance out to lunch. The three of them had a great time, and they all agreed they should do this more often. So they did. Somewhere along the way , it became routine for Gwen to drop by Albion Labs for the three of them to go to lunch together . To make things easier for all of them, they worked out a schedule in which they ate together every T uesday , Thursday , and Friday . From time to time, Merlin would be too busy to make their standing lunch date. But Gwen and Lance never did. A few months after their tradition started, Merlin was roped into a project with a compressed timeline. For an entire six weeks, Merlin was buried in work - he arrived at work early , left late, and ate a hurried lunch at his desk. But Merlin was quite sure Gwen was coming by for lunch more often? In fact, every time Merlin bumped into Lance after lunch hour , Lance was smiling from ear to ear . Merlin wasn’ t an idiot. His friends weren’ t either . As his best friend, Lance was the one Merlin usually shared his musings with. Lance was the most level-headed person he knew , and this was exactly the kind of situation in which he would know what to say . Except this particular situation had become so irrevocably tangled that he didn’ t know where to start. If he even should start. What could he possibly say? Lance, mate, maybe stop trying to pull Gwen since she has a boyfriend? No, what do you mean, I’m not mooning over Arthur , you’re crazy . So, Merlin kept his mouth shut and ignored the ever -present sinking feeling in his stomach each time the four of them gravitated toward the wrong people. -- A text from Gwaine flashed on Merlin’ s phone. ’Club tonight?’ Merlin smiled fondly . Over the months since his move to London, he and Gwaine had become good friends. Gwaine was constantly on the prowl for something fun to do – usually involving a pub or a club – so almost every weekend, Merlin found himself with an invitation from Gwaine to join him. He didn’ t accept very often, preferring to spend his time curled up with a book or sat watching telly with Arthur , Gwen, and Lance. But once in a while, usually when Merlin could feel his inadvisable crush on Arthur spiraling out of control, he would force himself to go out with Gwaine on the pull. This felt like one of those times. On impulse, Merlin texted back that he and Lance would be there. Maybe he was projecting his own feelings, but things between Lance and Gwen felt like they were tipping dangerously in the wrong direction. When Merlin told Lance, Lance had tried to put up a fight, subtly complaining about an early start in the morning until Merlin flatly reminded him they had the next day of f. In no mood to deal with excuses, Merlin gave Lance exactly five more seconds to flounder before marching to the closet and rummaging for appropriate clubbing wear . “It’ll be good for both of us,” Merlin insisted as he glared Lance into submission. Despite the reluctant start, Lance brightened once they’d downed a few drinks and hopped on the dance floor . They were at The Green Knight, a club only a fifteen-minute walk from Merlin and Lance’ s flat. Merlin was having a great time. This was a great way to for get about Arthur . …Damn. Whenever Arthur ’s face floated before his eyes, Merlin threw himself into dancing with a renewed vigor . Lance and Gwaine were both fantastic dance partners, especially without any romantic entanglements weighing down their interactions. But a club was a club, and none of them were short of partners seeking their company . A curvy brunette quickly caught Gwaine’ s eye. She sidled up to Gwaine, and after a couple minutes of grinding against each other , Gwaine dipped her and planted a showy kiss on her lips. With a saucy wink at Merlin and Lance, Gwaine disappeared into the crowd, the brunette clinging to his hand. Lance needed a bit of time to warm up to the men and women trying to catch his attention, but even he was drawn to a tall blonde who tapped him on the shoulder . He spun her , wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her back against his front. They swayed together , and he relaxed into it when the woman tipped her head back and pulled him down for a kiss. She whispered something in his ear , then took him by the hand, tugging shyly . When Lance turned to shoot an apologetic look at Merlin, the blonde met Merlin’ s gaze and flashed a friendly smile. Immediately , Merlin saw what broke through Lance’ s barriers. She had kind brown eyes, and the warmth in her smile was all Gwen. Merlin bit his lip. A little worried, he kept an eye on Lance as he followed the woman of f the dance floor . He needn’ t have worried. They slid into a booth and the woman climbed into his lap, wasting no time in kissing the breath from Lance’ s lips. A tiny chuckle escaped Merlin. He couldn’ t say if Lance was thinking about Gwen or not, but judging by where his hands were, Lance was just fine. “Need some company?” a voice shouted in Merlin’ s ear. Merlin whirled around, nearly tripping over his own feet. A set of warm hands steadied him, and Merlin found himself looking into a handsome face with pretty blue eyes, framed with golden blond hair . Heart pounding, Merlin almost blurted out, “Arthur?” He bit his tongue. It was just another gor geous blond bloke. Inwardly , Merlin blamed Arthur for his new taste in men. It was exceedingly unfair . How was he supposed to get over Arthur like this? He gave the bloke a quick once-over and decided, “He’ll do.” Aloud, with a flirtatious smirk, Merlin said, “Are you of fering?” The bloke grinned and made his answer clear by winding his arms around Merlin and pulling them flush together . Merlin wasn’ t complaining. He’d been behaving like a shameless tease all night, so he’d had plenty of of fers, but none he’d been interested in. Even Gwaine had raised an eyebrow at him at one point when Merlin had gotten slightly too carried away . One particular bloke had looked about five seconds from coming in his pants when Merlin patted his chest and sent him of f. The man hobbled of f the dance floor in the direction of the loo… Merlin felt a little bad about that one. This bloke though… well if he couldn’ t have Arthur , what was the harm in having a little fun with the next best thing? Merlin danced as if he wanted to fuck right there on the dance floor - full of grinding hips, sloppy kisses, and wandering hands. The bloke’ s breath was hot against Merlin’ s ear, panting, “Do you want to go – “ “ – get of f?” Merlin cut him of f. He was willing to bet the bloke was about to invite him back to his place, but Merlin wasn’ t interested in leaving with him. “Saw a private toilet in the back.” Clearly not about to turn down the chance, the bloke snapped his mouth shut and nodded. “Lead the way .” In the toilet, Merlin let the bloke press him against the wall, let himself be swept away in the sensation of kisses and the bloke’ s mouth around his cock. After he’d tucked himself back in, Merlin returned the favor , too focused on the uncomfortable tile beneath his knees to much enjoy it. After they parted ways, Merlin met back up with Lance. By silent mutual agreement, they headed back toward their flat. Neither said much, both lost in their own thoughts. The cold night air was sobering, and Merlin just wanted to go home and brush his teeth to wash away the bitter taste of come lingering in his mouth. But as Merlin stared up at the night sky , he couldn’ t help but think it was still better than the taste of rejection. -- Merlin was alone in his flat, sprawled like a starfish on the couch. Lance was away until mid-Saturday , traveling for a conference for his research. Gwen was busy too. The non-profit she managed was hosting a gala, and she wouldn’ t be home until the wee hours of the morning. And Arthur… well, Arthur was home too, Merlin knew . So Merlin found himself staring up at the ceiling, phone dangling from his fingers, a half- written response to a text from Gwaine lit up on the screen. Gwaine had invited him to go clubbing again, and Merlin could not make up his mind. On the one hand, it would take his mind of f Arthur , and he could stop pining like a schoolgirl on a Friday night. On the other hand, Merlin really didn’ t want to go clubbing. A knock sounded at the door . “Merlin?” came Arthur ’s muf fled voice. Merlin bolted upright, staring at the door in shock. He scrambled to his feet and flung the door open. On the other side was Arthur , arms folded, an unimpressed expression on his face. “Isn’ t it your turn to cook tonight?” Merlin blinked back at him in silence. “Well?” Arthur said, looking increasingly uncertain. “Or is this your way of telling me you have other plans?” “No!” Merlin blurted out. Then mentally kicked himself for not making up an excuse. A pleased smile crept across Arthur ’s face, and his usual cocky arrogance set back in. “Come up already then,” he called over his shoulder as he headed back down the hall. Gaping after him, Merlin didn’ t close the door until Arthur disappeared around the corner . Well, this was exactly what Merlin was trying to avoid. But Merlin was smiling as he tapped out a response to Gwaine, turning down his invitation. As he climbed the stairs toward the penthouse, Merlin couldn’ t help humming under his breath, heart skipping a beat at the thought of an entire night spent alone with Arthur . The penthouse door was unlocked when Merlin tried the handle. “I could be coming to rob you,” Merlin called as he toed his shoes of f. Arthur tipped his head back from his position on the couch, looking at Merlin from upside down. “But you’re not.” “You don’ t know that.” Rolling his eyes, Arthur closed his book and padded over to meet Merlin in the kitchen. “I could take you.” “I’m stronger than I look,” Merlin snif fed. He pointedly turned his back on Arthur and bent to peer into the fridge. “Curry maybe?” “Sure. Need help?” “I wouldn’ t turn it down. Start the rice while I chop the vegetables?” They chatted amiably in the kitchen while preparing dinner , Merlin’ s music playing quietly in the background. When they sat down to eat, Arthur asked, mid-mouthful, “Y ou didn’ t have other plans tonight, did you?” Merlin’ s hand jerked and sent curry splattering. “I told you no earlier .” “I’m asking you again.” Merlin dropped his eyes to his plate, pushing rice and curry around until one pile was mostly mush. “I wasn’ t sure,” Merlin said honestly . “Gwaine invited me out, but I hadn’ t answered him yet. Gwen and Lance aren’ t around, so I didn’ t know if… our plans changed.” “You didn’ t want to come without them.” Arthur ’s tone was carefully neutral. “No, that’ s not it,” Merlin said quickly . “I-I did. But I didn’ t know if you would.” Surprise flickered across Arthur ’s face. “Merlin, we’re friends, aren’ t we?” “Yes,” Merlin answered without hesitation. “Then it doesn’ t matter if it’ s just us,” Arthur said, flashing a charming smile and nudging Merlin’ s leg under the table. “Right,” Merlin croaked. Arthur ’s shoulders slumped slightly , and he bowed his head. “But you could’ve gone out with Gwaine if you wanted.” “I didn’ t. I’d rather be here with you.” Arthur shot him an unreadable look. “But you do sometimes. Go out with Gwaine, I mean.” Merlin nodded slowly , unsure what Arthur was getting at. “Are you and Gwaine…?” Merlin looked at Arthur blankly . When his meaning sank in, Merlin barked a laugh. “God, no,” he said. “Gwaine’ s not interested in anything more than a shag, and as nice as that would be, no thanks. Besides, Lance comes out with us sometimes too.” Arthur seemed a little more at ease, but tension still held his shoulders taut. “I know how Gwaine is. I’ve been out with him too. Going to a club or a pub with Gwaine doesn’ t usually end with anyone leaving alone.” Heat crept into Merlin’ s cheeks, and he desperately tried to will it down. “Even Gwaine just needs a friend sometimes,” he said lightly . Arthur didn’ t ask any more, but Merlin could tell by the purse of his lips that he could read between the lines. An odd tension hung in the air between them as they finished their dinner , and it didn’ t dissipate until Merlin flicked a handful of soap suds at Arthur while tidying up. From there, the night devolved into a slippery water fight. Merlin and Arthur laughed themselves hoarse, slipping and sliding in the puddles on the kitchen tile, clothes soaked through. Cleaning up the mess afterward was much less fun, but somehow , Merlin couldn’ t imagine a better night. “Don’ t you dare sit on the couch in your wet clothes,” Arthur shouted. Merlin spun around and stuck his tongue out. “Relax, clotpole. I’ll go home and change.” Shaking his head, Arthur breezed past him, heading for the bedroom. “Don’ t bother , I’ll lend you some pyjamas.” Before Merlin had a chance to protest, Arthur was banging through the dresser . Two things flew through the open doorway and smacked Merlin in the face. “Try those,” Arthur called. Clutching the clothes to his chest, Merlin dithered until Arthur started to pull his shirt over his head. Wide-eyed, Merlin watched the wet fabric slide over Arthur ’s skin, revealing inch after inch of golden skin. With a squeak, Merlin scampered away into a spare bedroom and slammed the door . Breathing hard, he leaned back against the door , knocking his head against the wood to clear his head. He needed to get a grip. The pyjamas he’d been given would be soaked through if he didn’ t stop clutching them to his chest and get changed already . The pyjamas were a little big, as Merlin had expected. But they were comfortable, and they smelled like Arthur . Merlin padded out of the spare bedroom and hung his clothes in the bathroom before flopping down beside Arthur on the couch. By mutual agreement, they put a film on to watch. At first, they snarked at each other and sniggered at inside jokes, as usual. But without Gwen and Lance there, Merlin allowed himself a little bit more free reign. Allowed himself to be bolder than he would dare with his best friend there to see the way he looked at her boyfriend. He looked a little longer , laughed a little harder . When Arthur slung an arm across the back of the couch, Merlin inched closer , letting his head slip onto Arthur ’s shoulder during an emotional scene. By the time the credits rolled, Merlin didn’ t even know how they got there, but he was curled into Arthur ’s side, and Arthur ’s arm was snug around his shoulders. His heart was pounding so loudly he was sure Arthur could hear it. When he tipped his head back to look at Arthur , Arthur was looking back. Their gazes collided and, for a moment, Merlin swore he saw a flash of desire in Arthur ’s eyes. Merlin pulled away . No. Arthur was his best friend’ s boyfriend. As wonderful as the night had been, it was nothing but a fantasy in Merlin’ s own head. -- Leon showed up at the penthouse bearing trays full of Greek catering. Apparently , he’d been in char ge of a company event and was saddled with all the leftover food. He begged Arthur and Gwen to take some, and they’d taken pity on him. But not before corralling Merlin, Lance, and Gwaine into joining them to polish it of f. The trays were lined up across the kitchen counters, and the six of them were each waiting their turn to fill their plates. Without being asked, Lance put together two platefuls, carefully selecting dif ferent things for each plate. He sat beside Gwen at the table, handing her one plate and setting the other down in front of himself. Gwen beamed up at him and said, “My favorites!” Arthur flopped onto the couch, nudged Merlin with his foot, and looked pointedly at the food until Merlin sighed, rolled his eyes, and got up. “No olives, you know how I like it,” Arthur chirped at Merlin’ s back. When Merlin returned with their food, an olive sat in the center of Arthur ’s plate, the biggest one Merlin could find. Pouting, Arthur stabbed the olive and waved it in Merlin’ s face. “You know I’m not going to eat this,” he complained. Blinking innocently , Merlin popped a piece of chicken into his mouth. “You never know , Arthur . Today could be the day you discover you love olives.” “Take the damn olive.” “Are you suuuure you don’ t want to try it?” Arthur shook his head vehemently and jabbed Merlin’ s cheek with the olive. “Suit yourself.” Grinning, Merlin caught the olive between his teeth and pulled it of f Arthur ’s fork. As he chewed, he added, “One day you’ll see sense, Arthur Pendragon.” “You’re an idiot,” Arthur grumbled between mouthfuls of rice. Gwaine had been watching the entire exchange with interest. As he sauntered over to the couch, he asked, “When did you four manage to swap partners without any of us noticing?” One by one, Arthur , Merlin, Gwen, and Lance froze. Slowly , they turned to stare at Gwaine, who had a roguish grin on his face. The silence stretched on for so long that Gwaine’ s grin faded, and he glanced between the four of them, looking slightly concerned. “All right there? I was just joking.” Arthur found his voice first. “That doesn’ t make any sense,” he said flatly . “Merlin and Lance aren’ t even together , and they never have been.” The atmosphere turned tense even as the grin reappeared on Gwaine’ s face. Merlin and Lance both looked away , clearing their throats uncomfortably . “Merlin, mate! Did you lie to me about hooking up with Lance?” Gwaine lamented. Arthur and Gwen drew in twin sharp intakes of breath. Merlin darted a guilty glance at Arthur , and out of the corner of his eye, didn’ t miss Lance doing the same at Gwen. Neither of them knew what to say , but there was no denying the hurt written across Arthur and Gwen’ s faces. Loudly – too loudly – Leon declared, “The food is good, isn’ t it? I didn’ t get a chance to try it at work, but it’ s top notch.” Lance shot Leon a grateful smile, and Leon gave a small nod in response. There was a troubled look in Leon’ s eyes when Merlin met his gaze, and Merlin gave a tiny shake of his head, silently begging Leon not to ask. No one spoke of it further , but the revelation had soured the night. Gwen was uncharacteristically quiet, and Arthur answered any questions directed his way in short, clipped tones. Gwaine and Leon made their excuses soon after their plates were empty . Merlin couldn’ t blame them. He’d escape too if he could. Quietly , the remaining four cleared away the dirty dishes and boxed up what little food was left. When Gwen elbowed her way past Lance to fill up the kettle, Lance leaped out of the way like a startled deer . He gave her a wide berth as she moved around the kitchen making tea. Seeing his opportunity , Merlin caught Arthur ’s eye and jerked his head toward the living room. Arthur ’s eyes were guarded, but he gave a single small nod. Relieved, Merlin led the way out of the kitchen, through the living room, and into the hallway leading to the bedrooms. He didn’ t dare glance back, reassured by the sound of soft footfalls that Arthur was following. “What?” Arthur asked gruf fly. Merlin bit his lip. He forced himself to turn around and meet Arthur ’s steely gaze. “It’s not what you think,” he blurted out. “What’ s not what I think?” Arthur scof fed. “Lance and I,” Merlin said softly . He stared down at his hands, wondering why the hell he was having this conversation. Arthur didn’ t speak for long moments. Merlin didn’ t look up, busy toying with the loose threads on the hem of his shirt. An unsteady huf f of breath and a soft thump later , Arthur said, “It’ s none of my business.” Merlin peeked up through his lashes to find Arthur slumped against the wall, his arms folded tightly in front of his chest, his eyes downcast. “No, it’ s not,” Merlin agreed. Sounding defeated, Arthur said, “But what were you going to say?” Merlin closed his eyes. Helpless to resist, he swayed closer , close enough their arms could almost brush. “It doesn’ t matter , does it?” Arthur sighed, and he dropped his forehead to Merlin’ s shoulder . “Tell me anyways?” he pleaded. “Lance and I never dated.” Explanation owed or not, Merlin had dragged Arthur over here with the intent of coming clean. “But Gwaine wasn’ t wrong. We’ve fallen into bed together a few times over the years. We’re better of f as friends though.” “Right. Friends,” Arthur said flatly . His head snapped up, eyes blazing. “Do you jump into bed with all your friends, Merlin?” Surprised at the vehemence in Arthur ’s tone, Merlin jerked backward. “What – no!” he spluttered. Suddenly , it dawned on Merlin why Arthur might be angry . Horrified, he hastily added, “Arthur , listen, Gwen and I never – “ Arthur sneered, cutting him of f. Like throwing down a gauntlet, Arthur challenged, “W ould you sleep with me, Merlin?” Merlin’ s words died in his throat. “What?” Arthur ’s eyes widened. His jaw snapped shut and all the fight bled out of him. “I-I’m sorry ,” he stammered. “I don’ t know what’ s got into me. That was massively unfair , please for give me.” As Merlin’ s brain caught up with the conversation, it was as if a dam broke loose. “Why do you care?” Arthur froze. Emboldened, Merlin took a step closer , crowding into Arthur ’s space. Arthur ’s eyes snapped to his, and the desire swirling in those depths set Merlin’ s heart hammering. Cautiously , Merlin brushed a lock of hair of f Arthur ’s forehead. Before he could pull back, Arthur caught his hand, his touch a searing burn that sent fire racing up Merlin’ s veins. Arthur ’s eyelids fluttered shut, and his face dipped closer . Merlin felt as though he were rooted to the floor . Just a breath separated them, if one of them bridged that final distance. But that distance yawned as wide as a chasm. Drawing in a shuddering breath, Merlin rasped, “Gwen.” Arthur ’s eyes flew open as Merlin extricated his hand from Arthur ’s grip and stepped back. “I just wanted you to know ,” Merlin murmured to Arthur ’s stricken face. Then he fled, making his escape out the door , shouting to Lance that he would meet him at home. Merlin was sat on the couch, his face buried in his hands, when Lance joined him. He laid a comforting hand on Merlin’ s shoulder . “You’re in love with Arthur .” “You’re in love with Gwen.” Neither of them confirmed or denied it. It was superfluous, the truth was obvious enough. Merlin sighed and tried to smother himself with a cushion. “I almost kissed Arthur tonight.” “Merlin!” Lance said, sounding appalled. Merlin shot him a dirty look and threw the cushion at him. “Don’ t sound all high and mighty . As if you wouldn’ t kiss Gwen if she asked.” “Are you saying Arthur asked?” Wincing, Merlin didn’ t answer . “I also told him that we’d hooked up a few times.” Lance didn’ t press, simply tossed the cushion back to Merlin. “Yeah,” he sighed. “I told Gwen too.” “Why did it feel like we owed them an explanation?” “I wish I knew , Merlin.” -- For a few days, the dynamic between the four of them remained stilted. For once, they behaved more like a couple and two close friends, with Arthur and Gwen paying more attention to each other than to Merlin and Lance. It didn’ t last long. Before the week was out, they fell back into old patterns, as if nothing had changed. It drove Merlin a little bit crazy , but he would take it over the heart-rending guilt of nearly kissing his best friend’ s boyfriend. Most days, it was almost easy to for get that Arthur and Gwen were a couple. But they were. And couples did tend to do couple-y things once in a while, even ones as odd as Arthur and Gwen. Merlin had texted Gwen, asking if she wanted him to bring over takeaway for dinner . He received a flustered text in response informing him that it was Gwen and Arthur ’s anniversary , so they actually had dinner reservations, just the two of them. Gwen was very apologetic they’d for gotten to tell Merlin and Lance, but they would see them tomorrow for brunch? Merlin blinked down at his phone, unexpectedly hurt at the revelation. He fired of f a response full of exclamation points and smiling emojis that reflected none of the conflict in his head. When Lance returned home after work, a bag of takeaway in hand, Merlin had a bottle of wine waiting. “Finally ,” Merlin groaned, pouring out two glasses of wine and taking a long swig. “I thought it was too pathetic to drink alone.” Lance winced in sympathy . “I hope we have more than just the one bottle.” Another swig. Merlin flapped a hand at the cabinet. “We’re well stocked.” They drank in silence, picking at the curry Lance had brought home. As Merlin was pouring his third glass, he muttered, “What the hell are we doing?” “Drinking,” Lance said solemnly . He held out his glass for a refill, nodding approvingly when Merlin emptied the bottle. Merlin kicked Lance’ s ankle. “No, we’re being idiots,” he declared. “Pining after people in a happy relationship.” “It’s their seven-year anniversary , isn’ t it? God, seven years.” “Seven years,” Merlin echoed, nodding miserably . “Are we terrible people for wanting them to break up?” “Probably ,” Lance sighed. “God, Lance, they’re our friends . How could we?” Wobbling to his feet, Lance grabbed a second bottle of wine and thrust it at Merlin. “More drinking and less thinking.” Merlin was in whole-hearted agreement. Another bottle of wine later , Merlin and Lance sprawled on the couch together , each using one plush armrest as a pillow . “Do you know how much easier my life would be if I was into Gwaine?” Merlin lamented. Lance hiccuped a laugh. “That’ s how I know you’re drunk. Your life would be hell. The only thing Gwaine can commit to is a drink.” “Fine. But he could just break my heart, and I’d get over him.” “Merlin, my friend. You’ve never been good at getting over anyone. Case in point.” “This is all hypothetical, can’ t you just give me this?” Merlin whined. “Sure, Merlin. Gwaine would be your perfect match,” Lance said obediently , hiding a smirk behind his hand. Merlin sat up and scowled. “Now you’re just insulting me.” Lance pressed his lips together , blinking innocently . Sighing, Merlin swung his legs down and flopped back against the cushions. “What would really make our lives easier is if we were in love with each other ,” he said mournfully . “No need to make that sound like a death sentence,” Lance grumbled. “But you’re right.” “Yeah,” Merlin murmured. “It was good the couple times we hooked up, wasn’ t it?” Lance propped himself up on his elbows and shot Merlin a fond smile. “It was great,” he agreed. Merlin smiled back, his gaze skimming down Lance’ s form. Slowly , he shifted onto his knees on the couch and bent over with hands on either side of Lance’ s hips. Peering up hesitantly , Merlin whispered, “It could be good now too.” Surprise flickered in Lance’ s eyes. He reached out a hand to cup Merlin’ s cheek, thumb skating over Merlin’ s lips. Lance’ s breath hitched when Merlin’ s lips parted for him - a question. “Yeah,” he breathed, lurching forward to capture Merlin’ s lips with his own. They lost themselves in each other right there on the couch, with Lance fucking Merlin half- bent over the armrest. It was more comfort than lust, each of them seeing another ’s face, trying not call another ’s name. But it was enough. For one night, it was enough. Too exhausted to drag themselves of f to bed afterwards, Merlin tugged the throw blanket over them, and they snuggled together to drift of f to sleep. The next morning, Merlin jolted awake at a loud gasp. Cracking an eye open, Merlin lifted his head of f Lance’ s chest and squinted around the room. Gwen stood in the doorway , one hand on the doorknob, the other covering her mouth. “Gwen – “ Merlin reached out a hand toward her , and the movement made the blanket flop down, revealing his bare chest underneath. Gwen’ s breath hitched on a sob. She turned and fled. The door slammed, and Lance stirred. “Merlin?” he mumbled blearily . Merlin slapped a hand over his face. Shit. -- “Gwen?” Arthur asked, alarmed when Gwen pelted into the penthouse. Gwen collapsed against the door , sucking in heaving breaths. Her eyes were wide and hurt, and they stared through Arthur . In a few quick strides, Arthur was at her side. He took hold of one of Gwen’ s arms and shook her lightly . “Gwen, are you all right?” All at once, Gwen seemed to shake herself out of it. Sending Arthur a bright, brittle smile, Gwen said, “I’m fine, Arthur .” Arthur wasn’ t buying it. “Guinevere,” he repeated sternly . “Please tell me. Has someone hurt you? I thought you were just going to Merlin and Lance’ s?” Gwen’ s bright façade cracked. “No one’ s hurt me. They’re not coming to brunch,” she whispered. “All right? We’ll just see them tonight then.” Gwen shook her head frantically . “No! We’re not seeing them until the party ,” she snapped. Arthur was so confused. “Our New Y ear’s Eve party tomorrow night, you mean?” “What other party is there, Arthur?” Gwen’ s voice cracked like a whip. Holding his hands up in surrender , Arthur backed away . “Whatever you want, Gwen.” After a quiet day and an awkwardly stilted dinner , Arthur finally wheedled the information out of her . A hundred emotions rushed through him all at once. He wanted to march downstairs and punch Lance in the face. He wanted to scream and cry . He wanted to demand answers from Merlin. Merlin told Arthur that he and Lance were just friends. Had that been a lie? Internally , Arthur laughed at his own hypocrisy . Merlin owed him no answers. He hadn’ t last time, and he didn’ t this time. Arthur had known for a long time he felt things for Merlin that were extremely inappropriate toward his girlfriend’ s best friend. Now , he was forced to face it. He was jealous. Arthur wholeheartedly agreed with Gwen’ s decision. They would not be seeing Merlin and Lance until they had to at the party . Honestly , Arthur had no idea how to face Merlin, but he had no choice but to put on a happy face when Merlin and Lance showed up at the door on New Y ear’s Eve, Gwaine in tow . Gwaine paid no mind to the tension, clapping Arthur on the shoulder and bounding past him toward the booze. Dawdling at the threshold, Merlin held out a plate of cookies like a peace of fering. Lance hovered at his shoulder , half-hiding, half peering guiltily inside. Playing the gracious host, Arthur accepted the cookies with a tight smile. “Please, come in.” Relief washed over Merlin’ s features. Sulkily , Arthur wondered what Merlin thought he was going to do. Bar him from the party? Merlin perched on the couch, flushed and fidgety as he talked to Lance and Gwaine. Arthur pretended he was busy with the cookies, slowly unwrapping the cling wrap and fiddling with it, smoothing out creases unnecessarily before tossing it away . He was being unfair . Sighing, Arthur squared his shoulders and went to join the conversation. To his surprise, the night went better than he’d expected. Gwaine’ s constant stream of chatter worked wonders. He even managed to get them all laughing together . As more guests trickled in, Arthur could breathe easier . Rarely was he stuck in a one-on-one conversation with Merlin, and he could survive being in the same room as the object-of-his- affections-who-had-just-fucked-someone-else for one night. As parties went, Arthur thought he and Gwen did a fairly good job. The drinks were flowing, their guests were laughing, and the cheery atmosphere never faltered. By the time the midnight countdown started, everyone was sloshed. Grins adorned every face as they shouted out the countdown. “Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!” Slinging an arm over Gwen’ s shoulders, Arthur glanced around, grinning fondly at Gwaine dramatically conducting the chant. “Six! Five! Four!” Merlin waved his champagne flute in the air , toasting to something invisible with a flourish that had Lance doubling over in laughter . “Three! Two! One!” Arthur swooped down and caught Gwen’ s lips with his own. He pulled away just in time to catch Leon dipping Mor gana in showy kiss. Wrinkling his nose, Arthur turned away , only for his stomach to drop to his feet. Merlin twirled his champagne flute between his fingers, muttering something that had Lance nodding thoughtfully . With a shrug, Merlin leaned in and planted a sloppy kiss on Lance’ s cheek. Beside him, Arthur felt Gwen stif fen. Lance and Merlin clinked glasses and continued to chat as if nothing had happened. Their relationship status clearly hadn’ t changed. Arthur glanced at Gwen and followed her gaze to Lance’ s face. Reflected in her eyes was the same barely concealed hurt in Arthur ’s heart. God, they were complete idiots. After the party wound down, Arthur and Gwen were getting ready for bed when Arthur broached the conversation. It was long overdue. “This isn’ t working anymore, is it?” Arthur asked softly . Skirt halfway down her thighs, Gwen froze. She glanced at Arthur , her gaze skimming up his bare chest and up to his face. Smiling sadly , she shook her head. “I don’ t think so.” “I’ll always love you, Gwen.” Gwen tugged on her sleep shirt and padded over to Arthur . Wrapping her arms around his waist, she leaned close and rested her forehead against Arthur ’s shoulder . Even as she pressed her cold fingers into Arthur ’s skin for warmth, a habit born of long years of familiarity , she murmured, “Me too. But I think we’re better of f as friends.” Later , curled under the covers in the darkness, Arthur said, “Lance is besotted with you, you know .” Gwen didn’ t miss a beat. “Merlin is arse over tea kettle for you, you know .” Laughter bubbled out of Arthur , uncontrollable and unstoppable. Moments later , Gwen’ s giggles joined his, and soon, they were both howling. Slowly , their laughter faded back into companionable silence. “I wonder if this could’ve been enough,” Arthur murmured, half to himself. The covers rustled, and Gwen’ s hand touched his arm. “Not after meeting them. We would always want more.” Arthur tucked an arm under his head and stared up at the blank ceiling. Merlin’ s smiling face swam before his eyes, and unbidden, an answering smile crept its way across Arthur ’s lips. -- Arthur woke alone in bed. A text from Gwen awaited him, telling him she was meeting Lance for brunch. Smiling fondly , he texted her back with a quick ’Good luck.' He’d always admired Gwen’ s determination, and he was strangely proud it extended to this. After a few deep breaths, Arthur fired of f another text. To Merlin. ’Can I see you?’ The response was near instantaneous. ’I’ll be up in fifteen.’ Arthur bolted out of bed. He spent a good five minutes internally panicking, running through ideas of what he would say or do. Then he spent the next ten minutes brushing his teeth, fiddling with his hair , and finding an acceptable shirt and pair of trousers to wear . By the time a knock came at the door , Arthur had worked himself into a frenzy , half-formed confessions of love on the tip of his tongue. Any words he planned flew out of his head the moment he opened the door . Merlin looked positively adorable. He was still in his pyjamas, with an oversized hoodie thrown over his shirt. He looked sleep-soft and cuddly , and Arthur longed to run his fingers through his mop of tousled hair . In a daze, Arthur stepped aside to let Merlin pass, and the door fell shut with a quiet thump. Merlin waved a floppy sleeve. “Hi.” That hopeful smile was Arthur ’s undoing. Desire buzzed under his skin, the need to touch overwhelming in its intensity . In one long stride, Arthur covered the distance between them. Surrendering to his longing at last, Arthur reached across the chasm between them, one hand tangling in Merlin’ s hair , the other caressing his hip. Startled, Merlin managed to squeak “Arthur?” before Arthur ’s lips crashed against his. For one heart stopping moment, Merlin froze. Arthur ’s hand slid down to cradle the back of his neck, and Merlin melted against him. Relief sang through Arthur ’s veins, a chant of “YesMerlinY es” on loop in his mind. Merlin kissed back like his life depended on it, and Arthur drank it all in, desperate for anything Merlin would give. A sharp gasp spilled from Merlin’ s lips, and he wrenched himself free. Breath gone ragged, he rasped, “ Gwen. ” Trembling hands rose to Arthur ’s chest, then Merlin hesitated. His fingers trailed across Arthur ’s skin in a fleeting caress before he shoved Arthur away . Arthur staggered and fell back against the door . “Merlin, wait – “ Merlin drew himself up to his full height, eyes snapping with hurt fury . He jabbed a finger at Arthur , all righteous indignation. “Don’ t you dare.” The venom in Merlin’ s voice surprised Arthur , and he stuttered to a stop, wide-eyed. “Is this some game you’re playing?” Merlin practically snarled. “Is this because I slept with Lance? I know you know , Arthur .” “No – “ “I don’ t even want to hear it!” Merlin snapped. “I don’ t care who you are, Arthur Pendragon. You don’ t get to do this to me, and you do not get to do this to Gwen!” Merlin spun in a circle, clearly looking for an exit, but his frustrated gaze returned to Arthur , who was frozen in place blocking the door . “Gwen and I broke up!” Arthur shouted. Merlin made a strangled sound in his throat. “What?” he asked weakly . Tentatively , Arthur reached out a hand and touched Merlin’ s arm. Encouraged when he wasn’ t shaken of f, Arthur wrapped his fingers around Merlin’ s wrist, rubbing his thumb soothingly over where he could feel Merlin’ s pulse racing. “Gwen and I broke up last night,” Arthur repeated softly . Merlin looked lost. “Because of me?” “Only a bit,” Arthur admitted, of fering a crooked smile. At Merlin’ s stricken face, Arthur hastily added, “But mostly because we’re better of f as friends. It took her and I falling in love with you and Lance to figure it out.” “Oh.” “’Oh’? That’ s it?” A wobbly smile crept over Merlin’ s face. “Oh,” he repeated. With a twist of his wrist, Merlin tangled his and Arthur ’s fingers. Eyes gone soft and wide with wonder , he stared down at their entwined hands, his thumb brushing across Arthur ’s skin. A breathless laugh tore out of Arthur ’s throat. Merlin’ s touch, featherlight and tender , had him aching for more. “Have I rendered you speechless at last?” Merlin scof fed, but his smile lit up his face when he looked at Arthur . “You’re in love with me?” Arthur ’s fingers tightened around Merlin’ s. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Have been for a while now I think.” “And Gwen?” Merlin asked softly . Chuckling, Arthur said, “I don’ t think you have to worry about Gwen. Looking back on it, she was half in love with Lance the first day they met.” Merlin’ s lips twisted in a wry smile. “Lance was the same.” Arthur gave Merlin’ s hand an experimental tug and grinned when Merlin went willingly . He pulled Merlin close until there was barely a breath of space between them. Cupping Merlin’ s jaw, Arthur ran his thumb across Merlin’ s bottom lip, delighting in the tiny hitch in Merlin’ s breath. “I can’ t say I was much better ,” Arthur whispered. “Couldn’ t stop thinking about you ever since I first laid eyes on you.” “You acted like you hated me!” Arthur smirked. “What is it they say? Love and hate are two sides of the same coin?” Rolling his eyes, Merlin heaved a put upon sigh. “I don’ t know what I did to deserve falling in love with such a prat.” Arthur sucked in a sharp breath. “But have you?” “Have I what?” “Fallen in love with me,” Arthur breathed. Merlin’ s expression went soft, all pretense of teasing gone. “Do you even need to ask?” Gently , he took hold of Arthur ’s hand on his cheek and brought it to his lips. “Yes.” -- Six Months Later “Arthur!” Merlin yelled, kicking at the door to the penthouse. “The door closed again!” Hurried footsteps were accompanied by Arthur ’s muf fled shout. “Coming!” Merlin huf fed impatiently and hefted the box in his arms to adjust his grip. The door flew open, a sheepish Arthur on the other side. “Sorry , I for got you went down for one more box.” A fond smile crept across Merlin’ s face. He staggered inside and dropped the box on top of one of many stacks in the living room. Moving was such a nightmare, even when it was only up a few flights of stairs. He leaned heavily against the couch, trying to catch his breath. Arthur wrapped an arm around his waist, and Merlin slumped against him gratefully . “You’re forgiven,” Merlin said cheekily . Arthur snorted and rolled his eyes, but Merlin wasn’ t fooled. There was no hiding the soppy , adoring look in Arthur ’s eyes, especially not when he followed it up with a quick press of lips to Merlin’ s temple. “You two are adorable,” came Gwen’ s amused voice. Blushing, Merlin peered around Arthur . Gwen stood in the hallway with her hands on her hips, an indulgent smile on her face. Just behind her , Lance was backing out of the bedroom, laden with an armful of bags. “Look who’ s talking,” Merlin shot back, raising an eyebrow and shooting a pointed look behind her . Gwen glanced over her shoulder . She of fered a bright smile and exchanged a few quiet words with Lance. Merlin watched, amused, as Gwen tried to tug a few of the bags away while Lance stubbornly held on. After a brief tug of war , Gwen emer ged triumphant, a bag looped over either arm. Arthur huf fed a quiet laugh and whispered in Merlin’ s ear, “Lance is hopelessly besotted.” “Look who’ s talking,” Merlin repeated, smirking. Arthur bumped Merlin’ s cheek with his nose in punishment. “It’s your fault,” he said, as if that explained everything. “Oh?” Merlin peered at Arthur out of the corner of his eye, a coy smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I suppose I can accept that.” Arthur turned back to Gwen, who was taking one last lap around the penthouse. “Got everything, Gwen?” “I think so,” she replied, spinning slowly in a circle. She shot Arthur a soft smile. “It’s not like I’ll be far if I’ve for gotten anything.” “It’s not like you had much to move,” Lance piped up. “You’ve been moving your things into mine and Merlin’ s flat for months now .” “Better get used to calling it our flat instead of yours and Merlin’ s,” Gwen teased. “How about we just call it home?” Gwen’ s face lit up, and she flung her arms around Lance’ s neck. “Home. Sounds perfect.” “Adorable,” Merlin declared. Gwen tipped her head back and stuck her tongue out at Merlin. Merlin grinned, disentangled himself from Arthur , and strode across the room to take Gwen’ s arm. He tugged her away from Lance and enveloped her in a hug. As if sensing this was a moment just for the two of them, Lance and Arthur wandered away , and Arthur of fered to help Lance carry the bags down to his and Gwen’ s flat. Watching over Gwen’ s shoulder , Merlin smiled softly at their retreating backs. He squeezed Gwen tightly , and Gwen held on just as tight. “Who would’ve thought this is how our lives would turn out?” Merlin mused. Gwen laughed into Merlin’ s shoulder . “If you asked me two years ago where I thought I would be now , I would probably have said engaged to Arthur .” Slowly , Merlin pulled away and caught Gwen’ s eye. In a serious voice, he asked, “Gwen, are you really happy? Is this everything you wanted?” Taking Merlin by the shoulders, Gwen shook him lightly . “Stop worrying. No more feeling guilty . Merlin, I’m so very happy . Lance is everything I ever wanted and more.” Merlin wrapped Gwen in another hug. “Good,” he said fiercely . “You deserve it.” When they parted, Gwen took Merlin’ s hands in her own. “And you?” “I’m deliriously happy ,” Merlin said, unable to help the grin spreading across his face. “I can tell,” Gwen said, beaming. “You and Lance moving in here was the best thing that happened to both of us.” “Ready?” Lance called from the doorway . Gwen squeezed Merlin’ s hands once more, then released him and bounded out the door . “Ready!” She hugged Arthur , whispered something in his ear , and disappeared around the corner . Arthur stepped back inside the penthouse, shutting the door behind him. A wide smile on his face, he met Merlin halfway across the room with a slow , deliberate kiss. “What did Gwen say to you?” Arthur chuckled, wrapping his arms around Merlin. “She told me you’re the best thing that will ever happen to me, and to hold on tight.” Merlin threw back his head in laughter . He turned in Arthur ’s arms so his back was to Arthur ’s front, surveying his new home. Their home. “Smart woman, Gwen is.” “That she is,” Arthur said. “But funnily enough, I’d worked that one out all on my own. I never plan on letting you go.” Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!
Words: 17,592
Chapters: 1/1
The Merlin Dilemma
Arthur likes Gwen. Or at least he thinks he does. But then events occur that make him realize something about Merlin.Meanwhile, Lancelot is back and Merlin gets some unexpected attention.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Multi
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Published: 2010-01-12
Words: 4,481
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71
Bookmarks: 7
Hits: 3,682
Relationships: Merlin/Morgana, Arthur/Gwen, Lancelot/Gwen, Merlin/Gwen, Gwen/Morgana (friendship), mention of Arthur/Morgana, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
What Do We Have?
Merlin is the only gay boy in school (well, besides Gwaine and Percival, but they are together so it’s not relevant) and needs a date to prom. Arthur offers to go as a friend, but really he wants to go as more than that. After Merlin turns him down, Arthur is determined to make sure Merlin has a good night at prom, even if that means Merlin goes with someone else. But the boy who asks Merlin to prom turns out to be shady and Arthur really doesn’t like the idea of anyone hurting Merlin.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Modern Era, Gay, Friendship/Love, Romance, Relationship(s), Prom, Angst, Fluff, One Shot, POV Arthur, High School, Fluid Sexuality
Language: English
Published: 2015-12-15
Words: 5,208
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 11
Kudos: 269
Bookmarks: 22
Hits: 3,598
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Leon/Morgause (Merlin)
Characters: Merlin, Arthur, Gwaine, Percival, Gwen, Lance, Leon, Morgause, Morgana, Uther, Hunith, Daegal, Gaius
Lullaby
Merlin discovers Arthur's secret talent.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Canon Era, Established Relationship, Hidden Talents
Language: English
Published: 2015-12-23
Words: 1,022
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 1
Kudos: 244
Bookmarks: 12
Hits: 2,427
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
steady with wintry calm
Arthur wakes up one morning before Merlin, only to contemplate how far they've come together in just a span of six months.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: Established Relationship, teen for swearing, Fluff, Modern AU
Language: English
Published: 2013-02-22
Words: 1,686
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 2
Kudos: 148
Bookmarks: 15
Hits: 2,574
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Arthur's All Alone.
Merlin and Arthur have been abandoned by the rest of the knights, and Arthur feels alone. But why is he singing?
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Category: M/M
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2013-03-14
Words: 779
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21
Bookmarks: 3
Hits: 1,120
Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandoms: Monty Python's Spam A lot, Merlin (TV)
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
(Finally) Leaning Forward
It’s easy, really.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Additional Tags: First Kiss
Language: English
Published: 2013-03-30
Words: 269
Chapters: 1/1
Kudos: 58
Bookmarks: 3
Hits: 1,228
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Dawn of a Golden Age
For the prompt: Merlin kisses Arthur on the lips right after he says thank you. Merlin feels something pass from him to Arthur and then suddenly Arthur's body is suffused in bright light. Moments later Arthur awakens, his wound healed. Arthur doesn't realize Merlin kissed him, he just thinks he healed him somehow. At first Merlin believes he healed Arthur with his kiss, but soon he starts to suspect that what he passed to Arthur was, in fact, his immortality. Merlin worries Arthur will be angry when he finds out and deem this trespass unforgivable, an utter violation of his person, for who would want to live forever? And surely, if Arthur did want to live forever, he'd choose Gwen or even one of his knights with which to share that never-ending journey.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Merlin (TV)
Relationship: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Published: 2013-04-21
Words: 14,539
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 99
Kudos: 3,936
Bookmarks: 728
Hits: 37,186
Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Declaration of love
"Gaius! What happened?" Merlin came as quickly as he could, keeping his eyes on his beloved Arthur.His Prince was deadly pale, apparently unconscious and he was barely breathing."I don't have the slightest idea," Gaius said while treating Arthur's wounds. "I believe someone attacked him in his chambers... yes, I assume it was Morgana," he added when he saw the look on Merlin's face.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Additional Tags: Kiss and Cuddle Challenge, Fluffy, First Kiss, First Time, Virgin Merlin, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Boys Kissing, Neck Kissing, Merthur - Freeform, Hurt Merlin, Male Slash, Slash
Language: English
Published: 2013-07-11
Words: 1,067
Chapters: 1/1
Comments: 5
Kudos: 324
Bookmarks: 27
Hits: 10,930
Fandoms: Merlin - Fandom, Merlin (TV)
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon
Characters: Merlin, Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon, Gaius, Gaius (Merlin)